Aubry is attractive because she's confident in her awkwardness. She does weird and off putting things, but every time she is being authentically herself, which is confident and hot.
@@TheConservativeCrusader yes, it's the halo effect. You can be a hardened criminal and still be treated better than most by society if you are very attractive e.g. Jeremy Meeks. The beauty bias is ridiculous and it's so ingrained in our psyche that it's hardly a subject of debate.
Yeah but sometimes you can't find that confidence. I used to feel extremely confident in most situations and I know how it feels, youre not even thinking about what people think, you just are. But lately ideas about myself and my life choices have been eating me up and suddenly I question anything I do and say. No matter how hard I try I dont know where that confidence is anymore. It changed for me. :/ 🤷♀️
I think confidence can be a choice. I think you can choose to do something like this, and when it succeeds, it becomes confidence. And I try my best to shrug it off if something embarrassing happens.
@@yael123gut because you change. You are starting to care about what people think about you. Or worse you are starting to lose confidence in yourself because of who and what kind of person you are.
That's kinda me. I'm awkward and even quite blunt but one day a friend just told me out of the blue that she really loves how mysterious I can keep myself lol I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about but thanks. :D
It’s not that difficult to seem attractive with your awkwardness when you’re already physically attractive to start with. The reason most people can’t own up to their awkwardness is because they are socially awkward and have low self esteem. Like me
sunkenship self confidence is very attractive and also very easy to fake. Just pretend like you think you’re pretty great. Even try to play a character, or act in a persona, that is great. People literally can’t tell the difference between ironic acting and genuine self confidence.
People keep saying that, but you ever see Back to the Future 2? My wife says George McFly is good-looking, but his awkwardness overwhelms it most of the time. Similarly, Loraine Bates is physically attractive, but the fact that she constantly talks as if she's out of breath is annoying as heck. The right amount of awkwardness can ruin physical attraction, and the right amount of confidence and charisma can overcome a total lack of physical attraction.
@@nicobones9608 agreed. For instance I honestly don't find Aubrey Plaza that physically attractive, she is just pretty average imho (everyone who can afford professional stylists, stylish clothes and quality beauty products look decent). But the way she handles her awkwardness is really cool and makes her attractive as a personality.
Also worth noting, Aubrey Plaza is an improve and sketch comedian who worked with UCB. So not only is she naturally attractive, she is also very quick witted and has excellent comedic timing. This isn’t something everyone just has.
She really owns it and honestly she's more relatable than most celebs. Not to mention she's hot af, that makes it even more appealing to see someone so attractive own her awkwardness.
This is an excellent analysis of Aubrey Plaza's style. I introduced a friend to her last week by way of these talk show appearances. He remarked on how her awkwardness and lack of matching facial expression was what made her funny. I had never thought of it--I just loved her affect. I love the way you break it down. One thought, though: "awkward" salute to the fellow guest on Letterman occurred because that other guest appears to be Howie Mandel, who is germaphobic. She probablv was told backstage not to trv to shake hands with him.
i love how the video pretends she has a problem with her "awkwardness" and tried do "get better" and "not make social mistakes" she is just awkwards and is ok with that, she always seems very comfortable with that
1:03 - 1A: Introduce yourself with some form of physical touch. 1:19 - 1B: Call out awkward moments when they happen. 2:27 - 2A: Lean into the awkwardness even further. 3:09 - 2B: Call out when you see someone making these social mistakes. 3:59 - 3: Add a sentence to your one word answer. 5:03 - 4A: Flat deliveries work best when what you are saying is outlandish. 5:25 - 4B: Laugh at yourself or simply explain yourself. 6:34 - 5: Introduce a “hard pivot”- Do/say something even more awkward than the situation itself.
Tired of seeing “It’s because she’s attractive.” No. She’s comfortable with being awkward, not self conscious about it. When you own your own perceived insecurities, the energy shifts. When you’re free with yourself, you make other people feel like they are in a “no judgement” environment. I know a bunch of not traditionally attractive people who are awkward, and I love them because they are their own person. All of you are so bitter, maybe that’s your problem.
Right, James Corden isn't the hunkiest guy in the world but the CoC video explains well why he's popular. Being good-looking is an advantage without question, but less good-looking people can succeed if they're personality is good. A "beautiful soul" as it were is appreciated.
Nope, pronouns don’t bother me. And idk what generation you’re from but y’all need to step it up because the constantly offended, whiny baby snowflake safe space stuff is tired. However, People projecting their own insecurities is annoying
Some NOTES here: 1. NOT FOLLOWING OBVIOUS SOCIAL PROTOCOLS: Introduce yourself with some form of physical touch. 2. ACTING FLUSTERED OR UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THINGS GET AWKWARD: Call out and lean into the awkward situation you are in. 3. ANSWER WITH SOMETHING SHORT: Add a sentence to your one word answered, It carries the conversation forward. 4. NOT MATCHING YOUR EXPRESSION WITH YOUR WORDS: Make it flat delivery, laugh at yourself or just explain yourself. 5. GETTING CAUGHT IN AN AWKWARD SILENCE: Introduce a hard pivot. As always my crazy passion is to share summaries like started doing it on my channel with PDF summaries.✌ Lets get less awkward now 😀
@@MystmaxkinnTV Safety Not Guaranteed, The Little Hours, Ingrid Goes West, the FX series Legion, Black Bear, Emily the Criminal, and the HBO series The White Lotus are some of the must watch.
Craig Ferguson, Stephen Colbert, and Conan (to name a few) actually thrive in that awkwardness (as do I). It doesn't work with everyone, but a good awkward moment can build a connection almost like 'survivor bonds' (although more comedic, which is better - no real trauma). The trick is knowing with whom and when to create one, and when to just lean all the way in... :)
@@jakerittlinger440 @6:40 "the hard pivot: take the conversation in a brand new direction or throw in something completely random" I agree with the comment: it's not a subject change: it's still on the same topic. It's an exaggeration or overcompensation of what Conan wanted to hear. She was saying "no..no you're not blegh to me...i love you.. marry me"
That depends *a lot* on the relative (social) status (if you will) between the two persons. For instance, if you are considered a dork, one of the cool kids will never relate to your awkwardness, even if they act the same between their friends.
I'd just like to add that sometimes when a person gives a short answer to a question or doesn't participate in small talk it's because THEY DON'T WANT TO. More people (extroverts) need to pick up on subtle cues that someone is trying to be polite while also trying to avoid getting into a conversation. I have this happen all the time and it's not because I'm awkward or don't understand social cues, it's because other people either don't understand or don't care about the cues I'm sending. The examples here are from interviews where having a conversation is the point, but the advice given here doesn't apply in every situation.
As a young autistic male I can confirm that confidence is key. Stay true to who you are and people will be forced to accept it if they care about you enough. Excellent tips, people ask me all the time why I’m different and I never know what to say or how to explain it besides the fact that I had good people supporting me growing up. Now I can reference this video as a learning opportunity for anyone interested in why my brain works the way it does
Me : Hey Someone : Hey Me : How are you Someone : Good Me : *get well soon* *awkward silence* *immediately starts thinking that I should go back to my cave*
Well at least u haven't said "i love you" to a person who aint your friend/family like I did with the local pizza shop. I still haven't called them back in 3 months.
"Having a good summer so far?" "Yes, so many penises." ... why did you cut that off there? we might probably actually learn something about avoiding awkwardness by seeing how Conan responded to that.
At first he said "okay" and let the joke linger for a moment. Then he said "okay, I'm just gonna ask you. I'm gonna go there. 'So many penises' - what's happening?" so she could elaborate. Which was her plan all along, of course. She does that a lot - says something awkward/weird to get people's attention, make them curious about the context, then elaborates on it. Clever trick, really.
YES THANK YOU i hate how everyone keeps saying that its because she's attractive and whatever. obviously being good looking is something that always helps but you can't just invalidate someone's abilities because "sHeS jUsT aTtrAcTivE"
It's both. But it's mostly her authenticity. Conan is pretty funny, but his comedy is so forced that he is constantly awkward which causes him to make fun of himself the whole time. Aubrey is the perfect opposite. She just doesn't give a f*ck yet she also blends with her environment. She says, "murder, death; I'll kill you" yet one gets the sense that she can be trusted.
I think also it's bc she gets nervous during interviews. One time she said she doesn't like interviews bc they ask you the questions before hand so you're basically having the convo twice
Something that I really admire about this channel is how you somehow manage to incorporate good quality content/concepts into trending topics. Very creative and great work.
Aubrey has awkward moments because alongside her improv/theater/comedy background it's also a natural part of her, especially in public settings. She also experiences social anxiety, which was likely brought on by or amplified by the stroke she had at age 20. It's a combination of many factors that make her have her own unique thing. Trying to emulate her exactly won't make someone else be like her, but this is a good overview. And at the end of the day other awkward people can see parts of themselves reflected and feel better about existing like themselves.
the way you showed a clip of her purposefully not shaking howies hand even though that makes absolute sense of her to do for him and was actually a very considerate thing handled by both of them in a comedic fashion
For the viewers with no experience of being hopelessly awkward saying shes playing a character, do you know how exhausting that would be? This is just a part of her personality, I appreciate that she goes against the norm and isn't afraid to make people cringe for not answering the way shes expected to. Its unnatural to react the way most celebs do (laughing constantly) but its okay, they got the job done and you adore them and the stories they rehearsed. A couple shots and poof! "How to turn anxiety into charisma, Alcohol." (they are called actors for a reason) Aubreys responses are more natural to me, then some other celebs I've seen.
Thank you, I am autistic and so I relate to her A LOT (while I don't think she is autistic, I do think that her stroke may have had some similar effects on her) and at the same time, I think because I am autistic and exactly awkward and weird like she is, I can tell she's not just playing a character... if not for my social anxiety, I'd absolutely be a less-attractive male Aubrey Plaza, and that's why I love her. :)
i will say that from my experience its the people who fit social norms and make fewer mistakes who are more often, more likely, to be "playing characters"
I'm highly skeptical that any celeb is 100% themself during a publicity interview. Especially when it's being recorded in front of a live audience. It's not a normal casual conversation, it's a performance. And I do have plenty of experience of being socially awkward.
She doesn't have a camera on her 24/7... We only see her when she is performing.. While yes she has a deadpan personality in general , a lot of it is her "act" now..
Something very important seems to be left out of this video: Aubrey Plaza has fun with the awkwardness. Sometimes she intentionally does awkward things for the fun of it, and fun has an infectious quality to it Aubrey Plaza is my spirit animal
She helped create her April Ludgate character actually, including the character's nature and role in the story. She based much of her character's way of talking on her sister really. Even April and Andy getting together was her idea.
As a British person, self deprecating humour comes pretty naturally to me, so I learned pretty early in life that it's always better to lean into the awkwardness as much as possible. Laughing at yourself and saying "well that went down like a lead balloon" or "yeah that sounded way funnier in my head" can usually get a smile or a laugh even when your first attempt at humour has fallen flat. It's only when you go quiet or try to backtrack that the awkwardness really starts to look bad. If you lean into it you can still appear confident and in command of the situation even though you just kinda messed up.
I def agree about calling out the awkwardness I emit sometimes lol. I do this all the time. Whenever I'm awkward I NEVER hide it. People find my honesty quite endearing and it's an easy icebreaker as well.
Thanks. This one's actually useful as a girl on the autism spectrum. I'm probably similar to how Aubrey comes across in these interviews. Some people are into it somehow! I just gotta capitalize on what I can do. lol
I find it weird how he’s explaining that she’s owning her awkwardness and being funny with it and you just reduce it down to her looks. I think being funny trumps looks in my opinion and she’s just the funny kind of awkward.
Thank you. This kind of info is absolutely invaluable for people on the spectrum. Because neurotypicals feel incredibly awkward even talking about it, as they are things 'everybody knows' or should already know. Except autists. And why we have such a hard time learning them.
This is all bs. Try doing all this when you're an fat ugly guy lol. Every video he puts out focus on Hollywood types that are generally super attractive. Oh look Chris Hemsworth is using his body language and utilising these social clues blah blah blah
@@hankjones7054 yeah, how dare he doesn't use some fat ugly guys for his videos and be responsible for your doom. dude, time to get back into reality. Work on yourself both physiological and psychological. You're not getting anywhere by blaming others for your own weaknesses.
@@gerdhagen so you don't agree that physical appearance makes a difference in social situations? It would be better if he used normal people instead of the richest, most attractive and famous people in the world (who are probably media trained) and said 'look how confident they are!' Or he could use politicians, military leaders, journalists etc. People who don't look like a million dollars but whose confidence is about all about inner character. I don't expect this channel to fix me, but I do expect some actual useful tips that anyone can utilise - which surely is the whole point of the channel.
GREAT VIDEO! Thank you! Back in 2000 I went to see an artist Singer/ Songwriter perform unplugged . (He has a large following being a Lead guitar player in a very popular band that started in 1980). My point is... He used confusion as part of his performance. It was amazing. People LOVED it. It was so unique and at times I wondered if he confued and disoriented on purpose. (He was doing it as part of his "show") but did NOT detracked from the beautiful music he created and the great storytelling. He is a master of doing this. Like... Not knowing what song to play, Lookng to the sky for guidance, asking the audience for help remembering lyrics. It was a great way to draw people in and break the ice. It's very hard to do and be authentic at the same time. This guy did it. It truly was amazing!
I'm a woman with aspergers and she is SO useful to me as an example of how to behave when awkwardness happens (because it inevitably happens), I actually wanted and even suggested you do an analysis of her so I'm glad to see it finally happen
I have ASD, and that one point about the second sentence helped to me to fake normal ever since I was 14 or so. Any time someone asks you a question, after answering the question (especially if it's a short answer), add a related comment about whatever topic they asked you about. Extra points if it serves as a segway for them to talk more. It's like playing hot potato with no hands, you can learn to bat the thing away with your stubs, and hopefully the other people will keep it busy for a while. I keep noticing that following up a question with a return question is GOLD if you can get the other person wrapped up answering it, but I haven't been that good at executing that one... the questions always seem interrogative, poorly timed, inappropriate, etc... At 33 years old I've given up on that one.
I've been both very attractive, and unattractive in my life. And I can tell you from experience that physical attraction is pretty much everything. When you're physically attractive, you get treated much better with minimum to no effort. When you're unattractive, people will be less nice to you. People have to warm up to you, to see the good things about you before they start treating you better.
Make a video please how to talk to someone who creates awkward silences. As in with shy people. I sometimes struggle to make connections with people like that. Your community might know a few tricks already, but that doesn‘t help if the other party isn‘t able to manage a conversation themselves. I think it would really benefit your viewers.
I think her whole "awkward persona" is an act, it doesnt seem genuine to me. She is after all comedian/actress. I wonder if she is like that in her private life, not just for the cameras.
thank you so much for clarifying this awkwardness topic and huge kudos for using Aubrey as an exemple, I spend so much time watching her interviews trying to catch something I can use for myself. I really relate to her, thank you very much
Watching this made me realize my problem is the short answers and lack of expression but I think it developed from never being asked about myself or had the ability to practice expression as a child plus always getting ignored so I just be quiet through life by default except with family and close friends already.
Yeah, developing and learning being social is important in my opinion too! Some do it naturally as kids (I'm jealous lol) and some learn it later (like me), i was adopted by a kind friend-group a few years ago and I got good or at least better at socializing ever since.
i think its interesting to examine the psychology behind why people come across as charismatic. however, i think the key thing missing from such an exercise is understanding that above all her awkwardness comes across as authentic, its not gonna land if its forced. you gotta cultivate your authentic self above all else.
Yeah I feel extremely uncomfortable/awkward when someone says something with a straight face & waits for my reaction & I have no idea how I’m supposed to react to what they said 😣
Hey just wanted to say that I loved this video. Aubrey Plaza is sort of a charisma role-model for me since I'm naturally awkward. I already do a few of the tips listed but there were others I'm not consistently using.
For me personally, when I'm feeling too uncomfortable around someone to not be awkward, it's because I simply do not want to be talking to that person. Which unfortunately tends to apply to most people I don't know due to years of emotional abuse and subsequent social defeat. Being likeable starts with having the energy to be outwardly expressive. If you can't muster that, then you will always be uncomfortable to be around regardless of how many of these tips you learn. If you already have the compulsion to engage with other people however, especially strangers, these can be very useful.
@@briannab4037 Asinine, but true. As much as people like CoC hate to admit it, looks count for like 80% of your "social skills", even with people who claim to be searching for "inner beauty". Most people decide whether they like you or not within the first few seconds, and that just doesn´t give you enough time to dazzle them with impressive phrases or intellect. That´s what makes looks so important. There is a reason why his teeth are perfectly straight and snow white (the constant wide smile is a little creepy though). That goes for all those "charm-gurus". I have never seen an average-looking person advising other people on how to date on YT. It´s always some muscular, 24-hour skin care, whole body shaven, perfectly trimmed Brad Pitt clone (alpha.m, looking at you). Sure, you still can´t be a complete dummie, but almost anything will work for a guy that looks like that.
@@jirkazalabak1514 These comment sections are inundated with those. Besides, how you present yourself is a much bigger indicator of how likeable you are. There are ways of presenting yourself that are nonverbal as well. Being conventionally good-looking is an advantage, not a requisite. People can clamor on about being having to look like an "alpha male", but that's something I've rarely ever seen happen in real life after college. Being average-looking will suit most people just fine. Hell, there are celebrities who look quite shabby and present themselves modestly (as in, they don't spend hundreds on cosmetics), yet many people consider them attractive or likeable.
@@briannab4037 the real reason why the incels are incels is because they haven't figured the world out. So they conclude that their looks hold them back. In reality, people are social animals. Therefore, if you want to master the world, master your social skills. And being attractive can be done without the good hygiene, working out, a good haircut, and take care of yourself the best way you can.
I think being attractive helps as well
Oh word
Heyyyy it’s John hill
69th like !
Like a smidge
Not true at all because you can invite some to a beautiful house. But when they walk in and see everything a mess they will walk out too
It doesn't hurt to LOOK really physically attractive also... (as in Aubrey's case)
@The1Americanpride1 Ok... Well out of curiosity, who would you consider a 9 or 10?
eh I think charisma can turn anyone more attractive than they are. Like it can make a 5 become an 8.
The1Americanpride1 says a box of a dog food
@The1Americanpride1 Yeah, I mean they're pretty, in a pinup way... But, I think you and I have completely different taste.
@The1Americanpride1 Yea, Aubrey is about 5000% hotter than them.
You can never be awkward on accident if you're always awkward on purpose. Its worked for me for years lol
How do you have enough energy to pretend to be awkward for years?
@@VeVeJT23 helps if you’re just naturally awkward
I'm autistic so my awkwardness is innate.
I make the other person feel awkward, and realise it too late
This is what Boris Johnson relied on his whole career, right up to becoming PM
I mean, she is attractive to begin with so her awkwardness comes off as "funny " or "cute"
Xenia Nova me too man, me too...
Oh yea yea
nah
It doesn't. It hurts to watch. At least for me.
It also her 'brand' of humor she became famous for.
The salute wasn't really on her. She was greeting, Howie. He's known to be a germaphobe because of his OCD. He doesn't like to shake hands.
Was going to say this but scrolled first to make sure I wasn't about to be redundant :)
Yea, she's battleing his akwardness with more akwardness! Cherrio
*awkwardness intensifies*
@@prakhar9473 Me: *autistic screeching*
Yeah, Charisma on Command should acknowledge this
Aubry is attractive because she's confident in her awkwardness. She does weird and off putting things, but every time she is being authentically herself, which is confident and hot.
She's attractive because she's hot. There's no magic here.
She's attractive because she's attractive
@@0live0wire0 exactly
@@TheConservativeCrusader yes, it's the halo effect. You can be a hardened criminal and still be treated better than most by society if you are very attractive e.g. Jeremy Meeks. The beauty bias is ridiculous and it's so ingrained in our psyche that it's hardly a subject of debate.
If she was ugly and had the same confidence she would not be hot. She'd just be weird
How To Turn Awkwardness Into Attraction - Be attractive.
I'm in luck.
Shut up, incel. Watch the video.
ArkPulseblade shut up turbo virgin.
Also, don't be unattractive.
finally someone said it
Step 1: Be attractive
You Are Everywhere I Go
I Don't Mind One Bit
What is Jreg doing here
Step 3: Money
Step 4: dont be unattractive:)
Wow lol made my day
For me, I act like nothing I do is awkward. Confidence literally is key. I swear. You don’t even have to cover up anything or “explain” if you own it.
Yeah but sometimes you can't find that confidence. I used to feel extremely confident in most situations and I know how it feels, youre not even thinking about what people think, you just are. But lately ideas about myself and my life choices have been eating me up and suddenly I question anything I do and say. No matter how hard I try I dont know where that confidence is anymore. It changed for me. :/ 🤷♀️
@@yael123gut cus you are not confidant.
I think confidence can be a choice. I think you can choose to do something like this, and when it succeeds, it becomes confidence. And I try my best to shrug it off if something embarrassing happens.
@@yael123gut Sending More Strength to you all.... and let go off the past...
bring your inner child , be fearless.
@@yael123gut because you change. You are starting to care about what people think about you. Or worse you are starting to lose confidence in yourself because of who and what kind of person you are.
Being awkward make you seem mysterious in a way, which makes you attractive as long as you own your awkwardness.. makes sense?
Nope, it does not.
@@AruwakEM lol
No..
It only makes sense to awkward people. It's the same reason I try to hear Morse Code when a dolphin sings; To try to understand what its saying
That's kinda me. I'm awkward and even quite blunt but one day a friend just told me out of the blue that she really loves how mysterious I can keep myself lol
I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about but thanks. :D
It’s not that difficult to seem attractive with your awkwardness when you’re already physically attractive to start with. The reason most people can’t own up to their awkwardness is because they are socially awkward and have low self esteem.
Like me
sunkenship self confidence is very attractive and also very easy to fake. Just pretend like you think you’re pretty great. Even try to play a character, or act in a persona, that is great. People literally can’t tell the difference between ironic acting and genuine self confidence.
@@levi1929 Until they get to know you and see you for who you really are.
People keep saying that, but you ever see Back to the Future 2? My wife says George McFly is good-looking, but his awkwardness overwhelms it most of the time. Similarly, Loraine Bates is physically attractive, but the fact that she constantly talks as if she's out of breath is annoying as heck. The right amount of awkwardness can ruin physical attraction, and the right amount of confidence and charisma can overcome a total lack of physical attraction.
@@nicobones9608 agreed. For instance I honestly don't find Aubrey Plaza that physically attractive, she is just pretty average imho (everyone who can afford professional stylists, stylish clothes and quality beauty products look decent). But the way she handles her awkwardness is really cool and makes her attractive as a personality.
When you admitted that you’re one of those people that can’t own up to their awkwardness. That killed me. I love it.
Also worth noting, Aubrey Plaza is an improve and sketch comedian who worked with UCB. So not only is she naturally attractive, she is also very quick witted and has excellent comedic timing. This isn’t something everyone just has.
Absolutely love Aubrey, her ability to own her awkwardness and turn it into humour is incredibly endearing
Чарлз Дарвин um.... bruh
@Чарлз Дарвин lol, I'd love to see what she thinks of this if she ever saw it
@Чарлз Дарвин Bruh
Watch her interview on Hot Ones -she breaks her character
She really owns it and honestly she's more relatable than most celebs. Not to mention she's hot af, that makes it even more appealing to see someone so attractive own her awkwardness.
"I dont know that many people from Delaware"
*"Thank you"*
I laughed so hard😂😂😂
like a
‘how are you?’
“ *yes* “thing going on
Neither do people from Delaware 😂
That was perfect
"thank you for being here"
"YEP"
This is an excellent analysis of Aubrey Plaza's style. I introduced a friend to her last week by way of these talk show appearances. He remarked on how her awkwardness and lack of matching facial expression was what made her funny. I had never thought of it--I just loved her affect. I love the way you break it down. One thought, though: "awkward" salute to the fellow guest on Letterman occurred because that other guest appears to be Howie Mandel, who is germaphobic. She probablv was told backstage not to trv to shake hands with him.
Could she maybe be on the spectrum?
Her technique to avoid small talk is flawless.
I shall assimilate this awkwardness into my own set of skills.
WE ARE BORG.
Tried don work
Ur right about avoiding small talk part
Well, with all the awkwardness I have to trade, I'm about to be the most attractive person on earth guys!
that’s pretty funny you think you’re more awkward than me
Gretix500, you already look stunning - what are you talking about? 😊
This whole comment section just reminded me to restock on my 18+ hand-holding porn collection!
I am ever so grateful to you, mein lieben Kartofeln
Lood guck
@@reflecttheinside wut
i love how the video pretends she has a problem with her "awkwardness" and tried do "get better" and "not make social mistakes"
she is just awkwards and is ok with that, she always seems very comfortable with that
1:03 - 1A: Introduce yourself with some form of physical touch.
1:19 - 1B: Call out awkward moments when they happen.
2:27 - 2A: Lean into the awkwardness even further.
3:09 - 2B: Call out when you see someone making these social mistakes.
3:59 - 3: Add a sentence to your one word answer.
5:03 - 4A: Flat deliveries work best when what you are saying is outlandish.
5:25 - 4B: Laugh at yourself or simply explain yourself.
6:34 - 5: Introduce a “hard pivot”- Do/say something even more awkward than the situation itself.
Thank yoouuuu
Legend
Thanks
Unrated comment
Awkward
Howie Mandel (the dude at 1:12) is a germaphobe and doesn't shake hands ever. just for context.
Beat me to the punch. Yes, Aubrey was respecting Howie's condition.
Shoulda gone for the iconic fist bump
@@sarahchoi2657 thats still physical contact
Ofc it is
Ivan Langi yes but he lets people do that
She just always seems like she’s doing an improv show
thats because she basically is
1:12 That was not awkward Howie is a notorious germaphobe, that was her being respectful!!
came to say that
@A.R.06 to say that
@A.R.06 oh, i think my sarcasm went over yours
**slow claps** well played.
Right?
I’m gonna try the “marry me” line and see how it goes.
Depends on the situation
MsquaredJ knowing myself I’m gonna be random with it lol
[Joʜɑɴɴ] use it when someone is complaining about your reaction being “bleh” after they offer something good
some day ohhh! I like that idea 😮
it's a great ice breaker
she makes me feel better about being socially awkward😂
Girl me 2
Lies again? Awkward Silence RP Education
Aubrey: Marry me
Conan and everyone laughs
Me: Marry me
Other person: Don't touch me I'm calling the police
Helps to be good looking.
Yup same xD
😂😂😂
Me: Marry me
Other person: How did you broke i to my house??? get out, I'm calling the police!!
You sre saying it in the wrong spot, or on the wrong way, or with the wrong person
Personally, when it comes to women and my awkwardness the most attractive thing they find is the nearest fire exit.
Lmao same, so many can relate
hey at least youre funny lol
Mood.
Don't worry fam I'm a whamen and ur profile pic belookin hella hot 😳. Ngl that pumpkin got some nice shape uwu
I'd also run from an evilly smiling pumpkin
Tired of seeing “It’s because she’s attractive.” No. She’s comfortable with being awkward, not self conscious about it. When you own your own perceived insecurities, the energy shifts. When you’re free with yourself, you make other people feel like they are in a “no judgement” environment. I know a bunch of not traditionally attractive people who are awkward, and I love them because they are their own person. All of you are so bitter, maybe that’s your problem.
Right, James Corden isn't the hunkiest guy in the world but the CoC video explains well why he's popular. Being good-looking is an advantage without question, but less good-looking people can succeed if they're personality is good. A "beautiful soul" as it were is appreciated.
Haha oh god, you’re one of those
Nope, pronouns don’t bother me. And idk what generation you’re from but y’all need to step it up because the constantly offended, whiny baby snowflake safe space stuff is tired. However, People projecting their own insecurities is annoying
And also idk why you’re specifically offended, there was no reason to blow it up like that 😂
thank you!
Some NOTES here:
1. NOT FOLLOWING OBVIOUS SOCIAL PROTOCOLS: Introduce yourself with some form of physical touch.
2. ACTING FLUSTERED OR UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THINGS GET AWKWARD: Call out and lean into the awkward situation you are in.
3. ANSWER WITH SOMETHING SHORT: Add a sentence to your one word answered, It carries the conversation forward.
4. NOT MATCHING YOUR EXPRESSION WITH YOUR WORDS: Make it flat delivery, laugh at yourself or just explain yourself.
5. GETTING CAUGHT IN AN AWKWARD SILENCE: Introduce a hard pivot.
As always my crazy passion is to share summaries like started doing it on my channel with PDF summaries.✌
Lets get less awkward now 😀
Thanks for the notes!
thanks.
I was looking for you, like for 5mins.
Mr Misanthrope Hahaha. May be my comment didn’t make it to the top. Well good that you found me though.
I usually type my reply as I am watching the video, but having your summaries are very helpful. Thanks!
*_Aubrey Plaza_* is hands down my most favorite actress to watch in interviews
I have hands down seen none of her movies. But I like to see her interviews.
@@MystmaxkinnTV Start Watching her 2017 movie The Little Hours😀
@@MystmaxkinnTV lol
@@MystmaxkinnTV Safety Not Guaranteed, The Little Hours, Ingrid Goes West, the FX series Legion, Black Bear, Emily the Criminal, and the HBO series The White Lotus are some of the must watch.
Craig Ferguson, Stephen Colbert, and Conan (to name a few) actually thrive in that awkwardness (as do I). It doesn't work with everyone, but a good awkward moment can build a connection almost like 'survivor bonds' (although more comedic, which is better - no real trauma). The trick is knowing with whom and when to create one, and when to just lean all the way in... :)
"Marry me" wasn't a subject change. It was a reversal of Conan's joke that she felt "blegh" about him.
ya it was a pivot not a subject change. it was playing with the subject.
You're right, but why did you post? Did you assume people don't already get that
@@jakerittlinger440 @6:40 "the hard pivot: take the conversation in a brand new direction or throw in something completely random" I agree with the comment: it's not a subject change: it's still on the same topic.
It's an exaggeration or overcompensation of what Conan wanted to hear. She was saying "no..no you're not blegh to me...i love you.. marry me"
Own your awkward moments don't try and cover them up. people can relate.
Not always
That depends *a lot* on the relative (social) status (if you will) between the two persons. For instance, if you are considered a dork, one of the cool kids will never relate to your awkwardness, even if they act the same between their friends.
"Make physical contact when greeting someone" Awww, the good old pre-Corona times...
"Wanna see my socks?" that's what I am using next time I have nothing to say.
Make sure you don't put a foot wrong
Mystmaxkinn I had a co-worker used that on our 2-man shift lol
-forgets socks-
What if ur not wearing socks?
You better be sure to wear the most amazing socks ever at all times
My crush: hey what’s up
Me: uh.... (clueless on what to say)
My crush: ...........
Me: marry me
😆
Watch, (winning with woman) helped me tons.
This might actually work
@@altaccount3124 It may result in getting a restraining order
I think this is the first time a comment actually made me laugh
I'd just like to add that sometimes when a person gives a short answer to a question or doesn't participate in small talk it's because THEY DON'T WANT TO. More people (extroverts) need to pick up on subtle cues that someone is trying to be polite while also trying to avoid getting into a conversation. I have this happen all the time and it's not because I'm awkward or don't understand social cues, it's because other people either don't understand or don't care about the cues I'm sending. The examples here are from interviews where having a conversation is the point, but the advice given here doesn't apply in every situation.
"here's a clip of her not shaking someones hand"
*is approaching howie mandel*
Froggerdog exactly my thoughts 😂
A known germaphobe.
Right?! HE'S INTERNATIONALY KNOWN FOR BEING A GERMAPHOBE ....
Oh no, not the PewDiePie clip
that hurts
I like how both of your profile pictures are puppets
Capuchino Sofia aw twinning
I like how both ur pics are animals
@Aesthetic Decision i like how aesthetic your profile is
As a young autistic male I can confirm that confidence is key. Stay true to who you are and people will be forced to accept it if they care about you enough. Excellent tips, people ask me all the time why I’m different and I never know what to say or how to explain it besides the fact that I had good people supporting me growing up. Now I can reference this video as a learning opportunity for anyone interested in why my brain works the way it does
lol
Me : Hey
Someone : Hey
Me : How are you
Someone : Good
Me : *get well soon*
*awkward silence*
*immediately starts thinking that I should go back to my cave*
Pal C i died lol
Hi
Well at least u haven't said "i love you" to a person who aint your friend/family like I did with the local pizza shop. I still haven't called them back in 3 months.
Pal C I spit out my Mac and cheese bruh
But was that awkward or are you just empathic and able to tell that their “good” was a total lie
"Having a good summer so far?"
"Yes, so many penises."
...
why did you cut that off there? we might probably actually learn something about avoiding awkwardness by seeing how Conan responded to that.
He just said "okay"
@@benny607 really?.. well damn, swing and a miss i guess
At first he said "okay" and let the joke linger for a moment. Then he said "okay, I'm just gonna ask you. I'm gonna go there. 'So many penises' - what's happening?" so she could elaborate. Which was her plan all along, of course.
She does that a lot - says something awkward/weird to get people's attention, make them curious about the context, then elaborates on it. Clever trick, really.
Yeah the editing is pretty bad here. Everything felt so rushed.
I did feel like every time I was about to learn something, it cut off and moved on before I had time to process anything smh
Everyone else saying to be attractive, but I think it's about being ✨confident✨
YES THANK YOU i hate how everyone keeps saying that its because she's attractive and whatever. obviously being good looking is something that always helps but you can't just invalidate someone's abilities because "sHeS jUsT aTtrAcTivE"
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...!!!
Maybe yes. You can be confident and be known by many people but that doesn't necessarily mean you're attractive.
It's both. But it's mostly her authenticity.
Conan is pretty funny, but his comedy is so forced that he is constantly awkward which causes him to make fun of himself the whole time.
Aubrey is the perfect opposite. She just doesn't give a f*ck yet she also blends with her environment.
She says, "murder, death; I'll kill you" yet one gets the sense that she can be trusted.
I mean...being attractive definitely helps out with confidence
Charlie's way of explaining things so clearly is absolutely amazing!
She's not awkward. She's just playing a character.
Yess
Exactly. Not sure how people don't see that. Not hating though, it's pretty adorable and sexy.
Her character was made because she’s weird irl, the writers of parks and rec said it in interviews before
I think also it's bc she gets nervous during interviews. One time she said she doesn't like interviews bc they ask you the questions before hand so you're basically having the convo twice
Lol y can’t ppl accept that celebrities are awkward to 🙄
fax. calling out awkwardness and just being open about it breaks the ice and always gives u something to say
Something that I really admire about this channel is how you somehow manage to incorporate good quality content/concepts into trending topics. Very creative and great work.
Crush: Hey
Me: *tries to think of something smart to say*
Also me: Marry me
Aubrey has awkward moments because alongside her improv/theater/comedy background it's also a natural part of her, especially in public settings. She also experiences social anxiety, which was likely brought on by or amplified by the stroke she had at age 20. It's a combination of many factors that make her have her own unique thing. Trying to emulate her exactly won't make someone else be like her, but this is a good overview. And at the end of the day other awkward people can see parts of themselves reflected and feel better about existing like themselves.
In other words: OWN IT. That's the best thing this socially awkward person has learned in her life.
Awkwardness is far more cute in women than it is in men.
Jake Gyllenhaal wants a word with you.
Awkward dudes are cute tho
Wrong. Awkward guys are adorable.
not true. a lot of girls think awkward guys are adorable myself included
Not true, awkward guys can be cute too!
the way you showed a clip of her purposefully not shaking howies hand even though that makes absolute sense of her to do for him and was actually a very considerate thing handled by both of them in a comedic fashion
"marry me" is going to be my new go-to line when the conversation gets awkward.
It seems like it would work better as a woman ?
@@jeonhanpark95 I can see it working for a man ? if ur not creepy
Me too
lol
It is one of the best compliments you can give to another person.
For the viewers with no experience of being hopelessly awkward saying shes playing a character, do you know how exhausting that would be? This is just a part of her personality, I appreciate that she goes against the norm and isn't afraid to make people cringe for not answering the way shes expected to. Its unnatural to react the way most celebs do (laughing constantly) but its okay, they got the job done and you adore them and the stories they rehearsed. A couple shots and poof! "How to turn anxiety into charisma, Alcohol." (they are called actors for a reason) Aubreys responses are more natural to me, then some other celebs I've seen.
Thank you, I am autistic and so I relate to her A LOT (while I don't think she is autistic, I do think that her stroke may have had some similar effects on her) and at the same time, I think because I am autistic and exactly awkward and weird like she is, I can tell she's not just playing a character... if not for my social anxiety, I'd absolutely be a less-attractive male Aubrey Plaza, and that's why I love her. :)
i will say that from my experience its the people who fit social norms and make fewer mistakes who are more often, more likely, to be "playing characters"
I'm highly skeptical that any celeb is 100% themself during a publicity interview. Especially when it's being recorded in front of a live audience. It's not a normal casual conversation, it's a performance. And I do have plenty of experience of being socially awkward.
It might not be as exhausting for an actor. I mean most people find it exhausting to look at spreadsheets all day but an accountant doesn't.
She doesn't have a camera on her 24/7... We only see her when she is performing.. While yes she has a deadpan personality in general , a lot of it is her "act" now..
Something very important seems to be left out of this video:
Aubrey Plaza has fun with the awkwardness. Sometimes she intentionally does awkward things for the fun of it, and fun has an infectious quality to it
Aubrey Plaza is my spirit animal
How to turn awkwardness into attractiveness : be attractive.
So when she's in Parks and Rec, she's actually just mostly being herself xD
More accurately, she's more just being her Parks and Rec character 100% of the time
@@althealligator1467 well the character was completely written based off her own personality
She helped create her April Ludgate character actually, including the character's nature and role in the story. She based much of her character's way of talking on her sister really. Even April and Andy getting together was her idea.
As a British person, self deprecating humour comes pretty naturally to me, so I learned pretty early in life that it's always better to lean into the awkwardness as much as possible.
Laughing at yourself and saying "well that went down like a lead balloon" or "yeah that sounded way funnier in my head" can usually get a smile or a laugh even when your first attempt at humour has fallen flat. It's only when you go quiet or try to backtrack that the awkwardness really starts to look bad. If you lean into it you can still appear confident and in command of the situation even though you just kinda messed up.
And you never know when saying “That will go down like a lead balloon” will inspire the name of one of history’s greatest bands!
I def agree about calling out the awkwardness I emit sometimes lol. I do this all the time. Whenever I'm awkward I NEVER hide it. People find my honesty quite endearing and it's an easy icebreaker as well.
Im naturally awkward, and when I meet someone similarly awkward, now that's awkward
Thanks. This one's actually useful as a girl on the autism spectrum. I'm probably similar to how Aubrey comes across in these interviews. Some people are into it somehow! I just gotta capitalize on what I can do. lol
Actually, this only works if you are cute and attractive...
True true. Otherwise, they'll claim you as attention seeking energy vamp
I find it weird how he’s explaining that she’s owning her awkwardness and being funny with it and you just reduce it down to her looks. I think being funny trumps looks in my opinion and she’s just the funny kind of awkward.
A. L. Michael But she’s literally showing she can be a random awkward balloon but being hot gives her the quirky personality
@@BudderB0y2222 she's a comedian... I bet u have mommy issues incel
the world is superficial
Thank you. This kind of info is absolutely invaluable for people on the spectrum. Because neurotypicals feel incredibly awkward even talking about it, as they are things 'everybody knows' or should already know. Except autists. And why we have such a hard time learning them.
I find all of this person's videos extremely helpful, it's literally like the rulebook it feels like neurotypicals have that we don't
Thank you for highlighting how awkardness can be attractive and charismatic. I've always been this way and it is hilarious, fun and unique.
This is one of the few channels that I don't regret turning on notifications for, every video is great
This is all bs. Try doing all this when you're an fat ugly guy lol. Every video he puts out focus on Hollywood types that are generally super attractive. Oh look Chris Hemsworth is using his body language and utilising these social clues blah blah blah
@Vaishnavi Ramesh Well said.
@@hankjones7054 yeah, how dare he doesn't use some fat ugly guys for his videos and be responsible for your doom. dude, time to get back into reality. Work on yourself both physiological and psychological. You're not getting anywhere by blaming others for your own weaknesses.
@@gerdhagen so you don't agree that physical appearance makes a difference in social situations? It would be better if he used normal people instead of the richest, most attractive and famous people in the world (who are probably media trained) and said 'look how confident they are!' Or he could use politicians, military leaders, journalists etc. People who don't look like a million dollars but whose confidence is about all about inner character. I don't expect this channel to fix me, but I do expect some actual useful tips that anyone can utilise - which surely is the whole point of the channel.
Aubrey has the sexiest eyes. That doesn’t hurt either.
akshay satish by having sexy eyes
And Even sexier thighs. Felt her thighs were the highlights
bug eyes
She proudly displays her shapely legs in miniskirts as well in case you haven't noticed.
GREAT VIDEO! Thank you! Back in 2000 I went to see an artist Singer/ Songwriter perform unplugged . (He has a large following being a Lead guitar player in a very popular band that started in 1980). My point is... He used confusion as part of his performance. It was amazing. People LOVED it. It was so unique and at times I wondered if he confued and disoriented on purpose. (He was doing it as part of his "show") but did NOT detracked from the beautiful music he created and the great storytelling. He is a master of doing this. Like... Not knowing what song to play, Lookng to the sky for guidance, asking the audience for help remembering lyrics. It was a great way to draw people in and break the ice. It's very hard to do and be authentic at the same time. This guy did it. It truly was amazing!
I'm a woman with aspergers and she is SO useful to me as an example of how to behave when awkwardness happens (because it inevitably happens), I actually wanted and even suggested you do an analysis of her so I'm glad to see it finally happen
*You can make almost any emotion work to your advantage. It’s all about learning how to control it.*
And I'm Bear Grylls. Ive been surviving in the wild my entire life.
Oh get out of here
Yes and about confidence.
or don't let the emotions control you and accept yourself as you are (so long as it is not debilitating).
Damn. If that isn’t a Raven quote, it should be.
When I’m awkward I just turn myself into a joke HAHAHHAHAA it takes some humour
You also have hotness going for you
wish i had that kinda confidence, i'm too scared to even try talking to people
I started getting really good at turning my awkwardness into good moments, I cant stop awkwardness but I know how to flip it into stuff people like
7:46 “...not micromanaging what people think...”
I LOVE THAT. I’m going to post it on my mirror.
There's no substitute for being accepting of yourself.
I didn't know that I was acting weird af with my social interactions until I watch this
ME TOO NOW I FEEL SO WEIRD
Zion Echon SAME
I have ASD, and that one point about the second sentence helped to me to fake normal ever since I was 14 or so. Any time someone asks you a question, after answering the question (especially if it's a short answer), add a related comment about whatever topic they asked you about. Extra points if it serves as a segway for them to talk more. It's like playing hot potato with no hands, you can learn to bat the thing away with your stubs, and hopefully the other people will keep it busy for a while.
I keep noticing that following up a question with a return question is GOLD if you can get the other person wrapped up answering it, but I haven't been that good at executing that one... the questions always seem interrogative, poorly timed, inappropriate, etc... At 33 years old I've given up on that one.
I've been both very attractive, and unattractive in my life. And I can tell you from experience that physical attraction is pretty much everything. When you're physically attractive, you get treated much better with minimum to no effort. When you're unattractive, people will be less nice to you. People have to warm up to you, to see the good things about you before they start treating you better.
Make a video please how to talk to someone who creates awkward silences. As in with shy people. I sometimes struggle to make connections with people like that. Your community might know a few tricks already, but that doesn‘t help if the other party isn‘t able to manage a conversation themselves. I think it would really benefit your viewers.
I think her whole "awkward persona" is an act, it doesnt seem genuine to me. She is after all comedian/actress. I wonder if she is like that in her private life, not just for the cameras.
Anna L I was just thinking about that
i just love that Aubrey just speaks her mind instead of acting pretentious like most people in hollywood
*I find when I mention my awkwardness when it gets awkward it makes you more likeable than awkward. Hope my videos helps :)*
love the videos
Never heard of her but damn is she gorgeous.
watch parks and rec
You are probably on an Aubrey Plaza interview marathon right now!!!
Dude watch the movie where she is the main character playing a social media btch. It's a must see movie of hers. Can't recall the title atm
Proof that race mixing can turn out some of the hottest people.
@@take7upyours822 hell yeah
thank you so much for clarifying this awkwardness topic and huge kudos for using Aubrey as an exemple, I spend so much time watching her interviews trying to catch something I can use for myself. I really relate to her, thank you very much
She didn’t shake Howies hand, because it is well known that he doesn’t like to be touched. He has OCD.
Kimmi Did What? He doesn’t have OCD he’s a germaphobe
AeGerman He has OCD. The averse reaction to germs is a symptom of his OCD. Researchers him further. 😀
YT: "How to stop being awkward"
Me: Nope
YT: "How to turn Awkwardness into Attraction"
Me: There we go :D
Watching this made me realize my problem is the short answers and lack of expression but I think it developed from never being asked about myself or had the ability to practice expression as a child plus always getting ignored so I just be quiet through life by default except with family and close friends already.
Yeah, developing and learning being social is important in my opinion too! Some do it naturally as kids (I'm jealous lol) and some learn it later (like me), i was adopted by a kind friend-group a few years ago and I got good or at least better at socializing ever since.
I'm pretty sure Aubrey didn't shake Howie's hand out of respect for his germaphobia.
Is it me or is the audio weaker in this video?
Not just you
super quiet, indeed
Yeah, I'm hard of hearing and can't hear this one. Struggle as is on the regular ones.
Jamison Reynolds it’s pretty clear for me.
Oh god I thought it was my earphones 😪
it really makes her special, and even relatable to other awkward people
I always love seeing successful people being awkward and introverted; It just makes me feel better, lol.
How to turn awkwardness into attractiveness: be Aubrey Plaza
i think its interesting to examine the psychology behind why people come across as charismatic. however, i think the key thing missing from such an exercise is understanding that above all her awkwardness comes across as authentic, its not gonna land if its forced. you gotta cultivate your authentic self above all else.
"shake people hands"
Covid-19 entered the chat.
Lol, yes tho
Yeah I feel extremely uncomfortable/awkward when someone says something with a straight face & waits for my reaction & I have no idea how I’m supposed to react to what they said 😣
Hey just wanted to say that I loved this video. Aubrey Plaza is sort of a charisma role-model for me since I'm naturally awkward. I already do a few of the tips listed but there were others I'm not consistently using.
That's just her sense of humour. She's too advanced for us 😂
For me personally, when I'm feeling too uncomfortable around someone to not be awkward, it's because I simply do not want to be talking to that person. Which unfortunately tends to apply to most people I don't know due to years of emotional abuse and subsequent social defeat. Being likeable starts with having the energy to be outwardly expressive. If you can't muster that, then you will always be uncomfortable to be around regardless of how many of these tips you learn. If you already have the compulsion to engage with other people however, especially strangers, these can be very useful.
How to turn awkwardness into attraction?
Be beautiful and rich.
God, these comments are asinine.
@@briannab4037 Asinine, but true. As much as people like CoC hate to admit it, looks count for like 80% of your "social skills", even with people who claim to be searching for "inner beauty". Most people decide whether they like you or not within the first few seconds, and that just doesn´t give you enough time to dazzle them with impressive phrases or intellect. That´s what makes looks so important.
There is a reason why his teeth are perfectly straight and snow white (the constant wide smile is a little creepy though). That goes for all those "charm-gurus". I have never seen an average-looking person advising other people on how to date on YT. It´s always some muscular, 24-hour skin care, whole body shaven, perfectly trimmed Brad Pitt clone (alpha.m, looking at you). Sure, you still can´t be a complete dummie, but almost anything will work for a guy that looks like that.
@@jirkazalabak1514 These comment sections are inundated with those.
Besides, how you present yourself is a much bigger indicator of how likeable you are. There are ways of presenting yourself that are nonverbal as well. Being conventionally good-looking is an advantage, not a requisite. People can clamor on about being having to look like an "alpha male", but that's something I've rarely ever seen happen in real life after college. Being average-looking will suit most people just fine. Hell, there are celebrities who look quite shabby and present themselves modestly (as in, they don't spend hundreds on cosmetics), yet many people consider them attractive or likeable.
@@briannab4037 the real reason why the incels are incels is because they haven't figured the world out. So they conclude that their looks hold them back. In reality, people are social animals. Therefore, if you want to master the world, master your social skills. And being attractive can be done without the good hygiene, working out, a good haircut, and take care of yourself the best way you can.
@@gibransaliba8801 Exactly.
She definitely knows what she is doing.
She is playing that awkward part good.
*"Play a sucker to catch a sucker"*
Did you really post this comment multiple times?
She has a very unique strong character. That could never fail...it bails her out of what they refer to as her awkwardness.
My friend's favourite hard pivot is "Die, just die". Pretty dark, but everyone laughs at it
I use that all the time with friends. Never with others though!
It also helps that she is talking with TV hosts who has a lot of experience with controlling conversations.