@@DanLayton I was legit smiling from ear to ear upon hearing that bit! Following you for so long, I properly felt so happy for you and wholesome to hear that!
Dan just never misses. honestly find it very difficult to name another content creator that nails this cozy chat with a friend but also well put together vibe
I'm a cis-gay man. But I went through a period where I thought of using they/them pronouns because I like to occassionally wear makeup, a dangly earring, paint my nails -- but what I realized later was it's not that I'm unsure of my 'manhood' or 'masculinity' but that I'd been told that if I did those things it meant I wasn't a man. And THAT isn't true. I can do all those things and still be a man who uses he/him pronouns. I should be spending my energy trying to broaden the description of what a man can look like, dress like, rather than trying to be something else because I don't fit some old school definition.
As a cis-woman who does not strive to conform, this is exactly how I feel about gender. Well put. And honestly, what you said is why TERFS are so vehement about their beliefs, they think that trans-idenitfying people are erasing the spectrum of cis-gender expression by defining new labels rather than breaking cis-gender norms, inadvertently pushing traditional gender norms onto cis-identifying people. And while I understand that perspective, I have come to learn of the pain that society has caused a lot of people, and believe that individuals should be free to identify however they please. In the same way that gender norms only affect you if you allow them to, how trans people choose to identify only affects you if you let it. EDIT: I feel the need to clarify that gender norms do in fact affect us all, not just those who "let" them. However, I also think that some people lack both resilience and a strong sense of identity, and that these people are more likely to have trauma informed gender identities. Either way, those actions of individuals which do not cause harm, do not concern me.
Oh I agree with this very much. I'm a cis mostly-straight woman and recently was on a gender exploration which ended where it began, so to speak. I have some enby friends that have been very lovely answering all my questions but in the end I figured out I was happy with my assigned gender. I think it was the gender presentation that I wanted to play with, which in my case didn't affect my gender. I wish everyone could have the space to question and explore this kind of thing safely, whatever conclusion they may come to. And even though I still identify as a woman, I do feel like I've leveled up, having gone through it
just finished the vid. The bit about acting is relatable as hellllll, I graduated from my MT uni degree in 2020 (lol yep) and since then I've kinda lost motivation and am unsure whether I want to actually try to audition, or maybe do a masters at an actual drama school because annoyingly that does help you get a good agent...idk man. I can tell my mum doesn't want me to let go of acting, but I can't tell if I myself want to keep trying or not. Part of me thinks I'd be just as fulfilled if I worked with cats, and then part of me is like "but I actually would quite like to act on screen and be oh-so-slightly famous" 😂 idk. Thus ends my essay, lovely vid Dan thank u
I don't comment on videos very often but that last section was very relatable. Perhaps you can organise a round table discussion. Get handful of friends together on a couch and just see where the conversation goes. It doesn't even have to be exclusively about your identity, it could just be a discussion on the idea of wanting/not wanting to identify a certain way. I only found you through WrestleTalk (your chemistry with Luke is *chef's kiss emoji*) but very much appreciate what you offer as a creator!
@@DanLayton I'm pretty sure a lot of us would love to hear what you guys get to talk about candidly so I'm looking forward to watching it if you do decide to make it into content. :D
There was a boy 5 years ago who stumbled across your channel on the comedown of a small addiction to Tomska. After watching a few videos on your reviews of films, he eventually watched a video with an interesting title, "How are you Not Straight". He got a glimpse of the experiences of someone who enjoys socially ordained "feminine" behaviors and dress immediately being assumed as gay or at the very least queer. Growing up a black kid with a VERY white sounding voice, straight with a "gay way of carrying himself", and attending primarily Catholic schools for most of his life, he was always flustered that skin color an sexuality have stereotypes attached to them that many even within their own communities take as gospel. That video, finally, let him feel unalone. And that may have been all he needed. That boy now is in a strange area (similar to you) where he can't completely imagine himself with someone of the same gender (yet at least), bu is attracted to them to say the least. We all have our terms, but the only one he's every used for himself is "very not straight". And again, maybe that's all he needs. Sexuality is such a strange concept and honestly it may not deserve a constant barrage of attention to figure out where you fit on the pie chart. Thank you so much Dan. Keep flying high.
I do find it interesting that Dan feels like his audience only likes specific things. I've been subscribed for many years now, since I was at least a freshman in high school, and I will honestly watch anything he puts out. Vlogs, baking, film, little chats, I'll watch anything he puts out. I don't know if it's just me, but there's something very calming and comfortable about the way Dan talks and just exists.
You're far from the first person in our age group I've heard say Heartstopper was a real moment for them regarding their own identity. The writing and acting on that show has done so much for so many people in such a short period of time. (Also so happy for you and your partner!)
That last bit hit very close to home. "these labels exist for other people to know how to respond to me" - I'm gonna keep this one close as I go about finding out who I am, thank you for always providing a safe, welcoming space where I can laugh and feel at home. I quite like that we're fumbling about and finding ourselves together :)
As somebody who is currently doing a masters course, I'd really recommend it! There's something about pursuing knowledge that YOU'VE chosen that's kinda freeing in a way, as cringe as it sounds. But just getting to throw yourself into something you're so deeply passionate about is so lovely. Also, telling people that you're studying for a masters is really fun too lol Glad to hear you're doing well tho and congrats on the relationship! From a long-time fan (about 2015 or so) :)))
4:02 the edit here when shrinking the frame definitely fits the "I've got someone and my heart's cozy" energy you're giving. From a stranger on the internet with similar love-life experiences as you've shared on this channel, I am genuinely happy for you and your found love!
Damn, I find your outlook on identity incredibly refreshing and comforting. When people ask me what I am, I understand that it’s out of kind curiosity and concern, but forcing myself to be one way for the sake of a label has caused an awful lot of damage and miscommunication over the years. It’s not fair on me or anyone else involved really. I’ve got to the point now, very similarly to you I think, where I just identify as myself - although I’m nonbinary on paper that’s only because I have very little association with gender at all and it’s the next best thing. Queer is a really helpful blanket term and I like that sense of mischief, it makes me feel like Puck or something slightly cryptic. Sometimes I feel like saying I identify as a bowl of soup because you know what? Who even cares anyway - I’m warm, I’m comforting, I like good food so I might as well be. Anyway, all that’s to say if you did feel like doing a video about it I’d be extremely interested to hear what you have to say, but if you don’t feel like it then that’s fine too :)
"I dont owe you an explanation" is definitely one meaning of queer and definitely one I subscribe to a lot. I absolutely understand the joy of confusing people. They joy of asking why are there boxes in the first place. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You don't owe anyone Labels, or pronouns. you can just go "whatever I don't really care" when someone asks for them. For some people, gender is very important. it's something they can hold on to, identify with, use as a tool or a weapon. And for some people, gender just doesn't vibe. Can we just not. Why I like or dislike things doesn't really have anything to do with my gender. it has to do with Me. to the living alone: it's the best. just having your peace and having your space be your space is great. to the masters degree: try it, go for it. I do believe you're good enough. I do believe youre talented enough, and there's so many people who started their careers way past your age. Your path in life will be your path in life, there's no sense comparing it to others. Just try for the things that you think will make you happy.
So much of what you said about gender and labels and pronouns resonates me and just, thank you? Thank you. It's nice to hear another person say similar stuff. I use bi, genderqueer and they/them because that mentality allows myself to do whatever the fuck I want on any given day presentation/internal identity-wise (because let me tell you, my whole deal so often shifts). I found myself unhealthily obsessively thinking daily about gender and presentation and my clothes/makeup and what to do to "fit" and honestly I'd rather just learn who I am and be comfortable with that person and not put myself in a box. Everything is fluid, and most days I find the less I think about my own gender and just think about *me* , the happier I am. So, completely unsolicited, that's me atm, and thank you for sharing you :) Much love from Toronto 🏳🌈🇨🇦
Yay new Dan video! I think your ideal job with be something like Graham Norton show but a more cosy version with cake/ cooked tasty thing with wine, comfy sofas and relaxing, and interesting people to talk to.
I very much enjoyed this little catch-up with you. It honestly makes me feel like it’s a chat with a friend I haven’t seen in like a year plus. (Also Daniel J. Layton [Actor/pissboiler] will forever remain cannon with me)
As someone who was convinced he was the straight friend of the group up until summer this year, and since have discovered I am not only bi, but on the aro spectrum, I have always watched you and felt represented, the softness never detracting from your masculinity, the genderplay with the outfits and breaking expectations, a shining example of living your authentic self. So when I say that I cried when you spoke about your gender and your sexuality, know that it wasn't just the shared experiences ringing true, or only that I was proud of the courage it took you to say your truth, but it was everything to me and I'm so overwhelmed, thank you Dan, thank you for everything. On another note does the new partner mean less shirtless pictures on instagram 👀
Queer person here :D I don't know if this helps (or if you even WANT anyone's perspective because yours is totally valid) - but for myself, I think the way you talk about gender is EXACTLY why I personally identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. I don't want any of the baggage that people associate with male or female attributed to me - I want them to just see me as an individual person, rather than something to be categorised. For a long time I also rejected labels! ... but knowing about them CAN be helpful in the sense that they give you framework with which to think about aspects of yourself in relation to those labels. Thanks for the vid!
It’s such a small thing but I love that every time Hazel is ever brought up by anyone anywhere for any reason there’s always some question mark or asterix or *look*. Howling
It's not often I venture into reading TH-cam comments as it's generally a bad idea. But I just read through every comment made here so far and just want to say how wonderful it feels to find lovely, warm, like-minded people. It happens so rarely on the internet nowadays. Sending love and good vibes out to everyone here💞
It's so good to hear you say that about labels, i've been of that mindset for a long time - it doesn't feel right to tell other people you are 'straight' or 'gay' or 'queer', why does it have to be tied to anyone's gender or preference? It's just love and attraction, isn't it?
I loved hearing your thoughts on the last section! I think a lot of people get caught up in the idea that you *need* a label to describe who you are, that you need to check off which little boxes you fit into, and for some people that’s defo a comfort!! when I finally landed on calling myself bisexual it felt like something had clicked into place for me and I know for a lot of people it’s the same and for some an even greater sense of euphoria. but I think there’s also comfort just in the being- of being yourself and not worrying about having to find the right words to define that. similar to you, I’ve been having thoughts about gender and I always end up just saying “I’m mostly a woman” and being happy with that! I think that’s the beauty of the word queer and its community: it greets everyone at the door with a warm hug and smile no matter who’s on the other side :)
as someone who's been watching you for almost 10 years (jesus Christ) I do feel like i've kind of grown up with you (I just turned 23) and seeing how happy and confident you are makes me so happy and no matter what/how much you feel like sharing with us i'm sure I speak for most of your followers when I say we just want you to be happy and we're happy to be involved in your life in whatever ways your comfortable with and I look forward to watching you continue to grow and flourish in the rest of your life you have ahead of you (because 32 is not old)
"I and Thou" ' an essay I read in university kind of reminded me of what you said regarding queernes. The essay is not about gender but it talks about how we should look at people as a whole beeing and not try to spilt them into little things and descriptors. That truly seeing someone is seeing them as a whole unique person, someone you can't narrow down to labels. Once you try to categorize people, put them in a box, it automatically narrows your view of them. So I agree with what you said. Anyway, lovely chat, thanks !
I know what you mean about living alone. I'm currently living in supported housing so it's not technically "alone" but I have my own room and kitchen, and it's the most independence I've had in my life. And, honestly, I love it so much. I love that I can just enjoy my own company and do what I want when I want. I'm glad you're doing ok, Dan ❤
Only just now getting to your christmas videos as real life has been so hectic but I let out a truly ecstatic gasp when you said you were happy with someone, all the warm and fuzzy feelings! You would be horrified by how uninterested I am in films but I quite happily watch you talk about them because you make it funny and interesting. Musical theatre Dan is something I'd love to see, I don't think anyone ever feels ready, just go for it!
Your description of feelings about the queer label as opposed to putting yourself in boxes feels so familiar. A fellow queer friend asked me where I was with my gender and sexuality recently and I was just. Flummoxed 😅 and honestly, I’m alright with that. Also glad you’re doing well, and have a relationship that clearly makes you happy!! It’s wonderful to hear ☺️
I would like it known that when I watch these very chatty videos I do in fact pause it regularly and respond as if we are having an actual conversation and some may say thats sad, which it may well be, but I still enjoy it so thank you for being a friend, or at least a parasocial friend
Just like I thought, this was lovely to watch while recovering from last night's Christmas Party shenanigans. You look happy and it's wonderful! :) The way you speak about your girlfriend is so sweet, I can't even feel bitter about being the last Bridget Jones around, and I'm wishing the two of you all the best!
I’m so proud of you, Dan, as are so many of us. Even if you don’t like labels (or, like me, are growing to resent them a bit), living without them can still be scary. And it takes guts to talk about it so openly as you have. All this put together makes you so brave. It’s a good look on you.
People love to talk about Alan Rickman going to RADA at 26 (which as someone who is 30 I think is not particularly old at all, even for the world of acting but I'm also not an actor so...) but there are loads of actors who started in their mid to late 30s and had full on careers before they started acting. Also people look to film stars but there's plenty of people who do theatre stuff for a living that maybe aren't huge stars but earn enough to have it be their full time profession. I absolutely do not think you should give up your dream of being an actor.
I identified as Bi since I was 15 but now, as a 23yr old, I find that Queer fits me better. Like you, I like the ambiguity and vagueness, because yes, I'm attracted to guys, girls and anyone who doesn't fit that, but my gender at the minute seems to be "??" Still playing with pronouns and my look to see what might fit best for the future, but using 'queer' has somewhat taken the pressure off of it if that makes sense? Just have fun with exploring your identity, it's you that's living it after all! [also a cider that I've found to be amazing hot is Brothers Toffee Apple Cider]
yes yes yes! i’m trans, and pronouns are so important to so many people within the community. it’s great for trans and cis people to have their in their bios and email signatures but we can’t force people to. in my opinion. i don’t always do it, because i feel it will out me. and like you say, some people don’t want to label themselves or aren’t sure of things yet. i feel like some people get too pushy sometimes, we can stress the importance whilst also respecting not everyone wants to/can for a number of reasons
and i’m glad to hear you’re doing well, been following you since 2015 or so. grown up with you i suppose, we met at SITC way back when. happy for you, your videos and you always make me smile :)
That last section- perfection. I’ve never quite been able to put my finger (oo-er) on what/who I am or what labels I should fit into. I’m just Ems, not straight but not gay, not queer but not bi, not questioning but just loving. I am just me, finding myself and going through life and I think that’s more than enough.
It's always great to see your face! I fully get your feelings towards identity. I feel like I'm in the same boat on the other end of the spectrum regarding gender attraction - primarily attracted to men, with the occasional exception. As far as i understood your piece, you're in that mindset except you're primarily attracted to women! Also, you don't ever have to put yourself in a box. Defining yourself under the queer umbrella and not sorting yourself into further little boxes is perfectly valid and it all comes down to what makes you feel more comfortable
Same. It felt so weird when I went onto tumblr, trying to understand it, because most people were just one way or the other. I was sitting in the boat, thinking I'm not 50/50, so why does it feel so awkward at times.
Thanks for the cuppa tea and the chat Dan, you always make us feel at home, and it warms my heart to hear you talk about the things you got going on with such excitement ❤️
Happy that you're happy with someone and glad to hear you talk about your thoughts about how hosting is something you enjoy and your journey to figure out what acting would look like for you. Good luck on your future applications!
I hate to be “that person” but I do genuinely turn on your catch-ups when I’m feeling lonely or having difficulty motivating myself to socialize, ESPECIALLY during lockdown. You are very easy to listen to and be comfortable with, I could totally see you hosting a podcast where you support people telling their stories. I stan the “straight enough” label too! Thank you for sharing yourself with us and please please keep whatever you want in your life private. Your relationship does not have to be public to be real
I'm really shocked that you never mentioned "The Great British Bake Off" show, or Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry, or doing Ascot. I love how you value the not-so-flashy things in life!
I totally vibe with your feelings on gender, i personally don't really care and just want to exist how I want, and think everyone should get that chance. Honestly if it wasn't for you painting your nails a few years back, I probably wouldn't have considered it myself, and between your exploration of these things and some good friends, I wouldn't have found my own path to where I am now, continuing to explore the things that make me happy with self expression and style
1. i've only heard you sing in one video but you're so good and you haven't even had lessons yet??? 2. i'm def interested in hearing more of this conversation in whatever capacity you're comfortable with! 3. that sweater looks SO good with your eyes
I love the cozy energy and catch up. Genuinely got all happy to hear about the relationship, you getting paid to chat wrestling, and hearing you keep complexity in identity. All so so lovely, glad you're doing alright :)
As someone who is currently doing an acting MA- I also felt very underprepared but do it! You never know what will happen or what you’re capable of until you’ve done it!
✨dan’s a pissboiler✨ But in all seriousness, this was a delight. I am so so happy for you for all the positives that are in your life. It’s amazing to have watched you for 9 or 10 years now, have watched you grow as a creator and AUTHOR?!?! And you seem so content with where you are now, and it brings me joy❤️ sending you and yours love and light at Christmas and for the new year, and I can’t wait to see what you do in the future
Hey Dan! I did my MA in Musical Thetare at RWCMD in Cardiff, if you ever want to chat about audition process, the course and general vibes, let me know. My best pal did her MA at Mountview too, so if you want a bit of a chat about the differences between the courses etc, happy to help. I know it’s something you’ve been chatting about/considering for a while, I definitely found it helpful talking to grads about their experience. 👏🏻
It is so nice to see you happy and confident. Especially that kind of confidence that comes from knowing you are good at something! I understand what you are saying about not wanting to give up your dreams. I'm an artist (singer/performer/writer/producer of contemporary opera) and it reminds me of a conversation I've had with a composer friend. She is most known for her compositions, but also did other stuff. But she said that composing really got picked up so she decided to focus on that. Doesn't mean she doesn't do the other things anymore, but she puts her energy in the thing that works so to speak. And there might come a season where other things might take the spotlight. Just because you focus now on presenting, doesn't mean you'll never be an actor. But focusing on the thing you are good at and appreciated for is not a bad thing :) (Also feel free to completely ignore this if it doesn't serve you right now!)
oh oh also I like your take on labels to challenge people. I use my labels also to challenge people, but the other way around! I'm genderfluid/non-binary and autistic and I dont ''look'' like either of those. Which is fun to watch people react to. Especially the autism, people will throw out little comments about stereotypically autistic stuff and I'll go '' but I'm autistic'' and they will get embarrassed and that is fun (and then I get to talk about my special interest and teach them some things hahaha)
Totally get what you're saying about labels. As a non-binary queer subscriber whose thought a lot about labels over the years haha, I'd say that that labels are language tools for us to use, when we want, if we want. They can be useful for self describing, communicating about with others and finding communities of somewhat similar people. But they can also be limiting at times, not expansive or nebulous as feels accurate and also Often come with a lot of baggage. If you ever want to describe as labels within the LGBT+ community, you are welcome in that space from what you're describing. However, on the days when those labels aren't a useful tool, I totally get it. For example. I've found with my grandparents it doesn't matter to me if they use different language around my gender, because I know they still see me as a messy artist and book-lover. And for me, those labels are more important in that particular space? I think it can also be the case where expression can be so much more important than labels sometimes. (Although labels can be useful in situations where expression isn't showing the full picture). Wishing you the best! Also wow, watching the first season of Pose change my life in terms of self acceptance and personally getting into lgbt+ history, so highly recommend that to anyone exploring their gender identity.
I don't think I've ever commented before, but I've been watching your videos on and off for years (and occasionally comfort binge the Baking with Layton vids when I'm feeling stressed). I just wanted to say that it's so nice to see you look so happy and calm (I might've done an actual little gasp when you mentioned your girlfriend). I've always thought you're incredibly talented and I hope you're acting dream may still come true!
I always enjoy watching your videos, I don't usually comment, but I have been going back to your old videos a lot to watch recently and they always make me laugh and feel comfortable. Hearing you talk about living in London was really lovely as I have recently moved out of London to go to uni, to a vastly different type of place, I do miss it lots. Thank you for all of your videos :)
I've been following you for years and just wanted to say it's been a blast growing up alongside your videos and having a lot of the same life situations
this was a wonderful video :) thanks for the lovely catch up. found myself relating to so much of what you said in this, so thank you dan for helping me feel a little less alone today 🥰 it’s good to see you happy!
Hold on ONE second! I need to pause this in the middle and say: I'm so so happy for you (and her) that you've found someone lovely!!! I hope you make each other very happy, you really deserve it. (Not that one needs a relationship, but you know, if it's real it's right/nice... ^^) And we dont need to know more. Treasure it, enjoy it, thank you for sharing what you share. It really just made me very happy ☺️
I like to put myself as romantically challenged on my love life 😂 pleased that you have found someone also really like this style of videos very open and honest it’s refreshing
Mmmm this felt like a nice cozy hug. I can definitely relate to your feelings of gender. I used to care a lot about labelling myself as bi, but now I don’t really care and I’m happy just floating about as queer. I’ve found it more comfortable to use she/they pronouns these days but can’t really explain why and I don’t want to have to explain my gender to people. Queer feels like a I’m throwing little challenge to everyone else, like ‘make of this what you will but don’t tell me what you come up with ’
Feeling very much the same when it comes to gender and sexuality. I'm very much bisexual but embracing the idea that I'm also just me. So happy for this catch up and so glad you're doing well :D
I absolutely believe that you will be a wonderful actor, and also your voice is wonderful (and I, being in a vocal ensemble and having a very good ear, would know)! Do try, everything that you want to do! I think it is wonderful that you do not lose sight of your dream. ♥️
4:02 so I oped my mouth in excitement and can't close it just yet, so I plan on re-watching this part until the excitement fades away So if anyone wants to connect on a soul level through the frequency of excitement, click on that time stamp :) *Happy for you, Dan!
Lovely to see you happy :) as a trans person, it's certainly more important to me that people are vocal against GCs and TERFS than having their pronouns in bio. experimentation, in private or not, is half the joy of gender anyway
been following you for many years now (10 or so at this point) and I'm so pleased for you re: the partner and things kind of falling in place for you!! thank you for your videos. they always make my day a little better, no matter what they're about.
Awww im happy for you that you’re in a relationship! That made me smile☺️ I really hope you get your big break you deserve it❤I relate to what you said about gay being a bad thing, i really hate the word lesbian for myself so would never use it as it definitely had negative connotations growing up that im never going to be able to shake so I therefore say im gay but even saying that is hard a lot of the time because again gay was seen as a bad thing (especially in the time when gay was an insult about anything) I know its because of internalised homophobia and i do my absolute best to be proud but it is very hard sometimes. Would love to see a whole video on the topic of sexuality and gender as i do find it so fascinating!
Thank you for this wonderful vid. Made me feel like I was listening to a friend chat. You can't even imagine how giddy I was when you said you met someone. You look very happy, and I'm very much looking forward to the next video's. Still very much my nr1 youtuber after all these years 😌
Okay first of all it makes me super, almost unreasonably happy to hear you’re in a relationship. Absolutely love that for you 🥰 2. DO NOT - repeat - DO NOT give up on being an actor. Not now, not ever! 3. I’ve mentioned this before on instagram but as a Welsh girl, it makes me super proud that you’re considering the Royal Welsh, it’s a great school 😁 4. That part about identities was one of the most nuanced and interesting takes on the subject I’ve heard in a long time. Never feel pressured into identifying a certain way and just do you if that’s what suits you. I like that a lot Okay, that’s all. Merry Christmas!
Genuine out loud 'aww, yay!' when you said you'd found someone. Very happy for you. :)
😊
Honestly same, I fully clapped. Another good reason to live alone (no-one to see you be Weird As Heck)
I punched the air, so happy for you dude.
Properly thrilled that you've got someone who makes you happy 😊 😃
@@DanLayton I was legit smiling from ear to ear upon hearing that bit! Following you for so long, I properly felt so happy for you and wholesome to hear that!
Dan just never misses. honestly find it very difficult to name another content creator that nails this cozy chat with a friend but also well put together vibe
I'm a cis-gay man. But I went through a period where I thought of using they/them pronouns because I like to occassionally wear makeup, a dangly earring, paint my nails -- but what I realized later was it's not that I'm unsure of my 'manhood' or 'masculinity' but that I'd been told that if I did those things it meant I wasn't a man. And THAT isn't true. I can do all those things and still be a man who uses he/him pronouns. I should be spending my energy trying to broaden the description of what a man can look like, dress like, rather than trying to be something else because I don't fit some old school definition.
That. Part. 🙏🏻
As a cis-woman who does not strive to conform, this is exactly how I feel about gender. Well put.
And honestly, what you said is why TERFS are so vehement about their beliefs, they think that trans-idenitfying people are erasing the spectrum of cis-gender expression by defining new labels rather than breaking cis-gender norms, inadvertently pushing traditional gender norms onto cis-identifying people. And while I understand that perspective, I have come to learn of the pain that society has caused a lot of people, and believe that individuals should be free to identify however they please. In the same way that gender norms only affect you if you allow them to, how trans people choose to identify only affects you if you let it.
EDIT: I feel the need to clarify that gender norms do in fact affect us all, not just those who "let" them. However, I also think that some people lack both resilience and a strong sense of identity, and that these people are more likely to have trauma informed gender identities. Either way, those actions of individuals which do not cause harm, do not concern me.
@@nathilism preach
Oh I agree with this very much. I'm a cis mostly-straight woman and recently was on a gender exploration which ended where it began, so to speak. I have some enby friends that have been very lovely answering all my questions but in the end I figured out I was happy with my assigned gender. I think it was the gender presentation that I wanted to play with, which in my case didn't affect my gender. I wish everyone could have the space to question and explore this kind of thing safely, whatever conclusion they may come to. And even though I still identify as a woman, I do feel like I've leveled up, having gone through it
discovering there is a difference in gender-identity and gender-expression was such a huge gamechanger for me! btw, i love men with make-up
i am GRINNING from ear to ear listening to u talk about your partner, so happy for u Mr layton
just finished the vid. The bit about acting is relatable as hellllll, I graduated from my MT uni degree in 2020 (lol yep) and since then I've kinda lost motivation and am unsure whether I want to actually try to audition, or maybe do a masters at an actual drama school because annoyingly that does help you get a good agent...idk man. I can tell my mum doesn't want me to let go of acting, but I can't tell if I myself want to keep trying or not. Part of me thinks I'd be just as fulfilled if I worked with cats, and then part of me is like "but I actually would quite like to act on screen and be oh-so-slightly famous" 😂 idk. Thus ends my essay, lovely vid Dan thank u
I don't comment on videos very often but that last section was very relatable. Perhaps you can organise a round table discussion. Get handful of friends together on a couch and just see where the conversation goes. It doesn't even have to be exclusively about your identity, it could just be a discussion on the idea of wanting/not wanting to identify a certain way.
I only found you through WrestleTalk (your chemistry with Luke is *chef's kiss emoji*) but very much appreciate what you offer as a creator!
I love that idea!! We do it anyway, might as well make content out of it…
@@DanLayton I'm pretty sure a lot of us would love to hear what you guys get to talk about candidly so I'm looking forward to watching it if you do decide to make it into content. :D
There was a boy 5 years ago who stumbled across your channel on the comedown of a small addiction to Tomska. After watching a few videos on your reviews of films, he eventually watched a video with an interesting title, "How are you Not Straight". He got a glimpse of the experiences of someone who enjoys socially ordained "feminine" behaviors and dress immediately being assumed as gay or at the very least queer. Growing up a black kid with a VERY white sounding voice, straight with a "gay way of carrying himself", and attending primarily Catholic schools for most of his life, he was always flustered that skin color an sexuality have stereotypes attached to them that many even within their own communities take as gospel. That video, finally, let him feel unalone. And that may have been all he needed.
That boy now is in a strange area (similar to you) where he can't completely imagine himself with someone of the same gender (yet at least), bu is attracted to them to say the least. We all have our terms, but the only one he's every used for himself is "very not straight". And again, maybe that's all he needs. Sexuality is such a strange concept and honestly it may not deserve a constant barrage of attention to figure out where you fit on the pie chart.
Thank you so much Dan. Keep flying high.
I do find it interesting that Dan feels like his audience only likes specific things. I've been subscribed for many years now, since I was at least a freshman in high school, and I will honestly watch anything he puts out. Vlogs, baking, film, little chats, I'll watch anything he puts out. I don't know if it's just me, but there's something very calming and comfortable about the way Dan talks and just exists.
Dude being someone who’s followed you for years, hearing you’re in a happy relationship makes me so happy. Good on you my friend
You're far from the first person in our age group I've heard say Heartstopper was a real moment for them regarding their own identity. The writing and acting on that show has done so much for so many people in such a short period of time.
(Also so happy for you and your partner!)
That last bit hit very close to home. "these labels exist for other people to know how to respond to me" - I'm gonna keep this one close as I go about finding out who I am, thank you for always providing a safe, welcoming space where I can laugh and feel at home. I quite like that we're fumbling about and finding ourselves together :)
As somebody who is currently doing a masters course, I'd really recommend it! There's something about pursuing knowledge that YOU'VE chosen that's kinda freeing in a way, as cringe as it sounds. But just getting to throw yourself into something you're so deeply passionate about is so lovely. Also, telling people that you're studying for a masters is really fun too lol
Glad to hear you're doing well tho and congrats on the relationship! From a long-time fan (about 2015 or so) :)))
It’s things like this that make me consider doing a masters in something wildly different that I just find fascinating haha
Oh mate listening to you talk about ur new relationship I could cry 🥺 love you a lot
I'm a lonely little bean and this video was like a cozy catch up with a friend, thanks for that! 💜
4:02 the edit here when shrinking the frame definitely fits the "I've got someone and my heart's cozy" energy you're giving. From a stranger on the internet with similar love-life experiences as you've shared on this channel, I am genuinely happy for you and your found love!
Damn, I find your outlook on identity incredibly refreshing and comforting. When people ask me what I am, I understand that it’s out of kind curiosity and concern, but forcing myself to be one way for the sake of a label has caused an awful lot of damage and miscommunication over the years. It’s not fair on me or anyone else involved really. I’ve got to the point now, very similarly to you I think, where I just identify as myself - although I’m nonbinary on paper that’s only because I have very little association with gender at all and it’s the next best thing. Queer is a really helpful blanket term and I like that sense of mischief, it makes me feel like Puck or something slightly cryptic. Sometimes I feel like saying I identify as a bowl of soup because you know what? Who even cares anyway - I’m warm, I’m comforting, I like good food so I might as well be. Anyway, all that’s to say if you did feel like doing a video about it I’d be extremely interested to hear what you have to say, but if you don’t feel like it then that’s fine too :)
"I dont owe you an explanation" is definitely one meaning of queer and definitely one I subscribe to a lot. I absolutely understand the joy of confusing people. They joy of asking why are there boxes in the first place.
You don't owe anyone an explanation. You don't owe anyone Labels, or pronouns. you can just go "whatever I don't really care" when someone asks for them.
For some people, gender is very important. it's something they can hold on to, identify with, use as a tool or a weapon. And for some people, gender just doesn't vibe. Can we just not. Why I like or dislike things doesn't really have anything to do with my gender. it has to do with Me.
to the living alone: it's the best. just having your peace and having your space be your space is great.
to the masters degree: try it, go for it. I do believe you're good enough. I do believe youre talented enough, and there's so many people who started their careers way past your age. Your path in life will be your path in life, there's no sense comparing it to others. Just try for the things that you think will make you happy.
So much of what you said about gender and labels and pronouns resonates me and just, thank you? Thank you. It's nice to hear another person say similar stuff. I use bi, genderqueer and they/them because that mentality allows myself to do whatever the fuck I want on any given day presentation/internal identity-wise (because let me tell you, my whole deal so often shifts). I found myself unhealthily obsessively thinking daily about gender and presentation and my clothes/makeup and what to do to "fit" and honestly I'd rather just learn who I am and be comfortable with that person and not put myself in a box. Everything is fluid, and most days I find the less I think about my own gender and just think about *me* , the happier I am. So, completely unsolicited, that's me atm, and thank you for sharing you :) Much love from Toronto 🏳🌈🇨🇦
"the labels exist for other people to know how to respond to me" EXACTLY
eyyyy first comment! Also your vibes and chill videos and (attempts) at cooking have gotten me through my first term of uni x :))
You made it!! Congrats!!
Yay new Dan video! I think your ideal job with be something like Graham Norton show but a more cosy version with cake/ cooked tasty thing with wine, comfy sofas and relaxing, and interesting people to talk to.
I very much enjoyed this little catch-up with you. It honestly makes me feel like it’s a chat with a friend I haven’t seen in like a year plus. (Also Daniel J. Layton [Actor/pissboiler] will forever remain cannon with me)
I forgot to say go you for finding someone! 😂
As someone who was convinced he was the straight friend of the group up until summer this year, and since have discovered I am not only bi, but on the aro spectrum, I have always watched you and felt represented, the softness never detracting from your masculinity, the genderplay with the outfits and breaking expectations, a shining example of living your authentic self.
So when I say that I cried when you spoke about your gender and your sexuality, know that it wasn't just the shared experiences ringing true, or only that I was proud of the courage it took you to say your truth, but it was everything to me and I'm so overwhelmed, thank you Dan, thank you for everything.
On another note does the new partner mean less shirtless pictures on instagram 👀
Queer person here :D I don't know if this helps (or if you even WANT anyone's perspective because yours is totally valid) - but for myself, I think the way you talk about gender is EXACTLY why I personally identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns.
I don't want any of the baggage that people associate with male or female attributed to me - I want them to just see me as an individual person, rather than something to be categorised. For a long time I also rejected labels! ... but knowing about them CAN be helpful in the sense that they give you framework with which to think about aspects of yourself in relation to those labels.
Thanks for the vid!
It’s such a small thing but I love that every time Hazel is ever brought up by anyone anywhere for any reason there’s always some question mark or asterix or *look*. Howling
Why? As in, why do they do a look?
It's not often I venture into reading TH-cam comments as it's generally a bad idea. But I just read through every comment made here so far and just want to say how wonderful it feels to find lovely, warm, like-minded people. It happens so rarely on the internet nowadays. Sending love and good vibes out to everyone here💞
It's so good to hear you say that about labels, i've been of that mindset for a long time - it doesn't feel right to tell other people you are 'straight' or 'gay' or 'queer', why does it have to be tied to anyone's gender or preference? It's just love and attraction, isn't it?
I love listening to you! Doesn't matter what the topic you always explain things so clearly an brighten my day up. Merry Christmas
Not to throw a spanner in the works but I also liked it when you talked about books. Okay thanks byeeeeee
I loved hearing your thoughts on the last section! I think a lot of people get caught up in the idea that you *need* a label to describe who you are, that you need to check off which little boxes you fit into, and for some people that’s defo a comfort!! when I finally landed on calling myself bisexual it felt like something had clicked into place for me and I know for a lot of people it’s the same and for some an even greater sense of euphoria. but I think there’s also comfort just in the being- of being yourself and not worrying about having to find the right words to define that. similar to you, I’ve been having thoughts about gender and I always end up just saying “I’m mostly a woman” and being happy with that! I think that’s the beauty of the word queer and its community: it greets everyone at the door with a warm hug and smile no matter who’s on the other side :)
as someone who's been watching you for almost 10 years (jesus Christ) I do feel like i've kind of grown up with you (I just turned 23) and seeing how happy and confident you are makes me so happy and no matter what/how much you feel like sharing with us i'm sure I speak for most of your followers when I say we just want you to be happy and we're happy to be involved in your life in whatever ways your comfortable with and I look forward to watching you continue to grow and flourish in the rest of your life you have ahead of you (because 32 is not old)
"I love that I can have people over, and I love even more that I can make them go away." I feel seen.
Aww Dan you look so happy and I'm so happy for you! Also, that jumper makes your eyes *sparkle* it is very pretty
"I and Thou" ' an essay I read in university kind of reminded me of what you said regarding queernes. The essay is not about gender but it talks about how we should look at people as a whole beeing and not try to spilt them into little things and descriptors. That truly seeing someone is seeing them as a whole unique person, someone you can't narrow down to labels. Once you try to categorize people, put them in a box, it automatically narrows your view of them. So I agree with what you said.
Anyway, lovely chat, thanks !
I know what you mean about living alone. I'm currently living in supported housing so it's not technically "alone" but I have my own room and kitchen, and it's the most independence I've had in my life. And, honestly, I love it so much. I love that I can just enjoy my own company and do what I want when I want. I'm glad you're doing ok, Dan ❤
when you talk about your acting I mainly think about you in PhoneShop which is great because it's probably my favourite TV show
Only just now getting to your christmas videos as real life has been so hectic but I let out a truly ecstatic gasp when you said you were happy with someone, all the warm and fuzzy feelings! You would be horrified by how uninterested I am in films but I quite happily watch you talk about them because you make it funny and interesting. Musical theatre Dan is something I'd love to see, I don't think anyone ever feels ready, just go for it!
Your description of feelings about the queer label as opposed to putting yourself in boxes feels so familiar. A fellow queer friend asked me where I was with my gender and sexuality recently and I was just. Flummoxed 😅 and honestly, I’m alright with that. Also glad you’re doing well, and have a relationship that clearly makes you happy!! It’s wonderful to hear ☺️
I would like it known that when I watch these very chatty videos I do in fact pause it regularly and respond as if we are having an actual conversation and some may say thats sad, which it may well be, but I still enjoy it so thank you for being a friend, or at least a parasocial friend
That’s how I listen to podcasts, so I very much approve!
@@DanLayton hey also while i've got you here i'm thinking of getting a lemony eggs tattoo, any ideas?
Just like I thought, this was lovely to watch while recovering from last night's Christmas Party shenanigans. You look happy and it's wonderful! :) The way you speak about your girlfriend is so sweet, I can't even feel bitter about being the last Bridget Jones around, and I'm wishing the two of you all the best!
I’m so proud of you, Dan, as are so many of us. Even if you don’t like labels (or, like me, are growing to resent them a bit), living without them can still be scary. And it takes guts to talk about it so openly as you have. All this put together makes you so brave. It’s a good look on you.
People love to talk about Alan Rickman going to RADA at 26 (which as someone who is 30 I think is not particularly old at all, even for the world of acting but I'm also not an actor so...) but there are loads of actors who started in their mid to late 30s and had full on careers before they started acting. Also people look to film stars but there's plenty of people who do theatre stuff for a living that maybe aren't huge stars but earn enough to have it be their full time profession. I absolutely do not think you should give up your dream of being an actor.
I identified as Bi since I was 15 but now, as a 23yr old, I find that Queer fits me better. Like you, I like the ambiguity and vagueness, because yes, I'm attracted to guys, girls and anyone who doesn't fit that, but my gender at the minute seems to be "??" Still playing with pronouns and my look to see what might fit best for the future, but using 'queer' has somewhat taken the pressure off of it if that makes sense? Just have fun with exploring your identity, it's you that's living it after all!
[also a cider that I've found to be amazing hot is Brothers Toffee Apple Cider]
yes yes yes! i’m trans, and pronouns are so important to so many people within the community. it’s great for trans and cis people to have their in their bios and email signatures but we can’t force people to. in my opinion. i don’t always do it, because i feel it will out me. and like you say, some people don’t want to label themselves or aren’t sure of things yet. i feel like some people get too pushy sometimes, we can stress the importance whilst also respecting not everyone wants to/can for a number of reasons
and i’m glad to hear you’re doing well, been following you since 2015 or so. grown up with you i suppose, we met at SITC way back when. happy for you, your videos and you always make me smile :)
So much respect for how you deal with rejecting the box out around you.
That last section- perfection. I’ve never quite been able to put my finger (oo-er) on what/who I am or what labels I should fit into. I’m just Ems, not straight but not gay, not queer but not bi, not questioning but just loving. I am just me, finding myself and going through life and I think that’s more than enough.
It's always great to see your face! I fully get your feelings towards identity. I feel like I'm in the same boat on the other end of the spectrum regarding gender attraction - primarily attracted to men, with the occasional exception. As far as i understood your piece, you're in that mindset except you're primarily attracted to women!
Also, you don't ever have to put yourself in a box. Defining yourself under the queer umbrella and not sorting yourself into further little boxes is perfectly valid and it all comes down to what makes you feel more comfortable
Same. It felt so weird when I went onto tumblr, trying to understand it, because most people were just one way or the other. I was sitting in the boat, thinking I'm not 50/50, so why does it feel so awkward at times.
You seem to have a lightness about you these days Dan, it’s wonderful to see :D
Thanks for the cuppa tea and the chat Dan, you always make us feel at home, and it warms my heart to hear you talk about the things you got going on with such excitement ❤️
Happy that you're happy with someone and glad to hear you talk about your thoughts about how hosting is something you enjoy and your journey to figure out what acting would look like for you. Good luck on your future applications!
I hate to be “that person” but I do genuinely turn on your catch-ups when I’m feeling lonely or having difficulty motivating myself to socialize, ESPECIALLY during lockdown. You are very easy to listen to and be comfortable with, I could totally see you hosting a podcast where you support people telling their stories. I stan the “straight enough” label too! Thank you for sharing yourself with us and please please keep whatever you want in your life private. Your relationship does not have to be public to be real
I just sat down with a mug of tea and a warm blanket and I was wondering what I should watch
"Private but not secret" BIG YES love it
I'm really shocked that you never mentioned "The Great British Bake Off" show, or Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry, or doing Ascot. I love how you value the not-so-flashy things in life!
I totally vibe with your feelings on gender, i personally don't really care and just want to exist how I want, and think everyone should get that chance.
Honestly if it wasn't for you painting your nails a few years back, I probably wouldn't have considered it myself, and between your exploration of these things and some good friends, I wouldn't have found my own path to where I am now, continuing to explore the things that make me happy with self expression and style
What a comfortable, thoughtful visit with you! Warmest holiday wishes.
1. i've only heard you sing in one video but you're so good and you haven't even had lessons yet???
2. i'm def interested in hearing more of this conversation in whatever capacity you're comfortable with!
3. that sweater looks SO good with your eyes
I love the cozy energy and catch up. Genuinely got all happy to hear about the relationship, you getting paid to chat wrestling, and hearing you keep complexity in identity. All so so lovely, glad you're doing alright :)
As someone who is currently doing an acting MA- I also felt very underprepared but do it! You never know what will happen or what you’re capable of until you’ve done it!
✨dan’s a pissboiler✨
But in all seriousness, this was a delight. I am so so happy for you for all the positives that are in your life. It’s amazing to have watched you for 9 or 10 years now, have watched you grow as a creator and AUTHOR?!?! And you seem so content with where you are now, and it brings me joy❤️ sending you and yours love and light at Christmas and for the new year, and I can’t wait to see what you do in the future
Hey Dan! I did my MA in Musical Thetare at RWCMD in Cardiff, if you ever want to chat about audition process, the course and general vibes, let me know. My best pal did her MA at Mountview too, so if you want a bit of a chat about the differences between the courses etc, happy to help.
I know it’s something you’ve been chatting about/considering for a while, I definitely found it helpful talking to grads about their experience. 👏🏻
It is so nice to see you happy and confident. Especially that kind of confidence that comes from knowing you are good at something!
I understand what you are saying about not wanting to give up your dreams. I'm an artist (singer/performer/writer/producer of contemporary opera) and it reminds me of a conversation I've had with a composer friend. She is most known for her compositions, but also did other stuff. But she said that composing really got picked up so she decided to focus on that. Doesn't mean she doesn't do the other things anymore, but she puts her energy in the thing that works so to speak. And there might come a season where other things might take the spotlight. Just because you focus now on presenting, doesn't mean you'll never be an actor. But focusing on the thing you are good at and appreciated for is not a bad thing :)
(Also feel free to completely ignore this if it doesn't serve you right now!)
oh oh also I like your take on labels to challenge people. I use my labels also to challenge people, but the other way around! I'm genderfluid/non-binary and autistic and I dont ''look'' like either of those. Which is fun to watch people react to. Especially the autism, people will throw out little comments about stereotypically autistic stuff and I'll go '' but I'm autistic'' and they will get embarrassed and that is fun (and then I get to talk about my special interest and teach them some things hahaha)
I'm so happy for you, finally living that Bridget life you deserve
the whole unlabelled/ challenge people thing resonates w me too
Totally get what you're saying about labels. As a non-binary queer subscriber whose thought a lot about labels over the years haha, I'd say that that labels are language tools for us to use, when we want, if we want. They can be useful for self describing, communicating about with others and finding communities of somewhat similar people. But they can also be limiting at times, not expansive or nebulous as feels accurate and also Often come with a lot of baggage. If you ever want to describe as labels within the LGBT+ community, you are welcome in that space from what you're describing. However, on the days when those labels aren't a useful tool, I totally get it. For example. I've found with my grandparents it doesn't matter to me if they use different language around my gender, because I know they still see me as a messy artist and book-lover. And for me, those labels are more important in that particular space? I think it can also be the case where expression can be so much more important than labels sometimes. (Although labels can be useful in situations where expression isn't showing the full picture). Wishing you the best! Also wow, watching the first season of Pose change my life in terms of self acceptance and personally getting into lgbt+ history, so highly recommend that to anyone exploring their gender identity.
Did anyone else start applauding when Dan said he's in a relationship :) All of the warm feelings
I don't think I've ever commented before, but I've been watching your videos on and off for years (and occasionally comfort binge the Baking with Layton vids when I'm feeling stressed). I just wanted to say that it's so nice to see you look so happy and calm (I might've done an actual little gasp when you mentioned your girlfriend). I've always thought you're incredibly talented and I hope you're acting dream may still come true!
i love hearing you ramble
I always enjoy watching your videos, I don't usually comment, but I have been going back to your old videos a lot to watch recently and they always make me laugh and feel comfortable. Hearing you talk about living in London was really lovely as I have recently moved out of London to go to uni, to a vastly different type of place, I do miss it lots. Thank you for all of your videos :)
these are always so comforting, I genuinely feel like we're best friends and I'm so happy to see how happy you are :)
I've been following you for years and just wanted to say it's been a blast growing up alongside your videos and having a lot of the same life situations
this was a wonderful video :) thanks for the lovely catch up. found myself relating to so much of what you said in this, so thank you dan for helping me feel a little less alone today 🥰 it’s good to see you happy!
I am also upset you have not hit the 100K level and I also want validation for you. You deserve a plaque.
The phrase "gay as Christmas at Selfridges" is absolutely sending me 💀
Hold on ONE second! I need to pause this in the middle and say: I'm so so happy for you (and her) that you've found someone lovely!!! I hope you make each other very happy, you really deserve it. (Not that one needs a relationship, but you know, if it's real it's right/nice... ^^)
And we dont need to know more. Treasure it, enjoy it, thank you for sharing what you share. It really just made me very happy ☺️
LOVE the gender stuff
Loved that gender talk at the end, very relatable :)
I like to put myself as romantically challenged on my love life 😂 pleased that you have found someone also really like this style of videos very open and honest it’s refreshing
Genuinely appreciate you and everything you do, you might not know me but you inspire me in some way as a human. So thanks for that.
Mmmm this felt like a nice cozy hug. I can definitely relate to your feelings of gender. I used to care a lot about labelling myself as bi, but now I don’t really care and I’m happy just floating about as queer. I’ve found it more comfortable to use she/they pronouns these days but can’t really explain why and I don’t want to have to explain my gender to people. Queer feels like a I’m throwing little challenge to everyone else, like ‘make of this what you will but don’t tell me what you come up with ’
This was nice and cozy. Just so nice and so cozy. It's real. It's right.
dan’s list of roommates, otherwise known as the cast of some lovely board games
It's always a joy to watch your videos - you do make people feel comfortable so it's like a catch up with an old friend
Feeling very much the same when it comes to gender and sexuality. I'm very much bisexual but embracing the idea that I'm also just me.
So happy for this catch up and so glad you're doing well :D
I absolutely believe that you will be a wonderful actor, and also your voice is wonderful (and I, being in a vocal ensemble and having a very good ear, would know)! Do try, everything that you want to do! I think it is wonderful that you do not lose sight of your dream. ♥️
4:02 so I oped my mouth in excitement and can't close it just yet, so I plan on re-watching this part until the excitement fades away
So if anyone wants to connect on a soul level through the frequency of excitement, click on that time stamp :)
*Happy for you, Dan!
watching your vids always gives me an immense comfort. happy to hear you’re doing well
This felt joyful to me, you are very cool, and I love that you are happy 💗
The genuine bashful happiness at having a lady-partner is giving me so much joy 🥹
Lovely to see you happy :) as a trans person, it's certainly more important to me that people are vocal against GCs and TERFS than having their pronouns in bio. experimentation, in private or not, is half the joy of gender anyway
been following you for many years now (10 or so at this point) and I'm so pleased for you re: the partner and things kind of falling in place for you!! thank you for your videos. they always make my day a little better, no matter what they're about.
Honestly the “straight enough” label really speaks to me in all my anxious confusion.
I am so excited and grateful for every single thing you put out, I'm really looking forward for whatever's to come
You are my comfort watch.
awwww i love your videos so much, mostly bc of the variety. your channel’s just a nice, warm place to arrive at
still somehow want u to do a podcast where u just talk… i enjoy your voice and ur choice of words so much 🥰
Looking into it for next year! Might start something on Patreon, get the swing of it and see where we go from there 😊
You're telling me the monthly vlogs were SIX YEARS ago?!
Awww im happy for you that you’re in a relationship! That made me smile☺️ I really hope you get your big break you deserve it❤I relate to what you said about gay being a bad thing, i really hate the word lesbian for myself so would never use it as it definitely had negative connotations growing up that im never going to be able to shake so I therefore say im gay but even saying that is hard a lot of the time because again gay was seen as a bad thing (especially in the time when gay was an insult about anything) I know its because of internalised homophobia and i do my absolute best to be proud but it is very hard sometimes. Would love to see a whole video on the topic of sexuality and gender as i do find it so fascinating!
this video makes me so happy and I'm so happy for you
Thank you for this wonderful vid. Made me feel like I was listening to a friend chat. You can't even imagine how giddy I was when you said you met someone. You look very happy, and I'm very much looking forward to the next video's. Still very much my nr1 youtuber after all these years 😌
Okay first of all it makes me super, almost unreasonably happy to hear you’re in a relationship. Absolutely love that for you 🥰
2. DO NOT - repeat - DO NOT give up on being an actor. Not now, not ever!
3. I’ve mentioned this before on instagram but as a Welsh girl, it makes me super proud that you’re considering the Royal Welsh, it’s a great school 😁
4. That part about identities was one of the most nuanced and interesting takes on the subject I’ve heard in a long time. Never feel pressured into identifying a certain way and just do you if that’s what suits you. I like that a lot
Okay, that’s all. Merry Christmas!