How to fit Kicker speakers into a Jeep Wrangler sound bar

One of the first upgrades I did to my 2013 Jeep Wrangler Sport 3.6 was swap the stock soundbar speakers for a pair of Alpines. Back then, Jeff Bezos was probably doing books and stuff, so they only way to buy genuine, easy fit Jeep speakers was through the local dealership, who charge quite a bit for them.
Jeeps, Dodges and the rest of the Mopar family all come with speakers that feature three mounting tabs, where almost every other speaker ever made in the history of car audio have four places to screw them in. So, the set of Alpines I bought had no way of screwing them into the factory soundbar. They were just held up by the factory speaker covers.
Thanks to Jeff Bezos, I ordered my three-tab Mopar Kicker speakers from the comfort of my bed, which Jeff delivered to my door.
Are they easy to fit? Yes, yes they are. And you can even do it down the beach.