When growing up we always had home clothes and would change into them as soon as we got home. Everybody I knew at that time did that. My parents still do it to this day. Obviously, that habit was driven by the scarcity of resources. But home clothes are also much more comfy and do mean a lot less stress. One does not need to do laundry quite as frequently, less ironing, hanging, folding, etc. I think this is another example of the negative impact of overconsumption.
I love that you put your hand bags back on those shelves. Why not have them on display and enjoy them even more than just one at a time when you use them? In my mind, this is the right way to fully value/enjoy the things you already own and love...have them where you can see them everyday. I do not see it as being hypocritical in any way to your overall message to be enjoying the things that you already own. With regard to what in the past used to make me want to shop, it was usually when I was trying to avoid dealing with something in my life...avoiding a difficult decision, avoiding necessary self reflection, avoiding some undesirable but necessary task, etc. Cleaning and shopping were two of my "go to" avoidance mechanisms.
Ah, this is helpful, your "past reasons for shopping" are really striking a chord with me because it makes me realize that perhaps there are "difficult decisions" in the background even when I don't think there are... Right now specifically there's the "maybe I should stop taking auditions, or take a break from that" decision at the back of my mind. Even if I already set out to do a few specific ones this Fall, it's possible that after the first couple I won't feel like doing the rest. And I could save a lot of money by not doing them if I really don't think it's a worthwhile pursuit. Thinking about it, I've always kind of had that decision on the back-burner for the past few years, definitely during my "shopping period" too, so it's likely that that looming decision (or lack of decision) has been a contributing factor...in addition to not "succeeding" as I shared earlier!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I can identify with your "looming" decision re: auditions. With the caveat that my livelihood is not dependent on my sport, I guess the closest thing I have to an audition would be a competition. Earlier this year I decided to take the remainder of the year off from competition after going at it pretty hard for a few years. It was easy to get caught up in it without reflecting on whether it was really fulfilling the original purpose...which for me was always just motivation for self-improvement, getting feedback, and testing myself (as opposed to "winning" or attaining a certain year end rating which involves a lot of variables completely out of my control, like who else shows up that is better than me). I don't know if you get valuable feedback from your auditions that may make them worthwhile, or maybe if they motivate you to improve certain aspects of your performance that makes them worthwhile, even if you don't land the position you are going for.
@@pamelapeterson2987 Unfortunately we don't often get direct feedback from the "judging panel", but it is still a game of "beating yourself" as far as giving a better performance than you did last time, or even just feeling like your playing more closely represented your true abilities rather than folding to nerves or lack of preparation or whatever it may be. And on the days where one does feel like they "played well", whether or not your "best show" is able to advance to the next round or possibly needs more refinement for next time. And yes they certainly motivate me to practice like nothing else...it may be an expensive way to get that kind of motivation, but it works...and there's also always that tantalizing possibility that someday it will lead to a better job, so I just can't seem to quit right now!
The parents of young children should get a free pass to wear anything at all. Being clean and awake are major achievements. I used to work in childcare, and I’d go home covered in just about every substance that the body can produce (with obvious exceptions). It’s very sensible not to ruin your best clothes.
I find that really interesting, the thing where people wear different clothes at home than out. I have never done that, i get up in the morning get dressed and then wear the clothes until i go to bed, no matter if i go out or dont. But my son does stay in his Pyjamas until he has to go out and if not all day, he mostly work from home and as soon as he gets home he is in his pj again. And that is what he likes because he started it the moment i was not responsibel for him Dressing anymore. I would feel miserabel but he loves it.
Yes, it is interesting! I think if I were to wear my outfits for both home and going out, my whole concept of style would be a bit more relaxed and prioritize comfort and easy movement, whereas for "work" I'm okay with more restrictive materials (denim, faux leather) in the name of presenting the "style" that I prefer, to people outside. I still like these styles aesthetically, even if no one is going to see, but maybe it's not worth the sensation of wearing "less comfortable clothes" if people don't see.
My brother is the same way. I think it's a sensory thing. I also tend to dress very comfortably at home and I'll only dress up if I have things to do actively in the house or actively outside.
I live in sweatpants! I work from home and it’s the best option for comfort and getting cold easily. I don’t even have kids (I’m prone to stains anyway 😅) but I also feel strange about using my “outside” clothes while at home. I think that’s a habit that was drilled into me since childhood, we would always change into home clothes so that the nice outfits lasted longer. It might be one reason why I couldn’t justify a higher cost for nicer sweatshirts even though they are what would be considered a reasonable cost per wear item.
Although we love the "people at home" we expect them to love us as we are. The public, however, may need just a bit of coaxing to give us the benefit of the doubt ( although why we should care is another matter?)
I was just thinking about what you said about influencing to participate in “trends”. For example I dislike summer and I don’t get excited about buying or dressing a specific way. However when fall comes I’m a child in a candy store. I enjoy and have so much fun that’s when I may buy something. Fall is such an easy season for someone that loves to wear black. Doesn’t require much to look good and put together.
I found that during my no-buy year I was really good at just not buying. At the time I thought, oh look at me growing as a person and battling the demon of shopping and wanting new things. Then the year ended and I was good for a little bit, but without having that strict "rule" I'd set of a no-buy year, things ended up derailing and all I thought I'd learned and changed about myself went out the window. Without those strict guidelines I had no structure and no concrete reason not to shop. It was gradual and I like to think I am a more conscious consumer, but to be honest I think I've just changed what I shop for. I'd love to see if you fare better than I did and through your journey maybe find ways for me to get back on track. I need to find a way to balance the dopamine of shopping when I don't have specific rules in place to adhere to.
I will certainly try! And perhaps I have the added incentive of "doing it publicly", which may or may not help you if the main reason I don't fall off the wagon is this level of public accountability. However I have the feeling already that my "creative energy" is part of what I used to use in "shopping", and now I've truly found some kind of purpose in learning about the consumer environment of society, it's using all of that energy towards something else. I might try and set up "follow-up rules" for the "year after no buy", which is just another way to keep doing a kind of no-buy or low-buy I guess, with the rules etc. but I wonder if that IS a reasonable way to keep the balance or if you've tried that already, like having a budget or number of items that is your goal for the year/certain time period?
I think that once you really notice what triggers you and lowering your exposure and looking at what you already have with admiration!! that not shopping really will be easier?
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I've tried a variety of tactics, like you mentioned and all work to some degree but so far nothing has "stuck". It was gradual and the creep came back slowly. My reasons have changed and my parameters for what I look for or from where I will shop have evolved and yet, I still find myself getting sucked into buying more than I want/need. I look forward to seeing you do better, so I can find inspiration :)
Another great video. I think your instinct that we shop when we’re stressed and under time pressure, AND we shop when we are bored, is true for many of us. I have gone from a stressful, busy job to not working at all for the last 6 weeks. When I was working, I shopped because I felt I deserved it, I had earned it, and I was compensating for a lack of time to pursue things that made me happy. The first few weeks of not working, I felt like I might never buy any clothes again. But the last few days, I have felt the old pull of my favourite shops again, especially as the seasons change (and autumn is my favourite season of all for fashion). Sigh. At the end of the day, I think it comes from a feeling of lack, even if we’re not conscious of what it is we think we don’t have. And then we kid ourselves that if we just had more time we wouldn’t have to treat ourselves so much.
Yes there is ALWAYS going to be some reason to shop, and I'm realizing more and more that this idea doesn't only come from within ourselves or our own circumstances, but also the sirens of capitalism and pursuit of profits, where our supreme "value" comes from our ability to buy...in some way it kind of makes something simple (shopping, being able to say "yes or no" to buying something) so much more fraught with judgements and distractions and associations, drumming up this feeling of lack in society at large... Sorry to get all dramatic there but that's where we're at today 🤣 thank you for sharing!
I work in an office 5 days a week in person and the dress code is very formal so whenever im not in work im in full slob mode and I refuse to feel bad for it! Im at home I should feel comfy in what im wearing ♡
For me it needed about three years after my last child to be able to get dressed normally everyday. I brought them to daycare in sweatpants as I worked from home then a lot (hello, Covid!). It’s just reasonable to wear these practical, easy to wash clothes. I also kept a few things I wasn’t sure about in these years. It’s a year now I actually try really to dress how I want to be seen again. Give yourself grace, it’s a special time with the little ones, also with clothes ❤
PS. I actually am buying some new things since then, but very considerate as I really got used to having a small wardrobe and also I don’t have time nor energy to research for lots of new clothes. I am better in not buying in phases of stress. It’s worth it to just wait a bit longer. With the kids growing constantly your wardrobe needs will change, too. Having less in general is a good way to find out what you need. For example I loved wearing long, wide legged cotton pants or long skirts to layer over a sweat pant or Leggins (or over not shaved legs) to look kind of dressed outside when they were toddlers. But as I ride the bike with them very often now I don’t anymore because they aren’t practical for that and at the same time aren’t dressy enough to go to occasions where I don’t ride my bike. I am very happy I only have two of the sweat pants and two of these very long skirts although I lived in them the last two years - this year I prefer different pants and comfortable, mid-length dresses and skirts or shorts, depending on temperature if I wear a pair of leggings underneath. But I added a pair of short Leggins to wear under skirts and dresses to be able to cycle short distances in them and to wait in front of my sons school without revealing my underwear (it’s very, very windy there 😅). Also we started a vegetable garden I needed waterproof, comfortable shoes for that could get dirty. So I purchased some. Being a parent is a journey. The next years will see a lot of changing needs.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sure there will be changing needs, but I also think I probably already have most of the things I need in my closet already - it'll be very interesting to see if (or when, I'm sure there will be some circumstance!) something really does come up where I don't already have something. Maybe that's the next way to share in this journey when I'm "not on a no buy"...the challenge will be kind of continuing, but the spirit or intention of it might be different, with "not buying things" no longer being a restriction but rather a default condition for the experiment of "using what I have", if that make sense!
I saw a bit of mini me! How cute! When you get just a little bit conscious of runway you add some funny dance steps to leaven the seriousness! This glimpse into your absolutely perfect balance of life as important AND fun is so appealing! I bet your kids are delighted with the playful side!
I actually think increasing our attachment to the things we own is a good thing. Not in an "I love (my) stuff" way, but in a "this item means a lot to me because..." way. (Though "I like this item because I like it" is still a perfectly valid reason to be attached to something, it's only when we follow it up with thinking that we must therefore want/like anything remotely similar that it becomes a problem!) Having a stronger attachment to a specific item makes us less likely to replace it, ignore it, forget about it, thoughtlessly get rid of it, etc. It can make us slightly less likely to use it if we attach too much importance to it - like sentimental items we keep, but never use, for instance - but if our reason for having it is for its aesthetic value, that can still be a good thing, as indulging in that kind of appreciation once in a while can offer an alternative to the desire to indulge in the appreciation of new stuff (i.e.: shopping for the sake of looking at new things; their value is in their newness, whilst the value of the thing we already have lies in its value to us as an individual, which is a stronger motivator/reward - especially as its connection to us increases over time, whereas newness will only fade.) Seeing other people with a strong attachment to their things, using them over & over, not being swayed to replace them, just because they're out of style, etc can also be a good counterpoint to constantly seeing people replace their things (though I appreciate that not everyone responds the same way, & some people will take it as an advert, given the culture we live in, & its online aspect especially). Having a deeper, more personal attachment can help reinforce that this is what works "for me", & my specific circumstances, & why, in contrast to "this is the perfect universal product, everyone should buy it" messaging. This is helpful both in helping ourselves overcome that messaging, & can be a useful tool in showing other people a potential alternative to blindly following said messaging. I guess it's the difference between having a concious attachment to things/individual items (knowing what we like & use, & Why), & an unconcious attachment to stuff in general (knowing that having things is rewarding, but not really knowing why or how).
@@elven_grandma3138 I agree wholeheartedly with this. Mending a much-loved old jumper is much better than buying a new one. It’s just a better attitude - not to treat things as fleeting and disposable, but to care about them and treat them accordingly.
Yes LOVE this, thank you so much for this comment. I think I still feel both sides of it, where there is that huge benefit to being attached to things if it means we value and take care of them, and won't be swayed by the "shiny new options"...but still, something in me thinks that it would be "better" to be able to let go of that thing, even if we don't actually let it go, (if it's a material object) without too much of a struggle. Or rather to perhaps have fewer of the things in the "truly special" category where I'd feel sad to lose them. It's easy to agree that the "unconscious attachment to stuff in general" is not the desired way, and maybe there are even more levels - conscious attachment where we use and appreciate and take care of our things, and then emotional attachment where we would feel disproportionately devastated to lose what is ultimately a material object, and I'm still working my way down from having too much emotional attachment to the level of conscious attachment, for some of my "things".
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Why is it "better" to be able to let things go, though? Yes, there is always the possibility that something may become lost or damaged, & most things do wear out eventually, but if you have no intention of replacing an item until it becomes physically necessary, I think being determined to keep it as long as possible makes us more likely to take extra care of it, to learn how to store, protect, mend or repair it. It can also mean we put a lot more time & thought into replacing it, since the form said replacement takes matters, whereas if we've already mentally let go of it, we're far more likely to move on with little to no extra thought. Like you said, there's definitely tiers of attachment, & it's tricky, because, an "appropriate level of attachment" is extremely subjective, & varies from person to person (& item to item). So as much as we can talk & advise & listen to each other, in the end we do have to figure it out for ourselves. It can be tempting to take the all or nothing approach (e.g: "having too much attachment to things is bad, so I shouldn't have anything in my life I'm not willing to lose") because its simple. But applying a single, overarching, rule isn't actually any more of a conscious approach than just buying things on a whim. (Not that I think that's what you're doing - one of the reasons I love your content is just how much thought you put into everything, & that you keep thinking & talking about things over & over - just that it's a temptation we all fall into sometimes: humans love neat, actionable, solutions. Especially nowadays, when we're constantly being sold 5/10/25/30 of the best things/techniques/places, etc, for every time/place/occasion!)
You know, I guess you're right! I actually don't believe that the purpose of life is to avoid all pain (the pain of losing a loved object, for example) so maybe there isn't much of a benefit to "being detached from everything" or able to let them go. It might have been kind of a knee-jerk reaction I was having, to the "idea" of stoicism and avoiding "suffering" ...but I actually think that kind of "loss" can be romanticized or bittersweet, and add to the meaning of life rather than be something to totally miss out on or avoid, through the cultivation of no attachment to material things. I kind of touch on how I am uncomfortable with the idea of "don't have anything you're not willing to lose" in an upcoming video (this Saturday, I think!) about the "Minimalist Rules" and whether they work for me, so even before reflecting on your comments here there was something inside me that didn't quite agree that that approach was optimal... Thank you so much for this conversation.
It is such an interesting predicament! Unsurprisingly, the time I tend to spend the most on clothes is when I'm attending the most to fashion at large and my own clothing. I find when I treat fashion as a hobby, it does lend itself more to overspending. Otherwise I'm just pleased I look good enough to work. But it's quite fun! But it gets me more interested in owning new to me things. Part of me firmly believes the best way to do a no buy is to become preoccupied with other hobbies. But I quite enjoy this one 😅
Great thoughts! I found my style (similar to your daily mom outfit👍) became less influenced by outside sources after kids. I wanted to look nice when I went to work but I made huge changes. No more dry clean items, no more white (!), no more tight styles, or anything that was even slightly uncomfortable. Soft fabrics, breathable, easy care, and still cute became my style. Likewise on hair, makeup, no more fake nails, etc. style is more like comfort than can pass for fancy 😆. ( I want to feel like I’m still wearing the sweats!) Oh-edited to add-I like your purse display. We should all display our treasures and loved items. 🥰👍
Note the fact that the no buy has been easier since you have been free of desire. That is important to note. How did you find yourself free of desire for all of these stuff? How do you extend this condition and prolong it so that you will not be in that position of relentless desire and chase? So interesting!
Yes! I hope to learn how to prolong the condition of freedom from desire! I think part of it right now is that my life became a bit "routine", where I wasn't exposed to much to desire for the past few months, and my "stress patterns" have been pretty much the same - no "new" stress in my life. My job just started again and I can already feel a little stress creeping back in with the commute and endless preparation that I have to do to keep up, and I will be curious to see if I still feel free from the "consumer cycle" of wanting new things!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I’ve been talking to my therapist about shopping lately. When I cut off shopping, my mind immediately seeks for something else to obsess about. It’s a pattern. I don’t know if you have noticed the same. In the end I feel like the overconsumption, the migrating to clean beauty, to “conscious” brands (which are usually very expensive), the overachieving, overdoing, it’s all the same. It’s a rats race. I listened to a Buddhist monk talk about this, and he said, when you see yourself falling into these patterns ask yourself, do you want to be in a race with a lot of rats? It’s just so true, specially when we talk about stuff. Like what the hell are we all doing with our lives obsessing over all of this stuff which bares absolutely NO meaning. I still want stuff, I want makeup, clothes, I want to look a certain way, I want my skin to be this or that way. But in a way, I’m now looking at my mind creating all of these ideas and desires, while trying not to act on them, instead just sit here with my awful stay at home mom clothes and just doing my makeup with what I have. Right now I’m just trying to SEE the desire and not act on it. It’s hard but it’s definitely more relieving than obsessing over the desire and spending so much time of my life researching STUFF to buy.
@andreasamudio7272 this is incredible. Thank you for sharing. I have noticed that the habit of "creating on youtube" has become a kind of replacement for shopping for me, so there may be a period of working out some kind of sustainable relationship with that. Which is kind of ironic to probably eventually be posting videos... about moving towards healthier habits in making videos 😆 but at least it's helping in the efforts of no buy for now
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I get what you are saying about producing videos. The mindset might be the same as with everything we over do. It’s hard, but we all just have to keep paying attention to catch ourselves.
I will admit my shopping problem has ebbed and flowed. I was able to restrict when I was buying my condo and focusing on paying off debt. However, after I loosened up my restrictions, I did find myself really struggling to stick to my budget for new clothes (my body changed so it was necessary). I also have allowed myself more treats such as manicures and pedicures but with that I do find myself wanting to go shopping for new clothes and shoes as well. A part of it is definitely related to some personal stress factors where I want to treat myself. I hope I can get a handle on it soon! Oh, and the sweats uniform is so relateable, that’s pretty much my day to day outfit as well 😂 and so is the cardboard box! I have cats so I usually have a box laying around somewhere LOL
I was off work at the start of my low buy as I was on maternity leave. When I went back and started wearing real clothes again (hahah) I definitely wanted more I was alot exposed to more even by the people I work with adverts ect which I hadn't seen much of at home with my baby. Also my body had changed since being in work pre pregnancy so everything just fit different. Was the hardest time to not buy loads! Managed to work through it though so good luck! Xx
Yes I'm perhaps most curious about the clothes I'll see on other people in real life - I realize that a couple of items that I "wishlisted" earlier and wanted perhaps MOST strongly, were things I'd actually seen on other people who looked really amazing in those styles. Going to try and remember that "feeling like you look amazing" is not something one can buy - we shall see how it goes!
Very introspective video, I enjoy your musings a lot. I think for me the point is that I want to appreciate my things because of what they do for me (keep me warm, look good, bring out my eyes, are comfy,...). I don't love them, but I feel good about owning them, as long as they serve their function (and yes, making you look great is a function). I very much wear the same 8 shorts on rotation to my work, and in the past wondered if my colleagues think I'm weird. But I couldn't tell you one thing about any of their clothes, or how they repeat the same clothes or outfits, so I guess they care about mine about the same. So I thought where I even got the notion that you shouldn't wear the same outfit too often, and it's just an internet thing I guess? Influencers live from presenting new things, new clothes, new outfits, new styles. It is literally their job to show us new stuff, that's how they make their living. It has nothing to do with the reality of most people's lives.
Yes, the internet has really changed a lot about product presentation! I think there is a small degree of having enough clothes - to not have to do laundry multiple times a week, but beyond that there's nothing wrong with repeating items or outfits, now I'm viewing that as "having a style signature" - so, a positive thing - and not something to "shop away" by acquiring more things!
Dear Alexa. Love your reflections -thanks for sharing. A question : Is it really right to consider your summer outfits as set apart from your 'style' as such? To me it seems that however we show up in the world IS our style. And your relaxed baby-friendly outfits seem to me consistent with the rest of your style and vibe? Just for another situation and context. I like it!
This is a good question! I think something in me wishes I would dress just a little more elevated at home, so I'm not sure if I feel the most "me", stylistically, in my current home outfits. But in a practical sense it is my current style, you're right about that. I'll be thinking about this more!
I was thinking that maybe not dressing and wearing downgraded clothes around the house is another reason I overconsume. I obviously want to look nice cause I’m buying all those clothes but if I keep wearing old clothes at home I don’t feel like I look nice hence I buy more “to look nice”. I definitely feel better when I put outfits together even for running errands or going for a walk with my toddler. I’m trying to figure out a way to be stylish even in the most mundane situation like working from home. I recently for the first time downgraded a pair a jeans to home wear and I feel good wearing them around the house.
Before having a baby, I would wear scrubs at work (vet nurse) and be covered in most bodily fluids you can think of. Now I have a 2 months old, I wear navy jeans and a cheap white top everyday, and still end up covered in fluids 😂. Then, working or not, in the late afternoon I change into pj. My nice clothes are very few and I can only wear them when there are no child or animal around (not often at this stage). At least I was lucky enough to bounce back to my pre pregnancy weight / size, so my nice clothes still fit when I can wear them.
I don’t know if you have talked about it specifically, but I’m curious what your thoughts are on the Diderot effect, in which buying something is a domino effect to buying more things. I too am covered in sweet potato and tomato sauce half the time. It’s a short season, they say… enjoy it while it lasts, they say! Cheers!
I've only mentioned it very briefly in a very early video, but it might merit another discussion soon. I've now come to think that as soon as we feel the Diderot effect, it could be a sign to STOP and NOT BUY...the idea being that at the very least we should live with the "nicer thing" for awhile to see if we really do need to complement it with other things, whether we need to in fact let go of some older things to let it shine, or whether we can reach the point of being okay with the "one nice new thing" being presented alongside "our old stuff". Or even, whether we should keep the thing that's making us want to buy more stuff, even if it was a recent acquisition! Because if this thing is demanding that we reconsider our whole life of things, is it really doing us that much good? 😅 But also - there isn't anything necessarily wrong with "elevating" if it serves us, I think doing so slowly and consciously and not "because" of or motivated by acquiring something... is the best way to know that it is in fact serving us and will be valuable to us long-term.
I just realized that I have completely opted out of the sweat pants/shirts "lounge wear" thing. I think there is too much of a flashback to high school gym days to even be able to look at those things. My casual at home uniform is black leggings and long cotton shirts/sweaters/tank tops (depending on the season). I don't think I have a pair of sweat pants that I actually wear during the day. Funny.
I've actually tried the leggings thing, but for whatever reason I have an aversion to tight-ankled bottoms for comfy-wear. I can wear them to workout in, but around the house, I guess I just don't want to wear tight bottoms (even if they're stretchy and don't actually feel "tight"). It seems to work for a lot of people though! I'll take the high-school gym flashback 😄
Let's face it the pendulum needs adjustment! For so long we ( women) denied ourselves but then we over did it in making up for that dearth! We need (imo) a reasonable level of control and reward! Yes we know that rewarding hard choices ( dentistry and auditions!!)seems like a sort of cop out but maybe this problem is not so prevalent? I do think that we sometimes deserve a treat! 🎁
I think we will always spend a little bit of time looking! After all we don't want to lose all knowledge of fashion! But its place in our consciousness has changed ( husband, kids, job, new house etc!!) So maybe there is a compromise wherein a few new things can be allowed ( sounds too mean!!) can be welcomed! But with less time spent and more care?
You could work out a guideline ahead of time, for how you want to handle the clothing challenges when you return to work. If you have a good idea of what is missing in your work wardrobe and make a point of keeping an eye out only for pieces that meet that need, you will avoid the stress of happenstance and mood purchases.
Mmmm i have many categories of clothes. Professional dry clean clothing that I LOVE in the winter, a 'style uniform' of men's button down and veronica beard jeans for work in summer which stand up to frequent easy washing, ranch work clothes, and athletic clothing. When i have kids i will probably wear the stack of free tshirts from college. Is what it is. I will be displeased by my constantly casual clothes while i have young kids. I think that is just a fact of life and is not an indicator of your style.
Thank you for pointing that out at the end, I think you're totally right that's a fact of life and not a reflection on MY style, even if it's a little frustrating to feel that I can't express my style day-to-day. I think that's why I fell into some "misguided loungewear" purchases during 2020, searching for "expression of style" in "homewear", seeing as I have some kind of preference for ultra-comfortable clothes at home (rather than wearing even my casual work clothes when I'm not going anywhere 😅)
My kids are 7 and 3, it does eventually get easier to dress how you might like, though that's where I started to go wrong haha, at least you're more aware of yourself going into the next stage. My kids love Pete the Cat and of course there's wisdom for us adults in those books. "Stuff will come and stuff will go. Do we cry? Goodness no, we just keep on singing our song. Groovy" so If something gets absolutely demolished...it's going to be okay! 😅 There will be others in our lives.
I dress like trash on workdays too. Usually leggings or lounge pants and either a hoodie or t or workout top. I WFH and live alone. If I go out during the week it’s to the gym. I only put in an effort on the few times I do go out into the world, usually weekends.
Our home uniform is so similar. My husband likes to blast the AC and I wear sweats and a sweatshirt. We also have a lot of animals so I don’t like to wear anything nice inside the house because I don’t like fur on my good clothes. I don’t even like fur on my nice sweatshirts.
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 85 | คู่เอก "ยอดเหล็กเพชร vs ผึ้งหลวง"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Qq_19bnnxEo/mqdefault.jpg)
When growing up we always had home clothes and would change into them as soon as we got home. Everybody I knew at that time did that. My parents still do it to this day. Obviously, that habit was driven by the scarcity of resources. But home clothes are also much more comfy and do mean a lot less stress. One does not need to do laundry quite as frequently, less ironing, hanging, folding, etc. I think this is another example of the negative impact of overconsumption.
I love that you put your hand bags back on those shelves. Why not have them on display and enjoy them even more than just one at a time when you use them? In my mind, this is the right way to fully value/enjoy the things you already own and love...have them where you can see them everyday. I do not see it as being hypocritical in any way to your overall message to be enjoying the things that you already own.
With regard to what in the past used to make me want to shop, it was usually when I was trying to avoid dealing with something in my life...avoiding a difficult decision, avoiding necessary self reflection, avoiding some undesirable but necessary task, etc. Cleaning and shopping were two of my "go to" avoidance mechanisms.
Ah, this is helpful, your "past reasons for shopping" are really striking a chord with me because it makes me realize that perhaps there are "difficult decisions" in the background even when I don't think there are...
Right now specifically there's the "maybe I should stop taking auditions, or take a break from that" decision at the back of my mind. Even if I already set out to do a few specific ones this Fall, it's possible that after the first couple I won't feel like doing the rest. And I could save a lot of money by not doing them if I really don't think it's a worthwhile pursuit. Thinking about it, I've always kind of had that decision on the back-burner for the past few years, definitely during my "shopping period" too, so it's likely that that looming decision (or lack of decision) has been a contributing factor...in addition to not "succeeding" as I shared earlier!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I can identify with your "looming" decision re: auditions.
With the caveat that my livelihood is not dependent on my sport, I guess the closest thing I have to an audition would be a competition. Earlier this year I decided to take the remainder of the year off from competition after going at it pretty hard for a few years. It was easy to get caught up in it without reflecting on whether it was really fulfilling the original purpose...which for me was always just motivation for self-improvement, getting feedback, and testing myself (as opposed to "winning" or attaining a certain year end rating which involves a lot of variables completely out of my control, like who else shows up that is better than me).
I don't know if you get valuable feedback from your auditions that may make them worthwhile, or maybe if they motivate you to improve certain aspects of your performance that makes them worthwhile, even if you don't land the position you are going for.
@@pamelapeterson2987 Unfortunately we don't often get direct feedback from the "judging panel", but it is still a game of "beating yourself" as far as giving a better performance than you did last time, or even just feeling like your playing more closely represented your true abilities rather than folding to nerves or lack of preparation or whatever it may be. And on the days where one does feel like they "played well", whether or not your "best show" is able to advance to the next round or possibly needs more refinement for next time.
And yes they certainly motivate me to practice like nothing else...it may be an expensive way to get that kind of motivation, but it works...and there's also always that tantalizing possibility that someday it will lead to a better job, so I just can't seem to quit right now!
The parents of young children should get a free pass to wear anything at all. Being clean and awake are major achievements. I used to work in childcare, and I’d go home covered in just about every substance that the body can produce (with obvious exceptions). It’s very sensible not to ruin your best clothes.
Hear, hear! 🫡
Being clean and awake! So true
I have two sons, six years and three weeks old, and I heartily applaud this comment 🙏 just what I needed to read today, thanks for that!
@amykatrina7542 CONGRATULATIONS!
@@amykatrina7542 congratulations! Xxx
I find that really interesting, the thing where people wear different clothes at home than out. I have never done that, i get up in the morning get dressed and then wear the clothes until i go to bed, no matter if i go out or dont. But my son does stay in his Pyjamas until he has to go out and if not all day, he mostly work from home and as soon as he gets home he is in his pj again. And that is what he likes because he started it the moment i was not responsibel for him Dressing anymore. I would feel miserabel but he loves it.
Yes, it is interesting! I think if I were to wear my outfits for both home and going out, my whole concept of style would be a bit more relaxed and prioritize comfort and easy movement, whereas for "work" I'm okay with more restrictive materials (denim, faux leather) in the name of presenting the "style" that I prefer, to people outside.
I still like these styles aesthetically, even if no one is going to see, but maybe it's not worth the sensation of wearing "less comfortable clothes" if people don't see.
My brother is the same way. I think it's a sensory thing. I also tend to dress very comfortably at home and I'll only dress up if I have things to do actively in the house or actively outside.
I live in sweatpants! I work from home and it’s the best option for comfort and getting cold easily. I don’t even have kids (I’m prone to stains anyway 😅) but I also feel strange about using my “outside” clothes while at home. I think that’s a habit that was drilled into me since childhood, we would always change into home clothes so that the nice outfits lasted longer. It might be one reason why I couldn’t justify a higher cost for nicer sweatshirts even though they are what would be considered a reasonable cost per wear item.
Although we love the "people at home" we expect them to love us as we are. The public, however, may need just a bit of coaxing to give us the benefit of the doubt
( although why we should care is another matter?)
I was just thinking about what you said about influencing to participate in “trends”. For example I dislike summer and I don’t get excited about buying or dressing a specific way. However when fall comes I’m a child in a candy store. I enjoy and have so much fun that’s when I may buy something. Fall is such an easy season for someone that loves to wear black. Doesn’t require much to look good and put together.
I agree! I do poorly with Summer clothes and love Autumn clothes!
I found that during my no-buy year I was really good at just not buying. At the time I thought, oh look at me growing as a person and battling the demon of shopping and wanting new things. Then the year ended and I was good for a little bit, but without having that strict "rule" I'd set of a no-buy year, things ended up derailing and all I thought I'd learned and changed about myself went out the window. Without those strict guidelines I had no structure and no concrete reason not to shop. It was gradual and I like to think I am a more conscious consumer, but to be honest I think I've just changed what I shop for. I'd love to see if you fare better than I did and through your journey maybe find ways for me to get back on track. I need to find a way to balance the dopamine of shopping when I don't have specific rules in place to adhere to.
I will certainly try! And perhaps I have the added incentive of "doing it publicly", which may or may not help you if the main reason I don't fall off the wagon is this level of public accountability.
However I have the feeling already that my "creative energy" is part of what I used to use in "shopping", and now I've truly found some kind of purpose in learning about the consumer environment of society, it's using all of that energy towards something else. I might try and set up "follow-up rules" for the "year after no buy", which is just another way to keep doing a kind of no-buy or low-buy I guess, with the rules etc. but I wonder if that IS a reasonable way to keep the balance or if you've tried that already, like having a budget or number of items that is your goal for the year/certain time period?
I think that once you really notice what triggers you and lowering your exposure and looking at what you already have with admiration!! that not shopping really will be easier?
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I've tried a variety of tactics, like you mentioned and all work to some degree but so far nothing has "stuck". It was gradual and the creep came back slowly. My reasons have changed and my parameters for what I look for or from where I will shop have evolved and yet, I still find myself getting sucked into buying more than I want/need. I look forward to seeing you do better, so I can find inspiration :)
Another great video. I think your instinct that we shop when we’re stressed and under time pressure, AND we shop when we are bored, is true for many of us. I have gone from a stressful, busy job to not working at all for the last 6 weeks. When I was working, I shopped because I felt I deserved it, I had earned it, and I was compensating for a lack of time to pursue things that made me happy. The first few weeks of not working, I felt like I might never buy any clothes again. But the last few days, I have felt the old pull of my favourite shops again, especially as the seasons change (and autumn is my favourite season of all for fashion). Sigh. At the end of the day, I think it comes from a feeling of lack, even if we’re not conscious of what it is we think we don’t have. And then we kid ourselves that if we just had more time we wouldn’t have to treat ourselves so much.
Yes there is ALWAYS going to be some reason to shop, and I'm realizing more and more that this idea doesn't only come from within ourselves or our own circumstances, but also the sirens of capitalism and pursuit of profits, where our supreme "value" comes from our ability to buy...in some way it kind of makes something simple (shopping, being able to say "yes or no" to buying something) so much more fraught with judgements and distractions and associations, drumming up this feeling of lack in society at large...
Sorry to get all dramatic there but that's where we're at today 🤣 thank you for sharing!
I work in an office 5 days a week in person and the dress code is very formal so whenever im not in work im in full slob mode and I refuse to feel bad for it! Im at home I should feel comfy in what im wearing ♡
For me it needed about three years after my last child to be able to get dressed normally everyday. I brought them to daycare in sweatpants as I worked from home then a lot (hello, Covid!). It’s just reasonable to wear these practical, easy to wash clothes. I also kept a few things I wasn’t sure about in these years. It’s a year now I actually try really to dress how I want to be seen again. Give yourself grace, it’s a special time with the little ones, also with clothes ❤
PS. I actually am buying some new things since then, but very considerate as I really got used to having a small wardrobe and also I don’t have time nor energy to research for lots of new clothes. I am better in not buying in phases of stress. It’s worth it to just wait a bit longer. With the kids growing constantly your wardrobe needs will change, too. Having less in general is a good way to find out what you need. For example I loved wearing long, wide legged cotton pants or long skirts to layer over a sweat pant or Leggins (or over not shaved legs) to look kind of dressed outside when they were toddlers. But as I ride the bike with them very often now I don’t anymore because they aren’t practical for that and at the same time aren’t dressy enough to go to occasions where I don’t ride my bike. I am very happy I only have two of the sweat pants and two of these very long skirts although I lived in them the last two years - this year I prefer different pants and comfortable, mid-length dresses and skirts or shorts, depending on temperature if I wear a pair of leggings underneath. But I added a pair of short Leggins to wear under skirts and dresses to be able to cycle short distances in them and to wait in front of my sons school without revealing my underwear (it’s very, very windy there 😅). Also we started a vegetable garden I needed waterproof, comfortable shoes for that could get dirty. So I purchased some. Being a parent is a journey. The next years will see a lot of changing needs.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sure there will be changing needs, but I also think I probably already have most of the things I need in my closet already - it'll be very interesting to see if (or when, I'm sure there will be some circumstance!) something really does come up where I don't already have something.
Maybe that's the next way to share in this journey when I'm "not on a no buy"...the challenge will be kind of continuing, but the spirit or intention of it might be different, with "not buying things" no longer being a restriction but rather a default condition for the experiment of "using what I have", if that make sense!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Yes, it totally makes sense
I saw a bit of mini me! How cute! When you get just a little bit conscious of runway you add some funny dance steps to leaven the seriousness! This glimpse into your absolutely perfect balance of life as important AND fun is so appealing! I bet your kids are delighted with the playful side!
haha yes - I do find that I can't take the runway - or life! - too seriously! 😁
I actually think increasing our attachment to the things we own is a good thing. Not in an "I love (my) stuff" way, but in a "this item means a lot to me because..." way. (Though "I like this item because I like it" is still a perfectly valid reason to be attached to something, it's only when we follow it up with thinking that we must therefore want/like anything remotely similar that it becomes a problem!)
Having a stronger attachment to a specific item makes us less likely to replace it, ignore it, forget about it, thoughtlessly get rid of it, etc.
It can make us slightly less likely to use it if we attach too much importance to it - like sentimental items we keep, but never use, for instance - but if our reason for having it is for its aesthetic value, that can still be a good thing, as indulging in that kind of appreciation once in a while can offer an alternative to the desire to indulge in the appreciation of new stuff (i.e.: shopping for the sake of looking at new things; their value is in their newness, whilst the value of the thing we already have lies in its value to us as an individual, which is a stronger motivator/reward - especially as its connection to us increases over time, whereas newness will only fade.)
Seeing other people with a strong attachment to their things, using them over & over, not being swayed to replace them, just because they're out of style, etc can also be a good counterpoint to constantly seeing people replace their things (though I appreciate that not everyone responds the same way, & some people will take it as an advert, given the culture we live in, & its online aspect especially).
Having a deeper, more personal attachment can help reinforce that this is what works "for me", & my specific circumstances, & why, in contrast to "this is the perfect universal product, everyone should buy it" messaging. This is helpful both in helping ourselves overcome that messaging, & can be a useful tool in showing other people a potential alternative to blindly following said messaging.
I guess it's the difference between having a concious attachment to things/individual items (knowing what we like & use, & Why), & an unconcious attachment to stuff in general (knowing that having things is rewarding, but not really knowing why or how).
@@elven_grandma3138 I agree wholeheartedly with this. Mending a much-loved old jumper is much better than buying a new one. It’s just a better attitude - not to treat things as fleeting and disposable, but to care about them and treat them accordingly.
Yes LOVE this, thank you so much for this comment.
I think I still feel both sides of it, where there is that huge benefit to being attached to things if it means we value and take care of them, and won't be swayed by the "shiny new options"...but still, something in me thinks that it would be "better" to be able to let go of that thing, even if we don't actually let it go, (if it's a material object) without too much of a struggle. Or rather to perhaps have fewer of the things in the "truly special" category where I'd feel sad to lose them.
It's easy to agree that the "unconscious attachment to stuff in general" is not the desired way, and maybe there are even more levels - conscious attachment where we use and appreciate and take care of our things, and then emotional attachment where we would feel disproportionately devastated to lose what is ultimately a material object, and I'm still working my way down from having too much emotional attachment to the level of conscious attachment, for some of my "things".
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Why is it "better" to be able to let things go, though? Yes, there is always the possibility that something may become lost or damaged, & most things do wear out eventually, but if you have no intention of replacing an item until it becomes physically necessary, I think being determined to keep it as long as possible makes us more likely to take extra care of it, to learn how to store, protect, mend or repair it. It can also mean we put a lot more time & thought into replacing it, since the form said replacement takes matters, whereas if we've already mentally let go of it, we're far more likely to move on with little to no extra thought.
Like you said, there's definitely tiers of attachment, & it's tricky, because, an "appropriate level of attachment" is extremely subjective, & varies from person to person (& item to item). So as much as we can talk & advise & listen to each other, in the end we do have to figure it out for ourselves.
It can be tempting to take the all or nothing approach (e.g: "having too much attachment to things is bad, so I shouldn't have anything in my life I'm not willing to lose") because its simple. But applying a single, overarching, rule isn't actually any more of a conscious approach than just buying things on a whim.
(Not that I think that's what you're doing - one of the reasons I love your content is just how much thought you put into everything, & that you keep thinking & talking about things over & over - just that it's a temptation we all fall into sometimes: humans love neat, actionable, solutions. Especially nowadays, when we're constantly being sold 5/10/25/30 of the best things/techniques/places, etc, for every time/place/occasion!)
You know, I guess you're right! I actually don't believe that the purpose of life is to avoid all pain (the pain of losing a loved object, for example) so maybe there isn't much of a benefit to "being detached from everything" or able to let them go. It might have been kind of a knee-jerk reaction I was having, to the "idea" of stoicism and avoiding "suffering" ...but I actually think that kind of "loss" can be romanticized or bittersweet, and add to the meaning of life rather than be something to totally miss out on or avoid, through the cultivation of no attachment to material things. I kind of touch on how I am uncomfortable with the idea of "don't have anything you're not willing to lose" in an upcoming video (this Saturday, I think!) about the "Minimalist Rules" and whether they work for me, so even before reflecting on your comments here there was something inside me that didn't quite agree that that approach was optimal...
Thank you so much for this conversation.
It is such an interesting predicament! Unsurprisingly, the time I tend to spend the most on clothes is when I'm attending the most to fashion at large and my own clothing. I find when I treat fashion as a hobby, it does lend itself more to overspending. Otherwise I'm just pleased I look good enough to work. But it's quite fun! But it gets me more interested in owning new to me things.
Part of me firmly believes the best way to do a no buy is to become preoccupied with other hobbies. But I quite enjoy this one 😅
“Generally dressed like trash”😂
Can’t stop laughing. This is wholesome content😂
Hehe thank you! 😜
Great thoughts! I found my style (similar to your daily mom outfit👍) became less influenced by outside sources after kids. I wanted to look nice when I went to work but I made huge changes. No more dry clean items, no more white (!), no more tight styles, or anything that was even slightly uncomfortable. Soft fabrics, breathable, easy care, and still cute became my style. Likewise on hair, makeup, no more fake nails, etc.
style is more like comfort than can pass for fancy 😆. ( I want to feel like I’m still wearing the sweats!)
Oh-edited to add-I like your purse display. We should all display our treasures and loved items. 🥰👍
Note the fact that the no buy has been easier since you have been free of desire.
That is important to note.
How did you find yourself free of desire for all of these stuff? How do you extend this condition and prolong it so that you will not be in that position of relentless desire and chase?
So interesting!
Yes! I hope to learn how to prolong the condition of freedom from desire! I think part of it right now is that my life became a bit "routine", where I wasn't exposed to much to desire for the past few months, and my "stress patterns" have been pretty much the same - no "new" stress in my life. My job just started again and I can already feel a little stress creeping back in with the commute and endless preparation that I have to do to keep up, and I will be curious to see if I still feel free from the "consumer cycle" of wanting new things!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I’ve been talking to my therapist about shopping lately. When I cut off shopping, my mind immediately seeks for something else to obsess about. It’s a pattern. I don’t know if you have noticed the same. In the end I feel like the overconsumption, the migrating to clean beauty, to “conscious” brands (which are usually very expensive), the overachieving, overdoing, it’s all the same. It’s a rats race. I listened to a Buddhist monk talk about this, and he said, when you see yourself falling into these patterns ask yourself, do you want to be in a race with a lot of rats? It’s just so true, specially when we talk about stuff. Like what the hell are we all doing with our lives obsessing over all of this stuff which bares absolutely NO meaning.
I still want stuff, I want makeup, clothes, I want to look a certain way, I want my skin to be this or that way. But in a way, I’m now looking at my mind creating all of these ideas and desires, while trying not to act on them, instead just sit here with my awful stay at home mom clothes and just doing my makeup with what I have. Right now I’m just trying to SEE the desire and not act on it. It’s hard but it’s definitely more relieving than obsessing over the desire and spending so much time of my life researching STUFF to buy.
@andreasamudio7272 this is incredible. Thank you for sharing. I have noticed that the habit of "creating on youtube" has become a kind of replacement for shopping for me, so there may be a period of working out some kind of sustainable relationship with that. Which is kind of ironic to probably eventually be posting videos... about moving towards healthier habits in making videos 😆 but at least it's helping in the efforts of no buy for now
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I get what you are saying about producing videos. The mindset might be the same as with everything we over do. It’s hard, but we all just have to keep paying attention to catch ourselves.
I will admit my shopping problem has ebbed and flowed. I was able to restrict when I was buying my condo and focusing on paying off debt. However, after I loosened up my restrictions, I did find myself really struggling to stick to my budget for new clothes (my body changed so it was necessary). I also have allowed myself more treats such as manicures and pedicures but with that I do find myself wanting to go shopping for new clothes and shoes as well. A part of it is definitely related to some personal stress factors where I want to treat myself. I hope I can get a handle on it soon! Oh, and the sweats uniform is so relateable, that’s pretty much my day to day outfit as well 😂 and so is the cardboard box! I have cats so I usually have a box laying around somewhere LOL
I was off work at the start of my low buy as I was on maternity leave. When I went back and started wearing real clothes again (hahah) I definitely wanted more I was alot exposed to more even by the people I work with adverts ect which I hadn't seen much of at home with my baby. Also my body had changed since being in work pre pregnancy so everything just fit different. Was the hardest time to not buy loads! Managed to work through it though so good luck! Xx
Yes I'm perhaps most curious about the clothes I'll see on other people in real life - I realize that a couple of items that I "wishlisted" earlier and wanted perhaps MOST strongly, were things I'd actually seen on other people who looked really amazing in those styles. Going to try and remember that "feeling like you look amazing" is not something one can buy - we shall see how it goes!
Very introspective video, I enjoy your musings a lot. I think for me the point is that I want to appreciate my things because of what they do for me (keep me warm, look good, bring out my eyes, are comfy,...). I don't love them, but I feel good about owning them, as long as they serve their function (and yes, making you look great is a function).
I very much wear the same 8 shorts on rotation to my work, and in the past wondered if my colleagues think I'm weird. But I couldn't tell you one thing about any of their clothes, or how they repeat the same clothes or outfits, so I guess they care about mine about the same.
So I thought where I even got the notion that you shouldn't wear the same outfit too often, and it's just an internet thing I guess? Influencers live from presenting new things, new clothes, new outfits, new styles. It is literally their job to show us new stuff, that's how they make their living. It has nothing to do with the reality of most people's lives.
Yes, the internet has really changed a lot about product presentation! I think there is a small degree of having enough clothes - to not have to do laundry multiple times a week, but beyond that there's nothing wrong with repeating items or outfits, now I'm viewing that as "having a style signature" - so, a positive thing - and not something to "shop away" by acquiring more things!
Dear Alexa. Love your reflections -thanks for sharing. A question : Is it really right to consider your summer outfits as set apart from your 'style' as such? To me it seems that however we show up in the world IS our style. And your relaxed baby-friendly outfits seem to me consistent with the rest of your style and vibe? Just for another situation and context. I like it!
This is a good question! I think something in me wishes I would dress just a little more elevated at home, so I'm not sure if I feel the most "me", stylistically, in my current home outfits. But in a practical sense it is my current style, you're right about that. I'll be thinking about this more!
I was thinking that maybe not dressing and wearing downgraded clothes around the house is another reason I overconsume. I obviously want to look nice cause I’m buying all those clothes but if I keep wearing old clothes at home I don’t feel like I look nice hence I buy more “to look nice”. I definitely feel better when I put outfits together even for running errands or going for a walk with my toddler. I’m trying to figure out a way to be stylish even in the most mundane situation like working from home. I recently for the first time downgraded a pair a jeans to home wear and I feel good wearing them around the house.
Love showcasing and displaying my stuff.
Before having a baby, I would wear scrubs at work (vet nurse) and be covered in most bodily fluids you can think of. Now I have a 2 months old, I wear navy jeans and a cheap white top everyday, and still end up covered in fluids 😂. Then, working or not, in the late afternoon I change into pj. My nice clothes are very few and I can only wear them when there are no child or animal around (not often at this stage). At least I was lucky enough to bounce back to my pre pregnancy weight / size, so my nice clothes still fit when I can wear them.
I don’t know if you have talked about it specifically, but I’m curious what your thoughts are on the Diderot effect, in which buying something is a domino effect to buying more things.
I too am covered in sweet potato and tomato sauce half the time. It’s a short season, they say… enjoy it while it lasts, they say! Cheers!
I've only mentioned it very briefly in a very early video, but it might merit another discussion soon.
I've now come to think that as soon as we feel the Diderot effect, it could be a sign to STOP and NOT BUY...the idea being that at the very least we should live with the "nicer thing" for awhile to see if we really do need to complement it with other things, whether we need to in fact let go of some older things to let it shine, or whether we can reach the point of being okay with the "one nice new thing" being presented alongside "our old stuff".
Or even, whether we should keep the thing that's making us want to buy more stuff, even if it was a recent acquisition! Because if this thing is demanding that we reconsider our whole life of things, is it really doing us that much good? 😅
But also - there isn't anything necessarily wrong with "elevating" if it serves us, I think doing so slowly and consciously and not "because" of or motivated by acquiring something... is the best way to know that it is in fact serving us and will be valuable to us long-term.
I just realized that I have completely opted out of the sweat pants/shirts "lounge wear" thing. I think there is too much of a flashback to high school gym days to even be able to look at those things. My casual at home uniform is black leggings and long cotton shirts/sweaters/tank tops (depending on the season). I don't think I have a pair of sweat pants that I actually wear during the day. Funny.
I've actually tried the leggings thing, but for whatever reason I have an aversion to tight-ankled bottoms for comfy-wear. I can wear them to workout in, but around the house, I guess I just don't want to wear tight bottoms (even if they're stretchy and don't actually feel "tight"). It seems to work for a lot of people though! I'll take the high-school gym flashback 😄
Let's face it the pendulum needs adjustment! For so long we ( women) denied ourselves but then we over did it in making up for that dearth! We need (imo) a reasonable level of control and reward! Yes we know that rewarding hard choices ( dentistry and auditions!!)seems like a sort of cop out but maybe this problem is not so prevalent? I do think that we sometimes deserve a treat! 🎁
I think we will always spend a little bit of time looking! After all we don't want to lose all knowledge of fashion! But its place in our consciousness has changed ( husband, kids, job, new house etc!!) So maybe there is a compromise wherein a few new things can be allowed ( sounds too mean!!) can be welcomed! But with less time spent and more care?
Yes! We'll see how I go after the "official no buy" - less time and more care is the goal!
Your home outfits are just like mine. 👍
You could work out a guideline ahead of time, for how you want to handle the clothing challenges when you return to work. If you have a good idea of what is missing in your work wardrobe and make a point of keeping an eye out only for pieces that meet that need, you will avoid the stress of happenstance and mood purchases.
Mmmm i have many categories of clothes. Professional dry clean clothing that I LOVE in the winter, a 'style uniform' of men's button down and veronica beard jeans for work in summer which stand up to frequent easy washing, ranch work clothes, and athletic clothing. When i have kids i will probably wear the stack of free tshirts from college. Is what it is. I will be displeased by my constantly casual clothes while i have young kids. I think that is just a fact of life and is not an indicator of your style.
Thank you for pointing that out at the end, I think you're totally right that's a fact of life and not a reflection on MY style, even if it's a little frustrating to feel that I can't express my style day-to-day.
I think that's why I fell into some "misguided loungewear" purchases during 2020, searching for "expression of style" in "homewear", seeing as I have some kind of preference for ultra-comfortable clothes at home (rather than wearing even my casual work clothes when I'm not going anywhere 😅)
My kids are 7 and 3, it does eventually get easier to dress how you might like, though that's where I started to go wrong haha, at least you're more aware of yourself going into the next stage. My kids love Pete the Cat and of course there's wisdom for us adults in those books. "Stuff will come and stuff will go. Do we cry? Goodness no, we just keep on singing our song. Groovy" so If something gets absolutely demolished...it's going to be okay! 😅 There will be others in our lives.
Haha oh yes, Pete's got some wisdom for sure!
I don't know i liked the bags. I mean they're already bought, so might as well enjoy what's there. And you seem to like them.
My uniform is a tank top and shorts. I mentioned on a previous video that i dont know my style. Maybe thats my style? Sigh.
Yes! That can be a valid style and if it works, there's no reason to be searching for something different 🥰
Casual utilitarian is what I call it!
I dress like trash on workdays too. Usually leggings or lounge pants and either a hoodie or t or workout top. I WFH and live alone. If I go out during the week it’s to the gym. I only put in an effort on the few times I do go out into the world, usually weekends.
Our home uniform is so similar. My husband likes to blast the AC and I wear sweats and a sweatshirt. We also have a lot of animals so I don’t like to wear anything nice inside the house because I don’t like fur on my good clothes. I don’t even like fur on my nice sweatshirts.
Same! The "nice" sweatshirts I save for "going out" or days when I know I won't get too messy 😂
Fellow person with a baby - at least your sweats r nice - mine are full of holes 😂
Hi Alexa and everyone!!
Hi, we all have expencive trash in closets. Tx life we Evolute and stop buyin.