I wasted 8 years trying to live with an avoidant partner.. it was a very difficult decision to finally leave her.. looking back, of course I will never even give her the time of day.. Life is too short to throw it away. as we heal and grow we tend to get along with healthier partners.. the relationship we have with ourselves affects all the others.
My ex gave me this same excuse, coupled with “I think you deserve better”. I know *WHY* she broke us up, and I’m not mad over that, but it literally was something so minor I felt blindsided by it. She has some past trauma and possible Daddy Issues/Attachment Issues, but I never brought them up, nor did I make it a focal point. I wanted to grow with her at her own pace. Hoping I can come back to this later on this year with an update.
Yeah, I heard the "incompatible" excuse recently. And ten other excuses that really don't add up. I just ignored them all, said what else I needed to say, let her have her say and then went back into no contact. Did I do the right thing by just ignoring ridiculous excuses?
The problem is that in modern dating individuals are so scared of having difficult conversations or get answers to their assumptions. They assume they might bring on abuse, psycho behaviours or hurt feelings or get their feelings hurt. There’s a lot of cowardice in modern dating and a lot of uncommunicated expectations
It was only 5.5 months. I told him that. There were a lot of things. It felt like i was doing everything including carrying his emotional load, but when I needed to talk, he's cut me off, say it's all too much or I'd hear him talking to himself about things he needed to do. He didn't drive. I was always the one to visit him, i was the only.one spending money. It was so one sided. He would get frustrated over the smallest things. He made condescending remarks... I brought up my concerns in the first month, 3rd month and nothing... Side note: I met him 8yrs ago, but we never dated. Back then i felt he wasn't over his ex and i was correct. Back to present ... I felt like his momma. I was doing things to support him and I got nothing. He was obviously disinterested in addressing my concerns so yep, we're incompatible. After the breakup I learned both of our attachment styles. I'm secure and he's avoidant. Yeah, that's a no for me. Like one of you said i would pour my heart out about what i needed and this dude would have the dumbest expression on his face like nothing was going through his head. He even said, you're not going to cry are you? 😒 I'd rather not. There was no reciprocity. The last conversation he didn't even notice that i wasn't talking. I visit him multiple times per week, but it's too early in the relationship for him to visit me. Im the one buying things because I'm the one with the "good paying job". I'm like ok i puy $400+ tickets to a concert... you could at least pay the $35 parking. There was a jazz event at a museum $130 (together), he could have at least paid for the $16 for 3 chicken tenders 😂 dang. I just felt used. So no I'm not compatible with a selfish, inconsiderate dude who isnt willing to contribute and shuts me down when i have something to say but he can talk about his stuff for hrs on end. Miss me with that. Oh, he knew i didnt want kids and somehow he thought I wanted foster kids or adoption 👀. What did i ever say to make you assume that? Crickets 😒. I work with kids for a living and i love them, but i have no desire to have my own. That has never changed.
My husband wrote me: we are too different (after eight years of a wonderful relationship, even if we were too different he could have noticed that earlier)
I don’t mean this in a mean way but I feel like that’s translation for “there’s too many things I don’t like about you” and they are saying it in a nicer way.
Mine said it after a lil over 12 years 😝 we all know that they knew exactly who we were from the beginning. We’re all just a bunch of fill ins until they can find something better. We were just convenience at that time.
@gioplease6848 how about I have so many things that I don't like about you too, but I'm willing to accept your flaws. They should know before getting married to someone is not like we are not living together before marriage nowadays.
I was in a situationship for 3 years. I am wanted us to “level up” to a closer more loving relationship. He did not. He wanted to keep it casual. We were not compatible and wanted different things. So we went our separate ways, and I am focusing on building myself up.
Hang in there. Try to keep your focus on self-care and self-improvement. Surround yourself with people who love you and choose to be in your life. Easier said than done. I am taking it day by day over here. 😔
My ex said the same thing, we have been split three months, only 3 weeks into no contact and my ex has text twice indirect direscts but it hasn’t gone further and there was a late night call where she called for nothing but sounded teary, any advice on where to go from here please I’m still in no contact on my side
What if it’s someone I have a crush on and he said this to me but he seems interested? I keep catching him look at me and he looks away smiling ? He makes me feel bold when I’m around him which is not usually how I am & he’s all nervous & shy but smiling and blushing ? I’m really confused about him, and still like him & now my feelings for him have to be secret 😞
He said that and I said... Ok... (I made all the efforts to save our relationship before) And I walked away. 4 months in No contact. I love him but he's a DA and wanted to explore the dating scene.
This is the excuse my ex gave 5 weeks ago. We have a son together, we had broken up for 7 months and got back together for a year and a half for him to end it again. We had planned the future, everything was fine 3 days before he ended it. None of it makes sense. He is now ignoring me when I sent him a message about our son. I’m so hurt.
@@Ace7of7Cups I’ve spoken to a lawyer, I can’t force him to have something to do with our son. At the end of the day he is the one missing out. I’m just focusing on healing and taking the best care of our son.
Yeah my guy said this when he dumped me & in my case 72 hours earlier he'd been smitten. I was like where tf is this coming from. I agree with the dynamic trio from an earlier video it's almost always just an excuse. Otherwise they'd explain it to you properly.
Man I feel bad. Can't believe I was too much. So buying flowers, sending love emojis and sending gifts to your girlfriend is too much? I was clingy at times, sure. But that started when she started to pull out. I'm shocked. I won't treat women like this again.
Some of us just want to treat your partner to nice gifts, or trips. We dont do it to expect anything back. Yet women still dont value men like us, that is why a lot of me become mean people.@@cloest-jean6956
This is exactly what my ex of two years told me. She wasn’t sure about getting married and wanting kids and I said it was a no deal breaker for me. And yet she broke up with me over the phone lol 😂
Get our help personally on through my website AskCraig.net
How about incompatibility in politics that causes frequent fights?
👍 Be assured, no one is 100% compatibie; it's all about finding mutually acceptable compromise.
Exactly, and wanting to make things work because it’s worth it! It’s hard to find someone now who is committed to work things through with you 😢
I had an ex tell me a bunch of times that we weren’t compatible. 5 years later, we’re engaged now 🙄
😂 Thank you for sharing that info. ❤
I wasted 8 years trying to live with an avoidant partner.. it was a very difficult decision to finally leave her.. looking back, of course I will never even give her the time of day.. Life is too short to throw it away. as we heal and grow we tend to get along with healthier partners.. the relationship we have with ourselves affects all the others.
Manifesting the hell out of this energy rn
@@FaydsterTVme too! 🙌🏻
yes, i heard "we are not compatible" after 5 years, little that i know at that time, that she was compatibiliting with her co-worker behind my back.
Sorry to hear that.
man..... sorry. She'll probably be back when it fails.
@@amytiffanyhemingwayand he shouldn’t take a cheater back.
I agree with you. There's a difference between commitment phobia and actually cheating @@xpaperxcutx4588
I just don't understand how people can make up stories and lies like they are young children 🤷♀️
My ex gave me this same excuse, coupled with “I think you deserve better”. I know *WHY* she broke us up, and I’m not mad over that, but it literally was something so minor I felt blindsided by it. She has some past trauma and possible Daddy Issues/Attachment Issues, but I never brought them up, nor did I make it a focal point. I wanted to grow with her at her own pace. Hoping I can come back to this later on this year with an update.
I Feel Your Pain, Same Here
Yeah, I heard the "incompatible" excuse recently. And ten other excuses that really don't add up. I just ignored them all, said what else I needed to say, let her have her say and then went back into no contact. Did I do the right thing by just ignoring ridiculous excuses?
Yes
Yes, you did.
YES
The problem is that in modern dating individuals are so scared of having difficult conversations or get answers to their assumptions. They assume they might bring on abuse, psycho behaviours or hurt feelings or get their feelings hurt. There’s a lot of cowardice in modern dating and a lot of uncommunicated expectations
It was only 5.5 months. I told him that. There were a lot of things. It felt like i was doing everything including carrying his emotional load, but when I needed to talk, he's cut me off, say it's all too much or I'd hear him talking to himself about things he needed to do. He didn't drive. I was always the one to visit him, i was the only.one spending money. It was so one sided. He would get frustrated over the smallest things. He made condescending remarks... I brought up my concerns in the first month, 3rd month and nothing... Side note: I met him 8yrs ago, but we never dated. Back then i felt he wasn't over his ex and i was correct. Back to present ... I felt like his momma. I was doing things to support him and I got nothing. He was obviously disinterested in addressing my concerns so yep, we're incompatible. After the breakup I learned both of our attachment styles. I'm secure and he's avoidant. Yeah, that's a no for me. Like one of you said i would pour my heart out about what i needed and this dude would have the dumbest expression on his face like nothing was going through his head. He even said, you're not going to cry are you? 😒 I'd rather not. There was no reciprocity. The last conversation he didn't even notice that i wasn't talking. I visit him multiple times per week, but it's too early in the relationship for him to visit me. Im the one buying things because I'm the one with the "good paying job". I'm like ok i puy $400+ tickets to a concert... you could at least pay the $35 parking. There was a jazz event at a museum $130 (together), he could have at least paid for the $16 for 3 chicken tenders 😂 dang. I just felt used. So no I'm not compatible with a selfish, inconsiderate dude who isnt willing to contribute and shuts me down when i have something to say but he can talk about his stuff for hrs on end. Miss me with that. Oh, he knew i didnt want kids and somehow he thought I wanted foster kids or adoption 👀. What did i ever say to make you assume that? Crickets 😒. I work with kids for a living and i love them, but i have no desire to have my own. That has never changed.
My husband wrote me: we are too different (after eight years of a wonderful relationship, even if we were too different he could have noticed that earlier)
My husband said the same things. After 9 years together. I'm like wtf? You just realize it now?
Yuppp people know from the beginning 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t mean this in a mean way but I feel like that’s translation for “there’s too many things I don’t like about you” and they are saying it in a nicer way.
Mine said it after a lil over 12 years 😝 we all know that they knew exactly who we were from the beginning. We’re all just a bunch of fill ins until they can find something better. We were just convenience at that time.
@gioplease6848 how about I have so many things that I don't like about you too, but I'm willing to accept your flaws. They should know before getting married to someone is not like we are not living together before marriage nowadays.
I was in a situationship for 3 years. I am wanted us to “level up” to a closer more loving relationship. He did not. He wanted to keep it casual. We were not compatible and wanted different things. So we went our separate ways, and I am focusing on building myself up.
And when I bring up our problems he ignores me
Never want to talk about it.
It's been since April 22nd and I've heard absolutely nothing from her and honestly I've lost all hope and could not be more depressed
Hang in there. Try to keep your focus on self-care and self-improvement. Surround yourself with people who love you and choose to be in your life. Easier said than done. I am taking it day by day over here. 😔
This was perfect. Cleared up a lot of my questions. Thanks!
My ex said the same thing, we have been split three months, only 3 weeks into no contact and my ex has text twice indirect direscts but it hasn’t gone further and there was a late night call where she called for nothing but sounded teary, any advice on where to go from here please I’m still in no contact on my side
What if it’s someone I have a crush on and he said this to me but he seems interested? I keep catching him look at me and he looks away smiling ? He makes me feel bold when I’m around him which is not usually how I am & he’s all nervous & shy but smiling and blushing ? I’m really confused about him, and still like him & now my feelings for him have to be secret 😞
He said that and I said... Ok... (I made all the efforts to save our relationship before) And I walked away. 4 months in No contact. I love him but he's a DA and wanted to explore the dating scene.
This is so right on. This is 100% accurate.
Less than a minute in & im cracking up at Coach Craig "we are not compatible" 😂
This is the excuse my ex gave 5 weeks ago. We have a son together, we had broken up for 7 months and got back together for a year and a half for him to end it again. We had planned the future, everything was fine 3 days before he ended it. None of it makes sense. He is now ignoring me when I sent him a message about our son. I’m so hurt.
Well, of you guys have a kid he can't just ignore you. Despite your feelings you may need to take legal action for your child.
@@Ace7of7Cups I’ve spoken to a lawyer, I can’t force him to have something to do with our son. At the end of the day he is the one missing out. I’m just focusing on healing and taking the best care of our son.
Yeah my guy said this when he dumped me & in my case 72 hours earlier he'd been smitten. I was like where tf is this coming from. I agree with the dynamic trio from an earlier video it's almost always just an excuse. Otherwise they'd explain it to you properly.
Man I feel bad. Can't believe I was too much. So buying flowers, sending love emojis and sending gifts to your girlfriend is too much? I was clingy at times, sure. But that started when she started to pull out. I'm shocked. I won't treat women like this again.
Just be nice if you want to be nice for the sake of kindness. Don't be nice to get something out of a situation....
I like clingy men but that's just me.
Some of us just want to treat your partner to nice gifts, or trips. We dont do it to expect anything back. Yet women still dont value men like us, that is why a lot of me become mean people.@@cloest-jean6956
It's a diplomatic way of saying i didn't enjoy the way your kiss or your breath or your size or you are not ambitious or you boring etc
This is exactly what my ex of two years told me. She wasn’t sure about getting married and wanting kids and I said it was a no deal breaker for me. And yet she broke up with me over the phone lol 😂
Love this x
can you make a video about what to do when your ex breadcrumbs you
th-cam.com/video/oo_RcJoTUlc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=rVjI51k-WwjKqZN_
I always say; we can agree to disagree!!!
Most annoying response of all time
We’re incompatible 🤣🤣🤣
She ended it because I believe in trans rights and she doesn’t.