I agree with Jordan. Be mindful of it as you finish writing your first draft, but the important thing is to get your story written. You can always edit the passive voice out!
The most important thing about your first draft is just to get it written. The editing will always happen and with more knowledge and information, you'll be able to make more fine tune adjustments in that first round.
I disagree with the sentiment of avoiding passive voice altogether. It is a very useful tool. Sure, you can not go by and write everything in the passive voice. Avoid it when it serves no purpose. "The castle was being attacked.", is a perfectly good sentece, when we are folloing someone in the castle who just realized that they are under attack. This is espeically true, if said person does not know who the attacker is. Or consider "Erin was adored by everyone. No day went by without at least one loveletter being stuck into her school locker." Its about Erin and the loveletters she received, who specifically sent those letters is not important here. Passive sentences are good when the person or thing acted upon are the sole point of interest.
Yeah, there are some completely valid uses for passive voice. It lets you vary your sentence structure, so you don't have 15 sentences in a row where your MC is the subject. It also allows you to withhold information, which can be especially useful if you're writing from a limited perspective. "Dirk the Daring was struck of the head, and his vision faded to black." You want the reader to wonder who struck him. Passive voice is also a decent way to change up the emphasis of the sentence. "In a rage, Percy brought his fist down on the table. Papers were thrown in all directions, some finding their way into the still smoldering hearth." The second sentence is passive voice, but there's not really much ambiguity to it. It's still the action-reaction order you'd get in an active voice sentence, but spread over two sentences. It's also a huge help when writing dialog, since people love to use passive voice when they're being deceptive.
I totally agree. Eliminating something as useful as the passive voice seems like throwing tools out of your toolbox. I need all the tools I can get so that I can be as versatile as possible. SVO sentences one right after another would be the most boring thing to read. Also, where I come from, its a part of the vernacular and is the way certain things are expected to be said, therefore I choose to write that way to 'naturalize' the flow.
You all need to read The Elements of Style. You may think passive is okay, but it must, *_must_* be used consciously or it will detract from your writing every single time. Usually, this will have to do with the tone/mood/ambiance you're trying to achieve in whatever you're writing. It's better to learn to avoid it and look for its use in already published bestselling novels with generally good to great reviews. Use a pencil to underline the instances you find and try to figure out why the author chose to use it. Then try to sprinkle it into your writing, but only where it contributes rather than just anywhere. Make sure you use beta readers if you do use it and listen closely to their feedback.
@@jchinckley The Elements of Style is a mess that doesn't even follow its own rules. Like most writing or "grammar" advice, it's a grab-bag of misunderstandings and fanciful ideas ordained as iron-clad laws and parroted by people who are more interested in self-righteousness than critical thinking. Steven Pinker's Sense of Style is much more considered and evidence-informed book.
I became more aware of the passive voice after I enrolled in a professional writing course in grad school. Our professor stressed awareness of the passive voice when reading and writing. He particularly highlighted its deliberate use to obfuscate. The passive voice siphons both *power* and *responsibility* from the actor. This can make it subtly manipulative in framing an issue. Once you're aware of that, you're empowered to recognize that framing. For example, consider the difference between these two sentences: "We made a mistake." "Mistake were made." ... *BY ZOMBIES*?
Excellent example, VisibleSigns and Scott! I remember using a trick back in college to differentiate passive and active voices and switching them around. Simply locate the noun and, like figuring out who is reading next from a playwright's script, move the person doing the action or dialogue to the front.
I would like to add that passive voice has it's place and time. As long as you are consistent with it and don't use it if you want there to be tension then you are good. I have written a short story about a poltergeist and everything he did was in passive because he is basically an unknown force. Might have been the wind ..or zombies.
What the heck. I've only seen a few of your videos, but every one of them have blown my brain. You have the simplest solutions to problems I've dealt with for years, this is crazy!
I'd be more interested in a video that explained when the passive voice is valuable. There are many evocative passages in the canon. Passive voice is part of the English language for a reason.
I use passive when my characters are having an actual conversation, non passive in the rest of the book. People in real life don't stop talking or here stop testing because it may sound passive.
In general, it can be used in dialog, but most often when one is trying to save face or attempting to pass the buck. For example (given elsewhere in the comments) compare these: "Mistakes were made." or "A mistake was made." "We made a mistake." The first acknowledges a mistake without acknowledging responsibility, the second admits responsibility outright.
Years ago an English teacher gave our class a paper with a list of ten words we should stop using in our writing. One of the words was "it". The reason why was because the word it was a lazy word and should be replaced by a noun. Whenever I write and use the word it I usually change the word and the sentence is much better. The problem is I did not save the paper my teacher gave me and have always wanted to know what were the other nine words that could so easily make my writing better by if I would simply stop using them. I searched google to find a list of lazy words or words writers should not use and was not successful. I would love to see you do a video on the top ten lazy words beginning authors use.
You must have a crystal ball because I just wrote up a post about this topic! I think I'm up to about 25 words/phrases to edit out of your novel. "It" wasn't one of them, but I can certainly talk about it (lol) now. I had a teacher do the same thing, and I wish I had listened to them a lot more in class!
This is my list of vague words: really, you, feel, think, as, alot, sort of/kind of, just, used to, one of, some, thing, to be + verb"ing" very, ly verb (use sparingly). Sentences starting with: so, mostly, most times, in order to, often, often times.
I've been watchen a few or your videos in a row now. Your charisma, charm, and expression are super delightful. I'm really enjoying learning from these and my attention is hooked. Thank you for your work here and I hope to apply your lessons in my work.
Passive voice can sometimes be useful. If the writer doesn’t doesn’t want the reader to know who is responsible for an act until later in the novel a passive sentence can achieve this by concealing the identity of the perpetrator or perpetrators. “The President has been shot.”
... and this is why I love German. It is difficult to learn, yes, but it has strict rules. Thus, finding passives is easy-er-ish. A verb can be flected in - Person 1st, 2nd, 3rd - Numerus singular/plural - Tempus Gegenwart (present), Imperfekt (action done in past that is not finalized yet (hence IM-perfect)), Perfekt (an action already finalized), Plusquamperfekt ("more than finalized", needed when talking about the order of past actions), Futur 1 (actions in the future), Futur 2 (actions finalized by a point in time in the future). - Modus Indikativ (the normal form), Konjunktiv I/II (we usually try to avoid using the usage of auxiliary verbs. Especially in written form) and Imperativ (a command) - Diathese Aktiv, Passiv (yes. There it is.) We can say a lot about a verb, by only looking at the verb. And it's ending.
Glad you're back! I never really pay attention to the verb itself to spot it, just identify the Subject/Object, but everyone's different. I get that Active Voice is preferred, but I think Passive Voice sounds better a lot of the time (I'm weird). So I've had to pay a lot of attention to this in NaNo this year.
Glad to be back :) I preferred passive voice and only recently converted. I didn't *know* I loved it so much, but comparing active vs. passive stories really highlighted the difference for me. At least for my genre and audience, active voice is preferred. Passive voice does have its place in literature, though!
I love this channel! Helping me find my writing focus after not writing for a long time. Also I love that you always have dogs walking through the shot.
"Lips grazing" is usually used in romance novels to describe a more airy, seductive scene. There are some alternatives such as plain, ol' boring "slow embrace" and mysterious, eerie "chilling lick" for different moods and moments.
It was supposed to be a simple peck on the lips. He paused, his desire would not let him end there, he kissed her glazed lips again hungrily. Surprised, she dropped the donut.
Avoid omniscient whenever you can. It puts too much distance between the reader and your characters. Only use it if the story demands it, or cannot be told from another viewpoint. Or if your story is intended to be humorous. How to determine what tense to use? I recommend the book "Characters and Viewpoint" by Orson Scott Card.
From my old school we were taught to avoid overblown statements in creative writing to avoid sounding overly dramatic or simply silly. To me , also confusing✅
Passive voice can be a great tool. Cutting it completely is definitely excessive, but I try to be mindful of why I am using it. Because, while sometimes I do make mistakes, other times mistakes are just made.
I watched this video yesterday and really didn't think I had taken it in but sitting down to edit my WIP I can definitely say I am finding it infinitely easier to spot what is passive and what is active. Thank you.
Wow I've never thought about this before, but thank you so much for enlightening me :) But this begs the question, how do you vary your sentences? Ex. how would you write this in a more varied way: "Joe and Sally sang a duette. Their voices carried through the room. Emma watched them with awe. She couldn't believe that two people with such different voices could create something so beautiful. Joe closed his eyes and grabbed the mike. He ended the song with a final delicate note." I know it's pretty bland and that I could add senses and stuff like that, but for the purpose of this, how would you change the sentences to make them more varied? I have a hard time finding other ways to start a sentence except with "he" "she" "Emma", etc. Could you use "as the song neared it's end, Joe closed his eyes and grabbed the mike" or would that be passive? Sorry, just a bit confused, appreciate all the help I can get though :)
I have a question in a similar vein: How and when do you use the suffix "ing" in writing? This has bothered me for years. For example, "John wrote all night," verses, "John had been writing all night." Besides going by ear, how do you use the suffix "ing" in a grammatically correct way? Is there any rule of thumb for that?
Glad to see you're back! So I guess the zombie rule could be revised to read "if the sentence already has 'by' in it, then you add 'and zombies' to the sentence instead" to make it work? This was helpful; thanks! :)
Yup. It's supposed to help identify passive sentences that don't have the "by (noun)" already present. But I abused the poor rule and didn't realize how many sentences were passive! Happy writing :)
thanks for your help. i ran part of my novel through that hemingway editor thingy. i was flagged a lot for "Passive Voice". I had no clue what it was talking about. i know now. you are great.
This is perfect timing for me. I'm doing NaNoWrimo for the first time this year, and although I'm still fleshing out the main story, pretty soon I'm going to begin re-writes. Hopefully I can keep the number of passive (space) zombies in check. Cheers!
I'm opening myself up to a flame war, but here goes. 2:59. The words was, be, were etc have nothing to do with passive v aggressive. Passive sentences are formed when the object of a verb becomes the subject of the sentence. Now, before anyone freaks out about big bad grammar, let me show you. Active: The chicken crossed the road. Passive: The road was crossed by the chicken. The word was doesn't make it passive, the fact the the road (object) has become the subject of the sentence instead of the character performing the action, in this case the chicken. Telling people to look for to be verbs to identify passive writing is like telling people pants are a strong indicator of cancer. True people with cancer wear pants, but that doesn't mean everyone wearing pants has cancer. Note: the average beta reader couldn't pick passive voice from a hole in the wall. What they are really saying when they site passive voice is lazy sentence structure. From my days teaching I found that most people using passive voice do so because they are insecure in their ability to paint a scene.
Great explanation - thank you so much!! I appreciate your video editing - right to the point without all the "ums" - lots of info fast and to the point.
A seventh grade english teacher of mine taught me this lesson early on. It's still hard to catch sometimes, but such a big part of writing interesting sentences.
I can't find passive voice to save my life BUT I put everything into the free Hemingway editor and it highlights all the instances in my manuscript. Then I can fix them. Of course it is probably good to be able to spot them yourself and I thank you for going over how to. My brain just can't take that info so I have to use this app. But I thank you for this video!
Ahh I found this so much more helpful than any other video (especially the ones with the ridiculous pre-made animations). I realise this video is almost 3 years old, but I still wanted to express my appreciation.
Oh God, you are hilarious... I started to watch your videos because they are super helpful, but as they are helpful, they are fun to watch. Thanks for all your help!
I don't think I'm the worst for passive voice, but when you mentioned filter words, I googled what that meant and realized that I do it all the time. I've been aware that it's a problem but it's hard to filter them out sometimes, especially when speaking in first person. I try and stop myself from doing it cause I know it's just extra words that slow down the story, but it was nice to find out that it was actually a thing with a name! Loved this video and look forward to the others to come.
My inner Roman is weeping. I love reading the passive voice in Latin. It just sounds so nice and pleasant. Turns out almost all modern English speakers hate the passive voice. Sigh
Love it! Wife says I speak and write in a passive voice. Very helpful instruction. (So hard sometimes having a wife that is a high school English Teacher. =)
I feel like the hot dogs example was better at first than after being corrected. Hear me out: Why is passive voice bad? Because it break immersion? What does it break immersion from? Identification to the PoV character. Why does it break immersion? Because it doesn't correspond to a thought that could cross the mind of the PoV character. Example: "[...] the wall was painted by the two brothers". Does anyone think to themselves "The wall was painted by me"? No. Then that's not a stream of thought that could cross the mind of the PoV character, and it's immersion breaking. What one might think is: "I painted the wall", so "[...] the two brothers painted the wall". Better yet, if I spent all day painting a damn wall I might think "why does everything stink so much? Oh yeah, I painted the walls (and I did it myself; I'm a bad ass, dad would be proud if he was still here)". So, a truly immersive sentence structure would try to emulate that stream of thought to create identification between the reader and the PoV character. Now, going back to the hot dog example. If I feel guilt towards something, I will dissociate myself from it. I didn't "stab that dude", he practically "impaled himself on my sword". We didn't "gobble up these hot dogs", but "at least 12 must have been consumed". To me, those would be examples where the passive voice facilitates immersion into the PoV character by giving the character very human bias in his interpretation of reality. They're a totally valid figure of style, if you think it won't be lost on your target audience (and if you think they can stomach it). This is also part of a broader effort to avoid all sentence structures that don't correspond to something that might cross the mind of the PoV character. In many cases, the subject-object relationship of the sentence should be inverted. Examples: "I feel the wind in my hair" is not a sentence that would cross my mind; so "Daniel felt the wind [...]" could be better phrased as "The wind [verb group] Daniel's hair". I don't have the perception that "I had an idea", rather, I have the perception that "the idea crossed my mind". This is in fact the reason why personification became a figure of style so early in human language. It's part of a bias where we do not acknowledge our responsibility in good outcomes, (and our foe's responsibility in good outcomes), and therefore attribute the fault (and the intention) to objects and circumstances that are not human. Getting that right is part of humanizing the PoV characters.
As a grant writer, I found fundraisers used the passive voice to deflect responsibility for the outcomes they were committing to in the proposal. For example, who is doing what to achieve the lower graduation rates?
Hmm, thanks! I have zero practical knowledge of things like this, and I'm gonna have to start schooling myself on them when my book is finished, cheers! This is a good start, much appreciated.
The easiest way for me to think about this is literally thinking about the word passive; ie, something having something passively happening to them because it's not something that can perform an action. Eg the room was painted. The room passively accepted a painting because it couldn't perform the paint job itself. Does that make sense? That's how I see those. If I had to check verb forms and orders and all that I wouldn't find them lol. I just have to "see" them this way.
In short, passive voice is when u use the words was been is being be am are and were. now, if u use that in the sentence and want to get rid of it, put the subject in the beginning of the sentence. ex: passive voice: mike jackson was attacked by dixon cider. active voice: dixon cider attacked mike jackson
The HEMINGWAY APP is magic for this! So worth the #29.99. Just copy/paste your text and it points out ALL passive voice, complicated sentences, structure...Oh! and it tells you what reading grade level your work is at. Never write higher than a grade 7 reading level. 90% of the world's population reads at a grade 7 level. Remember READER FIRST!!! and KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) Make sure every word is understood so their mind can paint the picture. A lot of people learned English as a 2nd language and are too busy to bother taking it further. Hope this help.
The original Superman comics from the 30s-early 40s are really guilty of this. Even before I really learned what passive voice is (I really should have paid more attention in high school English) it sounded really weird. Anyway, I just found this channel and I think it'll really help as I finally get serious about writing. P.S Nice dog. I loves huskies.
I was getting worried! 😉 Glad you're back. I'm going to have to check out that site. I'm horrible with passive voice. Btw, I made everyone watch the vid on my 60" tv. You were yyyuuuuuuge! But in a good way 😂
At least it isn't vampires. They suck! Look I'm a dad and the kids are at auntie's house to play with their cousins so I am going through dad joke withdrawals when I should be writing my novel because procrastination.
Wait a minute passive voice exists for a reason. Sometimes the subject of an action is ambiguous or unimportant, or our perspective is on the object. "Have you seen Jimmy?" "Hate to be the one to tell you man, but he got eaten by a shark last year." That's passive voice, but it doesn't sound or feel wrong. In fact, saying "a shark ate him" sounds kind of sillier and less colloquial. Besides dialogue, it can be used (oops more passive voice) to avoid saying something like "one can use it" in an inappropriate century.
I don't know how much i do that, but i'm pretty sure i do when the chapter i'm on was already focusing on one person, and so what i'm describing was obviously done by said character. if i'm talking about 1 character, but referring to an action by another one, then always say that x y z was done by So & So. and i think... i usually put who did what and when, in that order. I think?? LoL I haven't written in over 2 years, so it's hard for me to remember how i did it. I feel like i wanna get back into it, but for me it's just a hobby. But i still want to improve. TFS the breakdown of the language into something we all can understand :) LOL
Thanks. Very well done. The "warping" dogs are a bit distracting though. I really appreciate you taking the time to edit your recordings to decrease the inevitable "dead air" which occurs when one is not using a teleprompter, but the dogs were just making me laugh. A dog saunters in from the left and in the next instant he is facing the other direction or several feet away. I was trying really hard to focus on the technical definitions you were presenting, and the dogs were killing me. I think I have ADD though, so perhaps it is not a problem for others. Good job overall.
One of the perks of bring a non-native English speaker is that I had to tohoroughly learn grammar rules. Problem avoided. Great video tho! You've managed to capture the important bits without making it exhausting to watch!
Thank you for the lovely comments! You are right, and I wish I had paid more attention in grammar lessons. I cringe anytime I hear "direct object"...I think I repressed some traumatizing grammar lessons.
Hi, have you ever done a video about writing a synopsis? I can summarise my last novel easily but trying to summarize 270,000 words for a publisher is a pain. I have a dozen writer advice books but all seem to fall short of what you could so eloquently address. Peace.
I have come to the view that passive voice has a place. For instance, it can be used to vary sentence structure in describing scenes (otherwise it can be a list of "there was a xxx", which looks childish). So don't panic. Everything has a place. If green ink is so terrible, why does it exist? Perhaps for use when people are tired of black and blue ink.
![ไปอยู่ไสมา - ช๊อปเปอร์ โตเกียวมิวสิค [ OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/sWuVNbRTJbc/mqdefault.jpg)
Oh boy... I hadn't even thought about this before and now I'm terrified! I have over 200 pages and ... the horror.
it's all good hopefully it's just a first draft, just get the story down and then u can go back and fix it
I agree with Jordan. Be mindful of it as you finish writing your first draft, but the important thing is to get your story written. You can always edit the passive voice out!
The most important thing about your first draft is just to get it written. The editing will always happen and with more knowledge and information, you'll be able to make more fine tune adjustments in that first round.
yah? well i am going to do the ''draft'' way!
5-9 times of 300 pages, on the smallest readable font on microsoft word!
Same 😭😭😭
You've turned line editing into a fun game of action survival horror 8)
Woo! Got to keep it fun :)
Room painted by zombies. Too much red?
You want fun? Look for an old Sega title called "Typing of the Dead," a zombie shooter game that teaches you to type faster. :)
*E1M1 plays, and the DOOM Slayer charges his laptop*
I disagree with the sentiment of avoiding passive voice altogether. It is a very useful tool. Sure, you can not go by and write everything in the passive voice. Avoid it when it serves no purpose.
"The castle was being attacked.", is a perfectly good sentece, when we are folloing someone in the castle who just realized that they are under attack. This is espeically true, if said person does not know who the attacker is.
Or consider "Erin was adored by everyone. No day went by without at least one loveletter being stuck into her school locker." Its about Erin and the loveletters she received, who specifically sent those letters is not important here.
Passive sentences are good when the person or thing acted upon are the sole point of interest.
Yeah, there are some completely valid uses for passive voice. It lets you vary your sentence structure, so you don't have 15 sentences in a row where your MC is the subject.
It also allows you to withhold information, which can be especially useful if you're writing from a limited perspective. "Dirk the Daring was struck of the head, and his vision faded to black." You want the reader to wonder who struck him.
Passive voice is also a decent way to change up the emphasis of the sentence. "In a rage, Percy brought his fist down on the table. Papers were thrown in all directions, some finding their way into the still smoldering hearth." The second sentence is passive voice, but there's not really much ambiguity to it. It's still the action-reaction order you'd get in an active voice sentence, but spread over two sentences.
It's also a huge help when writing dialog, since people love to use passive voice when they're being deceptive.
I totally agree. Eliminating something as useful as the passive voice seems like throwing tools out of your toolbox. I need all the tools I can get so that I can be as versatile as possible. SVO sentences one right after another would be the most boring thing to read. Also, where I come from, its a part of the vernacular and is the way certain things are expected to be said, therefore I choose to write that way to 'naturalize' the flow.
You all need to read The Elements of Style. You may think passive is okay, but it must, *_must_* be used consciously or it will detract from your writing every single time. Usually, this will have to do with the tone/mood/ambiance you're trying to achieve in whatever you're writing. It's better to learn to avoid it and look for its use in already published bestselling novels with generally good to great reviews. Use a pencil to underline the instances you find and try to figure out why the author chose to use it. Then try to sprinkle it into your writing, but only where it contributes rather than just anywhere. Make sure you use beta readers if you do use it and listen closely to their feedback.
I thought you meant Eren-
@@jchinckley The Elements of Style is a mess that doesn't even follow its own rules. Like most writing or "grammar" advice, it's a grab-bag of misunderstandings and fanciful ideas ordained as iron-clad laws and parroted by people who are more interested in self-righteousness than critical thinking. Steven Pinker's Sense of Style is much more considered and evidence-informed book.
0:38 DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG
4:11 HE'S THERE AGAIN
4:54 THERE'S ANOTHER ONE
5:15 They're just so cute.
I became more aware of the passive voice after I enrolled in a professional writing course in grad school. Our professor stressed awareness of the passive voice when reading and writing. He particularly highlighted its deliberate use to obfuscate. The passive voice siphons both *power* and *responsibility* from the actor.
This can make it subtly manipulative in framing an issue. Once you're aware of that, you're empowered to recognize that framing. For example, consider the difference between these two sentences:
"We made a mistake."
"Mistake were made." ... *BY ZOMBIES*?
Excellent example, VisibleSigns and Scott! I remember using a trick back in college to differentiate passive and active voices and switching them around. Simply locate the noun and, like figuring out who is reading next from a playwright's script, move the person doing the action or dialogue to the front.
Every time I make an assignment on Grammarly I get a notification that I have a passive voice misuse. Thank you for this video!
I would like to add that passive voice has it's place and time. As long as you are consistent with it and don't use it if you want there to be tension then you are good. I have written a short story about a poltergeist and everything he did was in passive because he is basically an unknown force. Might have been the wind ..or zombies.
Or the setting, a somber, lonely piece/place?
Guess we're zombie hunters now
What the heck. I've only seen a few of your videos, but every one of them have blown my brain. You have the simplest solutions to problems I've dealt with for years, this is crazy!
1:55 teleporting dog!
#magic
lol I noticed that too
He's an enderman
I have read many explanations of what passive voice was and how to identify it but none as enjoyably articulate as yours! Thank you, Vivien.
Thank you for being so relatable. I also love writing but I'm not very good at deep grammar terms. You're so so clever.
Thank *you* for the kind comments! I'm glad you're enjoying my channel :D
I'd be more interested in a video that explained when the passive voice is valuable. There are many evocative passages in the canon. Passive voice is part of the English language for a reason.
I am looking for this too.
I use passive when my characters are having an actual conversation, non passive in the rest of the book. People in real life don't stop talking or here stop testing because it may sound passive.
It's part of every language. It doesn't mean it is a more effective tool than active voice.
th-cam.com/video/C6pHfjH0Efg/w-d-xo.html
In general, it can be used in dialog, but most often when one is trying to save face or attempting to pass the buck. For example (given elsewhere in the comments) compare these:
"Mistakes were made." or "A mistake was made."
"We made a mistake."
The first acknowledges a mistake without acknowledging responsibility, the second admits responsibility outright.
Years ago an English teacher gave our class a paper with a list of ten words we should stop using in our writing. One of the words was "it". The reason why was because the word it was a lazy word and should be replaced by a noun. Whenever I write and use the word it I usually change the word and the sentence is much better. The problem is I did not save the paper my teacher gave me and have always wanted to know what were the other nine words that could so easily make my writing better by if I would simply stop using them. I searched google to find a list of lazy words or words writers should not use and was not successful. I would love to see you do a video on the top ten lazy words beginning authors use.
You must have a crystal ball because I just wrote up a post about this topic! I think I'm up to about 25 words/phrases to edit out of your novel. "It" wasn't one of them, but I can certainly talk about it (lol) now. I had a teacher do the same thing, and I wish I had listened to them a lot more in class!
Sounds like a good post, looking forward to IT. LOL
This is my list of vague words: really, you, feel, think, as, alot, sort of/kind of, just, used to, one of, some, thing, to be + verb"ing" very, ly verb (use sparingly). Sentences starting with: so, mostly, most times, in order to, often, often times.
I've been watchen a few or your videos in a row now. Your charisma, charm, and expression are super delightful. I'm really enjoying learning from these and my attention is hooked. Thank you for your work here and I hope to apply your lessons in my work.
Passive voice can sometimes be useful.
If the writer doesn’t doesn’t want the reader to know who is responsible for an act until later in the novel a passive sentence can achieve this by concealing the identity of the perpetrator or perpetrators.
“The President has been shot.”
... and this is why I love German.
It is difficult to learn, yes, but it has strict rules.
Thus, finding passives is easy-er-ish.
A verb can be flected in
- Person 1st, 2nd, 3rd
- Numerus singular/plural
- Tempus Gegenwart (present), Imperfekt (action done in past that is not finalized yet (hence IM-perfect)), Perfekt (an action already finalized), Plusquamperfekt ("more than finalized", needed when talking about the order of past actions), Futur 1 (actions in the future), Futur 2 (actions finalized by a point in time in the future).
- Modus Indikativ (the normal form), Konjunktiv I/II (we usually try to avoid using the usage of auxiliary verbs. Especially in written form) and Imperativ (a command)
- Diathese Aktiv, Passiv (yes. There it is.)
We can say a lot about a verb, by only looking at the verb. And it's ending.
Glad you're back! I never really pay attention to the verb itself to spot it, just identify the Subject/Object, but everyone's different. I get that Active Voice is preferred, but I think Passive Voice sounds better a lot of the time (I'm weird). So I've had to pay a lot of attention to this in NaNo this year.
Glad to be back :) I preferred passive voice and only recently converted. I didn't *know* I loved it so much, but comparing active vs. passive stories really highlighted the difference for me. At least for my genre and audience, active voice is preferred. Passive voice does have its place in literature, though!
I love this channel! Helping me find my writing focus after not writing for a long time. Also I love that you always have dogs walking through the shot.
Thank you! Glad I could push you toward writing again :)
Am I the only one who hates it when authors describe kisses as "a graze on their lips"I mean are the characters cows? Lol why are we grazing here?!
LMI101 Any other suggestions, then?
"Lips grazing" is usually used in romance novels to describe a more airy, seductive scene. There are some alternatives such as plain, ol' boring "slow embrace" and mysterious, eerie "chilling lick" for different moods and moments.
Dude that's graze as in scrape or rub across not graze as in eat grass. Same spelling different words - homographs.
a graze a shallow blow against the skin, "I grazed my knee on the asphalt"
It was supposed to be a simple peck on the lips. He paused, his desire would not let him end there, he kissed her glazed lips again hungrily. Surprised, she dropped the donut.
Q: when writing in omniscient past tense what are the best ways to avoid passive voice?
Avoid omniscient whenever you can. It puts too much distance between the reader and your characters. Only use it if the story demands it, or cannot be told from another viewpoint. Or if your story is intended to be humorous. How to determine what tense to use? I recommend the book "Characters and Viewpoint" by Orson Scott Card.
I miss you old TH-cam. These videos are so much help! Thank you
Your editing in this video is great, very easy to follow along.
This is making me rethink literally every story I’ve written. Thanks. I mean it, this is so good for me.
My old school taught me that overly drama
From my old school we were taught to avoid overblown statements in creative writing to avoid sounding overly dramatic or simply silly. To me , also confusing✅
Passive voice can be a great tool. Cutting it completely is definitely excessive, but I try to be mindful of why I am using it. Because, while sometimes I do make mistakes, other times mistakes are just made.
I watched this video yesterday and really didn't think I had taken it in but sitting down to edit my WIP I can definitely say I am finding it infinitely easier to spot what is passive and what is active. Thank you.
Wow I've never thought about this before, but thank you so much for enlightening me :) But this begs the question, how do you vary your sentences? Ex. how would you write this in a more varied way:
"Joe and Sally sang a duette. Their voices carried through the room. Emma watched them with awe. She couldn't believe that two people with such different voices could create something so beautiful. Joe closed his eyes and grabbed the mike. He ended the song with a final delicate note."
I know it's pretty bland and that I could add senses and stuff like that, but for the purpose of this, how would you change the sentences to make them more varied? I have a hard time finding other ways to start a sentence except with "he" "she" "Emma", etc. Could you use "as the song neared it's end, Joe closed his eyes and grabbed the mike" or would that be passive? Sorry, just a bit confused, appreciate all the help I can get though :)
I tend to be passive in real life. Hoping it doesn't come out in my writing :D
I have a question in a similar vein: How and when do you use the suffix "ing" in writing? This has bothered me for years.
For example, "John wrote all night," verses, "John had been writing all night."
Besides going by ear, how do you use the suffix "ing" in a grammatically correct way? Is there any rule of thumb for that?
I am so glad that you came back.....missed you.......
Glad to see you're back! So I guess the zombie rule could be revised to read "if the sentence already has 'by' in it, then you add 'and zombies' to the sentence instead" to make it work? This was helpful; thanks! :)
Yup. It's supposed to help identify passive sentences that don't have the "by (noun)" already present. But I abused the poor rule and didn't realize how many sentences were passive! Happy writing :)
thanks for your help. i ran part of my novel through that hemingway editor thingy. i was flagged a lot for "Passive Voice". I had no clue what it was talking about. i know now. you are great.
I see this was 6 years ago but thank you very much for posting this.
This is perfect timing for me. I'm doing NaNoWrimo for the first time this year, and although I'm still fleshing out the main story, pretty soon I'm going to begin re-writes. Hopefully I can keep the number of passive (space) zombies in check. Cheers!
I'm so happy to hear that! Best of luck in NaNo! I'm so sad I couldn't join in this year, but I'm living vicariously through other writers like you!
I'm opening myself up to a flame war, but here goes. 2:59. The words was, be, were etc have nothing to do with passive v aggressive. Passive sentences are formed when the object of a verb becomes the subject of the sentence. Now, before anyone freaks out about big bad grammar, let me show you. Active: The chicken crossed the road. Passive: The road was crossed by the chicken. The word was doesn't make it passive, the fact the the road (object) has become the subject of the sentence instead of the character performing the action, in this case the chicken. Telling people to look for to be verbs to identify passive writing is like telling people pants are a strong indicator of cancer. True people with cancer wear pants, but that doesn't mean everyone wearing pants has cancer. Note: the average beta reader couldn't pick passive voice from a hole in the wall. What they are really saying when they site passive voice is lazy sentence structure. From my days teaching I found that most people using passive voice do so because they are insecure in their ability to paint a scene.
Great explanation - thank you so much!! I appreciate your video editing - right to the point without all the "ums" - lots of info fast and to the point.
I LOATHE passive voice because I have begged coworkers not to use it for over a decade and they still write in passive voice.
Just when I was happy about my writing....
stay positive :) there's always room for improvement, and you are one step closer to becoming an ultimate writer :) any updates?
Most of the best-selling novelists use passive voice.
A seventh grade english teacher of mine taught me this lesson early on. It's still hard to catch sometimes, but such a big part of writing interesting sentences.
I'd rather listen to you explain grammatical issues all day than my old English teacher
I can't find passive voice to save my life BUT I put everything into the free Hemingway editor and it highlights all the instances in my manuscript. Then I can fix them. Of course it is probably good to be able to spot them yourself and I thank you for going over how to. My brain just can't take that info so I have to use this app. But I thank you for this video!
I was wondering where you went! welcome back!!! :D
Thank you!!
Ahh I found this so much more helpful than any other video (especially the ones with the ridiculous pre-made animations). I realise this video is almost 3 years old, but I still wanted to express my appreciation.
Oh God, you are hilarious... I started to watch your videos because they are super helpful, but as they are helpful, they are fun to watch. Thanks for all your help!
If you can swap the verb with an adjective, it's passive. The building was attacked. The building was pastel pink.
I don't think I'm the worst for passive voice, but when you mentioned filter words, I googled what that meant and realized that I do it all the time. I've been aware that it's a problem but it's hard to filter them out sometimes, especially when speaking in first person. I try and stop myself from doing it cause I know it's just extra words that slow down the story, but it was nice to find out that it was actually a thing with a name! Loved this video and look forward to the others to come.
If passive sentences are zombies, filter words are Satan's hellhounds. They're such tricky little devils! Glad you enjoyed my video :)
Vivien Reis I totally agree. They're always catching you when you're unaware!
My inner Roman is weeping. I love reading the passive voice in Latin. It just sounds so nice and pleasant. Turns out almost all modern English speakers hate the passive voice. Sigh
Personally I don't know why passive voice is so hated. It doesn't seem to do anything wrong.
So the action is already done but it should be at present so the readers can experience it for themselves as the character is this is very helpful
what if the passive voice is to emphasize the noun or something else instead of the subject?
Love it! Wife says I speak and write in a passive voice. Very helpful instruction. (So hard sometimes having a wife that is a high school English Teacher. =)
I feel like the hot dogs example was better at first than after being corrected.
Hear me out:
Why is passive voice bad? Because it break immersion? What does it break immersion from? Identification to the PoV character. Why does it break immersion? Because it doesn't correspond to a thought that could cross the mind of the PoV character.
Example: "[...] the wall was painted by the two brothers".
Does anyone think to themselves "The wall was painted by me"? No. Then that's not a stream of thought that could cross the mind of the PoV character, and it's immersion breaking. What one might think is: "I painted the wall", so "[...] the two brothers painted the wall". Better yet, if I spent all day painting a damn wall I might think "why does everything stink so much? Oh yeah, I painted the walls (and I did it myself; I'm a bad ass, dad would be proud if he was still here)". So, a truly immersive sentence structure would try to emulate that stream of thought to create identification between the reader and the PoV character.
Now, going back to the hot dog example.
If I feel guilt towards something, I will dissociate myself from it. I didn't "stab that dude", he practically "impaled himself on my sword". We didn't "gobble up these hot dogs", but "at least 12 must have been consumed".
To me, those would be examples where the passive voice facilitates immersion into the PoV character by giving the character very human bias in his interpretation of reality.
They're a totally valid figure of style, if you think it won't be lost on your target audience (and if you think they can stomach it).
This is also part of a broader effort to avoid all sentence structures that don't correspond to something that might cross the mind of the PoV character. In many cases, the subject-object relationship of the sentence should be inverted. Examples:
"I feel the wind in my hair" is not a sentence that would cross my mind; so "Daniel felt the wind [...]" could be better phrased as "The wind [verb group] Daniel's hair". I don't have the perception that "I had an idea", rather, I have the perception that "the idea crossed my mind".
This is in fact the reason why personification became a figure of style so early in human language. It's part of a bias where we do not acknowledge our responsibility in good outcomes, (and our foe's responsibility in good outcomes), and therefore attribute the fault (and the intention) to objects and circumstances that are not human. Getting that right is part of humanizing the PoV characters.
As a grant writer, I found fundraisers used the passive voice to deflect responsibility for the outcomes they were committing to in the proposal. For example, who is doing what to achieve the lower graduation rates?
Hmm, thanks! I have zero practical knowledge of things like this, and I'm gonna have to start schooling myself on them when my book is finished, cheers! This is a good start, much appreciated.
I'm schooling myself on stuff like this all the time. It's never-ending!
Thank you so much, my research on this was going round in circles.
I'mm so glad I stumbled across your channel your videos have been super helpful!!
The easiest way for me to think about this is literally thinking about the word passive; ie, something having something passively happening to them because it's not something that can perform an action. Eg the room was painted. The room passively accepted a painting because it couldn't perform the paint job itself. Does that make sense? That's how I see those. If I had to check verb forms and orders and all that I wouldn't find them lol. I just have to "see" them this way.
Very well explained, that's a hard one to get across and you did it eloquently.
I have this video saved because I come back to watch it so often. This is my number 1 weakness...
Welcome back and thanks for this. It makes better sense to me now lol.
Thank you! Glad it helped :D
This was SOOO Entertaining. Thank you so much! Great job on this...and I feel like this helped alot!
An erin brock vid mentioned pv - this morning been ac writer years and compelled to look it up.
I went to public school in Australia so can you do a segment explaining what a verb is.
In short, passive voice is when u use the words was been is being be am are and were. now, if u use that in the sentence and want to get rid of it, put the subject in the beginning of the sentence. ex: passive voice: mike jackson was attacked by dixon cider.
active voice: dixon cider attacked mike jackson
Watching you is effortless.
The HEMINGWAY APP is magic for this! So worth the #29.99. Just copy/paste your text and it points out ALL passive voice, complicated sentences, structure...Oh! and it tells you what reading grade level your work is at. Never write higher than a grade 7 reading level. 90% of the world's population reads at a grade 7 level. Remember READER FIRST!!! and KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) Make sure every word is understood so their mind can paint the picture. A lot of people learned English as a 2nd language and are too busy to bother taking it further. Hope this help.
I'm even more confused than before lol
The original Superman comics from the 30s-early 40s are really guilty of this. Even before I really learned what passive voice is (I really should have paid more attention in high school English) it sounded really weird.
Anyway, I just found this channel and I think it'll really help as I finally get serious about writing.
P.S Nice dog. I loves huskies.
I was getting worried! 😉
Glad you're back. I'm going to have to check out that site. I'm horrible with passive voice.
Btw, I made everyone watch the vid on my 60" tv.
You were yyyuuuuuuge! But in a good way 😂
Hahaha, that's hilarious. And I'm so glad I'm back too! That was a ridiculously long hiatus :/
I thought it was hilarious.
Should've done the whole thing as a zombie though. That would've been awesome!
Your channel is a gift. Thank you!
Thank you Vivien for the video full of great information.
Very helpful, thank you!
You just made me smile.
I'm literally writing a story about zombies rn lmao xD
YES! I'm on a zombie novel kick right now. They'll always be my favorite monster!
Yaaassss :)
At least it isn't vampires. They suck!
Look I'm a dad and the kids are at auntie's house to play with their cousins so I am going through dad joke withdrawals when I should be writing my novel because procrastination.
Bring Me The Memes Same!!!
Was the story written by zombies?
I agree with the long math analogy where the answer is 0 and I would like to add in the answer of 1
YOU....ARE.....AMAZING!
Wait a minute passive voice exists for a reason. Sometimes the subject of an action is ambiguous or unimportant, or our perspective is on the object. "Have you seen Jimmy?" "Hate to be the one to tell you man, but he got eaten by a shark last year." That's passive voice, but it doesn't sound or feel wrong. In fact, saying "a shark ate him" sounds kind of sillier and less colloquial. Besides dialogue, it can be used (oops more passive voice) to avoid saying something like "one can use it" in an inappropriate century.
2:25 AMEN to that statement!!
do you have a video on recognizing the appropriate times on switching from past tense to present/active tense?
So useful. Thanks Viv!
AHH this is so helpful. I always knew there was something wrong with my writing.
you are awesome. could you please analyze a paragraph and tell me do's and don'ts?
I like that dog - the gray dog.
I don't know how much i do that, but i'm pretty sure i do when the chapter i'm on was already focusing on one person, and so what i'm describing was obviously done by said character. if i'm talking about 1 character, but referring to an action by another one, then always say that x y z was done by So & So. and i think... i usually put who did what and when, in that order. I think?? LoL I haven't written in over 2 years, so it's hard for me to remember how i did it. I feel like i wanna get back into it, but for me it's just a hobby. But i still want to improve. TFS the breakdown of the language into something we all can understand :) LOL
Nice to see you again ^_^ I don't *think* I have a problem with passive voice but I'll definitely keep my eye out for it. Zombies are sneaky...
Thank you!! And yes they are...little buggers!
I am late to the game here but can we please talk about this epic thumbnail?
Thank you for all of the help!!!!
This is so helpful! THANKS!
A legit advice thank you so much for helping.
Grammarly helps a lot when trying to find and correct passive misuse.
Thanks. Very well done. The "warping" dogs are a bit distracting though. I really appreciate you taking the time to edit your recordings to decrease the inevitable "dead air" which occurs when one is not using a teleprompter, but the dogs were just making me laugh. A dog saunters in from the left and in the next instant he is facing the other direction or several feet away. I was trying really hard to focus on the technical definitions you were presenting, and the dogs were killing me. I think I have ADD though, so perhaps it is not a problem for others. Good job overall.
One of the perks of bring a non-native English speaker is that I had to tohoroughly learn grammar rules. Problem avoided.
Great video tho! You've managed to capture the important bits without making it exhausting to watch!
Thank you for the lovely comments! You are right, and I wish I had paid more attention in grammar lessons. I cringe anytime I hear "direct object"...I think I repressed some traumatizing grammar lessons.
Hi, have you ever done a video about writing a synopsis? I can summarise my last novel easily but trying to summarize 270,000 words for a publisher is a pain. I have a dozen writer advice books but all seem to fall short of what you could so eloquently address. Peace.
Thank you for this! Also why are active vs passive examples in the 3rd person POV?? What if I’m writing a personal narrative?!
Good video! Helped me with some homework. 👍
Thank you! Best explanation ever!
I have come to the view that passive voice has a place. For instance, it can be used to vary sentence structure in describing scenes (otherwise it can be a list of "there was a xxx", which looks childish). So don't panic. Everything has a place. If green ink is so terrible, why does it exist? Perhaps for use when people are tired of black and blue ink.
Please make a video on editing
You rock! Thanks for sharing all this knowledge!
*You* rock! Thanks for watching :)
Great video and I'll admit I rewatched just to watch your dog teleport.
Thanks for sharing! Good stuff!