Wow. Prime example of why proper diagnosis and awareness are so essential. I never knew this was “normal” for people like me and have always felt so guilty and disgusted with myself afterwards.
When I feel totally overwhelmed I think to myself "stop doing all the things!!" and I will put my stress on pause for a moment, clean up, put things away (if I have to) and then sit quietly in a place away feom everyone and everything and just PROCESS. Since I'm a person of faith I will often go into my walk in closet which I also have a storage seating bench and some fake candles which look really pretty and I will just sit and pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father and I always endnup feeling SO MUCH BETTER afterwards. Often I will journal as well after as I feel like getting all my thoughts down on the page has purged them from further rumination.
I always thought I was insane or mentally ill... I always thought I was alone... I have been diagnosed with Autism and ADD last year and when I saw a video how I reacted was normal, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Mixed emotions of relief but also anger of all the times I had to hear I was lazy, weird and just not as good and maybe not as smart as my peers. When I was 16 I was no longer allowed to study maths and science because it was "too difficult" for me. Appears I have a an IQ of 118, but I couldn't focus on all those questions. My grades were 20% lower just because I didn't read the question properly and I I got scolded with "you should have been more alert" .... oh well, what's done is done. I am battling daily with my uncertainty and hope to achieve enough self-confidence to be able to find a partner and love. Because lacking self-confidence as a man is not sexy... 😢
Major reason why for the longest time I though I'm not autistic was thinking I don't have meltdowns, but I imagined them being very different, like crying, swinging back and forth, etc, but I completely relate to this video. Even growing up I remember spending tons of time outside and oftentimes playing the piano in half darkness because no electric lights felt soothing and the piano was my best friend.
I can relate to feeling out of control. It takes a lot of work to manage my mind, but when I'm in meltdown mode, I can't rationalize well enough to make sense of things.
Absolutely hate meltdowns. I feel so drained afterwards, and guilty. I end up breaking things a lot of the time too which has costed my parents thousands of dollars.
This was so helpful ❤ thank you! I’ve been struggling to find ways to recover from meltdowns and for so long didn’t know what was happening. I’m very mean to myself during and after and seeing you be so kind to yourself is beautiful 😊 you’re awesome!
I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one. I also hate to make phonecalls during thuis episodes. People don’t understand why you need the badtub so much. ❤❤❤ Thank you !!!
I like to say "I have two speeds, slow and SLOWER" When things get overwhelming for me and I physically can't escape I will take a few deep breaths and SLOW DOWN. It helps SO MUCH!!
I don't know if i'm autistic but I relate a lot to the feeling of needing to be alone, doing nothing, not even moving under a blanket. Showering seems like a good idea too, idk what it's about water that always helps me regulate the nervous sistem... Next week i'm going ask my therapist if there is a possibility of me being autistic because I've been watching your videos and I usually relate to everything you say ❤❤❤ thanks for everything really
The last time I had a meltdown was last week, when I failed to keep one of my Grandma’s Cats inside her house. I threw a hose head against the outside wall, knocked over her recycling bins and threw her garbage bin into some plants. Looking back, I’m quite thankful no one was around to call the cops.
I’m autistic too. I’m 28 and I work at a Christian school with three,four, and five year olds. I’m so amazed that you’re a mom. I like to take baths with a bath bomb, or bubble bath, or epsom salts when I have had a rough week or day at work.😊
I'm told by my now ex that i basically run away from problems and she can't cause she has a kid. We broke up cause i don't talk to him enough. I have such a difficulty at small talk. Like an invisible boulder forces me to not talk unless spoken to. I am self diagnosed with Asperger's. But i think Asperger's mixed with porn addiction which shares similar issues, mixed with past social heartbreak. I've built up such a wall i truly can't deal. The main reason i find it so hard to talk to him is he's ignorant to me needing space. So he's always pointing out things I'm doing..i hate attention. And needs a lot of social interaction. And then there is the fact he's constantly in trouble and i can't do anything about it so i get ill at him for not doing the thing he's supposed to do. And it's just unloading dishwasher. That's all. I have such trouble with what i consider illogical reasoning. But i know i needed to talk more. I was always in the game room. And he's so hyper and noisy. It drives me crazy. I get iller and iller over time talking less and less. When my ex went to night shift, we agreed it would be okay as long as she was okay knowing i have trouble communicating and disciplining him. Now she hates me and blames everything on me. A switch in her brain flipped. I don't even recognize her anymore. I get I'm not the right fit for her. She used to overlook all my flaws. I got lazy over time after gaining all my weight back. I get i need to work on myself. But she acts like I'm a monster and i won't fight for her. I don't believe in taking breaks. She said some hurtful things. When we fight, i just go away cause i tell her I'm not fighting. I'll communicate when she's nice and not talking down to me. Guilt tripping me every word. All it does is make me cold hearted. I'm moving out today. My friend is letting me stay with him. I can't stand change but i can't take the stress of feeling like I'll be homeless any second depending on her mood. And i did nothing but fail as a step parent. I even taken responsibility. But she wants me to hurt i think. And now she calmed down saying we can be friends after telling me to pack my things after i made a bad time joke. But she wouldn't listen when i said i was joking. I dread moving and living somewhere else. But i guess it beats feeling like a monster. She changed drastically after her mom died. She's a neuotypical social butterfly. I'm the complete opposite
Did you pass on autism to any of your kids? My wife as mild to moderate autism all through her family through her fathers side. Her younger brother is high functioning, her uncle is quite severe and her grandfather now with hindsight was absolutely autistic but at the time nobody knew about this. Our doctor simply told us the more kids we have the higher chance one will have autism.
I had a meltdown yesterday 😢 it was bad. I feel really bad cause I was shouting at my sister when she didn’t really do anything wrong she was only reacting to me
I feel I may have crossed into stalking range. Sorry. I don’t wanna be creepy. So many comments on your feed! Just so much I relate to. Thank you. My normally high level problem solving goes in the toilet during a meltdown. I feel utterly stupid. It is usually something small that is the final trigger. How can I lose it over something so trivial? I’m well aware that my response isn’t rational. Shame. In the aftermath, I feel shame. This is one of those areas where a diagnosis is helpful. To put things in context so that these episodes aren’t moments of failure and provide strategies to head them off. I doubt any of us feel good during and after a meltdown. I’m doing better at channeling the ramp up into to something productive…like practicing my drums. Nothing like playing a pattern over and over again to ease the clamoring in my head.
yes! My husband got me a djembe for my birthday and it's so helpful to drum when I'm feeling overwhelmed. You're not bothering me with your comments or anything like that! I assume that when many others on the spectrum, like me, find something that speaks to them, they'll binge it. I did this with Alex Pearson's videos on TikTok. Watched every single one in a day. Sounds like having a diagnosis has helped you work through some of the shame you mentioned you feel when you aren't being "rational." (How do we define rational? And does everyone have a different definition? Lol just a thought.) I hope you can continue recognizing the shame when it pops up and allowing it to fade into the background. Thanks for your comment.
@@MomontheSpectrum I don’t have my “official” diagnosis yet…that Eval is in 2 weeks. I’m still in the “revisiting my entire past history” with the new autistic lens. So I’m really heightened and stressed because all of that is forward in my consciousness. So…autism is my special interest right now. You might go nuts with stimming joy in my house…Kalimba, Djembe, Darbucka, cajón, tongue drum, full drum kit, 4 ukuleles, and more. These things naturally accumulate over the years…so you are just getting started. :-) The most calming thing I do is paint/draw/photography…art of any kind. I feel whole when doing art. Frankly, I use my cameras as a a socializing device. I’m much more comfortable among a group of people with a camera in hand…my protective shield. It is also the only real way I make eye contact. …and thank you for your kindness.
Ooh, it's different for me. When I'm overstimulated or have had a meltdown (crying and punching style) I do not want to do noisy activities. I don't think I have the mental energy to hear instruments or follow a recipe. I usually scroll or look out a window mindlessly as soon as I'm done sleeping.
What was the piano piece you played at the end please? I recognise it and can't think of what it is, maybe Yann tiersen. Well done everybody here for researching breakdowns! I hope they pass quickly x
My boyfriend is a wonderful man but he is having a really hard night and starting to have a meltdown. Can anybody teach me what I should do to be supportive without getting in his way or making things worse. TY ❤
The day before yesterday.. I didn't think I over did the day before.. I guess I did. 👎 Most of the time I know but sometimes I don't... With me it's laying in bed with my weighted blanket or going to the beach and looking for crabs and stingrays. ❤️ (It's a very small Beach in a very small town in Florida so not uncommon to be nearly alone, thank goodness)
I have a low disorder of autism it’s called asd autism spectrum disorder and I’m a one so it’s very low and I have add and i’m 17 and I’ve thought about being a mom and getting married but i’m nervous I’m not gonna find someone who will love me for the way I am
Wow. Prime example of why proper diagnosis and awareness are so essential. I never knew this was “normal” for people like me and have always felt so guilty and disgusted with myself afterwards.
I'm 22 and autistic with adhd and I can't imagine being a mom, you're so awesome and strong! 💗 👍
Thank you! 💪🏻
When I feel totally overwhelmed I think to myself "stop doing all the things!!" and I will put my stress on pause for a moment, clean up, put things away (if I have to) and then sit quietly in a place away feom everyone and everything and just PROCESS.
Since I'm a person of faith I will often go into my walk in closet which I also have a storage seating bench and some fake candles which look really pretty and I will just sit and pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father and I always endnup feeling SO MUCH BETTER afterwards.
Often I will journal as well after as I feel like getting all my thoughts down on the page has purged them from further rumination.
I always thought I was insane or mentally ill... I always thought I was alone... I have been diagnosed with Autism and ADD last year and when I saw a video how I reacted was normal, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Mixed emotions of relief but also anger of all the times I had to hear I was lazy, weird and just not as good and maybe not as smart as my peers. When I was 16 I was no longer allowed to study maths and science because it was "too difficult" for me. Appears I have a an IQ of 118, but I couldn't focus on all those questions. My grades were 20% lower just because I didn't read the question properly and I I got scolded with "you should have been more alert" .... oh well, what's done is done. I am battling daily with my uncertainty and hope to achieve enough self-confidence to be able to find a partner and love. Because lacking self-confidence as a man is not sexy... 😢
Major reason why for the longest time I though I'm not autistic was thinking I don't have meltdowns, but I imagined them being very different, like crying, swinging back and forth, etc, but I completely relate to this video. Even growing up I remember spending tons of time outside and oftentimes playing the piano in half darkness because no electric lights felt soothing and the piano was my best friend.
The most frustrating part is that after all of that I'm gonna be pissed off about how I missed the cues AGGGAIN!
Meltdown is terrible and it makes me feel like I can't have any control on myself. I can't handle it. I always feel miserable.
I can relate to feeling out of control. It takes a lot of work to manage my mind, but when I'm in meltdown mode, I can't rationalize well enough to make sense of things.
@@MomontheSpectrum Thank you.
@@passaggioalivello You're welcome.
Absolutely hate meltdowns. I feel so drained afterwards, and guilty. I end up breaking things a lot of the time too which has costed my parents thousands of dollars.
Same here. I nearly killed people during meltdowns. Stabbed them,choked them,etc. not a fun experience at all for anyone.
@@aspiechan420 excuse me what the fck
@@aspiechan420what the actual hell
This was so helpful ❤ thank you! I’ve been struggling to find ways to recover from meltdowns and for so long didn’t know what was happening. I’m very mean to myself during and after and seeing you be so kind to yourself is beautiful 😊 you’re awesome!
So glad it is helpful to you! I also have a meltdown survival guide on my website
MomOnTheSpectrum.life/resources
I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one. I also hate to make phonecalls during thuis episodes. People don’t understand why you need the badtub so much. ❤❤❤ Thank you !!!
This one got me teary eyed! I haven’t been diagnosed but have always known!
I like to say "I have two speeds, slow and SLOWER"
When things get overwhelming for me and I physically can't escape I will take a few deep breaths and SLOW DOWN.
It helps SO MUCH!!
Fantastic video. I had a really intense public meltdown today. So far wine 🍷 and Mac and cheese 🧀 is helping. SO tired
They will need to come up with a DSM classification for inability to stop binge watching with your vids! 😂
lol Jared. Thanks for the laugh.
at 51 these videos hit hard and i’m just beginning to understand it all .
Been in a rough spot but these videos always help 🙏
I don't know if i'm autistic but I relate a lot to the feeling of needing to be alone, doing nothing, not even moving under a blanket. Showering seems like a good idea too, idk what it's about water that always helps me regulate the nervous sistem... Next week i'm going ask my therapist if there is a possibility of me being autistic because I've been watching your videos and I usually relate to everything you say ❤❤❤ thanks for everything really
thank you for posting this your advice is very helpful to me!
This was so awesome, going to do some of these things as definitely been needing to recover 🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥😸
GOD I HAD THE WORST MELTDOWN OF MY LIFE YESTERDAY AND IT STILL HAS A BIT OF EFFECTS ON ME. I always accidentally ignore the signs 😭
Now I just need a how-to for during work as a nurse on a busy unit 😂 some days are a struggle to keep the mask in place at work
The last time I had a meltdown was last week, when I failed to keep one of my Grandma’s Cats inside her house. I threw a hose head against the outside wall, knocked over her recycling bins and threw her garbage bin into some plants.
Looking back, I’m quite thankful no one was around to call the cops.
Late diagnosed and trying to unpick this. Struggling with it, so much negativity connected to this part of me. Therapy soon though.
I’m autistic too. I’m 28 and I work at a Christian school with three,four, and five year olds. I’m so amazed that you’re a mom. I like to take baths with a bath bomb, or bubble bath, or epsom salts when I have had a rough week or day at work.😊
My meltdowns are me biting myself and feeling exhausted and even sick to my stomach
I'm told by my now ex that i basically run away from problems and she can't cause she has a kid. We broke up cause i don't talk to him enough. I have such a difficulty at small talk. Like an invisible boulder forces me to not talk unless spoken to. I am self diagnosed with Asperger's. But i think Asperger's mixed with porn addiction which shares similar issues, mixed with past social heartbreak. I've built up such a wall i truly can't deal. The main reason i find it so hard to talk to him is he's ignorant to me needing space. So he's always pointing out things I'm doing..i hate attention. And needs a lot of social interaction. And then there is the fact he's constantly in trouble and i can't do anything about it so i get ill at him for not doing the thing he's supposed to do. And it's just unloading dishwasher. That's all. I have such trouble with what i consider illogical reasoning. But i know i needed to talk more. I was always in the game room. And he's so hyper and noisy. It drives me crazy. I get iller and iller over time talking less and less. When my ex went to night shift, we agreed it would be okay as long as she was okay knowing i have trouble communicating and disciplining him. Now she hates me and blames everything on me. A switch in her brain flipped. I don't even recognize her anymore. I get I'm not the right fit for her. She used to overlook all my flaws. I got lazy over time after gaining all my weight back. I get i need to work on myself. But she acts like I'm a monster and i won't fight for her. I don't believe in taking breaks. She said some hurtful things. When we fight, i just go away cause i tell her I'm not fighting. I'll communicate when she's nice and not talking down to me. Guilt tripping me every word. All it does is make me cold hearted. I'm moving out today. My friend is letting me stay with him. I can't stand change but i can't take the stress of feeling like I'll be homeless any second depending on her mood. And i did nothing but fail as a step parent. I even taken responsibility. But she wants me to hurt i think. And now she calmed down saying we can be friends after telling me to pack my things after i made a bad time joke. But she wouldn't listen when i said i was joking. I dread moving and living somewhere else. But i guess it beats feeling like a monster. She changed drastically after her mom died. She's a neuotypical social butterfly. I'm the complete opposite
i just got over a melt down because my mom raised her voice after i was already about to over stimulate
I stop way before I melt down daily
Did you pass on autism to any of your kids?
My wife as mild to moderate autism all through her family through her fathers side. Her younger brother is high functioning, her uncle is quite severe and her grandfather now with hindsight was absolutely autistic but at the time nobody knew about this. Our doctor simply told us the more kids we have the higher chance one will have autism.
Neurodivergence tends to run in families! My kids are both neurodivergent.
An autistic mum, I had to rewatch it to make sure I heard it
I had a meltdown yesterday 😢 it was bad. I feel really bad cause I was shouting at my sister when she didn’t really do anything wrong she was only reacting to me
I feel I may have crossed into stalking range. Sorry. I don’t wanna be creepy. So many comments on your feed! Just so much I relate to. Thank you.
My normally high level problem solving goes in the toilet during a meltdown. I feel utterly stupid. It is usually something small that is the final trigger. How can I lose it over something so trivial? I’m well aware that my response isn’t rational. Shame. In the aftermath, I feel shame.
This is one of those areas where a diagnosis is helpful. To put things in context so that these episodes aren’t moments of failure and provide strategies to head them off. I doubt any of us feel good during and after a meltdown.
I’m doing better at channeling the ramp up into to something productive…like practicing my drums. Nothing like playing a pattern over and over again to ease the clamoring in my head.
yes! My husband got me a djembe for my birthday and it's so helpful to drum when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
You're not bothering me with your comments or anything like that! I assume that when many others on the spectrum, like me, find something that speaks to them, they'll binge it. I did this with Alex Pearson's videos on TikTok. Watched every single one in a day.
Sounds like having a diagnosis has helped you work through some of the shame you mentioned you feel when you aren't being "rational." (How do we define rational? And does everyone have a different definition? Lol just a thought.) I hope you can continue recognizing the shame when it pops up and allowing it to fade into the background.
Thanks for your comment.
@@MomontheSpectrum I don’t have my “official” diagnosis yet…that Eval is in 2 weeks. I’m still in the “revisiting my entire past history” with the new autistic lens. So I’m really heightened and stressed because all of that is forward in my consciousness. So…autism is my special interest right now.
You might go nuts with stimming joy in my house…Kalimba, Djembe, Darbucka, cajón, tongue drum, full drum kit, 4 ukuleles, and more. These things naturally accumulate over the years…so you are just getting started. :-)
The most calming thing I do is paint/draw/photography…art of any kind. I feel whole when doing art. Frankly, I use my cameras as a a socializing device. I’m much more comfortable among a group of people with a camera in hand…my protective shield. It is also the only real way I make eye contact.
…and thank you for your kindness.
@@CinkSVideo Love these thoughts! And your home does sound like a stimming playground! Good luck with the eval process. Hang in there.
I'm 22 and I have autism and I'm moving into my new flat on Monday
Where did you get your weighted blanket from. I want to get ine and that one with the textured dots on looked so good
Ooh, it's different for me. When I'm overstimulated or have had a meltdown (crying and punching style) I do not want to do noisy activities. I don't think I have the mental energy to hear instruments or follow a recipe. I usually scroll or look out a window mindlessly as soon as I'm done sleeping.
What was the piano piece you played at the end please? I recognise it and can't think of what it is, maybe Yann tiersen. Well done everybody here for researching breakdowns! I hope they pass quickly x
I cannot even get out of bed
Sounds like anxiety
My boyfriend is a wonderful man but he is having a really hard night and starting to have a meltdown. Can anybody teach me what I should do to be supportive without getting in his way or making things worse. TY ❤
The day before yesterday.. I didn't think I over did the day before.. I guess I did. 👎 Most of the time I know but sometimes I don't... With me it's laying in bed with my weighted blanket or going to the beach and looking for crabs and stingrays. ❤️ (It's a very small Beach in a very small town in Florida so not uncommon to be nearly alone, thank goodness)
My daughter sleeps after one…
I have a low disorder of autism it’s called asd autism spectrum disorder and I’m a one so it’s very low and I have add and i’m 17 and I’ve thought about being a mom and getting married but i’m nervous I’m not gonna find someone who will love me for the way I am
💯 %
لا اله الا الله وحده لا شريك له, محمد رسول الله
She really tried to tate roll us
🫶🫶🫶
💓🥰
People are turning the spectrum into a spectacle. If getting stressed and taking a step back to be alone is autism, I'm gonna go play blackjack.