In my (70 yrs) I have seen people do this all my life. I am talking about Straight people. Most people I knew did this. They cannot be alone. Very insecure. I still see people my age who are doing it. I really dislike being hit on by them, there are a lot of people like that. Good subject to talk about. I wish these people would try to make a go at it for a couple years by themselves, just to heal and get to know themselves. It is their business, but they really need a therapist.( Just my thought) 🥰
My ex monkey branched to a distant cousin while still in a four-year relationship/situationship with me. They were already dating when he told me about it. I would have respected him more if we had had a discussion to go our separate ways on good terms. He then would have been free to date anyone he chose. That would have been a mature way to end a relationship. After all, we're adults. Monkey branching, to me , is cowardly and childish.
I am sorry that experience happened to you. And yes, it definitely points to some intense needs in the one doing it, ones that can be harmful to all involved. 🧡🧡
After doing some reading, I discovered he is fearful avoidant. It appears that fearful avoidant have problems with intimacy and commitment. In hindsight, I now recognize red flags I should have paid attention to. After expressing deep feelings for me, he began a slow fade. I am getting better. In fact, I am happier now without the confusion of having to deal with him. He is basically a good guy. We had few arguments and a mostly good relationship. Time has passed and knowing him, he feels guilty. I am sure he is still trying to suppress his feelings and is trying to minimize the relationship. That never works in unguarded moments. Sad.
And I don't entirely disagree with that statement. I do however, come into contact with enough relationships through my job that I know that there are some relationships with understandings that would make this possible. The big thing is communication and intention, which differs for every relationship. 💚💚
I have been monkey branched twice, one from a 7yr relationship and one from a 4yr relationship.. The thing is, I don’t know why I am attracted to these people… I have wasted so much time…
hey kelly thanks for the follow up on my idea. FYI i threw this thought to 2 other LBG POSTERS BESIDE YOU YOUR RESPONSE WAS GREAT, THE OTHER 2; POSTER EITHER DID NOT RESPOND OR THE FELT I WAS A TROLL. monkey branching is something both genders do when they throw away one SO FO ANOTHER. in the future i have another idea i want to throw your way but this one could produce a real HIT STORM for some people but i have not finished my research on the topic again thanks for your response
Hey, Kelly! Love your content. I was wondering if you can do a video doing a deep dive into what defines femininity and what defines masculinity. I find myself a little confused about this because so much influence surrounding these topics can be coming from our own cultures and environment. Since gender is such a wide spectrum, how do we begin to break down and categorize something like this? Thank you so much!
Hey now, don't summarize the video that succinctly. No one will watch 😉🤣 I honestly agree, what happens with consenting adults is what happens with consenting adults. It's when things are done behind a partners back that things start to get complicated, and NOT in a good way! 💜💜
What you do once it's over isn't automatically "fine". It's legal, but you can and will be judged. If you leave a 10 year marriage and then start dating your wife's sister the next day, is that fine?
I'm not sure which of us you are posing this to, or if this is a personal situation or a hypothetical one. So I want to keep all of those pieces in mind when I answer this. The statement of "it's fine" is in the context of the videos topic, meaning is monkey branching cheating or not. So in that regard, the expectation expressed in the original comment was that a relationship needs to be ended before another can begin. That's as far as the statement reaches. To your point of being judged, well, if there anything I've learned in my time online, it's that everything we do can be judged, no matter what. Everyone has an opinion on every word said. Take this comment as an example. It took a year, but an opinion was expressed (as is your right, it's a public channel and a public comment section). Now, to the point of the rest of your example, to infer any type of opinion in any specific situation would be beyond the scope and, as you stated, not entirely appropriate. If the situation you cited has happened to you or someone you care about, I am sorry. There are a whole lot of very complicated emotions involved there, and I'd expect a lot of broken relationships also. 🩷
@@KellyRMinter I don't mean this in a snarky sort of way, but just to clarify who I was talking to. If you weren't the creator of the comment chain, and you weren't @'d, then 99% of the time the comment is directed at the creator of the comment chain. Monkey branching at worst could be considered emotional cheating. Cheating is cheating, but quickly jumping into another relationship is not cheating in and of itself. Some people just move on very quickly, and it doesn't have to be something that's planned out while the person is still in a relationship. There's a lot of grey areas that depend on the specific situation. The real question is: is monkey branching ethical? Did you really love the person you were with if you're so quick to move on? Can you do whatever you want after a relationship is over? Absolutely. Does it call into question the person's real feelings and motivations for being with that person? In a lot of cases yes. That was purely a hypothetical, that specific situation hasn't happened to me. I have been monkey branched before, and I've also been the guy who she swung to quickly after leaving a relationship.
Thanks for watching. As you'll see in multiple stats in these comments, while your personal experience may be what you stated, that actual statistics are the opposite. Have a great day!
Turning up to a family/ friends get together to introduce yet another partner must get tongue's wagging. Like a drug addict, gambler or anyone else with an addiction, if someone close can't tap the person on the shoulder and have that inquisitive chat they just stay on the hamster wheel oblivious to what they're doing to themselves and those they get involved with.
It is true, that may make the family talk. I also would love to see if people in general would spend less time talking about other people's lives (wagging their tongues) and just mind their own business. That said, I do hope that everyone is able to have people in their lives that will have the honest conversations with them (with curiosity, not judgement) for when they are acting out of character. 💚💚
My ex did that to me, she monkey branched to a person that will not do her any good at all. She has super low self-esteem and kept lying to me even after I called her out. Not even 1 min after we broke up she started to date that guy. All because the new guy resembles her abuser very closely.
Dude my ex did the same thing 🤷♂️ I just want to say that I am going through the same thing. Not much we can do, but just want to let you know that I hope you do better my friend. For yourself and for your own future.
I'm sorry you think most women think that cheating is okay, and I guess I'm sorry that you misunderstood my point. Mostly I hope you find happiness, because it seems like you may have been hurt a few times. 💙💙
We all have back up careers, back up transportantion, back up jobs, back up baby sitters, back up dinner plans, back up computer storage, its seems to me its only in relationships that "having a back up relationship and emotional support" is considered wrong, i think the idea of "owning" your partner is "crazy", i think everybody should monkey branch and this ethical b*ll crap would be pointless!!!!
Thanks for this perspective. I definitely agree that many of us have back ups on certain things ... But usually those are things we possess. Since we don't possess our partners, for ME it feels different. I also think it is way different for people who are practicing ENM. I think for me it comes back to consent and communication. The rules to every relyare up to those in the relationship, and if all the people involved are on the same page, then go to town! It's when they aren't on the same page that things get messy/more difficult. ❤️❤️
What are u saying lol I don’t think breaking up and dating is wrong I think being with your bf and gf … and healing while still having them as emotional Support of you decided to change your mind it wrong …. Having some one ready … for when you finnaly heal Is wrong jusy break up with the person don’t drag the realatiomnahopn longer
Lol this comment is fascinating because the preceding examples were transactional or things people use😂 so people are only in your life if they have a use
Lmao That's one way to try to make yourself feel better about having monkey branching. It has nothing to do with 'owning' your partner like you tried to put it, which is ironic because you're the one objectifying them in your comment. It's about respecting one another in a relationship. And you're saying everyone should monkey branch despite the many obvious flaws in this plan and saying it's 'ethical bullcrap'. In that case, if someone does it to you then you can never complain about it happening to you otherwise you're just a massive cowardly hypocrite. 😂
There are several studies going back to 2014 that men do this more. The suggested reasons are because women are more likely to reach for social supports when things are rough in a relationship(friends, therapists, etc) and men are more likely to just move on to someone else. That doesn't mean women don't do it. But statistically men do it more. 🧡🧡
@@KellyRMinter The top 10% of men monkey branch more because they have options, while average men do not. Women are more likely to move on when a relationship is struggling because they do have options on dating apps and in real life. 2014 data is irrelevant. It is not accounting for dating apps, which most Millennials and Gen Z are using in 2023.
Interesting reading comprehension. I said numerous studies GOING BACK TO, not dated 2014. The most recent studies bare up what I'm saying, and it has been true since 2014 all the way through now.
@@KellyRMinterlooking for this research, another dating coach makes the statement women do this. But, I think men do this more and research studies would back up my argument.
emotional cheating is the first stage before physical cheating
Interesting, do you think physical cheating ALWAYS follows emotional, or that if you pushovally cheat you've also emotionally cheated beforehand? 💛
@Kelly R. Minter for women it's emotional first than physical. For men, it's mainly physical if they are cheating.
In my (70 yrs) I have seen people do this all my life. I am talking about Straight people. Most people I knew did this. They cannot be alone. Very insecure. I still see people my age who are doing it. I really dislike being hit on by them, there are a lot of people like that.
Good subject to talk about. I wish these people would try to make a go at it for a couple years by themselves, just to heal and get to know themselves. It is their business, but they really need a therapist.( Just my thought) 🥰
I mean, I don't disagree....but I also think EVERYONE needs a therapist 😉💚💚
@@KellyRMinter I agree with you!
People do this all the time regardless of sexual orientation. It’s definitely a huge sign of codependency since they don’t know how to be single.
You are totally right, this is definitely not an orientation specific thing,. ❤️❤️
My ex monkey branched to a distant cousin while still in a four-year relationship/situationship with me. They were already dating when he told me about it. I would have respected him more if we had had a discussion to go our separate ways on good terms. He then would have been free to date anyone he chose. That would have been a mature way to end a relationship. After all, we're adults. Monkey branching, to me , is cowardly and childish.
I am sorry that experience happened to you. And yes, it definitely points to some intense needs in the one doing it, ones that can be harmful to all involved. 🧡🧡
After doing some reading, I discovered he is fearful avoidant. It appears that fearful avoidant have problems with intimacy and commitment. In hindsight, I now recognize red flags I should have paid attention to. After expressing deep feelings for me, he began a slow fade. I am getting better. In fact, I am happier now without the confusion of having to deal with him. He is basically a good guy. We had few arguments and a mostly good relationship. Time has passed and knowing him, he feels guilty. I am sure he is still trying to suppress his feelings and is trying to minimize the relationship. That never works in unguarded moments. Sad.
I’ve never heard this term before but it makes prefect sense when you explain it. Thanks for another great video!
Thanks for watching! ❤️❤️❤️
Monkey branching is cheating no matter what way you look at it. What you are basically doing is interviewing your next potential dating partner.
And I don't entirely disagree with that statement. I do however, come into contact with enough relationships through my job that I know that there are some relationships with understandings that would make this possible. The big thing is communication and intention, which differs for every relationship. 💚💚
I have been monkey branched twice, one from a 7yr relationship and one from a 4yr relationship.. The thing is, I don’t know why I am attracted to these people… I have wasted so much time…
hey kelly thanks for the follow up on my idea. FYI i threw this thought to 2 other
LBG POSTERS BESIDE YOU YOUR RESPONSE WAS GREAT, THE OTHER 2; POSTER EITHER DID NOT RESPOND OR THE FELT I WAS A TROLL. monkey branching is something both genders do when they throw away one SO FO ANOTHER. in the future i have another idea i want to throw your way but this one could produce a real HIT STORM for some people but i have not finished my research on the topic again thanks for your response
Any time!! Thanks for asking the question in the first place! 💙💙
Hey, Kelly! Love your content. I was wondering if you can do a video doing a deep dive into what defines femininity and what defines masculinity. I find myself a little confused about this because so much influence surrounding these topics can be coming from our own cultures and environment. Since gender is such a wide spectrum, how do we begin to break down and categorize something like this? Thank you so much!
I can absolutely do a video on this! Thanks for the idea! ☺️❤️
I think its wrong when they in relationship and are already having a backup. Other than tht what u do when we done is fine lol.
Hey now, don't summarize the video that succinctly. No one will watch 😉🤣
I honestly agree, what happens with consenting adults is what happens with consenting adults. It's when things are done behind a partners back that things start to get complicated, and NOT in a good way! 💜💜
What you do once it's over isn't automatically "fine". It's legal, but you can and will be judged. If you leave a 10 year marriage and then start dating your wife's sister the next day, is that fine?
I'm not sure which of us you are posing this to, or if this is a personal situation or a hypothetical one. So I want to keep all of those pieces in mind when I answer this.
The statement of "it's fine" is in the context of the videos topic, meaning is monkey branching cheating or not. So in that regard, the expectation expressed in the original comment was that a relationship needs to be ended before another can begin. That's as far as the statement reaches.
To your point of being judged, well, if there anything I've learned in my time online, it's that everything we do can be judged, no matter what. Everyone has an opinion on every word said. Take this comment as an example. It took a year, but an opinion was expressed (as is your right, it's a public channel and a public comment section).
Now, to the point of the rest of your example, to infer any type of opinion in any specific situation would be beyond the scope and, as you stated, not entirely appropriate. If the situation you cited has happened to you or someone you care about, I am sorry. There are a whole lot of very complicated emotions involved there, and I'd expect a lot of broken relationships also. 🩷
@@KellyRMinter I don't mean this in a snarky sort of way, but just to clarify who I was talking to. If you weren't the creator of the comment chain, and you weren't @'d, then 99% of the time the comment is directed at the creator of the comment chain.
Monkey branching at worst could be considered emotional cheating. Cheating is cheating, but quickly jumping into another relationship is not cheating in and of itself. Some people just move on very quickly, and it doesn't have to be something that's planned out while the person is still in a relationship. There's a lot of grey areas that depend on the specific situation. The real question is: is monkey branching ethical? Did you really love the person you were with if you're so quick to move on? Can you do whatever you want after a relationship is over? Absolutely. Does it call into question the person's real feelings and motivations for being with that person? In a lot of cases yes.
That was purely a hypothetical, that specific situation hasn't happened to me. I have been monkey branched before, and I've also been the guy who she swung to quickly after leaving a relationship.
Women do it. Most guys don't. This therapists is clueless. I appreciate that she made a video.
Thanks for watching. As you'll see in multiple stats in these comments, while your personal experience may be what you stated, that actual statistics are the opposite. Have a great day!
Happened to me recently 12 years gone
I'm so sorry 💙💙
Turning up to a family/ friends get together to introduce yet another partner must get tongue's wagging.
Like a drug addict, gambler or anyone else with an addiction, if someone close can't tap the person on the shoulder and have that inquisitive chat they just stay on the hamster wheel oblivious to what they're doing to themselves and those they get involved with.
It is true, that may make the family talk. I also would love to see if people in general would spend less time talking about other people's lives (wagging their tongues) and just mind their own business. That said, I do hope that everyone is able to have people in their lives that will have the honest conversations with them (with curiosity, not judgement) for when they are acting out of character. 💚💚
My ex did that to me, she monkey branched to a person that will not do her any good at all. She has super low self-esteem and kept lying to me even after I called her out. Not even 1 min after we broke up she started to date that guy. All because the new guy resembles her abuser very closely.
Dude my ex did the same thing 🤷♂️ I just want to say that I am going through the same thing. Not much we can do, but just want to let you know that I hope you do better my friend. For yourself and for your own future.
That must have caused a lot of pain. I am so sorry that happened. 💛💛
One of my favorite things about this channel is the support that y'all give one another 💚💚
There is a woman i knw who does tht....all her branches broke off now that she hit 50 😂
I hope she finds happiness 🧡
Monkey splat!
A typical woman's view on cheating, in denial as usual.
Cheating on your partner is still cheating.
I'm sorry you think most women think that cheating is okay, and I guess I'm sorry that you misunderstood my point. Mostly I hope you find happiness, because it seems like you may have been hurt a few times. 💙💙
Well everything is correct in this vid
🧡🧡
We all have back up careers, back up transportantion, back up jobs, back up baby sitters, back up dinner plans, back up computer storage, its seems to me its only in relationships that "having a back up relationship and emotional support" is considered wrong, i think the idea of "owning" your partner is "crazy", i think everybody should monkey branch and this ethical b*ll crap would be pointless!!!!
Thanks for this perspective. I definitely agree that many of us have back ups on certain things ... But usually those are things we possess. Since we don't possess our partners, for ME it feels different. I also think it is way different for people who are practicing ENM.
I think for me it comes back to consent and communication. The rules to every relyare up to those in the relationship, and if all the people involved are on the same page, then go to town! It's when they aren't on the same page that things get messy/more difficult. ❤️❤️
What are u saying lol I don’t think breaking up and dating is wrong I think being with your bf and gf … and healing while still having them as emotional
Support of you decided to change your mind it wrong …. Having some one ready … for when you finnaly heal Is wrong jusy break up with the person don’t drag the realatiomnahopn longer
Lol this comment is fascinating because the preceding examples were transactional or things people use😂 so people are only in your life if they have a use
Lmao That's one way to try to make yourself feel better about having monkey branching. It has nothing to do with 'owning' your partner like you tried to put it, which is ironic because you're the one objectifying them in your comment. It's about respecting one another in a relationship.
And you're saying everyone should monkey branch despite the many obvious flaws in this plan and saying it's 'ethical bullcrap'. In that case, if someone does it to you then you can never complain about it happening to you otherwise you're just a massive cowardly hypocrite. 😂
Women are notorious for monkey branching and yet the thumbnail is of the man looking at his phone..
There are several studies going back to 2014 that men do this more. The suggested reasons are because women are more likely to reach for social supports when things are rough in a relationship(friends, therapists, etc) and men are more likely to just move on to someone else.
That doesn't mean women don't do it. But statistically men do it more. 🧡🧡
@@KellyRMinter The top 10% of men monkey branch more because they have options, while average men do not. Women are more likely to move on when a relationship is struggling because they do have options on dating apps and in real life. 2014 data is irrelevant. It is not accounting for dating apps, which most Millennials and Gen Z are using in 2023.
Interesting reading comprehension. I said numerous studies GOING BACK TO, not dated 2014. The most recent studies bare up what I'm saying, and it has been true since 2014 all the way through now.
That's not the evidence but misogyny trumps facts😂
@@KellyRMinterlooking for this research, another dating coach makes the statement women do this. But, I think men do this more and research studies would back up my argument.