Swiss German educator here: Sharing is a way to connect to other people. Offering to share something is begging for connection. The child has to learn the inner process of sharing and to choose the people you want to share. When to open up, when to protect oneself. If you force your child to share it will experience sharing as loss and not as positive experience. Especially if the other kid just takes the toy and does not play together with your child. Do you want to teach your kid to share everything with everyone? To become a person that is always taken advantage of? To learn it can buy "fake" friendships instead of having real connections?
@AeonSaint The most two important topics in my opinion are sharing and apologizing. Both are complicated actions. Apologizing without meaning it is not what they have to learn. And to mean it needs time to calm down and to feel sorry and to be sure the apology is accepted. It needs courage. Or maybe the person doesn't deserve a one-sided apology. The other part has to earn it. We do not force children to share, to say sorry or to say thank you. We model it. Maybe that's why some people think we are rude. But when we say it we mean it.
I totally understand all of your points, and it's very important to learn to set boundaries, but I just don't see where the sharing part is properly taught in Germany. And as a migrant I see a huge difference between adult migrants and germans even when it comes to sharing time and attention. I think that's why most migrants don't feel welcomed in Germany.
German here. I never thought much about the sharing thing. But now I wonder: why would they share if they don't want to or give another chhild their toy when playing with it just because he or she wants to play with it too. You wouldn't give a stranger your smartphone or tablet just because they want to have it right now, would you? And it's also a question of consent.
German here, too. And maybe this is the first step for a child to say NO. And this NO has to be respected. A good process especially for children, girls, women.
Yes, that's it. The person who owns the item decides whether they want to share it or not. Is it nice to share and should children learn to share? Yes. But they also need to learn that they can't go to another child and just demand/expect to get something that isn't theirs. And they especially don't get to just take it without asking. They need to learn to say no and to accept being told no just as much as they need to learn share.
If you tell children "you can't do it, I'll help you", you make them dependent. Children who manage to climb this wall on their own have the skills necessary to avoid falling down. But if you lift them up, it's dangerous. Unfortunately, I see parents on playgrounds lifting their children up everywhere. This is more dangerous than climbing this wall, because the children do not learn the necessary body control to move safely on their own.
Regarding the shoes, I think you have to keep in mind that the seasons in Germany are quite different. You definitely don't want children to walk inside with snowboots on bringing in snow and dirt. Or let them jump in a puddle and get their shoes wet when it is cold outside. So I can imagine that German kids need a few more shoes than Indian kids. But what she said is true, shoes are taken very seriously in Germany. As an Austrian I thinknit makes sense though. If you want healthy feet and be able to walk a lot, you cannot damage them from an eatly age with bad footwear.
Also, not every shoe works in all weather conditions and on all grounds. Like, sports facilities won‘t let you in if you do not have the proper shoes and the shoes you wear would be either unsafe (and cause injuries to you when doing sports) or would damage a high tech flooring in the sports facility… Sandals are apparently not in order during a snow storm, for a walk in a muddy field or forest, rainboots are appropriate. For a hike up a stony mountain, shows with thick soles are required as flimsy flip-flops will cause accidents.. Etc. etc.
Well, if you use the saying "There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing." (which seem to exist as a very well know saying in all Germanic languages but English) as a rule for life you do need apropirate clothes and footwear.
I work in a Daycare and 8 Pairs of shoes is insane. We have maybe 3. One type for Inside, one for outside and A pair of Rainboots. Thats the norm for us. Im from North West Germany. And with the sharing. Yes we do say that the Kids dont have to share the Toy they are playing with at the Moment, but that doesnt mean they never have to share. At the Daycare for example We have a Toy that ist very popular among the Kids, but only one at a time can play with it. Its a little Traktor you can sit on and drive. Many Kids want to drive it. With such a Thing of course they have to share. One kid has a certain amount of Time on it and the others have to wait their turn. The Kids would rather drive with it All the Time but have to let the other have a turn too and share the Toy Traktor. So yes a first Reaktion is to not have to share but that doesnt mean they never have to or are never encouraged to share.
Its also a matter of Asking to share or just taking. Even 2 Year Old children can Start learning to ask if they can play with something another child is playing with. The Response from german Parents she talked about probably happens when a child just takes takes a Toy. They should ask and See wether the other child declines or not. I think they should learn that they cant always have everything they ask for imediatly. The child playing with the Toy might be fine with sharing the Toy if asked. The Adult can help the children reach an agreement. Like the kid that asked can have it After 5 min or something. Asking is just very important here. Its important for later in life when they are older. You cant just take something from a friend without Asking. That would be Rude and might lead to problems.
@Ewi-wf2hf It's not as crazy as you think. Don't forget that she also included sports shoes (which are required at school). In addition - she's living in the south of Germany. There's a lot of snow in the winter so snow boots make sense as well. And lastly (she even mentioned that in the video) she had to buy a few new shoes because her daughter grew out of the old ones. That has nothing to do with school or Kindergarten or daycare, that's just children growing. Here in Northern Germany kids don't need that many shoes - it hardly ever snows so they definetly don't need snowboots for example.
Don't forget that you need inside shoes at home as well, and maybe a pair of rainboots for the weekends. Plus, in snowy areas you need snowboots, then she mentioned normal boots, which are probably "Übergangsschuhe", for Spring and Autumn and Turnschlappen for indoor excercise and sports shoes for outside sports/after school sports. I live in Austria, and we can easily make it up to 8 pairs in the whole year, with sandals and growing feet.
Yeah 3 shoes but you need the same lot for home (at least rain boots and house shoes) and then maybe sandals, plus winter shoes, plus maybe sports shoes (our daycare requests it) so that makes 7 already ;) And sharing: I agree. But there's a massive difference between sharing _your_ toy and sharing a toy in kindergarten (which is common property). I have 2 kids age 3 and 5, and a lot of toys are "common", so either can have them, but some favourites that were gifts or well beloved are property of one kid and off limits to the other except if they asked...
Min 4:39, duh?!? In India it's almost always warm, in Germany it can be any temperature from -25 to +42 or so, so you need shoes for any type of temperature. I spend up to 6 months out of the year in India, and bring precisely one pair of shoes, namely flip flops, whereas in Germany I have at least 30 pairs,all of which I do actually use.
@@bta7658 it's about the lowest I ever remember in my lifetime, -20/25, years and years ago. And +42 is about the highest that I recall, ever. But it doesn't really matter, does it, re my point? This very last winter it was -10,-11 at some point, and I just wore my normal winter clothes, that I would have worn at 0 degrees, or -20, likewise. What point are you trying to make, even?
@@bta7658 so if I ve experienced -20 down in the Bavarian countryside, it stands to reason that up there on Zugspitze it will have been -25, or lower. So my entire, very , very obvious point was that, unlike in India, people in Germany naturally need many more pairs of shoes. For snow, ice, skiing, hiking in summer, hiking when it's cold, cool but not cold weather, slightly warm weather, warm weather, hot weather etc etc.. When I go to India, I literally need to account for the weather in Germany upon my return,so I might have to bring a pair of boots, winter coat, thick scarf, thick pants and jumper, just ONE OF EACH, which, together, easily fill more than half of my humongous suitcase,and that I will never use even once in 6 months in India, just for when I arrive at the airport in Germany, in March. So what's your point, then?
If a kid get hurt, nearly every German (you need it if you want to get a drivers license in Germany) is trained in first aid, and the ambulance took about ten mins to head in after the emergency call. If protection is not granted so recovery is!
When I got hurt, I often did not tell it my parents. Cut with a knife? Quick trip into the garage, plaster around and back to the forrest. Bloody feet because I wanted to show off and went bare feet into the forrest? Do not admit the mistake! Let it bleed 😂. As children we had scratches, cuts, bloody knees blue spots on legs and arms all the time. My mother sometimes feared that others thought we would be abused. In reality we went to war with wooden spears, swords and axes in the forrest against the boys of the neighboring village, fought over huts and berry bushes and almost everything you could fight over😂. Great times. No worries, no responsibility aside from homework.
@@jarlnils435 Yeah!! It was the same with me! I always hat cuts and bruises from climbing, walking bare foot, doing St u pid stuff like hopping fences and falling on my face! But that never stoped me from doing it again. I don't remember ever from falling down a tree or sth I climbed on. Once I dir these mokey bar things and I (stu pid ly) tried to skipp three of the bars at once on purpose. Well, i missed the fourth and fell plain on my stomach. I could not breath for Idk one minute, my oder cousin who was watch ing me paniked. After that I stood up and did the monkey bars again! This time skipping only two bars and not three. Because I learned: "three is to many. Stick with two!" But Yeah.. My teachers acutally asked me if I was ab used by my parents because of the bruises. You can imagine how pi ssed my parents were, when I told them the teacher had asked me that! They were livid! My parents never ever laid there hands on me. It was a shock to them, finding out my teacher would ask me that!
It is not really only about body positivity. It is also about I don't care. You don't like how I look in a swim suit, bikini, white socks in sandals? Well, that is a you problem. I do not care.
@@Asperger0815 I don't think so. GenX is an American thing. I was born in the years that Americans would call Gen X, in Germany there is the Generation Golf. And I don't fit in this either because I was born and grew up in East Germany. I have completely other experiances that someone from the US or West Germany born the same year. You just can't classify people after the year they were born. That is stupid.
@@helloweener2007 LOL! Westler hier. Allerdings kann ich mit vielem, dass die Amis erzählen was anfangen. Besonders mit dem permanent ignoriert werden von den Eltern -.- Und ja, zu meiner Schande muss ich gestehen, ich hatte ein Erbeerkörbchen. In weiß 🤣
I think the reason for many difference between Germany and US, India, newzealand and many more countries is that Germany was never parth of the british commonwealth
another reason universal health insurance In the EU, by law, all children have health insurance, so even if something happens, the hospital will cover it in the USA it is a one-way ticket to bankruptcy
@@JeanEtte-h1n as I do t have children I just googled it and that was the given answer: that from 2023 it is 250€ for each kid, before that the first 2 children received less kindergeld
i think every german child must climb to the highest tree they saw...if he or she fell and broke a bone they learn about it.thats life!!your mistakes you never forget.but when you grow up with no mistakes you are the tiny little person in the backround .......and alone..hehe
I've climbed so many trees and never fell down. It's just something you learn early on. My mom was once picking cherries on a tree (as an adult) and the branch she was sitting on broke, she grabbed the full bucket and jumped from the falling branch to the next one. Was shocked, but climbed down and had saved the cherries. Now she's over 70 and still picks cherries from trees. That just works, when you start early on. I'm climbing on trees with my son as well 🙂
@@viomouseRight! I was picking cherries as a kid, too, and it was so much fun. Never fell. Only rule with the cherry tree was that an adult had to be within sight. But we also had an apple tree that only had thick enough branches on the height of about 2 meters, so we were allowed to climb on that one on our own. It was so much fun and also very cool to pick your own fruits. I liked to eat fruits a lot more when impacted them myself
When I was 5 or so I fell from an oak. Banged my head and knee. When I was back at the garden my mother noticed the backside of my shirt was missing and my back all scratched up. It did not hurt. I got spray bandage. What really hurt, was getting my pajamas of the next day. The scabs fused with the cloth.
Re children's clothes : since children grow out of their clothes so fast there are second-hand shops and charity sales and flea markets for children's clothes all over Germany and there is NO NEED to buy everything new !! And I never heard of a kindergarten that asks for that diversity of shoes !! That you need boots and snow boots in winter goes without saying !!
not only that, in the company when a child is born, all mothers who have older children will give the "young" mother everything she needs for a newborn so in my company, when a colleague's child was born, he received clothes for 3 years in advance, plus the company paid for diapers for the whole year
I let my kids climb high. But I usually stand below in case of a fall. Still my kids have had some pretty bad falls when I wasen't expecting them, luckily nothing bad happened.
As a now adult german kid😁 :Please, sharingloving parents, could you imaging from the viewe of your child, the meanig of being forced to give away your most beloved Toy, to an other kid your kid may don't like? How gruel is your hard, only show up that you are an open minded "Good People" to non related strangers? Didn't realize what you destroy in only one moment inside your kid? May I introduce a bit by asking: "How you would feel beeing forced to sharing your spouse with someone? -Exactly, i hope now you got it!" Not everything is to share, the decission about, is the kid human right! 👋😇👍
Sharing a toy and sharing a wife are two extremely different things, don't you think? And I hope we grow up and learn to share the things that make sense and that not all emotional decisions are good, not even for us. Unfortunately, to learn this distinction is never really a topic in Germany. Telling from a migrant who is living long time in Germany. It's good to learn when and what to share. It looks to me that a lot of rudeness comes from the fact that many people never learn to share.
@@kape2469 Please read carefully, from the child's perspective, the most popular toy is everything ! You came up with a platonic illegitimate argument, that obvisauly sharing a toy and a spouse is something different. Wise guy, and with the basic trust destroyed, you explain to the 2 1/2 year old child that it now has to slowly grow up and learn to share. In the same way, and with the same ignorance, you can be asked to be mature and less selfish, less emotional, learn what you are forced to share, when and with whom. You will not be asked if that would be your spouse. Your second-hand expertise, from someone you know, with a different cultural background who has lived with the evil Germans for many years, convinced me one hundred percent. Did you understand that? Which of us both would the 2 1/2 year old child describe as rude? We learn to share in the right age and under the right conditions. With the hubris of an adult you treat a child like an adult? Bravo. Maybe you'll visit the Germans on your own to form your own opinion. But unfortunately you seem to be the expert for the germans, with sentences like: "Unfortunately, to learn this distinction is never really a topic in Germany." So you see we germans are able to share ... our opinions. My international collaguas enjoy and love it. 😇
@@kape2469 Thats why a good Kita or Daycare is so important, kids learn to socialize better, learn to fight their own battles to an extent, and have experiences where they do not have Mommy or Daddy nearby. It also often enables a huge jump in their vocabulary and abillity to express themselves better.
@@kape2469 You don't get it. Are you so in love with your anti-german sentiments, that pick out of the box the second-hand opinion from a not cultural related Expert from an other country? Bravo, you convinced me totaly (ironic)!!! May you have the chance to meet germans in person, bevor talking BS. Hope you catch the original meaning of my first comment.... before having own kids. I wish it for the kids...
@@kape2469Teaching one's children to kling to stuff instead of sharing is stupid and rude. I have only witnessed that once, though - a mother in the playground barked " that is NOt YOURS!!!" and ripped the shovel off a toddler, while her own child did not even mind him taking it! Apart from people who are apparently mentally unstable like her, I have never seen such behavior. We do teach children to share, but also to be polite and ASK if you can have something rather than just taking it.
I also people I talked about this consider the children freedom the best times of our lives, times when you can climb whatever you want any tree, walls roofs even and the worst thing that can happen is some grumpy old man telling you to not climb his roof, exploring forests with your friends, getting chased by a boar and tbh even with our very safe streets and roads I would say that such adventures are much safer than being around cars, ofc our parents were always afraid but never stopped us from having our adventures and fun besides the worst that can happen is a broken leg or arm or few bruises, nothing doctors and children body wouldn't heal. Helping grandparents doing wood with an axe, do the garden chores, help with repairing house like handing bricks and so on... it's just awesome because kids from young age know what is dangerous what to expect from certain things. It might seem dangerous to let kids climb trees and have them chopping wood with an axe but in opposite it teaches them to be careful.
What Antoinette says about the shoes is extreme. I needed 3 pairs of shoes for our children in kindergarten. The obligatory slippers (dirt stays outside), rain boots for bad weather, and seasonal outdoor shoes. When there is snow outside, snow boots actually make sense. Here where I live, we have snow once every 2 years for a few days, so it's not worth it. But we have a lot of rain, so rain boots are essential. But also rain pants and rain jackets, because the children are often outside for hours and simply have to stay dry.
About the toys: imagin an adult walks towards you and grabs your phone just bc they want to. You would be obviously angry bc this was an act of rudness. It's the same with children. How could they understand this if we don't explain and teach them this early on?
I think it is important to let your child decide whether to share or not. I wouldn't share somthing which is important to me with someone I dont know. First I need to be sure that I wont get it back broken. If my child decides to share its toy after some time playing next to or with the other child, it is a sign of trust and a special moment for both children. And maybe its the start of a friendship. Also, sharing doesnt have to mean "give it away, so someone else can play with it". Sometimes it means "playing together" 😊
2:50 we also share in germany, but we let our kids usually decide if they wanna share or not. sooner or later the kids will share the toys, bcs they run into a situation where they wanna play with toys from other kids and have to see if they are ok with sharing. learning by doing :) imo better than to teach your kid that it has to share no matter what and the other kid thinks its ok to grab whatever it wants.
11:32 they are not worried because they "trained" their kid with baby steps and of course we hold their hands or waist in the beginning, later we are just there to catch them until we know they can do it alone... You see the outcome of years training. I would have been scared too if my kid hasn't balanced anything in her life before...
Children learn. They also have to learn that their own toys belong to them and that they can decide who uses them. If you want to use another child's toy you have to ask and not just take it. This teaches them what possession is and what theft is. Very simple life lesson. Kinder lernen. So müssen sie auch lernen das ihr eigenes Spielzeug ihnen gehört und sie entscheiden dürfen wer es benutzt. Wenn sie ein Spielzeug von einem anderen Kind benutzen möchten müssen sie fragen und es nicht einfach nehmen. Dadurch lernen sie was Besitz und was Diebstahl ist. Ganz einfache Lektion für das Leben.
You need several shoes in Germany because we have the appropriate weather conditions. You can't send a child to kindergarten in winter with summer shoes. In autumn it is often very rainy so the child needs shoes that keep water out. In summer the child cannot walk around in winter shoes, so he needs summer shoes. And if the child grows quickly, then over the year he will outgrow the shoes and new ones will have to be bought.
For the playground: depending on the age it's good for little kids to learn that they dont get everything just because.. sharing is great but if some kid doesn't want to, then you can't cry and demand it ( from a german mothers standpoint) but i would never tell another kid that they can't play with my kids toys of we brought some to the playground
Hello & best Wishes to India, I'm 53 old German from Dortmund [round about 600.000 inhabitants] and I really enjoyed your reactions to Germany. 'Cause: I'm sure you [and myself!] is never too old to learn something! You are polite and also quite "funny" in your reactions ... I appreciate this! And - of course - not anything is alright in "Deutschland", but [as far as I travelled] meanly "okay" ... a little boring, over-ruled and regulated ... So I have to watch and recognize more Videos by you ... I will learn more! Best wishes Stefan, Dortmund [which is quite close to the Netherlands by the way - Bavaria is about 700 kms / 450 mls away ...]
German her too. 😃 When I saw the wall issue, and that children may actually fall from it, it remember a thing, my parents (and my grandparents, and now my brother) always told me, when I was a kid and, after (or while) they comforted me, when I fell from a wall or tree (I shouldn't have climbing): "What did we say? Learning through pain!", ´cause they actually warned me (or my brother): "Don´t climb the wall! Don´t climb the the tree! (You may fall and get hurt) Don´t stick your hand through the fences! (You may get stucked and hurt)... " And so on. But well... There´s another saying to this: "Wer nicht hören will, muss fühlen!" (Those who refuse to follow rules (or guidelines) shall feel the consequences.) 🤷
2:00 Yeah.. That's true. I mean. Sharing is important but so is standing your ground when someone want's to take your stuff. Kids should share but they should not be forced to want to share! It's always a bit a spur of the moment, like, if somone want's your toy and asks nicely, you should encourage your kid to share. But if another kid just grabs the toy without asking you should back up your kid and say, that your kid does not have to accept that someone is basically stealing their toys! 5:35 yes! My most favourite saying in relation to weather in Germany: "There is no bad weather, there is just poor clothing on your part"! 6:40 I think this should be normal every where! I mean, it's the MOST NATURAL thing to do! I know that there are some stuck up people here in Germany that like to make faces and frown if they see someone br east feed their baby but I think parents should always be able to feed their kids the way they like! And really, it's not like they are hurting anyone by br east feeding their babys right? Who is getting hurt by that?! NO ONE! and sorry, if YOU feel offended by it? DON'T go OUTSIDE! 9:09 I can relate to that! From the childrens side of view!! When I was little, like between 8-13 I visited my grandma almost every school break, like easter, spring and summer break and when my neighbours and I played "burgler and gendarm" (that's a game where you have one "police" that tries to catch all the other kids who play the burglers but it's a Mix between "hide and seek" and "catch me if you can") I used to climb up one of the trees and from the trees onto the Topf of their shack, from there over the roof of their fire wood storage and from this roof onto the roof of their house! Where I sat and waited. The grandma of my neighbours was in shock but my grandma said "Yeah... That's what he does All the time. He knows what he's doing." 😅😅😅 I climbed every object I could as a kid! Like, all the trees, all the lamp posts, fences, garden walls. You name it, i climbed in top of it! And I NEVER fell once. At least I don't remember falling down somewhere! 😅
re: letting your kids climb up everywhere i grew up biculturally and my austrian mom had the exact opposite experience in italy. we'd spend a lot of time in italy when i was a kid. my brother and i would roam around freely, climb up trees and other things etc etc. my mom once mentioned that the italian women would be freaking out about it while my mom was all chill like "oh no worries, my children are fine" she also mentioned that children in italy (or at least in the region why my dad's family is from) would be carried around by adults all the time and that she'd noticed how italian toddlers would be a lot worse at crawling and walking around compared to austrian children i actually remember this one playground in my austrian homtetown that had tiny wooden houses/huts to play in (they were about as tall as an adult) and us children would actually climb onto the roof of those all the time, even though these houses weren't made for this purpose. i don't remember any parent ever making a fuss about it i don't know what it's like in other european countries, but i think here in the german speaking region parents make a point of teaching their children independency. and i think trust also plays a role. by letting us children climb onto trees and walls and things like that we got the chance to explore our own strengths as well as our limits. and my mother trusted us that we would _know_ where our boundaries and limits were and that we would trust our instincts and not do anything we weren't confident about. my brother and i are both in our 20s now and we grew up totally fine, despite especially my brother climbing up trees super high all the time as a kid
Children need to learn their own boundraries. Their own limitations. To be able to do that, they need to be allowed to do stuff. Climbing walls, and trees, falling, swimming, whatever. That doesn't mean you leave them all alone, you watch them and jump in when it gets actually dangerous and I mean seriously-injured / life-threatening dangerous. But the more you let them just do, the more they become capable of handling stuff on their own. And the earlier you start trusting them to watch out for themselves, in an at first limited capacity but with less and less supervision, the better your child get. They trust themselves to try things, they don't get too upset about failing. Yes, that means they'll stop reyling on you as parent sooner. But is that a bad thing? It's your job as parent to prepare your kids for the world and you can't do that by sheltering them from any risk. Hurting yourself is part of life. How you deal with it is what is important. And that also includes something even German parents dislike. Fighting. Getting into fights. I am an educator here. And what I can say about this is: a conflict has to find its own end. It needs to be finished, because if a conflict gets interrupted by parental / adult intervention, that conflict isn't solved. It is suppressed. Which is bad. It needs to be solved. And that requires adults to step out of it. To not try to solve it for the kids. It's something the kids have to do themselves. What you can do is give them tools on how to do it. A certain set of moral rules etc. But that is more work than just intervene instead. Another advantage of letting kids carry out their conflicts is, they'll learn through that to deal with defeat and more importantly ... victory.
Hi guys. I've never seen a kid with eight pair of shoes here to be honest.Kids do have a few pairs,but eight pair is not a normal thing that's for sure. Whenever i go to the playground with my son (6),i just let him climb,jump and whatever.There are situation when i interveen,but i believe we should let the kids do experiments until it goes extremely dangerous.In long term it's better for the kids.Makes them tougher and their decision making will improve. Greetings from Westerwald,Germany.
In regards to the shoes, according to the kindergarten the kids have to have 4-6 pairs of shoes that remain at the daycare at all times (rain boots, sports shoes for inside and outside, house shoes and a pair of regular sneakers or boots to fall back on in case the shoes the kid is wearing break) and then you have the shoes at home, which are usually the same again.
if i count you need summer shoes, winter shoes/boots, sport shoes and rain boots. Maybe if the kid is fast growing, you have to buy them again after 1/2 year thats why she count 8 pair of shoes.
If a Kid would be tumbling in that fence and Then actually Start falling. It would Land in a mothers Arms. Because wants it Starts tumbling in an instant Raster Then superman a Few mums would Sprint there And Catch it
I am Swiss. I agree: kids must be encouraged to share, but they must do it willingly. The discussion about sharing happens at home. We are the same as Germans regarding climbing walls. Shoes: In Germany, it makes sense. 8 is a lot: but shoes must have time to dry before you put them back on. Germans/Swiss/Nordics: they go out whatever the weather, so this drying really is a thing.
Our six year old has the most shoes out of all of us. We have all the shoes she listed. But for the shoes that are not used often I get them second hand. Also the protective gear like rain gear or snow gear, I get them out of season for discounted prices and just get every second size. I also breastfeed everywhere, including the bus or onehanded while shopping. ❤❤❤
I live long enough in Germany, (went also to different schools) to be able to tell you that to teach your kid not to share their toy is a new way of teaching and it looks to me like the kids don't learn later to decide when they want to share. It's a behavior that stays. It's rather like a modern teaching experiment and it makes people more selfish.
It's not about not sharing, it's about YOU decide, Who and when you want to share. You expect people to ASK of they want to share your stuff, don't you?
@@juttapopp1869 I have never seen the parents asking: "Do you want to share? Maybe you could enjoy playing together." That would inspire the kid to share. But it's never really encouraged and taught to share things, it's always just "it's not yours". That's a huge difference, because kids at that age do rather what they are told. And sharing is never encouraged.
@@juttapopp1869 The results of this teaching are visible in adults, too. As a migrant, I am also in touch with other migrants and they also perceive many germans as rude and not welcoming and there's no wonder if that's what they are taught since kindergarden.
hi i am from germany and that with the shoes is depend on the season and weather in sommer there are 2 or 3 pairs in the winter house shoes 4 pairs is not that much in germany i never heard about 8 pairs and that is even for me to much
I went to the beach over 8 months pregnant, bikini. A little boy stared at me, then ran to his mother and I could see he was commenting. She smiled at me, and then she talked to him, and he looked at me and smiled. Then he dragged his mom to me, and asked if he could touch my belly. Of course. He was so happy, so was I. It is a natural thing. Of course you want to loko your best...my best pregnant self, my best 68 year old self (my age now). The best you can be, not the best somebody has decided you should be. I am Swiss, and we are very much like the Austrians, Germans, Nordics for stuff like that!
Eine Schwangere Frau wird immer der schönste Mensch auf der Welt sein. Ein MANN schaut da dann nicht hin um sich aufzugeilen sondern um darauf zu achten das sie sicher ist, ob er helfen muss. Denn sie ist zu schützen, egal ob deine Frau oder eine fremde. Es spielt keine Rollen welche Hautfarbe, Religion oder Kultur sie hat. Sie ist schwanger und damit auf Platz 1 der Schutzbedürftigen.
Great reaction! ❤Regarding the issue: Sure, eight pairs of shoes are expensive. And that's exactly one of the reasons why there is the "Kindergeld" (child benefit) in Germany. From 2023, parents will receive €250 per child per month! For example, a whopping €500 per month for two children!!! You can buy a lot of shoes and clothing with that. And there is a great second-hand culture when it comes to children's clothing or children's shoes. Regarding the "danger" of climbing on that wall: maybe one reason why German parents are a little more careless with their children is that everyone in Germany has universal health care and a broken arm doesn't immediately lead to financial ruin (as it would possibly be in the USA, for example). In this way, children can develop their motor skills and learn to assess risks themselves. They therefore become quite independent early on in comparison to children who grow up under constant surveillance in a germ-free and harmless (idiot-proof) environment. Or, more simply, as my mother would have put it: "You learn from harm." and "dirt cleans the stomach"! - Greetings from Germany!
10:38 Instead of forbidding children to do this kind of stuff parents should simply show them how to do it. It's way better to teach kids the skills required to handle situations on their own.
Na... that's not all German. The shoes e.g., our daughter had a regular pair of shoes, some Boots for raining and snowing weather and some form of slippers for the inside. And they never demanded from us to get more. Also the quality aspect. I know a lot of other couples that don't buy expensive cloths and so on. The kids grow so fast, you just give it to friends and so.
German here, the amount of shoes is over the top xD When I was in pre-school/elementary school I had one pair of outside shoes, then at school each student had a hook on the corridor outside the classroom with long wooden benches, where we'd store inside slippers for school and then i had a pair of trainers for the gym. Also, it's not like german mothers don't care at all if their child does something risky. They do worry, but they also trust their child to learn. When I was little I climbed everywhere. On fences, playgrounds, trees. I have some scars from small slip ups and that taught me how to behave in a situation i was in. The mothers are still right there to ensure you don't seriously hurt yourself. Also we don't practice body positivity, we do body neutrality. Stretch marks, post partum scars are all the most normal thing. No need to look down on it, but also no need to get overly excited about it
I just found your channel and immediately subscribed. You are such a nice and open-minded couple! I hope you can visit Germany one day - or maybe even immigrate? We are actively looking for immigrants at the moment as we have a labour shortage. Basically, all professions, skills and talents are welcome, including students and trainees. I for one would be delighted to have you here!
Yes the most, or a lot of people in Germany would gu to a wild beach because their are no special rules, even high pregnant women, some even don't wear a Bikini or a swimsuite, but posting fotos no, maybe in a very inner circle. Even what you do in puplic it's privat, please don't film it and post wizhout asking before.
There are hardly any major injuries on playgrounds. Children are very resilient and need to learn their own limits. Sometimes it reminds me of a group of monkeys who simply let their little ones play in the 10 meter high trees. Nothing bad will happen.
The sharing thing was not the case in my time and place in Germany. Never. So that has probably changed in the last years. It most likely wasnt just black and white in my day either. Maybe ppl became more keen on improving their kid's confidence and not raising victims and their bullies.
All parents I know or have met on playgrounds teach/taught their children to share. If you don't want anyone to touch your favorite toy, that's fine, but don't take it to the playground then.
I don't think so with the shoes , I'm not from arich and not from a poor familly, but kids in this age needs 2 ur3 times a year new shoes, thats expensive eouph. My mother had 3 kids in a row. Years later she talk to me, it was not easy to boy every Week something to wear , just because it's not big enouph.: Okay sometimes i have to wearsomething from my big sister. but a boy don't like this. Nowadays there are a lot of charing markets in the neighbarhout or internet.
sounds like she was trying to keep up with some snobbish mothers from an expensive tennis club or so...yes kids need a few clothes more cause of the different weather BUT... as they grow fast they barely wear off clothes or shoes so its quiet normal to goto fleamarkets to sell the stuff your kid already grew out of and buy some nice but cheap replacements one size bigger. were not nutz to buy quality stuff new every time they grew another few cm taller ;D
We in Switzerland, we see the Germans as very stingy. Now I know why they are so stingy, because they have only few money left, because of all the kids shoe buying.
3:47 You live in a country where it is always warm. Do you? So you have absoluteley no clue what it is like to walk in an freezing cold area. You have to have really good shoes. BTW in Germany there are 'prescholls' who stay ouit about 95% of the time in the wilderness. So they can teach them the things that are really important in life.
On the concept kids taking risks, I defenetly suggest you watch the Talk at Google by Sara Zaske about Raising self reliant children. She had both the experience in the US and in Germany and does a really good comparison between the overprotective and more hands of approach, as well as a pedagogic explaination about the values this instills in a child.
Swiss German educator here:
Sharing is a way to connect to other people. Offering to share something is begging for connection.
The child has to learn the inner process of sharing and to choose the people you want to share. When to open up, when to protect oneself.
If you force your child to share it will experience sharing as loss and not as positive experience. Especially if the other kid just takes the toy and does not play together with your child.
Do you want to teach your kid to share everything with everyone? To become a person that is always taken advantage of? To learn it can buy "fake" friendships instead of having real connections?
I'm not an educator, but that's what I would have written too, maybe less eloquent.
@AeonSaint The most two important topics in my opinion are sharing and apologizing. Both are complicated actions.
Apologizing without meaning it is not what they have to learn. And to mean it needs time to calm down and to feel sorry and to be sure the apology is accepted. It needs courage. Or maybe the person doesn't deserve a one-sided apology. The other part has to earn it.
We do not force children to share, to say sorry or to say thank you. We model it. Maybe that's why some people think we are rude. But when we say it we mean it.
Exactly, I am Swiss too and I agree.
I totally understand all of your points, and it's very important to learn to set boundaries, but I just don't see where the sharing part is properly taught in Germany.
And as a migrant I see a huge difference between adult migrants and germans even when it comes to sharing time and attention. I think that's why most migrants don't feel welcomed in Germany.
It's also a way learning to set boundaries and this is very healthy ❤
German here. I never thought much about the sharing thing. But now I wonder: why would they share if they don't want to or give another chhild their toy when playing with it just because he or she wants to play with it too. You wouldn't give a stranger your smartphone or tablet just because they want to have it right now, would you? And it's also a question of consent.
German here, too. And maybe this is the first step for a child to say NO. And this NO has to be respected. A good process especially for children, girls, women.
@@klaus2t703 Yes, exactly
Exactly.
@@klaus2t703Consent is so important!
Yes, that's it. The person who owns the item decides whether they want to share it or not. Is it nice to share and should children learn to share? Yes. But they also need to learn that they can't go to another child and just demand/expect to get something that isn't theirs. And they especially don't get to just take it without asking. They need to learn to say no and to accept being told no just as much as they need to learn share.
If you tell children "you can't do it, I'll help you", you make them dependent. Children who manage to climb this wall on their own have the skills necessary to avoid falling down. But if you lift them up, it's dangerous. Unfortunately, I see parents on playgrounds lifting their children up everywhere. This is more dangerous than climbing this wall, because the children do not learn the necessary body control to move safely on their own.
And I bet children don't want to be lifted. I know I wouldn't because climbing by yourself is where the fun part is!
Regarding the shoes, I think you have to keep in mind that the seasons in Germany are quite different. You definitely don't want children to walk inside with snowboots on bringing in snow and dirt. Or let them jump in a puddle and get their shoes wet when it is cold outside. So I can imagine that German kids need a few more shoes than Indian kids. But what she said is true, shoes are taken very seriously in Germany. As an Austrian I thinknit makes sense though. If you want healthy feet and be able to walk a lot, you cannot damage them from an eatly age with bad footwear.
Good shoes are some of the most important things you can buy.
Also, not every shoe works in all weather conditions and on all grounds. Like, sports facilities won‘t let you in if you do not have the proper shoes and the shoes you wear would be either unsafe (and cause injuries to you when doing sports) or would damage a high tech flooring in the sports facility… Sandals are apparently not in order during a snow storm, for a walk in a muddy field or forest, rainboots are appropriate. For a hike up a stony mountain, shows with thick soles are required as flimsy flip-flops will cause accidents.. Etc. etc.
Swiss here: I agree!
Well, if you use the saying "There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing." (which seem to exist as a very well know saying in all Germanic languages but English) as a rule for life you do need apropirate clothes and footwear.
we have strong and free Children......thats good for her Live
I work in a Daycare and 8 Pairs of shoes is insane. We have maybe 3. One type for Inside, one for outside and A pair of Rainboots. Thats the norm for us. Im from North West Germany. And with the sharing. Yes we do say that the Kids dont have to share the Toy they are playing with at the Moment, but that doesnt mean they never have to share. At the Daycare for example We have a Toy that ist very popular among the Kids, but only one at a time can play with it. Its a little Traktor you can sit on and drive. Many Kids want to drive it. With such a Thing of course they have to share. One kid has a certain amount of Time on it and the others have to wait their turn. The Kids would rather drive with it All the Time but have to let the other have a turn too and share the Toy Traktor. So yes a first Reaktion is to not have to share but that doesnt mean they never have to or are never encouraged to share.
Its also a matter of Asking to share or just taking. Even 2 Year Old children can Start learning to ask if they can play with something another child is playing with. The Response from german Parents she talked about probably happens when a child just takes takes a Toy. They should ask and See wether the other child declines or not. I think they should learn that they cant always have everything they ask for imediatly. The child playing with the Toy might be fine with sharing the Toy if asked. The Adult can help the children reach an agreement. Like the kid that asked can have it After 5 min or something. Asking is just very important here. Its important for later in life when they are older. You cant just take something from a friend without Asking. That would be Rude and might lead to problems.
@@Ewi-wf2hf So true, otherwise they become entitled brats.
@Ewi-wf2hf It's not as crazy as you think.
Don't forget that she also included sports shoes (which are required at school). In addition - she's living in the south of Germany. There's a lot of snow in the winter so snow boots make sense as well.
And lastly (she even mentioned that in the video) she had to buy a few new shoes because her daughter grew out of the old ones. That has nothing to do with school or Kindergarten or daycare, that's just children growing.
Here in Northern Germany kids don't need that many shoes - it hardly ever snows so they definetly don't need snowboots for example.
Don't forget that you need inside shoes at home as well, and maybe a pair of rainboots for the weekends. Plus, in snowy areas you need snowboots, then she mentioned normal boots, which are probably "Übergangsschuhe", for Spring and Autumn and Turnschlappen for indoor excercise and sports shoes for outside sports/after school sports. I live in Austria, and we can easily make it up to 8 pairs in the whole year, with sandals and growing feet.
Yeah 3 shoes but you need the same lot for home (at least rain boots and house shoes) and then maybe sandals, plus winter shoes, plus maybe sports shoes (our daycare requests it) so that makes 7 already ;)
And sharing: I agree. But there's a massive difference between sharing _your_ toy and sharing a toy in kindergarten (which is common property). I have 2 kids age 3 and 5, and a lot of toys are "common", so either can have them, but some favourites that were gifts or well beloved are property of one kid and off limits to the other except if they asked...
Min 4:39, duh?!? In India it's almost always warm, in Germany it can be any temperature from -25 to +42 or so, so you need shoes for any type of temperature. I spend up to 6 months out of the year in India, and bring precisely one pair of shoes, namely flip flops, whereas in Germany I have at least 30 pairs,all of which I do actually use.
-25 ain't happening
where in germany? when?
@@bta7658 it's about the lowest I ever remember in my lifetime, -20/25, years and years ago. And +42 is about the highest that I recall, ever. But it doesn't really matter, does it, re my point? This very last winter it was -10,-11 at some point, and I just wore my normal winter clothes, that I would have worn at 0 degrees, or -20, likewise. What point are you trying to make, even?
@@bta7658 so if I ve experienced -20 down in the Bavarian countryside, it stands to reason that up there on Zugspitze it will have been -25, or lower. So my entire, very , very obvious point was that, unlike in India, people in Germany naturally need many more pairs of shoes. For snow, ice, skiing, hiking in summer, hiking when it's cold, cool but not cold weather, slightly warm weather, warm weather, hot weather etc etc.. When I go to India, I literally need to account for the weather in Germany upon my return,so I might have to bring a pair of boots, winter coat, thick scarf, thick pants and jumper, just ONE OF EACH, which, together, easily fill more than half of my humongous suitcase,and that I will never use even once in 6 months in India, just for when I arrive at the airport in Germany, in March. So what's your point, then?
We had -23 some years ago in Bamberg. And my daughters school was going to go sledding on that day.
@@bta7658Februar 2021
If a kid get hurt, nearly every German (you need it if you want to get a drivers license in Germany) is trained in first aid,
and the ambulance took about ten mins to head in after the emergency call.
If protection is not granted so recovery is!
When I got hurt, I often did not tell it my parents. Cut with a knife? Quick trip into the garage, plaster around and back to the forrest. Bloody feet because I wanted to show off and went bare feet into the forrest? Do not admit the mistake! Let it bleed 😂.
As children we had scratches, cuts, bloody knees blue spots on legs and arms all the time. My mother sometimes feared that others thought we would be abused. In reality we went to war with wooden spears, swords and axes in the forrest against the boys of the neighboring village, fought over huts and berry bushes and almost everything you could fight over😂. Great times. No worries, no responsibility aside from homework.
@@jarlnils435 Yeah!! It was the same with me! I always hat cuts and bruises from climbing, walking bare foot, doing St u pid stuff like hopping fences and falling on my face! But that never stoped me from doing it again. I don't remember ever from falling down a tree or sth I climbed on. Once I dir these mokey bar things and I (stu pid ly) tried to skipp three of the bars at once on purpose. Well, i missed the fourth and fell plain on my stomach. I could not breath for Idk one minute, my oder cousin who was watch ing me paniked. After that I stood up and did the monkey bars again! This time skipping only two bars and not three. Because I learned: "three is to many. Stick with two!"
But Yeah.. My teachers acutally asked me if I was ab used by my parents because of the bruises. You can imagine how pi ssed my parents were, when I told them the teacher had asked me that! They were livid! My parents never ever laid there hands on me. It was a shock to them, finding out my teacher would ask me that!
It is not really only about body positivity. It is also about I don't care.
You don't like how I look in a swim suit, bikini, white socks in sandals? Well, that is a you problem. I do not care.
GenX?
@@Asperger0815
I don't think so.
GenX is an American thing.
I was born in the years that Americans would call Gen X, in Germany there is the Generation Golf. And I don't fit in this either because I was born and grew up in East Germany. I have completely other experiances that someone from the US or West Germany born the same year.
You just can't classify people after the year they were born. That is stupid.
@@helloweener2007 LOL!
Westler hier. Allerdings kann ich mit vielem, dass die Amis erzählen was anfangen. Besonders mit dem permanent ignoriert werden von den Eltern -.-
Und ja, zu meiner Schande muss ich gestehen, ich hatte ein Erbeerkörbchen. In weiß 🤣
I think the reason for many difference between Germany and US, India, newzealand and many more countries is that Germany was never parth of the british commonwealth
another reason
universal health insurance
In the EU, by law, all children have health insurance, so even if something happens, the hospital will cover it
in the USA it is a one-way ticket to bankruptcy
German body confidence: You will see people of all sizes, age and gender .. sitting completely nude in a mixed sauna.
That's east germany, we try to avoid them
@@jarlnils435 I don´t consider myself as an East German.
@@jarlnils435 no, same in west germany too
In Germany you get 250€ per kid/month from teh government. So yes you need a specific level of money, but you also get some help from the government
It's not 250 Euro...
@@JeanEtte-h1n as I do t have children I just googled it and that was the given answer: that from 2023 it is 250€ for each kid, before that the first 2 children received less kindergeld
@@JeanEtte-h1ndoch, für das erste, ab dem 2. (Oder 3.) ändert sich das
@@JeanEtte-h1n it is. per child 250,00€ per month "child support" from the goverment. But you can apply for other helpful option.
@@JeanEtte-h1n I think you are a tad outdated since 2023 it's 250 per kid, no gradation with amount either
Shoes and clothes are also often passed on to friends or acquaintances. So you don't always buy everything new.
i think every german child must climb to the highest tree they saw...if he or she fell and broke a bone they learn about it.thats life!!your mistakes you never forget.but when you grow up with no mistakes you are the tiny little person in the backround .......and alone..hehe
I've climbed so many trees and never fell down. It's just something you learn early on. My mom was once picking cherries on a tree (as an adult) and the branch she was sitting on broke, she grabbed the full bucket and jumped from the falling branch to the next one. Was shocked, but climbed down and had saved the cherries. Now she's over 70 and still picks cherries from trees. That just works, when you start early on. I'm climbing on trees with my son as well 🙂
@@viomouseRight! I was picking cherries as a kid, too, and it was so much fun. Never fell. Only rule with the cherry tree was that an adult had to be within sight. But we also had an apple tree that only had thick enough branches on the height of about 2 meters, so we were allowed to climb on that one on our own. It was so much fun and also very cool to pick your own fruits. I liked to eat fruits a lot more when impacted them myself
When I was 5 or so I fell from an oak. Banged my head and knee.
When I was back at the garden my mother noticed the backside of my shirt was missing and my back all scratched up.
It did not hurt. I got spray bandage.
What really hurt, was getting my pajamas of the next day. The scabs fused with the cloth.
Re children's clothes : since children grow out of their clothes so fast there are second-hand shops and charity sales and flea markets for children's clothes all over Germany and there is NO NEED to buy everything new !!
And I never heard of a kindergarten that asks for that diversity of shoes !! That you need boots and snow boots in winter goes without saying !!
not only that, in the company when a child is born, all mothers who have older children will give the "young" mother everything she needs for a newborn
so in my company, when a colleague's child was born, he received clothes for 3 years in advance, plus the company paid for diapers for the whole year
I let my kids climb high. But I usually stand below in case of a fall. Still my kids have had some pretty bad falls when I wasen't expecting them, luckily nothing bad happened.
im from germany, wheni grew up i also only had regular shoes and sports shoes, maybe rain boots. and winter boots for winter😅
As a now adult german kid😁 :Please, sharingloving parents, could you imaging from the viewe of your child, the meanig of being forced to give away your most beloved Toy, to an other kid your kid may don't like? How gruel is your hard, only show up that you are an open minded "Good People" to non related strangers? Didn't realize what you destroy in only one moment inside your kid? May I introduce a bit by asking: "How you would feel beeing forced to sharing your spouse with someone? -Exactly, i hope now you got it!" Not everything is to share, the decission about, is the kid human right! 👋😇👍
Sharing a toy and sharing a wife are two extremely different things, don't you think? And I hope we grow up and learn to share the things that make sense and that not all emotional decisions are good, not even for us. Unfortunately, to learn this distinction is never really a topic in Germany. Telling from a migrant who is living long time in Germany. It's good to learn when and what to share. It looks to me that a lot of rudeness comes from the fact that many people never learn to share.
@@kape2469 Please read carefully, from the child's perspective, the most popular toy is everything ! You came up with a platonic illegitimate argument, that obvisauly sharing a toy and a spouse is something different. Wise guy, and with the basic trust destroyed, you explain to the 2 1/2 year old child that it now has to slowly grow up and learn to share. In the same way, and with the same ignorance, you can be asked to be mature and less selfish, less emotional, learn what you are forced to share, when and with whom. You will not be asked if that would be your spouse. Your second-hand expertise, from someone you know, with a different cultural background who has lived with the evil Germans for many years, convinced me one hundred percent. Did you understand that? Which of us both would the 2 1/2 year old child describe as rude? We learn to share in the right age and under the right conditions. With the hubris of an adult you treat a child like an adult? Bravo. Maybe you'll visit the Germans on your own to form your own opinion. But unfortunately you seem to be the expert for the germans, with sentences like: "Unfortunately, to learn this distinction is never really a topic in Germany." So you see we germans are able to share ... our opinions. My international collaguas enjoy and love it. 😇
@@kape2469 Thats why a good Kita or Daycare is so important, kids learn to socialize better, learn to fight their own battles to an extent, and have experiences where they do not have Mommy or Daddy nearby. It also often enables a huge jump in their vocabulary and abillity to express themselves better.
@@kape2469 You don't get it. Are you so in love with your anti-german sentiments, that pick out of the box the second-hand opinion from a not cultural related Expert from an other country? Bravo, you convinced me totaly (ironic)!!! May you have the chance to meet germans in person, bevor talking BS. Hope you catch the original meaning of my first comment.... before having own kids. I wish it for the kids...
@@kape2469Teaching one's children to kling to stuff instead of sharing is stupid and rude. I have only witnessed that once, though - a mother in the playground barked " that is NOt YOURS!!!" and ripped the shovel off a toddler, while her own child did not even mind him taking it! Apart from people who are apparently mentally unstable like her, I have never seen such behavior. We do teach children to share, but also to be polite and ASK if you can have something rather than just taking it.
I also people I talked about this consider the children freedom the best times of our lives, times when you can climb whatever you want any tree, walls roofs even and the worst thing that can happen is some grumpy old man telling you to not climb his roof, exploring forests with your friends, getting chased by a boar and tbh even with our very safe streets and roads I would say that such adventures are much safer than being around cars, ofc our parents were always afraid but never stopped us from having our adventures and fun besides the worst that can happen is a broken leg or arm or few bruises, nothing doctors and children body wouldn't heal.
Helping grandparents doing wood with an axe, do the garden chores, help with repairing house like handing bricks and so on... it's just awesome because kids from young age know what is dangerous what to expect from certain things. It might seem dangerous to let kids climb trees and have them chopping wood with an axe but in opposite it teaches them to be careful.
What Antoinette says about the shoes is extreme. I needed 3 pairs of shoes for our children in kindergarten. The obligatory slippers (dirt stays outside), rain boots for bad weather, and seasonal outdoor shoes. When there is snow outside, snow boots actually make sense. Here where I live, we have snow once every 2 years for a few days, so it's not worth it. But we have a lot of rain, so rain boots are essential. But also rain pants and rain jackets, because the children are often outside for hours and simply have to stay dry.
Here in Denmark we welcome these women proudly showing their bellies. always so welcome and many with tears in their eyes of joy
About the toys: imagin an adult walks towards you and grabs your phone just bc they want to. You would be obviously angry bc this was an act of rudness. It's the same with children. How could they understand this if we don't explain and teach them this early on?
I think it is important to let your child decide whether to share or not. I wouldn't share somthing which is important to me with someone I dont know. First I need to be sure that I wont get it back broken. If my child decides to share its toy after some time playing next to or with the other child, it is a sign of trust and a special moment for both children. And maybe its the start of a friendship.
Also, sharing doesnt have to mean "give it away, so someone else can play with it". Sometimes it means "playing together" 😊
Children have to learn setting personal boundaries early in life. It builds confidence and a sense of self
Regarding children wear: you will find second hand shops at many places, so you can afford it. Its not always necessarry to buy new items.
2:50 we also share in germany, but we let our kids usually decide if they wanna share or not. sooner or later the kids will share the toys, bcs they run into a situation where they wanna play with toys from other kids and have to see if they are ok with sharing. learning by doing :) imo better than to teach your kid that it has to share no matter what and the other kid thinks its ok to grab whatever it wants.
11:32 they are not worried because they "trained" their kid with baby steps and of course we hold their hands or waist in the beginning, later we are just there to catch them until we know they can do it alone...
You see the outcome of years training. I would have been scared too if my kid hasn't balanced anything in her life before...
Children learn. They also have to learn that their own toys belong to them and that they can decide who uses them. If you want to use another child's toy you have to ask and not just take it. This teaches them what possession is and what theft is. Very simple life lesson.
Kinder lernen. So müssen sie auch lernen das ihr eigenes Spielzeug ihnen gehört und sie entscheiden dürfen wer es benutzt. Wenn sie ein Spielzeug von einem anderen Kind benutzen möchten müssen sie fragen und es nicht einfach nehmen. Dadurch lernen sie was Besitz und was Diebstahl ist. Ganz einfache Lektion für das Leben.
You need several shoes in Germany because we have the appropriate weather conditions. You can't send a child to kindergarten in winter with summer shoes. In autumn it is often very rainy so the child needs shoes that keep water out. In summer the child cannot walk around in winter shoes, so he needs summer shoes. And if the child grows quickly, then over the year he will outgrow the shoes and new ones will have to be bought.
For the playground:
depending on the age it's good for little kids to learn that they dont get everything just because.. sharing is great but if some kid doesn't want to, then you can't cry and demand it ( from a german mothers standpoint) but i would never tell another kid that they can't play with my kids toys of we brought some to the playground
Hello & best Wishes to India,
I'm 53 old German from Dortmund [round about 600.000 inhabitants] and I really enjoyed your reactions to Germany. 'Cause: I'm sure you [and myself!] is never too old to learn something!
You are polite and also quite "funny" in your reactions ... I appreciate this!
And - of course - not anything is alright in "Deutschland", but [as far as I travelled] meanly "okay" ... a little boring, over-ruled and regulated ...
So I have to watch and recognize more Videos by you ... I will learn more!
Best wishes
Stefan, Dortmund [which is quite close to the Netherlands by the way - Bavaria is about 700 kms / 450 mls away ...]
German her too. 😃
When I saw the wall issue, and that children may actually fall from it, it remember a thing, my parents (and my grandparents, and now my brother) always told me, when I was a kid and, after (or while) they comforted me, when I fell from a wall or tree (I shouldn't have climbing): "What did we say? Learning through pain!", ´cause they actually warned me (or my brother): "Don´t climb the wall! Don´t climb the the tree! (You may fall and get hurt) Don´t stick your hand through the fences! (You may get stucked and hurt)... " And so on.
But well... There´s another saying to this: "Wer nicht hören will, muss fühlen!" (Those who refuse to follow rules (or guidelines) shall feel the consequences.) 🤷
Forest kinder gardens do also exist in Germany
2:00 Yeah.. That's true. I mean. Sharing is important but so is standing your ground when someone want's to take your stuff. Kids should share but they should not be forced to want to share! It's always a bit a spur of the moment, like, if somone want's your toy and asks nicely, you should encourage your kid to share. But if another kid just grabs the toy without asking you should back up your kid and say, that your kid does not have to accept that someone is basically stealing their toys!
5:35 yes! My most favourite saying in relation to weather in Germany: "There is no bad weather, there is just poor clothing on your part"!
6:40 I think this should be normal every where! I mean, it's the MOST NATURAL thing to do! I know that there are some stuck up people here in Germany that like to make faces and frown if they see someone br east feed their baby but I think parents should always be able to feed their kids the way they like! And really, it's not like they are hurting anyone by br east feeding their babys right? Who is getting hurt by that?! NO ONE! and sorry, if YOU feel offended by it? DON'T go OUTSIDE!
9:09 I can relate to that! From the childrens side of view!! When I was little, like between 8-13 I visited my grandma almost every school break, like easter, spring and summer break and when my neighbours and I played "burgler and gendarm" (that's a game where you have one "police" that tries to catch all the other kids who play the burglers but it's a Mix between "hide and seek" and "catch me if you can") I used to climb up one of the trees and from the trees onto the Topf of their shack, from there over the roof of their fire wood storage and from this roof onto the roof of their house! Where I sat and waited. The grandma of my neighbours was in shock but my grandma said "Yeah... That's what he does All the time. He knows what he's doing." 😅😅😅 I climbed every object I could as a kid! Like, all the trees, all the lamp posts, fences, garden walls. You name it, i climbed in top of it! And I NEVER fell once. At least I don't remember falling down somewhere! 😅
re: letting your kids climb up everywhere
i grew up biculturally and my austrian mom had the exact opposite experience in italy. we'd spend a lot of time in italy when i was a kid. my brother and i would roam around freely, climb up trees and other things etc etc. my mom once mentioned that the italian women would be freaking out about it while my mom was all chill like "oh no worries, my children are fine"
she also mentioned that children in italy (or at least in the region why my dad's family is from) would be carried around by adults all the time and that she'd noticed how italian toddlers would be a lot worse at crawling and walking around compared to austrian children
i actually remember this one playground in my austrian homtetown that had tiny wooden houses/huts to play in (they were about as tall as an adult) and us children would actually climb onto the roof of those all the time, even though these houses weren't made for this purpose. i don't remember any parent ever making a fuss about it
i don't know what it's like in other european countries, but i think here in the german speaking region parents make a point of teaching their children independency. and i think trust also plays a role. by letting us children climb onto trees and walls and things like that we got the chance to explore our own strengths as well as our limits. and my mother trusted us that we would _know_ where our boundaries and limits were and that we would trust our instincts and not do anything we weren't confident about. my brother and i are both in our 20s now and we grew up totally fine, despite especially my brother climbing up trees super high all the time as a kid
Children need to learn their own boundraries. Their own limitations.
To be able to do that, they need to be allowed to do stuff. Climbing walls, and trees, falling, swimming, whatever.
That doesn't mean you leave them all alone, you watch them and jump in when it gets actually dangerous and I mean seriously-injured / life-threatening dangerous.
But the more you let them just do, the more they become capable of handling stuff on their own. And the earlier you start trusting them to watch out for themselves, in an at first limited capacity but with less and less supervision, the better your child get.
They trust themselves to try things, they don't get too upset about failing. Yes, that means they'll stop reyling on you as parent sooner. But is that a bad thing?
It's your job as parent to prepare your kids for the world and you can't do that by sheltering them from any risk.
Hurting yourself is part of life. How you deal with it is what is important.
And that also includes something even German parents dislike. Fighting. Getting into fights.
I am an educator here. And what I can say about this is: a conflict has to find its own end. It needs to be finished, because if a conflict gets interrupted by parental / adult intervention, that conflict isn't solved. It is suppressed.
Which is bad. It needs to be solved. And that requires adults to step out of it. To not try to solve it for the kids. It's something the kids have to do themselves.
What you can do is give them tools on how to do it. A certain set of moral rules etc. But that is more work than just intervene instead.
Another advantage of letting kids carry out their conflicts is, they'll learn through that to deal with defeat and more importantly ... victory.
Hi guys.
I've never seen a kid with eight pair of shoes here to be honest.Kids do have a few pairs,but eight pair is not a normal thing that's for sure.
Whenever i go to the playground with my son (6),i just let him climb,jump and whatever.There are situation when i interveen,but i believe we should let the kids do experiments until it goes extremely dangerous.In long term it's better for the kids.Makes them tougher and their decision making will improve.
Greetings from Westerwald,Germany.
german here. it is also very normal that mums and dads are nude at the lake when they paly with their kids
In regards to the shoes, according to the kindergarten the kids have to have 4-6 pairs of shoes that remain at the daycare at all times (rain boots, sports shoes for inside and outside, house shoes and a pair of regular sneakers or boots to fall back on in case the shoes the kid is wearing break) and then you have the shoes at home, which are usually the same again.
if i count you need summer shoes, winter shoes/boots, sport shoes and rain boots. Maybe if the kid is fast growing, you have to buy them again after 1/2 year thats why she count 8 pair of shoes.
If a Kid would be tumbling in that fence and Then actually Start falling.
It would Land in a mothers Arms. Because wants it Starts tumbling in an instant Raster Then superman a Few mums would Sprint there And Catch it
The two of you are adorable! I am sure your kids are very happy xx
Gutes schuhwerk ist in kinderjahren wichtig damit die Füsse keine fehlstellung entwickeln.
The law of the street, the strongest wins. Even small children have this instinct: you cry, you lose...
I am Swiss. I agree: kids must be encouraged to share, but they must do it willingly. The discussion about sharing happens at home. We are the same as Germans regarding climbing walls. Shoes: In Germany, it makes sense. 8 is a lot: but shoes must have time to dry before you put them back on. Germans/Swiss/Nordics: they go out whatever the weather, so this drying really is a thing.
Our six year old has the most shoes out of all of us. We have all the shoes she listed. But for the shoes that are not used often I get them second hand. Also the protective gear like rain gear or snow gear, I get them out of season for discounted prices and just get every second size. I also breastfeed everywhere, including the bus or onehanded while shopping. ❤❤❤
I live long enough in Germany, (went also to different schools) to be able to tell you that to teach your kid not to share their toy is a new way of teaching and it looks to me like the kids don't learn later to decide when they want to share. It's a behavior that stays. It's rather like a modern teaching experiment and it makes people more selfish.
It's not about not sharing, it's about YOU decide, Who and when you want to share. You expect people to ASK of they want to share your stuff, don't you?
Exactly. I have only once seen a mum do that on the playground and I found it exceptionally rude and stupid.
@@juttapopp1869No, you don't decide whether you want to share or not. The other person must ask, but you must say yes - or leave the thing at home.
@@juttapopp1869 I have never seen the parents asking: "Do you want to share? Maybe you could enjoy playing together." That would inspire the kid to share. But it's never really encouraged and taught to share things, it's always just "it's not yours". That's a huge difference, because kids at that age do rather what they are told. And sharing is never encouraged.
@@juttapopp1869 The results of this teaching are visible in adults, too. As a migrant, I am also in touch with other migrants and they also perceive many germans as rude and not welcoming and there's no wonder if that's what they are taught since kindergarden.
hi i am from germany and that with the shoes is depend on the season and weather in sommer there are 2 or 3 pairs in the winter house shoes 4 pairs is not that much in germany i never heard about 8 pairs and that is even for me to much
I went to the beach over 8 months pregnant, bikini. A little boy stared at me, then ran to his mother and I could see he was commenting. She smiled at me, and then she talked to him, and he looked at me and smiled. Then he dragged his mom to me, and asked if he could touch my belly. Of course. He was so happy, so was I. It is a natural thing. Of course you want to loko your best...my best pregnant self, my best 68 year old self (my age now). The best you can be, not the best somebody has decided you should be. I am Swiss, and we are very much like the Austrians, Germans, Nordics for stuff like that!
Eine Schwangere Frau wird immer der schönste Mensch auf der Welt sein.
Ein MANN schaut da dann nicht hin um sich aufzugeilen sondern um darauf zu achten das sie sicher ist, ob er helfen muss. Denn sie ist zu schützen, egal ob deine Frau oder eine fremde.
Es spielt keine Rollen welche Hautfarbe, Religion oder Kultur sie hat. Sie ist schwanger und damit auf Platz 1 der Schutzbedürftigen.
Great reaction! ❤Regarding the issue: Sure, eight pairs of shoes are expensive. And that's exactly one of the reasons why there is the "Kindergeld" (child benefit) in Germany. From 2023, parents will receive €250 per child per month! For example, a whopping €500 per month for two children!!! You can buy a lot of shoes and clothing with that. And there is a great second-hand culture when it comes to children's clothing or children's shoes. Regarding the "danger" of climbing on that wall: maybe one reason why German parents are a little more careless with their children is that everyone in Germany has universal health care and a broken arm doesn't immediately lead to financial ruin (as it would possibly be in the USA, for example). In this way, children can develop their motor skills and learn to assess risks themselves. They therefore become quite independent early on in comparison to children who grow up under constant surveillance in a germ-free and harmless (idiot-proof) environment. Or, more simply, as my mother would have put it: "You learn from harm." and "dirt cleans the stomach"! - Greetings from Germany!
In Wintertimes you need Boots with extra Grip. Of course 8 Pairs of Shoes are too much
Are babies in other countries expected to starve, so that strangers won't get their prudish feelings hurt?
Sounds strange to me, but hey.
I love the Indian accent, it is so sweet and lovely!
I am also German but I was educated differently we shared everything or blew it up together... 😅
10:38 Instead of forbidding children to do this kind of stuff parents should simply show them how to do it.
It's way better to teach kids the skills required to handle situations on their own.
Na... that's not all German. The shoes e.g., our daughter had a regular pair of shoes, some Boots for raining and snowing weather and some form of slippers for the inside. And they never demanded from us to get more. Also the quality aspect. I know a lot of other couples that don't buy expensive cloths and so on. The kids grow so fast, you just give it to friends and so.
German here, the amount of shoes is over the top xD
When I was in pre-school/elementary school I had one pair of outside shoes, then at school each student had a hook on the corridor outside the classroom with long wooden benches, where we'd store inside slippers for school and then i had a pair of trainers for the gym.
Also, it's not like german mothers don't care at all if their child does something risky. They do worry, but they also trust their child to learn. When I was little I climbed everywhere. On fences, playgrounds, trees. I have some scars from small slip ups and that taught me how to behave in a situation i was in. The mothers are still right there to ensure you don't seriously hurt yourself.
Also we don't practice body positivity, we do body neutrality. Stretch marks, post partum scars are all the most normal thing. No need to look down on it, but also no need to get overly excited about it
If the parents are unemployed the state will pay for everything the school requires.. Greetings from Germany😊
Unfortunately, that is not true. The state does contribute, but not pay for everything.
I just found your channel and immediately subscribed. You are such a nice and open-minded couple! I hope you can visit Germany one day - or maybe even immigrate? We are actively looking for immigrants at the moment as we have a labour shortage. Basically, all professions, skills and talents are welcome, including students and trainees. I for one would be delighted to have you here!
One person is not automatically all parents
As a child I have walked into the walls 1.5 meter high so nothing wrong with it.
Lady and Gentleman
Children need to have risk protected risk so they feel and react to win and loose 😊😊
Yes the most, or a lot of people in Germany would gu to a wild beach because their are no special rules, even high pregnant women, some even don't wear a Bikini or a swimsuite, but posting fotos no, maybe in a very inner circle. Even what you do in puplic it's privat, please don't film it and post wizhout asking before.
There are hardly any major injuries on playgrounds. Children are very resilient and need to learn their own limits. Sometimes it reminds me of a group of monkeys who simply let their little ones play in the 10 meter high trees. Nothing bad will happen.
The sharing thing was not the case in my time and place in Germany. Never. So that has probably changed in the last years.
It most likely wasnt just black and white in my day either.
Maybe ppl became more keen on improving their kid's confidence and not raising victims and their bullies.
8 pair of shoes is excessive... I wouldn't have done it and I'm from Germany ;)
It would be a fine gesture, if you would put a link to the original video, so it doesn't look, like you are stealing it.😉
I dont share my car with other people...🙂
Oooh! Germans learn : what’s yours is yours , no need to share with strangers!!! 🚨🚨🚨 alarming! No. Just simply not your cup of tea!
All parents I know or have met on playgrounds teach/taught their children to share. If you don't want anyone to touch your favorite toy, that's fine, but don't take it to the playground then.
I don't think so with the shoes , I'm not from arich and not from a poor familly, but kids in this age needs 2 ur3 times a year new shoes, thats expensive eouph. My mother had 3 kids in a row. Years later she talk to me, it was not easy to boy every Week something to wear , just because it's not big enouph.: Okay sometimes i have to wearsomething from my big sister. but a boy don't like this. Nowadays there are a lot of charing markets in the neighbarhout or internet.
Thats a special Kindergarten which needs so much shoes.
sounds like she was trying to keep up with some snobbish mothers from an expensive tennis club or so...yes kids need a few clothes more cause of the different weather BUT... as they grow fast they barely wear off clothes or shoes so its quiet normal to goto fleamarkets to sell the stuff your kid already grew out of and buy some nice but cheap replacements one size bigger. were not nutz to buy quality stuff new every time they grew another few cm taller ;D
Nah 8 pairs are a lot 😂
We in Switzerland, we see the Germans as very stingy. Now I know why they are so stingy, because they have only few money left, because of all the kids shoe buying.
8 Paar Schuhe kaufen Blödsinn
3:47 You live in a country where it is always warm. Do you? So you have absoluteley no clue what it is like to walk in an freezing cold area. You have to have really good shoes. BTW in Germany there are 'prescholls' who stay ouit about 95% of the time in the wilderness. So they can teach them the things that are really important in life.
On the concept kids taking risks, I defenetly suggest you watch the Talk at Google by Sara Zaske about Raising self reliant children. She had both the experience in the US and in Germany and does a really good comparison between the overprotective and more hands of approach, as well as a pedagogic explaination about the values this instills in a child.
You are arguing about things when you are not able to have a background in a equal color. Just cut your hair, or is it because of reigious disbeliefs.