AITA for asking for an early inheritance

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ม.ค. 2024
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ความคิดเห็น • 297

  • @RksAskR
    @RksAskR  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2434

    🚨 Like and Subscribe 🚨
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    (editing and recording on this channel was personally done by me)
    REST OF STORY
    Over Christmas the in-laws just wouldn't drop it. I finally snapped. I said that if they wanted grandchildren then they could reimburse us for her education. They could further pay her the salary she would be giving up. When she returned to work they could pay her the difference between what she could be earning and her entry level position. They could pay for a nanny so my wife could work.
    Or they could back off and wait for us to be ready.
    They said that they couldn't afford all that. I asked them how they expected us to afford it. I said that if it was really what they wanted they could just give her the inheritance that would be coming her way now instead of later.
    They got all offended and said that is not hers until they don't need it any more.
    Diana asked me to drop it. She has tried dozens of times to explain to her parents why we are waiting. They just ignore her. They ignore what we want for our lives.
    They have been very cold since Christmas. They seem to think I was a rude asshole for pointing out the costs of what they are asking for. A lot of her family agree with them that I went too far in asking them to pay if they want a grandchild now instead of later.
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    • @carolperczak4253
      @carolperczak4253 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +167

      NTA. In-laws, the bane of happy marriages.

    • @namelessbrat7197
      @namelessbrat7197 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +88

      Love the fact that you always add the rest of the story in the comments. You're my fav channel because of it! Thank you for going the extra mile

    • @Floofstoof
      @Floofstoof 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +67

      Bro nta it costs a lot for kids especially in America plus as a boy I respect that birth probably hurts like heck and will take time to warm up to before actually giving birth. And that’s honestly not a ah move but the in-laws however, no that’s freaking rude and disrespectful just to tell them to do that. Just cuz they want some kids

    • @randomcreations7
      @randomcreations7 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

      They ignore what you want, just ignore them right back 😊

    • @thekatinator1926
      @thekatinator1926 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      I think he was fine until he brought up inheritance. He made his point, but inheritance is a touchy subject and I can see it coming across as entitled.

  • @alicerosetrevormusic
    @alicerosetrevormusic 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4390

    He wasn't actually asking them to pay for everything, just trying to get them to understand how much they were asking for from their daughter and to respect what she had already told them

  • @Princess_Maya_19
    @Princess_Maya_19 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3448

    You sometimes have to be the “bad guy” and stand up to your spouses family if they can’t do it. I think OP is completely in the right. No one should be begging for grandchildren in this economy 😂

    • @lizzyisbored9882
      @lizzyisbored9882 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +199

      No one should be begging for grandchildren period. You're not the one raising the kid and you are asking someone else (who most likely want bio kids) to unwilling risk their life and body for pregnancy.

    • @starlette7820
      @starlette7820 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +108

      @@lizzyisbored9882 Yeah honestly the grandparents just want the experience of parenthood again without 90% of the responsibilities that their own kids are going to have to shoulder instead. It's a purely selfish thing to demand of your kids.

    • @Princess_Maya_19
      @Princess_Maya_19 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

      @@lizzyisbored9882 lol obviously no one should be begging for grandchildren that part was just a little joke. But also the economy is particularly bad even those who want kids now really can’t afford them unless they have an unemployed family member that can watch the child while both parents work.

    • @ginathecookie
      @ginathecookie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Agreed

    • @Derpylel
      @Derpylel 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      500th like

  • @chimoshishifu407
    @chimoshishifu407 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +948

    My mother started asking for grandkids when I was 16yrs. Why? Because all of her friends were becoming grandparents. I had to say “Yeah, but they also had kids directly outta high school. You waited until you were 33yrs to have me. I have 2 godchildren right now, you can claim they’re mine.”

    • @lizzyisbored9882
      @lizzyisbored9882 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +251

      Asking children to make babies. 🤢

    • @sarawhite9338
      @sarawhite9338 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +76

      That's a new one. Having a kid that young is super hard. My best friend, through middle & high school, got pregnant by accident at 15 & had her baby girl at 16yo. Her divorced parents were shocked. I didn't see her dad's reaction, but I'm sure it wasn't good. He could be an a-hole. My parents were supportive & my mom helped me throw her a baby shower & we had them over regularly. My friend then became a grandma at 36 & seems happy now at 43 with multiple grandkids & had 4 daughters total. Meanwhile, I'm glad my parents never pressured me to get married & or have kids. They know my friend had it hard & I've always been on the fence about kids anyway. I've always been super careful not to get pregnant, partly because of my friend & partly knowing I was adopted from birth because my bio mom got pregnant in college with me & they (bio mom & dad) weren't ready to be parents. I've recently found out more of the story (theough Ancestry dna testing) & it backs up what I've always been told: I was unplanned & they weren't ready because they were in college & immature & new info: that my bio mom's parents freaked out when they found out about me & forced her to give me up. They were very Catholic. It was for the best. I grew up with great parents who were 30 (mom) & 32 (dad) & they were ready to adopt a 2nd baby (my older brother is adopted too). They couldn't have bio kids. He has 2 kids with 2 different moms, so my parents were/ are happy with that. My mom passed away in 2011. Dad remarried twice since then. #3 is really nice & good to him & has her own kids & ex-husband that she's on good terms with. I doubt my guy & I will actually get married at this point & I'm glad no one is pressuring us, too. We have our own reasons & neither of us want kids. We're happy with our 4 cats & just being together. I'm glad my dad accepts that. No one else's opinion matters (both my guy's parents have passed & so have all our grandparents, except a bio grandma I just found out about).

    • @boilol5515
      @boilol5515 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@sarawhite9338 that's a pretty big family, and it was nice to have supported a friend, I'm sure she is grateful for the love and support! May you all have a wonderful day/ Year! 🙏🙏🙏

    • @zlizlx
      @zlizlx 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@lizzyisbored9882 most countries 16 year olds arent children

    • @lizzyisbored9882
      @lizzyisbored9882 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@zlizlx and most countries see women as 2nd class citizens. So that's a bad argument. 🤢

  • @starlight4urheart
    @starlight4urheart 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1099

    At least OP has a damn heavy set of balls on him. GOOD EFFORT op!!

  • @silvesan9162
    @silvesan9162 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +579

    Ex still pressures our son, 31, to have kids...and my son an DIL, do NOT want kids. (I have no contact with ex.) My son, ever since middle school, declared no kids. Ex feels entitled to at least 1 granddaughter and 1 grandson. During dinner, just DIL, son, me, my son expressed frustration that ex keeps bringing it up even after months of them not responding to comments/texts/emails/etc as they addressed this 7 years ago and I taught my kids with the "asked and answered then drop it" strategy. Anyway, I joked that ex should get mail-order spouse and reproduce...just maybe that would put and end to the nagging. Several weeks later, when they were at dinner with ex, ex brought it up, son asked ex to stop, ex began getting angry and raised voice and went on a rant about it (did I mention they were in acrestaurant?), so DIL took out a list of 10 suggestions, number 1 being mail-order option, asked server for check (manager and server had just returned to table because of rant), and son & DIL, who had not said a word during the rant) got up, said "good bye" and left. They called me, explained what happened, and he said he's never been so proud of themselves. I am so proud, too!

    • @arriannaniv
      @arriannaniv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      That’s wild and I’m proud he stood up against him. I can see part of why he’s your ex…

    • @ceeford9919
      @ceeford9919 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      NTA.🙂

    • @autumnleaves4879
      @autumnleaves4879 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Um... parenting book? Pretty please?
      I love my Ex and we have a great dynamic but I sure want to raise my child to be this cool

    • @Merilly
      @Merilly 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It's good that you're supporting their decision. Not everyone's happiness lies in children and that's totally fine. It doesn't even need to be due to financial reasons or wanting to wait but simply not wanting children.
      I personally also don't want children and while my family grew to support my decision, it's always hard to hear demands for children and claims that people just need to find the right person. Which is ridiculous. Even the right person won't necessarily make a child more appealing because the child isn't their partner and unpredictable how they will turn out. Apart from the fact that children aren't accessories, not for their parents nor anyone else, and require lotaof sacrifices, dedication and responsibility for decades. Because you never stop being a parent. In the worst case, the child might even have health problems, either right away or down the road which will require even more of everything.
      Not everyone finds happiness in that. I have utmost respect for those that do and who are great parents to their children and in-laws to their partners. But prioritizing their happiness is part of that and it's great that you seem to value that more than having grandchildren at any cost. While society is slowly changing to be more accepting toward people remaining child-free, it's unfortunately still a thing that some family members feel entitled to make that decision for others by demanding someone to have children who never wanted any. It's why having your support will likely mean all the more to them.

  • @jubileus4597
    @jubileus4597 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +125

    I hate it when family members pressure you to have children. I have this cousin who already has a seven-year-old daughter with her husband. The three are happy together and my cousin isn’t ready or doesn’t want another kid. However, her aunts and uncles constantly tell my cousin and her husband things like, “when can we see a son?” or “are you going to aim for a boy next?” They clearly look uncomfortable when people ask them those sorts of questions. It’s so frustrating! Those same aunts and uncles aren’t going to help my cousin and her husband with any new children (at least financially) so why are they asking for one so much?

  • @figmo397
    @figmo397 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +154

    NTA. Parents of young married couples sometimes order up grandchildren the same way you'd order up a pizza. I went through the same thing with my parents, who kept insisting we HAD to produce a grandkid. "But who's going to PAY for the kid?"
    My father replied, "YOU are!"
    I replied, "We're not ready to have kids, and quite frankly, we can't AFFORD them right now."
    Your in-laws are going to just keep nagging. The best thing you can do is tell them "When we're ready, we'll have kids." If they persist (which they probably will...sigh), you can say, "We're not ready. If we have kids, we wouldn't be able to do what we want to do with our lives right now." It's true, right?

    • @risitascositas1699
      @risitascositas1699 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Those phrases invite check-ins to ask for update. For those who keep asking after being told not to I'd say: "The condition of my uterus is none of your business. Stop asking about it; it's rude & disrespectful; I know your mother raised you with better manners. Any future comments related to having children will be ignored."
      I'm also not above cussing repeat offenders out as that's the only way some finally understand you are not playing and they need to stop.

    • @the1nf3r10rone
      @the1nf3r10rone 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@risitascositas1699fair

    • @ashlinday4469
      @ashlinday4469 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That invites the in-laws to call them selfish for putting your own wants over what they perceive as their “needs” so it is best to tell them, if we have a child right now we are giving them up for you to raise

  • @Azurmarill
    @Azurmarill 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +491

    NAH. You can't pressure someone into having children for you. I would've told them if they wanted a little one, they can make one themselves. Also their daughter should definitely be reimbursed for her efforts.
    Edit:Ty for the likes! Yea I was tired when I wrote this, sorry for the confusion I definitely meant NTA

    • @sammielove9072
      @sammielove9072 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      I read that as NAH. Instead of not the a hole 🤣🤣

    • @osheridan
      @osheridan 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      NTA not Nah 🤓

    • @gachatubergirl181
      @gachatubergirl181 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      ​NAH would be "no one's the ahole" but some people use it for not a hole too ✋😭

    • @alexeirichards416
      @alexeirichards416 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ​@@sammielove9072nta is not the asshole. Nah is no asshole here, which would have meant neither the op or parents would have been assholes. Should have said nta for this case

  • @so.kki_
    @so.kki_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    The op sounds like a perfect guy to be married to

  • @EroticInferno
    @EroticInferno 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Sometimes I think the only reason some people have children was to have grandchildren

  • @SexyJutsuLover
    @SexyJutsuLover 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    NTA. Kids are expensive, from conception to graduation. Period. If they don't have the money, and you don't have the money, there's no money for it.

  • @yonz4099
    @yonz4099 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    I understand that they want a grandchild and having kids when you are old is risky health wise, but kids should come to people who want to have them.

  • @catmorg
    @catmorg 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Having children is a huge responsibility. If you want them, they are the greatest blessing. If you don't want them, then that's your choice! Don't feel bad about it. My oldest was born with hearing loss and required a lot of medical attention. As a new mother struggling with a newborn and going through PPD, it was a lot! But if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change anything. My oldest is thriving!!!

  • @Tralvan
    @Tralvan 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    IDK, not only NTA, but the request is actually pretty reasonable, hell I think it shouldn't even be nesseccary to voice that as a request and they should just do it on their own.
    You know what my parents (specifically my mom) got as a wedding gift from their parents/my grandparents?
    A house
    A goddamn house (roughly $150K att, which is basically over $600K today).
    My grandparens arent rich, and they basically put all their life savings safe for some retiremend emergency funds into that house.
    My grandparents saved for that since my Mom was a child, college is free in my country if you have the nesseccary grades to be admitted, so instead of a "college fund" that some parents in the USA set up for their children, my grandparents set up a "house fund" they've been paying into for literally decades waiting for the day my parents wanted to settle down and start a family.
    I plan to do the same If I ever become a parent.
    Starting out in life is pretty hard, especially in todays economy, so it'll probably take until their mid 30's until someone is finally "financially secure" enough to have a family if they're only working on their own without help.
    So if you want a bunch of grandkids and actually want to see them grow up, giving your kids their "inheritance" early is the sensible thing to do.

  • @shauntaethomas139
    @shauntaethomas139 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    NTA..ur deliverance of what needed to be said might’ve been rude but apparently that was the only way that y’all were going to be heard. So well done 👍🏽

  • @nataliemoraes2033
    @nataliemoraes2033 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    Nta. They want her to have kids well kids are expensive.

  • @Suited_Nat
    @Suited_Nat 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    NTA. In-laws need to stop that stupid type of pressuring.

  • @austinrooks1787
    @austinrooks1787 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I’d just tell those people to drop it or they’d never get any grandkids ever

  • @ivanhall6482
    @ivanhall6482 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +98

    I read this story yesterday - ahhh gotta love crazy inlaws

  • @QueenWendyLu
    @QueenWendyLu 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    My mil tried this too. I told her “ When and IF we have kids is none of your business.” We we’re having trouble getting pregnant. We didn’t mention it to anyone because it was heartbreaking. My mil was an RN. We had two daughters. Mil wanted boys. “ I told her, I wanted a decent mil. But here we are.”

  • @marygilbert6105
    @marygilbert6105 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I see a lot of comments here with people dealing with pressure to produce a son/grandson. I will share my father's responses to this. When he had two little girls, and people asked if he was concerned about "carrying on the family name", he pointed out that as we had an extremely common last name, it was in no danger of dying out. When he had three beautiful little granddaughters, and people asked if he was anxious to have a grandson, he smiled smugly and announced, "We specialize in girls!" He was a wonderful dad and grandad.
    My daughter has told me "all you're getting is grand-cats". Ash is the cutest, smartest, and furriest little grand-cat anyone could want, and i am thrilled to have him!

  • @damicequeen
    @damicequeen 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    If you cant wait for grandkids then you dont see them when your born. I already gave my parents fair warning from 6th grade that i was not being pressured for kids.

  • @laurentucker7471
    @laurentucker7471 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    We stan a man who supports his wife's personal and professional ambitions.

  • @rosalynelippington
    @rosalynelippington 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    NTA. It was harsh but shame on them for forcing something on their daughter.

  • @rhylerember
    @rhylerember 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    GO HUBBY GO!!!!!!!!

  • @AngelINTheMatrix
    @AngelINTheMatrix 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Absolutely not the badguy

  • @inigocraft2446
    @inigocraft2446 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Best Reddit story TH-camr thanks for posting the rest of the story

  • @maskedYoutube7551
    @maskedYoutube7551 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    NTA when they want a baby is their choice, not the parent's

  • @Richiepocket
    @Richiepocket 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Man is absolutely right!!! When people force me to mave children I ask money from them.

  • @ZombieLeo94
    @ZombieLeo94 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    It's simple
    You want a baby, you pay for it
    Otherwise dont make demands 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @TraciPeteyforlife
    @TraciPeteyforlife 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Not the A hole. In laws got way too ducking pushy. Not cool.

  • @_KrystalAlexis
    @_KrystalAlexis 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Parents aren’t entitled to grand kids

  • @SuperStarr817
    @SuperStarr817 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    NTA overall. Is it a little far, maybe? I do think it was necessarey to point out what they're asking for and standing up for your guys' wishes, but drop it after that. No one should be pressured into having a child, period, and it should've been left there without insisting early inheritance.

    • @raffa4456
      @raffa4456 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      They weren't insisting on inheritance, they were showing the in laws what she would miss out on. Basically explaining the math and that money has to come from somewhere. People back then paid nothing for groceries, comparatively little for education and got to buy a whole house for 150k well in their twenties. It's not working like that anymore and if THEY want grandchildren, they should make sure their own child doesn't have to bankrupt themselves. And although in my opinion that's completely true, they didnt say that's what they wanted to happen. The child still wants a career, and the spouse wanted the parents to leave her alone.

  • @Erlrantandrage
    @Erlrantandrage 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Old people, give it up! Young people can't afford kids, they can't afford houses, they can't afford cars. This couple is exceptionally WELL OFF for their age bracket, they are not the norm. Most couples in their early 30s are not living comfortably on one income. The fact that the older generations still EXPECT grandkids is unrealistic, unreasonable, and frankly creepy. Pressuring people to have sex.. so gross.

  • @EmelyPhan
    @EmelyPhan 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +90

    PhD at 28 she must be one of the top students (or the top) in her class.

    • @LatinaGaming88
      @LatinaGaming88 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      28 is completely normal for a PhD if not slow

    • @raffa4456
      @raffa4456 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@LatinaGaming88 It is definitely not slow. Must not know that much about how reserach and university hierarchies work... PhDs often take years and years to complete because professors let you do their work so they can publish more and you barely get around to do your own work. Besides, 25 is a pretty normal age to finish your masters, so 3 years would actually be considered pretty fast and even if they finished their masters at 24, it would not be slow at all. people be talking when they got no idea about the subject...

    • @niunia27272727
      @niunia27272727 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Yeah, definitely not slow. Mine took 5 years in total (finished at 31) because my prof said "I am deciding when you can finish, not you", so there's that. She still had a student that has been there for 8 years already at that point and not finished 😅

    • @the1nf3r10rone
      @the1nf3r10rone 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ⁠@@niunia27272727o nah, justice for that student

    • @suet.r.4815
      @suet.r.4815 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      They should be proud of her!

  • @kaylamorgan9157
    @kaylamorgan9157 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Glad the husband is sticking up for his wife

  • @mkg2124
    @mkg2124 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    NTA. Pestering your child to give you grandkids is so selfish. 😒 It seems like OP and his wife have a great plan in place and a great life, the parents should be grateful and proud they have such a hard working daughter.

  • @ronaldtipton6035
    @ronaldtipton6035 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Here's a great response: "Your wishes and desires have no bearing on my life decisions."

  • @anndownsouth5070
    @anndownsouth5070 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    A friend of mine got so mad at people asking them when they are staring a family literally as soon as they got married. She started telling people that she couldn't have babies. That shut them up soon.They now have 3 strapping grown boys.

  • @jop23ify
    @jop23ify 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Plumber, phd? Hmm
    I see divorce coming

  • @OsageScoutMom
    @OsageScoutMom 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    We were hounded. We had fertility issues. It took 14 years to get our son. His brother joined 5 years later. They only contact them on birthdays & Christmas.

  • @Twigernt-uo9jw
    @Twigernt-uo9jw 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If the in laws wanted grandchildren so quickly they should have had more children

  • @laurapruitt2129
    @laurapruitt2129 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    OP had every right to tell them to back the f up. NTA.

  • @AndyTaylor301
    @AndyTaylor301 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Here is my thought, if her parents aren’t willing to accept her no, they sure as hell won’t respect the grandchild’s wishes. And when that grandchild tells them no they are going to do what they did here and go to other family members crying about how rude they are and that they aren’t just giving them what they want…. I’d say tell them that if they don’t stop they will never get to see their grandchildren because you will be going no contact because they won’t accept boundaries and then if anyone else comes after you cut ties with them too…

  • @wendybarber4269
    @wendybarber4269 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Not tah. Her parents are full on tah.

  • @Vaggie92
    @Vaggie92 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    YTA, but a rightful one. Kids are hard work and a lot of money, I have one of my own. It's good that OP and his wife understand just how much they would be giving up if they started trying for kids now rather than a couple years down the line, they're just trying to make his in laws understand how much they would have to give up in the early years of the kids life, let alone the fact that OPs wife wouldn't be able to focus on her job and moving up the ranks like she wants. OP is a 100% justified AH for how he did this.

  • @aya-chan4784
    @aya-chan4784 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA we stan a husband with backbone defending his wife's study and choices 👏 We don't owe grandchildren to our parents

  • @Andrey-rc6wp
    @Andrey-rc6wp 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I remember my mom asking me why I was so rude to her. I explained that logic, reason, pleading, explaining at a grade 5 level, being polite, ignoring, etc. doesn’t work. That she’ll push and push until I eventually snap. So I figured instead of going through all that work, I’ll just tell her what I would have said after weeks of arguing and save us both the headache. She’ll be mad for a while, I’ll just go on about my life, eventually she’ll move on, and business as usual for the next 2 months. She did not like that answer. Frankly, sometimes people need to be told off and a reason doesn’t need to be provided.

  • @kikidevine694
    @kikidevine694 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Actually he's the GOAT

  • @sierrafairbanks7776
    @sierrafairbanks7776 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I'm glad OP stood up to his inlaws. I will agree that maybe the inheritance comment was a bit too far. But at the same time not really considering how far up their butts the inlaws were being.

  • @michellemartinov6267
    @michellemartinov6267 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The only thing we don’t get more of is the length of our lives. If the in-laws have the ability to give you that money now, every one wins including those grandchildren that are mere thoughts right now!

  • @LightingLotusLove
    @LightingLotusLove 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I can’t get over him depending on her to give him a “break” because he’s been working since “14” the entire situation is crazy and she should leave him, it’s probably not how he’s telling the story! The parents want babies, this guy wants her salary 😮

    • @ashlinday4469
      @ashlinday4469 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      He did say that SHE wants to give him a break which is understandable since he did pay for her schooling

    • @LightingLotusLove
      @LightingLotusLove 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ashlinday4469 let’s hear that from HER perspective

  • @lorisutherland7728
    @lorisutherland7728 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She should tell them that she wants to work for a while in her field then have children. And that’s it.

  • @cchastant8251
    @cchastant8251 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I got an easy out on this one. Went through cancer treatments when I was 22, and was told that I might not be able to have kids after treatment. I spent about 20 seconds thinking that at my current rate of decline, I had about 2-3 untreated months of life left, so the options were accept treatment, probably live, maybe not have kids OR... No treatment, and die without kids, because my body was clearly shutting down already.
    My reply was in a disinterested tone, since I was long past having the energy to emote. "That's okay, I'll take treatment."
    The doctor looked at me as if I might be crazy, or perhaps didn't really grasp what I was potentially denying myself. As if adoption wasn't a thing... not that I ever expected to be in a situation where adoption was an option, for me, financially... But it is a solid option for people who cannot, for whatever reason, make their own kids.
    For the record, I knew I didn't want to have kids of my own by the time I was 10. Watching my parents, I had no faith in picking out a man who would stay with me to raise kids, and knew I'd need help with raising even one. I had this talk with God back when all the other girls were starting their periods. Told Him I was fine with never having kids, especially if it meant skipping out on periods. He didn't let me pass on the fun of experiencing periods, but I did get a pass on children of my own. I enjoy the children of others, and they seem to like me back.
    Gone through menopause, so unless an act of God happens... no kids for me unless my future partner already has some. And I'm good with that.

  • @rubberduckyyyyyyy
    @rubberduckyyyyyyy 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA it’s her body and she chooses if she even wants children and when she will have them

  • @lynaeeakettgreene7208
    @lynaeeakettgreene7208 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Choosing when to have children is a big decision, no one else can make that choice for a couple.

  • @hopeausbyn1734
    @hopeausbyn1734 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    No. You're pratical. The parents need to put up or shut up.

  • @UnnamedHumanOnEarth
    @UnnamedHumanOnEarth 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    They have worked hard and went to enjoy what they’ve worked for. Makes sense

  • @motherhoodsbeauty9279
    @motherhoodsbeauty9279 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    OP is a great man.

  • @carolynneforlenza9743
    @carolynneforlenza9743 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Do what u want but pay for yourself

  • @user-mi3pg5ds5v
    @user-mi3pg5ds5v 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your wife should kust tell them that she will have children when she's ready!

  • @antithoughtpolice7497
    @antithoughtpolice7497 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    OP is good at making plans, even if he wasn't going through with it

  • @kellyhackley6191
    @kellyhackley6191 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It’s up to your wife. Tell them to be patient.

  • @mariefreeman4235
    @mariefreeman4235 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA Good for you!! Standing up to your in laws was so awesome!!! I hope they understand what you are talking about 😅😅😅😅

  • @tianastapp9854
    @tianastapp9854 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    In laws should be very careful coz it's a blessing you even have kids on the mind....reasonable people don't want kids anymore, it's getting expensive everyday 😅

  • @lotionbottle3746
    @lotionbottle3746 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    How my diet finna look

  • @lyfislemons0075
    @lyfislemons0075 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I wished I could tell that too to nosy relatives and people we just know. They always asked "do u have a husband? " or why mom still hasn't have a grandkids. Is having children the ultimate goal of life? Coz boi, I'm just loosing my mind just to know how can I make money and make my life comfortable. And having children is the least of my concern.

  • @amyyaku5022
    @amyyaku5022 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA, but the grandparents need a pregnancy jar. Make them give money every time they mention grandkids. Eventually they'll stop and realize how selfish they're being and never bring this up again.

  • @laurenblue8828
    @laurenblue8828 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think many old people start acting up at around 30 because there are statistics that say that after 30 kids may be born with more health problems and they get hung up on that+that they want to have grandchildren(i know my grandma had this with my sister). But no matter what may come, its still a persons choice to have a kid or not and parents should only say their concerns if they have any and offer support and not bother the poor couples further.

  • @carolmorgan7998
    @carolmorgan7998 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When or if a couple has children is totally up to them and NOBODY ELSE! LOTS OF NERVE anyone else trying to decide for them!

  • @JetsonAustin
    @JetsonAustin 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You have a valid point. 😂 you sound like my husband! Except he told his mother his wife isn't just for breeding! 😂 I still remember that dinner.

  • @lilyawoodburn
    @lilyawoodburn 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    JAH. Def went into this thinking the guy needed to read the story of the Prodigal Son though lol

    • @winter9242
      @winter9242 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lmao why

  • @Kaboomboo
    @Kaboomboo 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My parents never bothered me for grandchildren. My dad was part up front about wanting them when i was 19 though (eventually, not while I was still a teen. I think he stated seeing the trend of people putting it off for too long and not being able to have them). So my parents didn't have any grandkids for a long time. Then my sister in law got pregnant, then b so did I three months later. Then i got pregnant again, my daughter is 3 months old. While my sister in law and brother's baby mama are both due in June. 5 grandchildren in just 4 years. 😂

  • @bipride1763
    @bipride1763 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Honestly it’s so weird for me hearing stories about people’s families pressuring their children to give them grandchildren. My parents have never been pushy with me about grandkids, neither my siblings (as far as I know, I’m the youngest). I guess the closest would be kind of pushing my older brother into getting a girlfriend but that’s less so for grandkids and more of “He needs to go outside more and interact with people”.

  • @drunklink350
    @drunklink350 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Is he an asshole? Yes, but it was justified. They keep pushing it so he told em ok here's what you gotta do

  • @TalkativeHands
    @TalkativeHands 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yes.
    Better ways to talk to people.
    Also what's stopping you from being a stay at home father while she pursues her career?

    • @ashlinday4469
      @ashlinday4469 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      It’s more saying she can’t have this great career allowing him to do that if they have children because you can’t get started in a career and have to take a month off right at the beginning to have a kid, you want to get good at your job first if you want to be successful

    • @winter9242
      @winter9242 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      In laws could also be better by not pressuring them fool

  • @teresayates8274
    @teresayates8274 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My daughter is 29 and doesn't have chirlden. Thankfully, her long-term boyfriend showed his true colors 2 years ago, and she was grateful not to have chirlden associated with him. It's also not likely that she will be able to have chirlden do to a serious problem with her ovaries. Her new wonderful boyfriend is fine with it either way. I have no problem with this, and neither does she❤

  • @carolmulberry6440
    @carolmulberry6440 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA. They need to mind their own business instead of pushing for grandkids. I’d be telling them to butt out or they would lose me and my spouse on top of losing any contact with our future kids IF we decided to have them.

  • @sadgirl7321
    @sadgirl7321 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The op isn’t in the wrong, bro has standards

  • @J25131
    @J25131 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I wanna eat the food

  • @bforman1300
    @bforman1300 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Was going to say YTA because who asks for an inheritance early? But once I heard the situation definitely NTA!
    As Mom has always said, "People should have children because they want to have children, not because someone else wants them to have children."
    Also, your own arguments are perfectly valid.

  • @summerrosetaylor4950
    @summerrosetaylor4950 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    NTA!

  • @TheGrimStride
    @TheGrimStride 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What he did wasn’t wrong but mentioning an inheritance is very presumptuous.
    Most elderly need run that shit dry with medical bills and housing

  • @Lycanthromancer1
    @Lycanthromancer1 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My father's dying wish was for me to have kids. Not only do I NOT like kids _at all,_ but I have no idea how to be a good parent, since my parents were absolute shit*, and on top of that, I'm gay. I won't _ever_ be having kids.
    *I was basically locked in my room when I wasn't eating or using the bathroom, wasn't allowed to have friends up until high school, and all the human interaction I had was either abusive or...well, that's it, actually. Still have severe social anxiety, 44 years later.

  • @RickySpanish1313
    @RickySpanish1313 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    JERRY JERRY JERRY !

  • @wandahaines7143
    @wandahaines7143 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I only have one daughter, my only chance for grandchildren. She told me when she was in her early 20s that she did not want children. My comment was , "well you're the one who has to raise them so that's your decision not mine." She now has 2 children and is an incredible mother. She and her husband are talking about having a couple more. While I would adore having more grandchildren, it's not my decision.

  • @grimreaper2606
    @grimreaper2606 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Isn't that a mild case or extortion? Grand children If they give you your inheritance early?

  • @randomthings7872
    @randomthings7872 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Though not the same situation, since my mom isn't pressuring me to have a kid yet, which would be weird to do so since I'm not graduated from high school yet.
    However, when I mentioned to her I'd rather not have kids she always says,"That's what I said." The thing with her is that she revealed that they didn't use proper protection and so its like "no shit you got pregnant." Also, my aunt made the same decision to not have kids and guess what, she still doesn't have kids! And my aunt is in her 30's and has been married twice, but she managed to keep her goal of not having children.
    And I know at some point my mom might pressure me to have a kid when I'm older, she wants to be a grandma in the future but guess what, its not about her! Plus, I've said that if I change my mind in the future about kids I'd probably foster or adopt, which she also didn't like saying that I need a biological kid to properly "bond" with them and that I don't want a kid with baggage. But as I've said, me deciding if I want kids or not and how I get that kid is not about her, a kid is a life changing decision that will impact me more then it will impact her.
    Also the reason why I'd rather foster or adopt if I want a kid is because 1. I don't like the idea of me being pregnant or giving birth and 2. I don't want to change dirty diapers for the first few years of a baby's life, I much rather have a kid who is already potty trained.

  • @snowonie
    @snowonie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Nta simply because it's none of their business

  • @hawntedcrow
    @hawntedcrow 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Old people need to stop being so obsessed with having grandchildren istg…

  • @lncarnold
    @lncarnold 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I hate it when ppl think THEY can decide or demand grand kids! It’s stupid and I at am the age to be one and not once have I demanded or hinted. Not my business!

  • @leanne.2006
    @leanne.2006 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA, as a female whos aoon gonna start more edjucation for a good job its so good that she wannts to focus on her work! Its importand to be stable befor u have kids

  • @yeyosilver7067
    @yeyosilver7067 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good answer but I hope she doesn't want to have kids, because she's 28 and still wants to wait a few more years, that might not work out. It's amazing how many women don't know this information and how the media hides it

  • @gwolfstahl
    @gwolfstahl 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love tiny kitchen videos!

  • @angelaspecialfox_ro289
    @angelaspecialfox_ro289 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    he made a really good point. it is their lives after all, and they are not hurting anymore, so why be so agressive with such a request? even only one child is a great responsability, if you want them to have a good life, wich would mean to have a stable financial suport.

  • @lovelyme696969
    @lovelyme696969 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I hate that,
    It was the parents choice to have children, parents have 0 say in when or IF their are potential grand children, that is purely and simply down to their children to decide.

  • @deandreyarbrough7598
    @deandreyarbrough7598 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Red flags all through this marriage

    • @winter9242
      @winter9242 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The only red flag are the in laws

  • @RebeccaLunsford-qe2kt
    @RebeccaLunsford-qe2kt 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NTA first it's you and your wife's life not there. I think you two have a great plan to enjoy.

  • @alexlavoie4174
    @alexlavoie4174 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Her parents really think she got a PHD to not use it? Or struggle to use it while starting a career and dealing with babies/toddlers