The Truth About Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go With Jay Shetty | Mel Robbins Podcast
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 มิ.ย. 2024
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In this episode, you and I are getting a #masterclass on the topic of #love.
And it’s not what you think. This is not an episode about #relationships - it is an episode about YOUR relationship to love and how you can let more love into your life.
If you have felt alone or feel like your relationships are on #autopilot - this episode is a real gift.
@jayshetty2758 is someone I really love. He’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk, and his latest book is Love Rules. His sage counsel on life is sought after by celebrities, world leaders, professional athletes and the most successful artists in the world.
Watch this episode as a family. Watch with your friends. Watch with your partner.. Watch by yourself. Love is what we need. And hearing two dear friends go deep on the topic will make your heart swell.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
00:00 Intro
10:44 Hear Jay’s 3-part definition of love I’d never heard that is so spot on.
11:46 According to research, this is how many hours you need to spend to make a casual friend, a good friend, and a great friend.
14:39 Are you doing this with your partner? Jay says that’s not love.
16:36 Okay wow, here’s where I realize I’m not doing something for my husband, Chris, that I should be doing.
19:11 If your relationship is new, be careful you don’t do this.
21:29 Why do we chase relationships in order to feel worthy?
22:44 Rule #1 for finding love.
27:35 What research shows will happen if you enter a relationship simply because you’re afraid of being alone.
26:57 Hear Jay in a rare moment where he talks about his childhood trauma.
35:24 Here’s why you keep dating the same kind of person over and over.
37:08 One simple exercise you can do today to start building a healthy relationship.
37:48 Jay leads us through a powerful meditation.
44:20 There are four phases of love: hear them unpacked and explained.
47:37 Dating someone new? Then you need to know about both the “halo effect” and the “context effect.”
50:36 Jay’s best piece of advice if you want that new relationship to last.
54:19 Here’s Jay’s Rule #4 of love and why it’s my favorite.
59:04 Is someone caring for you or controlling you? Here’s how to tell.
1:03:50 What you might be doing in your relationship that’s hurting it.
1:05:26 Here’s what I disagreed with Jay about.
1:06:49 What is the purpose of love in your life? Jay answers.
Listen to the #podcast episode "A Toolkit for Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
More about #JayShetty:
- Jay's new book, 8 Rules of Love is now available for purchase at 8rulesoflove.com/ and wherever books are sold.
- To catch Jay on his first ever global tour 'Love Rules', go to jayshettytour.com/ for tickets.
- Follow Jay on Instagram (I personally never miss a post.): / jayshetty
- Jay’s website: jayshetty.me/
- Follow Jay on Facebook: / jayshettyiw
- Follow Jay on TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@jayshetty?lan...
- Get Jay’s first book, the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk: www.amazon.com/gp/product/198...
- Subscribe to Jay’s podcast On Purpose: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
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Jay Shetty @JayShettyPodcast dropped some incredible insights on LOVE! If you want to hear more from guests like Jay on The Mel Robbins Podcast, give this video a like!
“If you want something from someone else, first give it to yourself”. Love this. Nobody takes care of #1, like #1!
10:44 - Love is when I:
1. like someone's personality
2. respect their values
3. am committed to help them with their goals
Thank you for time stamping that!!
😼👏 i agree!!!❤😊
ThANK YOU !!😊😮🎉🎉
Yes
I think it's really cool what he's saying about Respecting your partner's values, and focusing on their goals. I like that he's not saying that your goals and values have to align with theirs, but that respecting and supporting are enough.
0000000😅😅
I think he/Jay does (at the beginning of when he actually defines what he defines love to b... like them respect them n "align w their values"... think deeply and realistically that if u don't align in (at least your most important values) values as a couple then u are bound to have frequent issues that are not "compromise" points (do u compromise on your basic n most closely held values?) for either but "give up" points which will build deep resentment. .. maybe I don't see "values" as u define them?
"share" their list important values... is how Jay clarifies about values (a mutual respect n sharing of values that garners respect n support in the values y'all share ... it's complex to b clear.
but this is a great /better definition of adult love than I can recall. ever.
😊@@meghanegger2376
@@meghanegger2376,
Meeting my 13 year old self reduced me to tears. Her wisdom was trust yourself. I may revisit her soon. ❤
The wisdom my 13 year old self gave me was to be true to myself above anything else. I plan on revisting him as often as needed.
@@adb2490 great we can tap into ourselves
At first I saw her, and gave her a hug...I felt like a mother figure. And soon the roles completely changed and her pure heart and faith and the way she hugged me feel like I was in the arms of a sage mother... her wisedom came simply from being herself
Wow I cried too. 😢
Same! The moment my 13yr old self and I hugged, I just burst out crying. I told her that she's so loved and what she said back to me was "I believe in you" and that made me cry more.
LIFE CHANGING interview…self development is a long marathon not a sprint…at 70 yrs strong, this era is the most enlightening with podcasts like this.
When we find our person, they should make us feel like superheroes, which will then drive us to scale mountains & wrangle stars, and share that abundance of love w everyone we meet
Love truly makes the world go round 💞
Plz, don’t settle… 🤗 🥰
❤️🙏🏼❤️
52 minutes in and I have to say this is THE best conversation on love (in all forms) I’ve ever listened to. My hat off to Mel stopping and asking to dissect certain topics and being so specific and detailed. It allowed Jay to truly share his wisdom in ways I’ve haven’t heard before.
There is no episode that doesn’t make me cry. I am such a damaged person but gahd Mel’s podcast is like an instrumental from the heavens 😭😭😭 i love you Mel, thank you for being who you are, you are amazing
Omg Mel! I did the meditation and am sobbing at the lack of love I realized I had for my 13 year old self. How lonely I was then? I wrapped my arms around her in a motherly way to hold myself like I do to all my children I adopted during my years. It felt amazing. I knew today's episode was going to be special when I heard Jay Shetty. I had no idea how impactful it would be. Thank you for all you do. We all love you too.
♥️
The same thing happened to me as well!!😢❤🥰😁🤯
This man is making me review my entire self.... you're a true mentor Jay, wise beyond your age.
Favorite moments:
27:52 - Being scared of being alone and walking into a relationship.
58:45 - Ownership vs. a relationship.
1:03:08 - Getting them to the next step in their journey vs. getting them to the next step in YOUR journey.
1:08:30 - Loving someone so much that they learn to love themselves.
Amazing interview!
AMAZING!! I'm in my 50s, and have been out of a long-term relationship, and from the dating scene, for quite some time, by choice (or so it's become that story I've been telling myself), I had been on that journey, or quest, at times, going through all the points mentioned with all the highs and lows and pitfalls, which of course is a natural learning experience of life and love, but at some point decided it was much safer and healthier emotionally to adjust shift my focus away from that. I was doing okay with solitude, although loneliness is always lurking. The last few years (thanks to You Tube) I have been immersing myself more into inner self growth and discovery. This podcast has been such an eyeopener!! It has given me the clarity of what I thought I knew and have learned to this point, but more importantly, has enlightened me to the things I didn't. I feel much more secure about allowing myself to open up to the experience again , when that time comes. Much love and thanks to you both! 💖
Same here, @tigre7739. I'm even older. Good luck to you on that journey! It's both rough and wonderful...
Thank you for sharing your comment I connect with your experience I am also in my 50s, and have exploring and enjoying my solitude and peace. I am making changes with work ( work from home) to enjoy more freedom. I am also moving to be closer to aging parents. And like you a agreed wholeheartedly this podcast is eye-opening in many ways. Great post , I am confident you will have in your life what you desire.
Same here. Your comment is encouraging. I felt something was wrong with me.
Yeah love is in the air waiting for you ! The beautiful thing you will have a balance!
Yeah go for it! The divine working for you!
@@CoachLesley nothing wrong with you! You are complete & blessed!
Jay’s final words brought tears to my eyes
this episode is simply unbelievable. jay describes life & love in an absolutely profound way. wow wow wow wow wow i’m blown away
Goosebumps
Couldn't be more profound! He has such a comfortable way about him, it's so easy to understand what he means. Great connection between you two. Thank you for having him!
Most con artists and narcissists are very talented at “calming” their victims…. th-cam.com/video/SLXOcyxCl6U/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/Nfu4j7EIGqs/w-d-xo.html
Bravo! I’m a novice Taoist so I hear him loud and clear. I’ve changed so much with all relationships because of its teachings. I’m now in a loving relationship with someone who was my friend first for 3 years before moving to the next step. We are still friends first with some extras 😜. Love this podcast!
Come on, like, this is gold! ✨ Even though he has given a lot of interviews, each one has its magic. And Mel does a great job! Amazing 🤩
Jay and my husband are both from India. They both have the same beautiful brown eyes, black hair, body heighth, weight, personailty, good heart...etc. When i see Jay on a pod cast it always makes me think of my precious beloved husband. so God has blessed me 100% very much. And I know that i am a very blessed lucky lady to live on this earth at this moment in time...❤❤🎉🎉
An Excellent Podcast and interview! I walk away with the quote I once heard! I am NO LONGER .. Hussling for Love!!! It is toxic and unhealthy! Thanks for being such a bright light in our every day and week Mel! 🎉❤😊
❤❤ ❤ bless you
This has to be the best podcast episode I have ever listened to/watched. I shared it with all my loved ones. Amazing!
I'm excited to listen today, thanks for the WARM COMMENT!!!
@@taneeshashaw7347 Hope it serves you 🙏
He is so humble and simply an amazing Human! Very nice to have someone so sweet!
What a great meditation. I love Jay Shetty. He is so genuine and speaks the truth in such an unassuming way. Inspiring
I just knew this interview would be GAME CHANGER
Love it ! THANK YOU Mel & Jay ✨
Mel, you have helped me activate my own self acceptance. I get a lot out of tuning in. Thanks.
I absolutely love how honest Mel is.
When he dives on respecting values, it was AMAZING and such an eye opener... its nothing about not wanting to take part in their value, but respecting thei passion as it comes and how they feel about it.... just... wow
That last part of the video made me tear up🙈 great video, I have so much growing to do when it comes to being with another person but I have to learn about myself first before I do that.
Mind blowing episode 🔥should be listened by everyone 💓
I cried so much! Happy relieving tears! I loved this so much! I listen to jay all the time i always get something of quality from him! I look forward to my healing journey!
WOW!! The bombs that Jay dropped in this episode is AMAZING. Mind blown and will be re-watching to get it all. Thank you so much.
Respect, respect, respect 🙏🏽
Number 1 essential factor in determining the success of any relationship in my opinion!
When he started talking about the two words for loneliness but only one is mentioned in the English language. I knew he was talking about Solitude because I live in a life of solitude and it was only in the last few years that I really started to embrace that and it's a wonderful feeling I'm not lonely at all. I have been asked and I have also been told I'm broken or if I think I'm broken have I given up or why did I give up there's somebody out there for me and honestly I'm happy. I'm okay in my solitude it's peaceful and I indulge in it. So many people say that human beings are not meant to live their lives alone. Not all human beings are meant for communal living not all that are alone are lonely or sad or missing an aspect of their life
I seen a quote a few years back and it was so powerful, I believe this is what he is saying!
“Don’t commit to me, commit to evolving, and I will meet you there”
WOAH!, DEEP !! ❤😮😮👏🏼👏🏼
My two greatest hero’s, voices of reason and my inspiration! THANK YOU both!
A year late but still needed! I have this book, hard and audio, I keep starting and stopping because it's been hard to do! But this podcast has made me decide to finish it. I deserve to truly love myself! Thanks Mel and Jay!! ❤❤❤❤❤
I LOVE everything about Jay Shetty… great messages and his communication style is so genuine. Thank you!!! ❤
That meditation made me cry
That young boy already had so much pain in his eyes
Two of my favorite life guides at the same time. I didn’t search for either of you. I arrived on accident. So thankful I did. Amazing 🤩
Thank you so much ❤
Here is another accident…th-cam.com/video/Nfu4j7EIGqs/w-d-xo.html
This was fantastic. Please bring Jay back. Mel, you are the best. ❤❤❤
I cried I smiled I laughed. Mel. You have been the most inspirational communicator I have ever known. Jay, thank you for bringing joy to my day.
Got this book before I knew who he was and then I ran across a podcast and was like WAIT 😮 THATS JAY SHETTY 😂 AWESOME PODCAST and great interview thanks y’all ❤
Oh my goodness I was crying in that meditation with my younger self 🥺🥺🥺
I keep replaying the meditation part of the podcast, am going thru my hardest breakup I have ever experienced at 32, Jay is right the more detail in the visualization the better you can love that younger self and the younger self has so much to say
This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it th-cam.com/users/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.
This is the best thing I have ever heard and as the mother of 4 daughters, it is everything I want my daughters to know as they move forward in their life and relationships.
@53:49 ..."you have plenty of time...the speed will make it break" -- that's GOOD!
He is amazing person jey ,
Total lightbulb moment for Mel at 14 minutes. She will now be enlightened to an unbelievable relationship with her hubster 😻
Wow what a great episode! Brought tears to my eyes during the meditation part.
I can’t thank you enough for bringing this episode with Jay! This blew my mind so many times especially the last bit … I am in a pool of tears..
I have been married for almost 39 years. We have been working on it. You speak so clearly. Thank you Jay. You are so authentic. I love you and . Thank you Mel.
Yes I resonate with what Mel shared. This reminded me of myself I can admit and share my vulnerability when I feel insecure I would admit my fears to my ex girlfriend but she didn't understand my sincerity and my vulnerability
Not even 20 mins into this, and I'm stunned at how much I didn't know I didn't know! This is so enlightening. Thank You.
He has the most amazing eyes. Thats just an observation people!!
I love this profound insight. I am 56 and I am so open to continue on my quest of inner work and all I need to learn I am so open to educating myself to what makes more sense this is incredible information for me and everyone watching and listening I love it ❤ I thank Mel and her beautiful guest he is a true teacher of life and love I am intrigue by his research on love
I learned so much through this interview! I could watch it again and again. That you both for sharing yourselves ❤
The Greeks have 8 words for love. It’s fascinating to understand that it’s a lot more than romance
Mel & Jay - my favorite people on TH-cam ❤️❤️
Absolutely thought provoking. Thank you.
Woah! The meditation was great! I never knew I had so much pain from childhood, cried while doing that. I’ll definitely visit her again to give her more love and comfort. Thank you so much Mel and Jay for doing what you do.
THANK YOU 🙏 THIS IS A MIND BLOOWING PODCAST ❤
Very authentic thank you both 💓
Absolutely loved it guys !!! ❤
45:13 omg that’s so true
Powerful! Thank you!!
The exercise of meditation felt so good brought tears to my eyes should’ve done that along time ago
Only at 9mins in and that is the BEST understanding of “Love,” and the journey of the feeling of “Love” and how it matures. Thank you!
I’m blown away by this excellent teaching. Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Jay n Mel❤❤
What a great episode!!!❤
Love the definition of guru!❤
It's so funny they've talked about that. I had a lot of first dates when I felt like interviewing my date or coach them. I never felt comfortable with it and I was totally aware of this was the first and last date. I felt kinda used even when I decided to take the train and play along. This is absolutely not a good start. This interview is soo amazing 🔥 Thank you for everything 🔥
Thanks, very deep😢
Mind Blowing ...
So much love and gratitude for Jay Shetty and the wisdom he shares 🙏🏼💞
BEAUTIFUL 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you both for all you do ❤️
Thank u so much both of you🙏😇❤
Love this!!!
I was cooking and lessening to this beautiful conversation. And when it finish I thought that the information here is like having a delicious juice meal in front of you and is important to eat it slowly and enjoy every bit of it.
So I need to listen it again and again to let the nutrition that is in be absorbed by my heart and mind.
Thank you guys for this podcast.
Beautiful episode thank you ❤
Thanks!
This was great!!!
❤️❤️❤️ WOW!
Thank you Mel and Jay! ❤️ I'm at loss for words after this deep talk. The entire talk was like a meditation. Love you both!
This was such a good episode, I really needed to hear… well all of it. Thanks Mel 🥺
I absolutely love when you stop, Mel!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤ it’s exactly how I think but you do it in such a great way!!!!
Wow love this
I am so happy for this collaboration.
I love this soo much.
Smart lady miss Mel Robbins no words ma'am
Awww cried too at the meditation.. thanks both for your L💚ve..
i just watched his conversation with Drew Barrymore. what a beautiful open conversation that was as well!
I absolutely love this!! Thank you so much you guys!!
Mel I love you!!! thank you for the amazing work that you do for uplifting my spirits when I need it the most❤
I love you Mel for acknowledging your feeling about your husbands goals with his goal.GOD bless you for being open about this
I'm full of love right now... thanks to you!!!!!... Love you both!!!!!
Wonderful! Been waiting for this book and this was an awesome interview!
This was SO good! Thank you 🙏
Found this wisdom during separation 😭😭😭 thank you so much 🙏🏻 we need more of this clarity
Unexpected that…! Such an opening during the meditation 😮
Thank you so much !
Thank you Mel and Jay! This podcast was truly eye opening! I saw myself in so much of what you said about love and relationships ❤️ I realized just how much my childhood has affected the way I show up in my marriage and the over analyzing of my husband 🥹 Love is truly individual and we all experience, share and show love in different ways. I realized that my husband has the qualities that my parents didn’t give me as a child (security, support, comfort) and that’s what made me fall in love 😍