Idk if you'll see this since this is an older video. I've been dealing with trying to help out my best friend of over 13 years. She's been using for over a year now. At first it was casual / party based. She was with her ex that got highly addicted to coke and percs. She broke up with him because she couldn't handle who he was anymore. Fast forward 8 months, and she's been with a crack addict for about 5 months now. She enables him and in result has fallen into coke and other things she wont tell me about. I've tried countless times telling her how I feel and knowing she has so much more to give than being stuck in this addiction loop, and if she needs anything I will be there. But she would rather spend time with bad people that dont give a shit about her well being and enable her drug addictions. It's gotten to the point where even her family has messaged me about her "not being the same" anymore. Her brother knows about her drug problem and has tried countless times to her help too. He is at the point of giving up. I understand his feelings, because every day I hear a new story from her about the situations she gets herself into and it stresses me out to the point of crying. I wish she would listen, but I feel like im talking to a wall when I express any sort of emotion towards it. I've lost someone else to drugs because they weren't the same. Even my sister. and I have no patience for anyone else. I feel lost and like a horrible person but I am done with people in my life that are users and never give a crap about how it affects the people they love. I don't think I can continue being her friend anymore. She is not who I once knew. if you got this far, thank you for listening. I feel so trapped in my own emotions about this.
I also have a few friends who are very addicted to drugs and it really sucks when they don't want help and they think it's a cool thing. Ima see if they can listen to me cause they're very cool people and I don't want them to fall a very dark path cuz of drugs
Watching a girl I've been in love with go down a bad path. She told me I was a waste of life and pathetic for caring about her. I feel powerless and like I shouldn't have distanced myself so much when we fell out in the past. I know her addiction isn't my fault but I can't stick around to be abused and let down constantly
I'm on the same shit with my friends. They grown men 1 issa alcoholic and the other does MOSTLY percs, he does cocaine, lean, pills and shit I did percs myself too, I did lean too I almost died from lean and I do alcohol ONLY sometimes but NOT always Ill REALLY ONLY take a small sip then throw it away cause that shit taste nasty AS FUCK Overall I'm NOT judging nobody but I dont understand how mfs be addicted to shit @ ALL. I dont understand how mfs wanna do pills ALL THE TIME EVERYDAY I PERFECTLY understand weed, shrooms, maybe acid, DMT & psychedelics but pills, alcohol & coke I don't get that shit Again i did alcohol and pills like (XOs, percs, addys, xans and ecstacy) I did that shit cause of rappers I listen I wanted to try it to see wtf they was talking about But with me being around my friends and they under the influence not being sober without weed is BEYOND EXTREMELY VERY annoying AS FUCK I be left with no choice but to only stfu sit back and LET THEM dig they own grave. I'm already knowing about they fucked up past with how they siblings had got kidnapped I was there for them looking for they siblings etc. That wasn't enough and now I gotta watch them kill themselves slowly I can't save them. I'm always asking them "Why do u keep doing percs, alcohol, cocaine and shit?? Why can't u do just weed and spend yo money on weed??" They tell me "I'm already stuck on it once u are addicted there's no stopping and if I stop then I might die early is too late"🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️ When my bro do percs I even ask him "Can I do percs?? So that u don't do too much of them by yoself and OD??" HE SAYS NO CAUSE HE FEEN THAT MUCH FOR PILLS WANTING THEM FOR HIMSELF ONLY Then he wannabe in debt with the plug asking the plug to front him having some lil back and forth shit going on with the plug saying threats etc. Is annoying asf I HATE the dumbass plugs for being stupid and gullible for fronting shit then they wanna cry about not getting paid with me ALWAYS saying "STOP FRONTING HIM SHIT. STOP TRYNA GET ME INVOLVED IDC. WHEN HE PAY U DONT FRONT HIM SHIT NEVER AGAIN NO MORE" Mfs don't listen
Man tough boat to be in but just say you’re there and I hope you get the chance to help like I never got too, life’s not easy it’s someone’s daughter or son and we all need someone to talk to even at the worst of times, I would do anything in the world just to get 5 more minutes with them❤
He's not my friend, he's my father. He's drug addicted, we tried hard to quit him but it's no worth. I don't want to loose him, a little hope is left but still it is. Please pray for my dad to quit drugs and became healthy again.
I have a friend who is excellent, intelligent, kind, and funny, but he's also suffers from addiction. He opened up to me a few days ago and let me know that he has relapsed and he also ordered a large quantity (280) of Ambien pills, which he's addicted. He was staying at my place after my surgery and I caught him stealing my pain meds. I asked him if he did and he admitted to it. Said it was his addiction and that he felt ashamed. I told him that I was not judging him and I know that is the process of recovery/addiction/relapse. I assured him that I would do anything for him to get better. We had a great talk and we told each other we loved each other as friends. I tried to reach out to him to talk about his relapse and things we can do to help. He then tells me he doesn't want to talk to me anymore and he wants me out of his life. He said that I was too codependent in our friendship. It totally came out of nowhere. I think he was projecting onto me so he wouldn't have to face the fact that I was the only one who knew he relapsed. Now we don't talk and he wants nothing to do with me. My heart is completely shattered. I hope that he gets the help he needs and remembers that I only wanted to help him. I really do care for him and I hope he comes around and we can be friends again.
It could be that he is projecting. I have found it easier to create distance with people who care about me, so I could carry on using, and have said things I don't mean, hurting people I didn't want to. It's hard to be friends with someone who it's hard to trust though, and stealing for whatever reason would be an obvious break of that trust. You need to have your boundaries and look after yourself and your needs. To try and push ahead in any kind of relationship (whatever that dynamic be, friendship or otherwise) when you are the only person doing the work, can be not only a heavy weight to bear on yourself, but counter productive for both you and them. I really hope your friend gets the help they need.
@@notnotnormal4205 You're absolutely right. That comment is a month old and I've came to many realizations since then. He is projecting onto me his darkness. It's not mine to bear, nor is it my journey to navigate. It's his. I miss him so much and it kills me that I can't help, but it's his journey and not mine. I am letting go and hoping that he comes around and comes back to me.
@@BooTanner I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m going through this with a friend now. He tells me that I’m toxic and he doesn’t want to talk to me again. I do tempt him to drop me and he goes quiet and than we just start laughing and talking about random stuff. I just said to him that I don’t trust him to call a doctor and he should let his parents do it and he hasn’t messaged me back. I learned quick that he was projecting on to me.
I’ve tried so hard to help my friend he’s now back in jail because he tested dirty now he’s going to a rehab for six months! I’m happy because he needs it!! ❤ happy healing everyone out there struggling!
No bullshit tho I NEVER IN MY LIFE purchased a pack of cigarettes When I was 7 I would act like I'm smoking cigarettes When I was 12 I did cigarettes When I was 15 I smoked weed I loved it and it was scary I was running away from the police I thought I was never gone be sober again😂😂 @ age 15 I would smoke cigarettes asking ppl for a cigarette @ age 17 I saw a group of ppl @ my school chilling together smoking cigarettes they hate when mfs ask them for a cigarette I ask them for a cigarette they ALL said "no I can't keep giving out cigarettes I need them for myself" I WAS VERY ANGRY AS FUCK and I remember walking away looking @ them then I look @ my hands SHAKING OUT OF CONTROL OVER CIGARETTES I never bought no pack of cigarettes IN MY LIFE cause I NEVER felt like it was necessary and I felt better off asking ppl for a cigarette I look @ my hands SHAKING on that day I started thinking about all those "stop smoking cigarettes" commericals I remember when they had that small lil man be like "u know wanna smoke cigarettes come on u will enjoy it let's go" etc. I FELT LIKE THAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME AND I HATED THAT FEELING VERY MUCH I put myself inside avoiding EVERYBODY THAT SMOKE CIGARETTES I THANK EVERYBODY AT MY SCHOOL FOR BEING STINGY ABOUT CIGARETTES TELLING ME NO I SEE WHERE THEY COMING FROM AND THEY SAVED ME WITHOUT KNOWING IT CAUSE THEY WAS SELFISH THANK GOD I COULDA END UP BEING LIKE THEM BUT I CHOSE NOT TO AND I NEVER IN MY LIFE DID CIGARETTES AFTER AGE 17😐😐 I ALREADY KNEW WEED IS BETTER WHY TF WOULD I BUY CIGARETTES, DRINKS, PILLS, COKE AND SHIT??😐😐 ^^^^^ I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW DRUG ADDICTS DONT HAVE THAT MINDSET I TRIED PILLS BEFORE THE DOCTOR GAVE ME PERCS TOO etc. AND I ONLY LOVE DOING WEED
this is amazingly accurate. it's important to note how much we need "addicts" in our society. By definition it's someone who will give up "normal" behaviors for whatever the addiction might be making their quality of life "lesser" than before, which hate to say but sort of includes (basically) the entire world.. A n y t h i n g can be an addiction. People don't realize Shopping can be an addiction. trying to micro-managae your children, needing to be the center of attention can be an addiction, needing to be right, literally anything. And we're all looking at eachother because it's more addicting than looking at ourselves and how we can be better examples of well-rounded individuals.
Confront your friend with love but be firm. I wish I had pushed my friend harder to seek treatment and now she is dead. I spent years trying to meet her where she was at but unfortunately we don’t live in the same world we used to. Fentanyl isn’t a joke or something that “other” people overdose on. I don’t think we have the luxury to leave anything off the table, speak truth to them and get them into treatment by whatever legal means you can.
Forcing them isn’t legal, talking to them doesn’t work after trying the kind, loving and firm approach. My bro keeps telling me he’ll quit slowly but it’s been such a long process I get more worried overtime.
Forcing them isn’t legal, talking to them doesn’t work after trying the kind, loving and firm approach. My bro keeps telling me he’ll quit slowly but it’s been such a long process I get more worried overtime.
@@Chilliedogs you’re right you cannot force them into treatment but I think I could have been more persuasive and not enabled them in my own way. I wish I had bared my soul and told them what their loss would mean to me but I couldn’t understand that until it was too Late. I guess I thought I had time or that it just wouldn’t happen to her. All I am saying is don’t leave one stone unturned. If there is something you could say or do that you haven’t done or felt was out of the question seriously consider it. I am sorry you are going through this with your family, it is a very painful thing to experience.
I'm so sorry to read what's happened, Fentanyl destroyed my little sister and the worst part was it was given to her at the hospital and then her doctors when she came out from her surgery. It's left her so severely disabled, it's hurts me to see my little sister in the state she's in now.
Me n my friend both have anxiety, but unlike myself he cant go more than a week without these things and he typically uses things far too lethal, whereas i have currently gone 2-3 months without a drink/joint, i know his problem far worse than mine might turn into, watching these vids really give me an idea of things to tell him just to convince him to stay strong. I just hope he doesnt die like how he often says he wishes he does in comedowns.
I have this problem with some of my friends right now. ☹️ im only in 7th grade currently and it hurts so badly to see people you’ve known for a year change to be someone who you don’t even recognize anymore and kids my age are so peer pressured by drugs in order to have fun or coping mechanism. we're still so young it’s gut wrenching. horrible and them joking about drugs and there’s really nothing I could do, I’ve talked about it to some of them and said they would quit but never did. I’m glad though that I have other people as friends who also acknowledge it and trying to help aswell. we are still so young, immature and it’s so common in my school it sucks, you can never get your childhood back so seeing people you know not caring about it, it’s horrible. I know you can’t change people who don’t wanna be changed but these are people who I care about and they need help and someone to talk to. they’re encouraged by adults and other friends around them so it’s even harder. I’m not even that close to them as others but this video helped so much and I just wanna say thank you.
Best advice as someone who’s lost there best best friend I could’ve talked to at anytime to heroin,,,, just help and be there try hard not to give cash but give support it’s definitely hard but if I could’ve done something different I would’ve been there I helped n tried up till the last month let her stay brought her places made food had good times but sadly less than a month later I lost her and everyone did too just barely 21yrs old life’s crazy and never give up on your true friends we’ll never get friends like them back, and be respectful of bad choices and slip ups and just be there I just didn’t know how close time was I miss her a tremendous amount
Totally! Listen and understand - treat people how you would want to be treated, as these things can happen to any one of us. I didn't think it would be.
I'm trying to help 2 of my cousins one w a drug and one w a smoking I've been trying I hope I've made some difference there both underage I've not judged them been nice that's the only way Edit I haven't told them DONT do __ or they would never listen to me
Thanks. This all made sense. I liked what you said about letting them talk, and not stepping on their story. I think that’s very true that when people, especially people who are addicted, are answering about their problems, they’re exploring these answers for the first time as well.
Thank you for sharing your insights. Someone I love is currently needing help and I needed to know how to help. Also, congratulations on your progress and sobriety
Thank you for your video. I’m helping my new girlfriend get through her recovery. It’s hard seeing her struggle because of me. Meth is all she has known for the last 13 yrs. But I will be here for her no matter what
This helped a lot. I have an old friend thats in the streets doing hard drugs and I wasn’t sure how to help him. Next time I see him i’m just gonna ask if he’s good and how he’s been feeling/ how lifes been affecting him
Very proud of you. You are the best you on you tube that talked about it. My partner is involved and I did not know nor suspected cuz I never tried or thought about it. I did put him under pressure because I didn't know what I was dealing with and he couldn't confront me afraid to lose me. But now that I know without him knowing that I do, I promised myself to do the best I can to at least not make him feel worse. I have been crying for 2 days since I realized that there was a problem and I have been reading and searching about the topic since. I still need to understand many things like if he runs out of money is it best to give him even if I knew where he was going to spend it or is it best to say I don't have so he would not have money to buy these stuff. I also wanted to know what to say and what not to say about it. And if I should make it clear that I already know or is confrontation not a good idea. I will keep on reading and learning until I believe I done my best to get him better.
I think we may have spoken about this away from youtube, but apologies if not. If you need any help or want to chat feel free to email me on notnotemail@gmail.com I'm always here to listen.
Im talking to a person who struggles with it and they told be they took speed and idk what to do its not good for me as my mother just passed away from a drug overdose this is a great video and helped alot ❤
Exactly a week ago the same thing happened between me and my best friend/unofficial boyfriend. We've been sort of together for 1.5 years. A little more than friends with benefits. I've always been his high school crush. In that 1,5 time there were already a few ups and downs regarding whether we make it official or not. in the beginning I found it very difficult myself and always agreed with friends with benefits first. That already made it difficult for him, but I only saw the positive in it because I needed time. After a while I asked about it and he had already suppressed his feelings and could not suddenly open his wall again. I gave it time then, of course it hurt me because I had created it a bit myself. Later another conversation that I really wanted a relationship with him. He said he was allergic to the word relationship. After a few conversations like this it broke my heart every time. It made me insecure, often doubted, but I didn't give up. At one point we had such a fight that it was almost over in terms of friendship. Well I've always been one of the guys myself and I'm a super enthusiastic person also in terms of how I talk etc. Yes I made the mistake of going out to chill with a guy once, and my mistake that it was too flirty used to be. Never got to the point of meeting, almost just the contact disappeared. In retrospect I was happy and already regretted what I was doing. I was just super angry & insecure. Last weekend it got completely out of hand, I met up with an old colleague (never my intention for more) believe me! Just really to catch up and I even thought he would ask me to come back to work where we worked together because there is not enough staff everywhere. We drank to much and I had a black out. Finally when I cycled home with great difficulty I arrived at my flat and that kind of more than a friend was already at my flat. I arrived completely crying and because I already had such a blackout and too much drunk I just thought I had kissed (is not so and has been confirmed by that other ex colleague). Obviously that guy is all mad and by questions. I accidentally said something that just wasn't true. This escalated into a fierce argument. Now he had sniffed all evening, I k.o in bed because of the emotions and he has been going through my mobile all night. He has read everything with every acquaintance I know and what I will say I have always been one of the guys. Yes, I also read that conversation with that one guy I almost agreed with. Am I sorry I didn't delete it "no". First, I feel super guilty, but second, we've never had an official relationship. Now he doesn't believe anything anymore and that I flirt with all men and that I've done everything with who knows. It's not true, that night with that ex colleague nothing happened in terms of kissing. Because I had such a blackout, he told me that we got into a discussion because he didn't want me to cycle home like that, pushed him away and left. But that boy doesn't believe me at all anymore. Now I'm the worst thing that happened to him you name it. He uses coke every weekend and has said something about it several times. And sometimes during the week also including drinks. He says he has it under control, but I know it's a problem. Now I have personally taken some distance because I myself am talking to a psychologist to help myself with traumas etc etc. I have stopped smoking weed completely on my own since May 13th. So I'm busy with my own stuff. Now he does not want to admit in his behavior towards me and how he sends me messages that there is also a mental issue with him. I feel powerless. I want to help him, but I also have to help myself first. Now he hates me, but looking at himself in a mirror he can't say that this really isn't good for him and all his problems he already had. Sorry for this long message! But I'm distraught! I love him so much. All I wanted was to be with him! :(
I agree 💯💯💯 My best friend is hooked on meth! I can't stand looking @ him! I've told him that! I can't be around whilst he's under the influence of drugs! But I did mention to him that, if he needs help I'm here!🙏🏻
What about whenever you see or hang out with them they're on coke and if u ask them not to while you're with them they just never call you for months on end.
Hi Leslye, i'm sorry for only getting back to you now - i've been taking some time out myself to focus on my own recovery. I hope your friend is doing well and that you have been able to help.
my best friend’s 16 year old boyfriend is addicted to cocaine. she’s 15 and she’s crying in bed right now hoping he hasn’t overdosed at a party. i don’t know how to help her help him but i don’t want her going through this
I’m trying to help my gf but we had alotta fights about about this subject to the point we almost broke up... the worst thing is that her “best friend” is also a dealer, she gives her all types of drugs.. and it hurts me so much to be the only one who sees that this “friend” is not a true friend, and she says that I judge her even tho I swear I don’t.. it just comes out bad everytime we talk about this subject and it sounds like I’m judging her and it ends in a fight. Anyways I hope I can help her through it.. and let her see that these things aren’t the answer/solution to her problems before it gets worse.
Thanks for the commend Dee. I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. As hard as it might be, do remember that you can't make your friend change, but only help them through things whilst keeping yourself safe too. I really hope your friend decides to make a change.
Thank you for sharing, if you can do it, I believe that my son can do it to. Iove and appreciate your video, thank you so much and I know that God will give you everything you have asked throughout your life, stay safe. Remember your strength and courage ,you are worthy and extremely encouraging, motivating people is your superpower, I love your brother
Great advice!! Hope you doing well now. When i focused on Yah's Word and started following Messiah my addictions fell away , my anxieties and worries disappeared, He took them away! He gave me a peace that surpasses all understanding. I am eternally grateful and pray for everyone going through hard times and that they open the door to The Most High who created them and Loves them no matter what they have done or do. Who will save them and give them a new heart, a fresh start. It's never too late. Sending you all Love, Strength and Courage to overcome. ❤
:( my sister is an addict to crystal now and she has a child. She's also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, the whole family is struggling with this and I worry lots about my nephew... I wish we can get over this at one point.
Gabriela, thank you! I'm so glad to hear this helped. I really want to get back in to the videos. I just need to be in the right place and have had a lot going on recently, but i'm safe and happy. Thank you for asking.
I have a family member and friend that we are trying to help, she is struggling with injecting meth. She was on probation for some other things she did. She is now in jail for 120 days. We have her ex husband in a property we own for free. She came to live here because we thought that her ex husband wanted to help her. I talk to her a lot. She has BPD and I didnt want to be pushy with a relationship. But I am always here for her. I ask how she is feeling because I do love her. Maybe I need to be more initiative of a relationship because at one point she thought she lost me. Before she went to jail, I came in on a conversation where she was talking to a friend I thought was sober and helping her, but she said to him, now that Im not going to jail, we can go get the goods. She came back with an abcess on her arm and randomly made a scene saying she bumped it and had a welt. Then her ex husband covered for her and said she gets them all the time. I knew it was a miss mark. I was angry that her ex husband covered for her and Im afraid he is taking her to get drugs. She lied to me when we talked to her about it, which I understand. Its a hard thing to overcome. But I just dont know that she has hope for a better life, and I just have no clue if she wants help or if she just feels hopeless. I know she is ashamed. But, I fear when she gets out of jail she will live with her ex husband who will just enable this. So Im honestly thinking of evicting him and letting her and her boyfriend who sincerely wants to be sober live in the trailer. But they both dont have lisences. The boyfriend is living with us and helping my husband with his business and doesnt want to leave her, which I totally understand. I guess, I just think she wont get better if she lives with her ex husband who is enabling her and taking her to get drugs and covering for her. I dont think she wants to go to a rehabilitation center. Do you have any thoughts on this?
I have the same situation too sadly. My heart goes out to you. it's a very tough thing to witness when it's a parent. I really hope she has a moment of clarity and seeks the help that she needs.
I have a drug problem, when I drink I need a bag but then I go mental well…it’s hit or miss. I lose control, get aggressive with strangers and attacking friends when they touch me, forgetting who they are and my own morals, being dragged out of clubs, can’t see or think straight and sometimes just with drinking especially out in an unfamiliar setting. I am anxious, I am struggling and everyone is running away from me :( I feel so isolated and alone
@@notnotnormal4205 I unfortunately have no friends left go out with so perhaps a good thing, but I am still in a drug and drink cycle worse since I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years! But some things have gotten better and I am achieving things more :) xx
Don’t If I am going to destroy myself I’m going to do so it isn’t up to anybody to bully me over it thinking it will change things. Don’t add to the depression
Hey great advice, ive been trying to pull my friend into a new enviroment away from drugs, we used to do drugs or smoke every single day, ive been 1 year sober now and want the same for them but it seems my friend cant give up our previous friends who are still using and fucking up, how can i help them take the leap?
Kjeti, i'm sorry I have only just got back now - i've been taking sometime to focus on my own recovery. Firstly - amazing work you have done yourself. A year is BRILLIANT. Congratulations. Regards your friend - this is a difficult situation. As i'm sure you can remember - You can't lead other people to change. them change. You can only really be there to make sure they are safe, and should they need support, you are there to help. It might be an idea to offer them an alternative if you haven't already done so. Breaking the cycle is difficult enough when you want to do it, let alone when you don't. I guess that's the why the concept of 'rock bottom' exists - things get so bad that you are forced to see the situation for what it is and have to change. Obviously this is difficult, it's hard to watch someone you love put themselves through something that can be self destructive. So be sure to ask for help and support yourself if you need it.
@@notnotnormal4205 yes I have heard of hitting rock bottom, my hubby has been battling with addiction for years now and its getting so bad, my heart is breaking, He was caught stealing all to support his habit and is currently in jail. Everyone thinks I am dumb for staying with him but he is truly such a kind person and I love him so much. I don't know what to do, I need support but no one is willing to help me unless I leave him. I am so sad, I feel like my world is falling apart.
Hey. Great video, thanks for the help. I’m almost a year and a half sober now, and have watched my best friend go through a terrible hard drug issue. He now keeps going through being sober for a couple of weeks and back to doing drugs. Big issue is we are in different countries. Meaning different time zones, etc. I can’t get him away from the people that he’s getting drugs through. He says he can keep himself from actually buying drugs, but once a friend has them he’s back to doing them. We’ve had the conversation a billion times. How can I get him to do something like go to rehab?
What do you do if your friend does not acknowledge the danger of using? He said he will not be able to stay awake to work thru his night shift ...and have enough energy without it?
That’s difficult. You can’t make someone change as painful as it is. The need to really want to make a change as it takes a lot of work. That kind of cycle your friend is on sounds very tiring in the long term and not all that cost effective. Just let them know you are there if and when they want to talk and let them know you are worried about how this works in the long term as this isn’t really much of a solid plan. Sleep and coffee seems much more stable and safe. X
Also I believe that my partner is addicted to pills such as Lyrica, cannabis, and still not sure what else. He denied any but I know because I have seen some proof of it. I wonder how serious it is and what can it cause. I have also noticed red pimples around the eyes, weight increases, sloppy appearance, and others. I wonder if addiction can transform into something else, like sex for example, Or not? Please talk about these topics so anyone who is like me would benefit from it. All the best and please communicate whenever you feel like it more than happy to listen.
I want to help my ex girlfriend she is an addict... the problem is she don't want to talk to me so how can i help her n i would love you to make a vedio about "how to be a friend to a drug addict"
It's very difficult Narry. Much like helping someone, it is limiting being a friend to someone who is an addict, as friendship exists between two people and needs both of you to be in it and focussed (much like any relationship) The best thing you can do is let them know you care about them and are worried - and that you are there to talk if and when they want to talk to you.
I have already lost a friend to that and I am watching a friend do it again now i invite him for a drink and he sniffs every 5 minutes in like an hour he sniffed like 200 pounds worth of that shit
Dude i dont know what to do, the one i love has been doing drugs for 6 years and i really love them and dont want to lose them because of drugs. They are going to therapy but dorsnt want to open up to the therapist, theyre very young... theyre 16... anyone has any good tips in helping???
Would it be helpful if you said to them you no longer want to be in their life but will be there for them if they need someone to talk to about their problem? I know this may sound selfish, but isn't is enabling to tell them you care, and give them resources, ect, but yet they continue? Where do you draw the line and say to them that they will continue to be an addict but you are no longer going to allow yourself to see them do whatever they want? I know they are going through some serious stuff, but is it ok to to move on but also offer them to call you only if they want to talk about their addiction or their progress with recovery? I also don't want to be a part of their addiction if they get worse because of me saying I can't enable you, it's a double edged sword, any suggestions?
It's difficult, and I hate to say it but there is no hard and fast rule. It can certainly hurt to watch someone harm themselves and how you are doing is important to keep aware of. I don't know if it is enabling unless you are faciliting their habit or allowing the space for them to think things are fine and carry on in denial. If the person is up to have the conversation maybe it might be an idea to ask them, as it would maybe show how much you care, have put thought and attention in to the situation but yet you are at a cross roads yourself in how to deal with their behaviour. Sometimes cutting people off can lead to them becoming more isolated, but there is definitely a line that has to be drawn, and that line is different for everyone and each situation. So, that isn't much of a simple answer, but I hope it's of some help. There are groups out there for friends and families of people in active addiction, it might be worth looking up to see what resources are near you / or if there are any websites that might offer some more solid guidance. I can only really speak from my own experiences and think it's always good to see what others recommend too.
Hi, That can only be a really difficult situation and i'm sorry to hear that. The hard thing with friends and family, or people with problems in general is that you can't make them change. You can only really be there to make sure they are safe, ask if they want to maybe go out (it's a great distraction) and should they need support, you are there to help. Obviously this is difficult, it's hard to watch someone you love put themselves through something that can be self destructive. So be sure to ask for help and support yourself if you need it.
It hurts to watch a bunch of people I grew up with turning to substance abuse
I literally cried today because my best friend is getting into eating edibles and Im really worried about them
My first ever friend started smoking and taking drugs, he's 14.
@@uslesstwat😢
Idk if you'll see this since this is an older video. I've been dealing with trying to help out my best friend of over 13 years. She's been using for over a year now. At first it was casual / party based. She was with her ex that got highly addicted to coke and percs. She broke up with him because she couldn't handle who he was anymore. Fast forward 8 months, and she's been with a crack addict for about 5 months now. She enables him and in result has fallen into coke and other things she wont tell me about. I've tried countless times telling her how I feel and knowing she has so much more to give than being stuck in this addiction loop, and if she needs anything I will be there. But she would rather spend time with bad people that dont give a shit about her well being and enable her drug addictions. It's gotten to the point where even her family has messaged me about her "not being the same" anymore. Her brother knows about her drug problem and has tried countless times to her help too. He is at the point of giving up. I understand his feelings, because every day I hear a new story from her about the situations she gets herself into and it stresses me out to the point of crying. I wish she would listen, but I feel like im talking to a wall when I express any sort of emotion towards it. I've lost someone else to drugs because they weren't the same. Even my sister. and I have no patience for anyone else. I feel lost and like a horrible person but I am done with people in my life that are users and never give a crap about how it affects the people they love. I don't think I can continue being her friend anymore. She is not who I once knew.
if you got this far, thank you for listening. I feel so trapped in my own emotions about this.
I also have a few friends who are very addicted to drugs and it really sucks when they don't want help and they think it's a cool thing. Ima see if they can listen to me cause they're very cool people and I don't want them to fall a very dark path cuz of drugs
Watching a girl I've been in love with go down a bad path. She told me I was a waste of life and pathetic for caring about her. I feel powerless and like I shouldn't have distanced myself so much when we fell out in the past. I know her addiction isn't my fault but I can't stick around to be abused and let down constantly
Same i ended up crying
And i hadent cried in a year
same problem with me
she is addicted
I'm on the same shit with my friends.
They grown men 1 issa alcoholic and the other does MOSTLY percs, he does cocaine, lean, pills and shit
I did percs myself too, I did lean too I almost died from lean and I do alcohol ONLY sometimes but NOT always Ill REALLY ONLY take a small sip then throw it away cause that shit taste nasty AS FUCK
Overall I'm NOT judging nobody but I dont understand how mfs be addicted to shit @ ALL.
I dont understand how mfs wanna do pills ALL THE TIME EVERYDAY
I PERFECTLY understand weed, shrooms, maybe acid, DMT & psychedelics but pills, alcohol & coke I don't get that shit
Again i did alcohol and pills like (XOs, percs, addys, xans and ecstacy)
I did that shit cause of rappers I listen I wanted to try it to see wtf they was talking about
But with me being around my friends and they under the influence not being sober without weed is BEYOND EXTREMELY VERY annoying AS FUCK
I be left with no choice but to only stfu sit back and LET THEM dig they own grave.
I'm already knowing about they fucked up past with how they siblings had got kidnapped I was there for them looking for they siblings etc.
That wasn't enough and now I gotta watch them kill themselves slowly I can't save them.
I'm always asking them "Why do u keep doing percs, alcohol, cocaine and shit??
Why can't u do just weed and spend yo money on weed??"
They tell me "I'm already stuck on it once u are addicted there's no stopping and if I stop then I might die early is too late"🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
When my bro do percs I even ask him "Can I do percs?? So that u don't do too much of them by yoself and OD??"
HE SAYS NO CAUSE HE FEEN THAT MUCH FOR PILLS WANTING THEM FOR HIMSELF ONLY
Then he wannabe in debt with the plug asking the plug to front him having some lil back and forth shit going on with the plug saying threats etc.
Is annoying asf I HATE the dumbass plugs for being stupid and gullible for fronting shit then they wanna cry about not getting paid
with me ALWAYS saying "STOP FRONTING HIM SHIT.
STOP TRYNA GET ME INVOLVED IDC.
WHEN HE PAY U DONT FRONT HIM SHIT NEVER AGAIN NO MORE"
Mfs don't listen
Man tough boat to be in but just say you’re there and I hope you get the chance to help like I never got too, life’s not easy it’s someone’s daughter or son and we all need someone to talk to even at the worst of times, I would do anything in the world just to get 5 more minutes with them❤
He's not my friend, he's my father. He's drug addicted, we tried hard to quit him but it's no worth. I don't want to loose him, a little hope is left but still it is. Please pray for my dad to quit drugs and became healthy again.
I have a friend who is excellent, intelligent, kind, and funny, but he's also suffers from addiction. He opened up to me a few days ago and let me know that he has relapsed and he also ordered a large quantity (280) of Ambien pills, which he's addicted. He was staying at my place after my surgery and I caught him stealing my pain meds. I asked him if he did and he admitted to it. Said it was his addiction and that he felt ashamed. I told him that I was not judging him and I know that is the process of recovery/addiction/relapse. I assured him that I would do anything for him to get better. We had a great talk and we told each other we loved each other as friends. I tried to reach out to him to talk about his relapse and things we can do to help. He then tells me he doesn't want to talk to me anymore and he wants me out of his life. He said that I was too codependent in our friendship. It totally came out of nowhere. I think he was projecting onto me so he wouldn't have to face the fact that I was the only one who knew he relapsed. Now we don't talk and he wants nothing to do with me. My heart is completely shattered. I hope that he gets the help he needs and remembers that I only wanted to help him. I really do care for him and I hope he comes around and we can be friends again.
It could be that he is projecting. I have found it easier to create distance with people who care about me, so I could carry on using, and have said things I don't mean, hurting people I didn't want to. It's hard to be friends with someone who it's hard to trust though, and stealing for whatever reason would be an obvious break of that trust. You need to have your boundaries and look after yourself and your needs. To try and push ahead in any kind of relationship (whatever that dynamic be, friendship or otherwise) when you are the only person doing the work, can be not only a heavy weight to bear on yourself, but counter productive for both you and them. I really hope your friend gets the help they need.
@@notnotnormal4205 You're absolutely right. That comment is a month old and I've came to many realizations since then. He is projecting onto me his darkness. It's not mine to bear, nor is it my journey to navigate. It's his. I miss him so much and it kills me that I can't help, but it's his journey and not mine. I am letting go and hoping that he comes around and comes back to me.
@@BooTanner I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m going through this with a friend now. He tells me that I’m toxic and he doesn’t want to talk to me again. I do tempt him to drop me and he goes quiet and than we just start laughing and talking about random stuff. I just said to him that I don’t trust him to call a doctor and he should let his parents do it and he hasn’t messaged me back. I learned quick that he was projecting on to me.
I’ve tried so hard to help my friend he’s now back in jail because he tested dirty now he’s going to a rehab for six months! I’m happy because he needs it!! ❤ happy healing everyone out there struggling!
Very helpful. It's so hard to see someone you love not wanting to get help and seeing them losing themselves 💔
U can’t help anyone unless they help themselves and some people are in denial that they have a problem .
No bullshit tho
I NEVER IN MY LIFE purchased a pack of cigarettes
When I was 7 I would act like I'm smoking cigarettes
When I was 12 I did cigarettes
When I was 15 I smoked weed I loved it and it was scary I was running away from the police I thought I was never gone be sober again😂😂
@ age 15 I would smoke cigarettes asking ppl for a cigarette
@ age 17 I saw a group of ppl @ my school chilling together smoking cigarettes
they hate when mfs ask them for a cigarette I ask them for a cigarette they ALL said "no I can't keep giving out cigarettes I need them for myself" I WAS VERY ANGRY AS FUCK and I remember walking away looking @ them then I look @ my hands SHAKING OUT OF CONTROL OVER CIGARETTES
I never bought no pack of cigarettes IN MY LIFE cause I NEVER felt like it was necessary and I felt better off asking ppl for a cigarette
I look @ my hands SHAKING on that day I started thinking about all those "stop smoking cigarettes" commericals I remember when they had that small lil man be like "u know wanna smoke cigarettes come on u will enjoy it let's go" etc.
I FELT LIKE THAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME AND
I HATED THAT FEELING VERY MUCH
I put myself inside avoiding EVERYBODY THAT SMOKE CIGARETTES I THANK EVERYBODY AT MY SCHOOL FOR BEING STINGY ABOUT CIGARETTES TELLING ME NO I SEE WHERE THEY COMING FROM AND THEY SAVED ME WITHOUT KNOWING IT CAUSE THEY WAS SELFISH THANK GOD I COULDA END UP BEING LIKE THEM BUT I CHOSE NOT TO AND I NEVER IN MY LIFE DID CIGARETTES AFTER AGE 17😐😐
I ALREADY KNEW WEED IS BETTER WHY TF WOULD I BUY CIGARETTES, DRINKS, PILLS, COKE AND SHIT??😐😐
^^^^^ I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW DRUG ADDICTS DONT HAVE THAT MINDSET
I TRIED PILLS BEFORE THE DOCTOR GAVE ME PERCS TOO etc.
AND I ONLY LOVE DOING WEED
Trying to help my boyfriend, if it doesn't get better I'mma have to leave him.
Howd it go?
@@obsamume8812 ya
Same sis :/
Yeah and that's what could really help him get better
this is amazingly accurate. it's important to note how much we need "addicts" in our society. By definition it's someone who will give up "normal" behaviors for whatever the addiction might be making their quality of life "lesser" than before, which hate to say but sort of includes (basically) the entire world.. A n y t h i n g can be an addiction. People don't realize Shopping can be an addiction. trying to micro-managae your children, needing to be the center of attention can be an addiction, needing to be right, literally anything. And we're all looking at eachother because it's more addicting than looking at ourselves and how we can be better examples of well-rounded individuals.
Confront your friend with love but be firm. I wish I had pushed my friend harder to seek treatment and now she is dead. I spent years trying to meet her where she was at but unfortunately we don’t live in the same world we used to. Fentanyl isn’t a joke or something that “other” people overdose on. I don’t think we have the luxury to leave anything off the table, speak truth to them and get them into treatment by whatever legal means you can.
Forcing them isn’t legal, talking to them doesn’t work after trying the kind, loving and firm approach. My bro keeps telling me he’ll quit slowly but it’s been such a long process I get more worried overtime.
Forcing them isn’t legal, talking to them doesn’t work after trying the kind, loving and firm approach. My bro keeps telling me he’ll quit slowly but it’s been such a long process I get more worried overtime.
What happened to your friend is what I fear could happen to him. Sorry for your loss of friend
@@Chilliedogs you’re right you cannot force them into treatment but I think I could have been more persuasive and not enabled them in my own way. I wish I had bared my soul and told them what their loss would mean to me but I couldn’t understand that until it was too
Late. I guess I thought I had time or that it just wouldn’t happen to her. All I am saying is don’t leave one stone unturned. If there is something you could say or do that you haven’t done or felt was out of the question seriously consider it. I am sorry you are going through this with your family, it is a very painful thing to experience.
I'm so sorry to read what's happened, Fentanyl destroyed my little sister and the worst part was it was given to her at the hospital and then her doctors when she came out from her surgery.
It's left her so severely disabled, it's hurts me to see my little sister in the state she's in now.
This is gold. Thank you so much. Just what I needed to help my friend
Me n my friend both have anxiety, but unlike myself he cant go more than a week without these things and he typically uses things far too lethal, whereas i have currently gone 2-3 months without a drink/joint, i know his problem far worse than mine might turn into, watching these vids really give me an idea of things to tell him just to convince him to stay strong. I just hope he doesnt die like how he often says he wishes he does in comedowns.
It hurts me so much knowing there might be someone somewhere alone dealing with this pain. Hold a hand of your friend and talk to them. We are here
I have this problem with some of my friends right now. ☹️ im only in 7th grade currently and it hurts so badly to see people you’ve known for a year change to be someone who you don’t even recognize anymore and kids my age are so peer pressured by drugs in order to have fun or coping mechanism. we're still so young it’s gut wrenching. horrible and them joking about drugs and there’s really nothing I could do, I’ve talked about it to some of them and said they would quit but never did. I’m glad though that I have other people as friends who also acknowledge it and trying to help aswell. we are still so young, immature and it’s so common in my school it sucks, you can never get your childhood back so seeing people you know not caring about it, it’s horrible. I know you can’t change people who don’t wanna be changed but these are people who I care about and they need help and someone to talk to. they’re encouraged by adults and other friends around them so it’s even harder. I’m not even that close to them as others but this video helped so much and I just wanna say thank you.
Best advice as someone who’s lost there best best friend I could’ve talked to at anytime to heroin,,,, just help and be there try hard not to give cash but give support it’s definitely hard but if I could’ve done something different I would’ve been there I helped n tried up till the last month let her stay brought her places made food had good times but sadly less than a month later I lost her and everyone did too just barely 21yrs old life’s crazy and never give up on your true friends we’ll never get friends like them back, and be respectful of bad choices and slip ups and just be there I just didn’t know how close time was I miss her a tremendous amount
Great advice ❤️ people should be more sympathetic to people struggling with substance abuse. We all need a little help sometimes!
Totally! Listen and understand - treat people how you would want to be treated, as these things can happen to any one of us. I didn't think it would be.
I'm trying to help 2 of my cousins one w a drug and one w a smoking I've been trying I hope I've made some difference there both underage I've not judged them been nice that's the only way
Edit I haven't told them DONT do __ or they would never listen to me
Thanks. This all made sense. I liked what you said about letting them talk, and not stepping on their story. I think that’s very true that when people, especially people who are addicted, are answering about their problems, they’re exploring these answers for the first time as well.
Thank you for sharing your insights. Someone I love is currently needing help and I needed to know how to help. Also, congratulations on your progress and sobriety
Daniel, thank you - I really hope things work out for your loved one. It's not an easy fight or a short one, but change is possible. x
Thank you for helping me help my London friend.🕯️
Thank you for your video. I’m helping my new girlfriend get through her recovery. It’s hard seeing her struggle because of me. Meth is all she has known for the last 13 yrs. But I will be here for her no matter what
How is she doing now bro?
thanks man true value in here, and also very impressed with you seems like you faced alot of demons and have come out on top, one love brother.
Thank you very much indeed Bart! Still doing the work and going back through the meeting process. Really glad you found it useful.
This helped a lot. I have an old friend thats in the streets doing hard drugs and I wasn’t sure how to help him. Next time I see him i’m just gonna ask if he’s good and how he’s been feeling/ how lifes been affecting him
Thank you so much for your help! I'll try to use your advice to help my friend through this as much as possible! :)
Very proud of you. You are the best you on you tube that talked about it. My partner is involved and I did not know nor suspected cuz I never tried or thought about it. I did put him under pressure because I didn't know what I was dealing with and he couldn't confront me afraid to lose me. But now that I know without him knowing that I do, I promised myself to do the best I can to at least not make him feel worse. I have been crying for 2 days since I realized that there was a problem and I have been reading and searching about the topic since. I still need to understand many things like if he runs out of money is it best to give him even if I knew where he was going to spend it or is it best to say I don't have so he would not have money to buy these stuff. I also wanted to know what to say and what not to say about it. And if I should make it clear that I already know or is confrontation not a good idea. I will keep on reading and learning until I believe I done my best to get him better.
I think we may have spoken about this away from youtube, but apologies if not. If you need any help or want to chat feel free to email me on notnotemail@gmail.com
I'm always here to listen.
Im talking to a person who struggles with it and they told be they took speed and idk what to do its not good for me as my mother just passed away from a drug overdose this is a great video and helped alot ❤
Exactly a week ago the same thing happened between me and my best friend/unofficial boyfriend. We've been sort of together for 1.5 years. A little more than friends with benefits. I've always been his high school crush. In that 1,5 time there were already a few ups and downs regarding whether we make it official or not. in the beginning I found it very difficult myself and always agreed with friends with benefits first. That already made it difficult for him, but I only saw the positive in it because I needed time. After a while I asked about it and he had already suppressed his feelings and could not suddenly open his wall again. I gave it time then, of course it hurt me because I had created it a bit myself. Later another conversation that I really wanted a relationship with him. He said he was allergic to the word relationship. After a few conversations like this it broke my heart every time. It made me insecure, often doubted, but I didn't give up. At one point we had such a fight that it was almost over in terms of friendship. Well I've always been one of the guys myself and I'm a super enthusiastic person also in terms of how I talk etc. Yes I made the mistake of going out to chill with a guy once, and my mistake that it was too flirty used to be. Never got to the point of meeting, almost just the contact disappeared. In retrospect I was happy and already regretted what I was doing. I was just super angry & insecure. Last weekend it got completely out of hand, I met up with an old colleague (never my intention for more) believe me! Just really to catch up and I even thought he would ask me to come back to work where we worked together because there is not enough staff everywhere. We drank to much and I had a black out. Finally when I cycled home with great difficulty I arrived at my flat and that kind of more than a friend was already at my flat. I arrived completely crying and because I already had such a blackout and too much drunk I just thought I had kissed (is not so and has been confirmed by that other ex colleague). Obviously that guy is all mad and by questions. I accidentally said something that just wasn't true. This escalated into a fierce argument. Now he had sniffed all evening, I k.o in bed because of the emotions and he has been going through my mobile all night. He has read everything with every acquaintance I know and what I will say I have always been one of the guys. Yes, I also read that conversation with that one guy I almost agreed with. Am I sorry I didn't delete it "no". First, I feel super guilty, but second, we've never had an official relationship. Now he doesn't believe anything anymore and that I flirt with all men and that I've done everything with who knows. It's not true, that night with that ex colleague nothing happened in terms of kissing. Because I had such a blackout, he told me that we got into a discussion because he didn't want me to cycle home like that, pushed him away and left. But that boy doesn't believe me at all anymore. Now I'm the worst thing that happened to him you name it. He uses coke every weekend and has said something about it several times. And sometimes during the week also including drinks. He says he has it under control, but I know it's a problem. Now I have personally taken some distance because I myself am talking to a psychologist to help myself with traumas etc etc. I have stopped smoking weed completely on my own since May 13th. So I'm busy with my own stuff. Now he does not want to admit in his behavior towards me and how he sends me messages that there is also a mental issue with him. I feel powerless. I want to help him, but I also have to help myself first. Now he hates me, but looking at himself in a mirror he can't say that this really isn't good for him and all his problems he already had. Sorry for this long message! But I'm distraught! I love him so much. All I wanted was to be with him! :(
1. Don’t enable them.
If your friends asks you to bring them drugs-tell em you’ll bring a punch to their face.
Your welcome
I agree 💯💯💯 My best friend is hooked on meth! I can't stand looking @ him! I've told him that! I can't be around whilst he's under the influence of drugs! But I did mention to him that, if he needs help I'm here!🙏🏻
What about whenever you see or hang out with them they're on coke and if u ask them not to while you're with them they just never call you for months on end.
Thanks , for posting this video I’m trying to help my friend
Hi Leslye, i'm sorry for only getting back to you now - i've been taking some time out myself to focus on my own recovery. I hope your friend is doing well and that you have been able to help.
Same here it’s a really serious thing
Good luck im trying to help one of my cousins and one w a smoking prob both underage
Thank you this is really helpful 😊
Robyn, it is my total pleasure.
Thank you for sharing!
I needed to hear this.
Blessings.
Glad it was helpful!
my best friend’s 16 year old boyfriend is addicted to cocaine. she’s 15 and she’s crying in bed right now hoping he hasn’t overdosed at a party. i don’t know how to help her help him but i don’t want her going through this
Thank you so much. I know this is an old video, but I had to turn to internet.
I’m trying to help my gf but we had alotta fights about about this subject to the point we almost broke up... the worst thing is that her “best friend” is also a dealer, she gives her all types of drugs.. and it hurts me so much to be the only one who sees that this “friend” is not a true friend, and she says that I judge her even tho I swear I don’t.. it just comes out bad everytime we talk about this subject and it sounds like I’m judging her and it ends in a fight. Anyways I hope I can help her through it.. and let her see that these things aren’t the answer/solution to her problems before it gets worse.
Thanks for the commend Dee. I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. As hard as it might be, do remember that you can't make your friend change, but only help them through things whilst keeping yourself safe too.
I really hope your friend decides to make a change.
@@notnotnormal4205 I really hope so too, thanks for replying.
I am so happy your here and I hope your staying strong. 🙏
Thank you for sharing, if you can do it, I believe that my son can do it to. Iove and appreciate your video, thank you so much and I know that God will give you everything you have asked throughout your life, stay safe. Remember your strength and courage ,you are worthy and extremely encouraging, motivating people is your superpower, I love your brother
Very good advice, thank you for doing it
Thank you Dorothy!
Great advice!! Hope you doing well now. When i focused on Yah's Word and started following Messiah my addictions fell away , my anxieties and worries disappeared, He took them away! He gave me a peace that surpasses all understanding. I am eternally grateful and pray for everyone going through hard times and that they open the door to The Most High who created them and Loves them no matter what they have done or do. Who will save them and give them a new heart, a fresh start. It's never too late. Sending you all Love, Strength and Courage to overcome. ❤
Really beautiful video. Thank you.
Thank you for making this excellent video!
My pleasure!
Thank you for sharing your experience a little...
My problem is that my best friend, besides getting into drugs has also mitomania. So I can never truly believe the things she tells me..
Mitomania or not, lying is a common thing with drug users
:( my sister is an addict to crystal now and she has a child. She's also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, the whole family is struggling with this and I worry lots about my nephew... I wish we can get over this at one point.
call cps. get the child out of there
best advice yet
Thanks Nathan
Really helpful ! I hope you are doing well, please keep posting videos :(
Gabriela, thank you! I'm so glad to hear this helped. I really want to get back in to the videos. I just need to be in the right place and have had a lot going on recently, but i'm safe and happy. Thank you for asking.
Thank you for this.
Very helpful and inspiring!Xx I think you are amazing for making this video!:) Thank you!X
Thank you so much! I'm glad you stumbled across the video and glad you found something helpful :)
I have a family member and friend that we are trying to help, she is struggling with injecting meth. She was on probation for some other things she did. She is now in jail for 120 days. We have her ex husband in a property we own for free. She came to live here because we thought that her ex husband wanted to help her. I talk to her a lot. She has BPD and I didnt want to be pushy with a relationship. But I am always here for her. I ask how she is feeling because I do love her. Maybe I need to be more initiative of a relationship because at one point she thought she lost me. Before she went to jail, I came in on a conversation where she was talking to a friend I thought was sober and helping her, but she said to him, now that Im not going to jail, we can go get the goods. She came back with an abcess on her arm and randomly made a scene saying she bumped it and had a welt. Then her ex husband covered for her and said she gets them all the time. I knew it was a miss mark. I was angry that her ex husband covered for her and Im afraid he is taking her to get drugs. She lied to me when we talked to her about it, which I understand. Its a hard thing to overcome. But I just dont know that she has hope for a better life, and I just have no clue if she wants help or if she just feels hopeless. I know she is ashamed. But, I fear when she gets out of jail she will live with her ex husband who will just enable this. So Im honestly thinking of evicting him and letting her and her boyfriend who sincerely wants to be sober live in the trailer. But they both dont have lisences. The boyfriend is living with us and helping my husband with his business and doesnt want to leave her, which I totally understand. I guess, I just think she wont get better if she lives with her ex husband who is enabling her and taking her to get drugs and covering for her. I dont think she wants to go to a rehabilitation center. Do you have any thoughts on this?
Thanks
Thank YOU.
Thank you for this, great advice!
Glad it was helpful!
my mom has drug problems and it’s just so painful to see her like that and she said she doesn’t have a drug problem
I have the same situation too sadly. My heart goes out to you. it's a very tough thing to witness when it's a parent. I really hope she has a moment of clarity and seeks the help that she needs.
I have a drug problem, when I drink I need a bag but then I go mental well…it’s hit or miss. I lose control, get aggressive with strangers and attacking friends when they touch me, forgetting who they are and my own morals, being dragged out of clubs, can’t see or think straight and sometimes just with drinking especially out in an unfamiliar setting. I am anxious, I am struggling and everyone is running away from me :( I feel so isolated and alone
I'm so sorry to hear this. I know it's been a while since you posted this, so please let me know how you are doing at the moment. I hope you are safe.
@@notnotnormal4205 I unfortunately have no friends left go out with so perhaps a good thing, but I am still in a drug and drink cycle worse since I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years! But some things have gotten better and I am achieving things more :) xx
@@HelenaGLongbottom53 you are worthy of love, you are worthy of recovery. You can do this x
Hello Ingrid, I'm sorry to read what's happened with you. Are you doing better now?
@@nathanjgtaylor1985 hiya I am in a better place recently :) just still struggling with drugs…
Don’t If I am going to destroy myself I’m going to do so it isn’t up to anybody to bully me over it thinking it will change things. Don’t add to the depression
Wish I would’ve watched this years ago
Hey great advice, ive been trying to pull my friend into a new enviroment away from drugs, we used to do drugs or smoke every single day, ive been 1 year sober now and want the same for them but it seems my friend cant give up our previous friends who are still using and fucking up, how can i help them take the leap?
Kjetil Gundersen tell him that their love is poison
Kjeti, i'm sorry I have only just got back now - i've been taking sometime to focus on my own recovery. Firstly - amazing work you have done yourself. A year is BRILLIANT. Congratulations. Regards your friend - this is a difficult situation.
As i'm sure you can remember - You can't lead other people to change. them change. You can only really be there to make sure they are safe, and should they need support, you are there to help.
It might be an idea to offer them an alternative if you haven't already done so. Breaking the cycle is difficult enough when you want to do it, let alone when you don't. I guess that's the why the concept of 'rock bottom' exists - things get so bad that you are forced to see the situation for what it is and have to change.
Obviously this is difficult, it's hard to watch someone you love put themselves through something that can be self destructive. So be sure to ask for help and support yourself if you need it.
@@notnotnormal4205 yes I have heard of hitting rock bottom, my hubby has been battling with addiction for years now and its getting so bad, my heart is breaking, He was caught stealing all to support his habit and is currently in jail. Everyone thinks I am dumb for staying with him but he is truly such a kind person and I love him so much. I don't know what to do, I need support but no one is willing to help me unless I leave him. I am so sad, I feel like my world is falling apart.
Hey. Great video, thanks for the help. I’m almost a year and a half sober now, and have watched my best friend go through a terrible hard drug issue. He now keeps going through being sober for a couple of weeks and back to doing drugs. Big issue is we are in different countries. Meaning different time zones, etc. I can’t get him away from the people that he’s getting drugs through. He says he can keep himself from actually buying drugs, but once a friend has them he’s back to doing them. We’ve had the conversation a billion times. How can I get him to do something like go to rehab?
Is hey okay?
What do you do if your friend does not acknowledge the danger of using?
He said he will not be able to stay awake to work thru his night shift ...and have enough energy without it?
That’s difficult. You can’t make someone change as painful as it is. The need to really want to make a change as it takes a lot of work. That kind of cycle your friend is on sounds very tiring in the long term and not all that cost effective. Just let them know you are there if and when they want to talk and let them know you are worried about how this works in the long term as this isn’t really much of a solid plan. Sleep and coffee seems much more stable and safe. X
Also I believe that my partner is addicted to pills such as Lyrica, cannabis, and still not sure what else. He denied any but I know because I have seen some proof of it. I wonder how serious it is and what can it cause. I have also noticed red pimples around the eyes, weight increases, sloppy appearance, and others. I wonder if addiction can transform into something else, like sex for example, Or not? Please talk about these topics so anyone who is like me would benefit from it.
All the best and please communicate whenever you feel like it more than happy to listen.
One of my best friends is addicted to huffing air duster... It's so hard to help him and I need help
I want to help my ex girlfriend she is an addict... the problem is she don't want to talk to me so how can i help her n i would love you to make a vedio about "how to be a friend to a drug addict"
It's very difficult Narry. Much like helping someone, it is limiting being a friend to someone who is an addict, as friendship exists between two people and needs both of you to be in it and focussed (much like any relationship) The best thing you can do is let them know you care about them and are worried - and that you are there to talk if and when they want to talk to you.
Also best of wishes to your friend and I hope she gets the help she needs. I suggest starting to find out what help is available near her.
It's ok to tell her mother n it will be helpfull??
Tnx for the advice
I have already lost a friend to that and I am watching a friend do it again now i invite him for a drink and he sniffs every 5 minutes in like an hour he sniffed like 200 pounds worth of that shit
Subscribing. Thank you 🙏🏽
Dude i dont know what to do, the one i love has been doing drugs for 6 years and i really love them and dont want to lose them because of drugs. They are going to therapy but dorsnt want to open up to the therapist, theyre very young... theyre 16... anyone has any good tips in helping???
Would it be helpful if you said to them you no longer want to be in their life but will be there for them if they need someone to talk to about their problem? I know this may sound selfish, but isn't is enabling to tell them you care, and give them resources, ect, but yet they continue? Where do you draw the line and say to them that they will continue to be an addict but you are no longer going to allow yourself to see them do whatever they want? I know they are going through some serious stuff, but is it ok to to move on but also offer them to call you only if they want to talk about their addiction or their progress with recovery? I also don't want to be a part of their addiction if they get worse because of me saying I can't enable you, it's a double edged sword, any suggestions?
It's difficult, and I hate to say it but there is no hard and fast rule. It can certainly hurt to watch someone harm themselves and how you are doing is important to keep aware of. I don't know if it is enabling unless you are faciliting their habit or allowing the space for them to think things are fine and carry on in denial. If the person is up to have the conversation maybe it might be an idea to ask them, as it would maybe show how much you care, have put thought and attention in to the situation but yet you are at a cross roads yourself in how to deal with their behaviour. Sometimes cutting people off can lead to them becoming more isolated, but there is definitely a line that has to be drawn, and that line is different for everyone and each situation. So, that isn't much of a simple answer, but I hope it's of some help. There are groups out there for friends and families of people in active addiction, it might be worth looking up to see what resources are near you / or if there are any websites that might offer some more solid guidance. I can only really speak from my own experiences and think it's always good to see what others recommend too.
My friend wont listen to me😔😔
Hi, That can only be a really difficult situation and i'm sorry to hear that. The hard thing with friends and family, or people with problems in general is that you can't make them change. You can only really be there to make sure they are safe, ask if they want to maybe go out (it's a great distraction) and should they need support, you are there to help.
Obviously this is difficult, it's hard to watch someone you love put themselves through something that can be self destructive. So be sure to ask for help and support yourself if you need it.
my friend keeps saying that you o my live once and it’s fun so she won’t stop. what should i do?
It sounds like you might appear that you are the moral police to your friend. Ask your friend on drugs to pray over you bc you have a problem.
What do you do when they want to talk about how its your fault and you're doing it to them on purpose and thats why they keep using.
I'm a mother going through that and I just don't know what to do anymore, I pray 24/7.
@nick ramos
I’m in 8th grade. My friend is addicted to nicotine. 😕