3 UPDATES: Husband, Who Refused To Ever Take Me To The Annual Family Trip Suddenly Wants Me To Come
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: Husband, Who Refused To Ever Take Me To The Annual Family Trip Suddenly Wants Me To Come So I Book A Ticket To See What's The Deal About Only To Find Out That I Was Only Invited As A Free Nanny And A Cook.. Oh Boy, They Never Saw THIS Coming on Their Flight Back Home
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This is my first time posting here on Reddit so please go easy, in case there are any errors in formatting or typos. I (29f) have been with my husband Ryan (33m) for four years, married for two. And everything’s always been great between us except for one thing, he never ever takes me with him on his annual family trips. That’s literally ever been. It has been the only bone of contention between the two of us and I have never been able to figure out why he would do such a thing. For the first year that we were dating, he told us that his family takes an annual vacation every year and they get away for a couple of days.
Why would anyone stay married to a man who refused to take her to family events?
He isolated her from her friends and that probably made her more dependent on him and put her on a pedestal. That doesn't go well for either the woman or the man in the long run and obviously leads to divorce.
@@shanewoody4232 It never says he did that.
@@sarahirwin1769 she straight up said he pushed her away from her friends, saying they were "manipulative."
@@sarahirwin1769read between the lines.
It's obvious.
I would have booked the same week somewhere l had always wanted to go, a luxury hotel, a spa, a cruise, all sorts of ideas! Let the husband have his family trip, l would have an adventure! LOL
As long as hubby pays for it all then hell yeah, that's fair
There's no way ex-hubby(being so close to his family) had "no idea!" about the plan. You marry into a new family, and OP's STBX and his family are AHs.
OP - that hisband of yours has already showed you who he is many times over. Do yourself a big favor and BELIEVE HIM.
Never go where you're not wanted.
Never go where you're unappreciated
Never beg to be in the same space with people who disrespect, belittle & use you.
Never marry someone who would not 'let' you go on a family trip. Most husbands would say she is my family. If she isn't welcome, then neither am I. So first problem is marrying a jackass like that.
This should already have ended after they married, yet she was not invited to gathering. Should have walked out after that.
No shit.
If it was explained to me that none of the other spouses didn't go either, I'd have been OK, but since that clearly wasn't the case, I'd have been pissed - doubly pissed when I found out I was tricked/drafted into bieng their families nanny. My ass would've been gone within the first year.
@@ravenfox926 It is not even OK if none of the other spouses were invited.
@@saran.4001 true, but at least it would be equal treatment, even if it was crappy. I wouldn't like it and would've hung out with the other spouses - maybe we'd go somewhere ourselves and start our OWN tradition and leave them out!
Are people really this desperate yo belong? Oh my! I am shocked and amazed that OP has so little pride or self-respect. Who begs people to like them? I hope this is just a story, not actually someone's life experience.
Want me to nanny? That'll be $1000/day, cash upfront. Cooking is $1000/day, cash upfront. Don't want to pay? I walk asap.
Should have done that on my lazy sister who refused to come home every once in awhile with her son for 11 weeks she only visited twice just because her stupid husband he put himself in the hospital was "dying" she was just using it her and her in laws to be lazy kid is literally autistic wasn't even house broke me and brother fixed that week 6-7 at 8 freaking years old and i who hate kids was the forced main sitter with brother secondary since I didn't work at the time and my brother had to do it on his days off our idiot mother who did tej arrangement without asking us if we could handle it was working three jobs she was a caregiver for elderly ppl worked day and night my aunt in the end had to end up taking him when he wasn't in school till supper because I literally had a breakdown and he learned why I hate kids short temper and with him around i was stressed as I was going through a tough time so honestly I shouldn't have been the sitter and told everyone multiple times that kid should not have been left with me at all no it wasn't physical but it was borderline abuse I can stand normal kids for a time but autistic no my temper has calmed down since then AND THE WITCH STILL REFUSED TO COME HOME TILL 2 WEEKS AFTER MOM FOUND OUT SHE HAD CANCER OR THEY WOULD HAVE STAYED AWAY LONGER because I told her I couldn't handle her and the brat mom finally had enough and forced all four lazy bums back to get him if it wasn't for mom we wouldn't have had him that long and his mother or his other grandparents could have taken him off our hands for awhile and been with him left up to me I would have charged unless she came home when the brat was home
Yup and then charge hubby for all the meals you've served him over the past couple of years you've been together and then divorce!!!.
He was gone for a week on his family only trip. If it was me by the time he got home, I would move out and send him divorce papers. Being extra nice to people who treat you like shit is paving the way to abuse… if his family only does not include his wife, she isn’t family to him but convenience with benefits.
I wish I could upvote this more because I would have been long gone when he returned the first time he would've found divorce papers and the rings back too.
9:40 If he were a decent husband, he would've refused to go on the trip with them if she wasn't invited.
Exactly cuz she mentions the brother-in-law is in the apology video so other in-laws have been incorporated into the family. They're really just picking on her.
This is when you sell everything that isn’t nailed down while he’s gone and dip out
Works for me! I can't abide two-faced people.
Respect yourself. Time to make changes. He either stands up for you or you go your way.
Something that they slipped in super quick that slipped everyone's notice. EVEN THE NANNY got an invite, but she didn't.
I noticed
INot being invited to a "Family trip" is enough of a reason to divorce as if marriage does not make her family, then clearly she needed to leave and move on.
Op was a doormat!! Good thing she realized it now!
If I am unwanted, it is my job to be unavailable. He would come home to a sleek, polished, serene, woman purring with contentment. And, be VAGUE about the fun you had and where you had it. Secret, purring smiles will help with this. (Have iron clad receipts, though, to prove that you weren't cheating. Just keep them securely secret from him until they are needed. They will be needed. Obviously, this marriage is destined for divorce, so the receipts are for negotiation.)
There’s literally nothing to explain. He allowed his family to abuse you and chose to do nothing about it. He’s a spineless coward who doesn’t deserve your time.
Ryan called her petty? Well…he and his family are just as petty for treating OP like an outsider
I would never be married to someone who's family treats me bad or hurts my feelings.
This story screams "Doormat"
You decided the wronged party was the one who deserved to be insulted lol?! People make bad choices- it doesn't make it ok to treat them like crap.
@@azuredystopia3751she can be the wronged party and still be a doormat
Ryan doesn't want you to go ever! He's just blaming it on his parents and gaslighting you. He's hooking up on these trips and you there would squash that. BIL gets to go too. Wow, yeah you aren't family period. They could have hired locals to wait on them. Run. He's the manipulative one and was isolating you.
If he was any husband at all he would not go on these vacations with his family.
When OP started to describe the desolate location of the house, I was thinking horror movie.
Holy crap, what a horrible toxic family and an even worse excuse for a husband.
This is not a nice family. They are pretty diabolical.
Yeah, no they have ulterior motives. People don’t change that fast. They want something.
OP, at this point you should be your husband's family and number on priority above his parents. You are not ever going to be considered family to these toxic people, and the fact that your husband would choose to go with them on a family vacation and leave you behind should tell you all you need to know about how he really feels about you. I have been in your position and I will assure you that you are wasting your time thinking his family will ever come around, and if he goes on a family vacation you are not invited to you don't need advice, you need a divorce and need to go find a man who loves you and puts you first.
Oh honey I am so proud of you. The idea that you were only included because there was no Nanny, maid or cook is just beyond shitty. You are so much better off out of this trash family. Ryan is the one who never really loved you, and him pulling the stunt about if you don't come back I will know you don't love me was total BS and just so wrong on so many levels. He didn't love you enough to have you come with him on vacation. He didn't love you enough to insist on including you on vacation, and he did not love you enough to refuse to go on vacation. He was 100% aware of why his parents called you up with an invite, and he was probably even the one who suggested you. He already knew you could cook and clean, and he probably thought you were so in love with him and so love starved to be a part of the family that you would willingly be the maid, the cook and the babysitter because after all they were rich and all and you were the poor nothing he pickup off of the street and married. He was like the prince charming who found Cinderella and decided to marry her and put her to work for his family as their house staff because after all, you are technically his wife and you should be thrilled that he is letting you wash the clothes, cook the food and serve the Royals. I am so glad you figured that shit out real quick and made your escape. I am also glad you didn't have children with that POS and his family. He will now no doubt marry some girl that the family believe is more fitting of the social economic class.
When your boyfriend/spouse wants you to go NC with your friend/family (support system), that's a huge red flag. That means he's controlling and wants you isolated so you depend only on him. Not having a support system makes it much harder to escape the abusive relationship, and it will be abusive in one way or another. Good on OP's friends for being there for her and with her and for their sound advice.
An annual family holiday for a couple of days,,? There's really not much you can do in two days. I'd just stay home and avoid the drama.
I would’ve gone on my own trip with friends and not come back for like three weeks. That is unacceptable behavior from Opie’s husband and his family.
I think you should reconsider your husband and why he would allow his family to exclude you until he wants a nanny and maid I reconsider if he respects you,I think that I would tell him you need to consider staying in this marriage
The fact his family thought this was okay I don't think you continue to allow his disrespect you are his wife not the maid and nanny are you going to remain married to this selfish inconsiderate man and I would start considering taking a holiday with friends when he's on holiday with his family
Do not allow this to occur again you are not a lower life form you where good enough to marry but not be treated with respect
No. She needs to divorce his a$$. Let his next wife deal with him and his precious "family "
The whole family are nuts. Get away from them.
Good grief no way I would not tolerate all that bs divorce the crappy husband and trash his family stand strong stop being a doormat Op
Lol people pleaser, another word for doormat 😂
You wanted it you got it😅
I blame the husband. He should have just planned a trip with her instead.
Show him the door and tell him to take his family with him
Why put yourself through this? You could have a whole vacation by yourself. You need to have your own vacation from this family
They flew Opie down to be the maid in the nanny😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Don't forget how he treated you leave
OP How long do they have to know her to be polite and invite her to the family trip and not just for a maid and cook?
OP, you will NEVER be a part of thier family , if you have kids they will be the parents not you
Save you money take a better trip than them send them pictures and divorce papers
First of all, OP, it is quite normal for someone who has been unlucky with their own family, as you have, to try really hard to be liked by their inlaws, as a substitute for the relationships and security which they have not had themselves. You had no example of a normal family dynamic to learn from to know how much contact with the inlaws would be usual. However, your inlaws do seem particularly stand offish with you when they could have been a lot more welcoming and respectful. You have to have a certain amount of humility to be able to be generous with other people and, it seems, these people are completely devoid of the necessary humanity to accomplish that. Their holiday was planned well ahead and there is no way they would have booked to stay somewhere where they were not going to be waited on and catered to. Their plan was to make you feel as though they viewed you as 'servant class' and you were right to treat this disrespect with the disdain it deserved. Your husband did not treat you with the respect owing to a spouse. Not only did he not 'have your back' with his family's disrespectful treatment of you but in not standing up for you, he, effectively, concurred with the message they were sending. As he is so attached to his family and their entitled behaviour, there would be ongoing problems while you stayed with him and you may feel, as you did, that there was not enough in the relationship for you to want to stay. One slight consideration. Your husband said your friends are manipulative. Is it possible that they are and are exerting undue influence on your decision about your marriage without your being aware, being a self confessed 'people pleaser'?
It is pretty damned common knowledge that one of the first things an abuser does to control their victim is to separate their victim from friends and family and any other kind of social support. Him telling her to end her friendships like that was not a red flag it was a PURPLE FLAG and she was a fool to go any further with the relationship after that.
If family traditions cannot expand to include everyone including people who marry into the family, that should be enough of a red flag for anyone. Unless I have the potential to destroy your marriage, this is why really getting to know somebody and their family is imperative before you commit to spending the rest of your life with them
You are not the bad guy they are, no one should marry OP ex because his family is always gonna come first.
That, put in his card and then divorce
The first year this happened and husband didn't have a legit excuse should have shown OP that this was not the man or the family for them. They should have packed their bags and moved out then and saved herself the prolonged heartache she's put herself through. Honestly, this whole family is disgusting and i can't understand why the BIL is still with his wife. I he's getting some on the side or something because there isn't any way I can see being attached to this family as worth it. Bunch of vapid evil little trolls.
Obviously YOU ARE NOT FAMILY even though you are married. If your "husband" did not want you to go, it is because your own husband does not consider you family. You are only friends with benefits. If he really loved you, he would NOT go on a "family vacation" without you.
You are trying way too hard to fit in and to be accepted. These people have made it abundantly clear they don’t want a close relationship with you. Furthermore you have a husband problem, you knew all this before you married him, he is willing to go on vacation every year without you. Have some self worth, self respect, walk away . How would they treat your children if you have any , like second class citizens ?
It’s all right to disrespect your parents when they disrespect your wife or husband or even your kids.
What kind of man marries someone and does not consider her part of the family.
Never allow the family you come from destroy the family that comes from you.
How they going to get to know her if they don't invite her to social events?
I would not be going without my wife.
He wouldn’t be going without me , that’s just rude.
He’s not considerate to your feelings, it won’t work if you’re feeling so left out and abandoned. When he goes on his trips, plan for your own with some friends but again if you stay you’ll just feel resentful and uncomfortable.
If they needed space from their daughter-in-law, who is trying to get closer, they should’ve said something and not waited this long Opie you deserve a better husband and the family that will except you you should’ve been excepted by now
Plenty of holes in this tale - I think the author should brush-up on her proofreading & continuity.
RED FLAG, RED FLAG, RED FLAG, RED FLAG!!!
Thanks!
Why didn’t they hire a person to come in and do these things for them at the Airbnb, Including babysitting jobs?
I am glad you found this out about this family.
Go back home. Pack up your important papers and clothing and hire a lawyer.
Get away from such toxic people.
Never trust any of them again. Why spend 1 more additional moment on vacation with them?
Don’t let husband manipulate you ever again. Make him speak only to your lawyer.
Op should have left Ryan a long time ago because he and his family clearly doesn’t care about her but at least op finally saw the light and gain some self respect for herself
Op seems like she can’t read the room she sounds like she might be pushy but not realize it, some people just don’t click, she needs to divorce because you marry a family not just your spouse.
This is a really discouraging story.
Did they take trips. Why did not OP take her own trips with friends and leave his ass at home
That whole family is ENTITLED af
Op sounds ridiculous begging for acceptance smh grow a backbone
This story made me laugh 😅,
They act like this family trip is some huge major deal and they all have to be “comfortable with” her in order for her to go. That’s crap. Unless they roughing it and camping or something then OP would be in a hotel room with her husband, not the entire family; what’s there to be “uncomfortable” about? This makes zero sense.
He can't see his fault because it was his first marriage. Let's see after his next wife leave him again😅
Crazy, I would have just taken separate vacations at this point. Then to be added to the vacation to be a maid ans nanny.
Someone should only have to show you once that they don’t like you. You need to leave this relationship
OP was too much of a push over and people pleaser...
Yeeeeah nahh, I'm an only child who has always longed for a big family but I don't stay where I'm not wanted- if even my man doesn't have my back then that shows that he's not my man...I'm gone *this lady had good friends, best to leave before there were any kids
I.....think this might be written by AI? They've been doing that on Reddit lately, to fuel articles that highlight stories. There's just some stuff that's worded weird and some story parts that don't make sense.
You're either part of the family or you aren't. When pigs fly, would i ever accept not being invited on a family vacation. You're married & still not allowed to go speaks volumes. I'd be divorcing that hubby whom doesn't stand up for you & include you. If my family didn't invite my husband, I wouldn't go either. Even the nanny was allowed to go but not OP??? NO & NO.
This is 4 years dating and married for 2 years and they still not comfortable. That's bull. Her husband doesn't love her. Is this an interracial relationship?
Op you need to take your vacation by yourself when he comes home and let him stayby himself.
I don’t understand why the word “even” is so overused in these stories. It distracts. Husband has no spine. He is a mama s boy
Wouldn't it be funny if it's the husband & not the family that needed the break
Go on your own vacation but it's not likely his family but him
Passive-aggressive b.s.
I would have spied on him/them on this mysterious trip. Sounds fishy to me.
So ops own parents want nothing to do with her and the in laws made it clear they dont like it when shes around. The common denominator here is op.
Sometimes as you do not heal from divorce you people please, but not just OP fault
Can't believe stories like this. You have no self respect or this story is bs.
Got to love a pathetic OP.
This story is effed up! They had her fly to them to be their free housekeeper/maid/nanny for their useless butts!? Im glad OP wasn't a doormat to these fools.
It’s her fault he only did what she allowed
It's HIS fault, stop victim blaming POS.
Story is full of blah blah blah, and very little details of the plot itself, also the story ends abruptly with no proper resolution. Probably the author was in rush to use the restroom.
Too many ads!
Is op a different ethnicity? Because this sounds like some old school bullshit.
Wanna bet is chinese?
Yo
🤗👍
I'd never BEG for love.
If they needed space from their daughter-in-law, who is trying to get closer, they should’ve said something and not waited this long Opie you deserve a better husband and the family that will except you you should’ve been excepted by now