Self Sabotage: How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2025
- Let's talk about self sabotage. You may or may not realize you're doing it. Today we explore all the ways we hold ourselves back, why we do it, and how to stop doing it. Comment below with examples of your own self sabotaging - once you're aware of it, you can begin to change it!
// watch related videos
→ how to stop procrastinating | bit.ly/2HwQj8M
→ time management & productivity tips | bit.ly/2ZrlzjV
→ the success mindset | bit.ly/2OxQSQH
→ self worth series | bit.ly/2K9O4dP
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Edited by Loryn Teranishi | @yoloryn
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// M A I L B O X
Aileen Xu
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// A B O U T
I’m Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.
Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love.
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Recently I just realized I'm sabotaging myself through :
-procrastination
- unhealthy binge eating
- sleep at odd hours
- and occasionally skipping my skincare routine.
BTW, thanks for the informational video.
Same
Same because I am unemployed with no security with the fear of not being worthy of finding something else to do.
I procrastinate because i hate collage and the animation career im perusing i want a simple job animation is too exotic and risky
Very well explained!!
How do you fix ?
It took me a year to cure myself from these mind blocks, to stop thinking about "what if" and just go after my dream. I was overthinking things, I was constantly stressed out. But I found something that worked for me: I've listed all my fears in a notepad, and once I've read them out loud they sounded so ridiculous that I was not afraid anymore. :))
I didn't accomplish what I desire yet, but during the last year I've learned to enjoy the journey. :)
Enjoy the journey is sooooo important! Thanks to that, you can enjoy each one of them. 😉
With a positive mindset, you can achieve anything! I recommend you to create your own vision board, it helps soooo much to attract everything you desire! I've done mine, and put it next to my desk, so my eyes see it every time I'm working. This + positive affirmations really changed my life, 'cause I really enjoy the journey without any pressure... And you know what? Since you truly, deeply, understand how life is beautiful every single day, you totally let go. You trust the Universe. And since I'm being grateful, look at my vision board and really believe that my dream life is possible and start taking actions, so many possibilities have come up to me, and signs of the universe! (for example, I put blueberries on my vision board 'cause I looove them, and yesterday, I' ve found some on a store! It wasn't the case before! *wink wink from the Universe *
Wish you all the best, and you know what? Maybe this positive response from an unknown person is actually a sign from the Universe, and also for you, human who's reading it 😉
Edit : The Dream Life Series by Aileen is priceless! If you have one day when you're sick, stuck at home, or whatever is the reason, just watch it! It will help you beyond your expectations, believe me. It was the case for me. ❤️
Think Citric oh I love that exercise :)
@@aimielisa Ohhh yes I love those Dream Life Series! I found them last year when I was just thinking of changing my life, and that was really like a sign from the Universe. :) I've watched every single episode, taken action, and now 1 year later I have no regrets at all! :)
Vision board it a great idea, I didn't try this exercise before, maybe it'll make things even better! :)
I wish you best of luck on your journey, and keep that positive mindset and energy! ))
@@ThinkCitric thank you! Wish you all the best ❤️🎊
That's so cool!
I have been always that girl who is scared , afraid of pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Couple of months ago I came out from a one sided relationship with my husband after almost 13 years. Moved with my mother and sibling. Got a job and trying to finish my degree.
Go for all that positive change, Karmun. Invest in yourself and thrive :-)
Wishing you all the best! You can only go up from here!
Good job! You can do this!
you’re doing so amazing! 🌿🤍
Good luck girl. U should be super proud u had the strength and confidence to leave and understand your worth. You got this xx
1. recognise when and how you self sabotage
2. believe that you deserve whatever you're working towards
3. Learn to manage your fears and do it in spite of them
4.know that you're stronger than you think
Ways self-sabotaging myself
- negative belief systems
- being victim
- procrastination
- fear of failure and growing out of my comfort zone
- doubting myself
- being too nice
Thank you for your video 😊 it helped me alot on my journey to transformation.
You have the power to change how you lived in the past by what you do today and practice it 💯 I'm currently learning. Good to know I'm not the only one growing out of this.
This is so important! I think we hold ourselves back a lot in life because we don’t believe we are able to achieve what we truly desire and would rather not know than see ourselves fail. I’m always trying to push myself out of my comfort zone because of this, and remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind to! ❤️❤️
It’s all in what you believe! ❤️❤️
Heeeeee😊
I sabotage myself by eating more when I want to lose weight, developing a unhealthy mindset with food and body image. I feel like the more I want to reach my goal, the more I let myself lose control. I found out, with your help, that by breaking my goal into small tasks and focusing on one at a time I can make small but firm steps. I also procastinate a lot with certain homework/exams so I :
- make a list of the things that I have to do (the more detailed the better)
- make sure that I have enough time to finish each task ( I only let myself take breaks, but: no leaving things undone).
-treat myself with something I like/ is good for me when I finish something.
Treating ourselves is very important.We need an incetive to push ourselves to work harder. Sometimes we don´t see results inmediatly and we get fustrated.We(or I) need to learn that great things take time, and that time is never wasted.
I also found out that when I procastinate because of boredome, I tend to do other productive things and forget about that task.
The only thing that helps me is making priorities and trying to be more persistent with it.
Hope it wasn´t boring :) I love your videos and I hope this helps someone else.
Love from Spain
That's great ! Congrats on your progress💜
pie_ari love that you’re learning with each step! Keep going 💪🏼✨
You just 100% described my situation!
Thank you for sharing this lovely.
I feel like my biggest self sabotage is taking on way too many things at once. Then I get overwhelmed and start procrastinating, and can’t give my best to all of the things I’ve taken on. I just get excited about too many projects at the same time🙈
Omg I’m so guilty of this one too 🙈
Courtney Nicole I do the same exact thing 😖
I also have the same problem, I hope I won't go through it again this year by working on self reflect and journaling!
Are you me? I feel this in every way 😣😣🌈♥️
I thought it was just me!
Be aware of your thoughts, words and actions. Have a positive self-talk, create a positive and strong relationship with yourself and never give up on your goals and yourself. You can do anything, you just need to believe yourself worthy of success and love and believe yourself capable of reaching your fullest potential.
But why it so hard to believe in myself sobs
The irony of me watching a video about self sabotage while self sabotaging 😂👏
sameeee omg
But you are learning something new. Maybe just how to be kinder with yourself. Anything you desire, you deserve it :)
@@cybrog6461 this is sweet ! Thank you :)
Exactly the same ✌
same
sometimes Lavi’s videos are like a punch in the face, like i’m “waking up for reality”... it’s hard to admit i’m doing all this with myself, but i’m so grateful for being aware of my mistakes, that’s when you grow! love u Lavendaire, thank you
maria fernanda we’re all here to grow together! 💪🏼❤️
She in no way means it like a punch in the face, so hug yourself because you are wounded. Or hug someone. Because they are wounded also.
I almost self sabotaged myself out of a great job opportunity. I had a friend at my job that told me about this new position opening in her department. I was 3 yrs in my current position in another department. I really got the hang of my work flow and could do it with my eyes closed. Yes! I was comfortable. It was a dream position. It offered better hours better pay better benefits than what I was receiving. So what was my problem. FEAR and PROCRASTINATION! Those are my main sabotaging traits. My friend asked me a whole WEEK late if I submitted my resume and I told her NO. She was like WHAT ARE U WAITING FOR😩😡😂 I simply said IDK 🤷🏽♀️ so that day I asked myself that question again and I took a leap of faith and submitted my resume. I didn’t hear anything back for weeks AND THEN! right before I was getting to leave work a couple of weeks ago I get a phone call to set up a phone interview 🤗 and was offered the job the next day. I have learned a valuable lesson about self sabotaging and that is DONT DO IT!!! You will miss out on great things. Thank Aileen for this video🥰💗 First day on new job October 7, 2019🤗
Lynnice Carter aw thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you Aileen for giving me the platform to share🤗
Oh wow! Well done, love a happy story! Joanna xx
That’s my situation rn I’m so afraid!!
*“I’m not good enough”*
When we care for societal construction and try to adopt a characters that benefits others beliefs. The path is unique, follow the inner voice.
bro why are you on freaking every video existing on youtube?
@@tabassummohona1965 he's watching good ones so! 😁
I like ur comment 💟, I have seen in other videos also. U write really nice.
I wanna ask why do we care what people think and why even being aware of that fear we get anxiety
@@tabassummohona1965 lmfao I was thinking the same thing
I am literally the root to all of my problems. My consistent self sabotage has encouraged me to start lashing out at others, lashing out at myself. I’ve spent so much of my life living in fear, I’m going to enter the adult world lost because I spent so much time hiding away trying to find comfort. This video really helped.
this video reminded me of a great quote ive been loving recently- “its always wise to ask yourself whether you’re failing on purpose to avoid failing at your purpose” definitely a quote that gets you thinking!🤔 thought you might like it ♡
Love it! xx
Yess early again! I feel attacked 😂 this came right at the moment when I stated procrastinating my studying. Much needed 👏
Samihah Ebrahim 😂 it’s a wake up call with love
😭
I self-sabotage in relationships ;
- when I speak to someone, I remind myself unconsciously that I am a boring person and that I need to tell a joke to be loved and appreciated. It's like I think I am not enough. I don't let myself feel the conversation, I don't react naturally, so I end up being awkward as hell and I hate it. This is so frustrating I don't know how to let go of this. I know the roots I think, but I have to link the behaviors to them. I protect myself from "future rejection" by sabotaging the relationship.
- I noticed recently that I was told all my life that I was brillant, so to put effort in something means I am not good enough. This is something I am working on. My self-worth is based on being naturally good at everything, but it's not realistic at all and is more damaging than helpful.
- I eat fast food consciously even though I don't want to be unhealthy.
It's a long journey, but I am hopeful (sometimes not and I have ending life thoughts, but I don't want to do it. It's just because It seems so hard to overcome my fears). Good luck everyone !
You’ll do brilliantly, love.😘💞
I needed this video today! I self-sabotage by listening to the negative thoughts in my head and fearing making mistakes. Sometimes by fearing making mistakes, I unconsciously make mistakes. For example, I sing off key because I am afraid to give it my all and then make a mistake and be judged for it. This is because I go into singing a song with the expectation that I have to be perfect from the start.
Joan Pack ahh I see. That makes so much sense!
I'm a big offender of this. I have to really push myself to keep going and to realise my value and self-worth. I take a big leap forwards and then sabbotage myself little by little until I'm back at step 1. Thanks for this video.
Gary Swaby been there & still working on it! But awareness is the first step to change 💪🏼💪🏼
Same with me bro
I procrastinate, when I get that success that I wanted it's so big I do not know how to handle it and move forward. That is when I push it away and not working harder. This month even when I'm scared I'm pushing myself in a direction and I'm so proud that I'm doing it. Thanks for your amazing content and what you give to us, helping us grow and let us see more about our selves.
As someone that has anxiety disorder I constantly relearn and repeat these steps but that also teaches me new things every time. Great video, Aileen!
self sabotage for me happens when I have a bunch of homework and deadlines due for college, which leads to procrastination, which leads to me feeling awful for not being productive and for not doing the things I need to do in order to reach my goals. I think it's something I'm dealing with right now, but I wasn't aware of it. I'm not attending college as much as I should, I skip a lot of classes, and I'm not keeping up with my to do lists. And because of that I feel like I'm not doing anything good, because all I do is lie in my bed. Thankyou for this video!! ❤
I am the queen of procrastination and giving up even if I see the beneficits.
I just wrote today in my journal"why do I not allow myself to be the person I want to be" .
You help me understand that I am sabotaging my self. Thank you.
This is so true and I know that it's only me telling myself “I'm not worthy like him/her. And I’m not gonna do well anyway” but I’m too afraid of the failure I predicted in my head or maybe responsibilities that will come with it or some other people’s eyes or whatever
Maya Sakuramoto So meeee other people eyes we care so much what people think of us
Presently, I am self sabotaging myself.
I am not focused on what I am doing,I don't want to grow and educate myself , emotional and mental disturbance which leads me to believe that I am not worthy to achieve my goals and dreams even if I have the inner strong voice saying that I could, which dies soon and I get back to the same state as earlier....
Thank u so much for letting me know that this is totally normal,as I had been thinking that I was the only one who was facing such problems...
For so many months that I have observed from my behavior, I even wrote the things I feel and do but I still couldn't connect the dots and patterns to why it happens. This video helped me to figure out what I was doing to myself. I can finally understand why I tend to feel anxious whenever I try to do something different from my regular routine. Just the discomfort of change. Thank you Lavendaire! without this video of yours I wouldn't still understand why I keep distracting myself from pursuing a goal.
i just fell into this video and this was the best thing that happened to me this week, seriously i really needed this sm
*Identifying the root cause of your self sabotage cannot be skipped or might never be resolved*
Thanks for structuring this video this way 💙
I watched two of your videos one night (this one and time management tips) and followed your advice the next day, the results changed the quality of my life almost immediately. I really needed that push to keep working on what’s most important to me. Thank you, Aileen! ❤️
Thank you for this! For me it happens in the form of procrastination, emotional eating, and backing away from friends each time I grow closer to that friend/ person.
I’m autistic and have been looking into theories of how I self-sabotage. For me, self-sabotage is probably a coping mechanism to the constant change happening in the world and a way to avoid meltdowns/shutdowns. I’m an engineering student and this cycle has really been affecting my grades this past semester so this was something that I needed to keep going :)
Self sabotage is actually something i am suffering from.. But also am in a huge emotionally weaker stage.. It's like i need someone with me to cheer me up or spend time with me or be my support but when i see people around me i found they really don't care if am visible or not and this hurts me alot.. My family my friends my colleagues not even a single person is there for me. And am not a person who shares each n everything i feel with another person but it's sometimes a heartbreaking moment for me if i feel alone at a point and i don't have anyone around ..who really cares for me at the same point.
I know i need to be strong i need to be self sufficient and i don't need anybody else for me..bt sometimes our mind and heart are not on the same path and this is actually what is happening woth me right now.. Your videos r hope sometimes .. Plz if u help can me to be strong enough emotionally.. 💜
This video saves me. Now I realize the reason behind my procrastination. I always fear of beginning doing many things because I though it will fail. And deeply I don't think I deserve success and happiness that comes with it. So that's what holding me back.
Thank you Aileen. After watching this video I feel I am courageous enough to get start doing something that I want to do.
Love you so much
Thank you so much for all the helpful information in this video! I've been blocked with keeping a consistent exercise routine and getting back in shape. Every time I start a new exercise routine I get sick. Then it throws off the momentum I had and makes it harder to keep going. I appreciate all the tips you shared!
I realize that I was self sabotaging myself in my career and in my health. I always go back because I’m afraid of change. Thank you so much for share this video. Going to rewatch it when I feel this fear. ❤️❤️
This is so insightful! Especially the part about not letting yourself feel too happy/proud, I am definitely doing that. It’s great to remind yourself of things you already know but still don’t implement. ❤️
Indonesian, Turkish, Spanish, and Vietnamese subtitles are available! Click "CC" and check the video settings. Thank you to the contributors listed in the description 💕
I feel like I’m not good enough for my goals, yet I have my family and my friends telling me that I could do so much if I pushed myself to reach these goals. I think I’ve been afraid to be happy because I had been in such a toxic place for so long, I struggle to reset and start over. It’s been something I’ve been having such a hard time with for almost 5 years.
This video was so helpful!
Work on building your sense of self worth & self love ❤️ where do these thoughts of “not good enough” come from? That’s a good place to start. Good luck with your journey dear!
Same! Over the last few weeks, I've seen my goals and 'golden reality' all starting to fall into place and, I've been in a toxic, judgemental and chaotic household my whole teenage life. Now I've lost weight, grown up a lot more mature, spiritual and emotional wise and people just keep pushing my buttons. Now, being happy happy is so foreign to me at this point because I'm so used to chaos, you know? Sorry for rambling
The gap between knowing and doing resonated with me so much! You are totally right! I actually have seen this recently since trying to stop snoozing when I try to get up early. When you actually get up when the alarm goes off, and actually stay up, you kill the anguish period! Turns out it’s actually easier to not snooze. Great video.
I be sabotaging myself all day tomorrow's midtest but im still doing it anyway thank you for uploading this aileen! lots of love from Indonesia🖤✨
Thank you for this video. It really talked to me. My self sabotage is most "i don't deserve happiness". It's hard to change my mind. It's good to know i'm not the only one struggling with that
A friend sent me this for loosing weight, but I needed to hear this! I self sabotage my painting! I’m an artist and I love painting and want to do it more - everyday! But I make up excuses not to like I have to clean, do bills, laundry, shop, even watch tv instead of doing the thing I love! I don’t know what I’m afraid of? People not liking my paintings? Me not liking my paintings? But the more I do it the better I will get and I am very talented!
Right after she said that happiness was a choice I just told myself “I feel really happy,” and started smiling like a lunatic, and sure enough the dopamine shot through my system and now I honestly feel really happy. Mind over matter.
I have walked away from people that expected more of me. As past a leader, I might or might not have disappointed them. Dealing and settling some stuff that is related to those people makes me think more than twice, then leads me to procrastinate my work because maybe I' m trying to avoid them. I just miss the sparks that I used to have in me; the braveness of going out of my comfort zone to face reality. Thank you, Aileen, for the reminder!
Thank you sooooooo much for posting this! Ive been thinking this for a but now. Because after I did the reaserch and created the level for my business Ive been procrastinating at taking that first real step ,frankly, because I dont see myslef as an entrepreneur and am actually scared of attaining sucess and not being able to sustain it. But anyhow, youre so right! There's no reason for me to be doing this to myself doubting myself even worse than those around me. Funny how I get angry at them for doubting me yet I dont even let myself take the chance out of unfounded fear. Ive set myself a two week start date where I can gyst and just go for it! do as much as I can now and building on it as soon as I can later. Thanks, Aileen 💐
I am slightly moody, I get a little fussy when it comes about working and getting up to physically move myself in order to receive my desires. I tend to block myself from getting happily along with my family and friends and kind of like fall into that track of depression it's all the frequency of depression once you are there you just keep going in the depth to this feeling of never wanting to get up. But its all just matter of self-sabotage what I do in such mental condition is to work towards what I love, like painting or writing morals etc. And be my own sun not wait for it to rise to get up and work, have a positive attitude towards life. And be my own inner-fighter to fight my Insecurities. Thank you so much Aileen. ❤️❤️❤️
Good explanation. Thanks for sharing. Concerning our comfort zones; I heard Ralph Smart say this "Extend your comfort zone" which is cool because it reminds you that although the process feels uncomfortable; ultimately you are adding more comfort. That's how I interpret it anyway.
I tend to not make eye contact with people or talk or always avoid being seen because I don't want to feel uncomfortable or seen or humiliated. I feel like it's a part of self esteem and our ego or the fear of unknown. But thank you this really opened my mind thank you so much 💮🙏♥️
I work from home and find it super easy to get up and start cooking or eat instead of doing my work. A friend suggested morning pages are a great way to work through that, but I know I have a lot of work to do to get past this and develop healthier habits.
I'm currently going through a computer engineering school, i'm 20 and i feel like this will determine my financial success in life, but i'm always sabotaging myself, and i feel even crappier for the fact that i'm aware of this. So from tomorrow on i'm gonna try my best to end this behavior and achieve success, i'll be updating this comment every week if i can,, thank you all.
😭😭😭
Thank you so so so much!
You have no idea how much this mattered to me >< I felt like nowadays I'm in an evident self-sabotaging cycle.. but somehow it feels really difficult to get out and break it. This video of yours really helped me identify the root causes 😭😭
Once again thank you so much 💖
After spending about 9 hours studying and making very little progress in my to-do list (very frustrating) yesterday, I slept at my usual sleep time. I woke up early but I had no will to actually “get up” from my bed and continue studying. I kept going back to sleep and waking up and this went on for about 3-4 hours. I finally decided to stay awake but instead I go on TH-cam and watch this video. I know realized that what I’m going through is self sabotage. After I watched it, i decided to finally get my day rolling. Now that I’m aware of it, I feel I can now work on fixing it. Put simply, I just want to say thank you for creating this video.
Thank you so much for the reminder Aileen!❤️ I think personally for me, self sabotage happens when I get too comfortable and also when I’m afraid of failure or a negative outcome, Its useful to remember that we are not aware of all the great things that life has to offer and we NEVER WILL BE if we dont take the chance!💖 Thank you once again🌸
I have had several self sabotaging behaviours whereby I procrastinate a lot and I almost unconciously push myself hard and then procrastinate again all to keep me at the same comfortable level. I know that I am worthy of being my best and the version of myself that is the most excellent and outstanding that I can be. Life is short and full of wonder and growth and opportunities and from now on, I will know this and I will do something about it.
I have been sabotaging myself by not committing to myself and putting energy on to other people and situations. I also KNOW what I’m good at, and I’m also talented at it, but Im still afraid of judgement and my own judgement and part of my prodcastination is deffinetly being a perfectionist and wanting to do everything perfectly because my goals matter a lot to me.
But then again it takes the fun away so I got to learn how to be more light hearted about all this and remember why it is FUN for me to create and be authentically myself. Thank you for this video ❤️
I feel like I'm a master of self sabotage. I sabotage my relationships a lot, where I won't tell people that I love them just out of fear of getting close. The more I want something the more I will distance myselg from it. I also tent to just spiral into depressive thinking. Sometimes I literally just get a huge headache before I do something that I love and it's almost like my body is sabotaging me.
Trying to keep my eyes on what I actually want vs what I think I want when I'm sabotaging myself is the hardest, but I know it's the only way to do it. And if you find yourself unable to fight your own self sabotage, therapy is a great way to dig through all the mental dirt. You have to do it, but you don't have to do it alone!
Feel like I am self-sabotaging myself today, procrastinating and not doing what I need to be doing. It's okay though. Taking a deep breath and trying again :) thank you, Aileen.
I don't really let myself be happy. Like, there are some good things happening to me, but I don't let myself fully enjoy these things because I remember the reason why I'm not happy.
I think I started sabotaging myself at work. I was unemployed for awhile, but when I finally got a job, I was grateful and hard-working. I showed up on time and worked full shifts. But recently, I've been showing up to work late, taking shorter shifts, and exhibiting a less-than-grateful attitude (very "let's hurry this up so I can go home!"). This hasn't gone on long enough to cause any problems...other than my noticing less money in my account! My financial success is important to me, so I am adjusting my behavior. But thank you for this video, as it is a reminder that complacency and doing the bare minimum hurt more than they help.
Wow, this really resonated with me.
For myself, I gave up alcohol about 3 months ago. I always thought the tough part would be the alcohol itself, but in fact, it’s been the realisations of all the holes in my life that I was ‘pushing down’ even as a moderate drinker. One of those is self sabotage.
I also think, that I’ve come to the realisation that I live with significant anxiety. This ties in with my self sabotaging behaviours, that I’ve only recently realised a pattern.
I’m sure it’s in many aspects, that I’ll realise as time goes on, but my main self sabotaging comes in the form of my career / jobs.
I’ve had every job you can think of. Probably 30 different jobs in 20 years. I often excel and really impress with my work ethic and the way I pick things up and retain information.
Then, after awhile, the sick days are used up, because I just don’t want to go back to work. I fear it, avoid it, dread it, I just can’t deal with it for some unknown reason.
I’ll go to my doctor and say I’m burnt out, need a week off. Then I get this dopamine hit, like I’m free of the anxiety for a week now. But it only comes back.
Eventually, I leave the job. Find a new one, talk myself into the fact that this could be the one. I might finally find what I’m good at this time. Again, I interview well, usually always get the role, excel, then rinse and repeat.
20 years now, it’s relentless. Sure I’ve had my issues growing up and throughout life, but I’ve never dealt with them. Things like alcohol, gambling, spending money I shouldn’t, creating and compounding extra struggle and difficulties in life, for no reason.
It seems like ludicrous behaviour, but it’s what I seem to do.
As a side-note, I’m very capable, can be super dedicated and hard working too, so it just makes zero sense that I seem to keep destroying myself as I go through life.
Anyway, I got side tracked and kept writing. I’m definitely thinking about entering some therapy, based on the things I’ve learnt about myself recently.
Giving up alcohol was definitely the catalyst for me starting to take a long hard look in the mirror.
Thank you for the video. It was really impactful and eye opening ❤
I always felt like a dreamer surrounded by realists. I used to have big dreams, believe in love and wonders but growing up, I lost hope for anything good because the people around me made me feel like I'm naive for dreaming big. Everyone is so practical so I thought something was wrong with me and after experiencing some trauma, it made me feel like I truly was too naive. I am trying bit by bit now to regain some of my hope for good things but self sabotaging, anxiety and doubt is like second nature to me now 😅 But the journey isn't over yet! Thank you for this video 💕
6:18 a point that i need to note down!!
Yassss gurl i literally realised how much i am procrastinating myself ,it is holding me back from my goal ,i will do everything that's possible to reach my goal, i , one of my goals is i want to love myself as who i am right now ,sis you're helping me a lot ,lots of love 💗💗💗
This is absolutely what happens to me, I don't feel like I'm worth it, whether it's love or accomplishments. I procrastinate so much because I also don't wanna be the center of attention :(
I could not finish up my MA program because of being always afraid ... I was really brilliant during my studies journey , yet depression and self- sabotage destroyed me . I am 28 now , I hope I ll be able to compensate that damage . I will try to carry on my studies in the future ....
I feel you..I'm sending you lots of love.and may you become stronger than any fear or obstacle in your journey
This is the video I’ve been wanting to listen. I’ve been having problem with my procrastination. I often have this plan in my head what to do but all of the sudden I’ve got caught with this negativity to just use social media. That’s really holding me back. I can’t thank you enough! You’re the best!
I sabotage my success in running my own clothing brand. I was doing good but I got lazy and was afraid of what would happen if I grew more. I would ship my orders really late because I wasn’t sure if my stuff was good enough. My wholesale orders too. I would start them at the very last minute and think of every possible thing that could go wrong. I’d miss out on opportunities and then cry about it. My peak was Kylie Jenner wearing my outfit on Travis scotts music video. After people congratulated me I felt like it was just luck and I didn’t deserve it. I’d avoid any topic about my business and try to hide because I didn’t feel worthy of being associated with my brand. Eventually I stopped completely. I’m working on it again but this time I’m aware of how I self sabotage myself. I am worthy of success and living my dream life. I have to remind myself to not be afraid of the unknown. I’m glad we are here and bettering ourselves 💚
Self sabotage is multi segments validation, fear of failure, fear of success and then having to accept and maintain that new level and the feeling of accomplishment followed by failure and falling back into the place which you belong. Limiting beliefs that you don’t deserve to have success and be abundant
for me i started doing this last year after i purchased a new car and got a bigger place in the summer. Reflecting i realised it was after that period when i just started indulging in a lot of toxic behaviours (smoking too much, not focusing on my my business which got me to this point and just putting others before myself). got caught in this cycle and next thing i knew the year was over. everything happens for a reason so i just see this as a lesson of needing balance. 2022 i’m being more patient, prioritised and positive
You're my everyday inspiration Aileen, Love you 💞💞
I love how people express themselves freely in your videos' comment box
Great points! Gotta push through that comfort zone! "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage"
so so great. its really common than we realise it. i cleared part 1 of an exam and just after exam i went into that lazy mode and didnt feel motivated to do anything. no desire, nogoal, just doing nothing. self work is so important to overcome this.
This makes me so sad, I keep on self sabotaging myself. But I’m gonna work on it.
OmG this was right up my alley today... as a teacher I noticed that I will focus on one of my students with bad behavior. I focused on him instead of my future lessons for the afternoon or even the week. I wasted a whole day focusing in one this situation and found that this is one way I self-sabotage! I didn't even realize it!! Thank you so much!
My self-sabotage mostly looks like not doing what I want to do out of fear of losing friends / being judged. I convince myself that approval from my environment is more important to me than chasing my dreams. Or I convince myself that whatever I want to do won't work out anyway. It can manifest in many different ways, but it all comes down to: I convince myself that expressing myself is not worth the possible conflict/judgement it might generate. Definitely something to work on...
How are you doing today?
@@shanaesmith112 much, much better on this front 😉
Im currently in my second semester of PA school and feeling hardcore self sabotage and doubt in my ability to succeed in this field which has manifested into bad anxiety and feelings of panic, This video was so helpful! Thank you so much
I'm so excited to share that the new 2020 Artist of Life Workbook is out!! Start your year with crystal clear vision. This is your guide to setting your intentions and goals for 2020: lavendaire.com/workbook
Hi. Do you have time to talk? I really need advice.
@@ruffymapano1982 did u try looking online or talking to the therapist ?
So accurate. I needed this Lavendaire, thank you so much!
😅😅
Whoa! I feel I've been self sabotaging myself for a few years now, that makes me kind of sad, but I can only hope I am able to overcome it 💖 thanks for this video
My self-sabotage is watching youtube all day and living vicariously through the people I watch because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and have no sense of what to do and feel I will never be successful. Trying to change but it's hard when I have no clue where to start or have any goals I can realistically reach 😕
Aileen this hit me so hard. I've working out constantly for 3 weeks and a couple of days ago I told my mom that I was scared because I was being so good that I felt that soon I'd reach that point when I'm succeeding then I feel "bored" and stop. You have no idea how much I needed this, it's not that I get bored, like you said is fear, now I can see it clearly, I fear success. I try to not think about it too much and just keep the habit now that I know that working out is helping me so much with my recently diagnosed anxiety. Thank you so much 💜
i think u r a mind reader..whenever i stuck in some situations u always giving your hand to lift me up through your ideas and your videos..thank you...
I'm self-sabotaging right now as I'm procrastinating when I'm supposed to polish my CV and cover letter to apply for my internship. I guess I'm scared of being rejected, of going to interviews if I ever get one, of knowing that once I do my internship, it means I don't have classes to attend and I'll probably never meet my classmates again as everyone will be busy with their internship and their thesis. It's been going on for over a month and I was so anxious until this video. Thanks Aileen!
Omg, you just described my life right now. I recently moved to Mexico City to pursue my acting career and all I've done is procrastinate and make excuses to not got to auditions, such as "oh, I got chores to do" or whatever. I've been feeling so angry at myselg for sabotaging myself like this, I'm like "Girl, isn't this where you wanted to be so you could accomplish your goals? Then why are you not acting on it?!". I realised it's fear, so I've been working my way out of it, been working on my self worth. Thank you so much for your insight, Aileen!
After watching this I realize I'm doing WAY better than I thought. I've been breaking out of my comfort zone and striving for success relentlessly. I've been breaking old thought patterns, focusing on affirmations and mantras and being my own best friend. I got this! Success and abundance is on its way ❤️
Weight Loss Journey: I've constantly struggled with my weight from a very young age, especially since I was always compared to my sisters. Even now, when I'm in my late 20's, I'm still struggling with this journey. I will set my alarm for the morning, pack my gym bag, and go to sleep early.. then the next morning I find myself dragging my feet around the house until I watch the time go by until I've missed my fitness class. Then this overwhelming feeling of guilt & shame overtakes me. That's my self sabotage. Thank you for this video Eileen! I really needed this.
Thank you! I always love your videos. I have definitely been self-sabotaging myself with my ultimate purpose. I’ve been making excuses and I’m done! I deserve it all.
I am aware of my exterior and my other qualities. I am not such a person attempting to take anyone down . Yet I am the person taken down with no reason by others. That does not make me feel insecure but it makes me demotivated to get know new people.
Self-sabotage shows up for me in perfectionism. I tell myself I can't take action until things are absolutely perfect. And then I get to procrastinate . . . forever.
This video was so helpful and eye opening, first time in years I understood what my real problem is. Not that I never realised that I stop myself in forms of procastinating or binge eating, I thought I m being a coward which is so stressful. Also I struggling with self esteem and have lot of self doubt, now I can connect all the puzzles. Thank you so much talking about this in such understandable way❤
Wooow im litterally relaxed now and comfortable quite a bit to be able to understand what i have been passing through for 3 months 😌.
Manyyyyy thanks indeed Aleen , im really praying for you for finally explaining to me the situation i ve got through that i myself couldnt unfold .i used to beat myself very often for feeling lost , mentally blocked and just less motivated and confident about my current English level .since im struggling to jump up my current English level to the next, i faced self sabotage during those 3 months and i ve got all those symptoms you pointed out at in the video .but im super happy that i watched this video it really lighted me up and motivated me to continue my English learning journey❤❤❤💪🤗😌🌼
بارك الله فيك .may Allah bless you dear
Been thinking about doing a coding bootcamp since 2018. Trying to find motivation to commit to this journey and not let my fear control me. great video
Thank you for this Aileen, I've been holding myself back for months because of fear and anxiety and listening to this video yesterday made me take the leap today and finally tell my family something I've been wanting to do. It's just a training I wanted to take but I've been really afraid to tell them fearing I might get rejected but they didn't and they're willing to support. It's such a small thing yet it gives me anxiety, I feel anxious to meet other people, learn things, and be independent but this video pushed me. Your videos are always so helpful.💜
Wow congrats for the quality of this video, this is just so well articulated! :) I couldn't put words on that feeling, but that's exactly what's happening to me since a few months, after making a big step towards what I want, I could not understand why do I block myself and feel so anxious, I don't feel good about atteining goals anymore, more guilty cause I don't beliebe it's deserved and that I need to work harder… that's definitely going to be some big work on myself, but now that I heard it from you that way I finally can put words on it, thank you!
anything you desire - you deserve✨✨
I noticed my self sabotage a long time ago and I just let it take over. Like I’ve been wanting to quit playing video games because it doesn’t do anything for me as far as starting my business, learning new things and growing but I end up playing anyway, until today. It was totally uncomfortable to not play but I knew it was good for me not to. I’m also so nervous and scared to start my business because I don’t know the first thing on how to to start, but I know we have so much information at our fingertips, all I have to do is just research and do.
Self Awareness Unlocked
I started a business online and made about $1000 US in a week. After this product stopped selling as well (seasonal), I still continued to pour money into Advertising even when I saw no results.
I ended up losing money in the end due to this, and haven't touched anything in relation to this in 3 weeks.
I am trying to get to the root feeling of this (other than my knowledge of my fear of failure) and this video really helped. I think I'll make a To-Do List and slowly go at it. Thank you!!!
I've felt an immense amount of pressure. I have so many goals that I'd love to work forward to, I've spent more time about thinking if they are wrong or right than ACTUALLY DOING IT.
I'm now going all in, I'm holding myself back. I'm deciding to do my best every day outside of the comfort zone. I'm not afraid, I deserve all the happiness, success, and abundance. I'm worthy. I may not believe it 100% at this moment, but I WILL!
Just do your best 💕
Thank you so much for this video!
The way I held myself back once was when I thought that I don't deserve love and relationship and I was so scared to reach out to my crush (I know, it's silly example) but then I did it anyway, I believed that I need and deserve a relationship and it turned out really well - our relationship is growing now and I feel so much more loved and worthy. But still, I have some limiting beliefs in other areas of my life - for example when it comes to my self confidence or my goals, I often doubt myself but I'm trying to fight with this and your video is really helpful, so thank you again for making it