Talking about my sexuality and past relationships Social Media Links: Instagram: / jammi.dodger Facebook: / jamiearaines Twitter: / jammi_dodger94 Email: jamieraines@hotmail.com Music: Bensound.com
This is actually me though! Not.. Shaaba lol.. but when I like a person I like them only. and not saying other people aren't like this too but i am... very much like this. and i actually have used this sentence too! i've literally said "i am [partner]sexual and [partner]romantic." like i only see my sexuality as that person
Proud of your honesty sweetpea!! And just to let you know, I'm a full blown Jamiesexual too (with a mighty strong preference for Jammidodgers, not just any Jamie) 😘😘
You guys are adorable! You give me a feeling of inspiration for my future. I am a 17 year old transgender male and I found your channel, Jamie, a bit after I came out out to my friends. Your videos have been a life saver for me. I know you probably get this a lot, but thank you for being on TH-cam. Keep doing what you are doing! You're the best!
Sexuality is so wishy/washy. For most people we are more fluid then we discuss, but there are definitely people who aren't fluid at all. It's basically all squiggles.
Prince Peaches I've always liked boys and girls but when I was younger it was wayyyyy more girls but now I rarely find myself attractive to girls but I've kinda accepted I'm always gonna see-saw between them lol Ik no one asked but it's so true
Maya McTacoz So, you've never find yourself attracted to someone then not attracted to them? Or find a guy/girl attractive? Even if they don't correspond with your identity? I'm gay, but I've fallen in love with one woman. And it was love. Sexuality is fluid. If you don't believe me look at the real science behind it. Anthropologists, biologists, sociologists, "sex" doctors, and many more. You can mock because you don't get it. It just makes you look like a douche.
Not mocking at all, but I would not say "sexuality is fluid" for everyone. Our perception of it, yes. Our ability to recognize it, sure. Our willingness to admit our true orientations, definitely. But the sexuality itself? Not for everyone. Saying it is a fixed matter for everyone is just as false as saying it is fluid for everyone, I think.
It's refreshing to hear someone talking about being genuinely confused about their sexuality instead of "I've known since I was five" cause like? It has not been an easy road for me with my sexuality. And seeing every coming out video being like "I've always known" is very discouraging.
I don't think it's fair to resent others because they happened to know sooner than you did. Believe me I was there too, it's unfortunate and it can feel bad. But it's not their fault. They can't control how we feel about their situation, not that we have any personal involvement anyway
Sexuality is a mess. It's really hard to differentiate what's attraction and what's not, especially if you're not comfortable exploring your feelings which some people aren't. I'm a cis girl and for a long time I felt really awkward about being attracted to girls, I wasn't like, outwardly homophobic but I didn't want to think of myself as not straight for some reason. At the moment I identify as bi but I don't really understand my attraction to men, I haven't felt like I want to pursue a relationship with a guy for years but I don't know how much that is to do with my past bad experiences and some close friends having bad experiences.
I say look for love first and the sexual attraction will follow. Or perhaps not. But regardless sexual attraction is not a must to a relationship and people shouldn’t be so busy about what sexual orientation they are. When you are attracted to someone you will know. When you fall in love with someone you will know. What ever sex that happens to be still doesn’t mean you will have a label for yourself and it really does not matter.
Well I think many can agree this was relatable. Thanks for being so open about this topic of labels you are helping so many of us better understand and feel less alone
I'm so glad to know that someone else has felt like this! I always had so much trouble being called a lesbian, not because it was something terrible to be, but because it just wasn't my truth. I wasn't a woman, and I wasn't only attracted to women. Ugh, it's just very validating.
Jammi, such an interesting video covering so many relevant sexual views, thank you. The phrase that attracted me most was "take time for yourself". I think that is key. The goal, I believe, is to find who we are and BE who we are. Thanks, man......Ray
I have recently found your channel and I love watching your videos. I'm a mother of 3 children, both my youngest and eldest have a transgender friend. My youngest is 13, and her friend has known he is transgender since before starting primary school. I love watching his classmates and him interact. All his classmates know he has "girl parts" but don't question the fact he is a boy. My eldest child has a friend who went through school male and is transitioning to female now that school is over. I have noticed she is having many more issues than my other child's friend. I think your videos would be helpful for parents and friends of classmates, well everyone actually. You speak so well, and make everything so easy to understand. Great job, I look forward to watching more of your videos.
I recently found the word androsexual which I like, because I'm more or less attracted to guys, and people use male pronouns for me, but I'm agender (afab) and saying I'm a gay guy just doesn't feel right.
I get what you are saying Jamie till I knew I was trans everything clicked about who I am but sexuality is hard to define . I am into both and now I am ok with that I am married to a great CIS guy I love and adore him . Before I was so uncomfortable with the thought of being lesbian but being a gay man I am ok with it .
I find this really interesting, as discovering my sexual/romantic orientation was always one of the simplest of self discoveries for me (it wasn't easy, but it's really simple to explain to myself and I know exactly how I feel about it), only the opposite can be said for my gender identity, and I'm finding it such a struggle at the moment to narrow down a satisfactory label or anything that would put my mind at rest...people's experiences with gender and sexuality are so vastly different it's kinda crazy XD
I'm asexual and bi. Gender unclear. It's a whole mess of back and forth, transmasculine, androgynous, mildly effeminate guy, tomboy, inbetween stuff. Today a kid called me sir and I was thrilled. Until the next sentence out of the kid's mouth was "would you like some holy water I stole from the church." That was weird XD but as far as relationships go, I don't ever want to be with anyone other than my current partner. Have only ever been in one relationship and it's the right one. I hit the jackpot on my first try
I'm also ace and biromantic! A transgender man, and indeed it is a mess even when you ARE sure of who you are. I'm happy for you for finding the one on the first try! I'm currently with someone that I'm 100% certain is the one and accepts all this weird sexuality and gender stuff. Took me two tries but I found them. I hope you remain happy with your loved one and that your identity finds somewhere that it's comfortable and healthy in!
Gwen Caradec I'm glad you were so lucky! I myself after 3 very bad relationships with men plus a horribly failed attempt at a one night stand decided to give up on cishet men and have tried to get myself in the dating game again but..... I'm too socially awkward.... The moment I'd have enough courage to go and talk to women or other people I find attractive I'm too drunk to function pfft. Feelings of self doubt and fear about getting rejected due to being nonbinary and bi/pan are quite efficient things to keep me from talking to people. I'm just glad that I have friends who are supportive of me being who I am. Also a friend who makes out with me, and she said she would have sex with me if her boyfriend just let her... (I know that may sound a bit weird but that's the situation. We have a friends with benefits kinda thing going on)
I really enjoyed this video because this is exactly how it is for me. It is nice looking back and knowing that I wasn't the only one that had those feelings with past relationships. I have been with my girlfriend for over 7 years now after coming out and meeting her shortly after and I honestly never want to be with anyone else. Thanks for sharing!!
As an Aro Ace person, I ressonated alot with some of the things you talked about, like discovering a concept or label that just suddenly explains so much of what you have been feeling about yourself - also the idea of attraction is something I think about alot in terms of being Ace, because I can definitely find people "attractive", or aesthetically pleasing, but I have never felt any desire to engage in romantic or sexual activities with them. I think for a long time that confused me as well, because I conflated liking the look of someone and liking them as a person, to having a crush on them. Also every movie, song, and TV show telling me that romantic/sexual relationships are the pinacle of human experience didn't help and probably made me force feelings that were never there.
thank you for talking about this topic too i had so much confusion with my sexuality and it actually ate me alive now i would say i am attracted to anyone regardless of their gender but i hate all those specific labels so i dont really label myself at all i am just mika . i went back and forth between being bi, lesbian then non binary trans gay straight bi again pan and now i am giving up on labels and i am being myself and thats it.
I RELATE I actually came solidly into the bi thing way before the trans thing but good god was the one relationship I had b4 realizing I'm trans way more uncomfortable than I had an explanation for at the time. glad that shit's over
I think saying your orientation is Shaaba was incredibly sweet! You guys are so cute together💜 I love watching all your videos and have since the beginning, but my fave ones are when you do videos together. She is a lucky girl! (And your a lucky guy because she is awesome)
I identify as a lesbian (although I like being called gay better lol) but that label still doesn't really fit right. I identified as bi for years and that didn't feel right either, and I'm DEFINITELY not straight because I feel almost no attraction to guys at all. And it's not my gender that's holding me back about these things because I definitely am a girl if a bit of an androgynous one (short hair flannel shirts etc). Idk man I just feel a lot more comfortable just being me :)
Anya I don't know for me the way the word lesbian is used it's “ I'm a lesbian ” and it seems like I'm using that to define myself because that just my sexuality not who I am
Does it ever strike you weird that it's typical to say "a lesbian" when other labels don't have an "a" prefacing it? Cause I'm a gay, and I'm a straight both sound weird as anything, and you definitely can't say "I'm a pan" XD
I'm Bi and 33. I don't think you are missing out on anything. In fact I think most people are missing out on something that you have. A partner that makes sense to you and makes you happy. I've had multiple partners, not many that provided that for me.
I've basically had the same experience as you for sexuality lol. I'm fine with the label straight, and I'm pretty sure I do like guys as well, but I'm not comfortable with my body enough to explore that, and I'm more comfortable with women anyways. Staright or queer are adequate descriptors of my sexuality. Good vid and hopefully the sun can make up it's mind next time lol
I've always known from a young age that I wasn't straight but I thought that was how everyone felt lol. My first kiss was with a girl but I didn't talk about it but later on I kissed a guy and said that he was my first kiss. Earlier this year, before my school started, I thought I was bi but it turns out that I'm pan. I'm still discovering more about myself everyday. What I know about myself (and hopefully thats it) is that I'm trans, pansexual, ace, androgynous, and polysexual. I know, it's a mouthful lol. Thank you Jamie for making these videos because you helped me to learn to love myself for who I am
I think quite a common experience with being trans (at least mine and other people I’ve talked to) is that the gender identity crisis and being trans is such a massive issue that finding your specific sexuality just seems like not an issue. I mean, I think I’m gay, but I think dysphoria could be playing into how I feel about that stuff so I’m not sure yet, and I’m alright with that!
I have absolutely no idea what my sexuality is but I'm sure I'm ftm. I think part of this is because I'm not comfortable with my own body so the idea of having a relationship with anyone is ridiculously difficult. Ultimately I've decided that once I get to a place where Im comfortable with my body my sexuality will sort of fall into place on its own. At the moment the closest sexuality I can identify with is asexuality because I've never really experienced solid sexual attraction but again I think this is because of my body dysphoria that puts a block in the way.
this is so interesting to me cus i'm a cis straight dude who might be a bit bi or omnisexual, but jammidodger is basically like my brain but born in a female body and I can't imagine what its like to feel like a gender I'm not
"My sexual orientation is Shaaba" I get this. My sexual orientation is my spouse. I am a non-binary pan person. (Ignore my YT name need to change it) I didn't become open about my sexuality or gender to myself or anyone else until a few years ago. I have only dated one person and I married that person. He accepts me for me and I have no interest in exploring my sexuality because my whole heart and mind is for him. When I told some friends I was pan they were like yeah but your sexuality is married. I am very happy with this. And is nice to hear I am not the only sappy romantic about it.
You make such an important point straight, homosexual or transgender, to have a satisfying sexual life we must first be in a good relationship with ourselves.
You and Shaaba are adorable. :) Sexuality, though, is definitely more fluid than what we're taught as societal norms, you know? As someone else said, it's super wishy/washy. Not so cut and dry. Your experiences with relationships prior to coming out as trans are pretty consistent with mine, too, though I'll be honest and say being in a relationship with women overall was more comfortable than being in a relationship with men. Looking back, I most certainly had an attraction to and feelings for at least the few people I had serious relationships with, but the relationship I had with the one long-term boyfriend I had ended because I was so uncomfortable with myself and my body for reasons I didn't understand at all at the time. I also felt more comfortable with the label "gay" than "lesbian;" not because there's anything wrong with the label "lesbian," it just never felt good on me. I'm still not entirely sure why relationships with women didn't bother me nearly as much as those with men, but I feel as though it was a combination between how my partner perceived me and how I perceived myself and my gender expression within the context of a relationship (if that makes sense?). The major difference between my experience and yours, as well, is how I perceive my gender in general-- and that has never been as cut and dry to me, as it was for you. Even now that I am on hormones and medically transitioning, I identify as trans masculine and gender queer, not _wholly_ male. Mostly dude, some parts ??? but not at all female. So, in a relationship with women, I could comfortably fit myself in that little "??? gender??" niche and be ok-- it wasn't perfect, but my discomfort wasn't as impossible to move past. It was impossible with any of the guys I dated.
You see, I feel... Something, towards other people. Of all types. But, I don't ever want to kiss or say I'm in a relationship. I'm not sure if this is me being pansexual aromantic, or aro-ace, or asexual panromantic, or something else entirely. So for now, I'm sticking to no lable, no relationships, just gonna live on my own in a tiny apartment with a child and/or dog. Dunno anything else. Bye.
Sexuality is very fluid. I have gone from straight-ish to bi, then gay, then bi again, then back to gay. And being gay seems to be what makes me happy. If only I could find someone else to make happy with me.
You being uncomfortable being a lesbian reminds me of my uncomfortableness of calling myself bisexual previous to realizing I'm a biromantic asexual. It just felt wrong to me, and I couldn't figure out why.
I was outed as bi to my mother and she made a few comments about me joining the "greedy twat band-wagon". Was equally as horrible when I was outed as trans. But she claims she can't be homophobic or transphobic because she's from Brighton *shrug* She didn't even call me by my preferred name until 3 years after and that was because I ran away to live with my boyfriend
I'm also a Trans guy, I'm ace/bisexual and it took me a while to figure that out. I haven't been in a relationship because I do not pass and I'd rather wait until I can fully identify as a male to date rather than jump into it now.
I had exactly the same feeling about the lesbian label. Even at 14 when I first realized I was also attracted to girls (ultimately, was bi then still bi now) and didn't know I was FTM, that particular label just felt wrong. Couldn't have a natural relationship with a girl as a girl when I wasn't a girl!
my experience with sexuality is very much similar but on the opposite end. i also didn't have as much of an issue with my gender identity as i did with my sexual orientation. while i am a gender non-conforming trans guy (i.e not completely masculine but not completely feminine either, i use they/them alongside he/him) i am more attracted to men then women. however what was confusing about it for me for the longest time is that i am attracted more so by appearance rather than physical sex. i have had crushes on cis men, trans men, and tomboys/butch lesbians. oddly enough, I've only recently realized that this makes me bi and not gay like i had originally thought.
My gender and romantic preferences seem like such a mess at the moment. I'm hoping it's going to fall into place soon, because some days I'm incredibly 'feminine', some days I'm incredibly 'masculine', some days romance is completely out of my head, some days its all I want. I'm confident in the fact that I'm pansexual because the term 'bisexual' never felt quite right and 'pansexual' clicked the moment I saw the definition of it. Since I was little I've gone by a gender neutral name in my head only (sounds ridiculous, I know...) and I desperately want to change my name.
God, sexuality as trans but before knowing you are trans can be rough. I was always confused because I knew I had attractions to men but the idea of me as male with a guy was... discomforting? Less issue with women, but yet I still never felt comfortable with it. Like the gay or bi male labels just... I knew fundamentally weren't right. All I really knew was I wasn't entirely straight. Now, since coming out and dealing with being trans I have figured out where the hang up was, and it was the me part of the equation rather than the gender(s) I was attracted to. (I now proudly and without hesitation or doubt identify as Pan.)
I also hated being perceived as female in a relationship, even the dominant female, it still made me uncomfortable. It turned out (after years of consideration) I’ve been a man.
I'm 14, I have short hair and dress masculine so I'm usually assumed to be a boy, I like people using he/him pronouns but I don't want to grow up as a female OR male OR gender neutral. Honestly it's not important at this point and I'm just being Alix
Weirdly, I'm the complete opposite. Like when you found out being trans was a thing, when I found out pansexuality was a thing, I knew that's what I was. However, the whole gender thing is taking a lot more thinking and is very difficult for me to figure out. I want to experiment with like different pronouns and/or names, but I don't want my friends and family to think I'm weird, cuz I'm pretty sure some of them are transphobic. I wish people would be more accepting of other genders and transitioning between them. It'd make life so much easier.
When you said "my sexual orientation is Shaaba" I actually said aaw!" That's so sweet.
I did too!!
This is actually me though! Not.. Shaaba lol.. but when I like a person I like them only. and not saying other people aren't like this too but i am... very much like this. and i actually have used this sentence too! i've literally said "i am [partner]sexual and [partner]romantic." like i only see my sexuality as that person
I want someone to talk about me the way Jamie talks about Shaaba. You guys have an awesome relationship.
Corylus Bluefox - same
i know. it makes me so jealous
Proud of your honesty sweetpea!! And just to let you know, I'm a full blown Jamiesexual too (with a mighty strong preference for Jammidodgers, not just any Jamie) 😘😘
Shaaba. 😘
You guys are adorable! You give me a feeling of inspiration for my future. I am a 17 year old transgender male and I found your channel, Jamie, a bit after I came out out to my friends. Your videos have been a life saver for me. I know you probably get this a lot, but thank you for being on TH-cam. Keep doing what you are doing! You're the best!
Shaaba. Hehehe... yessssssssss
Shaaba. Awww I ship it :)
This is the cutesssssst
"My sexual orientation is Shaaba." :):) that's how simple it can be!
Is anyone else really happy and proud of Jamie always being really open with us
Me
Sexuality is so wishy/washy. For most people we are more fluid then we discuss, but there are definitely people who aren't fluid at all. It's basically all squiggles.
Prince Peaches I've always liked boys and girls but when I was younger it was wayyyyy more girls but now I rarely find myself attractive to girls but I've kinda accepted I'm always gonna see-saw between them lol Ik no one asked but it's so true
Prince Peaches person: what do you identify as?
Me: I'ma squiggle
Person:
Me:
Maya McTacoz So, you've never find yourself attracted to someone then not attracted to them? Or find a guy/girl attractive? Even if they don't correspond with your identity? I'm gay, but I've fallen in love with one woman. And it was love. Sexuality is fluid. If you don't believe me look at the real science behind it. Anthropologists, biologists, sociologists, "sex" doctors, and many more. You can mock because you don't get it. It just makes you look like a douche.
Not mocking at all, but I would not say "sexuality is fluid" for everyone. Our perception of it, yes. Our ability to recognize it, sure. Our willingness to admit our true orientations, definitely. But the sexuality itself? Not for everyone. Saying it is a fixed matter for everyone is just as false as saying it is fluid for everyone, I think.
Rhys Guillerme That's why I said for most people.
It's refreshing to hear someone talking about being genuinely confused about their sexuality instead of "I've known since I was five" cause like? It has not been an easy road for me with my sexuality. And seeing every coming out video being like "I've always known" is very discouraging.
same
It took me 7 years to be 100% certain, but then looking back it makes a lot of sense from my younger years, so maybe that’s what people mean?
I don't think it's fair to resent others because they happened to know sooner than you did. Believe me I was there too, it's unfortunate and it can feel bad. But it's not their fault. They can't control how we feel about their situation, not that we have any personal involvement anyway
@@r0ckmom where did I say I resented anyone?
CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW EXTRA HANDSOME JAMIE LOOKS TODAY
ok but - "my sexual orientation is shaaba" literally kill me thats too cute awwwww
so you're Shaabasexual
GMitch I think you right
It's amazing you're so confident that you can talk about all these things
"My sexuality is [name of current partner]" is the purest way to describe ones sexuality I think.
This. This this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. Thank you.
Sexuality is a mess. It's really hard to differentiate what's attraction and what's not, especially if you're not comfortable exploring your feelings which some people aren't. I'm a cis girl and for a long time I felt really awkward about being attracted to girls, I wasn't like, outwardly homophobic but I didn't want to think of myself as not straight for some reason. At the moment I identify as bi but I don't really understand my attraction to men, I haven't felt like I want to pursue a relationship with a guy for years but I don't know how much that is to do with my past bad experiences and some close friends having bad experiences.
I say look for love first and the sexual attraction will follow. Or perhaps not. But regardless sexual attraction is not a must to a relationship and people shouldn’t be so busy about what sexual orientation they are. When you are attracted to someone you will know. When you fall in love with someone you will know. What ever sex that happens to be still doesn’t mean you will have a label for yourself and it really does not matter.
'Scuse me, but I'm in love with your hair it looks so fluffy :o
Everyone should have a partner like Jamie so loving and caring
You are so adorable talking about your girlfriend you are so adorable and lucky
"My sexuality is Shaba" you guys are adorable! Crack me up. :)
worried about the battery because i forgot the spare battery because im an idiot [gradual zoom in on dog]
ruski blyat is that your cat
The way your face lights up when you talk about Shaaba is the most adorable thing ever omg. 😍😍😍
Well I think many can agree this was relatable. Thanks for being so open about this topic of labels you are helping so many of us better understand and feel less alone
"My sexual orientation is Shaaba" I love that so much. ❤️
I'm so glad to know that someone else has felt like this! I always had so much trouble being called a lesbian, not because it was something terrible to be, but because it just wasn't my truth. I wasn't a woman, and I wasn't only attracted to women. Ugh, it's just very validating.
Rowan Smith ...hey absolutely same here...
Jammi, such an interesting video covering so many relevant sexual views, thank you. The phrase that attracted me most was "take time for yourself". I think that is key. The goal, I believe, is to find who we are and BE who we are. Thanks, man......Ray
I have recently found your channel and I love watching your videos. I'm a mother of 3 children, both my youngest and eldest have a transgender friend. My youngest is 13, and her friend has known he is transgender since before starting primary school. I love watching his classmates and him interact. All his classmates know he has "girl parts" but don't question the fact he is a boy. My eldest child has a friend who went through school male and is transitioning to female now that school is over. I have noticed she is having many more issues than my other child's friend. I think your videos would be helpful for parents and friends of classmates, well everyone actually. You speak so well, and make everything so easy to understand. Great job, I look forward to watching more of your videos.
I'm currently in the "taking time for myself" phase. Aka, waiting for the hormones.
I recently found the word androsexual which I like, because I'm more or less attracted to guys, and people use male pronouns for me, but I'm agender (afab) and saying I'm a gay guy just doesn't feel right.
"my sexual orientation is shaaba" okay, that's fucking cute.
I feel like everyone's answer to what your sexuality is (if you're with someone) should be "I'm [insert partner(s) name here] sexual".
I get what you are saying Jamie till I knew I was trans everything clicked about who I am but sexuality is hard to define . I am into both and now I am ok with that I am married to a great CIS guy I love and adore him . Before I was so uncomfortable with the thought of being lesbian but being a gay man I am ok with it .
I find this really interesting, as discovering my sexual/romantic orientation was always one of the simplest of self discoveries for me (it wasn't easy, but it's really simple to explain to myself and I know exactly how I feel about it), only the opposite can be said for my gender identity, and I'm finding it such a struggle at the moment to narrow down a satisfactory label or anything that would put my mind at rest...people's experiences with gender and sexuality are so vastly different it's kinda crazy XD
I'm asexual and bi. Gender unclear. It's a whole mess of back and forth, transmasculine, androgynous, mildly effeminate guy, tomboy, inbetween stuff. Today a kid called me sir and I was thrilled. Until the next sentence out of the kid's mouth was "would you like some holy water I stole from the church." That was weird XD but as far as relationships go, I don't ever want to be with anyone other than my current partner. Have only ever been in one relationship and it's the right one. I hit the jackpot on my first try
I would have accepted the Holy Water. I have a lot of Vampires to slay.
I'm also ace and biromantic! A transgender man, and indeed it is a mess even when you ARE sure of who you are. I'm happy for you for finding the one on the first try! I'm currently with someone that I'm 100% certain is the one and accepts all this weird sexuality and gender stuff. Took me two tries but I found them. I hope you remain happy with your loved one and that your identity finds somewhere that it's comfortable and healthy in!
Gwen Caradec I'm glad you were so lucky! I myself after 3 very bad relationships with men plus a horribly failed attempt at a one night stand decided to give up on cishet men and have tried to get myself in the dating game again but..... I'm too socially awkward.... The moment I'd have enough courage to go and talk to women or other people I find attractive I'm too drunk to function pfft. Feelings of self doubt and fear about getting rejected due to being nonbinary and bi/pan are quite efficient things to keep me from talking to people. I'm just glad that I have friends who are supportive of me being who I am. Also a friend who makes out with me, and she said she would have sex with me if her boyfriend just let her... (I know that may sound a bit weird but that's the situation. We have a friends with benefits kinda thing going on)
There really should be a matching or dating site for people who have things like severe anxiety and, or, other social phobias.
I'm also on the ace spectum but my gender is a mystery still
I really enjoyed this video because this is exactly how it is for me. It is nice looking back and knowing that I wasn't the only one that had those feelings with past relationships.
I have been with my girlfriend for over 7 years now after coming out and meeting her shortly after and I honestly never want to be with anyone else.
Thanks for sharing!!
As an Aro Ace person, I ressonated alot with some of the things you talked about, like discovering a concept or label that just suddenly explains so much of what you have been feeling about yourself - also the idea of attraction is something I think about alot in terms of being Ace, because I can definitely find people "attractive", or aesthetically pleasing, but I have never felt any desire to engage in romantic or sexual activities with them.
I think for a long time that confused me as well, because I conflated liking the look of someone and liking them as a person, to having a crush on them. Also every movie, song, and TV show telling me that romantic/sexual relationships are the pinacle of human experience didn't help and probably made me force feelings that were never there.
thank you for talking about this topic too i had so much confusion with my sexuality and it actually ate me alive now i would say i am attracted to anyone regardless of their gender but i hate all those specific labels so i dont really label myself at all i am just mika . i went back and forth between being bi, lesbian then non binary trans gay straight bi again pan and now i am giving up on labels and i am being myself and thats it.
I'm still struggling with both my sexuality and gender.. these videos are quite helpful. 💜
If you're struggling with sexuality, you're doing it wrong... ;) x
You look like David Tennant.
I
RELATE
I actually came solidly into the bi thing way before the trans thing but good god was the one relationship I had b4 realizing I'm trans way more uncomfortable than I had an explanation for at the time.
glad that shit's over
Jamie and shaaba are relationship goals
I think saying your orientation is Shaaba was incredibly sweet! You guys are so cute together💜 I love watching all your videos and have since the beginning, but my fave ones are when you do videos together. She is a lucky girl! (And your a lucky guy because she is awesome)
I identify as a lesbian (although I like being called gay better lol) but that label still doesn't really fit right. I identified as bi for years and that didn't feel right either, and I'm DEFINITELY not straight because I feel almost no attraction to guys at all. And it's not my gender that's holding me back about these things because I definitely am a girl if a bit of an androgynous one (short hair flannel shirts etc). Idk man I just feel a lot more comfortable just being me :)
Anya! u can use as many labels u want if ya so desire!! th-cam.com/video/G0fW4a-Hr-Q/w-d-xo.html
I like to be call gay too!
Idk it just feels right
Anya I don't know for me the way the word lesbian is used it's “ I'm a lesbian ” and it seems like I'm using that to define myself because that just my sexuality not who I am
Does it ever strike you weird that it's typical to say "a lesbian" when other labels don't have an "a" prefacing it? Cause I'm a gay, and I'm a straight both sound weird as anything, and you definitely can't say "I'm a pan" XD
I'm Bi and 33. I don't think you are missing out on anything. In fact I think most people are missing out on something that you have. A partner that makes sense to you and makes you happy. I've had multiple partners, not many that provided that for me.
When the moustache is perfectly place to suit the dog 😂
I've basically had the same experience as you for sexuality lol. I'm fine with the label straight, and I'm pretty sure I do like guys as well, but I'm not comfortable with my body enough to explore that, and I'm more comfortable with women anyways. Staright or queer are adequate descriptors of my sexuality.
Good vid and hopefully the sun can make up it's mind next time lol
Unrelated but did I just spot you and Shaaba in an advert for the It Starts With Me campaign? :D It was at the start of Chase Ross's new video :)
So on the TH-cam page it said “2 years ago” and then I clicked it and it said “3 years ago” and I clicked it at the exact moment it turned 3 years.
That’s cool :)
I've always known from a young age that I wasn't straight but I thought that was how everyone felt lol. My first kiss was with a girl but I didn't talk about it but later on I kissed a guy and said that he was my first kiss. Earlier this year, before my school started, I thought I was bi but it turns out that I'm pan. I'm still discovering more about myself everyday. What I know about myself (and hopefully thats it) is that I'm trans, pansexual, ace, androgynous, and polysexual. I know, it's a mouthful lol. Thank you Jamie for making these videos because you helped me to learn to love myself for who I am
Always brilliantly informative videos - thanks again!
"My sexuality is Shaaba." !!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw!!!
I think quite a common experience with being trans (at least mine and other people I’ve talked to) is that the gender identity crisis and being trans is such a massive issue that finding your specific sexuality just seems like not an issue. I mean, I think I’m gay, but I think dysphoria could be playing into how I feel about that stuff so I’m not sure yet, and I’m alright with that!
I have absolutely no idea what my sexuality is but I'm sure I'm ftm. I think part of this is because I'm not comfortable with my own body so the idea of having a relationship with anyone is ridiculously difficult. Ultimately I've decided that once I get to a place where Im comfortable with my body my sexuality will sort of fall into place on its own. At the moment the closest sexuality I can identify with is asexuality because I've never really experienced solid sexual attraction but again I think this is because of my body dysphoria that puts a block in the way.
this is so interesting to me cus i'm a cis straight dude who might be a bit bi or omnisexual, but jammidodger is basically like my brain but born in a female body and I can't imagine what its like to feel like a gender I'm not
loving the rainbow flag in the background
You and Shaaba are such goals tbh
"My sexual orientation is Shaaba"
I get this. My sexual orientation is my spouse.
I am a non-binary pan person. (Ignore my YT name need to change it) I didn't become open about my sexuality or gender to myself or anyone else until a few years ago. I have only dated one person and I married that person. He accepts me for me and I have no interest in exploring my sexuality because my whole heart and mind is for him. When I told some friends I was pan they were like yeah but your sexuality is married. I am very happy with this. And is nice to hear I am not the only sappy romantic about it.
Honestly this made me think of my loves orientation when he explained it sometime after coming out as trans to me
You make such an important point straight, homosexual or transgender, to have a satisfying sexual life we must first be in a good relationship with ourselves.
You and Shaaba are adorable. :) Sexuality, though, is definitely more fluid than what we're taught as societal norms, you know? As someone else said, it's super wishy/washy. Not so cut and dry. Your experiences with relationships prior to coming out as trans are pretty consistent with mine, too, though I'll be honest and say being in a relationship with women overall was more comfortable than being in a relationship with men. Looking back, I most certainly had an attraction to and feelings for at least the few people I had serious relationships with, but the relationship I had with the one long-term boyfriend I had ended because I was so uncomfortable with myself and my body for reasons I didn't understand at all at the time. I also felt more comfortable with the label "gay" than "lesbian;" not because there's anything wrong with the label "lesbian," it just never felt good on me.
I'm still not entirely sure why relationships with women didn't bother me nearly as much as those with men, but I feel as though it was a combination between how my partner perceived me and how I perceived myself and my gender expression within the context of a relationship (if that makes sense?). The major difference between my experience and yours, as well, is how I perceive my gender in general-- and that has never been as cut and dry to me, as it was for you. Even now that I am on hormones and medically transitioning, I identify as trans masculine and gender queer, not _wholly_ male. Mostly dude, some parts ??? but not at all female. So, in a relationship with women, I could comfortably fit myself in that little "??? gender??" niche and be ok-- it wasn't perfect, but my discomfort wasn't as impossible to move past. It was impossible with any of the guys I dated.
Love the explanation, and I don't want to take away from it, but smooshy little cone of shame down there had me slightly distracted lol.
You see, I feel... Something, towards other people. Of all types. But, I don't ever want to kiss or say I'm in a relationship. I'm not sure if this is me being pansexual aromantic, or aro-ace, or asexual panromantic, or something else entirely. So for now, I'm sticking to no lable, no relationships, just gonna live on my own in a tiny apartment with a child and/or dog. Dunno anything else. Bye.
I see a mustache on the dog since I'm watching full screen on my phone
NOTIF squadd
"my sexual orientation is Shaaba" is one of the cutest things you've ever said
This is so cute.
So cute ^_^ I love all your videos but this one really resonated with some experiences I’ve had and ended on such a high note. Perfect x
'my sexual orientation is Shaaba' adorable!!!
Sexuality is very fluid. I have gone from straight-ish to bi, then gay, then bi again, then back to gay. And being gay seems to be what makes me happy. If only I could find someone else to make happy with me.
You being uncomfortable being a lesbian reminds me of my uncomfortableness of calling myself bisexual previous to realizing I'm a biromantic asexual. It just felt wrong to me, and I couldn't figure out why.
"My sexual orientation is Shaaba" That is actually the most adorable fucking thing ever and I love you guys ahhhhhh.
I was outed as bi to my mother and she made a few comments about me joining the "greedy twat band-wagon". Was equally as horrible when I was outed as trans. But she claims she can't be homophobic or transphobic because she's from Brighton *shrug*
She didn't even call me by my preferred name until 3 years after and that was because I ran away to live with my boyfriend
this is an archaeologist coming from the bi Jamie era
Im ftm trans, asexual and panromantic
Wow I'm exactly the same cool
me too!!
So am I! :-)
What are we the exact same person???
I'm also a Trans guy, I'm ace/bisexual and it took me a while to figure that out. I haven't been in a relationship because I do not pass and I'd rather wait until I can fully identify as a male to date rather than jump into it now.
I had exactly the same feeling about the lesbian label. Even at 14 when I first realized I was also attracted to girls (ultimately, was bi then still bi now) and didn't know I was FTM, that particular label just felt wrong. Couldn't have a natural relationship with a girl as a girl when I wasn't a girl!
I'm a gay trans boy but over the years I've identified as every letter on the LGBTQ+ acronym
I relate soo much
Thankyou for making this video!!
my experience with sexuality is very much similar but on the opposite end. i also didn't have as much of an issue with my gender identity as i did with my sexual orientation. while i am a gender non-conforming trans guy (i.e not completely masculine but not completely feminine either, i use they/them alongside he/him) i am more attracted to men then women. however what was confusing about it for me for the longest time is that i am attracted more so by appearance rather than physical sex. i have had crushes on cis men, trans men, and tomboys/butch lesbians. oddly enough, I've only recently realized that this makes me bi and not gay like i had originally thought.
"My sexual orientation is Shaaba." AAAAWHHHHHHHh
I know 100% what my sexuality is. I'm biromantic asexual. My problem is gender, I like agender or gender neutral the best but neither fit quite right.
shaabasexual
I kept thinking that the scene was going to fade to black for some reason but it was the lighting lol
I IDENTIFY AS KIM POSSIBLE
My gender and romantic preferences seem like such a mess at the moment. I'm hoping it's going to fall into place soon, because some days I'm incredibly 'feminine', some days I'm incredibly 'masculine', some days romance is completely out of my head, some days its all I want. I'm confident in the fact that I'm pansexual because the term 'bisexual' never felt quite right and 'pansexual' clicked the moment I saw the definition of it. Since I was little I've gone by a gender neutral name in my head only (sounds ridiculous, I know...) and I desperately want to change my name.
And moreover my head hurts like hell trying to find an answer...and a way out of the situation....
God, sexuality as trans but before knowing you are trans can be rough. I was always confused because I knew I had attractions to men but the idea of me as male with a guy was... discomforting? Less issue with women, but yet I still never felt comfortable with it. Like the gay or bi male labels just... I knew fundamentally weren't right. All I really knew was I wasn't entirely straight. Now, since coming out and dealing with being trans I have figured out where the hang up was, and it was the me part of the equation rather than the gender(s) I was attracted to. (I now proudly and without hesitation or doubt identify as Pan.)
I also hated being perceived as female in a relationship, even the dominant female, it still made me uncomfortable. It turned out (after years of consideration) I’ve been a man.
I'm 14, I have short hair and dress masculine so I'm usually assumed to be a boy, I like people using he/him pronouns but I don't want to grow up as a female OR male OR gender neutral. Honestly it's not important at this point and I'm just being Alix
heck yeah
Gosh, I admire you so much. I hope one day to have the honor to meet you
I'm 15 and I've never had a boyfriend since birth and Jamie had his first boyfriend at the age of 14!! WHAT?!
You are so handsome. Sorry, had to say it, love watching your videos.
I'm grey-bi-romantic/asexual
Hello, your the best
Weirdly, I'm the complete opposite. Like when you found out being trans was a thing, when I found out pansexuality was a thing, I knew that's what I was. However, the whole gender thing is taking a lot more thinking and is very difficult for me to figure out. I want to experiment with like different pronouns and/or names, but I don't want my friends and family to think I'm weird, cuz I'm pretty sure some of them are transphobic. I wish people would be more accepting of other genders and transitioning between them. It'd make life so much easier.
are the mustaches in the bottom right corner casually fitting the dog like a weird Nintendo DSi filter or they have a purpose?😂
hes so sweet and wonderfull
you're shaabasexual!! ~so sorry~
Aviv Gendelman lol what _____sexual? XD
Pratyush Verma shaaba, she's his girlfriend :)
Aviv Gendelman Ohh... thanks for letting me know :)
Could you please do a video about how to ask a girl to a middle school dance FTM addition?
GOOD FOR YOU
Omg you two are so cute together.
English weather is so great at making up its mind.