So I decided to become a psychopath in BitLife and somehow developed the touch of death
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- I'm not the most successful thief, but at least I became an effective prisoner...
Watch live at: / eazyspeezy
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▶ Instagram: / eazyspeezy
Welcome to BitLife where you can live off your fantasies, or in my case, make someone become as miserable as possible. That's my favorite personally. I decided to become a psychopath and steal a lot of money but only ended up with $38,326. Kinda disappointing. At least I developed an interesting fighting technique in prison.
#EazySpeezy #BitLife #Simulation
Nope, this isn't a speedrun today cause I like doing casual stuff too sometimes! Don't worry, more speedrunning will be on the way but I hope you enjoy regardless
@Anna Henrichsen haha
What will your next speedrun be?
Speedrun nerf n-strike for the wii, bet you won't.
You won't speedrun vex4.io
Please do more casual things
"Wait, i can commit a crime already?" -every children ever
me when i stole a yo-yo when i was 7
@@stjeep Why wasn't i that cool. I stole like 20 pens, then a teacher spotted me
@@AnAceBritwhat were you planning to do with 20 pens LOL!!
@@stjeep I'm not too sure, I guess I just wanted to see how many pens I could aquire without getting noticed, like a pen goblin
@@AnAceBrit lol, you're a pen goblin XD
"so i was forced to drop out of the middle school for just stealing from a pimp??"
*literally stole a diamond*
Yeah that would do it
1)pimp isn't an official profession in US;
2)IRS would have a lot of questions about a jobless guy having a diamond.
So nope, here a pimp would be the one in jail.
@@TheArklyte ig that makes sense
"i'm in the mood to make others miserable"
*eazyspeezy woke up and chose violence*
hey its my favorite jojo, prison lesbian
Hello daughter.
Well Jolyne did the same am I wrong?
@@everestlol4309 Jolyne isn’t a lesbian though
@@emu2746 its a joke lol
* Ages up *
**Looks go down**
I didn’t expect to be called out like that.
Bruh how to replies
@@BedrockDragon yes
@@BedrockDragon No
fr i thought u were supposed to get prettier when u hit puberty 🏃♀️💨
@@brunettebrbie16 same
Character: *Smarts 90%*
Also the same character: *Gets sent to jail as a middle schooler*
Who the fuck said that if you are smart you cannot be a criminal
Big Criminal are not dumb they all have brain or puppet of a big brain
Intelligence and wisdom are two very different things
“Now we already have someone who wants to be our friend”
Me: Reject humanity
Become monke
I REJECT MY HUMANITY JOJO!
Reject humanity
return to *m o n k e*
Embrace friendship
Reject loneliness
Was waiting for that “Become monke” ending. Got it
I remember one particular BitLife run where a combination of luck and good choices allowed my character to survive so long that he got to watch his bloodline die out as his grandkids peacefully passed from old age. Keeping him happy became... difficult, with how time was starting to inexorably erase everything he ever cared about.
damn when did ur character die
how long did he survive
God damn, how old was he?
Answer the questions or stop lying.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
My oldest character got PTSD at age 110 bc his multiple wives kept dying and he had healthy relationships will all of them and bc for some reason I decided to live in a haunted house that had a demon Wich would attack my character every once in a while
He got to age 129
Also I didn't have any kids bc I hate having kids in bitlife
I like to imagine that this game is just a god like entity that lets you actually control peoples live and playthroughs like this are the reason serial killers and mafioso are a thing xD
*oh*
same as all viruses and diseases/epidemics are just some dude on plague inc
@@icedragonslayer467 bro covid is just some guy in area 51 playing plague inc on the wrong computer
@@SkyStarGazing btw i think hes getting good
@@theorange3842 almost *too* good.
What difficulty they be playing on?
"I find myself wondering a lot lately about how nothing is on fire, fire is on things" - Bitlife, 2020
Best video showing how committing minor crimes lead to a full life in crime including murder even though you don't think it'll go that far.
We need more BitLife
BitLife more like ShitLife
@@FriedMonkey362What’s with all these bad “insults”? Like they aren’t even smart, or funny at all. It’s just annoying.
@@Noone-tx6xq what
@@Noone-tx6xq shut up, im talking to no one
@@FriedMonkey362 isn't that your life?
This is 100% gonna be edited into an ad by the bitlife team
prison inmate: who’d ya kill mate?
speezy: b u t t e r a s s🧍♀️
Nice pfp(unironically)
@@awesomeninja1311 tone dead barddd
@@jupiter2175 tone deaf*
@@awesomeninja1311 No he meant dead
@Gabriel Damasceno Meurer Ehe Te Nandayo!
When the first friend of your life has the name *JOseph* JOrdan and is crazy you know your life is gonna be great
@@Rqzou well now it is
The way the prison escape minigame works is the guard moves 2 squares in your direction. If there's a wall between you and him, he won't be able to move past the wall.
6:50 the mall cop was paul blart
I'm new and i love your content. You are so freaking entertaining man 🥺❤
Thank you! Hope you enjoyed this video too!
Banana pie
@@oza2406 Key lime Pie
Apple Pie
Pumpkin Pie
0:11
Their parents did some speed running of their own ;)
7:17 literally one of the easiest things I’ve ever seen.
10:08 you’re not serious😭!
2:19 i keep thinking that dog is some sort of bird
You gotta do more of this, I'm addicted rn. This game is so fun to watch and play.
Chef: Has a tv
Eazy: hE dOuEsNt EvEn HaVe AnY gOoD sTuFf
Nobody:
EazySpeezy when he makes a friend: I can EXPLOIT THIS
Lmao havent seen a single comment about 0:38 "little ho elementary school"
"I don't care about happiness, I care about money." -EazySpeezy
5:47
GTA V Speed run???
“wow my happiness is struggling a bit”
“TIME TO DO MORE CRIMES!”
There are multiple guides online showing how to escape the """impossible""" prisons.
Ayo stop stealing my stats bitlife: 0:16
This was absolutely hilarious, keep it up, man really love the content.
"I don't really care about happiness, I care about money."
Spoken like a true businessman
This feels like an ad for the game
My life would be complete if eazy is somehow able to speedrun mini metro
I once played bitlife and killed 326 people and escaped prison 4 times
It's not hard at all to become a mass murderer on bitlife, but it's the dedication and the grind that hold most people back
8:22 - 27 years. “The leader of Ecuador, Maritza Gonzalez, has declared that Bolivia and Kazakhstan represent an axis of evil.”
What?
It took me 7 minutes to realise this is the funny speedrun man.
Honestly please play more of this, this is great
12:59 i love this moment of the video
11:17 "oH nO tHeY oNlY gAvE uS oNe BeD wHaTeVeR sHaLl wE dO??"
I block of cream cheese
2 sticks of block
Mix
(In the same bowl)
Half a tablespoon of salt
4 table spoons of milk
2 teaspoons of vanilla
I bag of powdered sugar
Mix
Add any wanted food coloring but not too much because it will start to taste like chemicals
And viola you have yourself a big bowl of buttercream icing. That's the stuff on most good bakery cakes. If anyone reads this and wants better measurements just ask
5:14 cries in loser
Once I played a game of BitLife where I wanted to be a corrupt cop. I didn’t get a car, and I needed money to get a car, so I tried to be a police officer. They rejected me because of my lack of a car, so I stole one and they gave me the job. It was the funniest moment I’ve ever had in BitLife
5:40 Wait- How many times did you escape from police-
Those judo lessons leading to a touch of death in prison is something the cool kids would call...a Brick Joke.
Tip to anyone playing bitlife-
If you max out martial arts, use the final unlocked move, and use it on your opponent's skull or neck, you will kill them 100% of the time. (From what I have experienced)
I did this, and killed every other person in juvie with me
IN BITLIFE OF COURSE, PLEASE FBI DONT COME FOR ME
One time my friend played BitLife and he randomly got the name Saki Yoshida.
Saki then proceeded to die of STDs.
_There are no accidents._
_-Master Oogway_
4:13
To be continued
"We can't make them hate us TOO much because we definitely can use them later." So THAT'S how life works.
a quick tip you might know, if you wanna commit a crime as a little kid i usually go be a porch pirate. i usually get over 10$ each time and up to 150$ depending on what stuff i get. you don’t really get caught* a lot, and if you do they rarely call the police. they usually just punch u or sum then you’re free
i wasted 12 min watching someone throw away their life to crime. truly one of the best scared straight ads ive seen
I was watching a video on cracking the zodiac code when this came out
Now you got me interested
SPEEDRUN GARFIELDS SCARY SCAVENGER HUNT, IM BEGGING YOU
Black belt while still being in elementary school? Godamn powerhouse
Him: *about to escape*
SWAT police: are you sure ‘bout that?
"I feel like there is a joke somehwere in that name"
"Wheres moorehead? I need moorehead!"
"I don't care about happiness I just care about the money"
*Greediness summarized*
EazySpeezy: i dont care about happiness I only care about money
me: I feel u
So this is what goes through the head of an Anime Villain... Amazing.
Nobody talking about the number of years the character lived...
I’d honestly watch hours of this
It always makes you feel richer than you actually are when a successful TH-camr doesn’t have in-game purchases you do
Spent the first 2 min looking for the timer before I realized it wasn't a speedrun lmao, still a good vid tho
Interesting speedrun was not expecting this
I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve been about to leave when the police spawn on top of me-
HELL YEAH AQUARIUS LETS GOOOO!!!btw amazing vid I couldn’t stop laughing for some reason thx so much for this amazing vid keep up the good work!!
One time I wanted to be a mathematician in this game, but never figured out what I was supposed to do or what buttons to press. I only knew about the "+Age" button. So I ended up dying at the age of 80 with no job (I was upset the game kept offering me to be a bus driver instead of a job in Maths), a wife who kept divorcing me and then trying to remarry me and having -$50,000 my entire life. I am still confused on how I lived so long while being negative broke.
I once died at 10 because I annoyed my pyromaniac sister and she chain-sawed me straight in half horizontally, I WAS 10!
TH-cam: 8 comments
Me: can I see them?
TH-cam: N O
Btw I love your speed run vids. ( so all of your vids)
After watching this I realized I was watching EazySpeezy
Trains operate on system time, if it’s noon then you can rob a train at noon, at sunset irl you have a one minute window to rob the sunset train etc
The fact that he died with a funny number makes it funny
"Wow, they were fast" best quote of EazySpeezy
You've been hit by, you've struck by a smooth criminal! BAAAAW!!!
"kinda the perfect time to die" when its on *69*. I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING
I love how the child’s birthday is also my birthday
"But I don't care about happiness, I care about money."
Dang
When you die but its at 69 years old
If you want to, speedrun Yo-Kai Watch, it’s quite underrated (any version is fine but I suggest the original)
Day 4 of asking eazy to speed run Oregon trail
Loose Emma, Ripe Carrie, Bubbles. Hardened criminals.
10:50 aight my sister is named jade and one of my best friends is called Maya, this ain’t no coincidence
I don’t know if anyone has said this yet in the comments - but to rob a train the time you are robbing it in game has to be the same time it is irl - kind of annoying but it is what it is
“I don’t like happiness, I just like money.”
- Inspirational Quote from EazySpeezy
"WAIT, I CAN COMMIT A CRIME ALREADY?! *okay, perfect* "
yeah, *wait what-*
I watched a vid that made me feel my heart beat.
I watched this and was cured instantly.
Love your videos☺️
I bet eazy is to scared to speedrun hill climb, smh
Uploaded on my birthday. I couldn't have asked for a better gift
The train syncs with real time. It’s worth it cuz you get millions
You know that average day when you get arrested like, 7+ times in the course of a few years? Yeah, good times.
Easyspeedy:is imposible man
Me:but if you go
Easyspeedy:DID I STUTTER
I love how whenever a click on this video a bitlife ad comes up.
Violence is never the answer.
Violence is the question, and the answer is always *yes*
FIRST I LOVE YOUR VIDS
Thank you!
they are great
@hukyuky animates oh look who commented easy did so he does
What I learned from bitlife is: anything that resembles an uppercut = death
Wish You could name yourself... I'd name myself "Supreme Calamitas" and try to develop mage skills.
The one escape you were stuck on is so easy and it was INFURIATING seeing you give up
Run 2 shall be the final 2020 boss for you, and if you play 100% then it can just be torture!
Everything became even more funnier when you died at the funny number
nice
Ah yes, the ten year old master criminal that ravages through elementary school.