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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 พ.ย. 2018
- Özlem Cekic's email inbox has been full of hate mail since 2007, when she won a seat in the Danish Parliament -- becoming the first female Muslim to do so. At first she just deleted the emails, dismissing them as the work of fanatics, until one day a friend made an unexpected suggestion: to reach out to the hate mail writers and invite them to meet for coffee. Hundreds of "dialogue coffee" meetings later, Cekic shares how face-to-face conversation can be one of the most powerful forces to disarm hate -- and challenges us all to engage with people we disagree with.
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Came here after watching Aida Azlin's recent video about Ozlem 💖
Yup 😉
Same here!!😂❤
Yep 😊
yeah...same here
Same here 🙋🏽♀️
Amen!
Allah akbar
All hail the flying sphaghetti monster
How much do you spend on buying thumbs ups on comments?
You...you are NOT the Christ. Please change that profile name.
oh boy, all this time I thought you were made up!
When we eat together it is easier to find what we have in common and make peace together ❤️
I fully agree with the main point. Be kind to people you disagree with and talk with them.
I'm from Brazil and this speech talk a lot about our political situation. Dialogue has become difficult here, because we are always judging the other without hearing what they have to say. Our democracy needs help.
Have you come up with any ideas for that? You could enlist other people's help if you had an idea about how that might work
Intelligence through the wisdom of the years. brilliant
She was a giant failure in the danish parlament, and now she is trying to give advice... So sad
My closest friend and I are polar opposites and we have directly contradicting views on most things, but we legit just agree to disagree and don't meditate on our differences. "You do you," she always says.
How does that even work if one party supports a world view that is just not right, like racism or bigotry? Assuming one of you has a view in that realm, please tell me how you do it. I used to perform a lot of public service work with a lady who was ultra religious, so right leaning I'm surprised she could walk upright, and was a blatant racist but we worked together for the common good, our community. Once I learned these things about her and after she tried to talk about religion with me, I told her we could get along just fine as long as politics and religion were not part of our conversations. It worked for some time but we did not have a personal relationship; it was strictly in the world of volunteerism. How do you do it?
debbieomi If I'm honest, I don't really know, and neither does she. I suppose it could be that, despite our differences, neither of us are extreme in our views. We haven't gotten around to delving into some deep debate on our views (though we'd like to in the future), but we can hear each other's perspectives and accept that our personal experiences are different, so we have different ideologies and values. And that's fine. I guess it's kind of a ying-yang thing where we manage to find balance despite everything saying we shouldn't. I have no clue why though.
Perhaps having that debate and delving too deep could destroy the balance. Who knows what the future holds?
@@yoyohan9 Thank you for your response.
For me, there are only a few lines I am not willing to cross for friendship; racism, bigotry, misandry and misogyny are among them. I would be fine with debate and discussion about all the rest. I've always said that I am an open minded person and I've even been known to change my mind about previous held beliefs. But, for those listed above and a few others, I have a hard time even talking to someone.
I wish you and your friend a very long and healthy friendship. :-)
debbieomi Thanks, love.
One thing, though. Are you saying you wouldn't be interested in understanding why someone would be like that? I suppose it's rare, but if you actually sit down and talk to some people, you might be able to shift, or at the very least understand, their perspective on things.
@@yoyohan9 Oh, no, I would engage some people to understand where they are coming from.
My dad was a racist for most of his life. For him, it was ignorance and fear of what he didn't know. He was a young adult in the Army before he saw a person of color for the first time. After serving, he came back home to a 99.9% white rural area and lived his life. It wasn't until three of four daughters moved to an urban area and had friends and boyfriends of all colors and ethnic backgrounds that things began to change within him. even after my sister gave birth to is first grandson, a biracial grandson, he continued to be a racist. Once he spent some time with us and our friends and he got to have face to face conversations with all manner of people, his views began to change. One day that will forever be in my memory is as we left a coffee shop where we had chatted with several of my friends, he told me "Ya know, those colored guys aren't half bad. They're just working stiffs like me trying to take care of their families." Using the words colored guys aside, I cried. There had been a break through. But, that was my Dad and until the day he died two years ago, he would still try to tell me a joke that would begin with something like, "There were these three guys, a colored man, etc etc..." I would always stop him and ask first, what color is he then I would ask if he would tell Micheal (his biracial grandson) this joke. Of course, that always shut him up. The racism never fully went away.
With some random person I met, I would be very interested in that conversation but I honestly don't know how much effort I would be able and willing to put into it. I would want to make them listen to how wrong they are and if they didn't change their ways, not want to spend time with them. I guess it would have to be on a case by case basis.
Phenomenal talk. Very inspiring to be a better person - something I continue to struggle with.
Aa recommended this and I honestly say that,this women has a beautiful mindset!❤️
This is amazing! Love this talk and the message.
Great perspective!
What an inspiring talk. Really made me rethink some of my interactions with people and rethink my own views. Appreciate it!
Yeah right .. fake account much lol
"Evil can only be defeated by kindness between people. Kindness demands courage". Dear friends, let's be courageous.
AWESOME Talk! Thank you Özlem Cekic
This is incredible !
We are not divided because we are so different, we are divided because powerful people who control the powerful institutions that shape our beliefs benefit from us being divided. But they're not as powerful as it seems. It’s the rare prejudice that can stand up to a one on one talk.
And don't forget to bring food.
Dennis Halterman you are so right.
I love the way you speak, its like read a fairy tale or something. Thank you so much, so inspiring.
This is quite inspiring, maybe I should take up her challenge, who knows what could happen.
AvgJane19 I agree, I think we have more in common with each other than many of us realize.
@@ClutchingPearlz not really
Yeah I took this challenge up and had coffee with a terrorist he said it was the bomb and that gave him motivation to keep himself alive and drink every day
6. Do it face to face, not on the internet.
Not everyone can afford an armed security detail like some members of parliament. 😂
@@stan4367 Well, it's not for everyone to do and to anyone.
arguing on the internet makes no difference indeed, because we hide behind anonymity and lose our norms and values we have as a person.
@@May-xs3pw How can you say that arguing on the internet makes no difference, while expecting me to take your statement seriously?
I personally learn a lot from other people on the internet. Arguing in the written word is arguably (no pun intended) better than arguing verbally in person because you have the time to think without the pressure of an awkward silence or worrying about sounding silly. This allows to formulate a more coherent point.
This does not mean debating in person is any less valuable. Just a different form of an argument.
@@stan4367 +1
Thank you Ozlem✅
That emerald pantsuit is on fleek. Do the kids still say that? Well, I want it .... And I'm male. It's 2018, I can do what I want.
hahaha good on you sir
yay
*Each day bring a new chance to do better nd be good*
_awesome video_
*_I would rather spill my coffee on hater's mail rather than doing it anyways_*
Man, this message really fits for the people i disagree with.
¡Hermoso! Muchas gracias por esta perla de sabiduría y madurez.
Thank you for this TED Talk! I needed to hear this!
Blessed are the Peace makers, for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are the ones who realize that there probably isn't any god.
Edgar Allan Poe Lol 😂
I thought it was "Blessed are the cheese makers" :-)
@@razalasreficul6902 Blessed are the ones who got the message in this TED talk
Benjamin Connor Amen!
Wow, absolutely mind blowing. So glad I watched this video.
Super
I've never understood racism.
Green Thunder ask the black Africans before them how they couldn't walk down the street without carrying a identification card during Apartheid.
@Dack Hacksaw Source?
Certain races seem to lack or surpass in certain abilities. This observation, causes beliefs founded by moments they experienced.
But those races when put in our conditions can cope like us. A smart individual thinker would understand maybe his 'racism' idea is flawed, as the black man was taught and learned like any of us.
Slowly, the idea died until culture changed. Except for a few who still believe the idea in some frame.
Dack Hacksaw - Love how you want to use the ONE example of white racism hahahahaha
One way to take it to the next level is to admit one's addiction to virtue-signaling.
WOO WEE I SURE DO LOVE TO VIRTUE SIGNAL. I VIRTUE SIGNAL SO HARD THAT I TELL PEOPLE HOW LITTLE I VIRTUE SIGNAL
I am also Very VERY smart
WOOO WEEEEEE
One of the best TED talks! Great!
yes
She is very strong woman!*
Wow proud to see a Turkish person finally ❤️
Nesli Khan She is Kurdish actually, said in in the beginning
N Y she said that she was born in turkey that’s why
She's more Danish than Turkish. I can tell by the accent :D
@@DirtyPoul She decides for herself what she identifies with, you can' t tell without asking her :D
@@May-xs3pw Pretty sure she'd say she identifies with both. But if you were to judge one or the other, you'd find that she has more in common with the country she grew up in and lived 90% of her life in than in the country she was born in. But obviously, she has some of both and probably identifies with both nationalities, and with good reason :)
My comment was more meant as a humourous jab at our atrocies accent. You can always spot a Dane by how they speak English. Danish pronunciation is quite unique.
I come aftr aa recomend
Meh too :)
Me too 😶
I think the idea is not for you to confront ideas, it is to come back another day for a cup of coffee and discuss about what you have in common..
*It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.*
And what's your dream ? :P
@@hugoproust3826 To have million subscribers. :)
@@ChessMasteryOfficial great dream xD
@@hugoproust3826 Thanks, I will! :)
There is a huge difference between judging someone for hating you, and judging you for being you. I disagree that you were being as judgemental or ignorant as the hate mail writers.
The talk is inspirational but you have to take safety precautions. While not every internet racist is a serial killer waiting to happen, it only takes one to ruin everything for you. Meeting in a public place would probably be much safer than going to their homes.
People who hate you are the best at saying the truth about you
Great video!
Kindess demands courage ♡
"I had been just as judgemental of those who had sent me hate mails, as they had been of me."
Yeah, but your judgement of them is based on a deliberate, racially motivated, hateful action taken specifically towards you, while their judgement of you is based on where you were born. I'd argue that's not really the same thing, or even in the same ballpark, regardless of whether you have things in common with those people or not.
Whell said its really clever
good job;)
Great talk!
#respect
I cant even be bothered having coffee with my friends
❤️❤️❤️
So inspiring 👍🏽💪🏽🤙🏾
ansiosa pela tradução em português para poder compartilhar aqui no Brasil
Maravilha
Gr8
I'm not demonizing anyone I am aware of at the moment, but I have done it in the moment many times, especially recently with my "demon", who I had painted a negative picture of mentally I still have trouble refusing, and it took me a long while to realize I was a demon in many ways, and that a lot of my recent view of him had just come from me being selective about what I remembered about him, and ignoring his more positive motions to me as they did not fit with my picture. Later on, with escalating conflicts, I realized that I had painted a much worse picture of myself to him, and had refused multiple efforts of him to cooperate with me, one of which costed him a big grade that had been entirely my fault.
Although I have never sat down and talked with him, we have at least learned to keep our distance, and don't cause each-other any more harm, but both of us are far from demons, and I feel that most "demons" are created from a lack of, ignorance of, or misinterpretation of information. While I may not consider anyone a demon at the moment, one or two people I know are purely demonic from what I know, I am yet to see proof that someone is a pure evil, and and consider it more than possible I never will, as while I have never seen someone with purely evil intentions, almost everyone has good intentions for the world and it's inhabitants, regardless of how much it might be bent by their past, and desires.
She is amazing
Thank you. I’ve been thinking about getting off Facebook (yet again) because of all the hate. I didn’t think I was strong enough to not let it effect me in such a negative way. I thought I couldn’t say how I felt, but had to “listen” to what others had to say. Maybe I feel the same way about them as they feel about others & me. Maybe I should invite them to coffee.
Every politicans should listen this, especially in Turkiye. Only when we understand her, we’ll have a right to mention about political turmoils solutions . We absolutely need politicans like her…
Wow. Just....wow. *applauds*
Conversation is the most difficult thing on a democracy.
How so?
Özlem! Keep up! You are doing good! We are a lot that would rather send love, than hate!
She accepts due to brainwash that little boys' penises are cut. Wrote a book for making people accepting this
Beautiful,,thank you for sharing, would enjoy a cup of coffee with you,
act locally think globally
You should always confront your detractors. Played minor league hockey for about six years and the first people I would go and talk to was skate near before a game with the people who would point and say the most disparaging things to me I getting real close to them and listen to everything they say and then take that motivation in the first chance I got I would end that guys night during a game
Beautiful!
In America, turning groups against each other is good for ratings and add revenue. The best I can do is make sure people have a pleasant or at least neutral little white guy interaction with me. It's pragmatic too, my area is gun happy, because making much of an occasional crime is good for ratings and revenue as well.
It's 27 November, 2018
22.00 IST
Thanks for that info 3 hours ago
The same gratitude is felt an hour later. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Remember random kid: there is no randomness
www.thelocal.dk/20180927/who-is-danish-ted-talk-star-zlem-cekic-and-why-are-we-talking-about-her
I think it is often fear of change and losing status/power that causes this hate. It is not specifically directed at any one nationality or culture, but at those who are "strange" and different, and want "what is ours." Even whites have been the target of hate from other whites. Just look at the Catholic, the Irish, the Mormon, the atheist. Then there's the older European religious wars. Gotta hate those Cathars, those Lutherans, those Papists. And more. But this aside, the process presented here can work. Ironically, Turks and Iranians have thought of themselves as Caucasian too if I remember right.
I agree completely. There are two root emotions, love and fear; all others come from those. When you fear what you don't understand, it allows hate to creep in. I'm sad that I've understood this and seen this within my own family but also, I've been lucky to see some of them come to understand, acknowledge, and overcome their fear and accept the differences in humans and our cultures as unique and sometimes beautiful. To be celebrated and not feared.
It happens if a large group of people move to another country/culture and then disrespects the natives in every way possible, while clinging on to their own culture, making parallel societies with their own laws and sets of rules. *That* is what causes these things. Logically.
💞💖💞I love this concept!💞💖💞
☕☕🍪🥧☕☕🕊☮💖🌞♾
E a legenda em língua portuguesa?
A woman speaker, speaking against hate speech and a high like to dislike ratio. Its almost like the downvoted women aren't being downvoted for opposing hate or being women. Maybe they just have bad ideas and this one doesn't.
She is so good at speaking, you can tell she did politics :')
in the first minute she said that she was in the Danish parliament
Very appropriate. I wish it had portuguese subtitles so that I could share it. People in Brazil today need to see this .
... listening to your constituents?
What a novel idea...
calling someone a terrorist(something she claimed was in one of her hate mails) is not constructive criticism, how is that "listening to your constituents?"
@@Moh-ib2zp somehow I doubt every email she received (that was in her words "hate mail") contained only the word terrorist.
I'm sure you understand that when people are upset they say things that are hateful, untrue to make the other person feel hurt, pain or emotions that they don't want to. Especially when they don't sense any empathy from you.
I'm sure you've argued with someone that you love and they have said things that evoked pain from you. Part of being an adult is to realize that they are in pain and to listen to their side to understand why.
I do understand that, also, part of being an adult is to remain in control of your emotions but we all lose it from time to time. It doesn't matter who you are, it happens.
That is the whole point of this TED talk, she found it productive to actually meet with people and discuss the issue at the heart of the emotion.
Every politician should feel the need to face the people that they have negatively impacted.
Wouldn't you agree?
This reads as being pretty hostile. Just to inform you, as I understand you do agree with the video and are not attempting to attack it.
@@siobhanhenry9094 soooo, I'm hostile yet I agree with her?
Oooooo K...
level Joe I was letting you know that It sounded hostile... no need to attack me...
Yeah, just like I always invite Jehowa witness to my home and I talk with them, even though I'm an atheist.
Wow nobody even cares enough to hate me. I really do suck
Can't get love, can't get hate, can't have anything can I
Bravo! Reminds of Gandhi's message ""Hate the sin and not the sinner" is a precept which, though easy enough to understand, is rarely practiced, and that is why the poison of hatred spreads in the world... Man and his deed are two distinct things. It is quite proper to resist and attack a system, but to resist and attack its author is tantamount to resisting and attacking one-self. For we are all tarred with the same brush and are children of one and the same Creator, and as such the divine powers within us are infinite. To slight a single human being is to slight those divine powers, and thus to harm not only that being, but with him, the whole world."...
Fun fact: Özlem had only been learning English for a few years, before she did this TED talk 🏅
Fun fact, English is compulsory in the Danish school education system and Özlem attended school from the age of 10 (She's 42 in this video) giving at least 6 years of English. She is a trained nurse so this would mean more years of English after compulsory education.
@@fritnat yes english is taught in school in DK, but Özlem was learning danish at the same time and therefore never learned english properly as her focus was on the danish language. She didnt know much english when she was invited to do the TED talk - but she learned it in the months up to when she had to give the talk.
@@aidasaraz1793 Özlem was quick enough to learn enough Danish to be an interpreter for her mother at the doctors etc. while she was still in school, so that was hardly any reason why she couldn't learn English just like all Danish kids of her age at the time. Again after school she went to college for three years where she also had English classes, followed by nursing college for several years where she would be expected to read textbooks in English and where entrance requirement includes a minimum proficiency in English.
You are being disingenuous in your attempt at glorifying her. She did not learn English in her forties, a few months before the TED talk after having been unable to focus on English lessons through 5 years of school and 3½ years of nursing college a couple of decades before.
👌🏼 I do the same!!!!!
I love her suit
🤔
I wish someone would write me hate mail, now
Burningwithecstasy give me your mail address
you're mailing me now. strike me down with your hate.
all your videos are boring because you're not in them
Why do you hate males?
xD
May be you both were not at the bus stop. But just ten yard a way?
This is a wonderful Ted talk.Really appreciate her kindness and proactivensss and bravery to talk to her haters.
Very inspiring idea, thank you for the video and hello from East Turkistan 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋😊😊😊😊 many many love 💙 💜 💙 💜 💙 💜
it's called self-service bias
Tedx talks are best
Like if you agree.
"Tedx talks are best"
Commented on a Ted tak, and not a Tedx event.
We already know to hit the upvote button if we agree with a comment- we aren't idiots that need to be reminded. Trying to get like this way is absolutely pathetic. Try making an interesting comment and not asking for likes next time. I'm downvoting for the like whoring.
@@OverdramaticAngel Teacher saying use your pencil, is that means she is idiot?
@@dhruvkrishna3648 Uh... yes. Yes that would mean she's an idiot. Edit: also, it's "does that mean she's an idiot" not "is that means she's an idiot."
@@OverdramaticAngel for that i am sorry, my mother tongue is hindi.
Is she building an army to exact revenge on bus drivers?
Hello, my name is Özlem. You have sent me so many hate emails you don't know me I don't know you I was wondering if we could come around and we can drink a coffee together and talk about it?
Hahahaha ikr.
I hope she doesn't have to have coffee with all the commenters here on TED's TH-cam channel.
I'm glad you had such a good overall experience, but it's never been like that for me. I'm fifty now. I'm done. I've given up. I'd rather be alone.
so guys, if you like her and wanna meet up, ya know what to do :P
jk please don't do that XD
Wow. Just wow. I have rarely seen such a good video. It is so, so easy to think 'yeah that guy should totally find his Ingolf'. No, I should find MY Ingolf. I should talk to MY Ingolf
A beautiful person, this woman.
hhhhh 😁 I better off share a cup of coffee with my wife first before she may kill me 🤣
No, no you weren't as judgemental of them as they were of you. You didn't hate them, didn't send them hate mail and threats. Assessing the character of someone that does those things is not judgemental- they showed who they were by doing what they did. You're an innocent party and I'm very sad you've been convinced you're on the same level they are, because you aren't.
@Dana Davison She was getting hate mail before she was even elected, so no. And that still wouldn't justify sending her hate mail and threats. She would be well within her rights to hate them right back after what they've done, well within her right to speak harshly of them in this talk, but she hasn't. That says a lot about the type of person she is- it's clear she's very compassionate and forgiving. People like that don't don't go around intentionally hurting others, they way they've intentionally tried to hurt and scare her. Their hatred of her came from the fact she's a certain race and religion, not from anything she actually did.
@@OverdramaticAngel Dana is right.
Heap fiery coals
*I don't like coffee lol*
Neither does she!
Your name doesn't look muslim, that's the only reason you aren't bombarded with hate messages in here as well. Which is really sad but its true look at every other ted talks video. The thumbnail, the title. Those 2 things determine whether someone comes here to spew hate at you.
you are victims of your own deeds
You are a brave lady ,truth i hate to see Muslim people in our country because of how i see Muslims treating others,Turkey i love as a country, we have made many trips there and i loved the people and your history at 83 years can your lecture change me ? i just don't know but at lease i am now thinking about it ,God keep you safe Paul.
I find you so fascinating and inspiring that I want to have coffee with and meet you in person so I’m sending you hate mail? Sorry
If she was so clueless and racist when she became a member of parliament, then how did she become a member of parliament, and why shouldn't people who could see that have been concerned.
If I remember correctly, I believe this was a journey for her and in that Journey she realized she had been a racist in some ways, as well. Why didn't people see her racism in Parliament? That is not a question I can answer. I had a group that I was prejudiced against when I was young because of the behavior I was exposed to. I had a smaller picture then and have a much bigger picture now. I don't condone the behavior, I just don't see that everybody in that group is the same
She was voted in by other Kurds.
if you did your research, you wold know that this was when she was 14-15 years old