The Industry of Shaming Black Women | @Jouelzy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
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Why is steve harvey on here he is a simp for black women.
Jouelzy what size are you wearing here in the Toni shirt?
Girl you fucking did that, this was a word
I don't mean to offend you in any way, but I was watching a video and the guy in the video (TDhiphop) said that Black people have until 2030 to succeed or else it's too late. What is your opinion on the future of Black people?
A large
“Black women are born into a crooked room and constantly told that they are wrong and not that the room is crooked.” Wow.
I know right. The most self serving arrogant comment she said.
Yes 🙌🏾. Jouelzy’s whole video is on point but this just stuck with me.
@@glisteningadvice9461 Same!!! love it
Black men are born into it as well. But women will not stand with black men to create a different house
Deep
Kim K is a perfect example. If she was a black woman, never mind...
Ummmm, that's a terrible example. She's been the "butt" of jokes for years, her husband mocked and her past thrown in her face constantly.
Honestly, the only people who give her life are women especially black women.
@@LembeckIsStaying still famous and still rich base on nothing. also still got married to her husband. name a black woman who have done that? exactly so the point still stands, something that went over your head
@@dickersonr6172 Her 3rd marriage at that, it didn't stop the brothas.smh
She never had a real black King... She's just had men that are black..
@@LembeckIsStaying Laurence Fishburn daughter back in the late 2000s had a sex tape with hopes of being famous like Kim K and she was CLOWNED back into obscurity. The public is harder on black women especially with sexuality! Mind you, Montana Fishburn is not an ugly woman, very above average looking!
As a 52 year old women I am so sick of black women being bashed . From the work place to the bedroom . I want to see us fight back against all abuse and neglect . If someone want to make money all they have to do is say something against black women .
Actually there is more money in lying and telling BW what they want to hear.
Black men are torn down just as much as black women. We have gotten to the point that if someone says one thing bad about black women, its an issue. As if we are invincible. But its okay to go on and on about how black men aint this and that.
I hear you, it's crazy how much money is being made to disgrace and encourage harm of Black women and girls.
This has been shown especially during this Derrick Jason mess, everyone is coming for the wife and her appearance, making memes and jokes, even though shes the one that got cheated on.
That lasted for like 2 days lmao
Delusional
@@marcusdupree8209 doesn't make my comment any less true, how does the duration of it change anything. They still shamed a black women for getting cheated on instaed of the cheater. The only delusional one here is you. Does it not matter what happened to her because it was short?
@@shhd2105 Lol I stated it was a short period and you agreed. How is that delusion? Try answering without moving the goal post this time tho. Yeah There's Plenty of disrespect. But What everyone is seeing is that only the disrespect black women perceive is being put on them is valid. If you cant reply without trying to shame me or going off the rails, don't bother.
And Derrick Jax got PLENTY of smoke from everyone. Black men hate him lol so again come with something different.
@@marcusdupree8209 maybe in the beginning but whose pain got turned into a joke? People started coming more for her then him. Why were people even coming for her in the first place, she's the one that got cheated on.it doesn't Matter if people came for derrick too, SHE was the victim and still was made out to be a joke. It doesn't even out bc ppl were mad at him too.
The problem I have with the "fix yourself before you get a man" mentality is that it implies imperfect people don't deserve love. Every person I know who is in a loving and healthy relationship is imperfect. Striving for betterment is a wonderful thing but I don't believe you must nurse that process in an anti romantic lifestyle. Exploring and expanding your social and sex life is also a form of self care.
This comment deserves way more likes but i see how it was just posted lol.
Thank you
You are awesome
This!! I’ve fallen in this trap in the past where I felt like my dating life isn’t working out because I’m not in a place in life that I need to be yet and that narrative is false! Look at women from other races, all they need to do is show up and they are wifed up. I’ve really only heard the “fix yourself before you get a man” idea from the black community smh
@@ArieELLE and on top of just showing up, mothers of other races teach their daughters to go for the wealthy man, but that same standard is “unrealistic” for black women.
Yes, I've noticed that when discussions about black women and dating/love come up, the assumption is that black women have a number of flaws that deter men -- never that something is wrong with this society that causes people to deem black women as "undesirable."
Is this a colorism argument?
Strange men have been having that issue forever. "all the good men are in jail, gay, or with white women" "I'm not dating a man who doesn't make more that me" We gotta be damn near perfect for some black woman and they still don't be satisfied.
@Xxxtentacion Edits what the fuck are you even talking about. One minute women want all this equality next they want a man to make more than them. What difference doesn't it make if she make more than you. If that works you and her than that's just what it is. You got foolish pride and I don't give a fuck about what what race is this or that person.
How does society make black woman undesirable? How is it society's fault? Are women not to blame at all?
@Xxxtentacion Edits You do know what a question is right? Like you comprehend what the action and term means?
I totally agree with you Joulezy and this is the reason why I refuse to watch many black TH-camrs anymore. Because they don't know how to uplift their ppl. Everything is about negative news and gossip and I get tired of the dysfunction. White media already does a good job of portraying us as lesser humans and now we've internalized it so much that when we have small opportunities to portray ourselves, we shame, shun, and berate each other. For this reason I have become much selective of the black media I consume.
This is so true! At first I realised I watch way too many white youtubers and not many that look like me but when I started watching black youtubers its like I entered into a cesspool of racism, misogynoir, and bashing from both sides (black men and black women). Nowadays I have to be very intentional about what I'm watching bc I'm realising anything youtube reccomends me with black people 9/10 it will be negative.
But there are channels I started watching that don't engage in foolishness
- lexijpoole
- sham hae
- nella Rose
- miss Darcei
- coco chinelo
The crooked room is such a perfect way to describe this world for black women!
It's the SHAME that also makes it easy for people to constantly disrespect us, humiliate us, and convince themselves that we don't deserve love, protection, and basic human respect
We can do better just like bm
well...that's what the blk mayle has been campaigning for and its worked...it started with his music.
We can’t forget the last 30 years. 1990s DAILY imagery on tv of depictions on JerrySpringer, Maury, loud aggressive women fighting everyone, don’t know who their child’s father is.. long before reality tv images that we factor into these stereotypes there was a daily shot of negative Blackwoman shaming on tv *with nothing else to counter it* except weekly scripted (“fake”, “imaginary”) tv like the Huxtables, the Winslows, A Different World... Much of what was seen on these daily shows was seen as “real.” The image of Blackwomen that we know now was very much crafted by television imagery for a an entire generation . Tv was the biggest and most influential medium at the time and it can’t be underestimated in this.
@@noble604and what is the image of the black male? You thugs really think you can shame Black women for some shitty ass tv show. stfu.
@@lindywinthrop8260 Whoa. He wasn't shaming black women. He was saying that those tv shows added to the negativity stereotypes we deal with.
Yes! It's not what B. Simone said, but the fact that it was addressed to black women as if we are the only people who have "unrealistic" standards. It seems like people are all too excited to tell black women what we do and do not deserve. I saw in a community post somewhere someone had screenshot a Tweet from a woman who was basically saying that a bitter baby mama was always worse than a deadbeat dad. I just don't understand that mentality. So the parent who stayed to raise the child and has every reason to resent the one who left is somehow more deserving of reproach? And then it's the woman's fault for choosing a bad partner as if people do not ever switch up especially when children are involved. It's gross and harmful. People should think about extending grace to those around them.
Yet her dumb ass will never criticize the Vanessa Bryant that never worked all because of her rich black husband. I think too many bw identify as men and think they are the men.
@@akossiwa9079 🥵 both of y’all are preaching. And then on top of giving our black men decades of chances to value us, when we say we can’t take it anymore and we date out, we still get shamed so either way black women can’t seem to be deserving of more than filth according to black men. Black women living and thriving in luxury is somehow wrong. Like why can’t we deserve happiness and abundance? I seriously struggle with questioning whether I deserve more in my life when I know I do. And this is why.
@brooke Smith - i disagree with you about the mother thats stays. Not all mothers are nurturing and or loving. My mother was physically, mentally, and emotional abusive. She would tell us she never wanted kids but she kept us from going into foster care because of the child support checks. I would have rather been in foster care then have suffered from her cruel treatment. An absent parent is better than a present abusive parent.
@@chieftrice Both parents - abusive and absent - are equally wrong. One sin over the other is not considered more egregious. If anything the absent parent should be more wrong for not being there to protect his/her offspring(s) from the abusive parent.
@@regisnyder being absent is also abuse. That’s why damaged people need to stop having kids 🤷🏽♀️
What I want for the black community especially our women is that we are worth so much more than we often set our selves up for. Even the things listed in Simone's list we feel that by getting a man with these will finally give us the recognition we feel we deserve. I want us to accept that we are good with or without a man/partner. We are great with or without that 6 figure salary or snatched body and features. Once we are the best individual we can be none of these things matter. Be authentic be you, love you
Black shame, particularly black female shame is a true global commodity. You are making great historical points and I am not sure when we as black folks will ever break the chains of institutionalized racism which influences how we treat and engage with one another
This is so real! I had some many people stop talking to me because I no longer wanted to be the face of struggle. I decided to fully focus on myself, start modeling and even just started my youtube channel now I get nothing, but silence.
People are just not use to black women just being people and not some bug to step on.
"No longer wanted to be the face of struggle." This is it right here. So in love with loving myself right now it's crazy. Keep doing you sis. ❤
@@SheJustLeft yes! We always have to love ourselves!! ❤❤
@@buddleia awe. Thank you!
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@World of Daisy You are a breath of fresh air, young and beautiful stay strong sis and maintain your worth😘
Jouelzy would make a great professor. Her lesson plans would be fire. Here is to hoping you get to do a PHD!
I know rite! She is inspiring & knows her stuff!
I seriously thought she was a PhD
Yassss!!! Her class would be lit!!
I definitely want her as my professor
Yes she would!!!👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Attempting to hold conversations with people who are willing to uphold shame as a tactic is so difficult cause they don’t really wanna listen. So now I’m just gonna save this video to forward to anyone who wants to fight 😂. Thank you.
As a white man, B Simone’s video just seemed like a slightly different version of “don’t expect others to be perfect if you’re not perfect yourself.” But the history of how black women are expected to keep bettering themselves despite systemic oppression definitely makes it hit different. It implies that there’s something wrong with black women and not that it’s the system that’s holding them back (especially when it comes to welfare and finances). I hadn’t made that connection before, thank you!
@Alex Reid, B. Simone was correct. Don't demand a perfect man when the woman is not getting her own life together. You are suppose to be a reflection of your mate.
Bs thats only required if you are a Black woman trying to date a Black man because when many Black men date non Black women they are NOT required to be peferct, well off, wholesome, self supporting, self made, etc.
In my opinion most relationships consist of partnerships, compromises, alliances, etc.
One thing I hated as a teen was older black women I didn't know talking to me about how I should be. The only person who should be talking to me about me is my black mother.
Right they are very critical
Ughh I know what you mean. The black women in church are notorious for trying to make black girls feel low.
Some of it can be jealousy. I remember this older black woman talked about me so bad as if she was never young.
It's because they used to get low and spread it wide now they project their shame on someone else. Yet somehow with all that life they haven't gained any wisdom. The advice they give is so off base and butt backwards. Thats why I give respect on a case by case basis because age sure doesn't equal wisdom or class.
yall sound hard headed an disrespectful.. just pull your dag um skirt down!!!..
some ppl don't know how to accept reprove meaning you could be wrong but be mad at the fact..
smh 🤦🏾♂️
this what ppl be talkin about!
but where was your mother?
When someone doesn't talk to their momma, it's usually a good reason
Lmao right. I know plenty. And she said “go heal that trauma”. That’s like the new trend rn.
Right who just wakes up and decides to not speak to their momma ? ... I believe in cutting parents off if you have too...
I know horrible children
@@melriquajackson8480 No! Horrible mothers who leave her kids dirty...While she wears Gucci and louie Vuiton...And cant afford to feed her son...She use Child support money on her...And cuss her kids out like they dont belong to her
@@jermainecruise501 i was speaking in general and maybe too early as well
Spot on! So many people stand to gain from BW being insecure and having low self esteem. We have to affirm ourselves and live our best lives daily irregardless of what anyone says or thinks.
I commented on another TH-cam channel that Kevin Samuels was a scammer and other black women attacked me with a vengeance. I was amazed.
BSimone is a pick me of note. A disgrace to women and full of self hate and internalized misogyny
He was a piece of work.
Black church does this the most.
This honestly is a root cause which grows shame and respectability politic like apples in a old apple tree.
Ooh girl don't open this door. People especially men are not ready for this particular conversation. 👏🏽👏🏽
👋 just be single! Not to hurt men or be mean but because you deserve it ladies!💗💫👑🌟
@@TheThyckVixen which black men are you referring to? Conversation activated...
The church in general is full of double agents. If it ain't preaching truth of perilous times of now vs prosperity crap, please run away
It was the PAUSE after "coloring book" that reverted my silk pressed edges.
🤣🤣🤣
!!
I wasn't ready! 🤣
I'm not interested in purchasing nor wasting my time reading any book this chick "wrote".
😂😂😂
In the black community this is not just a a thing between men and women. We do this with everything. Colorism sexism, classism. You not hood enough.. you too dark you too light.. anyyhing we can use to shame eachother we use it.
So I came across this and as for me I am blessed to hear this. Her message is serious. I take this seriously because as a black woman I have been shamed, I’m being shamed and I have shamed other black men and woman and for that I sincerely and deeply apologize. You don’t need to know me for that but l feel it’s Necessary. Wow. Blessings to you all!
It’s exhausting being a black woman online. By societal standards, I’ll never be pretty. I can’t eat too eagerly, breath too loudly, dress too proudly, walk too confidently. God forbid express an emotion. Because someone will be there to say “Isn’t that just like a black woman” Someday ill stop caring but it’s hard not to. I just want to fit in and belong.
Therapy.
The very concept of of being a black American is one that slavery gave , and the dynamics of being black in America is sort of an oxymoron now black in Africa by African standards you won’t have to try to fit in if you are in the place you belong !
@@raphaelriley9736 with the possible exception of Ghana, there’s nowhere in Africa I could work so that’s not an option. I do think a lot about leaving the US. Outside of North America, Africans are treated horribly but they tolerate Americans. Not sure what that means for an African american
@Xxxtentacion Edits I thought you were white and what are you talking about?
keep doing you sis. It is exhausting but its ok to be pretty, confident, and love yourself that's what they hate the most. Don't be ashamed to put your foot on someone's neck --- just because they don't like or approve of it
I feel like a 5 year old saying it this way, but everyone is so mean to us and it hurts my feelings. We (black women) are humans too and we deserve so much better. Especially concerning this new guy with the YT podcast, his only claim to fame is degrading and embarrassing us. We have to stop giving these shamers the authority to shit on us. We have to stop listening and believing and rewarding (with our views/money/attention) black people, especially men, who dress misogyny and condescension up as advice by way of "telling it like it is". Gag.
He's not shaming. He's simply stating facts. He did the same thing to us black men, we just don't complain about it.
@bananasandmayo: God Bless you for being authentic about your emotions. God Bless you for still having feelings ( when this world tries to strip us from our humanity) Please don’t let these comments gaslight you. It is hurtful & Kevin Samuels is wrong.
@bananasandmayo Yes it’s embarrassing for our race when the world is already on our backs, here go these narc men! It maybe time to find good men outside of our race bc it getting harder to find good black men!
I agree. We seem to gravitate towards negativity wrapped in a bow and make excuses for the behavior. At some point we need to shake ourselves out of this need for validation. No one can speak for an entire ethnic group of men or women. If you dated multiple people that didn’t work out maybe you’re consistently picking people based on the wrong qualities. I’ve seen beautiful people with terrible personalities but men and women will stay because it’s a “good look” and once they’ve tolerated enough nonsense they flip it to bashing all women or men that remind them of the previous blunders. Try to ignore the online chatter. You have to be as selective with the online world as you are in your personal life. Everyone is allowed to have their opinions and unfortunately many are abhorrent and divisive. Please don’t let anyone drag you down. At some point we’ll all stop encouraging this behavior.
@@Orbt_ 1. Nice ad hominem. 2. He said for us men to "want what we want, but buy what we can afford." Meaning we can't expect to be average: average body, average money, and average looks, to get and 7,8,9, or 10 woman.
I laugh every time I see the cover of Steve Harvey book, because we can't act like a woman if we thinking like men. If we think like men we would be to masculine to act like women.😂😂😂😫
YT algorithm got it RIGHT!!!! I have been sitting with these thoughts & reflections especially about these shaming opportunists who are fleecing the downtrodden & broken for their benefit. Thank you for putting it so eloquently!!!
B.simone has a man for 2.5 minutes and suddenly knows what's best for black women.
The funny part is NOBODY knows what works and what doesn't. What works for you, probably won't get Sally mae the same results. All I can say is be true to yourself, be honest about what you want and don't wait for someone else to get or give you what you can do for yourself.
Many black women already this and then some. But, they're still treated like what their asking for is a house with a picket fence...on mars. Like basic human respect, love and loyalty is asking for the impossible.
I know non black women who don't have HALF of the things on B's list, yet they're married (some to black men) and have the life that they want. But black women are supposed to to have a list of accomplishments and achievements and look like a 10, 24/7 in order to to start looking for a man😐.
IMHO. It is more about attitude than accomplishments. I'd prefer a peaceful and agreeable illiterate wife over a highly educated obnoxious one. Just me.
@@deepfakesforreal9487 ok so then that means you prefer a black woman
@M Inc. lol the same thing could be said for men as well. Dad bod,is the name for out of shape fathers/men. But the problem is pot bellies will NEVER be sexy and are only slightly tolerated. And no one wants to deal with a spouse, who constantly has a bad attitude. I can't think of either gender that finds that sexy. But it's funny how men can be petty and childish, but only like to apply that title to women, by using the word "attitude" to get their point across. Not to mention, there are A LOT of men who can't have kids or are masculine in any way. Yet, that's something that a lot of women want and believe, are the simple basics to any man. Everything that you're saying, can literally be applied to both genders. Men don't have a pass because they are men.
@@FightsRightsAlways Exactly
Thank you so fecking much!
Jouelzy, if I had a penny for every black person that told me “something must be wrong with you” because I’m over 30, unmarried and without children; I would be a very rich woman. And they’ll feel a way when I didn’t accept the shame they try to pin onto me; that’s a moment for me. So for women, shame is so embedded that it has become a social ritual out of habit for sport. It’s weird and exhausting.
lol oh my gosh. i got a flashback when i complained about not getting a job i wanted and the a family member responded with "you got to crawl before you walk". it is so toxic that we are expected to settle in everything.
Or they call u selfish for not wanting any..I rather people not have kids then to have them and not care for them..notjing breaks my heart more than seeing a child with dirty clothes , a runny nose begging u for food
Id say if you aint got kids atleast you did something right. Now the rest is subject to change based on attitude, behavior, qualifications, etc.
@@oncodebrutha1520 like she needs your approval and the qualifications part🤣🤣🤣 blk men are the only men I know that expect their women to have “qualifications” over character, femininity, values and so forth then get upset when women lead with their Masters and PHD (Kevin Samuels) but fail to realize that the average blk men who he is not his target are the ones who require such things. Yet may not have the same “qualifications” so now those same women are like I want a men in the top 15% and it’s unrealistic.
I get the same thing Justice. I don’t want to be a baby mama. I see how single mothers struggle ( not all ) I don’t want those problems.
Black women are divine entities that deserve love and respect! This is coming from a straight white guy.
Name is very accurate
@V Domino Highly doubt it. But I also believe women are divine entities, as are men. We are all simply out of order.
No they are normal human beings that have to earn respect just like everyone else. Don't be a doormat all your life.
Yes we are
King of Simps. 🤣
Is sad to know that anyone would actually listen to Kevin Samuels. It’s sickening
A lot of people do and he's changed lives for the good. Maybe you should listen to a show fully. Most of yall seen a clip and get pissed.
I have watched alot of his content. He makes some good points but he is mostly bashing women and pandering to his male audience. It's disingenuous and he's making money by trying to sell it to everyone that he's doing good work. Yeah, no, he's not.
@@xcal8140 actually no I have not just watched a clip I have watched 2 or three full episodes I agree with points he makes but not all of what he says should be taken as final he does not expand on alott of the things and he make it seem as if alllllll women are how he describes. He also disrespects the women on his show. A real hi value man would not operate the way he does period his show is for entertainment and the agenda behind his show is not from a pure stand point. His energy and his audience energy is not pure period. I can elaborate on all I’m saying but it is for peoples to open their eyes and seek truth and wisdom to understand what I am saying.
@@sho_yo_rey9695 exactly he has truth mixed in with shade in his message. People need to understand not everyone that had a TH-cam channel use it for good or is an expert at what they say and just because you have on a suite doesn’t mean you are high class either. TH-cam is another income for him and tearing down the black woman is he target audience. There is a lot of underlying issues he is not speaking on because he is not man enough and not educated to speak on. His energy and his audience energy is not really coming from a place that is genuine he is not changing lives with his message he is adding to the problem
@@xcal8140 he is not changing lives he is adding to the problem of what is not does not adjust the root cause he show is for entertainment and for further making people ignorant everyone you see on TH-cam you are not to take all that they say at face value and because he has on suit does not mean he his high value many men that watch his show only come out afterwards bashing and hating on black women many of the people who watch his show are in a very low low vibration energy he not helping no one
Hair shaming is one of the worst I have seen in my 50 years of life. Black men have done all kinds of things (i.e. wearing their pants of their ass and calling women "bitches and hoes") yet it seems like the whole world feels the need to shame black women over our hairstyles, smdh. If I hadn't experienced it for myself, I wouldn't have believed it.
THOSS MEN ARE RAISED BY SELF SERVING INDEPENDENT WOMEN AND IN SOME CASES THE CONTEXTS ARE APPLICAPLE ..STUPIDITY SHOULD BE SHAMED ..
If Black women stopped sleeping with men that show their behinds in the streets, pants would be worn properly. You all have so much power and most of you never act like it.
@Marly B That's not true at all.
PLEEEEASE, Blk Men were Shamed for Sagging their Pants Lol.
I'm a man with hair. In alot of cases more hair than the women I date and the women around me. I'm speaking about their natural hair. Between bm and bw who do u guess I've heard call me nappy headed or some form of negative comment about my hair when it's out ?
B Simone clearly was talking about herself. She really shaming herself
when did she said black women ? i keep missing that part and i agree i think those were things she had to work on so she is sharing it
@@amberaishaa while she never mentioned BW, it is assumed because of her core audience. It also goes along with that idea of BW needing to fix themselves, which is not a topic expressed heavily in other communities.
@@amberaishaa I honestly don't think she was specifically calling out Black women. The manifestation crowd is very mixed as well as B. Simone's audience. I belong to quite a few manifest groups and what she is saying is spot on because the women in those groups from all over the world are obsessed with finding a man. Either it's a perfect man or a bummy, cheating ex that left them. They'll go as far as looking for love spells and various witch techniques like placing his picture in their panties, putting bodily fluids in their drinks and food, and doing candle magic. Anyone fully aware of the online manifest community knows where she was getting at. These women don't want to manifest educations, careers, houses, health, or cars. They join our groups to learn how to get their ideal men.
She talking about everyone not just her. It wasn’t a message just for her. In my opinion
@@so.many.obstacles okay got it !
I’m so tired of B Simone... cant give her no time of day. She’ll continue to spew self hate cause she wishes she was either Dani Leigh or some other ‘spicy’ white laTiNa.... 🤦🏽♀️
4:00 That kinship/community feeling isn’t a positive one. Most blacks feel that because we get grouped as one collective by other races. So when that one black person does something good or bad it’s because of respectability politics that we feel that person will be representing us as a race. It’s almost like weren’t aren’t allowed to be individual in anyway both inside or outside the community.
Nah alot of black ppl do this grouping as one collective. As a black person you can do or say one thing ( unpopular opinion or behavior) and ppl try to take you the right to be "black "
I’m actually upset that Obama used that "immigrant exceptionalism" POV on AA’s. That same model minority b.s is why a lot of first generation kids today have anxiety, depression and imposter syndrome. I’m Nigerian-Canadian but from what I see the experience of N.C’s and N.A’s are really similar. They put a lot of weight on us and make being the exception the standard. It’s sad because we internalize it and use it to demonize other Black people whether in upfront prejudice or in micro-aggressions🤦🏾♀️.
Yes, this! There's also this idea that most African immigrants were engineers or doctors back home and worked their back up in the US or had to work jobs that are "beneath them" upon moving here. My parents come from working-class backgrounds in Nigeria and live a working class life in the US tbh. Not all African immigrants and their offspring fit into the exceptionalism narrative.
@B Pedersen so Is every other culture in the damn world
Same “immigrant exceptionalism” that led me into 6 figures of student loan debt 🤦🏾♀️
Ah, thank you! I wasn't comprehending what she was trying to say about Obama's comment but the way you stated it made it so much more clear.
@B Pedersen I guess you don’t watch Nollywood movies and comedy skits cuz yahoo boys, corrupt cops and classism stay pushed to the forefront. We laugh at it but we also think critically of it because at the end of the day it’s a part of our politics as Black people🤷🏾♀️. Also, we make content that reflects our reality. When these global institutions pull up Black people instead of pushing us down, the content will change. And a lot of the content isn’t even bad, they just demonize it because it’s associated with Black people. When white people do it, all of a sudden it’s revolutionary 😂🤦🏾♀️.
Being Black is hard. It really is.
It’s a mind game. We’re living in a carnival house with wavy mirrors. See through some of it and it lifts the burden. For example..
The truth about “welfare” is food stamps are good for the economy, that’s why the government uses them. They stimulate the economy. For every dollar given in food stamps, something like $1.84 is generated and pumped back into the GDP.
They know this but the idea of pushing SNAP benefits while not mentioning food stamps as self serving for the economy does a couple things .. it pushes the narrative that “the poor” are “the enemy” of the GDP and the economy and it creates a bogeyman to be mad at as the one responsible for draining the system. It gives people someone to be mad at, hyping “them” as the ones who are on “welfare” while actually helping the economy and further subsidizing farmers. (Please note, this program - SNAP - falls under the US Department of Agriculture .. NOT the US Department of Health and Human Services as you’d logically think it would as a social services program. The program is a designed to be a subsidy for American farmers.)
Once we see through some of this, beingBlack becomes a whole lot easier.
It is. And I see it from the outside. Best thing I can say is navigate to those who welcome you and not tolerate you.
@@noble604 that's right! It's always sub levels under the surface! Lazy simple minded people don't get it and mainly don't care! At this point those that just can't take on any self accountability, are dead weight and we really need to shed them. Tired of this every 4 goddamn yrs con game!
Avoid their negativity....Don't answer to it or support it.....Avoid black men who look down or talk bad about black women. Act as if these black men don't exist. Don't focus on the white people negativity take it from me your life will be stress free and you'll love every minute of your life.
But I'm built to be black.
Still relevant! This needs to be revisited. You have a brilliant mind! Keep doing what you do even when you feel like no one is getting it. The world will catch up to you sis.
Thank you so much sister; I’m new to this space and I loved this conversation. Very, very, refreshing and enlightening! Your voice is so essential!
“Tool of shame to push black women...” 💯
I always told myself there’s a difference between ‘constructive criticism’ and just tearing someone down. It’s a shame many people can’t tell the difference
truth! 💯 I understand what your saying
some ppl need to be tore down to be built back.. some ppl are hard headed..
the funny thing is, the stuff KS says, even though some fit in his categorizing! it isn't for every black woman or woman in general, but some just fit the shoe..
men need to learn to be loving faithful and women more knowledgeable and more self aware
@M Inc. blessings to any girl dating you. I know she’s unhappy. Blessings 😘
@@Thula_Impala96 Exactly
@The Esquire of Sports It seems the majority would rather be told lies that make them feel good instead of the cold hard truth. It doesn't matter though because the market will sort itself out, women who have the qualities men value, will find a husband to take care of them, those who believed the lies will face the world alone.
@The Esquire of Sports® idk if I was your ex I’d probably be in therapy. My EX calls once a week but cook
I’m loving the discussion in the comments ladies🥰one thing I find funny is how the black men lurking on this post don’t want to make their own comment but wanna be underneath everyone else’s😬it’s the same few too
that's how minions work. lol.
Ok I thought I was the only one noticing this. And their "take" on said discussions in the comment section is vapid😒
I peeped that too! It’s just honestly disgusting and just proving the woman in the video point even further. A lot of them in here are doing exactly what the topic of discussion is, shaming black women. Insults and trying to make us feel low. It’s truly scary out here right now!
#cancelliyahtv
I am so thankful for this comment 🙌. The shaming of black women that I see in this comment section is outstanding. This video was well researched, relatable, and informative yet the first words I read in the comments are rude generalisations of black women. Calling a majority of us obese, single moms who are unrealistic and unrully.
There is a difference between corrective criticism and shaming.Kevin Samuels unfortunately uses both.
True, he shames some, sometimes he offers corrective criticism. But most of the time the facts and stats are there for his view points, he picks and chooses the delivery method. In my opinion, better to focus on the message if it applies, the truth they say is bitter anyway.
He shames men very harshly. An overweight 20 year old living in mother's basement thought he should date an IG model. That was a perfect example of a delusional individual. In my experience, most black men just want a woman who has average attractiveness and is loyal and cooperative.
When it comes to high value men, of course, the standards are going to be very exacting, and no one should be surprised by offers of constructive criticism with regards to that demographic. No one would expect a supermodel to date or marry a guy working fast food, or at a car wash, or if he was not physically appealing to women.
Kevin Samuel's main audience is men, and if you read his comments you can tell that their audience has a pretty toxic relationship and view of their opposite sex. Some would even take to the comment section to trash talk their own mothers.... these men view and relationship with women is very dysfunctional.
Kevin Samuel's performs accordingly to please this audience. He ain't stupid, he is making bank of an audience of men with mommy issues, divorcees or that have some sort of experience that makes them really bitter about women, there is no shortage of those and these people are absolutely hungry for content creators that they can relate to and vent their negative feelings to
It's only a problem when he's blunt with women.
🙄
I honestly feel that we need to stop giving energy to this. Take the high road. Be our best selves, and find love in ourselves and in those who love us.
Amen
It really is that simple 😎
THIS should be a series because it's so MANY different levels and things to discuss. Black men have made it a point to SHAME Black women online constantly. Through memes, videos, and in discussions. I don't see any other race doing this. Black women get shamed SO MUCH (even for things out of their control) and we are Tired 😩
So you really feel as though bw are leading the race when it comes to being shamed ? Like if it were a competition on who could get called out labeled and criticized the most bw would be ahead of the pack by miles? This is quite fascinating. Hypothetically what if I said bm have felt that way for the better part of 30 years ? I can't speak beyond that I'm not old enough. How long was Oprah on tv ?
Shamed where? All I see is divination, astrology, magic and idolatry. All this manifest this/that, black girl/queen magic, divine black queens or God is a black wombman.
A black woman's issues is a trickle down effect from the systemic destruction of the black man.
Sadly It mad me change my perspective of them in a negative way. Conquered dark skin white supremacist with inferiority issues.
No one has the right to shame anyone. We are all human with flaws. Unless you are God you can keep your judgements to yourself.
Women always think being held accountable for your actions is shaming.
@@charmaineespeut4627 ma'am What's new about your concept of "conquered" in regards to association of bm ? See u can't say in one breath no body should be judging but then use a shaming tactict as old as I am. Bw have had to deal with the manisphere for less than a decade and somehow y'all have forgotten about how bw have been speaking about bm for half a century. " Conquered" is old school ma'am what your speaking on is bm very late responses to said concepts.
That's why it's very important for Black women to live to please themselves only. Do what makes YOU happy! Level up for YOURSELF not to attract a partner! Stop listening to people who want to pull you down. Your reaction is their income. Stop caring what other people think. If it isn't improving your mind, spirit, body, soul and bank account. Losers are always going to tell us what we can and cannot do. Only you know what you are capable of doing so never give up. The only opinion that matters is your own sis so know that you are beautiful, loved, valued, healthy and worthy.
Naw. I am planning on having babies so i need to think about thme as well.
@@sdneytaco2226 Do you plan on having babies with someone berating you? If not then don't focus on them. Once you love yourself and cut anything/anyone who doesn't benefit your life you will find someone worthy of procreating with.
You call people losers but can't have you real hair,let that make sense..
@@bogolinews6047 What does that have to do with anything? Wigs and weaves are protective styles so that our "real hair" can grow. And white women wear weave more than everybody else they just call it "eXtEnTionS".
That’s why y’all treated the way you are that’s not a blueprint to success that’s why y’all failing
I'm watching this video, and I feel so sad, that I never realized this. I left a job where I was always cleaning up after everyone, to find myself in a similar place, but as I'm telling my husband he says, you have the power to say no to things you don't want. And I never do because perhaps, I've never felt that I could be more, or expect more from others than to push myself to death trying to impress people who clearly don't care if I fall down sick from stress, and will then turn around and shame me for not being strong enough to take it. Either way I'll be a replaceable number, so I may as well live my life.
Kevin Samuels is the last person a BW should listen to. A bitter man has no purpose in your life. Ladies purge these people. He uses statistics to validate a human. But I know GOD and GOD does not talk this way about US.
Where's the rolling eyes emoji when you need it...
I also want God's phone number, can I get it please?
You sound unmarried lol
Jouelzy out here aging backwards 😌😌💓
I could never take B. Simone serious after the plagiarism scandal and then the Danileigh stunt...and I’m sick and tired of people (especially men) feeling like Black women need their advice to be happy, successful or loved or whatever...it suggests something is wrong with us from the start and it needs to stop. And don’t get me started on those Obamas smh.
Good luck on your journey and don’t take into consideration what black men desire unlike us we try our best to give you guys what you desire as best as we can without complaint
What if there is something wrong ? What if the mindset is just a side effect of slavery ?
@@raphaelriley9736 What if there isn't though? And what about the BW who aren't direct descendants of slaves? There are many Black people in the U.S. and beyond who have diverse backgrounds. We can ask questions all day or we can treat each other with respect even if they're not someone we'd date/marry.
If she said what bolsters "how you feel" you wouldn't have a problem.
@@raphaelriley9736, we are in 2021!!!!! Let go of slavery!!!!! You were not a slave!!! Your 5th,6th grandparents were slaves and they were not a bitch about it!!!!! They worked with what they had and got us here and improved our lives. Stop using your ancestors’s tragedy as an excuse!!!
This is an excellent video. I've been thinking a lot about Black folks and our addiction to shame and using it to influence how we view ourselves and each other. Shame is relentlessly used across The Diaspora but it's definitely became a cottage industry that's morphed to the corporate level in the US.
I think the issue isn’t what she said, but more so her TONE. How can you expect people receive anything you’re saying when you’re coming at them like they are less than an ant is size.
There's such a thing as 'tough love', 'cold truth' among others. At the end of the day, grown adults should be smart enough to get the message and not care about thr messenger or how it is presented especially online.
My issue is anyone who attempts tp speak up about this seemingly cultural flaws in some of our women is automatically accused of bashing or shaming. How can we ever address the issues if the hive immediately label it shaming?
Exactly. It seems like anything that is said to address men's issues is automatically labeled "shaming" or "bashing" smh. Men have been walking on eggshells (which is an abusive position to be in) for 50 plus years. Men have grown tired of it which is why we see an influx of ppl addressing the issues women refuse to address. Men have grown sick of the constant "one way aggression" and "victim blaming" that women use to guilt trip men into the corner. Now that men backs are against the wall, there's going to be "push back" and women simply don't like it at all. Well, this is what happens when issues that really need to be addressed are continuously ignored. Women dont like it but this is what you asked for regsrdless if its knowingly or unknowingly. The vast majority of women have been thoroughly indoctrinated to the point where men's issues or our voice to be fully heard in this country has been muzzled, women have been trained to not see that and when it is brought up its brushed to the side with no significant importance compared to women issues. Women don't even realize that America is now driven by women, that's how deep the indoctrination is. Smh
She said not 1 thing wrong. As for her tone. We always getaway that ppl bash our culture and AAVE that's how our ppl talk. We are far too coddled. Your grandma nem...talk jesssst like that....
If it’s one thing I realize is that taking certain information from celebrities is not necessary. How does a woman who basically begged rappers to be her boyfriend now feel comfortable to tell another individual what they should do to find love. That”list” concept she’s trying to spew as her own is currently backfired on her where she may get sued by another writer. B Simone is a weak individual. I wouldn’t buy anything she’s selling cause I don’t trust nothing she says . I feel everything she said was about her . Black women is held to this perfect standard wheee our men are not. I feel her being of mixed race she feels too comfortable to speak so negatively on what black women should do and she’s damn annoying.
Facts!💯It’s like going to a farmer, to give you medical care for brain cancer. She needs to stay in her lane & ppl need to only seek advice from ppl who are specialized in said lane, or are actively living in said lifestyle! Per usual,
They lump all BW into one category.
@Darryl Bloominton which would also mean that black men have more kids out of wedlock than any other race- and with more races of women. The impetus to marry isn't and has never been in this society on the shoulders of it's women, smh. It's too funny how ya'll love to throw out and uphold these negative stereotypes about black women while ignoring and excusing the same in men. This is a huge part of the problem.
People will really get on social media and in comments just saying any old hateful thing they want to because it helps them justify their own brokenness. It's super unfortunate that it has to be this way, but hey-
@Darryl Bloominton how can black women have so many abortions yet still be the highest percentage of single mothers? Those two statements don't even correlate. It's the absolute lack of logic and rationality for me, lol. Just grasping at your lil hateful straws, regurgitating false rhetoric and looking for confrontation. Ok sir. Whatever you say. I hope you feel better. I'm good on this non conversation, lol. We do not have the same energy.
@Darryl Bloominton Always remember, data can be manipulated by the researcher to reflect the narrative that they want their study to reflect.
Whew putting words to feelings. I really need to join this book club because everything we have and are going through has been written down by a black thinker. And sometimes it’s so hard to find the words to explain this experience.
Agreed
Me too luv. Where do sign up?! LOL
There’s a difference between shaming and constructive criticism. Power to the people!
Nowhere on the internet can you find a white man saying women need to be a certain size to be valued. I want all women to always feel valued no matter what anyone says.. Its how you take care and love yourself will make others value you. This movement is designed to break down women so men with deflated ego can move in more easily on the younger women who normally would not find them attractive. They are going to continue the cycle of having babies and leaving these young women to raise these kids while these HV men move on to even younger women. Men protect your daughters and do not fall for this foolishness from divorced old men who are proud to say they have 3 PYT they are dating all at the same time. That is manipulation and brainwashing. Stay woke people especially the black people. See the truth for yourselves and trust in your Maker for all things
Lesson of the story: BW and esp BM who publicly humiliates BW LIVE IN THEIR TRAUMA AND DISPLACES THEIR ANGER ON THE WEAK and VULNERABLE. Jouelzy 👏🏾👏🏾
Nothing disqualifies anyone from love, we are all worthy!
Ha keep telling your ladies that
I'm glad you mentioned it being specific to African Americans. The constant criticism, talking down to, and jokes at the expense of black women is very unique to the black experience in America. I think it catches non- American blacks off guard when they come to the US and experience it.
My Aunt came to visit from the UK and on a shopping trip two young black men came up to her laughing and mimicking her walk. I had to be 6 years old. She's tall and skinny with wide hips and long legs. She turned to her sister and asked "What walk?" My little 6 yo self was so mad I didnt say anything to those men and mad that she experienced that on her 1st trip to the US.
Then growing up in the 90s & early 2000s as a dark skinned black girl in NYC, I was constantly ridiculed by some black boys about everything that was black & not black enough about me. I'll never forget the girls who defended me without knowing me.
When I went back to the West Indies for HS, I braced myself for similar treatment. It didn't happen. My natural hair wasnt a problem, I wasn't made fun of for having dark skin, I wasn't too skinny.
On my summer visits back to the US, I would go back to the silk presses, layering clothes to appear thiccer, and pulling out the name brand gear. Such a waste of time and money.
Fast forward to a day in my early 20s, I saw someone respond to a question on a hair forum about the type of woman that attracts "prized" men. Someone else simply asked what exactly made (insert name of random black male entertainer) a prize. Whew! I was blind but now I see. It took a lot of unlearning but divesting from trying to shape shift into the ideals of a certain segment of black men in this country is truly a blessing. I can honestly say I do not care anymore and I feel genuinely sorry for the women that do. ❤
@Robert Hicks lol! Hit dogs will holler! Telling someone that they did not experience things the way it happened, is called gaslighting. Do better!
@Robert Hicks Exactly! The same with Houston. It is annoying seeing how many Africans, Caribbeans, and Asians specifically move and open businesses in our neighborhoods, just to turn around and insult us then play victim. I can tell plenty stories about them harming AA women and talking about us, but I'll share about the only Black man I've ever been with whose family made me feel unwelcome. He was Jamaican and we were together for years. The women in his family did not want him marrying an AA woman at all, but gladly accepted the White and Mexican girls his cousins married and impregnated. They loved the White man one daughter married, but was angry at her sister for dating a Black man she met at her accounting job because he wasn't good enough being from Compton and all as if they didn't leave their country because of violence. People really try to mask their anti-AA comments, but it's always some elitism.
symone...I hear you all but cut the crap...the Caribbean is the same. just listen to the music.
@Shay...as a Jamaican, you are correct. They are looking for reasons to hate Black Americans because whites and Blacks have a history and they want whites to like them and differentiate. Stop patronizing them. This is your country . Dont let these people come here and 'pop style's on you...when their homelands and countries are dusty as hell. I've been in both regions.
They’re always complaining about black women being too masculine but we wouldn’t have to be like that if we need to fight and defend ourselves every single day. Kevin Samuels in my opinion is making things worse for bw. By degrading women you’re not helping the situation. So yeahh it is in our nature to bite back. If you don’t like that, then that’s on you. We’ve got options.
This past week alone let's me know that we can't win no matter what we do, so I'll do what makes me happy.
The Sbg book club has widened my perspective on many things. Listening to your content expands my vocabulary. Love this channel!
And its soooo accesible
That's so good to hear!!
@@jouelzy You Are Delusional...
We allow Black males to rise above their “shortcomings” and Black women have to be ok living with the results of their “shortcomings.”
Edit: punctuation, typo, capitalization of Black.
@@habituallinestepper3927 you mean the children that y’all left? It’s Cause and Effect, hun. Not just, Effect.
I’ve never ever seen people especially black women allow black men to rise above their short comings. I mean if the guy is literally short he can’t even make it past that “short coming” for a Black woman to give him a chance 😂.
The only men that get a pass is a guy who is highly and VERY SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE! He can have no car, no money, no job, plenty kids, plenty baby mamas, no goals and no ambition but because he is sexually attractive or appears that he can give you a orgasm, his short comings become none existent.
ALL BLACK MEN HAVE SEEN THIS IN REAL TIME LADIES. I’ve seen also where our manager was disrespected all because he was fat and unattractive. They hired a tall guy who was attractive and looked like he worked out all day and he was given respect choosing eyes off top, never mind the fact he got fired within 3 months because he didn’t know his job 😂 .
Black men and Black women could come together as one but women really need to be honest about how you guys actually operate in real time. You guys only go with the flow if the situation is attractive. Men don’t get this luxury. We won’t even talk about if his 🍆 is small. He won’t even exist with women. Women can become at least decent looking with the amount of products on the line for y’all. A man, a bread can’t even save an ugly face 😂.
I LOVE MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN BUT BE REAL ABOUT HOW YOU GUYS GENUINELY ARE ❤️!
here we go again...
@Tiffany Mills if I wasn’t black I would sit this one out. This is one of those truths that gets swept under the rug. Ain’t no fat butt ugly short men out here using women like that especially sexually. I’ve never heard of Danny Devito out here beating the women off of him 😂. I get where you are coming from but still. I’ll sit this one out but when do we talk about this one???
@Tiffany Mills I must add this, I don’t reply out of anger. We have too much of this within our community already. I discuss in love because I will not hate my sista ❤️
That guy watched “The Ugly Truth” & is trying to be like Gerard Butler.
I'm late finding this video, however what you discussed regarding shaming and degrading black women is super prevalent today!!
Kevin Samuel and his toxic narcissistic stew needs to go away. I feel sorry for the women that don't seem to know that you don't look to people like that for validation or advice.
They call in in hopes of landing a successful man if they listen to his advice, but as someone with a successful husband, none of his advice means crap within the real world. As a image consultant, he works with six figure men who are shallow and have issues finding partners. He thinks his niche clientele in Atlanta of all places translate to the entire country smh.
Stop watching him.
She’s probably not actually watching his content, but he’s often the source of conversation as of lately across many channels such as this one. So, even if she DIDN’T watch him, someone who she does would bring up him & his likeness for commentary. I get where she is coming from.
Yes! I had to stop going on his channel about 6 months ago due to all the negativity effecting my mental health, JUST for him to blow up and go viral.🙄🙄
@@Rosierose902 Same! I stopped watching in October because he became vile. Then in December he gained a huge following off his nastiness.
The politics of Shame is something that is so integral to American society. The whole American ethos is built on individuality and saying that you are not doing enough, you are not enough, and you should feel bad but that simply is a very shallow view on how we understand multifaceted structural problems/ inequalities.
Wow! I was just saying I need to get into therapy, get a man, get a new mindset a new hobby etc etc. I see now it’s a Trend even to push BW into therapy, the gym, veganism, to have sex, not to have sex.
Whew!
@@madipage8316 and whats wrong with that? So working on your self is bad got it.
Keep believing like that and keep failing. Failing is your choice. Shaming your for failing to engage basic responsibly as women is societies choice. No one is required to pretend so you can feel good about yourself. That is white Liberal, feminist nonsense.
@B Pedersen Western women really have no clue how fortunate they are. Kevin Samuels said it: You can only be a feminist if you live in the West. Anywhere else and you'd get smacked down real quick.
@@actionjackson1173 there are feminists in many parts of the world where women are oppressed that fight for women’s right. Just because you don’t here about those movements don’t mean they don’t exist.
I agree, I and my little brother were disgusted on how the black comedy scene were black men( famous or upcoming) make fun of black women by making fun of them, while they hurt their looks and personality ...like why can't the black men make fun of black women without shaming them or ridiculing them🤪...I saw this Nigerian comedian making skits of himself as a woman. The character he portrays as had an overexaggared "fupa" area ...like seriously 🤦🏿♀️...and they manner in which the mannerisms are portrayed hurts me😥...yeah it's funny but like .....coz to be honest their women who do have mascular features than average men, and who have facial hairs, beard etc ..but that's not funny is it🙄.....
I think bieng a man I’m happy to say I’m not shielded by criticism and have to face my reality constantly that’s the best position to be in in these crazy days
Someone made a tone deaf comment:
“Everyone doesn’t deserve love; they must be worth the love the receive.” So damaged ppl, whether they are actively working or not to fix themselves from their trauma, don’t deserve love? So ppl only deserve love once they’ve been “fixed or perfected?” Completely negating the fact that if we operated by this standard, then majority of black men & black women don’t deserve love or respect bc 90% of our community is dysfunctional and an overwhelming majority of black ppl REFUSE to even seek therapy....There are quite a few
Ppl in these comments who are still shaming black women/black ppl while covering it up under politically correct verbiage....
This comment broke me down. My fiancé left me I guess bcuz I became difficult to deal with. I’m struggling with depression etc. He wanted me
To change that ASAP. I’m now in therapy and on antidepressants but I accepted him for his issues. I’m doing the work but it’s not enough. So that is telling me in a sense that’s telling me no I wasn’t worth the effort while I’m actively doing the work or not.
Thank you!!!! We agree to our own demise all the time.. just to be in competition for nothin
@@bornwithclass2365 quick question, did you seek therapy while you were in the relationship with him?
@Alien Weaver who hurt you??
Jouelzy this video was exceptional!! I saw the video of B.Simone and was instantly annoyed, but could verbalize why, but you hit the nail on the head! This really is making me self reflect.
B simone was speakin facts on women who want that 6 figure guy...cant get upset..this is a fact..either get with it or look elsewhere. Obviously every other rave of people aint lookin to wife Black women...they jus use yall for sex🤷🏿♂️
@@soufdallas1443 No she was not. She was projecting! By the way, her man lost his child's mother in an accident not too long before they got together. He is most likely not healed. Is that something we should aspire to?
Yes!! She verbalized it so well. While what B. Simone she said was very practical and common sense, it was the tone for me. Of course the guys jumped on it because it stoked their ego and benefit them in they way she delivered it.
@@iamlaurengill well all these 35 year old single mothers and up women still single lookin for the 6 figure guy and will NEVER GET HIM because he has options. This is a fact. Im not makin this ish up
Souf Dallas same thing goes for black men. they’re only wanted for those biracial kids.
This was the best audible sponsorship/ad I’ve ever seen lol
This was EXCELLENT. And I plan to go forward unpacking some of the things that I have learned and unlearning them.
Kevin Samuel’s refuses to start his lives without an influx of “super chats” and his minions don’t get that he’s playing them... he is cashing in on shaming bk women and their falling for it...
I used to watch him for a few months. His content has changed a lot, especially after he went viral. His advice was hit or miss, but after popularity, it became just a crap show. He says what he knows losers tuned into see, which is misogynoir/women often out their league being put in their place and shamed into lowering their standards to men with less than half of their achievements. These women would be better off going to a therapist, because why on Earth would you call a disgusting person for advice? No matter the who the woman is, he moves the goal post. She can be young, pretty, childless and have her head on her shoulders, and he still will complain that wanting a man on her income level is too much.
@@19Hollisterchick90 he has a clear agenda... it’s shaming women for views and profit! You would think that he’s god the way he talks his subjective, shallow and childish perspective no real depth or insight... any person working in mental health, knows to build people up and not knock them down! What he’s doing is definitely at detriment to bk women..
@@19Hollisterchick90 So telling Women the truth is considered "shaming" now? Lol you women lack so much accountability it's tragic.
@@infotech6075 You're going to reply to every comment I make here, huh? Yeah, you're definitely his target audience...yikes.
@@19Hollisterchick90 so what is KS saying that's wrong?
We miss your insight! This video is right on time
Equal does not mean identical. Sometimes "equally yolked" means that you balance one another out.
Exactly
I needed to see this jouelzy...this was the content palette cleanser i needed. This video was such an important reminder to always remember to be a critical consumer of media. Thank you soooo much for making this!!
How are we the mothers of the earth but also the butt of every joke?
Its so bad to the point that this white guy on another channel said "I honestly don't know why any woman especially bw still. Call into ks show, when he clearly dosent have their best interest".. As a bw I was so embarrassed to hear him say that but I couldn't be mad because it was true..
Update: a lot of the comments under my posts yet many are missing the point..its bad because as an outsider he literally can see the desperation and "pick me women" as he call them within the community..if the outsiders can see then y are the insiders still blind? Y are we as black people obsessed with humbling bw?
Oh yeah. I have been noticing for a while now that other races are very aware of this gender war in the black community. Of black male hatred for black women especially.
Yeah it’s getting really embarrassing because now other races are commenting on it. I’ve been seeing seeing YT men make reaction videos and I’m like “are they really making money off of OUR business???” 😂😂😂
@@a.d.w8385 so it’s only one sided huh ❓❓
Imagine thinking your oppressors weren't already aware of this and are part of the ossue
@@ftrobot5536 that part..
The feminine urge to ask if that makes sense. Sis finished a video essay that Michelle Obama could've read at a press conference. And then asked if it made sense 😂😂 no sis, it's BIBLE .
You just gained a follower. The way you laid this argument out was amazing. I could listen to you talk all day.
This hits. Every thing under the umbrella of Black Womaness had been happening to me, for a while now due to trying to exist in new tech spaces that lack black people, let alone black woman. There is this unspoken trepidation as if you can’t fully emote or articulate your insight due to misrepresenting the whole class of Black Women who will come up under you. Coupled with the judgement from those who feel like “If it was me I’d -“ as if I don’t already have eyes on me.
I told someone recently that black woman have to essentially live in a space of purgatory due to society telling us to be/strive for more but take the scrapes they give us without critique. Men like Kevin Samuels literally sicken me, and aid in why women like Paige (Married at First Sight ) would be with a man like Chris. The cycle of shame is unsubstantiated when you unpack the root of it, in its entirety. Yet, it’s holding us back on so many facets subconsciously that it would really would take some time to unlearn. I love this video. Great take.
Can I just say how cool it is that you work in tech? I’m not tech savvy myself but have immense admiration for black women in STEM. You guys are so essential, and you deserve all the roses 🌹
Totally agree. Especially with feeling I have a great responsibility to always be on my best behavior to not disgrace the image of black women.
Smart young lady! Spot on analysis! Kudos!
Spot on.
when you mentioned how bw have to live in a space of limbo/purgatory, I actually teared up. as a black teenage girl, I’m so afraid of heading out into the world and dealing with this shit and being called “bitter” and literally every misogynistic insult in the book. im scared to actually live, because bw have always been made to feel like we don’t deserve to
The fact that B.Simone even HAS a platform says alot to me. Sis is BEYOND corny to me... i'm goodT
Swear to God
I agree with B Simone , there are a lot of black women who have nothing but want everything. She could have be. Nicer but everything she said was true. I am a black woman that has been married for 29!years. Get your career, then get married and have the children with your husband. That is how I did it and so did my parents. That is me in the luv with my husband. .
@@kelseychester2181 I know several couples who have been married for 30 plus years. Wives had good careers, some better than their husbands; husbands with good jobs and they have raised their families, not that it was a cake walk. Now at their retirement age, they HATE each other. There is no connection but they've decided to stay together because they are invested in each other for over 30 years. There is NO STANDARD in what will make you stay in love or together. Agreeing with these unqualified vloggers, that have little to no education in social science or the human being in any aspect of our existence, is dumb at any age. Your experience is not and will not be that of other women. Your husband may actually be a good man. He does not account for the abusers, users and wanna be playboys that many other women have had to encounter. A person with a good job does not equate to a good person or a loving relationship. Most vloggers opinions on relationships, including those like S. Harvey, whose relationship with his spouse is like anyone else's, are based in fantasy, not reality and best when taken with the lightest grain of salt.
Great content! I am glad to hear someone talk about this. I know this ideology would need more of a deep dive, but speaking superficially, it is interesting to see how black women accept this and promote it. I have listened to other self-help/dating gurus for other ethnicities, and their approach is very different. They do not put their women down or saying that their women need to be held accountable, humbled, etc. They just share the information and allow the listener to decide if an adjustment is needed. "We" buy "you are the problem" lock, stock, and barrel. It is sad, really. My prayer is to "make black people critically think again."
Patriarchy sees no gender! It’s so disappointing see Black women participate in this.
B Simone(not sure of how she spells her name) basically is saying become what you want in a partner, basically what you are will attract the same energy you give out, so become what it is you're looking for 🌟
I don’t know if B. Simone is genuine. Her whole video was hands and nails.
Why did y’all cackle at this truth!!!!
So true I was screaming 🤣🤣
Black women are constantly being told what they should be doing but other women of other races don't have to live up to a certain standard . Other blk women who I find are single are constantly spewing their nonsense of what other blk women should be
She was acting, like the scam artist pigeon she is.
😂🤣
Isn’t b. Simone the same woman that doesn’t speak to her mom ?? Smh ... this shamming black women to sell their tacky products is upsetting me and my home girls ..
i think she was talking about her struggles honestly. i think basically she was saying we need to be equally yoked but when did B Simone say BLACK WOMEN. can you show me the time stamp?
@@amberaishaa We all know black women is b simone’s main audience cmon. What other demographic is really paying attention to her?
So what her mama got to do with anything if a person is toxic you have a choice to deal with them or not
@@katinabracken9829 Go back and listen to B. Simones rant. She clearly states, “you want him to be a family man but you don’t talk to your mama.”
@@Alexandtheworld919 probably more then black women listen to her.
Im Rwandan (East Africa), the American diaspora (DOS) has it rough, you are perceived as one monolithic community, which means that the shame of one is the shame of all. Whereas in Africa, shame is applied to first the individual, then his ethnicity, then his nationality, and last (rarely) to all of Africans. When a white British citizen immigrates to the US, they are easily assimilated into the white community, they are still slightly foreign, but integrated in all the ways that matter. That's what happens to Black Americans when they go back to any country on the motherland. You will be exotic but still part of the majority, letting you be just an individual, not a representative of your race/community with all that entails
Loved every single word you said👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I have always felt shamed by other black people. I was either "acting white" spoke too proper or i wasn't"black enough" because i i didn't talk in Ebonics.
Same
Have to know there will always be people against and for a particular cause but you can't shade everyone the same , it's like someone allowed for rights, it had to be someone's heart to not let that continue on as a stairs quo, people can't compare what they don't have to what they do have at this point. There are so many opportunities in this country, you have to unite. And build instead of worrying about stuff that will not stop. As long there are people some will unite and some will divide. It's like being a demo. and repub. They are both working together and taking our money but yet. People still vote. For some sense of hope. The real change is in the local and state govt. Think about this.
Seriously, I've been called a "fake-ass black girl" because of how I speak and act.
I agree, it's sad when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere. Too white for your own community, to black anywhere else. I am naturally an extroverted person but I have become so intervened because of it. I remember an instance where I went to see a favorite visual artist of mine who was a Latina, she acted as if I couldn't like or appreciate her work because she was a Latina. She then went on the refer me to a black artist. That's a good example. That interaction will always stick with me and I hate that.
Been there
Jouelzy, time and time again you provide thought provoking content. You made a lot of sense, and have given me the term 'shame marketing'. Also, I too listened to that episode of the Daily and immediately thought of reconstruction. Thank you for the video.
Black women being held accountable is deemed shaming. Yet, bw wonder why they are the least married. 😂😂😂😂 🐱🍷
It's not shaming when black women are entering into spaces created for black men and asking what they want and they choose to reject the answer. It's not shaming, it's an undesirable answer. The women how are raised to be wives will get married, the rest will stay in the streets. The change you seek starts in your home, then it affects the community, then the city, then the state. Change you first.
B. Simone look like she need to fix herself before she keep making videos trying to tell other black women about fixing themselves.
when did she said black women? can you tell me the time stamp pleaseee!
@@amberaishaa who else do you think she's talking to?
@@floriaabney3146 What!! you know by saying that you are unconsciously saying that you know black women have problems right.. fix your attitude.
@@headmaster6261 Ummm...did you look at the title of the video. The topic is on the shaming of black women. This is an ongoing dialogue on black TH-cam right now with the so-called high-value man discussion circulating around black social media which I'm sure you know. So let's not play dumb or perhaps you think you're being smart with your comment. You know damn well B. Simone, a black woman, ain't out here trying to check no other group of women about nothing. You know just like I, Jouelzy, and all the other black people that dragged her ass that she's directing her comments to black women. Lastly, I know black PEOPLE have some problems - both male and female.
@@floriaabney3146 so you think a majority will shame without reason in doing so. if they said a lot of black men have are violent i can agree because it's what is shown and portrayed. can you also agree a lot of black women are angry. our community can only be washed if are problems are highlighted & we take accountability.
I'm sure your following is mostly women, but I highly doubt the men that do follow you are avid KS fans, so it's beyond telling that you have a few male, KS fans in the comment section. It goes to show that these guys seriously look for titles with "Black women" just to bash. The same is done for any video with "Single mother" in the title. That's why I tell people that high value and alpha male content is not created for high value or alpha males. It's created for men who are unlucky in love and have a huge chip on their shoulders from past rejection and failed relationships. Same with high value female content. These people deserve one another.
Yet I see the narrative still being hammered home based on “I feel”. What’s the problem with KS again?
@@cdcroc KS holds that mirror up and they hate it 😂😂😂
lol and here they are in the comments....you cant make this shit up
@@PassTheCollectionPlate What mirror? I'm the wife of a high value man lol.
@@yendaaaa They're just bored and unproductive, so they try to rile women up to get some excitement in life. Then they wonder why they're in the predicaments they're in.
Yes I agree, KS’s content is very disgusting. I watched one of his videos once and I would never watch him again. I don’t know how decent people can listen to the venom he spews toward his own.
please, also as black women we need to stop asking if we're making sense! this was so well done and made perfect sense and u should know that and own it:)
Imagine saying only the fit, beautiful and wealthy deserve love, AND MEANING IT. Not many seem to understand why that’s so problematic. But maybe I’ll just say it’s shallow as hell.
@@AdrianAquarius talk about walking in doodoo and messing up the carpets. Yikes.
Jaren C You're absolutely right
@@AdrianAquarius the amazon guy just married a 51 yr old single mom. Lets be honest blk men need to stop speaking on high value men bc you dont know what they want. Most blk men with money are hitting the wall as well bc nobody wants their plethora of children. Same for blk men in the community.
But yall the same woman that be like I can't date a man thats broke or make less money than him. That's not problematic. These the same woman who are baby mommas to multiple men. But want the world.
@@charlespinkett864 So women are just supposed to settle because they have children? I don't understand what it is that you want black women to do? Just accept struggle love.
A very important message. I’m so sick of seeing the constant shaming and degradation of the black community overall and black women take the bunt of it.
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