Years ago, when reading Eckart Tolle's book, A New Earth, I was given the gift of this understanding. In his words, from his own experience, it isn't the "I" who wants to die, it is the ego. It is the Ego, or a part of the Ego that wants/needs to die. And after I understood that, so much made sense. Suicidal thoughts no longer had the power of fear over me. I just realized "Oh, something needs to die off", and I sat with it, and allowed it. Now, my ego no longer needs to go to that extreme to get my attention, to let something go...when I start to feel the twinge or nudge, I turn and look at it. I ask it, I listen, I sit. Sometimes I cry, other times I talk to it and grieve or hold it and love it. Whatever it needs. Thank you for being vulnerable and authentic Kyle. We know that's your style, and we so appreciate it.I have come so far from that scared 11 year old girl, who just wanted God to take her, because she didn't want to live through the pain anymore.There is so much LIFE to experience, Everywhere and Anywhere in the Universe. And So It Is
Wow, I have been struggling for years.. Never thought that it might be a pattern... I am an artist.. Sometimes I just want to stop, and throw everything away... Very stressful.. I do paint A LOT , of butterflies... LOL..
This message would have helped my husband. He took his life on February 26, 2024. Your loving openness on this topic helps me understand even better what he was going through. He was ready for a breakthrough, he just didn't know it.
Kyle just drips with compassion. Even the tone of his voice is compassionate. A person who teaches about something because they’ve experienced it firsthand. That is true teaching.
My mother Françoise killed herself in 1998 aged 74 years old ,Two years ago I suffered chronic depression due to a betrayal by relatives ,I accepted to go to a psychiatric unit ,the antidepressant Mirtazapine and doctors saved me .
I’m 72 an incest survivor & attempted suicide in my 30s after my father attempted abuse again as an adult of course I refused but I am still tortured by suicidal thoughts on a weekly basis , 3 years of therapy didn’t help. My children are all adult & live far away, I see them once a year. The only thing keeps me here is my little dog who is 12 years old , I think if she goes I would want to leave this dimension. I’ve had chronic fatigue many years , I’m often bedridden and isolated , my partner & many friends have died or moved away & sadly I haven’t birthed a whole new life. Thank you for speaking about this
I can really feel you in this. I've had CFS for about 10 years, I'm 35. I've lived with my parents for four years now. My parents and I just moved across the country and I saw a friend only once in the last year. All my friends have gotten married and live far away. I've been a loner for a long time. Fortunately, my health has vastly improved but the loneliness remains. If there's anything I can do to help you with CFS, please let me know. I'm sure you've tried everything, like I did. In the end, I ended up working with a deeply-spiritually oriented and compassionate coach and while challenges certainly still arise, I'm able to see things a bit more clearly which takes pressure off my system.
@@LakesTreesSo good to know you improving, sorry for your Lonliness. I’m currently re training my brain to safety because part of chronic fatigue is being stuck in fight or flight , hypervigilance & this method is healing thousands of people. 54 million people globally are suffering long covid same symptoms as CF !! I got long covid on top off CF but finally having improvement ❤
I have been telling my son’s ex-gf this today. The abuse she & her siblings endured by their father has put him in prison for life as of 12 months ago. It’s a rebirth time now like she never could have experienced before the abuse & during the criminal trial period. It’s the 12 month anniversary of the life sentence & she had fallen apart. She is such a beautiful person. I love this young lady & she deserves to live & live well.
I wouldn't want to come back but I would feel really bad for my family, that's the only reason I never really think about it seriously. When I have these thoughts I know it's not something I will ever do, unless I'm in permanent physical pain that's impossible to tolerate. I am willing to be ok with emotional pain for now. I know things are unfolding the way they are supposed to.
I love this! I lost my husband of 23 years in 2017 to suicide. He was creative, smart, kind, sensitive, and an overall wonderful man. He had just graduated as a doctor of pharmacy 9 months before he died at 41 years old. He didn’t want to be a pharmacist, and I know this contributed to his feelings of hopelessness. It’s been quite the journey without him, but it’s brought me to people like you, who challenge me to investigate who I really am and to break old patterns and realize my highest potential. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m very grateful for you. I’m reading your book ‘I hope I screw this up.’ it’s the only one I haven’t read yet, and I love it. I loved them all. Thank you! ❤❤❤
@@lisathomas1622No I will not because it’s a HUGE killer and many of us who have been severely injured KNOW! There needs to be awareness around this! lol at the labels and side affects of these drugs and the number one is suicidal ideation and actual suicide. So NO I will not remove this. Someone has to speak up about it.
Much love to all the people commenting and sharing the struggles I share as well. We are stronger and wiser when we speak about what hurts us. Stay strong everyone! 💪❤️
What an odd way if looking at depressive thoughts. I'm writing this through my tears. I'll have to listen a few more times so it can sink in. Right now there is such a huge amount of sad emotions flowing out. It's overwhelming
Thank you soooo much for these words, Kyle ❤ I bursted into tears when you spoke of those old patterns wanting to die - that's so true. I have been feeling terrible and meaningless day after day, in the middle of all the wonderful things I could be grateful of, but now it really hit me that it's the old me that wants to die, not the real me/self. I should actually organize a respectful funeral for the old me! For toooo long I have been invisible, peoplepleaser, negative, sad, judgemental and afraid of everything - but those patterns originally saved my life as a small child when I was sexually abused. I don't need to be saved anymore... So thank you again, Kyle. You're my angel right now ❤
I don't feel suicidal but I'm not enjoying life very much anymore. I don't see much point in being here. My son died two years ago. It's hard to go on without him.
I’m so sorry ❤ Talk with him and listen for his answers. It’s not like having him beside you but he is always with you. I’m feeling this about my husband who left his body in 2022 and I miss him every day.
Two years is not long. You are still in deep grief. I lost my brother to suicide and my partner passed last year. It is a horrible road but doing my best to stay on it, I hope you can find a way too.
I do feel and hear him around me. We do energy work together but it's not the same as having him here in the physical. I know we're in the shift but I am tired of being here.
I know how tired we can be trying to “keep it together or figure things out“. The most exhausting one for me was be strong. The little girl inside me was so tired and just needed to rest deeply for a while. My heart is with you.❤
Watching this again. Thank you, Kyle. Number one is what makes it so challenging at times. For the longest time I denied my genius, my love, my passion, my sensitivity. Now I see it, so clearly. I see the beautiful, innocent, wonderful being inside. All I want is for me to feel safe to express himself in this world. I often feel so much terror at this sense of freedom and creativity that I don’t wanna be here. It’s so much, to feel so much. Just being seen helps at least 1%. Thank you.
Dear Kyle, thank you very much for this. My nephew took his life several months ago; he was such a magical being and I believe he would have made a different choice if he'd had this understanding. This will help me and so many others over and over again.
I sure as fuck do not want to come back I want to be done with consciousness entirely. I’m not actively suicidal but if God wiped me out right now that would be the greatest gift. I don’t understand how anyone wants to live. I wish I could fully express how much of a burden being alive is.
@@Ty44444 this shit is so hard, and we are clawing our way out of the programming of limiting beliefs and the false reality. Everything you said I GET…more than you know. 💜
100%. And ascension just makes it worse because now you can see how, even at higher awareness, how shitty everything is, and how it's just a sick game we're all playing. It's like we're just pawns for energy harvesting and the quality of our human experience does not matter. This hologram is anti-human and having a higher awareness does not help. It just makes it seem even more pointless. And we're supposed to express gratitude for this shitshow? Why?
It’s been awful for several years especially since a pandemic rape when nobody was available to help. I am walking on the edge every day. My body aches. And yes, what’s going on amongst humans -- I can’t take it. I’ve tried the New Thing and wind up in a place of exploitation or toxicity over and over. Anyone else experience this?
Thank you for shining the light and putting a voice to this special life situation that is considered by many but vocalized by few. I’ve been there in my head many times the last few years. Much love to all who know this pain and struggle to want to stay on this planet. I feel you. I love you. Anita 😢❤
Nail on the head, Kyle. After my attempt 9 years ago, I discovered it wasn't the genuine me that wanted to die, it was the diseased portion of my ego. My process of recovery mirrors your description and I'm now freer than 85% of the human population. Thank you for your courage. I wish I was as clear and eloquent when I share my experience.
It’s been a long time since I felt suicidal but I am so glad that you posted this for those who need it. Sending love to all who watch this. Love you, Kyle ❤
Such important content. We need to be able to openly discuss suicide. I have been plagued by these thoughts most of my life and what made things exponentially worse was having to hide my thoughts because the response to my sharing was traumatic. Kyle years ago you spoke about suicidal ideation and you broke down on a call. I sobbed with you and purged so much for two hours. It was incredibly deep and cathartic. Your vulnerability with us is a superpower. Deeply grateful for you.
I am weeping as I listen to this and thank you Kyle for this awareness. When I was in college, I wanted to die after the loss of my brother and then six months later my boyfriend I was in therapy just starting with a psychologist at the university and I didn’t know what to do, so I walked into his office and asked him if he could give me some books on suicide for a paper I was writing and he just gave me about three books from his bookshelf and kindly wished me luck on my paper. I walked out of his office and the pattern of being entirely on my own and alone. somehow protected me. As I walked home feeling numb I told myself that no one really cares what do I want to do now? It may sound crazy, but I started laughing about the circumstances and felt this incredibly powerful alone being within my body! Absolutely everything changed that day. Years later, with being part of the community you created I don’t think I’ll ever feel that abandonment again and I haven’t even met anyone face-to-face! Thank you, Kyle, You being a alongside of us in meditations, saved my life! Now, onto greatness!
A huge growth spurt followed one time I wanted to die. God had done for me what I couldn’t do for myself. Seven months later, I stood up for myself and for others who hadn’t been able to speak out. This was an excellent video.
This is so good. Letting go of patterns is indeed life threatening thats why many people dont do it. And when we let go, yes there is nothing to loose anymore and we are free.❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much Kyle for this particular video. Reminding me that something new is birthing, that old crap is falling off. After several really dark days I really needed to hear this. I love. You and your team so much. AEP has changed my life. With so much gratitude in my heart, thank you.
These were all great points! What has helped me numerous times is calling on my angelic guides, higher-self, and the Divine for assistance. I believe that we’re all capable of suicidal thoughts, but we have the free will to dwell upon them or not. When I give attention to suicidal thoughts, the thoughts tend to perpetuate and get out of control. However, when I ask and intend that the thoughts stop and start putting my attention on love and service to others, the thoughts suppress and fade.
Wow. You are the most beautifully vulnerable man I have ever seen. You are changing the planet. I love your guts!! Keep evolving friend. I am endlessly inspired by you. Thank you. ❤️
I have been putting my insights on this because, I too, like you, in the past, have had suicide idealization at 14 (now 40) had an almost successful attempt. The more normalized this talk becomes, the less people will see this an "out". The dark moments, for me, have been an access point to my gifts. But, because people get frightened when this subject gets brought up, I never talked about it. Today, I experience dark times, but I know those work through me in an observation state. Thank you for opening up this conversation
I think one more thing I want to say is I hear Teal say sink in the pain? I hear Joe Dispenza say you can change the hologram and heal from within, I hear non dualists say it all just “is” and can’t be changed just accept it but that feels to painful. I don’t know where to start is the issue. I will say I do feel better and more present then I ever have but, I want a massive shift finally. I stopped saying I was going to kms every other day and decided to say “I want to shift this thought or feeling” in its place. Anyways, just some rambling, love your take on it. Being suicidal has led me to be more free… love it Kyle. Thanks for being authentic.
When I was 7 years old, after I came home from school I heard my sister screaming in the bathroom. I saw my mum lying naked in the bath with a belt tightening around her neck. Her first ever suicide attempt before she was finally diagnosed 10years later with schizophrenia. I remember screaming "mummy I need you" & biting into her hand to stop her. I was programmed for suicide from 7yrs old & saw many more attempts of self harm. The dark thoughts hide the most incredible Angels on this Earth behind them. My mum faced so much ancestral wounding to the feminine.I have lived the last 25 years doing & teaching yoga/ meditation just to survive this ancestral programming & layer by layer shed this program for the collective. Today, I felt so much pain, I wanted to quit. I reached out to you a couple of years back as felt you understood this at this level too. Thank you for reminding me to keep going to continue inspiring others & to not live in fear of me anymore. I have always wanted to live but my pattern hasn't. Thank you so much XXXXXXXX
I'm so sorry, I can't even begin to imagine how that would feel to see someone you love and who is supposed to be there to take care of you, attempt to take their life. Someone recently said to me that trauma is a lesson that life never wants you to forget. I had never thought of it that way.
Kyle, Thank you for this. This couldn't have come at a better time for me as I have recently considered ending my own life. I'm stuck doing something I am not exactly passionate about anymore. I'm not exactly sure how to move to something that I actually love doing. I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to. My community doesn't look at me favorably. I feel like an outcast artist. My family doesn't exactly like me. My friends are either too busy most of the time or they don't want to listen to my problems. All I really wanted was someone who would listen to me. I feel like so many people want to talk, give advice, and don't want to listen. Anyways, last Wednesday I felt so down. I felt so ashamed. I just wanted to end it. I just wanted to jump in front of a moving bus or find some high place to leap off of. I've just been feeling so emotional, intense, combative, etc. lately. I don't want to actually die. I'm just tired. I'm just tried of struggling. I feel like I'm trying to push a car along and it keeps running out of gas. I get a little more gas and then it stops. Rinse and repeat. I just don't want to keep doing this and I want to move into something I feel happier with. I want to be in a place where people understand me. Where people listen to me instead of judging and giving their own nosey opinions. I also sent this video to a friend who recently tried to end his life and got diagnosed with BPD. I hope that this helps him too. Thank you
The desire to come back to this terrible place is part of the trick. It means you have rooted yourself in this evil. You said it @ 13:15.. "trust me, I swear to God".
This is so relatable Kyle there’s no words to describe how much I love and appreciate you for sharing and voicing this message! I hope everyone on the planet hears this message ❤
Very special video 🙏🏼 Thank you master Kyle 🥰😇 The same realizations Life gave me. Spent so much of my life in pain and darkness, not wanting to be here. That pain and darkness was my greatest teacher. I would never trade it for anything. It’s the reason I have so much joy, peace, love and connection to divinity. I’ve mastered my own darkness. And I’m not afraid of death. Now I fully choose to be here 😏👍🏼 “The louder the darkness is, the closer you are to freedom. Every time I felt close to suicide, I was birthing a whole new life.” I’m still human, I still experience heavy moments. But now I’m aware of what’s happening and I know how to navigate it. And now when I’m IN the struggle, I low key get excited about it cuz I know a breakthrough is coming 😎 And I’m not afraid to feel the depths of this human experience. It’s quite delicious. Thank you darkness. You were always working *for* me 🙏🏼 The adversary is also One with God. There is only God. This realization is freedom. #advaita Zero baby 😉
This awakening takes over every aspect of your life and the mind/ego struggles to see the benefit at times, it fights for the old you and becomes so sad when it realizes it no longer has control and asks what the point is, what it's getting out of it when there isn't immediate improvement...this can be a lot. I''m sure a lot of us on the spiritual path are going through this. Thank you for sharing and addressing this. You're such a light in our lives Kyle, thank you!
This is the most powerful and real discussion of this topic that I've ever experienced. Thank you SO MUCH Kyle for sharing your heart this way. You are saving lives with this talk, I have no doubt. Sending you love and appreciation my friend. 💜
i follow your voice/your love/your kindness/follow your beautiful heart. and it always saves me❤thank you. i am so glad you and all of you watching are on this earth❤
Thank you Kyle for sharing this powerful post and for bringing light to such a dark topic. You have helped me on so many levels and im so grateful for you in my life
Not sure why I’m commenting so much right now. To your point, I’ve been at my ropes end for many month. Last night I verbally talked to (ok, yelled at) source or anything else that was listening. It was harsh, but frank “if you want me dead then f’in kill me, it’s the very least you could do. You owe me that much”. Woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a very long time. People can’t talk about suicide without the threat of being forced onto drugs, hell you can’t even say I’m feeling discouraged with somebody trying to put you on SSRIs. Your voice is needed my friend. Once upon a time mine was too, in a very different way. Keep carrying the torch for the both of us. Maybe someday life will see fit for me to contribute the way I once could. But that’s not up to me - that much I’ve learned. Thank you for what you do. Onward my friend!!
I really feel number 1, so much. It’s what keeps me going. I have so much love to give and I don’t wanna give up. I’ve been so afraid of my sensitivity and my aliveness and my power. Suicidal ideation is a protective part of me not wanting to be seen or step into responsibility. I oscillate between “omg I’m so alive and everything is so beautiful and amazing.” And then I crash to suicidal depression. It’s like I open fully to life, then feel overwhelmed and incapable, so I shut down to protect. But the protection just feels like a waste of time. So I’m learning to honor the protection while also choosing to lovingly let it dissolve over time. It has been intense beyond belief
I know that in our not great world they're people that have ability to love. You are one of them. Looking at you, listening to you gives me amazing feeling that may be I am also one of them. May be you are an angel. Do you know?
Kyle, this was beautiful and important. 27 years ago, my older brother died by suicide. He was a senior executive in the corporate world who became a whistle blower. There was so much pressure on him. He had a nervous breakdown and eventually did the act. The truth of what you say here is that he spent his life doing work he did not want to do. He'd started a garage band as a teenager. He loved working with his hands and he was good at it. But the poverty consciousness that consumed my family consumed him and he became a CPA and a lawyer, and the golden handcuffs held him so tightly, he would not leave it. I wish he had heard you and made the transition into something he really loved. Thank you for this.
So insightful, Kyle! It's a part of a person recognizing an ending, but thinking it needs to be literal. The people I've know who've done it have been sensitive, creative artists. There's a line from The 1975 song "I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes) that goes: "But your death, it won't happen to you It happens to your family and your friends." It's a beautiful song that acknowledges the feeling of ending, without doing it, and I think has probably saved a lot of lives. One of the best live versions of the song is on the YT channel, Lila. The singer sees someone in the audience crying--that's all I'll say! It's worth seeing. ♥
Those thoughts sometimes are like fishes incide my head ,but now I know that Those are only pieces of me that my ego doesn't want to let go, but the real me still feel better and better for me and all around me. Thanks for sharing this video with the real you, God bless you
💚💚💚 Thank you, Kyle. I'm so glad I've chosen repeatedly to stay. My darkest moments were when I felt stuck in abusive relationships/environments (often not realizing it was abuse, it had been so normalized throughout my life), or when debilitating health issues showed up, or how our society/systems can be tough to exist within living outside the box when it comes to work/housing/lifestyle. I eventually realized it wasn't that I wanted to DIE, I just couldn't keep living LIKE THIS (whatever life was like in that moment). Life improved dramatically when I left those unhealthy relationships, and in some ways became absolutely incredible (in ways I NEVER could have imagined). I still struggle with the limitations of health issues, and how to fit within this society and our systems. I really don't know how to survive without a traditional job, how to make a sustainable living doing what I love (art and music), or how to heal my health issues in this healthcare system...but I can see now that while those struggles exist, I DO want to LIVE, and I hope I can be a part of helping to forge new paths and creating a world that feels better for a wider range of people. Sending love to those in in the comments, and anyone who stumbles upon this video who has felt this darkness. I hope you choose to stay, too. And may life surprise you in marvelous ways. 💚💚💚
Kyle, I don’t know you, but I love you. I just discovered your channel and feel you are one of the most compassionate souls I’ve ever met. Thank you for being here. You are a true gift to us all. ❤
Oh my God, thank you so much for this! I recently was saved by Jesus so the "find your angel" step is very freshly real to me. I've felt alone my whole life with a unique set of childhood trauma that I've yet to meet another person that's experienced it...not that I would wish it on anyone ofc. Suddenly I no longer feel alone! And watching your video, I can't tell you how many times I've felt suicidal and come very close to that irreversible decision. Thank you Kyle! I only found you because of my online emotional support group, another woman told me about your philosophy on loving your negative thoughts in order to neutralize the negativity in them. You are an absolute gift to the world, thank you from the bottom of my heart.💜🙌
I would miss so many beautiful things on this earth. Sending so much love to you Kyle ♥️ Sending love to everyone on this journey. It can be so dark at times but also so beautiful.
Thank you for being a voice for those who need to hear. I to wished to hear it long ago or most my life. My father attempted 2 times. Just thank you for being vulnerable as well. I am working my way up to being this or part of. 🙏
Years ago, when reading Eckart Tolle's book, A New Earth, I was given the gift of this understanding. In his words, from his own experience, it isn't the "I" who wants to die, it is the ego. It is the Ego, or a part of the Ego that wants/needs to die. And after I understood that, so much made sense. Suicidal thoughts no longer had the power of fear over me. I just realized "Oh, something needs to die off", and I sat with it, and allowed it. Now, my ego no longer needs to go to that extreme to get my attention, to let something go...when I start to feel the twinge or nudge, I turn and look at it. I ask it, I listen, I sit. Sometimes I cry, other times I talk to it and grieve or hold it and love it. Whatever it needs. Thank you for being vulnerable and authentic Kyle. We know that's your style, and we so appreciate it.I have come so far from that scared 11 year old girl, who just wanted God to take her, because she didn't want to live through the pain anymore.There is so much LIFE to experience, Everywhere and Anywhere in the Universe. And So It Is
DUDE THIS VIDEO JUST SAVED SO MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!! thank you kyle!!
I am a suicide survivor and appreciate this very much
I have struggled and suffered from these thoughts for many, many years. It hurts and I want it to stop. Thank you for this, Kyle.
Same.
@INSPAINWisdom and same for me too. You’re not alone @job.well.done_01
Wow, I have been struggling for years.. Never thought that it might be a pattern... I am an artist.. Sometimes I just want to stop, and throw everything away... Very stressful.. I do paint A LOT , of butterflies... LOL..
There are no coincidences ;)
I am a therapist and I do appreciate this sharing. Thank you Kyle. I love you ❤
This message would have helped my husband. He took his life on February 26, 2024. Your loving openness on this topic helps me understand even better what he was going through. He was ready for a breakthrough, he just didn't know it.
I'm not magical. I've been abused and rejected my whole life. Nice of you to say though.The pattern thing spoke to me.
Kyle just drips with compassion. Even the tone of his voice is compassionate. A person who teaches about something because they’ve experienced it firsthand. That is true teaching.
My mother Françoise killed herself in 1998 aged 74 years old ,Two years ago I suffered chronic depression due to a betrayal by relatives ,I accepted to go to a psychiatric unit ,the antidepressant Mirtazapine and doctors saved me .
I’m 72 an incest survivor & attempted suicide in my 30s after my father attempted abuse again as an adult of course I refused but I am still tortured by suicidal thoughts on a weekly basis , 3 years of therapy didn’t help. My children are all adult & live far away, I see them once a year. The only thing keeps me here is my little dog who is 12 years old , I think if she goes I would want to leave this dimension. I’ve had chronic fatigue many years , I’m often bedridden and isolated , my partner & many friends have died or moved away & sadly I haven’t birthed a whole new life. Thank you for speaking about this
I can really feel you in this. I've had CFS for about 10 years, I'm 35. I've lived with my parents for four years now. My parents and I just moved across the country and I saw a friend only once in the last year. All my friends have gotten married and live far away. I've been a loner for a long time. Fortunately, my health has vastly improved but the loneliness remains. If there's anything I can do to help you with CFS, please let me know. I'm sure you've tried everything, like I did. In the end, I ended up working with a deeply-spiritually oriented and compassionate coach and while challenges certainly still arise, I'm able to see things a bit more clearly which takes pressure off my system.
@@LakesTreesSo good to know you improving, sorry for your Lonliness. I’m currently re training my brain to safety because part of chronic fatigue is being stuck in fight or flight , hypervigilance & this method is healing thousands of people. 54 million people globally are suffering long covid same symptoms as CF !! I got long covid on top off CF but finally having improvement ❤
I have been telling my son’s ex-gf this today. The abuse she & her siblings endured by their father has put him in prison for life as of 12 months ago. It’s a rebirth time now like she never could have experienced before the abuse & during the criminal trial period. It’s the 12 month anniversary of the life sentence & she had fallen apart. She is such a beautiful person. I love this young lady & she deserves to live & live well.
I wouldn't want to come back but I would feel really bad for my family, that's the only reason I never really think about it seriously. When I have these thoughts I know it's not something I will ever do, unless I'm in permanent physical pain that's impossible to tolerate. I am willing to be ok with emotional pain for now. I know things are unfolding the way they are supposed to.
I love this! I lost my husband of 23 years in 2017 to suicide. He was creative, smart, kind, sensitive, and an overall wonderful man. He had just graduated as a doctor of pharmacy 9 months before he died at 41 years old. He didn’t want to be a pharmacist, and I know this contributed to his feelings of hopelessness. It’s been quite the journey without him, but it’s brought me to people like you, who challenge me to investigate who I really am and to break old patterns and realize my highest potential. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m very grateful for you. I’m reading your book ‘I hope I screw this up.’ it’s the only one I haven’t read yet, and I love it. I loved them all. Thank you!
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I’m so sorry. It’s heart breaking!
I am curious. Did he take pharmaceuticals ?
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@@naturelova7for the love of god remove your comment.
@@lisathomas1622No I will not because it’s a HUGE killer and many of us who have been severely injured KNOW! There needs to be awareness around this! lol at the labels and side affects of these drugs and the number one is suicidal ideation and actual suicide. So NO I will not remove this. Someone has to speak up about it.
Much love to all the people commenting and sharing the struggles I share as well. We are stronger and wiser when we speak about what hurts us. Stay strong everyone! 💪❤️
What an odd way if looking at depressive thoughts. I'm writing this through my tears. I'll have to listen a few more times so it can sink in. Right now there is such a huge amount of sad emotions flowing out. It's overwhelming
You are loved ❤
Thank you soooo much for these words, Kyle ❤ I bursted into tears when you spoke of those old patterns wanting to die - that's so true. I have been feeling terrible and meaningless day after day, in the middle of all the wonderful things I could be grateful of, but now it really hit me that it's the old me that wants to die, not the real me/self. I should actually organize a respectful funeral for the old me! For toooo long I have been invisible, peoplepleaser, negative, sad, judgemental and afraid of everything - but those patterns originally saved my life as a small child when I was sexually abused. I don't need to be saved anymore... So thank you again, Kyle. You're my angel right now ❤
I so much understand what you are saying, old patterns, old limiting beliefs about ourselves , resistance to what is.
@@soniagodin558Nice to hear that this resonates with someone ❤
I don't feel suicidal but I'm not enjoying life very much anymore. I don't see much point in being here. My son died two years ago. It's hard to go on without him.
I’m so sorry ❤ Talk with him and listen for his answers. It’s not like having him beside you but he is always with you. I’m feeling this about my husband who left his body in 2022 and I miss him every day.
Two years is not long. You are still in deep grief. I lost my brother to suicide and my partner passed last year. It is a horrible road but doing my best to stay on it, I hope you can find a way too.
I do feel and hear him around me. We do energy work together but it's not the same as having him here in the physical. I know we're in the shift but I am tired of being here.
I know how tired we can be trying to “keep it together or figure things out“. The most exhausting one for me was be strong. The little girl inside me was so tired and just needed to rest deeply for a while. My heart is with you.❤
Thank you for this, I cried all the way thru, thanks for being the light to help others in this world, here's to old patterns dying.
Watching this again.
Thank you, Kyle.
Number one is what makes it so challenging at times.
For the longest time I denied my genius, my love, my passion, my sensitivity.
Now I see it, so clearly.
I see the beautiful, innocent, wonderful being inside.
All I want is for me to feel safe to express himself in this world.
I often feel so much terror at this sense of freedom and creativity that I don’t wanna be here.
It’s so much, to feel so much.
Just being seen helps at least 1%. Thank you.
Dear Kyle, thank you very much for this. My nephew took his life several months ago; he was such a magical being and I believe he would have made a different choice if he'd had this understanding. This will help me and so many others over and over again.
This reminds me of the book "Veronika decides to die", when she decides to die, she really began to live...❤
Did Paulo Coehlo write this? This sounds familiar
@@dorisw2507 yes I think so, I have wanted to read it because of the title lol
Not sure if they already made a movie out of it, I think they have 🤔
❤very different angle on suicidal thoughts. finally a way out darkness while not denying darkness. this will save lives!! pass it on!
I sure as fuck do not want to come back I want to be done with consciousness entirely. I’m not actively suicidal but if God wiped me out right now that would be the greatest gift. I don’t understand how anyone wants to live. I wish I could fully express how much of a burden being alive is.
I feel you. I hear you. I see you. I have many similarities in thought and I send you so much love ❤
Thank you for your good will. I wish you the best.
@@Ty44444 this shit is so hard, and we are clawing our way out of the programming of limiting beliefs and the false reality. Everything you said I GET…more than you know. 💜
Sometimes I get angry at my parents for not using a preservative lol 🤣
100%. And ascension just makes it worse because now you can see how, even at higher awareness, how shitty everything is, and how it's just a sick game we're all playing. It's like we're just pawns for energy harvesting and the quality of our human experience does not matter. This hologram is anti-human and having a higher awareness does not help. It just makes it seem even more pointless. And we're supposed to express gratitude for this shitshow? Why?
You are such a genuine & compassionate soul.
Thank you, Kyle.
It’s been awful for several years especially since a pandemic rape when nobody was available to help. I am walking on the edge every day. My body aches. And yes, what’s going on amongst humans -- I can’t take it. I’ve tried the New Thing and wind up in a place of exploitation or toxicity over and over. Anyone else experience this?
Repetition compulsion. Focus on healing self.
Thank you for shining the light and putting a voice to this special life situation that is considered by many but vocalized by few. I’ve been there in my head many times the last few years. Much love to all who know this pain and struggle to want to stay on this planet. I feel you. I love you. Anita
😢❤
Nail on the head, Kyle. After my attempt 9 years ago, I discovered it wasn't the genuine me that wanted to die, it was the diseased portion of my ego. My process of recovery mirrors your description and I'm now freer than 85% of the human population. Thank you for your courage. I wish I was as clear and eloquent when I share my experience.
It’s been a long time since I felt suicidal but I am so glad that you posted this for those who need it. Sending love to all who watch this. Love you, Kyle ❤
Such important content. We need to be able to openly discuss suicide. I have been plagued by these thoughts most of my life and what made things exponentially worse was having to hide my thoughts because the response to my sharing was traumatic. Kyle years ago you spoke about suicidal ideation and you broke down on a call. I sobbed with you and purged so much for two hours. It was incredibly deep and cathartic. Your vulnerability with us is a superpower. Deeply grateful for you.
Kyle, I have been there so many times. I love how you speak from your heart. Thank you for this. I needed to hear this.
I am weeping as I listen to this and thank you Kyle for this awareness. When I was in college, I wanted to die after the loss of my brother and then six months later my boyfriend I was in therapy just starting with a psychologist at the university and I didn’t know what to do, so I walked into his office and asked him if he could give me some books on suicide for a paper I was writing and he just gave me about three books from his bookshelf and kindly wished me luck on my paper. I walked out of his office and the pattern of being entirely on my own and alone. somehow protected me. As I walked home feeling numb I told myself that no one really cares what do I want to do now? It may sound crazy, but I started laughing about the circumstances and felt this incredibly powerful alone being within my body! Absolutely everything changed that day. Years later, with being part of the community you created I don’t think I’ll ever feel that abandonment again and I haven’t even met anyone face-to-face! Thank you, Kyle, You being a alongside of us in meditations, saved my life! Now, onto greatness!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Kyle and lifting so many people up! Your points and perspective are so powerful!
I've been sitting with this feeling of not wanting to be for almost 2 years. Seeking outside help strengthens the wish to no longer exist.
I want to go Home..
but not from the point of suffering or depression! ❤
A huge growth spurt followed one time I wanted to die. God had done for me what I couldn’t do for myself. Seven months later, I stood up for myself and for others who hadn’t been able to speak out. This was an excellent video.
This is so good. Letting go of patterns is indeed life threatening thats why many people dont do it. And when we let go, yes there is nothing to loose anymore and we are free.❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much Kyle for this particular video. Reminding me that something new is birthing, that old crap is falling off. After several really dark days I really needed to hear this. I love. You and your team so much. AEP has changed my life. With so much gratitude in my heart, thank you.
These were all great points! What has helped me numerous times is calling on my angelic guides, higher-self, and the Divine for assistance. I believe that we’re all capable of suicidal thoughts, but we have the free will to dwell upon them or not. When I give attention to suicidal thoughts, the thoughts tend to perpetuate and get out of control. However, when I ask and intend that the thoughts stop and start putting my attention on love and service to others, the thoughts suppress and fade.
Wow. You are the most beautifully vulnerable man I have ever seen. You are changing the planet. I love your guts!! Keep evolving friend. I am endlessly inspired by you. Thank you. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I love that you have the ability to help others heal.
Thank you Kyle. Been there a few times too. Clawed my way back xx
Not only honest and helpful but deeply moving... Thank you, Kyle.
Prayed over this last night- answered tonight, thank you Kyle, and thank you God. I love you both❤
I have been putting my insights on this because, I too, like you, in the past, have had suicide idealization at 14 (now 40) had an almost successful attempt. The more normalized this talk becomes, the less people will see this an "out". The dark moments, for me, have been an access point to my gifts. But, because people get frightened when this subject gets brought up, I never talked about it. Today, I experience dark times, but I know those work through me in an observation state. Thank you for opening up this conversation
I think one more thing I want to say is I hear Teal say sink in the pain? I hear Joe Dispenza say you can change the hologram and heal from within, I hear non dualists say it all just “is” and can’t be changed just accept it but that feels to painful. I don’t know where to start is the issue. I will say I do feel better and more present then I ever have but, I want a massive shift finally. I stopped saying I was going to kms every other day and decided to say “I want to shift this thought or feeling” in its place. Anyways, just some rambling, love your take on it. Being suicidal has led me to be more free… love it Kyle. Thanks for being authentic.
When I was 7 years old, after I came home from school I heard my sister screaming in the bathroom. I saw my mum lying naked in the bath with a belt tightening around her neck. Her first ever suicide attempt before she was finally diagnosed 10years later with schizophrenia. I remember screaming "mummy I need you" & biting into her hand to stop her. I was programmed for suicide from 7yrs old & saw many more attempts of self harm. The dark thoughts hide the most incredible Angels on this Earth behind them. My mum faced so much ancestral wounding to the feminine.I have lived the last 25 years doing & teaching yoga/ meditation just to survive this ancestral programming & layer by layer shed this program for the collective. Today, I felt so much pain, I wanted to quit. I reached out to you a couple of years back as felt you understood this at this level too. Thank you for reminding me to keep going to continue inspiring others & to not live in fear of me anymore. I have always wanted to live but my pattern hasn't. Thank you so much XXXXXXXX
I'm so sorry, I can't even begin to imagine how that would feel to see someone you love and who is supposed to be there to take care of you, attempt to take their life. Someone recently said to me that trauma is a lesson that life never wants you to forget. I had never thought of it that way.
@@LakesTrees Thank you so much for your message.
Kyle,
Thank you for this. This couldn't have come at a better time for me as I have recently considered ending my own life. I'm stuck doing something I am not exactly passionate about anymore. I'm not exactly sure how to move to something that I actually love doing. I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to. My community doesn't look at me favorably. I feel like an outcast artist. My family doesn't exactly like me. My friends are either too busy most of the time or they don't want to listen to my problems. All I really wanted was someone who would listen to me. I feel like so many people want to talk, give advice, and don't want to listen. Anyways, last Wednesday I felt so down. I felt so ashamed. I just wanted to end it. I just wanted to jump in front of a moving bus or find some high place to leap off of. I've just been feeling so emotional, intense, combative, etc. lately. I don't want to actually die. I'm just tired. I'm just tried of struggling. I feel like I'm trying to push a car along and it keeps running out of gas. I get a little more gas and then it stops. Rinse and repeat. I just don't want to keep doing this and I want to move into something I feel happier with. I want to be in a place where people understand me. Where people listen to me instead of judging and giving their own nosey opinions. I also sent this video to a friend who recently tried to end his life and got diagnosed with BPD. I hope that this helps him too.
Thank you
I love you too Kyle! ❤️
I am not suicidal yet listening to this just made me cry and it brought me great relief! Thank you ❤
The desire to come back to this terrible place is part of the trick. It means you have rooted yourself in this evil. You said it @ 13:15.. "trust me, I swear to God".
Thank you for this. Truly.
This is so relatable Kyle there’s no words to describe how much I love and appreciate you for sharing and voicing this message! I hope everyone on the planet hears this message ❤
Very special video 🙏🏼
Thank you master Kyle 🥰😇
The same realizations Life gave me.
Spent so much of my life in pain and darkness, not wanting to be here. That pain and darkness was my greatest teacher. I would never trade it for anything. It’s the reason I have so much joy, peace, love and connection to divinity. I’ve mastered my own darkness. And I’m not afraid of death. Now I fully choose to be here 😏👍🏼
“The louder the darkness is, the closer you are to freedom. Every time I felt close to suicide, I was birthing a whole new life.”
I’m still human, I still experience heavy moments. But now I’m aware of what’s happening and I know how to navigate it. And now when I’m IN the struggle, I low key get excited about it cuz I know a breakthrough is coming 😎 And I’m not afraid to feel the depths of this human experience. It’s quite delicious. Thank you darkness. You were always working *for* me 🙏🏼 The adversary is also One with God. There is only God. This realization is freedom.
#advaita
Zero baby 😉
This awakening takes over every aspect of your life and the mind/ego struggles to see the benefit at times, it fights for the old you and becomes so sad when it realizes it no longer has control and asks what the point is, what it's getting out of it when there isn't immediate improvement...this can be a lot. I''m sure a lot of us on the spiritual path are going through this. Thank you for sharing and addressing this. You're such a light in our lives Kyle, thank you!
Thank you for giving my teenage self a beautiful big hug. I love her more because of the love you are.
This is the most powerful and real discussion of this topic that I've ever experienced. Thank you SO MUCH Kyle for sharing your heart this way. You are saving lives with this talk, I have no doubt. Sending you love and appreciation my friend. 💜
This is what I feel is my only choice. Many days job I hate people not hearing me and all the rest ! Yes I need to hear this
i follow your voice/your love/your kindness/follow your beautiful heart. and it always saves me❤thank you. i am so glad you and all of you watching are on this earth❤
Thank you Kyle for sharing this powerful post and for bringing light to such a dark topic. You have helped me on so many levels and im so grateful for you in my life
I needed this most 8 months ago, but it lead me to the people who lead me here
Not sure why I’m commenting so much right now. To your point, I’ve been at my ropes end for many month. Last night I verbally talked to (ok, yelled at) source or anything else that was listening. It was harsh, but frank “if you want me dead then f’in kill me, it’s the very least you could do. You owe me that much”. Woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a very long time. People can’t talk about suicide without the threat of being forced onto drugs, hell you can’t even say I’m feeling discouraged with somebody trying to put you on SSRIs.
Your voice is needed my friend. Once upon a time mine was too, in a very different way. Keep carrying the torch for the both of us. Maybe someday life will see fit for me to contribute the way I once could. But that’s not up to me - that much I’ve learned. Thank you for what you do. Onward my friend!!
So appreciate your honesty, authenticity and wisdom. Such a needed discussion for these challenging times. 💙
I tried twice. I was soo angry with life. I had lost that happiness that I had. Start a new life I like that! Thank you
Thanks Kyle
Powerful video = thanks for sharing!
I really feel number 1, so much.
It’s what keeps me going.
I have so much love to give and I don’t wanna give up.
I’ve been so afraid of my sensitivity and my aliveness and my power.
Suicidal ideation is a protective part of me not wanting to be seen or step into responsibility.
I oscillate between “omg I’m so alive and everything is so beautiful and amazing.” And then I crash to suicidal depression.
It’s like I open fully to life, then feel overwhelmed and incapable, so I shut down to protect.
But the protection just feels like a waste of time.
So I’m learning to honor the protection while also choosing to lovingly let it dissolve over time.
It has been intense beyond belief
Thank you.
I know that in our not great world they're people that have ability to love. You are one of them. Looking at you, listening to you gives me amazing feeling that may be I am also one of them. May be you are an angel. Do you know?
Kyle, this was beautiful and important. 27 years ago, my older brother died by suicide. He was a senior executive in the corporate world who became a whistle blower. There was so much pressure on him. He had a nervous breakdown and eventually did the act. The truth of what you say here is that he spent his life doing work he did not want to do. He'd started a garage band as a teenager. He loved working with his hands and he was good at it. But the poverty consciousness that consumed my family consumed him and he became a CPA and a lawyer, and the golden handcuffs held him so tightly, he would not leave it. I wish he had heard you and made the transition into something he really loved. Thank you for this.
Thank you Kyle
So grateful you shine ✨ your light in so many lives…..the darkness is easier to bear…..♥️it’s only the absence of light
Thank you
Love you Kyle ❤, thank you for your being
big hugs🙏
So insightful, Kyle! It's a part of a person recognizing an ending, but thinking it needs to be literal. The people I've know who've done it have been sensitive, creative artists. There's a line from The 1975 song "I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes) that goes:
"But your death, it won't happen to you
It happens to your family and your friends."
It's a beautiful song that acknowledges the feeling of ending, without doing it, and I think has probably saved a lot of lives. One of the best live versions of the song is on the YT channel, Lila. The singer sees someone in the audience crying--that's all I'll say! It's worth seeing.
♥
Love your work Kyle. Thank you. ❤
❤️❤❤ thank you, Kyle!
So much healing love in this video. ✨🥰✨
Such good advice. Thanks Kyle. ❤you
So beautiful and well thought-out and presented. It's so helpful. Thank you 🙏🤗
I needed this. So much. Thank you 🎉
Thank you, Kyle. I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts for many years.
Those thoughts sometimes are like fishes incide my head ,but now I know that Those are only pieces of me that my ego doesn't want to let go, but the real me still feel better and better for me and all around me. Thanks for sharing this video with the real you, God bless you
Thank you Kyle, this is so important.
💚💚💚 Thank you, Kyle. I'm so glad I've chosen repeatedly to stay. My darkest moments were when I felt stuck in abusive relationships/environments (often not realizing it was abuse, it had been so normalized throughout my life), or when debilitating health issues showed up, or how our society/systems can be tough to exist within living outside the box when it comes to work/housing/lifestyle. I eventually realized it wasn't that I wanted to DIE, I just couldn't keep living LIKE THIS (whatever life was like in that moment). Life improved dramatically when I left those unhealthy relationships, and in some ways became absolutely incredible (in ways I NEVER could have imagined). I still struggle with the limitations of health issues, and how to fit within this society and our systems. I really don't know how to survive without a traditional job, how to make a sustainable living doing what I love (art and music), or how to heal my health issues in this healthcare system...but I can see now that while those struggles exist, I DO want to LIVE, and I hope I can be a part of helping to forge new paths and creating a world that feels better for a wider range of people. Sending love to those in in the comments, and anyone who stumbles upon this video who has felt this darkness. I hope you choose to stay, too. And may life surprise you in marvelous ways. 💚💚💚
Kyle, I don’t know you, but I love you. I just discovered your channel and feel you are one of the most compassionate souls I’ve ever met. Thank you for being here. You are a true gift to us all. ❤
Ahh thank you so much!
This is so good!!! Thanks a lot...❤
Oh my God, thank you so much for this! I recently was saved by Jesus so the "find your angel" step is very freshly real to me. I've felt alone my whole life with a unique set of childhood trauma that I've yet to meet another person that's experienced it...not that I would wish it on anyone ofc. Suddenly I no longer feel alone! And watching your video, I can't tell you how many times I've felt suicidal and come very close to that irreversible decision. Thank you Kyle! I only found you because of my online emotional support group, another woman told me about your philosophy on loving your negative thoughts in order to neutralize the negativity in them. You are an absolute gift to the world, thank you from the bottom of my heart.💜🙌
Thank you so so much ❤️🙏🤗❣️❤️🙏🤗❣️ Have been suicidal many a time over the last few years .....
Empowering!
I would miss so many beautiful things on this earth. Sending so much love to you Kyle ♥️
Sending love to everyone on this journey. It can be so dark at times but also so beautiful.
❤❤❤. Thank you for this beautiful perspective. 🙏🏻
I am sharing with a friend. I appreciate that you've had experiences with suicidal thoughts, and your message comes from your heart.
You are such an important Soul❤ Really helped x
Your awesome, we love you ❤
Thank you for being a voice for those who need to hear. I to wished to hear it long ago or most my life. My father attempted 2 times. Just thank you for being vulnerable as well. I am working my way up to being this or part of. 🙏
Thank God you are still here Kyle.❤ Your wisdom and insights are so needed here right now! Sending you so much love💖
THANK YOU❣️I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS❣️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is so impactful and offering me beautiful shifts in perception.
Thank you so much truly. You’re God sent