Experts weigh in on the psychology of romantic regret: "It sticks with people"
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.พ. 2024
- Whether it's related to romance or not, regret is a near-universal human feeling, according to author Daniel Pink. For his book on that subject, Pink collected thousands of lovelorn anecdotes from people who say they wish they'd done things differently - sometimes, in relationships or missed connections that happened many years ago. Correspondent Susan Spencer chats with Pink, author Deborah Copaken and The New Yorker's art critic Jackson Arn.
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Real regret is having someone who wants you and you let them go. Only to realize months/years/decades later…that you should have never let them go. THAT is regret.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yes!!! I wish I let the only man who truly respected and treated me right a chance...I now have dealt with really terrible men and a man that treated me horribly last year and then laughed about it. I regret not knowing how to recognize the gold I could have had in the past. Sadly, I don't ever see a future meeting a man that will treat me with true kindness and genuine respect again...as now everything is a meat market on dating apps now.
This.☝️
Yes, and I feel I keenly.
@@Yahookudieverything happens for a reason and there are plenty of times when we think someone who truly respected us and treated us well will always do this when in reality people change, get bored, fall in love with other people, etc. my point is don’t beat yourself over it cause you truly don’t know a person and they always treat you good in the beginning. They could have ended up even worse than those terrible men you encountered.
Nostalgia becomes romanticized because we filter out the bad over time and only remember the pleasant.
Not always. A trauma bonded relationship does not invoke good memories.
So true
@nancy
Exactly. A lot of maturity deals with being able to appreciate the good and the bad so that you have a holistic view of the person/event. Whenever I hear stories about romantic regret I roll my eyes b/c the person is imagining an idealized scenario with that person which is not realistic at all. To me it signals a lack of maturity...
Yes, but after researching them on Facebook, you realize there was a ton of unpleasant that you did not see. And that, "it was not meant to be," "everything happens for a reason," and "thank goodness fate stepped in to save me from myself."
"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." - Ann Landers
😂😂😂😂
Lmaaaooo
The last one lol
Yikes 😂😂😂😂
It all comes down to life being tough no matter our situation and it signals that we should be thankful for our present life and all that comes with it!
My #1 regret was at 19 I acted head over heels over someone and humiliated myself
I'm sure they were flattered by the gesture at least.
They’ll never forget you. Regardless what they think of you lol
I'm sure you didn't humiliate yourself! You were 19 and you had that enthusiasm and passion which most young people feel, and which one day many decades later, you may not be able to feel again.
It was a learning experience and part of your growth which led you to where you are now.
Honestly I think too many people overthink it and imagine that they've humiliated themselves - but it's what we all do, there's nothing unusual or abnormal or humiliating..
Better to do that than to live as a cold soul
Forgive yourself❤🙂
Appreciate this segment. I pined for someone for eight years, and when our paths finally crossed last year where we were both in the same area, both available; I thought, wow, everything that happened it was now meant-to-be. Before we could be together, he suddenly died at age 42. Not a day goes by I don't think about this regret; what our lives could've been, even if our relationship didn't last forever. But as the segment mentioned, I need to figure out a way to learn from it and make changes.
I am glad you found one another again, however, it's truly heartbreaking 💔 he suddenly passed away - I'm so sorry. May you find love again --- that truly lasts ❣️
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry that happened!
I think the only regrets I have regarding my past relationships, is not ending things sooner when I realized I wasn't being valued or respected. And being quick to anger in my responses in stead of calmly asserting myself. But every relationship or 'situationship' taught me something about myself and helped me grow into who I am now. I'd like to think I've become a better person because of them.They helped me not idolize what we see in movies and social media anymore.
Some people just don't have a soulmate, some people are meant to be alone during their lifetime, and some people aren't meant to find someone until later in life. Doesn't mean they don't deserve to find someone, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. I've been much more at peace and understand that even though love is work, it's not supposed to be hard when you're with the right person. If I'm meant to find love, I'm just letting the universe orchestrate it while I focus on my platonic and familial relationships. I put those at a much higher worth now!
I also regret not ending things sooner in past relationships, especially the first one. God I think of the first one & idk why or what I saw in him. He was dumb, disgusting, sexist, & a pig. He was a selfish narcissist & abusive to me
I could have written this too. Thanks for sharing.
Couldn’t agree more. I’ve adapted this philosophy over the past few years and it’s honestly so freeing
I’m lonely but not being spat upon. There is a peace in that.
Narcissists have no regrets; they just move on to the next victim.
Hey, don't talk about women that way!!!
Very true
That is overly simplified about narcissists and sociopaths. They come in lots of flavors. The enlightened definitely have no regrets, since they know there was no other path to where they are.
They do have regrets but they try to do anything to push that feeling of shame away by moving on so fast.
They know what they’re doing is wrong but until they hit rock bottom, they will never change
I've been on love's battle field for a while now being slightly over 60. To my surprise my latest regret comes from not showing interest to a charming handsome man that visited the shop I worked at about 1.5 years ago. We talked and talked, there was definite chemistry. He touched my arm to say thank you at one point but not in a creepy way but tenderly and warmly. He was with his grown daughter and grandchild. I saw no wedding band and wanted to know if he was single, available but I was too shy and not clever enough to obtain such information without being too forward. That encounter still haunts me in the best of ways. ❤
This story reminds me not to give up on love. I'm 52 now, and I just met a new female friend.
I'm 33 and I gave up. 9years of relationship and suddenly he wants out wtf
@@soonsuicidalI’m 33 next month. You can be with me baby 😛💯
I regret investing so much of myself. I was raised to give 100 percent, and I give until I am depleted. 😢
I went through this as well. I have been facing so much age discrimination in the workplace. Supportive friends convinced me t
That the 3 times I was let go over the last year or so was more about them than me. This I know: there is no percentage in giving your all. Others think what they think. They rarely have the whole picture. You did your best. Now you can walk away.
Me too. I poured myself into my abusive ex husband and wish i didn’t. But i have no regrets. I blame him for everything and i know i was a good wife. But going forward i won’t give my heart that again to another abusive man.
It’s okay to give 100% it just not ok if it’s one sided. Sometimes we have to unlearn some habits and start over.
💯 this OMGs
My only regret in all past relationships was not loving myself more. All the men in my past took me for granted and cheated on me, especially my first bf who I thought I loved him so much at 18/19/20 and ended up begging him back when he dumped me. what a loser I look back at that girl. now at 30, I'm in a healthy loving relationship with a man who protects, provides and professes his love for me every chance he does. he makes me feel so loved. this only came when I stopped dating men, started building up my confidence and self value, he showed up.
If you're a pretty girl eventually someone will show up, lol
“Loving yourself” is such an overused and useless comment. Makes no sense and people say it struggle to articulate what they truly mean. You can’t love yourself no more than you can hate yourself and vice versa. All you can do is accept reality, however this has nothing do with loving one’s self.
@@terrycrews1760 hey terry crew no one asked for your opinion, so I don't really care
I thought your comment was wonderful and inspirational. I'm 45 and working on self-love and treating everyone around me with dignity and respect ❤. It's going to be a long road, but I hope to be the next person telling everyone about finding true love ❤️.
@@terrycrews1760you can go to therapy to figure out what it means to love yourself. This comment feed isn’t gonna do it.
I regret dating my exes
Missed opportunities, "Coulda, shoulda, woulda." We all have them. It haunts us all.
We romanticize the past❤❤❤we forget the truth bc the truth hurts❤❤❤
A man will move mountains to be with the woman he loves. That guy would have knocked on every door looking for you if he wanted you bad enough.
As a relationship coach and reconnection expert: when someone or something is meant to stick with you it will.
I believe in going after what you want, I also believe in not looking back. It wobbles the soul.
He will move mountains if he is strong and healed.
If someone is currently in a mental crisis, or if they have never matured, they don't yet practice self love and cannot yet love a partner.
After they heal and grow, they can.
The seed of love can grow over time.
It isn't always true that because in earlier years, he/she didn't try that much, they will never love you.
A woman should also prove that she can do everything for her man.
So nice to see you here, Adrienne! Huge fan of 5 yrs! Also in your fb group!
When it comes to love, I deeply regret not saying goodbye to a boyfriend I had while studying abroad in Paris years ago. He was in love and I was afraid to say good bye so I just left. I am so sorry, Didier. I was younger and stupid-er.
Romantic regret is…romantic, that’s why people cling to it. The energy would be better used to given your all to what’s in front of you in a lot of cases
That’s deep. I like it.
I regret not leaving sooner and a multitude of situations! Romantic and otherwise.
The only regret I have is that my husband died suddenly after 23 years. And I am alone.
Susan, I’m so sorry for your loss. 💕
It's a terrible loss but you had all those wonderful years together which so many people don't have, and who would wish to have had.
And at the same time, there are a lot of unhappy divorces and breakups which leave people with a lot of unhappy feelings and trauma.
Now you have to adjust to life without him, but it's a new, fresh chapter in your life. Enjoy your time now to do exactly what you want. If you get into another relationship you won't be able to do that so value this time period in your life.
I ignored red flags 🚩 = much regret, and trauma. Time to heal! 💪🏾
I’m suspicious of people who claim they don’t have any regrets.
I.e. trump
Regret is a complete waste of time. All of your experiences, good and bad, made you who you are today.
this segment is not about not having ANY regrets - just romantic ones - so there's that - and while I do regret some things, I don't have regrets in love as I keep learning and that's what it's about
@@rebeccaa2433 nope. Some people need to regret running someone over with a car, or cheating and giving someone STI
I have none and neither does my wife, together since 18 and 58 today, married 36 years. I get the suspicion because it is very rare lol. Yes I had a couple gf's that I remember fondly (that's different to regeret), but my wife leaves them in the dust : )
In 82, I met a young man who I felt a connection with on many levels. I knew him for awhile before we actually went out. But the date wasn’t the greatest and there was miscommunication on both sides. I never saw him again after that. I regret not contacting him - I was hurt and angry but sad for the door shutting. Stubborn as I was, I decided to let him make the first move which didn’t happen. I don’t think we were meant for each other but there was something about him that never really left my heart. Many years later, I learned he got married in 1985 and the marriage has lasted. I also met someone else and have been married 37 years. I wish in my youth I had reached out - I might have been able to spare myself the hurt and regret I felt over that experience as a 22 year old girl. But not because I feel I “lost out” somehow - more because I liked him and was sorry to have lost the connection, even if it had fizzled out on its own over time. But it is the young 20 something I remember, in that short span of time, and he was unique. I hope life treated you well, JZ.
Valentine’s Day can be such a touchy and often sensitive or sentimental holiday, regarding those out there who are either single, or a couple who has their love on the rocks.
Hate to burst her bubble, but I don't have 'The One Who Got Away' in my past... and I'm in my 6th decade - happy as can be without having 'my person' - still open in case they do show up. But for some of us, life has different thing in store - we cannot control things out of our control
Valentine's day is overrated. If you love someone you should express your love and feelings every day of the year in the simplest of ways. My regrets would be that time has passed which is so valuable and no way to get it back, and that usually happens when you are young. But wait... tomorrow is another day and the future is what you make it!!!
I balance regret with just moving forward.
Or beer....
If you didn’t take a chance on something or someone at the time, it’s because you had doubts. Don’t second guess yourself.
I met someone in 1978 in NYC, my first professional job.he a NYU law student about to graduate and begin his professional career in Stanford CT..is was fireworks at the first meeting; followed by his appearance in a suit and tie and a dozen red roses delivered in person to ask for a first date. Then the struggled ensued, i was seeing my college boyfriend-Dr in training via long distance...it wasnt good timing in general..boyfriend and I broke up 2 years later..to this day I regret not moving forward with law student..my lifelong regret.❤
Don't worry, he went down with the Savings and Loan scandal. Saved you prison visits.
Only because it didn’t work out with your Boyfriend at the time. Sounds like you may have had a meal ticket in mind since you mentioned their future occupations. I could be wrong though!
Such snarkiness...no need for meal ticket with either love interest...made my own way successfully..comparable likely to their professional success!
Usually women are enthralled by a bad boy in youth and regret dissing the nice guy with roses. Your story is fairly common even if personal.
But don’t regret…usually the nice guy, the guy with the roses on the first date, would not excite you like the bad boy and it would have ended in divorce/infidelity. You would have been frustrated as he worked and led a rather boring life.
That is…you made the right decision whether you know or regret it or not.
Ya see…I was the guy with roses and i regret being the nice guy. I wised up at 40, divorced and did my mid life crisis with no regrets.
Good luck.
Hmmm...you appear sad and bitter..good luck to you and the choices you are making,.i hope you find a happier life.
I lost the love of my life in 1988, after a phone conversation in which we had misunderstood one another. I thought at the time she was telling me that she didn't want to continue things, and only 35 years later did I have the realization that we had actually misunderstood one another. I have been sick over it for months now.
I just got rejected like hell and he’s been my biggest crush for 17 years, I’m filled with regrets.
You shoulda got that out the way sooner
I believe love lost imprints on our hearts ❤️ -
I've used social media to reach out to an old crush. Turns out it wasnt meant to be 😢 but now I can move on and not keep thinking about what if???
Oh I have a regret. Getting married.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that ... but don't sacrifice YOUR life just to stay for the sake of keeping up appearances or out of guilt ~ life is too short! Wishing you well ❤️🩹 ...
Whoopsies.
@@ShellyBombSure, treat your family and marriage like buying an ugly sweater on sale. 😂
@@carrington2949 What?!? I am not sure how my previous response turned into your snarky reply?!? 🫡
I'm impressed that people post these types of statements online. I wonder if John Jones is a pseudonym.
I read a comment that made me see things differently: That people are a waste of investment or investing in people is a waste a time. There's other things that could perhaps make you happier. Solitude is a major strenght that the majority of some could not attain. Love yourself, first. It took me 15yrs to finally understand what that meant. There's much too much happening in the world of opportunities to be infatiuated on one person alone.
This also helped me out by a younger man from a foreign country I worked with, but wise and knowledgable. You weren't made for the world, the world was made for you. Hope this simple message reaches someone in need of some closure.
As an Artist that Loves a few Artists this Resonates with me! It's reflected in ways the masses may feel but never see, use regret to make Healthy changes 🌹🎶🎭💜🌎
Everyone always has regrets of stuff you thought of doing but didnt , Thats universal. Larry
The only regret I have is not telling someone that I loved him the night he took his own life. I wanted to make it "special" and say it the next day, in person. I never got to. That's something that I can't fix. But given that it happened when I was 16, I definitely put it to good use and never again held back my feelings. I think my incredibly happy and healthy relationship now, over a decade later, is as wonderful as it is partly because of that. So I can agree with the people interviewed here, such good points.
I’m sorry you went through that truly heartbreaking. I’m glad you were able to find purpose and meaning despite the circumstances ✨
I’m sorry for your loss. 💕
I like the poem, Remember, from Christina Georgina Rossetti which I will paraphrase here...
"Remember me and you will see, but if the darkness and corruption leaves a vestige of the thoughts that once we had, better to forget than to remember and be sad"...
A couple 100% united in a love so overwhelmingly strong, if allowed to thrive, literally has the power to change the world.
Since there exists in the world equal and opposite forces to not allow this kind of love to thrive or even exist in the first place, we must be wise in this regard so as to know what we're up against to weather the storm when it eventually arrives.
"Those who pray together, stay together"
This one was great. Thank you!
I used to regret cutting off the only man I’ve ever truly felt feelings for. Sadly he was also dating a woman and really only wanted me when alcohol was involved. The hope I clung on to that one day he would leave her for me nearly destroyed me. Then COVID happened and I never saw or heard from him again. A mutual friend told me they are engaged now. I regret blocking him and never truly expressing my feelings. But now I know that sometimes “the one that got away” was never really “the one” to begin with.
I too in hindsight also made that determination.
Now talk about the self loathing rage that comes with the terrible realization of all that you threw away.
Amazing true story in Paris. Thanks.
My regret is that I did not get to meet the anchorwoman I saw doing the news on an Indianapolis TV station one day in 1974 as a 15-year-old while my family were visiting friends in Indiana. I was swept away by her, but sadly figured I'd never see her again. Two years later, a new Today Show co-host was introduced and -- it was her, that same Jane Pauley! Of course I was 17 by then, so those youthful passions of two years before had faded, though I have kept watching Jane ever since, in a more platonic way.
Every artist has a muse ❤
When it comes to love, I made it a point from a young age to do right by people and to never have regrets. I love wholeheartedly and completely, I’ve gotten my heart broken a few times but it helped me to find the love of my life. Now I’m married to him for the last 5 years and I can look back on all my previous relationships with no regrets. I can’t say the same for the guys I’ve dated.
Regret is unfinished grief, and grieving and loving the cause opens us to appreciating the love we had and opening to new opportunities
Love never dies
I've been experiencing romantic regret since last year. In 2022, I met a guy at my local bar who lives a mile away. Long story short, I walked up to him in the grocery store last summer and couldn't say anything to him. No contact information for him. I hope where ever he is, he's safe and happy.
I think its more powerful when you are in a relationship you are unhappy in and you start to think of someone you were with once that you regretted leaving. The problem is that you probably are making that relationship out to be something much more positive than it actually was.
Great segment ❤❤❤
At least I don’t have romantic regrets. Plenty of other regrets though. 😂
Absolutely....
I'm extremely happy after forty years with the most wonderful woman. I don't believe in having regrets, romantic or otherwise, if you're happy in the here and now you don't question the events that lead you here. I did, however, have romantic regrets before I met my wife- one of the reasons I knew she was the right one was how quickly those regrets dissolved.
I regret not dating more in high school and college (too shy or busy), but I don't regret the people I loved. In today's post-METOO audition/social media front/aging parental care world I'm glad I got on board when romance was still relatively pure and fun (the 'wistful hum' found in old paintings is probably partly romantic, mostly the subjects considering the manifold problems in their lives in their own eras. I get that hum at the Met when my phone can't read the QR code to get into the Degas/Manet exhibit :( ).
Romance was and still is complicated and often problematic. Blaming a social movement doesn't solve anything.
0ver 46 years ago I fell deeply in love with an Australian man that I spent 10 days with in Paris and Vienna. I was traveling thru Europe by myself as a twenty-year old. Three years ago, he reached out to me which almost immediately prompted me to leave my troubling 43 year marriage. Since that time, while we have been unable to meet in person, we have had long conversations nearly every night. We feel we are soulmates and we share so much love and support for each other even though we are 6000 miles apart. What a gift!
Did you leave your marriage? I hope you have plans to visit your long lost love very soon - life is short, don't wait or hesitate! So happy for you two 💕
I divorced my husband and happily live in the home I own and am slowly beginning to love myself. Seeing my love in person is something we both want to do, but so far health and financial issues have prevented it. We are trying to be happy for the time being with what we have that is so special. At least we know with all our being that there is one other person on Earth who loves, appreciates and respects us, and that is a wonderful feeling.
He’s married.
@@MargaretMarino-vk4yw Oh, that's wonderful ... Good for you! Whatever works for you two is what is important --- don't lose the connection again 💞 Enjoy your new life - 🥰
@@emerybayblues Oh, then you must KNOW the man she is referring to?!? 🧐 (Please 🤐‼️)
Nancy Kalish did alot of great research on this subject. Well worth reading "The Lost Love Chronicles"
I regret splitting with my daughter's father when she was 6 months old. I went on to an 8 year toxic relationship and he went on to marry my ex best friend. I struggled with that for many years (even while in the toxic relationship) until I finally left and awhile later met my fiancé and found happiness. We were together 5 years until he passed away this past Christmas Day. He was my soul mate, my other half. I wouldn't trade a moment I had with him and it wouldn't of happened if baby dad and I hadn't split, but I still regret it. Not because of feelings or jealousy, we probably would of split eventually anyhow as we met very young, but because I feel like I robbed my daughter of a "normal" childhood. Then again I think it's better she doesn't have memories of us together versus having to go through the pain of us splitting up when she was older.
Now my biggest regret is that love alone wasn't enough to save my fiancé. I am only 35 and the rest of my life without him feels like an eternity.
I regret to have given a chance to one Ex from university, after 15 years, we stayed together for 8 years, and ending up splitting again, he leave me, and even throughout those 8 years, we never been really happy. Lesson: NEVER GIVE A CHANCE
Curious!! Who and what caused the break? And how did y’all rekindle? I’m always interested in reunited love. But I am super sorry on how it came to be ):
As a man, divorce for a man is devastating!! Not so much for a women. Imaging losing your kids and house because she doesn't want to be with you anymore.
I’ve had my heart broken so many times and none of them were my choice so i don’t have any regrets because i was always the one who tried to hang in there. I’ve always been the “dumpee” never the dumper. So i live with no regrets. However i wonder if anyone regrets dumping me. Many of them i would take back in a heartbeat as my love never dies. But now i also am sad that so many people felt i was so disposable. So even though i still love most of them, i know they don’t deserve me and it’s best to just be happy alone.
Regrets are supposed to teach you how to make better decisions not dwell on them.
Grieve and move on.
I regret giving my first love the chance to be my biggest heartbreak because of lack of self awareness and self love. I’m healed from it but I have that memory forever and it should have never existed. BUT I’m grateful because it also allowed me start my self love journey and I e never looked back.
Thank you
Listening to Love Album 💿 off da grid⚡️❤️
I thought he was married to at first. But he is 72 years old and reached out to me just before some life-threatening surgery. Divorced from wife who died many years ago. We are both quite alone.
I, too, have romantic regrets.😢
Thanks
My regret was watching this video and listening to people rationalize their poor decisions to make even more poor decisions smh
I don’t know why this wasn’t spoken about sooner
I regret having ever been in love or pining over any man instead of valuing my real loved ones more. I’ll never let it happen again even if that means I die alone. I wish my grandma was still here.
Same
Interesting video.
I have no love regrets because I’m with my soulmate. I never look back on my exes
Meh, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not.
No promises, no regrets. With hope comes regret. I don't regret anything per se. That said, I regret getting involved with the men I did. When I was younger, I was taken in by narcissistic sociopaths. That path has ended, thankfully, but remembering the love relationship I wanted doesn't go away. I cried for the woman who's guy lost her phone number...my thought? He didn't try hard enough.
I personally disagree that all people are regretful aside from the exceptions stated. If that is true, then all people are not normal and they are the ones that should be examined for illness. Emotional illness is a real thing and the more we ignore it, the more it festers in our communities and bloodlines. I for one have always approached relationships and really any major decisions being mindful of regrets in old age as I have always known that would be a state of despair in old age that I was not willing to live with.
I do not regret my indiscretions in choosing harmful partners because I followed my heart and they illuminated for me what I needed to see about myself, good or bad. I unpacked my mistakes and moved forward with more wisdom. How else are we supposed to learn?
I think when you live a life cowardly and afraid of your heart breaking, you only live a life of despair caused by regrets. In the end, you realize that you never saved yourself any heartache, you packed it all with you and just ignored it. When you are making a decision about love, an internal battle happens between your mind and heart. You cannot tell me that you move forward with ease when your mind wins. That's a lie you accepted as truth or you're a psychopath.
You see your heart is your actual intelligence as your mind is not equipped to see what your heart knows to be true for you. The heart is the CEO and your brain is the COO, if you switch their roles, you will be emotionally bankrupt. Without mistakes that lead to heartbreak, you will never connect your heart to your mind as you will have no way of knowing that your heart only means to give you the roadmap to your destiny. When you learn to trust your heart, or in my case, I have never been able to shut my heart out as it was always louder than my brain, then you live the best life you could have lived as it was driven by your destiny and not your fears. When you look back and discern the brain option, you ALWAYS find that you made the right choice and that is why it's not a regret. Your mind finally understands why your heart was tugging you from the dangers of your logic because the circumstances known by your heart played out for your mind to catch up and use logic.
I hope you live a life of love as that is a life lived with courage and grace. The alternative is truly hell as it only gives you ease to enter and thus a delusional sense of security, but it will never allow you to have any peace.
Wow, so good! You should write a book!!! Is there any book recommendations on how to tap into your heart better? This comment was really worth reading :) thank you
Thank you!@@noura.4892 . I honestly do not have a book to recommend as I have only shared what I experienced and observed others experiencing. I hope my comment serves as a reminder to look within for the answers. We are all capable of seeing the truth of who we are when we choose to do so and sit long enough to unpack our own experiences. Once you do that, you will be able to see everyone for who they truly are and not for who they pretend to be or you want them to be :-)
My friend told me to "do something for yourself". And I made a wonderful discovery in science.
A growing majority of modern women are ENDLESSLY attached to everything but love, children, family, etc.
Seriously guys, do not get married with the govt. Have women and her parents pay for any "wedding".
I don’t believe he lost her phone number. He had years to get his story straight, and probably knew exactly where she was all those years. (Speaking from experience)
I don’t think so. His story and agreeing to meet her is more plausible than your scenario.
This is pathetic to me actually. People are entering into marriages without having processed past relationships? Immature, gross.
I’ve never wanted a romantic partner that I lost back. My only 2 regrets have been trying to make it work and not leaving sooner. There’s no one I wish I stayed longer with.
met a girl in college that i dated for 4-5 years that truly loved me, i ruined that. 3 years later i met a girl that was head over heels for me, and i didn’t give her an honest chance. now i’m all alone and the women i’ve recently dealt with have been terrible. i deeply regret those two i let slip away.
All you need is love ❤️
That’s why I have Jesus. He will NEVER let me down. 💕
I don't know why am I watching this as single person for whole 22 years of life but yeah 😂
True.
My past seems to be littered with regret of those who got away from Beth, Caroline, Nikki, Laurie, Joanie and Julie. Now it’s easier being single at 61 in lieu of more heartbreak.
Fortunately, I don't have any romantic regret. Although, I understand the sentiment.
I am familiar with Dan Pink's work on this topic and I have always disagreed with him. I don't have regrets, and I am not a sociopath. I have been characteristically and earnest made the best decisions I could with the information I had at the time, that is the most I can ask from myself. I am human.
Like your take on the topic.
Yes, I have a regret and try to reach out on social media and find Chris Yates from Northern California. Never could find him.
Well, he's got the message now. Will be in touch! :)
This wasn't the romantic tale I thought it was going to be. The author was married and dissatisfied, so while remaining in her unhappy marriage, she sought out a man whom she had vacation flings with for a total of 2 weeks in her 20's? And not only did she seek him out, she also arranged to meet with the man! To the surprise of no one, after reconnecting with this "lover" she had this realization that she wanted to leave her husband? The time to reach out to this man was 20 years ago, not decades into marriage and life with someone you made a life-long commitment to. As a 20-something, this is why I'm scared of getting married, giving my heart and soul to a man, raising a family with him, building a life with him, just for him to think of his college spring break hookup when we're in our fifties and decide that he'd like to meet her for lunch sometime.
I regret being mean to my mother the morning before she died, me grumpy and having gotten up late for work, barely a word exchanged before I left. At least I opened the door back open and said bye I love you before she went back to her room 💔🥲
I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m sure this hurts you much more than it does her. She likely loves you from the other side & has no pain from this memory at all. 💕
If she were here now, what do you think she would tell you?
P.S. My kids behave this way sometimes and I understand when they are having bad days.
It’s so good you stopped to say you loved her.
But you didn’t have to tell her.
She knew that already. ❤
At the end of the day you will only regret the chances you didn't take. Point is use regrets as a means towards progress to the goal. Take every chance you get
The guy in that first story, not showing up, in my opinion, is a huge red flag.
It’s crazy to think if that couple from 1989 had met 10 years later they might have both had email accounts which would’ve been impossible to carelessly lose like a phone number written on a piece of paper. Once you hit the 2000s everyone has cell phones capable of storing numbers.
See some parallels?😢
Been divorced twice. Regret meeting my second wife.
My regret is thinking I wasn't good enough for the good guys.
Interesting.
Show me a person who goes through life with no regrets. Ill show you a person who hasn't lived life to the fullest.
Yes, but after researching them on Facebook, you realize there was a ton of unpleasant that you did not see. And that, "it was not meant to be," "everything happens for a reason," and "thank goodness fate stepped in to save me from myself."
I've looked at Love from both sides now; win and lose and still, somehow, it's love's illusions I recall - I really don't know love at all. (thank you Joni Mitchell)
0:45 sis singlehandedly causing the water shortage -- washing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher and leaving the water running
Think about the ones who stayed, made the lifetime connections, and now hate each other. There's no guarantee that things would have been great with the one that got away. Good partners are everywhere. You just need to be diligent in your selection.
An actor could not memorize her address? Or write it down in duplicate? She's better off with only a fling.❤
Yeah, I'm not buying that explanation either. If it was really important, he would have treated that phone number like a lottery ticket. Or, he could have found her another way.
she was in her APARTMENT , & NOT in a Hotel ! ( if you cared to LISTEN to the report, there was no Internet then ) !!