Sheryl Lee Ralph is not speaking of what she thinks marriage should be & what’s the best for others. She’s speaking of what her marriage is and what’s best for her. I love it! ♥️♥️♥️
She's incredible. I'd like to be more like her. What a classy, smart, powerful, grounded soul. The sort of girlfriend we'd all love to have and be..I'm so happy for her. All my sisters deserve this. (Love from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤️)
I have always thought the perfect marriage is a marriage when ppl live separately. I'm with her. And ppl need to feel accomplished in there lives. You can still be in love with someone come together for dates and intimacy and go home to your place and be comfortable. I think it's genius. She is living my life..I Absolutely love it.
@SimplisticallyDigital Then that's not a marriage at all but an open marriage. It's definitely not a marriage in God. You might as well stay single because the man can be committing adultery at his own place.
10:58 She's an actress, he's a politician. She's decided not to drop her life for marriage. Whatever happens you know she'll not be as devastated like people who dropped everything to fit in a man's life
A former married seasoned mature woman once said: "I don't care if it's Billy Dee Williams as fine as he is, I don't want to see him everyday. Eventually his habits will take over and his deep luscious voice will get on my nerves. If I see him 2-3 times a week, we can really relax and be free to love on each other without the usual disagreements. Also I will miss him and want to make things extra romantic for him." 👩❤💋👨
Well one things for sure, there will no be walking on eggshells with that arrangement. She is in control of her own comings and goings as well as in control of her environment. Its step in the right direction because she is happy. The safest arrangement is to not be legally and financially tied to another person.. Stay free and stay happy.
I will not be married to a man. It’s a contract that benefits the man mostly. My money will remain mine because I worked for it all my life. I can have a man in my life and be loyal without the contract. Men even if you are married to them they will cheat so what’s the point. Stay single and get your enjoyment the way you see fit!
@@kaydubya6347 Any dude cheats on me, the other woman CAN HAVE HIM, lol! I am not a dog who has to beg for some dude to stay with me. He wants to go, he can GO! 😂😂
Living apart honestly sounds great! I love my alone time, and any messes are my own (for better or for worse). No one's eating my favorite snacks or hogging the tv. If that's working for her, that's amazing!
My grandmother and grandfather lived like Sheryl Lee, and she .loved it. Grandfather tried to move where my grandmother was, and ended up living a couple of blocks from her. She said, I'm done with all that caretaking bs, and told him not to call her if he gets sick. She lived her life to the fullest, him, not so much. He definitely missed her more than she missed him
I like the idea of the Living Apart Together idea which is pretty much what the first lady was doing. A woman is able to maintain her autonomy and men can maintain their financial goals. Neither one has to lose themself. These are things that married couples tend to complain about, so it might be a solution for some people especially if they can afford to do it.
The only reason this comment bothers me is that apparently the “man” has financial goals. All the women I know are so much better at saving for the future than men.
@@jeannedd.2709 I hear you, the only reason I mentioned financial goals for men is because they tend to harp on this when they get divorced, or they claim that this is a reason it's best for men to stay unmarried so that they would avoid the financial strain/loss. I agree with you about certain women being great savers and I think it's awesome that your circle of women friends is financially disciplined. However, building wealth is also about risk taking and aggressive investing moves in the financial market. In the past women were not as active in the financial market as men although this is changing. So, both men and women have strengths in the area of preparing for the future and it really is an individual thing. Be blessed and keep doing your thing, that's great!
I agree with Sheryl 💯! I don't think it's for ppl who are heavily indoctrinated in tradition. Living apart keeps the attraction alive much longer. You don't get complacent and bored and resentful. I was in a 13 year relationship and by year 6, I was fantasizing about having my own room. Now that we have broken up, I can't imagine living with a man, but I have a man in my life that i enjoy. I love the freedom. He's never in my face long enough for me to start hating him. This way works for me, but not for many.
@@kikilicious99 Yeah, been married for 18, I would advise my son to have his own living space if he was in a long-term relationship. If I had a daughter, I would advise the same. Culture is changing, Women are able to support themselves and men can do their own domestic stuff or hire someone to do it. People assume intimacy/infidelity would be an issue, but I think media exaggerates the frequency of promiscuity. I'm older and I used to think that everyone was hypersexual since I grew up in the hood and there were less opportunities and activities to keep people busy. Now I realize that wasn't the case. There was a select few that lived like that. Hence why you have the baby mamas with multiple baby daddies and vice versa, lol. Be blessed
This is a thing now and I like it. Most men , if you live with them, expect all the amenities by default, meaning cooking, cleanng, laundry, errands, shopping, his personal assistant, his therapist and his sexworker on demand. No thanks. Have you heard the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Being in a separate house is like keeping dating alive and seeing each other special, iF you can trust him not to cheat. But men will cheat even while living with you, so there's that.
Honestly, sometimes I think women WANT TO SUFFER. And that's okay, that's their choice, but they shouldn't drag other women into that mess. Sheryl is on point!👌🏾❤️
It's always the unhappy ones who are getting punched in the eye that run with the 'pretty girls will never get married'. There is a whole life outside/inside marriage. Having a ring and a name change doesn't mean anything, men can change immediately they get married or lead you down the line for 20 years and then ruin you. These 'special' ladies need to be humble and pray life doesn't humble them in the worse possible way. Sherly Lee Ralph was married for 10years. Only she knows her experience. If this works for her, then amazing❤
What is she talking about? Pretty girls get a lot of proposals, often right away, because the man wants to lock you down before you meet someone better. ROTFL.
Thank you for your honest thoughts on this! The lady did not insist that marriage must be done her way, she only shared her own way and how perfectly it works for her.
Ughhh, I've known so many women that thought marriage was a major accomplishment. Flexing, that they were picked by a man, so they were "better than." Never thinking that maybe, some of us are turning down proposals. Lol. Talk about putting these demigods on a pedestal.
Now THAT should be a conversation. Turning down them proposals because YOU know he ain’t it and it would be better to be single than married to someone who doesn’t truly respect you.
Next door will be a problem eventually. I share a duplex with a family member and know it wouldn't work with a spouse. He'd be lazy about cleaning, resulting in bugs and vermin that I'd have to deal with. He'd be noisy or smoke when I want peace and quiet and clean air. He would not want me to have peace. Currently have a joint account with family member for house bills. We never touch it without discussion. It is great for those unexpected expenses like a busted water heater, leaky roof, new washer. Told a coworker who was getting married about the set up. She tried to do it with her new spouse. He tapped that account for any opportunity. If he bought laundry detergent, he'd take it from the joint account, because it was "for the house".
Glad to see that many in these comments are realist about the married lives of older couples. I think most of the ones who object to Ms. Ralph’s arrangements are single or newly married with fairytail-starry eyed images of what the life is like even after DECADES of marriage. My husband falls asleep on the couch a few nights a week and I’m not mad about sleeping like a starfish and not having to wear my earplugs and Apple Watch. It is possible to be married and not needing to be joined at the hip 24/7.
I actually love this set up. I have my own life and don’t need to be up under a man constantly. I prefer a man I only see a few times per week. She figured out what works for her. This is ideal for me.
I believe Cameron Diaz spoke about having separate bedrooms in marriage. I agree with both her, and Sheryl Lee Ralph. Especially as someone who has lived with a man. After a while it at times becomes a bit irritating. I’ve always wanted my own place, space, everything. Especially after experiencing living with someone. 😂
Hi everyone. Ms Ralph is a grown woman that knows who she is, what she wants and what she will or will not tolerate. She is beautiful .She's grown, mature and stable. She doesn't exhibit naivety or immature behavior when it comes to pretty words from a man. If it did not work for her she would not be in the marriage. Sometimes people need to try something different to make it work. Thank you.
I really appreciate all the marriage teaching and preaching that I didn't need to be married for happiness and to always have my own when I grow up in the 70's. I was confused then but I learned what they were saying when I hit my 30's.
Tbh if it works for them, I think it's great, idk why anyone else feels the need to speak on it unless she's telling others how to live. Fr fr one of my hesitations about dating rn is I like my own space, my own decorating, my own groceries no one else is eating, and not having to share my TV lol so I'm kinda into it. You gotta trust your partner for it to work though
A lot of people lie and claim it works for them when it doesn't. They get addicted to dysfunction. That's why I don't believe most people when it comes to their relationships because most of them lie and behave like crabs in a bucket.
That's it there. A marriage like that would take an enormous amount of trust. If two people are married but living as though they are separate then don't be mad if the other person indulges in that freedom and stray. It's hard enough when married people live as married people, but then with them living separately, i would think it would increase the likelihood of infidelity given so much "space." They might as well be only dating.
There are some married couples who live in separate homes and there are also married couples who live in the same house and have separate bedrooms. This method works for some couples and they have been married for many years and I don't see anything wrong with it. Do what works for you. If I ever get married, I would definitely want to have my own space and have my own room and the husband can have his own space and have his own room, or I can just live in a dual home or separate home with the husband. In the Japanese culture, there are some married couples who live in separate homes and they have ben married for years and it works for them. I remember Princella the Queen Maker said that men and women should meet seldomly and if a couple is married, they should live separately as well.
So being average/ugly automatically means you're being respectful, and being pretty means you're not, eh? Could she be a troll account? For sure agree with the lady in purple. Having your own life/space is great for a relationship. A different house is a bit expensive and much, but your own room and social life, yes! Also, i have to say, i really enjoy your videos. You actually add good commentary to your reaction videos, and not just ripping them from tiktok ^_^
Ikr also I'm not respectful at all to my husband and somehow he still decided to marry me and pay all my bills so idk what she thinks she's doing here maybe she's trying to indoctrinate all women into her woman hating religion
Thank you for your honest thoughts and kind words, I'm super glad you love our videos. Please don't stop liking, sharing, and stay tuned for more! Much love 💕
What do we care if she's happy that is all that matters. We all need our own space one way or another, and if you can afford your own space, wonderful!!!
I sort of understand the lady who lives a separate lives from her husband. I am most comfortable when my husband sleeps in a different room. When we are in the same room, he is always trying to control everything. He will have comments about when I fall asleep, when I wake up, if I have phone on before sleeping, if I made the bed, if charged my phone, where I put my clothes. He is awesome in many ways but I just want him to do his own thing and leave me to adult on my own. I work as well. I have a stressful work life as well. As an adult, I get to chose what makes me happy, I don’t have to do things that make him happy. His stress relief mechanisms are not mine. He will never understand.
That LAST girl is COMPLETELY RIGHT 👍 I agree with her 💯 I have been single by choice now for almost 10 years and it's the BEST MOST PEACEFUL CHOICE I have EVER MADE 💯 PRAISE GOD HALLELUJAH 🙏... I doubt I will turn back 🎉🎉🎉
Her point about men not wanting women to enjoy s3x was good. I think s3x with men is not very impressive (hence why so many women fake it and have to satisfy themselves), and men know this deep down. They don't want women to enjoy it because honestly, they aren't often capable of providing a good experience.
I love hearing Sheryl. She is so dynamic. Abbott Elementary is filmed in California and her husband is a Pennsylvania senator. Their income, lifestyle and careers are not average. We can't look at it with the same lens as we do our lives. P.S Sheryl is 68 and they don't have kids together.
I completely understand her. My husband and I have spoken about we need two seperate houses to live in , because we would get along so much better. We would have time to miss each other and time to ourselves and we wouldn't be in eachothers space either. I would have things the way I like them and for him the same. To make a marriage last you need just as much time apart as together, because you will eventually get sick of one another! Facts people perfect example Dolly Parton and her husband!!
I have a cousin that lives separately from his wife and they love it, they can decorate how they want and when one goes over the other's house its like a sleepover.
A woman at marriage first, loses her identity: her familiy name. If he rejects her, she goes back to the prior state; so the people that once knew her by her married name, will not recognize her if see her name written. Will also end homeless, jobless, older, less educated.. As a dependent person, she depends on her partner to be fed, clothed, etc.. in exchange, she provides domestic service, and also compromises her health and life with every pregnancy. Can someone who works 17hours a day have time to study? Have time to relax and be beautiful, energetic and joyful? If she manage to survive that life, it is possible, that into her menopausic years, she might be changed for a fresher model.. I have seen that movie too many times, all the remakes decades after decades.. There is something not working in this pattern.
I can understand not living with my husband to a certain degree. While I value marriage, mostly for those who desire to have children, I enjoy spending time with myself. I have never been a woman who needed to be up under a man all day, and I don't want a clingy man in my life. I will spend time with my husband; however, unless it is an emergency, he knows not to disturb me while I am reading a book, watching a movie, going to one of my martial arts classes, etc. Also, I am a 100 percent in agreement with the lady who said she kept her finances separate while being married. Unlike her, I don't mind being legally tied to another human being; however, I keep my finances separate from my husband. My house is in my name, because I bought my house before I married him. I like it like this so that in the event of a split, I don't have to worry about my credit being ruined if I no longer have two incomes to pay the mortgage, car note, credit card bills, etc.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! Yes, It's important to understand what works best for you and your partner in your marriage and then go for it! Sheryl only shared what's working for her and she's cool with it.
Mrs. Senator Vincent Hughes is speaking facts. Two married people are the ONLY TWO people who decide what a happy, caring and devoted marriage would look like for them. Why so many divorces and broken up families? If their children are grown or they have no children, then it's their business if they do what they do.
My dream marriage is where I have my own home and we come together when we can. I need isolation and I have my own life, why do I have to give up who I am?
I think this is the only way I can be happy in a marriage. I don’t see myself cohabitating with another person. If he is going to cheat I don’t think whether or not we sleep under the same roof will matter. Men always find a way if that’s the intention. At least this way, I have my own life and home to go back to when the marriage ends
I literally told someone I want to live like Sheryl Lee Ralph if I have a partner. This is my way of keeping my autonomy, which I value. The only other way is a big house with plenty of room and come and go as I please.
Women who are saying they want to be married but live separately, then that's not really a marriage it is an open marriage, that man could be committing adultery at his house without her knowing. You might as well stay single for all that because that is definitely not marriage under God.
On the muslim part: it is not encouraged to have so many wifes, it is permissable, but there a lot of steps before one can do. For example the first wife must agree, second you have to have enough money to afford two seperate housings for those wifes (they can not and do not life at the same place!) Further he has to be able to treat all wifes equally and these wifes should be eighter divorces or widows. The providing does not only entail the monetarily but also emotionally providing. He can not prefere one wife over the others that is a huge sin and can render the marriage null. Funnily there is a part in the Koran that states that no one can anyone equal, so some places like tunesia forbade to marry a second wife because the important part of treating them equal can not be achieved. Frther in Islam marriage is more seen as a contract that should benefit the including parties and it is less romaticized. You as a wife can obviously state in your marriage papers that you wont accept any other wife. If he breaks that contract you are entitled to get your dowry and are immediately divorced. This is actually the basis but a lot of cultures try always to bend the rules because obviously men want to benefit from marriage and leave women with nothing. For example some men, so to not pay the dowry, make the women initiate the divorce by behaving discutingly and toxicly towards her, this obviously is also is against the marriage papers but of course this is always overlooked.
@MaryjaneN_ no problem, but I know also a lot of other muslims who don't know any of this. But I think especially as a female muslim one should know their rights. Also I am always grateful for your videos and insight knowledge about such topics.❤️
After 20 years of marriage where my husband has worked nights for most of it, I finally just moved into my own bedroom. Now I can keep the temperature where I want it (he likes it too hot), I don't have to deal with his snoring and farting, and I don't have to play dead just so I won't be coerced into sex in the middle of the night simply because I woke up long enough to use the bathroom. Everything else is normal in our marriage, but I simply cannot stand sleeping next to another person.
Giiiiirls❤ If you do not want to be part of a polygamous marriage, you simply have to voice this condition before the marriage. In addition, you and your future husband can agree on the shore what your marriage should be like, who serves whom, whether you want children or not, what are your needs, whether you want to live together or separately. This is all negotiable. Islam is flexible in this matter and allows all parties to choose what suits them. But these details should always be discussed before marriage and you should know your rights. Islam does not force you to be in a polygamous marriage if you do not want it and it hurts you. Hug y’all
I like this idea. I can’t imagine living with a man forever in the same place. I’m not the clingy type and I like men to do their own laundry and cleaning after themselves 😊👍🏼
Im going to have rp agree with the lady in the purple the loss is hard so id have to agree you both need your own lives cause it's true if my mother and all my aunts didnt want to tell the truth at all. My mom did teach me to always have my own but yet didn't say why but in return it made me a target men hated i made good money straight outta high school. They easily became jealous or couldn't keep up with the things id like to do and no im not paying a guys way. Guys can be predators you gotta be careful
I thinks it is very healthy to have also your own time during marriage. My parents for example planed their vacations often seperately unless we were going somewhere. My mom needed that and my dad needed that. Sure living in completely different places might be too much for some people but if its working for her I don't see why not
This is the PERFECT marriage. No man to disturb ur peace, make a mess in your home etc. “The lady in the purple” is actress Sheryl-Lee Ralph. I would live in separate bedrooms or home with a marriage. I DONT want a man in my space everyday. Most of these women that sway that they would never live separately from their man are the same women who are miserable in their marriage because that man is stressing them out and abusing them and on top of that the man STILL cheats. I would also not combine finances nor pay taxes together with a man. Nope
Women of this age can see themselves married and living in separate homes. She has 2 kids, so i think there eas a tome they lived together. So i think that she decided to live separate later in life when the kids were grown. I dont know if she decided divorcing him would cost to much and this was the next best option. Typically women from her generation are not like this, but more traditional. Maybe they have an "agreement", you do you and i do me.
Women are waking up from their sleep. I look back and I wish I never got married. I still would have my kids even without a husband. I love being a baby mama. I love being single. I wish your content was there in my childhood. Let me encourage you not single by choice women. It's OK to be single ❤❤❤😂
As long as both the married couple agree, on their free will, and conscious mind, and formulate their living arrangements_ the marriage works. Communication, honesty, and transparency are fundamentals.
The first woman is living the life. They are still married and have been and probably will be for years. She gets the benefit of marriage such as tax breaks and benefits of single life
You were making sense when you said we have our teachings and what we believe in Islam. But you lost me when you said a man having 4 wives will not make him value you. I'd say you should go back to the teachings of Islam and understand why they are allowed to marry more than one, and the rules and regulations that follows when they decide to marry more than one. Nut shell, I don't know any other religion which holds men very accountable in regards to their relationships with their wives than Islam. Please learn and stop spreading what you think.
i feel like people are so weird. I mean stuck on stupid. Y’all have been doing marriage other ways and have been failing. Your life completely wrapped in that man. She is sharing her life and yall mad
Just don't get married if you can't stand being in the same home as your spouse. That's crazy. AND IF YOU THINK THAT ONE OF THEM HASN'T DIPPED INTO SOMETHING ELSE, I GOT A BRIDGE FOR YOU.
Not living together? Who will cook his dinner? Who will clean his house? He must be a good man to be prepared to. . . .hire another woman to do that. 👍😁
that is not a marriage...when tow pl married they become one flesh,no one life is seperate from the other...is togetherness, ppl straying from God principles in marriage & doing their own thing. I'm not impress cery missleading
Yes ma’am me and my husband live in separate homes and we’ve been married almost 20 years, that’s why so many people are divorced cause they want to smother the other person and track their every more they don’t trust them cause they knew they couldn’t from jump I don’t worry about none of that women in my family divorce several time and married again I’m still with mine, and I can care less about what the next women or male thinks.
Sheryl Lee Ralph is not speaking of what she thinks marriage should be & what’s the best for others. She’s speaking of what her marriage is and what’s best for her. I love it! ♥️♥️♥️
I agree and I think it's smart that they don't live together🎯💯
@ Same Sis 💯💯💯
She's incredible. I'd like to be more like her. What a classy, smart, powerful, grounded soul. The sort of girlfriend we'd all love to have and be..I'm so happy for her. All my sisters deserve this. (Love from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤️)
Her marriage sounds like such a vibe, tbh! All of the fun together without the squabbles over laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc.
I really don't understand why anyone would care how she and her husband handle their business. She didn't say that you should do what they do.
I have always thought the perfect marriage is a marriage when ppl live separately. I'm with her. And ppl need to feel accomplished in there lives. You can still be in love with someone come together for dates and intimacy and go home to your place and be comfortable. I think it's genius. She is living my life..I Absolutely love it.
I agree! After being married once, I would live LAT a second time around. I know 3 women that live like this and it’s working out well!
@SimplisticallyDigital Then that's not a marriage at all but an open marriage. It's definitely not a marriage in God. You might as well stay single because the man can be committing adultery at his own place.
@@SimplisticallyDigital ok we got next. 😂
Totally in agreement! This is how I have always wanted it!
@ 🤭
10:58 She's an actress, he's a politician. She's decided not to drop her life for marriage. Whatever happens you know she'll not be as devastated like people who dropped everything to fit in a man's life
This is true. If she did, she would have been resentful and that marriage would not have lasted.
I saw this and clapped! I've always said this would be the ONLY way I would ever be married.
Exactly!
A former married seasoned mature woman once said: "I don't care if it's Billy Dee Williams as fine as he is, I don't want to see him everyday. Eventually his habits will take over and his deep luscious voice will get on my nerves. If I see him 2-3 times a week, we can really relax and be free to love on each other without the usual disagreements. Also I will miss him and want to make things extra romantic for him." 👩❤💋👨
Well one things for sure, there will no be walking on eggshells with that arrangement. She is in control of her own comings and goings as well as in control of her environment. Its step in the right direction because she is happy. The safest arrangement is to not be legally and financially tied to another person.. Stay free and stay happy.
BINGO 🎯💯 I Stay In My House You Stay In Yours 🥳
50/50. Lol 100/100 each person there own person..i love it
I will not be married to a man. It’s a contract that benefits the man mostly. My money will remain mine because I worked for it all my life. I can have a man in my life and be loyal without the contract. Men even if you are married to them they will cheat so what’s the point. Stay single and get your enjoyment the way you see fit!
Not really. It's all good --- until you want them or to be w them --- and they have someone else AND YOU DON'T
@@kaydubya6347 Any dude cheats on me, the other woman CAN HAVE HIM, lol! I am not a dog who has to beg for some dude to stay with me. He wants to go, he can GO! 😂😂
It’s nice to see a few aware men speaking out about men’s bad behaviour and supporting the Sisterhood. RESPECT!
Living apart honestly sounds great! I love my alone time, and any messes are my own (for better or for worse). No one's eating my favorite snacks or hogging the tv. If that's working for her, that's amazing!
My grandmother and grandfather lived like Sheryl Lee, and she .loved it. Grandfather tried to move where my grandmother was, and ended up living a couple of blocks from her. She said, I'm done with all that caretaking bs, and told him not to call her if he gets sick. She lived her life to the fullest, him, not so much. He definitely missed her more than she missed him
Doing this now and yes they miss you more. He's asking if I miss him, blah, blah, blah. No I don't.
I had a gorgeous wedding.
I had a fast divorce.
The End.
😂❤
Wow!I'm so sorry about your fast divorce and thank you for sharing your story! but I trust you've moved on and are doing better now!
I like the idea of the Living Apart Together idea which is pretty much what the first lady was doing. A woman is able to maintain her autonomy and men can maintain their financial goals. Neither one has to lose themself. These are things that married couples tend to complain about, so it might be a solution for some people especially if they can afford to do it.
The only reason this comment bothers me is that apparently the “man” has financial goals. All the women I know are so much better at saving for the future than men.
My grandma always told me to live separately if I ever got married lol.
@@jeannedd.2709 I hear you, the only reason I mentioned financial goals for men is because they tend to harp on this when they get divorced, or they claim that this is a reason it's best for men to stay unmarried so that they would avoid the financial strain/loss. I agree with you about certain women being great savers and I think it's awesome that your circle of women friends is financially disciplined. However, building wealth is also about risk taking and aggressive investing moves in the financial market. In the past women were not as active in the financial market as men although this is changing. So, both men and women have strengths in the area of preparing for the future and it really is an individual thing. Be blessed and keep doing your thing, that's great!
I agree with Sheryl 💯! I don't think it's for ppl who are heavily indoctrinated in tradition. Living apart keeps the attraction alive much longer. You don't get complacent and bored and resentful. I was in a 13 year relationship and by year 6, I was fantasizing about having my own room. Now that we have broken up, I can't imagine living with a man, but I have a man in my life that i enjoy. I love the freedom. He's never in my face long enough for me to start hating him. This way works for me, but not for many.
@@kikilicious99 Yeah, been married for 18, I would advise my son to have his own living space if he was in a long-term relationship. If I had a daughter, I would advise the same. Culture is changing, Women are able to support themselves and men can do their own domestic stuff or hire someone to do it. People assume intimacy/infidelity would be an issue, but I think media exaggerates the frequency of promiscuity. I'm older and I used to think that everyone was hypersexual since I grew up in the hood and there were less opportunities and activities to keep people busy. Now I realize that wasn't the case. There was a select few that lived like that. Hence why you have the baby mamas with multiple baby daddies and vice versa, lol. Be blessed
This is a thing now and I like it. Most men , if you live with them, expect all the amenities by default, meaning cooking, cleanng, laundry, errands, shopping, his personal assistant, his therapist and his sexworker on demand. No thanks. Have you heard the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Being in a separate house is like keeping dating alive and seeing each other special, iF you can trust him not to cheat. But men will cheat even while living with you, so there's that.
They will 100% cheat if they have their own space in a marriage I wouldn't ever trust it tbh
Some houses have a man cave where he spends time, and she has another part of the house where she spends her time alone.
Not good enough. Separate homes mean separate chores! Man cave means he still expects HER to do his housework.
🎯
I dont want marriage but if I had to get married, that's the arrangement I want!
Honestly, sometimes I think women WANT TO SUFFER. And that's okay, that's their choice, but they shouldn't drag other women into that mess. Sheryl is on point!👌🏾❤️
THEY DO
It's always the unhappy ones who are getting punched in the eye that run with the 'pretty girls will never get married'. There is a whole life outside/inside marriage. Having a ring and a name change doesn't mean anything, men can change immediately they get married or lead you down the line for 20 years and then ruin you. These 'special' ladies need to be humble and pray life doesn't humble them in the worse possible way.
Sherly Lee Ralph was married for 10years. Only she knows her experience. If this works for her, then amazing❤
She's in a cult. No matter what he does, she thinks God is giving him a pass and it's okay.
What is she talking about? Pretty girls get a lot of proposals, often right away, because the man wants to lock you down before you meet someone better. ROTFL.
Thank you for your honest thoughts on this!
The lady did not insist that marriage must be done her way, she only shared her own way and how perfectly it works for her.
That young lady at the end is spot on! I wish her all the blessings!
Ughhh, I've known so many women that thought marriage was a major accomplishment. Flexing, that they were picked by a man, so they were "better than." Never thinking that maybe, some of us are turning down proposals. Lol. Talk about putting these demigods on a pedestal.
Black woman and the hyphenated name flex. Smh every time. You proud of the hyphen, ain't you.
Now THAT should be a conversation. Turning down them proposals because YOU know he ain’t it and it would be better to be single than married to someone who doesn’t truly respect you.
Exactly
😂😂 Lol! You got me laughing when I read up to "Talk about putting this demigod on pedestal"😊
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
Personally, i would rather be single. But to each it's own 😅
Me too!
I would love to have two tiny houses next to each other but have your own space.
Next door will be a problem eventually. I share a duplex with a family member and know it wouldn't work with a spouse. He'd be lazy about cleaning, resulting in bugs and vermin that I'd have to deal with. He'd be noisy or smoke when I want peace and quiet and clean air. He would not want me to have peace.
Currently have a joint account with family member for house bills. We never touch it without discussion. It is great for those unexpected expenses like a busted water heater, leaky roof, new washer. Told a coworker who was getting married about the set up. She tried to do it with her new spouse. He tapped that account for any opportunity. If he bought laundry detergent, he'd take it from the joint account, because it was "for the house".
Glad to see that many in these comments are realist about the married lives of older couples. I think most of the ones who object to Ms. Ralph’s arrangements are single or newly married with fairytail-starry eyed images of what the life is like even after DECADES of marriage. My husband falls asleep on the couch a few nights a week and I’m not mad about sleeping like a starfish and not having to wear my earplugs and Apple Watch. It is possible to be married and not needing to be joined at the hip 24/7.
I actually love this set up. I have my own life and don’t need to be up under a man constantly. I prefer a man I only see a few times per week. She figured out what works for her. This is ideal for me.
I believe Cameron Diaz spoke about having separate bedrooms in marriage. I agree with both her, and Sheryl Lee Ralph. Especially as someone who has lived with a man. After a while it at times becomes a bit irritating. I’ve always wanted my own place, space, everything. Especially after experiencing living with someone. 😂
Ive long said the secret to a happy and lasting relationship is....separate houses!
Always get an education and keep getting new skills. Maintain your own assets, identity and lifestyle
Hi everyone. Ms Ralph is a grown woman that knows who she is, what she wants and what she will or will not tolerate. She is beautiful .She's grown, mature and stable. She doesn't exhibit naivety or immature behavior when it comes to pretty words from a man. If it did not work for her she would not be in the marriage. Sometimes people need to try something different to make it work. Thank you.
I really appreciate all the marriage teaching and preaching that I didn't need to be married for happiness and to always have my own when I grow up in the 70's. I was confused then but I learned what they were saying when I hit my 30's.
Tbh if it works for them, I think it's great, idk why anyone else feels the need to speak on it unless she's telling others how to live. Fr fr one of my hesitations about dating rn is I like my own space, my own decorating, my own groceries no one else is eating, and not having to share my TV lol so I'm kinda into it. You gotta trust your partner for it to work though
A lot of people lie and claim it works for them when it doesn't. They get addicted to dysfunction. That's why I don't believe most people when it comes to their relationships because most of them lie and behave like crabs in a bucket.
That's it there. A marriage like that would take an enormous amount of trust. If two people are married but living as though they are separate then don't be mad if the other person indulges in that freedom and stray. It's hard enough when married people live as married people, but then with them living separately, i would think it would increase the likelihood of infidelity given so much "space." They might as well be only dating.
Yes the actress has the perfect set up. I dreamt of that as a young girl. She is not telling anyone how to live just her way of living.
Its better to be single and happy than be in a miserable unhappy marriage. Stop watching Disney
There are some married couples who live in separate homes and there are also married couples who live in the same house and have separate bedrooms. This method works for some couples and they have been married for many years and I don't see anything wrong with it. Do what works for you. If I ever get married, I would definitely want to have my own space and have my own room and the husband can have his own space and have his own room, or I can just live in a dual home or separate home with the husband. In the Japanese culture, there are some married couples who live in separate homes and they have ben married for years and it works for them. I remember Princella the Queen Maker said that men and women should meet seldomly and if a couple is married, they should live separately as well.
I agree! You've just gotta do what works best for you.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
So being average/ugly automatically means you're being respectful, and being pretty means you're not, eh? Could she be a troll account?
For sure agree with the lady in purple. Having your own life/space is great for a relationship. A different house is a bit expensive and much, but your own room and social life, yes!
Also, i have to say, i really enjoy your videos. You actually add good commentary to your reaction videos, and not just ripping them from tiktok ^_^
Ikr also I'm not respectful at all to my husband and somehow he still decided to marry me and pay all my bills so idk what she thinks she's doing here maybe she's trying to indoctrinate all women into her woman hating religion
Thank you for your honest thoughts and kind words, I'm super glad you love our videos. Please don't stop liking, sharing, and stay tuned for more!
Much love 💕
3:01 it's not encouraged to get 4 wives, it is simply allowed. If anything it is highly discouraged from doing so because it is a huge responsibility.
It is good to emulate the prophet and he had multiple wives
I love it! She is living her best life! 😀
What do we care if she's happy that is all that matters. We all need our own space one way or another, and if you can afford your own space, wonderful!!!
Thank You for spreading awareness
That young lady at the end was wonderful to see. I wish Id been that tuned to the reality of men when I was her age
I sort of understand the lady who lives a separate lives from her husband. I am most comfortable when my husband sleeps in a different room. When we are in the same room, he is always trying to control everything. He will have comments about when I fall asleep, when I wake up, if I have phone on before sleeping, if I made the bed, if charged my phone, where I put my clothes. He is awesome in many ways but I just want him to do his own thing and leave me to adult on my own. I work as well. I have a stressful work life as well. As an adult, I get to chose what makes me happy, I don’t have to do things that make him happy. His stress relief mechanisms are not mine. He will never understand.
That LAST girl is COMPLETELY RIGHT 👍 I agree with her 💯 I have been single by choice now for almost 10 years and it's the BEST MOST PEACEFUL CHOICE I have EVER MADE 💯 PRAISE GOD HALLELUJAH 🙏... I doubt I will turn back 🎉🎉🎉
Her point about men not wanting women to enjoy s3x was good. I think s3x with men is not very impressive (hence why so many women fake it and have to satisfy themselves), and men know this deep down. They don't want women to enjoy it because honestly, they aren't often capable of providing a good experience.
I TOTALLY AGREED WITH BEING TOGETHER BUT LIVING APART. IT'S A MENTALLY AND NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT.
Stayin separate doesn’t separate us..distance is healthy
I love hearing Sheryl. She is so dynamic. Abbott Elementary is filmed in California and her husband is a Pennsylvania senator. Their income, lifestyle and careers are not average. We can't look at it with the same lens as we do our lives.
P.S Sheryl is 68 and they don't have kids together.
I completely understand her. My husband and I have spoken about we need two seperate houses to live in , because we would get along so much better. We would have time to miss each other and time to ourselves and we wouldn't be in eachothers space either. I would have things the way I like them and for him the same. To make a marriage last you need just as much time apart as together, because you will eventually get sick of one another! Facts people perfect example Dolly Parton and her husband!!
I have a cousin that lives separately from his wife and they love it, they can decorate how they want and when one goes over the other's house its like a sleepover.
I think being single is best but I still stand by my other comment about the first woman
Right on spot for a new video, love it
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Sheryl Lee is right.
The last one is gold. The lady 22 years without kids and financial bond this is real mariage
Rita Rudner said in a bit: I want a man in my life. I just don't want him in my house!"
Domestic servitude is not respect
A woman at marriage first, loses her identity: her familiy name. If he rejects her, she goes back to the prior state; so the people that once knew her by her married name, will not recognize her if see her name written. Will also end homeless, jobless, older, less educated..
As a dependent person, she depends on her partner to be fed, clothed, etc.. in exchange, she provides domestic service, and also compromises her health and life with every pregnancy.
Can someone who works 17hours a day have time to study? Have time to relax and be beautiful, energetic and joyful?
If she manage to survive that life, it is possible, that into her menopausic years, she might be changed for a fresher model..
I have seen that movie too many times, all the remakes decades after decades..
There is something not working in this pattern.
I can understand not living with my husband to a certain degree. While I value marriage, mostly for those who desire to have children, I enjoy spending time with myself. I have never been a woman who needed to be up under a man all day, and I don't want a clingy man in my life. I will spend time with my husband; however, unless it is an emergency, he knows not to disturb me while I am reading a book, watching a movie, going to one of my martial arts classes, etc. Also, I am a 100 percent in agreement with the lady who said she kept her finances separate while being married. Unlike her, I don't mind being legally tied to another human being; however, I keep my finances separate from my husband. My house is in my name, because I bought my house before I married him. I like it like this so that in the event of a split, I don't have to worry about my credit being ruined if I no longer have two incomes to pay the mortgage, car note, credit card bills, etc.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! Yes, It's important to understand what works best for you and your partner in your marriage and then go for it! Sheryl only shared what's working for her and she's cool with it.
Mrs. Senator Vincent Hughes is speaking facts. Two married people are the ONLY TWO people who decide what a happy, caring and devoted marriage would look like for them. Why so many divorces and broken up families? If their children are grown or they have no children, then it's their business if they do what they do.
My dream marriage is where I have my own home and we come together when we can. I need isolation and I have my own life, why do I have to give up who I am?
I think this is the only way I can be happy in a marriage. I don’t see myself cohabitating with another person. If he is going to cheat I don’t think whether or not we sleep under the same roof will matter. Men always find a way if that’s the intention. At least this way, I have my own life and home to go back to when the marriage ends
I literally told someone I want to live like Sheryl Lee Ralph if I have a partner. This is my way of keeping my autonomy, which I value. The only other way is a big house with plenty of room and come and go as I please.
I wouldn’t do separate houses but I’m definitely going to do separate bedrooms!!
Women who are saying they want to be married but live separately, then that's not really a marriage it is an open marriage, that man could be committing adultery at his house without her knowing. You might as well stay single for all that because that is definitely not marriage under God.
On the muslim part: it is not encouraged to have so many wifes, it is permissable, but there a lot of steps before one can do. For example the first wife must agree, second you have to have enough money to afford two seperate housings for those wifes (they can not and do not life at the same place!) Further he has to be able to treat all wifes equally and these wifes should be eighter divorces or widows. The providing does not only entail the monetarily but also emotionally providing. He can not prefere one wife over the others that is a huge sin and can render the marriage null. Funnily there is a part in the Koran that states that no one can anyone equal, so some places like tunesia forbade to marry a second wife because the important part of treating them equal can not be achieved. Frther in Islam marriage is more seen as a contract that should benefit the including parties and it is less romaticized. You as a wife can obviously state in your marriage papers that you wont accept any other wife. If he breaks that contract you are entitled to get your dowry and are immediately divorced. This is actually the basis but a lot of cultures try always to bend the rules because obviously men want to benefit from marriage and leave women with nothing. For example some men, so to not pay the dowry, make the women initiate the divorce by behaving discutingly and toxicly towards her, this obviously is also is against the marriage papers but of course this is always overlooked.
Wow!! Thanks so much for sharing this valuable insight here with us to learn from! I appreciate it.
@MaryjaneN_ no problem, but I know also a lot of other muslims who don't know any of this. But I think especially as a female muslim one should know their rights. Also I am always grateful for your videos and insight knowledge about such topics.❤️
I love me some Sheryl Lee Ralph 😍❤️
After 20 years of marriage where my husband has worked nights for most of it, I finally just moved into my own bedroom. Now I can keep the temperature where I want it (he likes it too hot), I don't have to deal with his snoring and farting, and I don't have to play dead just so I won't be coerced into sex in the middle of the night simply because I woke up long enough to use the bathroom. Everything else is normal in our marriage, but I simply cannot stand sleeping next to another person.
Giiiiirls❤ If you do not want to be part of a polygamous marriage, you simply have to voice this condition before the marriage. In addition, you and your future husband can agree on the shore what your marriage should be like, who serves whom, whether you want children or not, what are your needs, whether you want to live together or separately. This is all negotiable. Islam is flexible in this matter and allows all parties to choose what suits them. But these details should always be discussed before marriage and you should know your rights. Islam does not force you to be in a polygamous marriage if you do not want it and it hurts you. Hug y’all
I like this idea. I can’t imagine living with a man forever in the same place. I’m not the clingy type and I like men to do their own laundry and cleaning after themselves 😊👍🏼
If I was forced to ever get married to a male again, this would be perfect. It's a plus that their not in the same state.
My sister always said that the only way to have a successful marriage is to buy a duplex and drill a hole in the wall
I think she was right
😂😂 The " And drill a hole" got me all cracked up!
Jokes apart! If it works perfectly for her, why not?
She is like Oprah and Steadman - living separate lives and coming over to visit when needed.
PERFECT❤
Im going to have rp agree with the lady in the purple the loss is hard so id have to agree you both need your own lives cause it's true if my mother and all my aunts didnt want to tell the truth at all. My mom did teach me to always have my own but yet didn't say why but in return it made me a target men hated i made good money straight outta high school. They easily became jealous or couldn't keep up with the things id like to do and no im not paying a guys way. Guys can be predators you gotta be careful
I love it
I think Frida and Diego’s way with the homes is the best way.
I thinks it is very healthy to have also your own time during marriage. My parents for example planed their vacations often seperately unless we were going somewhere. My mom needed that and my dad needed that. Sure living in completely different places might be too much for some people but if its working for her I don't see why not
Culdn't agree more with all of the ladies in this video (and also the man) !
15:03 as onther celibate girl, I 100% agree
This is the PERFECT marriage. No man to disturb ur peace, make a mess in your home etc. “The lady in the purple” is actress Sheryl-Lee Ralph. I would live in separate bedrooms or home with a marriage. I DONT want a man in my space everyday. Most of these women that sway that they would never live separately from their man are the same women who are miserable in their marriage because that man is stressing them out and abusing them and on top of that the man STILL cheats. I would also not combine finances nor pay taxes together with a man. Nope
Women of this age can see themselves married and living in separate homes.
She has 2 kids, so i think there eas a tome they lived together.
So i think that she decided to live separate later in life when the kids were grown.
I dont know if she decided divorcing him would cost to much and this was the next best option.
Typically women from her generation are not like this, but more traditional.
Maybe they have an "agreement", you do you and i do me.
Women are waking up from their sleep. I look back and I wish I never got married. I still would have my kids even without a husband. I love being a baby mama. I love being single. I wish your content was there in my childhood. Let me encourage you not single by choice women. It's OK to be single ❤❤❤😂
Thank you so much for your honest thoughts and kind words! I appreciate it. I'm glad that you made a decision and doing quite great! Much love 💕
Exceptional marriages typically include exceptional humans. Most people are NOT that great.
As long as both the married couple agree, on their free will, and conscious mind, and formulate their living arrangements_ the marriage works. Communication, honesty, and transparency are fundamentals.
Hey that's the best way to have a marriage. Us living together me dedicating my life to your care naw I'm good.
The first one it is possible they like each other but not love each other or vice versa they love each other but don't like each other
The first woman is living the life. They are still married and have been and probably will be for years. She gets the benefit of marriage such as tax breaks and benefits of single life
You were making sense when you said we have our teachings and what we believe in Islam. But you lost me when you said a man having 4 wives will not make him value you. I'd say you should go back to the teachings of Islam and understand why they are allowed to marry more than one, and the rules and regulations that follows when they decide to marry more than one. Nut shell, I don't know any other religion which holds men very accountable in regards to their relationships with their wives than Islam. Please learn and stop spreading what you think.
i feel like people are so weird. I mean stuck on stupid. Y’all have been doing marriage other ways and have been failing. Your life completely wrapped in that man. She is sharing her life and yall mad
Just don't get married if you can't stand being in the same home as your spouse. That's crazy. AND IF YOU THINK THAT ONE OF THEM HASN'T DIPPED INTO SOMETHING ELSE, I GOT A BRIDGE FOR YOU.
The Bible states that we are to marry just one!!!!!! One Husband one wife! 1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:12 and Titus 1:6
Not living together? Who will cook his dinner? Who will clean his house? He must be a good man to be prepared to. . . .hire another woman to do that. 👍😁
that is not a marriage...when tow pl married they become one flesh,no one life is seperate from the other...is togetherness, ppl straying from God principles in marriage & doing their own thing. I'm not impress cery missleading
Yes ma’am me and my husband live in separate homes and we’ve been married almost 20 years, that’s why so many people are divorced cause they want to smother the other person and track their every more they don’t trust them cause they knew they couldn’t from jump I don’t worry about none of that women in my family divorce several time and married again I’m still with mine, and I can care less about what the next women or male thinks.
I'm just DATING and I regret it. He'll no! Marriage has no benefits so I'll pass. Too much drama and nothing but dust pockets.
A