Sometimes you can learn by teaching or training. By doing that, you learn how to do it better, and in the process maybe you re-learned something you may have forgotten.
Spot on! Listening goes way beyond just hearing words; it's about creating that safe space for genuine understanding. I’ve often noticed how replacing judgment with curiosity can transform conversations. In my experience, when we allow someone to "empty the bucket," it paves the way for real dialogue. It's amazing how humor can also bridge gaps in understanding, much like the insights from the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x. If we focus on truly listening and connecting, we can break down barriers, no matter how extreme the situation may seem. Keep honing those listening skills; they’re invaluable!
Absolutely Simon. Valuing a person is ensuring they feel heard, seen, supported, connected and rewarded. From the thousands we've surveyed in workplaces they are desired in that order. Ironically, workplaces offer them in the opposite order.
- Listening is more than just hearing words; it's about understanding the meaning behind them. - The art of listening involves creating an environment where the other person feels heard and understood emotionally. - It requires replacing judgment with curiosity and providing a safe space for someone to express themselves without judgment. - Effective listening involves asking open-ended questions like "Tell me more" and giving the other person space to share their thoughts. - Listening is a crucial skill for building trust, finding common ground, and resolving conflicts, even in extreme situations like peace negotiations or discussions with extreme ideological differences.
@Eduardo Andrés Chavarría Rey if you are treated poorly it will ultimately shape your human perception. That's why you have repeat offenders who keep going back to prison. They can't see the incentive in changing their behavior since they are stuck in misery no matter what. You tell a guy like that to adjust their sails and see for yourself what type of reaction you'd get.
@@Anoalekontrieger when the color of your skin gives you more access into resources and more special treatment by Nazi Jews and white supremacist idiots the world becomes severely imbalanced with unjustified hunger.
I’m listening to this so that my wife would be less frustrated with me at times. 😜 To truly listen to someone consistently is a learned skill. great video. Thanks.
If you enjoy this I think you would enjoy Criss Voss book on Negotiation is call never split the difference. Criss talk about tactical empathy skills and the remarkable power of Active Listening
Reminds me of nonviolent communication. There are plenty of resources in "emptying the bucket" and listening to what not just the words being used are, but the full meaning of what is going on through their perspective.
Listening is the key to a healthy life. This process varies because some humans have been talking over others for far too long, while some other humans need encouragement to listen to their beautiful inner voice and speak ❤️
*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."* The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤
I just wanted to add - and this isn't a rebuke or refutation but a recognition - that it's so hard to keep doing this over a longer time period (iterative, long term relationships) if the other person never reciprocates. The solution for me - frame it as work, as a moral good, as something worth doing *because it's the right thing to do* not because it's going to benefit me in any way.
"We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know."- Carl Rogers
"I can hear you but I won't Some look for trouble While others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers Which I wish would go away" - Idina Menzel
Thanks man. 1. Replace judgement with curiosity 2. Give them a safe space and make them feel heard I feel like I don't give people safe space a lot of the times. A friend, for example, has different views than me regarding marriage. So every time the topic of marriage is surfaced I just downright start bashing it. What I should do is ask her questions like, why does she think it's good institution etc. Secondly my brother, a lot of the times, he gives me safe space to talk about my values. But it is on the expense of his own safe space because my values are sometimes against his values. Thanks for the video man you're probably one of the extremely rare people in your industry that I listen to.
When we explore the “why” behind our need to judge… it can help. Determine what your are defending, what feels threatened. The more we can zoom out, see that others experience is valid for them, and the more self-assured (not self righteous though!) we become, the less we are compelled to engage in defensive posturing and judgment. The more dogmatic we are, the less psychologically flexible. It makes connection extremely difficult. Not everything is either/or, right/wrong, win/lose…that kind of thinking can ruin ability to listen deeply. It’s a competitive mindset vs cooperative, connective, or collaborative. We humans have many cognitive distortions, biases, and narratives (usually formed through conditioning early in childhood and then continuing through schooling, society, media, religion etc) that distort our perspectives. We often just blindly believe our way is “right”. Deep introspection and metacognition can allow for ability to dive deep and examine those beliefs. It can be a bit scary for some, but freeing too! I applaud you for being honest and realizing you don’t give people safe space. That has been the number 1 reason I’ve withdrawn from friendships and romantic relationships. Not feeling accepted (heard, seen and understood), but instead that I needed to modify to make the other person comfortable with a version of me that would be false. When we deny aspects of someone’s reality…it doesn’t go away, it just often goes underground & they don’t feel safe to share anymore. I wish you well. 💫
Thank you. Thank you and I thank my wife (Light of my day), my little lovely Ava (Joy of my heart) my friends and family and Simon - which in Hebrew means “The one, who understands” (I believe)
From listening to respond to listening to understand is progress 👍 And once we understand we can take it far beyond by listening to appreciate 🥰 Because that’s when we truly feel heard and seen and can then unleash all our superpowers together 🤙
I swear you speak right into my life, there are so many occasions that I find myself having a perspective and then I see you speaking on that perspective soo eloquently 🤩 you are my mentor 🤓
OMG!!! My on only struggle with a lot of people! I am always posting on social media “The Art of Listening” That’s it “I want to Feel Heard” Thank you Simon Sinek 🙏 Love it! ❤️
As i listen to this and read the comments i realise that bro i talk too much. I always want to feel heard which makes me draw the conclusion that im actually alot more immature than i thought. It's good soul food. I actually really appreciate this. Now its for me to learn
Incredible person reading this, go after what it is that you want in life! Learn the skills, do whatever it takes! You are capable of anything! I believe in you! ✨ Love - Nat ❤️
I just wanted to remind you of the importance of active listening. The art of listening involves more than just hearing words; it's about fully engaging with the person speaking and being present in the moment. By truly listening, you can build stronger connections with those around you and gain a deeper understanding of their perspectives. So, next time you're in a conversation, try to listen with intention and without judgment. It can make all the difference.
I actually don't like the term 'active' listening because it implies you need to DO something, while listening is a passive act. Apart from encouraging the other, you don't do anything. This is why I've come up with the term 'Receptive Listening'. Sounds good to you too?
Awesome!! Many of us face another block : stop listening very easily and keep your mind articulating the “proper” answer to what you think you heard .. that is really nonsense
“As a patient i should not be required to help my care aids or counterparts learn to listen to my needs, nor should I be required to help them feel heard. - Martin Brousseau”
Many people around never seem to have an ending to their bucket. They just keep emptying for hours on end. Try 30 years of marriage with someone with verbal diarrhea (I apologize for the graphic word). I am on a quest to discover, "Who listens to the great listener?" because we all have the need to be heard. Thank you Simon
How do you truly listen? 1. You listen to what someone is saying, i.e. their voice, their words, the data. 2. You observe how they're saying it, i.e. their expressions/body language and emotions to reveal "the why" behind them saying it. Let me ask again. How do you truly listen? Listen Observe Voice Expressions Love. The foundation of listening, truly listening, is an act of love. 👍
I would like to link this into social media messaging as it's becoming like the new form of speaking. People spend a lot of much time tapping, but then regret what their fast reply was. Mainly because they didn't take their time to think and read. That's why what's app brought out disappearing messages. Maybe you could do a podcast on this
Empathy gives both parties the feeling of comfort. Misunderstanding are often cause of conflict. Hence, listening and understanding with an open mind will provide an insight of genuine understanding. If you read this, i hope there is someone who can listen to you. I hope you feel heard and appreciated.
I have always tried to listen without judging, but people is afraid that I will and at the same time they want someone who does not judge them. Only thing that I can do is to remind that I will not judge.
Validation is how you show that you aren’t judging. Then if you do that enough, they know you are safe and won’t judge. Learning the skill of validation, and implementing it, shows a person non-judgment.
Like the fish with water, we take listening and speaking for granted. It's time to change that - to bring listening and speaking to the forefront of educators' minds and to purposefully teach the listening and speaking skills that are the foundation of so much of human interaction. Erik Palmer
Our VP should watch this so she can behave herself when others talk. She is so rude and doesn’t care and respect others when they talk, just cutoff in the middle no matter what the business topic the talker was doing, she has to be heard any seconds without letting others finishing!
"I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening." - Larry King
Great quote, not so great individual
Well you also have to ask, at times. Try avoiding extreme unidirectional analogies. Balance is the key.
beautiful words
Sometimes you can learn by teaching or training. By doing that, you learn how to do it better, and in the process maybe you re-learned something you may have forgotten.
Triple underline, buddy. Best from Croatia, Lucy and Jack
No one cares how much you know until the know how much you care and no better way to show you really care by listening.
When we talk, we only say what we already know. But when we listen, we learn new things we don't know before. 💪
Word.!
Well said
Craziness. You listen sb then start Talking .
“Replace judgment with curiosity"
huge one!
Most. Important thing I heard today.
I need this printed on a shirt.
Short.
Snappy.
Perfect.
Spot on! Listening goes way beyond just hearing words; it's about creating that safe space for genuine understanding. I’ve often noticed how replacing judgment with curiosity can transform conversations.
In my experience, when we allow someone to "empty the bucket," it paves the way for real dialogue. It's amazing how humor can also bridge gaps in understanding, much like the insights from the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x. If we focus on truly listening and connecting, we can break down barriers, no matter how extreme the situation may seem. Keep honing those listening skills; they’re invaluable!
Reminds me of this analogy. When two surfaces rub against each other, it just take one of them to be smooth to make the contact a frictionless one.
Absolutely Simon.
Valuing a person is ensuring they feel heard, seen, supported, connected and rewarded. From the thousands we've surveyed in workplaces they are desired in that order. Ironically, workplaces offer them in the opposite order.
- Listening is more than just hearing words; it's about understanding the meaning behind them.
- The art of listening involves creating an environment where the other person feels heard and understood emotionally.
- It requires replacing judgment with curiosity and providing a safe space for someone to express themselves without judgment.
- Effective listening involves asking open-ended questions like "Tell me more" and giving the other person space to share their thoughts.
- Listening is a crucial skill for building trust, finding common ground, and resolving conflicts, even in extreme situations like peace negotiations or discussions with extreme ideological differences.
This video Just changed my life forever.
*"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." - Marcus Aurelius*
Sounds like a privileged person to begin with. For some people being alive is a heavy burden.
@Eduardo Andrés Chavarría Rey if you are treated poorly it will ultimately shape your human perception. That's why you have repeat offenders who keep going back to prison. They can't see the incentive in changing their behavior since they are stuck in misery no matter what. You tell a guy like that to adjust their sails and see for yourself what type of reaction you'd get.
@@Comrade134 but when is someone privileged? It's all relative until you put things in perspective.
@@Anoalekontrieger when the color of your skin gives you more access into resources and more special treatment by Nazi Jews and white supremacist idiots the world becomes severely imbalanced with unjustified hunger.
It depends. If it’s proper living, yes. If it’s just surviving, it’s not (good) enough.
How perfectly timed this message is for the fall of 2021. Brilliant.
I’m listening to this so that my wife would be less frustrated with me at times. 😜 To truly listen to someone consistently is a learned skill. great video. Thanks.
If you enjoy this I think you would enjoy Criss Voss book on Negotiation is call never split the difference. Criss talk about tactical empathy skills and the remarkable power of Active Listening
@@skionen1781 thanks. Just ordered it.
Me too Doc. Lol
@@skionen1781 btw, great read. Thanks for the recommendation.
Me too.
I love great minds
My girlfriend always mentions how I'm likeable and sociable and I'm like, no, I just listen. People just want to be heard.
Reminds me of nonviolent communication. There are plenty of resources in "emptying the bucket" and listening to what not just the words being used are, but the full meaning of what is going on through their perspective.
This guy is BRILLIANT AF!!!! WTH, does he has any flaws??? He got the looks, the charisma and knowledge...
Listening is the key to a healthy life. This process varies because some humans have been talking over others for far too long, while some other humans need encouragement to listen to their beautiful inner voice and speak ❤️
this bucket-emptying anecdote is fly AF and this message is transcendental
*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."*
The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤
Thanks, you too!
💕
YOU LISTEN
YOU SEE
YOU FEEL
THIS IS A POWERFUL EFFECT.
NOT EVERYONE LISTENS
NOT EVERYONE SEES
NOT EVERYONE FEELS.
IT'S EITHER ALL OR ONE OR OTHER.
I have heard it said we should listen at least twice as much as we speak.
Indeed, we were born with two ears and one voice box for a good reason!
I just wanted to add - and this isn't a rebuke or refutation but a recognition - that it's so hard to keep doing this over a longer time period (iterative, long term relationships) if the other person never reciprocates. The solution for me - frame it as work, as a moral good, as something worth doing *because it's the right thing to do* not because it's going to benefit me in any way.
amen. And it's also important to tend to your own needs to be heard at times, even if it's by your own self
"We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know."- Carl Rogers
What a remarkable example. I’ve never heard of this woman, thank you.
"I can hear you but I won't
Some look for trouble
While others don't
There's a thousand reasons
I should go about my day
And ignore your whispers
Which I wish would go away" - Idina Menzel
All dreamers out there this is temporary situation it will pass don't lose hope keep going you are on the way to success don't give up 💪 ✊ ✊ 💪
Be mature enough to accept failure and rejection ✊ ✊ 💪 💪 ✊
Being intentionally silent is often times better than tugging the conversation towards yourself and yourself only.
Great insight! Simon
It recalls me one sentence back in my Microsoft times: Agressivelly listen to customers.:)))
Thanks man.
1. Replace judgement with curiosity
2. Give them a safe space and make them feel heard
I feel like I don't give people safe space a lot of the times. A friend, for example, has different views than me regarding marriage. So every time the topic of marriage is surfaced I just downright start bashing it. What I should do is ask her questions like, why does she think it's good institution etc.
Secondly my brother, a lot of the times, he gives me safe space to talk about my values. But it is on the expense of his own safe space because my values are sometimes against his values.
Thanks for the video man you're probably one of the extremely rare people in your industry that I listen to.
When we explore the “why” behind our need to judge… it can help. Determine what your are defending, what feels threatened. The more we can zoom out, see that others experience is valid for them, and the more self-assured (not self righteous though!) we become, the less we are compelled to engage in defensive posturing and judgment. The more dogmatic we are, the less psychologically flexible. It makes connection extremely difficult.
Not everything is either/or, right/wrong, win/lose…that kind of thinking can ruin ability to listen deeply. It’s a competitive mindset vs cooperative, connective, or collaborative.
We humans have many cognitive distortions, biases, and narratives (usually formed through conditioning early in childhood and then continuing through schooling, society, media, religion etc) that distort our perspectives. We often just blindly believe our way is “right”. Deep introspection and metacognition can allow for ability to dive deep and examine those beliefs. It can be a bit scary for some, but freeing too!
I applaud you for being honest and realizing you don’t give people safe space. That has been the number 1 reason I’ve withdrawn from friendships and romantic relationships. Not feeling accepted (heard, seen and understood), but instead that I needed to modify to make the other person comfortable with a version of me that would be false. When we deny aspects of someone’s reality…it doesn’t go away, it just often goes underground & they don’t feel safe to share anymore.
I wish you well. 💫
As long as a word remains unspoken, you are its master; once you utter it, you are its slave
I had to listen to this 3 times and it reminded me of something I read in February about the difference between listening and hearing. Interesting
Thank you. Thank you and I thank my wife (Light of my day), my little lovely Ava (Joy of my heart) my friends and family and Simon - which in Hebrew means “The one, who understands” (I believe)
It works when one of the parts learn it! That was great
Simon Sinek...Man, your definitions of simple things ..Mindblowing..like here listening...is the art...what I got
From listening to respond to listening to understand is progress 👍
And once we understand we can take it far beyond by listening to appreciate 🥰
Because that’s when we truly feel heard and seen and can then unleash all our superpowers together 🤙
I swear you speak right into my life, there are so many occasions that I find myself having a perspective and then I see you speaking on that perspective soo eloquently 🤩 you are my mentor 🤓
This video needs so many more views. Replacing judgement with curiosity is something that I’m going to have to always remember.
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
Ooo those are good! I’m writing that down!
OMG!!! My on only struggle with a lot of people! I am always posting on social media “The Art of Listening” That’s it “I want to Feel Heard” Thank you Simon Sinek 🙏 Love it! ❤️
As i listen to this and read the comments i realise that bro i talk too much. I always want to feel heard which makes me draw the conclusion that im actually alot more immature than i thought. It's good soul food. I actually really appreciate this. Now its for me to learn
True, I am learning this.
This man is a present on earth
I have to say. I didn't know I needed to hear this, until I heard it. This is such a undervalued skill for people to have. Great video Simon!
Such a great reminder especially at the time we are living now.
Possibly the most useful TH-cam I have ever listened to! 4 times.
Incredible person reading this, go after what it is that you want in life! Learn the skills, do whatever it takes! You are capable of anything! I believe in you! ✨
Love - Nat ❤️
Thank you Nat! That helps ☺️
Thanks Nat. Would love more of this from you.
Such a kind thing to say. Right back at you!!
@@keinestrella thank you for reading it Kein, you’re the best! ☺️
@@Sitvhomes thank you friend, absolutely! ⭐️
Appreciate the insight. People like being heard and in turn will listen to you which is mutually satisfying experience
I'VE MASTERED THE ART OF LISTENING. I'M FINE. THANK YOU! KERIM T.🙂✌
Listen until you understand!
Listening very important part in our life
" you makes someone feel heard, they will trust you". 🥰🥰🥰
No, not really. The most untrustworthy persons are the most effective listeners.
I identify with what you're saying 1000000% 👏👏👏 I am going to practise what you're saying, it won't be easy. Thank you so much for posting this 🤗
Thank you! Love the way you speak, that was great
We have two ears and one month for a reason. Listen at least two times more than you speak.
I like this!
I just wanted to remind you of the importance of active listening. The art of listening involves more than just hearing words; it's about fully engaging with the person speaking and being present in the moment. By truly listening, you can build stronger connections with those around you and gain a deeper understanding of their perspectives. So, next time you're in a conversation, try to listen with intention and without judgment. It can make all the difference.
I actually don't like the term 'active' listening because it implies you need to DO something, while listening is a passive act. Apart from encouraging the other, you don't do anything. This is why I've come up with the term 'Receptive Listening'. Sounds good to you too?
“Listen with intention”…I absolutely love this!! ❤
For a good and healthy conversation, it's very important to be a patient listener.
Got goosebumps between 4:25 - 4:40. That was awesome.
Awesome!! Many of us face another block : stop listening very easily and keep your mind articulating the “proper” answer to what you think you heard .. that is really nonsense
“As a patient i should not be required to help my care aids or counterparts learn to listen to my needs, nor should I be required to help them feel heard. - Martin Brousseau”
E você domina bem essa arte Simon! :)
Gratidão por compartilhar conosco. :)
Many people around never seem to have an ending to their bucket. They just keep emptying for hours on end. Try 30 years of marriage with someone with verbal diarrhea (I apologize for the graphic word). I am on a quest to discover, "Who listens to the great listener?" because we all have the need to be heard. Thank you Simon
Brilliant! Amazingly timely and on point. I am learning... Right medium, right message, right time. Love & Light 😘
Punjab needs you sir. we are calling you in punjab.
How do you truly listen?
1. You listen to what someone is saying, i.e. their voice, their words, the data.
2. You observe how they're saying it, i.e. their expressions/body language and emotions to reveal "the why" behind them saying it.
Let me ask again.
How do you truly listen?
Listen
Observe
Voice
Expressions
Love.
The foundation of listening, truly listening, is an act of love. 👍
What a great conclusion and connection you’ve done. A masterpiece! Thanks for sharing!
@@ElTigreFIME Thanks boss!
*"Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul." - Democritus*
Brilliant I can so need to get better at listening Simon
I would like to link this into social media messaging as it's becoming like the new form of speaking. People spend a lot of much time tapping, but then regret what their fast reply was. Mainly because they didn't take their time to think and read. That's why what's app brought out disappearing messages. Maybe you could do a podcast on this
Amazing and true. Thank you so much again for inspiration. Huge blessings from Croatia, Lucy and Jack
Brilliant super power. Thank you for sharing. Makes complete sense. IF that technique doesn’t work then likely nothing will. Haha.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I will in turn share it with others. Create a Magical Day!
Art needs effort and listening is indeed art. Get into it... 🙏. ♥
Good Listener always be a Good Speaker
Great point. THANKS
I totally agree with this one. 👏🤜🤛
This is very well said. Wish more people would listen (sic) to this video.
So wonderful to be able to hear this 😉. I'm listening
Empathy gives both parties the feeling of comfort. Misunderstanding are often cause of conflict. Hence, listening and understanding with an open mind will provide an insight of genuine understanding. If you read this, i hope there is someone who can listen to you. I hope you feel heard and appreciated.
Thank you. I don't have anyone that would listen to me.
@@antonida1143 I'm there for you incase you want some good company.
@@antonida1143 you need to evaluate your own assumptions. Perhaps your company is just as toxic as the assholes I've left behind.
@@antonida1143 I did go to the doctor but I found a robot instead. Their hands were tied up by the system so they couldn't really help me.
Listen and understand.
Totalmente de acuerdo contigo. El arte de escuchar es poco practicado.
What a powerful messages
I have always tried to listen without judging, but people is afraid that I will and at the same time they want someone who does not judge them. Only thing that I can do is to remind that I will not judge.
Validation is how you show that you aren’t judging. Then if you do that enough, they know you are safe and won’t judge. Learning the skill of validation, and implementing it, shows a person non-judgment.
This is a wonderful resource!
You can talk many times, yet only the one listened matters.
Like the fish with water, we take listening and speaking for granted. It's time to change that - to bring listening and speaking to the forefront of educators' minds and to purposefully teach the listening and speaking skills that are the foundation of so much of human interaction. Erik Palmer
Deeyah Khan!
Brilliant as always
This is great advice!! So simple
My God you're right!
She should give them a safe space to speak. They should give her a safe space to speak too. Everyone needs to be felt heard.
Replace judgement with curiosity
I got to watch this again ❤❤❤❤
Every Simon Sinek video I have watched is him talking and not listening.
😂
thanks for the video
I'm such a good listener that Latin women call me 'Escucha Man'... In fact, they scream it at me from the top of their lungs!
Hello sir🤗
From India 🇮🇳
Our VP should watch this so she can behave herself when others talk. She is so rude and doesn’t care and respect others when they talk, just cutoff in the middle no matter what the business topic the talker was doing, she has to be heard any seconds without letting others finishing!
This was great....you also have great facial hair....I LOVE IT!
Baller
This is so important! Great video!
Touched ❤
Incredible