As a fellow expat I’ve definitely gone through my share of homesickness. I find that connecting with fellow expats is helpful, as they understand the unique challenges that go with this life. I also find having an activity that you enjoy that forces you to interact with other people to be especially good for getting out of the homesickness rut. I too live essentially halfway around the world from my home country & just hopping on a plane every time I feel lonely is not an option. The truth is that wherever home is will likely never be the same as your memories. Life moves on there & living abroad changes your perspective on just what life should be like. Reverse culture shock is a real thing, especially if you’ve been gone for a long time. I have said many times that I have a good life as an expat, but not an easy life. I’ve been able to see and do things & meet people that I simply never would have been able to do if I had not left my home country & that makes all the tough days worth it.
I am French, we moved to the US in 1965 and yes I get homesick. In order for me to overcome this state of depression or melancholy I ask myself what would be different had I not stayed here and gone back to live in France upon becoming an adult. I am neither God or Saint nor rich. Here is what I think about and why I must not go home. I once drove through this immense desert where you can drive for hours and hours without seeing a house or a person and I come across 3 hitchhikers. This was in Oklahoma and it was very very hot. I stopped and helped them to their destination 800 miles away. They had already been walking for six hours and nobody stopped. They had no money, no food and no water, wore rags, 3 Navajo girls going to a ceremony.... One evening I was watching TV and someone knocks on my door. I open the door and in front of me stands a 13 year old girl that says to me I need help, I am a runaway. The only thing that I thought about is that this young girl will keep knocking at doors and one of those would be a bad one. I said yes you can stay with me but you are obligated to go to school. I was a single father at the time raising my two sons. Secretly I was hoping that her tantrum would end soon and go back home. She stayed for 3 months and then went back home. I now live in Las Vegas and as I was walking at this shopping center a couple of years ago, I notice something fairly large laying in front of a store, not on the sidewalk but where the cars drive. I was not alone, cars were driving by and people were walking by. As I get closer I see that this is not something but someone. My first thought was that it is a drunk that passed out but I am also thinking that it's about a 118 degrees outside, this person is laying on tar that is turning soft and he is burning up. I went up to him and tried to wake him up. There was no response. I cradled this mans head and waved to passersby for help. People came to assist right away and we carried him into the shade and tried to cool him until the ambulance came. It was a man that had suffered a stroke... Now when I get homesick and depressed I tell myself that I am needed here.
When I moved to Europe in my 20's I was initially very homesick (first few months), but after my first year I did not want to move back home (where I was from). Living elsewhere really made me appreciate other cultures & not go back to my own because I had experienced everything there was to experience where I was raised. Great video, Ms Rosie!
It can be the opposite. You lived so many new things abroad, but back home nothing has changed. Your relatives see the "old You" while you dramatically changed.
Oh yeah, I get that a lot. Quite annoying. And this feeling that nobody really knows you anymore, cause you're too long away from where you used to live. Unfortunately , it's similar abroad - where people have known yopu for a short time. Both versions are dramatically incomplete and unsatisfying. The result is, there's no place where I feel good .
That is also true. Some people 'back home' even consider you to be a traitor to have "abandoned" the place they love. And since when you return for a visit, you are just not the same person anymore, it is considered to be confirmation that you are contaminated.
That's so right, I left my country and leave out of my family for the first time for studying abroad but now that I'm back home for the summer, even if I'm happy to see my family and my friends again it's different than before and I missed being abroad
Re an antidote for homesickness, I think you nailed it in saying gratitude for the amazing experience; living abroad is life-changing, what a blessing. Nobody back home is having the incredible world experience you are having.
I agree!! Everything you both touched on is very much what homesickness was to me. Something that I did was address the food triggers. I committed myself to make food from my home country but to also incorporate more French dishes. I exposed myself to new things while having the comforts of home. I also went back to church. Back at home I attended church regularly. So, going back to things that were part of your normal routine at home can be a great helper. Let yourself feel the feels. Cry, laugh, remember, and treasure what home is to you. And don’t forget to nest in your new home. Help yourself feel happy and content in your new surroundings. The mind, body, and spirit yearn for something, when you are mindful to these things, being homesick isn’t so bad after all. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m 18 and from the US, and currently studying abroad in Argentina for 6 months, and i’ve been quite homesick the past few days. This is my first time living without my family and my first time moving since i was about 4 years old, so this video came at a fantastic time for me
Well first I want to say how refreshing I find all of your posts! I have lived abroad for lengths of 4ish months 3 times in my lives and my biggest tips are: find a way to discover your comfort food. I love to cook so sometimes I make it ( I love me some tex mex) and sometimes I find it (I'm American so even sometimes McDonalds does the trick or a specialty burger shop). Also when I'm able to find a new community to settle into it makes such a difference. Often this comes by making myself vulnerable and asking for a follow up coffee date with someone I really feel a connection with. In Paris I found this great community of expats that I kind of stumbled upon and it made me feel so validated and normal it was amazing. Other tips are definitely to keep an eye on how checking social media is serving you. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it is detrimental. Also I've found that day trips are the best part of being in Europe and work wonders to lift spirits so if you need a boost check out a cools new museum or town nearby you can visit and loop in a friend to going with you. (it helps you to appreciate the wonder in where you are). Also finally just be kind with yourself. Even though where you are seems so fantastic to those back home doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you for feeling the trials of adjustment for living in this new fantasy land. New things are always hard but you can do this! Find your new people and anything is possible!
Hi Rosie! I’ve been in NZ for 7 months now and I miss my family so much but on the other hand I’m planning to go to Australia at the end of my Visa here so it will be more than a year and a half of leaving when I come back and I’m so afraid of the TV series example you gave, not recognising or being able to keep up with my friends. It’s just so far away I wouldn’t be able to pop back home between two countries so I just try to count my blessings and call home as much as I can and tell myself that I’ll be back in the end. I also agree with the fact that your relatives and friends can cheer you up when you’re down and tell you how lucky you are and how you should enjoy every minute, which you can forget when you feel a bit down ... Thanks for the great video, it helped so much to hear all these great things and feel understood, sweet as ! 💕
Sujet excellent et universel cette fois-ci, qui peut donner lieu à un vaste débat.Even more interesting is how people have dealt with homesickness over the last centuries, since once you left your country, you were leaving it forever with no hope of ever seeing it again, at least until around 1950. (I am referring to "normal" people and not the wealthy, of course.) Some nationalities were luckier than others -- the Italians, Greeks, Chinese, Russian and some others left their homeland in big enough numbers to be able to recreate important communities around the planet which greatly alleviated the distress of having left home.Others were completely isolated and just had to dig in -- people like my mother, who was an American war bride and found herself in a place with no other French people, no access to French culture or decent food. She learned to adapt, recreated French food with local products and raised my brother and me with a constant appreciation of France, which we saw about once every four years (by ocean liner) when she could save up enough money for the trip. Oh my god, the voyages by ocean liner were so fantastic, definitely worth the wait. But all of the rest of the time our lifeline was the postal service, with a letter from my grandparents about every two weeks.When I think of all of that, it makes 21st century homesickness completely risible, albeit just as authentic as in olden times. Homesickness can hurt, but these days people absolutely cannot imagine how extreme it used to be.
my hometown is a 12 hour flight away, and being in quarantine and not being allowed to fly right now has made me feel really homesick, and this video really helped me, so thank you
You should do a collab with Antoinette Emily who is a Kiwi living in Germany. Although she is at a different life stage to you she posts interesting videos about her experience living in a foreign country.
Thank you so much for this video! It made me feel really understood and validated in my feelings. You mentioned talking to loved ones back home about your homesickness can help. I am trying to be very honest about it but also worry that I make all my conversations negative. Someone close recently mentioned that maybe I am looking at things from a negative perspective too much, which triggered me but also made me wonder if I am paying too much attention to my homesickness. What is your perspective on this? Thank you!
This was great to watch. I like living in Switzerland and the quality of life is great, but I do really miss my family in America. I facetime and talk to them everyday, and it also helps to have a passion here. I've been spending a lot of time creating videos for my youtube channel and that's helped a lot.
Thanks for this post. Really put things in perspective. Just back to Paris this week after a vacation back in Australia, and of course a little homesick... All topics of the conversation were relevant ! Thanks again, and keep up the expat posts 😉
Rosie, you look so sad in this video. Since it was made you have moved back to New Zealand. I hope you are happy and settled. I experienced terrible homesickness in my younger days. When I was in London I was homesick for home but when I went home on holiday I missed London. Eventually I returned to my home town. X
im an expat half way across the world for 9 months and what im experiencing is not what i quite expected, i am quite independent person but find myself so homesick feeling alone and also depressed. i dont wanna do anything and leave my house at all. im trying to deal with it somehow as i have 6 months left but im not gonna lie i do wish i could go home. This video is great and if anyone has more advice how to deal with being away from home for a long time i would take it :)
6 months will fly by! I'd say make the most of it and imagine never getting back there and this is your only chance to see some things and explore/experience. I guess that helps if you take it as an adventure. Like a holiday that will come to an end. It's a little harder if you are there indefinitely but knowing when you will get home, makes it a little bit easier to make the most of it now. :) I hope that made sense. hehe I'm away and most likely indefinitely..so just think of me, and think of how I may want to be in your position :)
It's true that it is hard to connect on a deeper level with someone from a different culture. It's nice that my husbands learn Malaysian English which makes things funny and it's nice that I can sneak in that type of English and have him understand me. I also got a voice message from a friend and the language itself can feel like home :) Another interesting one Rosie :)
I recently moved away from Hawaii I’ve lived there my whole life I miss it so much at first I wasn’t so homesick but then I realized that I’m not going to go back...
I'm living in Paris and feeling very homesick, I'm originally from canada. All of my friends have gone back to their home countries and I'm soooooo homesick:(
What you said about the idea of a home that doesn't necessarily correspond to the real thing is very true. Sometimes I feel homesick which probably only means that I miss being a complete part of a society and a culture and being understood on that level. When I go "home" I'm disappointed. It's even worse when sth is not fully ok abroad. I also feel like it's harder with time, not easier but on a cognitive level, I'm aware now that simply neither of the places are my dream places to be. Unfrotuantelmyn I have no idea where I could find this. I cannot make friends with the French. First off, for the reasons you mentioned in another video.
I find it quite hard to get over homesickness. I stayed away overseas for 11 days. On the 8th night I was already feeling really homesick and also upset that I was leaving new caledonia. So I had a mix of strong emotions not even sure what i was feeling haha. But once i got home i felt way better but then i missed New Caledonia
I’m American, and I’ve never lived outside of the US, but I had a boyfriend from Greece, while in college. He hung out with construction guys from Greece, just to speak to them, in Greek. He said he didn’t have much in common with them, but it was a break from having to think in English. He said it was exhausting thinking in a different language sometimes. I told him about my city’s Greek Festival, then he started to look for organizations in the area for Greek people.
Yes! Just got a voice message from a friend and just the language itself, in my case still English in Malaysian way, makes me feel homesick in a good way. Something that simple can make a difference..so interesting :)
Hello, in Paris an English-speaking person may want to check out the British & American libraries, the English-speaking pharmacies (in a French pharmacy you usually find not only medicine but relatively cheap skin-care products), the American cathedral although I do not know its denomination. Hoping this helps. Bonne chance !
How did you and your husband decide in which country you will stay? Was it more of a logical decision like we have this and this here and it makes sense to stay here, or was it more emotional based on where you'd like to live?
Homesickness is a disease of youth ! The best for me (moved to Canada 20 years ago) is to return to France from time to time. Not too often, as not to aggravate homesickness, say every 2-3 years. As long as I still have alive direct family members ; after that it will not be the same thing, my French past will be definitively behind me.
As a fellow expat I’ve definitely gone through my share of homesickness. I find that connecting with fellow expats is helpful, as they understand the unique challenges that go with this life. I also find having an activity that you enjoy that forces you to interact with other people to be especially good for getting out of the homesickness rut. I too live essentially halfway around the world from my home country & just hopping on a plane every time I feel lonely is not an option.
The truth is that wherever home is will likely never be the same as your memories. Life moves on there & living abroad changes your perspective on just what life should be like. Reverse culture shock is a real thing, especially if you’ve been gone for a long time. I have said many times that I have a good life as an expat, but not an easy life. I’ve been able to see and do things & meet people that I simply never would have been able to do if I had not left my home country & that makes all the tough days worth it.
I am French, we moved to the US in 1965 and yes I get homesick. In order for me to overcome this state of depression or melancholy I ask myself what would be different had I not stayed here and gone back to live in France upon becoming an adult. I am neither God or Saint nor rich. Here is what I think about and why I must not go home. I once drove through this immense desert where you can drive for hours and hours without seeing a house or a person and I come across 3 hitchhikers. This was in Oklahoma and it was very very hot. I stopped and helped them to their destination 800 miles away. They had already been walking for six hours and nobody stopped. They had no money, no food and no water, wore rags, 3 Navajo girls going to a ceremony.... One evening I was watching TV and someone knocks on my door. I open the door and in front of me stands a 13 year old girl that says to me I need help, I am a runaway. The only thing that I thought about is that this young girl will keep knocking at doors and one of those would be a bad one. I said yes you can stay with me but you are obligated to go to school. I was a single father at the time raising my two sons. Secretly I was hoping that her tantrum would end soon and go back home. She stayed for 3 months and then went back home. I now live in Las Vegas and as I was walking at this shopping center a couple of years ago, I notice something fairly large laying in front of a store, not on the sidewalk but where the cars drive. I was not alone, cars were driving by and people were walking by. As I get closer I see that this is not something but someone. My first thought was that it is a drunk that passed out but I am also thinking that it's about a 118 degrees outside, this person is laying on tar that is turning soft and he is burning up. I went up to him and tried to wake him up. There was no response. I cradled this mans head and waved to passersby for help. People came to assist right away and we carried him into the shade and tried to cool him until the ambulance came. It was a man that had suffered a stroke... Now when I get homesick and depressed I tell myself that I am needed here.
When I moved to Europe in my 20's I was initially very homesick (first few months), but after my first year I did not want to move back home (where I was from). Living elsewhere really made me appreciate other cultures & not go back to my own because I had experienced everything there was to experience where I was raised. Great video, Ms Rosie!
It can be the opposite. You lived so many new things abroad, but back home nothing has changed. Your relatives see the "old You" while you dramatically changed.
Oh yeah, I get that a lot. Quite annoying. And this feeling that nobody really knows you anymore, cause you're too long away from where you used to live. Unfortunately , it's similar abroad - where people have known yopu for a short time. Both versions are dramatically incomplete and unsatisfying. The result is, there's no place where I feel good .
That is also true. Some people 'back home' even consider you to be a traitor to have "abandoned" the place they love. And since when you return for a visit, you are just not the same person anymore, it is considered to be confirmation that you are contaminated.
That's so right, I left my country and leave out of my family for the first time for studying abroad but now that I'm back home for the summer, even if I'm happy to see my family and my friends again it's different than before and I missed being abroad
@@margauxkol3875 lmao same
God it's so comforting to feel understood
Re an antidote for homesickness, I think you nailed it in saying gratitude for the amazing experience; living abroad is life-changing, what a blessing. Nobody back home is having the incredible world experience you are having.
I agree!! Everything you both touched on is very much what homesickness was to me. Something that I did was address the food triggers. I committed myself to make food from my home country but to also incorporate more French dishes. I exposed myself to new things while having the comforts of home. I also went back to church. Back at home I attended church regularly. So, going back to things that were part of your normal routine at home can be a great helper. Let yourself feel the feels. Cry, laugh, remember, and treasure what home is to you. And don’t forget to nest in your new home. Help yourself feel happy and content in your new surroundings. The mind, body, and spirit yearn for something, when you are mindful to these things, being homesick isn’t so bad after all. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m 18 and from the US, and currently studying abroad in Argentina for 6 months, and i’ve been quite homesick the past few days. This is my first time living without my family and my first time moving since i was about 4 years old, so this video came at a fantastic time for me
I'm in the same boat :) also staying abroad for one semester and it's being super hard
Well first I want to say how refreshing I find all of your posts! I have lived abroad for lengths of 4ish months 3 times in my lives and my biggest tips are: find a way to discover your comfort food. I love to cook so sometimes I make it ( I love me some tex mex) and sometimes I find it (I'm American so even sometimes McDonalds does the trick or a specialty burger shop). Also when I'm able to find a new community to settle into it makes such a difference. Often this comes by making myself vulnerable and asking for a follow up coffee date with someone I really feel a connection with. In Paris I found this great community of expats that I kind of stumbled upon and it made me feel so validated and normal it was amazing.
Other tips are definitely to keep an eye on how checking social media is serving you. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it is detrimental. Also I've found that day trips are the best part of being in Europe and work wonders to lift spirits so if you need a boost check out a cools new museum or town nearby you can visit and loop in a friend to going with you. (it helps you to appreciate the wonder in where you are).
Also finally just be kind with yourself. Even though where you are seems so fantastic to those back home doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you for feeling the trials of adjustment for living in this new fantasy land. New things are always hard but you can do this! Find your new people and anything is possible!
Hi Rosie! I’ve been in NZ for 7 months now and I miss my family so much but on the other hand I’m planning to go to Australia at the end of my Visa here so it will be more than a year and a half of leaving when I come back and I’m so afraid of the TV series example you gave, not recognising or being able to keep up with my friends. It’s just so far away I wouldn’t be able to pop back home between two countries so I just try to count my blessings and call home as much as I can and tell myself that I’ll be back in the end. I also agree with the fact that your relatives and friends can cheer you up when you’re down and tell you how lucky you are and how you should enjoy every minute, which you can forget when you feel a bit down ... Thanks for the great video, it helped so much to hear all these great things and feel understood, sweet as ! 💕
Sujet excellent et universel cette fois-ci, qui peut donner lieu à un vaste débat.Even more interesting is how people have dealt with homesickness over the last centuries, since once you left your country, you were leaving it forever with no hope of ever seeing it again, at least until around 1950. (I am referring to "normal" people and not the wealthy, of course.) Some nationalities were luckier than others -- the Italians, Greeks, Chinese, Russian and some others left their homeland in big enough numbers to be able to recreate important communities around the planet which greatly alleviated the distress of having left home.Others were completely isolated and just had to dig in -- people like my mother, who was an American war bride and found herself in a place with no other French people, no access to French culture or decent food. She learned to adapt, recreated French food with local products and raised my brother and me with a constant appreciation of France, which we saw about once every four years (by ocean liner) when she could save up enough money for the trip. Oh my god, the voyages by ocean liner were so fantastic, definitely worth the wait. But all of the rest of the time our lifeline was the postal service, with a letter from my grandparents about every two weeks.When I think of all of that, it makes 21st century homesickness completely risible, albeit just as authentic as in olden times. Homesickness can hurt, but these days people absolutely cannot imagine how extreme it used to be.
my hometown is a 12 hour flight away, and being in quarantine and not being allowed to fly right now has made me feel really homesick, and this video really helped me, so thank you
You should do a collab with Antoinette Emily who is a Kiwi living in Germany. Although she is at a different life stage to you she posts interesting videos about her experience living in a foreign country.
Thank you so much for this video! It made me feel really understood and validated in my feelings. You mentioned talking to loved ones back home about your homesickness can help. I am trying to be very honest about it but also worry that I make all my conversations negative. Someone close recently mentioned that maybe I am looking at things from a negative perspective too much, which triggered me but also made me wonder if I am paying too much attention to my homesickness. What is your perspective on this? Thank you!
Great video! It helps me a lot to addressing my feelings. Thanks a lot. And I love her, she is so sweet.
This was great to watch. I like living in Switzerland and the quality of life is great, but I do really miss my family in America. I facetime and talk to them everyday, and it also helps to have a passion here. I've been spending a lot of time creating videos for my youtube channel and that's helped a lot.
Thanks for this post. Really put things in perspective. Just back to Paris this week after a vacation back in Australia, and of course a little homesick... All topics of the conversation were relevant ! Thanks again, and keep up the expat posts 😉
Rosie, you look so sad in this video. Since it was made you have moved back to New Zealand. I hope you are happy and settled. I experienced terrible homesickness in my younger days. When I was in London I was homesick for home but when I went home on holiday I missed London. Eventually I returned to my home town. X
im an expat half way across the world for 9 months and what im experiencing is not what i quite expected, i am quite independent person but find myself so homesick feeling alone and also depressed. i dont wanna do anything and leave my house at all. im trying to deal with it somehow as i have 6 months left but im not gonna lie i do wish i could go home. This video is great and if anyone has more advice how to deal with being away from home for a long time i would take it :)
6 months will fly by! I'd say make the most of it and imagine never getting back there and this is your only chance to see some things and explore/experience. I guess that helps if you take it as an adventure. Like a holiday that will come to an end. It's a little harder if you are there indefinitely but knowing when you will get home, makes it a little bit easier to make the most of it now. :)
I hope that made sense. hehe I'm away and most likely indefinitely..so just think of me, and think of how I may want to be in your position :)
Did you return home?
It's true that it is hard to connect on a deeper level with someone from a different culture. It's nice that my husbands learn Malaysian English which makes things funny and it's nice that I can sneak in that type of English and have him understand me.
I also got a voice message from a friend and the language itself can feel like home :) Another interesting one Rosie :)
Oh my gosh, standing in front of Notre Dame on a day with beautiful blue sky is one of my main Paris happy places too.
Homesickness was so awful as an expat during lockdown that I moved back home and now I'm kind of regretting it, stupid COVID.
I recently moved away from Hawaii I’ve lived there my whole life I miss it so much at first I wasn’t so homesick but then I realized that I’m not going to go back...
I'm living in Paris and feeling very homesick, I'm originally from canada. All of my friends have gone back to their home countries and I'm soooooo homesick:(
I love that you guys took the time to focus on this. I really related to everything you said! Great video!
Audrey is gorgeous and so sweet.I am dead found of your videos,I manage to catch on what is meant.love you guys.
What you said about the idea of a home that doesn't necessarily correspond to the real thing is very true. Sometimes I feel homesick which probably only means that I miss being a complete part of a society and a culture and being understood on that level. When I go "home" I'm disappointed. It's even worse when sth is not fully ok abroad. I also feel like it's harder with time, not easier but on a cognitive level, I'm aware now that simply neither of the places are my dream places to be. Unfrotuantelmyn I have no idea where I could find this. I cannot make friends with the French. First off, for the reasons you mentioned in another video.
I find it quite hard to get over homesickness. I stayed away overseas for 11 days. On the 8th night I was already feeling really homesick and also upset that I was leaving new caledonia. So I had a mix of strong emotions not even sure what i was feeling haha. But once i got home i felt way better but then i missed New Caledonia
I’m American, and I’ve never lived outside of the US, but I had a boyfriend from Greece, while in college. He hung out with construction guys from Greece, just to speak to them, in Greek. He said he didn’t have much in common with them, but it was a break from having to think in English. He said it was exhausting thinking in a different language sometimes. I told him about my city’s Greek Festival, then he started to look for organizations in the area for Greek people.
Yes! Just got a voice message from a friend and just the language itself, in my case still English in Malaysian way, makes me feel homesick in a good way. Something that simple can make a difference..so interesting :)
Hello, in Paris an English-speaking person may want to check out the British & American libraries, the English-speaking pharmacies (in a French pharmacy you usually find not only medicine but relatively cheap skin-care products), the American cathedral although I do not know its denomination.
Hoping this helps. Bonne chance !
Love the video! Thank you!
How did you and your husband decide in which country you will stay? Was it more of a logical decision like we have this and this here and it makes sense to stay here, or was it more emotional based on where you'd like to live?
Story of my life...!
Homesickness is a disease of youth ! The best for me (moved to Canada 20 years ago) is to return to France from time to time. Not too often, as not to aggravate homesickness, say every 2-3 years. As long as I still have alive direct family members ; after that it will not be the same thing, my French past will be definitively behind me.
I like Jello 😎✌️