The thing I find most people dont understand is that after awhile you arent using to get high. You're using so you dont get withdrawal symptoms and feel horrid. When you wake up and feel the shivers and pains and restlessness start to creep in, your mission becomes "How do I stop this feeling?" So you get high to stop from feeling that. I remember thinking to myself "I'll know I'm better when I wake up in the morning and my first thought is 'coffee!' instead of 'How do I get pills today?'" I was about 2 weeks into treatment and I woke up and went straight to the coffee pot and made myself a cup and sat down and realized that I hadn't woke up with "how do I get pills today?" In my head for about a week and I started crying because I realized that my goals had become "how do I get better" and not "How do I stop feeling like shit?"
Aimee Grober Of course, the using to get high lasts a couple of months.....then there will be that one day where your supply has been cut off. Only then does it smack you into reality! You start getting sicker and sicker, start sweating and shivering, getting goosebumps, your eyes start watering, nose running, muscles aching....you try to speak but start yawning....the yawn makes your eyes run...which brings on an all over shiver that rocks you to your bones as your muscles seize up in agony.... You cook up a hit...but you've fucked up so many veins, you can't even get a hit. It's all disgusting. We should all wonder why this info wasn't given out with our first hit.... Because it's illegal. Legalise it all, educate everyone.
One of the things I remember most about my opioid addiction is the envy I felt for others with no chemical dependency. And knowing the added challenge of starting to date someone and having to admit it to them. It was depressing. Now I’m 10 months clean. I’m proud of this, although I miss being able to self medicate. I just have to remember how shameful it was. Good luck to any of you who are trying to get clean. You have to eliminate many people you associate with. And believe in yourself. You can do it.
I completely agree! I’m on suboxone at the moment and have been single the past 10 years because I’m so ashamed to have to admit it to someone because I think they will not understand and leave. So I’m just not putting myself out there and am pretty lonely. All my friends are married and have children and I’m still on my own and getting left behind. I pretty much have nothing in common with any of them anymore which makes me pretty sad. I wish I could go back in time and realise that pills are just going to make things worse in the long run more than they will make me feel better at the time!
I completely relate to the feeling of envy for people who don’t have a chemical dependency. I’m jealous that many people can go about their day without having to take any kind of substance just to get through it x
No, its knowing you minds well be dead because nothing is working and nobody cares... probably sleeping outside homeless for years EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW PEOPLE
"Looking to get low" "pain was my motivating factor" Heroin abuse took my father's life, he was only 38. These videos are priceless to my understanding of his mindset and what he went through.
38 days in and I feel a great deal of happiness for my recovery... One day at a time... My rock bottom was hearing my daughter tell me she loves me but when my 1st grandbaby will be born 10/17/2020, I could see her baby but I will not be able to be around or keep her baby if I was high... No ma'am!!! That was heart breaking... She asked me was I mad at her and I told her no I'm actually proud of her for wanting to protect her baby because becoming & being a mother starts when you find out you're pregnant and although it was disheartening to hear, I was so proud at the young woman I had raised. 04/06/2020 is a day I thank the Lord for... Keep praying for me y'all & we all got this!!! 🙏🙏🙏♥️💞♥️
My sister overdosed at 24. I was 13. She was waiting on a bed at a rehab facility. Struggled with drug abuse for about 10 years and heroin for about 5. Sending all of my love to these beautiful strong women for shedding light on this disease. We can’t solve a problem we don’t talk about.
Education and awareness is a must. If only I had someone come into my school with a missing limb because of a bad injection, swollen hands because they had used all the veins in their hands/arms and fingers, scars all over their bodies from missing their hits...making the flesh die leaving craters all over their arms and legs. Explaining that they HAD TO INJECT every single day, just to feel normal....and that meant finding a vein... on their limbs covered in scars. That every minute mattered! You’re feeling sicker and sicker the longer it took, hands shaking, sneezing, yawning, eyes watering, muscles aching and twitching, goosebumps and sweating, bones killing you with pain.....but you can’t stop, you have to find that vein! Stab here, then there, then here, then there...blood everywhere and pain increasing... stabbing your foot, no luck, stabbing the sole of your foot! No luck... eyes watering, stabbing your legs, thighs! On and on and on for hours,...then after a few hours of butchering, you’ll get a vein. Then rest for a few hours until you have to do it all over again.... ex addicts need to talk at schools and tell the truth about addiction. There is nothing cool about any of it. (Sorry if this was abit too in-depth! I’ve been there!) x
You are so right. I remember one night before I was getting into a program, I couldn't hit myself. My bf at the time even tried behind my knees. Nothing was registering, and I was so desperate, so sick, I was about to just skin pop. I finally got it, but when I went to the bathroom to wash all the blood off, I looked into the full length mirror behind the door by accident. I looked like a murder victim. I had already been stress crying for hours, but right then I started sobbing. I knew I was killing myself, but bc I still took relatively good care of myself & put on a face of stolen makeup most days, it was easy to lie to myself when my outsides didn't look bad. But now I couldn't ignore the horror pouring down my arms & legs. Every time I want to use, well, most times, I try to remember that picture.
Julianna H5782 I absolutely feel your pain. Nowadays, I have to deal with the loss of veins. My hands look like boxing gloves, the blood being forced into the smallest capillaries (all veins used) making them red and swollen forever more... Also, I’m constantly hot! Like feeling boiling hot and constantly sweating, because my blood can no longer cool off via my skin and veins. I’ve traded my street addiction to the methadone clinic (for the third time! 1st was 2001) so I’ll only feel ill (withdrawals) once a week when my prescription has to be renewed. It’s a definite step forward. You just need AC for the rest of your life!
I am 26 yrs old. I have been an addict since 14.. it is a horrible life to live. Hopelessness is the worst feeling ever.. I'm just now finally putting my life back together so that my son has a present mother. So I can try to become happy again and give him a good, happy life.. congrats to ALL recovering addicts 💗
2 minutes in and I know I am not alone. After giving birth to my son, I felt so detached and inhuman I wanted to just be numb. Forever. I’ve slowly started to put myself back together through the help of a LOT of medical professionals and I have “forgotten” about the pills and the dependency because I’m a participant in my life every day. You show up, you give everything, if the redhead in the video sees this: you’ve told my story. And, I connect with you - with all of you - more than you know. There is hope every day. You just keep going.
Alicia Eberle it's because not a lot of us make it out. I'm 20yrs in. But these vids want to just have happy stories of ppl who used for a few years, then sorted their lives out. Not everyone gets out so easy. Abuse and other disgusting things are always issues that influence young kids when it comes to drug use. It's all so sad, I'm only just about trying to get out and I'm OLD! If you can see this, save yourselves. X
@@the7thwreck I am aware that a lot of people can't get out of their addiction and end up dying using. I feel like addicts get portayed a certain way in media and that's what I meant with my comment. I also saw your other comment and I'm really sorry you have to go through this and hope that one day you can get clean, even though it's gonna be really fucking hard
Great video! Especially the lady in the white jacket. I could feel her words deep in my soul. To anyone suffering from addiction know this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can do this! You do NOT have to be addicted forever. You CAN become the person you want to be and take full control of your life! I've been free from heroin addiction for almost 15 years, after being in a living hell for more than a decade. It was not easy but it was so worth it. To anyone struggling I wish you only the best in your walk to recovery! You are not alone. Blessings.
My dad works at a renewal center. After being exposed to these kinds of conversations I understand how hard it is and I accept people who struggle with addiction, even if I don't struggle with that myself. ❤
Being raised and surrounded by addicts all of my life, I have a lot of anger towards them. But hearing recovery stories is so healing for me. To see them come out the other side brings me to tears and brings me to the place of compassion I need to be. Thank you, ladies for being so strong and sharing your journey. 💙
Do not turn away from those you see struggle w mental health issues or drugs. The shame will have them escape from your life and there will be no remorse. Anything to escape the shame. Love and listening is the only way
I was always able to walk away after trying different drugs like marijuana and cocaine When I hurt my back I was prescribed opiates I could say I was never addicted because I never took more than I was suppose to take But I found out when I ran out I had terrible withdrawals Now that I have cancer in the bones I have plenty of pain medication but I’d trade it all away to have my health back I’m amazed that all these young people are prescribed so many different pills
3 years sober. relapsed once. to this day, i still sometimes miss the drug. the high. the lifestyle. but im determined not to make it back to “my” rock bottom. prison was it for me. either i go back to the streets, & eventually die. or spend my life in and out of bein locked up. one thing i will say... my heart wasnt gonna accept that fate. ive never been happier in my life. took 25 years. heartache, pain.. trials & tribulations. numbness. feeling too much. losses. gains. doubts. fears. but a will to never go back to feeling like “the walking dead”. my will to live is deeper than the drug. and thats what pushed , pushes me out and on track
“Shame and guilt is a miserable thing and it grabs on to you like a cloak”. Never has something I’ve heard rang so true. That feeling of a hangover when you are an alcoholic and hating yourself so much and everything you do that you have to drink again. The guilt is so painful. I feel that.
So proud to see literal proof that recovery is possible. I'm here looking for inspiration to do the same, thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. Personally I appreciate it so very much.
addiction is so present today in our society and i personally see it all the time. so proud of all of the people in this video, all of those in recovery, and everyone who’s fighting to get better. So glad this video was made 💕
Mariel's tattoos look BOMB- for real, this sleeve is beautiful and so well executed (love the color saturation)! Congratulations for such good content, it's important for these voices to be given a platform and heard. Much love and support to you all!
Rih to my fiance Elijah Arrington. I miss more then anything. Just know losing someone to this opioid crisis will have you up at 3am, trying to cope with that love ones death. Lets win this fight. Stop using.
Well done to all of you on video who overcame everything and got your life’s back ! Very hard to come off drugs , so amazing to see anyone get well 👍🏻💕
I remember once I realized how opiates made me feel, the decision was made never be without them. It was a beautifully sick love affair. One that eventually abuses the user. The user is their sick state says the dope still loves me I'm just not loving it enough. I must rededicate my love for this substance. It's truly a love hate relationship that will eventually leave your life decimated.
Some excellent perspectives here - really appreciate the speakers for helping to break the stigma and contributing to this vital dialogue. I had a cousin pass away from addiction and have a very dear friend who recently told me that he's struggling with addiction issues, so I feel very concerned and a sense of responsibility as a friend to be a part of his recovery. Obviously its such a sensitive topic for someone going through it and difficult as an outsider to know how to bring it up, but hearing about the 'shame cycle' really drives home the fact that 'tip toeing' around it can also play into the sense of stigma that someone has about it. *It's too serious not to take seriously.* Moving forward, I think it's important to acknowledge that drug addiction is something that we can all relate to - like any habit that distracts us from something we don't want in our lives or minds. Also, it seems that unrealistic expectations and stereotypes can overshadow the particulars of one's real life and confuse ones ability to process and accept one's problems as important problems. I think as friends and family to loved ones with addiction issues we can play a part in re-writing the expectations of what will or won't be accepted from them by accepting the drug habit (and the underlying triggers) as part of being a human - that because being human comes with opportunities as well as vulnerabilities, we are all vulnerable to traps such as addiction. And by taking these vulnerabilities seriously, we can help to establish an environment of realistic expectations in which value is given to any and every effort towards health and honesty.
Everyone talks about how they physically feel. My problem was more so how I mentally felt. The depression and hopelessness is absolutely unbearable. It's either kill myself or get pills. Those would be the only options in my head. It is torture
@@lisaballico its been like four years since I stopped opiates. I do go to therapy for anxiety and depression. It took a my brain to readjust itself. It was a horrible time. I did have physical effects for over a year but nothing compared to the emotional depression
These woman are so brave. Thank you for your honesty. This is what we need. Clarity and eye-openning information. THANK YOU. Please keep making videos like this
As someone who has never been addicted to any drug, never even tried any hard drug, it is incredibly difficult for me to understand why anyone would even try these drugs let alone allow themselves to become addicted. I think the most important thing is to identify these things as evil and never give them power over yourself. I understand that people are in pain both physically and emotionally, but you must realize that these drugs are not a cure and will only cause you greater pain and misery in the long run
Like they started shooting heroin? Mine started smoking weed, then one vicodin every few weeks at a party. That's how it starts. Then as you realize you feel so much better, so much better adjusted to life, you take more over years. It's not a " i feel sad I'll do heroin and crack today" decision. It's not cut and dry
It’s obvious you’ve never been in so much pain you wished you were dead. 24/ 7 for 6 months before I could even get in to see a doctor in pain management. They are the only ones allowed in my state to prescribe them. I never even took Tylenol before I hurt my back. The relief came after I was finally prescribed lortab. Spinal fusion, a cadaver disc was my surgery. The sciatica pain so intense it was on fire inside my leg all day and night. Only with the pain meds am I able to function and hold a job. I have never tried to get that first high only want pain relief. So until you’ve experienced this type of pain you will never know why people take them.
i lost my dad to to addiction 2 years ago when i was 13. In my generation, the social norm to “act like a crackhead” or party carelessly has taken ahold of me. My whole fathers side struggled and lost their lives with many addictions but seeing these woman fight not only for themselves, but the people surrounding them brings me so much joy.
@F Trakk You are an ignorant savage. This drug crisis was manufactured by the pharmaceutical companies for profits. Just because you were lucky enough not to have a surgical procedure during this time doesn't make you exempt. Eventually you will need pain killers and big pharma will be there to get you addicted. So laugh at yourself when you get there.
Wow. Great video. This is type of video I’ve been waiting to see. It’s important to hear recovered addicts describe to non-addicts what struggling addicts are facing. Thank you so much for creating this video. 🙏
To be vulnerable for a second, I have tried a lot of drugs (ecstasy, molly, cocaine, muchrooms) but I made a promise to myself that I would never try heroin or meth because of a movie I saw when I was younger called Requiem for a Dream. Tbh it kind of traumatized me, and I don't think it's a good movie for all 14 year olds to watch... but I think it was a good thing for me because I kept that in the back of my mind throughout the whole time I was going down the wrong path. Thankfully I haven't done any drugs for the past 3 years, except for a drink every now and then.
My hats off to these woman. An E.R. Doctor prescribed Ativan for anxiety. I took it for a month and I wanted off of it! I had become dependent on it. My Doctor said this will be the hardest thing you've ever done, I was very cocky and responded I've done hard things before! Omg! It took me 2 months to slowly ween off this medication. It was a nightmare. I have never experienced anxiety on that level before. Congratulations to anyone trying to quit. You can do it! The pain won't last forever. I had my Doctor put it on my charts that I'm allergic to Ativan, I never want to take that crap again. God Bless everyone in recovery, you guys are survivors and I'm proud of you.
Growing up as a kid in the middle of the opioid “crisis” and all of that just looking in on the situation just makes me extremely scared to get addicted to drugs and all that which is a good thing but it makes me scared to even take something stronger than ibuprofen for a severe migraine because I’m too scared that I’m gonna get addicted lmao
Also, have you looked into any alternative options for dealing with your migraines? I've never had a migraine, but I've heard of a few different remedies for them.
Woah 8 years old!! Why so young? What was going on in your life that at 8yrs old that you wanted to escape reality? I have two little girls one fixing to turn 8 in a couple of months the other turning 7 in 4 1/2 months and it's not even a blip on their radar to try and bend their reality. Blessings and Prayers to all in need.
Makes me grateful that prescription pain meds make me throw up. I hate 'em. Also, if you make a firm decision when you're young that you will never do illegal drugs, it's much easier to avoid trying them. I did that and it worked.
This may sound insane, but people that start off with heroin tend to have a shorter addiction duration than people who take pills first. I'm a fentanyl addict in recovery btw, been through it
unlike meth and cocaine its definitely harder to see who a heroin addict is. through out my use nobody knew that i was addicted an that was when i turned to injecting. the moment i started to use meth was the moment everybody around me knew i was using. thats 100% facts
my sister is addicted to opioids and has been addicted for a few years now, it’s extremely difficult trying to help her because she’s also bipolar It’s so tiring. She’s tried getting clean but it was only for a week and she lied to our mom about being clean so she wouldn’t have to pay rent. She doesn’t pay rent she works as a CNA at a hospital, we all try to help her but she makes it so hard
When quitting you have to fill ur time with something positive for me its gym sitting around doing nothing will more then likely lead u to relapse stay strong
I don't think that there is a rock bottom either at least not for me. I am addicted to food and yeah there is always the posibility of doing it again and everytime abuse even worse.
I know growing up ,I was told not to do drugs. The commercial with the eggs saying your brain on drugs,I listen. If someone tells you something bad WHY WOULD YOU DO IT 🤔?
It doesn't always start with needing to nod off. Wanting to socialize and taking one vicodin was how it started for me. Then spent 7 years on heroin and crack
"I found out I could snort my Xanax and get a better high..." WRONG, Xanax works less efficently insuflated, it's one of the few drugs that do. Her emotions about that is purely emotional, it's ritualistic.
@@ticklemelexii I'm craving 24-7. It drives me insane. It's a constant battle, it's like one side of my brain is battling the other side. If you ever want to talk my email is vanderbiltkate(at)gmail(dot)com and I'll send you my social media
I know the medications and the Heroin is the same. But the lifestyle isn't and they feel like two separate videos in my opinion. Despite how suicidal the withdrawals made me, I was absolutely resolute in avoiding heroin. After seeing how dependant pills made me, heroin never even became a second thought, despite how much cheaper and easier it is to come by. I don't know, maybe its different in America where pills are likely astronomically expensive.
The Lady in the blue dress and the blond one and absolutely beautiful , I would be proud to take them out to dinner or a movie anytime . May God bless and protect them all .
If you are the leader of a illegal drug cartel, would hope for more Americans to become addicted to legal opioids, the price of this legal medication would soon become too expensive for daily maintenance, will soon be forced to purchase the more cheaper street substances of which your livelihood depends, have only to sit back and wait for the customers to come banging on your doors…Pharmaceutical manufactures, prescribers, and dispensaries, all become top earners on the backs of the addicted…and this is the sad part to report, law enforcement gains can be included, infringing on civil liberties of us all…with massive search-and-seizure invasion’s of our homes and privacy, and I would be remiss if another top earner is not included, expensive drug rehabilitation centers…all providing a toxic undesirable mix into our lives…
To say that the stigma is what kills people is going too far - it casts a personal problem as a societal problem, which it definitely is not. I know what people mean when they say things like that - I want to see society be more compassionate towards addicts, and to reach a hand out to them instead of judging them - but I refuse to blame society for the problems of addicts. That's a fine distinction, but it's important. The road out of addiction is paved with personal responsibility, and the road in is paved with the abandonment thereof. Before you assume that I'm just some judgemental douche, re-read the above carefully and understand that I'm not speaking theoretically.
Who are addicts? The kid next to you in highschool. Your doctor. Your college professor. Addiction doesnt care what you look like, how you were raised, your religion, or you! Say something to the people you love. It's no fun visiting your friends at a cemetery.
At present, 400,000-500,000 Americans are estimated to have died of opioid overdoses since the turn of the millennium, then all opioid-related deaths such as accidents, suicide, hepatitis, etc. are added, while the number of deaths in covid 19 is estimated at 87,000.
It never ceases to amaze how nobody EVER points the finger at cartels or drug pushers on the street going out of their way to make people addicted. And the ones benefiting the most, even more so than pharma is drug cartels. 🤷🏻♀️
The thing I find most people dont understand is that after awhile you arent using to get high. You're using so you dont get withdrawal symptoms and feel horrid. When you wake up and feel the shivers and pains and restlessness start to creep in, your mission becomes "How do I stop this feeling?" So you get high to stop from feeling that.
I remember thinking to myself "I'll know I'm better when I wake up in the morning and my first thought is 'coffee!' instead of 'How do I get pills today?'"
I was about 2 weeks into treatment and I woke up and went straight to the coffee pot and made myself a cup and sat down and realized that I hadn't woke up with "how do I get pills today?" In my head for about a week and I started crying because I realized that my goals had become "how do I get better" and not "How do I stop feeling like shit?"
Aimee Grober Wow.
dxm can really help with the tolerance
Aimee Grober Of course, the using to get high lasts a couple of months.....then there will be that one day where your supply has been cut off. Only then does it smack you into reality! You start getting sicker and sicker, start sweating and shivering, getting goosebumps, your eyes start watering, nose running, muscles aching....you try to speak but start yawning....the yawn makes your eyes run...which brings on an all over shiver that rocks you to your bones as your muscles seize up in agony.... You cook up a hit...but you've fucked up so many veins, you can't even get a hit. It's all disgusting.
We should all wonder why this info wasn't given out with our first hit.... Because it's illegal. Legalise it all, educate everyone.
That's amazing. That almost made *me* cry.
I hope you're still focusing on how to get better and not how to not feel terrible. ❤
I need help and ur comment did good bit
“You can always go deeper” that hit deep inside of my soul #sober3years
Rock bottom is whenever you stop digging.
ChrisFarmer thank you for this, I needed to hear it.
Rock bottom is death. It ain’t over till it’s over!
xim3n4 oh yea! Same here... I am going to start again for like the 100th time... please wish me luck !
Blanca Lopez Hey girl hang in there and surround yourself by people that love you no matter what ❤️
Congratulations to all those in this video; seriously well done for overcoming your addiction! x
One of the things I remember most about my opioid addiction is the envy I felt for others with no chemical dependency.
And knowing the added challenge of starting to date someone and having to admit it to them. It was depressing.
Now I’m 10 months clean.
I’m proud of this, although I miss being able to self medicate. I just have to remember how shameful it was.
Good luck to any of you who are trying to get clean. You have to eliminate many people you associate with. And believe in yourself.
You can do it.
Congrats!! Hope you're still doing well 👍💞😊
Audri Shimkaitis Thank you!
I’ve been clean for a year now. Feels great. 👊🏼
I completely agree! I’m on suboxone at the moment and have been single the past 10 years because I’m so ashamed to have to admit it to someone because I think they will not understand and leave. So I’m just not putting myself out there and am pretty lonely. All my friends are married and have children and I’m still on my own and getting left behind. I pretty much have nothing in common with any of them anymore which makes me pretty sad. I wish I could go back in time and realise that pills are just going to make things worse in the long run more than they will make me feel better at the time!
I completely relate to the feeling of envy for people who don’t have a chemical dependency. I’m jealous that many people can go about their day without having to take any kind of substance just to get through it x
Shannon_Walker Let that motivate you. It’s what helped me. Even though it sucked getting clean.
"You will never find your rock bottom. The true rock bottom is dying" that hits me hard
@F Trakk 😢😢😢
@@k.g.m.254 😮🥺💔🤦♀️💐
it's true
Take Ritalin and you will have high libido and stop doing drugs and alcohol
No, its knowing you minds well be dead because nothing is working and nobody cares... probably sleeping outside homeless for years EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW PEOPLE
I'm a heroin addict-- 1 year and 6 months clean..besides pot, I'll never give that up. Subscribed.
Kristine Noffsinger congratulations on the clean time.
@@Toby3610 thank you babe!! Life is great!!
@ALF Raydough will I though? You're right I will succeed at life. 😊
ALF Raydough WOW! Really mean and unnecessary comment.
you go girl! 😊 proud of you, you got this! 🌷
"Looking to get low" "pain was my motivating factor"
Heroin abuse took my father's life, he was only 38. These videos are priceless to my understanding of his mindset and what he went through.
@Mark Stewger you’re the worst person I’ve ever seen .. grow up
So sorry
I'm so proud of all of you! Hang in there y'all...it gets better! I am 10 years clean from heroin use and couldn't be happier.
Greg & Lisa Ciociola It does get better i thought it wouldn't but it does
I am on morphine substitution for 10 years. How can i ever stop.... I pray to god he will help me
Alexander von Makedonien You need to research Kratom! It can completely change your life
Good luck!❤️
Greg & Lisa Ciociola If you are using methadone or other opiates, you aren't clean at all.
@Film him!! General speaking.
But the people sitting on the side of the street and who don't have homes or jobs deserve sympathy and help too!
India McAlister so true
India McAlister 🙏🏻
Do you know the prodject Soft White Underbelly here at facebook! You need to check that out. Its gold!
Yes it’s sad that ball players and people in Hollywood make millions and yet there are so many people living on the streets
@@funnight56 I worked with the homeless when I was in Kiwanis
Your comment is very ignorant
That’s not true at all
38 days in and I feel a great deal of happiness for my recovery... One day at a time... My rock bottom was hearing my daughter tell me she loves me but when my 1st grandbaby will be born 10/17/2020, I could see her baby but I will not be able to be around or keep her baby if I was high... No ma'am!!! That was heart breaking... She asked me was I mad at her and I told her no I'm actually proud of her for wanting to protect her baby because becoming & being a mother starts when you find out you're pregnant and although it was disheartening to hear, I was so proud at the young woman I had raised. 04/06/2020 is a day I thank the Lord for... Keep praying for me y'all & we all got this!!! 🙏🙏🙏♥️💞♥️
I hope you are doing well. Im encouraged by your words
Update us, how's it going?
10 days off and I feel human again!!!!
Ellie Holmes congratulations
Only after 10 days?!
Hey if interested look up real talk recovery its helped lots of people
@@bobbielynnmott2323 On TH-cam or ???
@@ChicagosSinfulSwede yes mam
My sister overdosed at 24. I was 13. She was waiting on a bed at a rehab facility. Struggled with drug abuse for about 10 years and heroin for about 5. Sending all of my love to these beautiful strong women for shedding light on this disease. We can’t solve a problem we don’t talk about.
I'm a recovering heroin addict and I am in university studying immunology now and life is good. Life can be so much better on the other side of it.
Congrats to u dear
I needed to read this.
Education and awareness is a must. If only I had someone come into my school with a missing limb because of a bad injection, swollen hands because they had used all the veins in their hands/arms and fingers, scars all over their bodies from missing their hits...making the flesh die leaving craters all over their arms and legs. Explaining that they HAD TO INJECT every single day, just to feel normal....and that meant finding a vein... on their limbs covered in scars. That every minute mattered! You’re feeling sicker and sicker the longer it took, hands shaking, sneezing, yawning, eyes watering, muscles aching and twitching, goosebumps and sweating, bones killing you with pain.....but you can’t stop, you have to find that vein! Stab here, then there, then here, then there...blood everywhere and pain increasing... stabbing your foot, no luck, stabbing the sole of your foot! No luck... eyes watering, stabbing your legs, thighs! On and on and on for hours,...then after a few hours of butchering, you’ll get a vein. Then rest for a few hours until you have to do it all over again.... ex addicts need to talk at schools and tell the truth about addiction. There is nothing cool about any of it. (Sorry if this was abit too in-depth! I’ve been there!) x
You are so right. I remember one night before I was getting into a program, I couldn't hit myself. My bf at the time even tried behind my knees. Nothing was registering, and I was so desperate, so sick, I was about to just skin pop. I finally got it, but when I went to the bathroom to wash all the blood off, I looked into the full length mirror behind the door by accident. I looked like a murder victim. I had already been stress crying for hours, but right then I started sobbing. I knew I was killing myself, but bc I still took relatively good care of myself & put on a face of stolen makeup most days, it was easy to lie to myself when my outsides didn't look bad. But now I couldn't ignore the horror pouring down my arms & legs. Every time I want to use, well, most times, I try to remember that picture.
Julianna H5782 I absolutely feel your pain. Nowadays, I have to deal with the loss of veins. My hands look like boxing gloves, the blood being forced into the smallest capillaries (all veins used) making them red and swollen forever more... Also, I’m constantly hot! Like feeling boiling hot and constantly sweating, because my blood can no longer cool off via my skin and veins.
I’ve traded my street addiction to the methadone clinic (for the third time! 1st was 2001) so I’ll only feel ill (withdrawals) once a week when my prescription has to be renewed. It’s a definite step forward. You just need AC for the rest of your life!
I am 26 yrs old. I have been an addict since 14.. it is a horrible life to live. Hopelessness is the worst feeling ever.. I'm just now finally putting my life back together so that my son has a present mother. So I can try to become happy again and give him a good, happy life.. congrats to ALL recovering addicts 💗
You can inject it into the hip or other areas of the body instead of intravenous. It just absorbs slower intramuscular.
Hugh Haefner wtf man are u not listening
I kept thinking they were all disabled and then realized it was just a regular chair.
🤣🤣🤣
😂
2 minutes in and I know I am not alone. After giving birth to my son, I felt so detached and inhuman I wanted to just be numb. Forever. I’ve slowly started to put myself back together through the help of a LOT of medical professionals and I have “forgotten” about the pills and the dependency because I’m a participant in my life every day. You show up, you give everything, if the redhead in the video sees this: you’ve told my story. And, I connect with you - with all of you - more than you know. There is hope every day. You just keep going.
There are a lot of misconceptions about drug use, thanks for raising awarness
Alicia Eberle it's because not a lot of us make it out. I'm 20yrs in. But these vids want to just have happy stories of ppl who used for a few years, then sorted their lives out. Not everyone gets out so easy. Abuse and other disgusting things are always issues that influence young kids when it comes to drug use. It's all so sad, I'm only just about trying to get out and I'm OLD! If you can see this, save yourselves. X
@@the7thwreck I am aware that a lot of people can't get out of their addiction and end up dying using. I feel like addicts get portayed a certain way in media and that's what I meant with my comment. I also saw your other comment and I'm really sorry you have to go through this and hope that one day you can get clean, even though it's gonna be really fucking hard
Alicia Eberle thank you sweetie x We will win the battle!
Its good that we don't know and fill our minds with lies so that it prevents us from doing it
@@the7thwreck May God give you strength and help you!
These women are so incredibly articulate and strong. Thank you for this video!
As a heroin addict of 3-4 years I really appreciate this video and all of their honesty.
Great video! Especially the lady in the white jacket. I could feel her words deep in my soul. To anyone suffering from addiction know this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can do this! You do NOT have to be addicted forever. You CAN become the person you want to be and take full control of your life! I've been free from heroin addiction for almost 15 years, after being in a living hell for more than a decade. It was not easy but it was so worth it. To anyone struggling I wish you only the best in your walk to recovery! You are not alone. Blessings.
Sawyer Congratulations!
Way to go!!!
All the best brother God bless.🙏
My dad works at a renewal center. After being exposed to these kinds of conversations I understand how hard it is and I accept people who struggle with addiction, even if I don't struggle with that myself. ❤
THIS. This is the truth of addiction right here : 07:20
and so if your just chasing the high then your not an addict- a recreational user having too much fun
You are so right! It is self medication, because we have never learned how to cope with our stressful thoughts and fears.
Totally true. In my case was depression and anxiety.
Withdrawal not entertainment. A real truth.
Being raised and surrounded by addicts all of my life, I have a lot of anger towards them. But hearing recovery stories is so healing for me. To see them come out the other side brings me to tears and brings me to the place of compassion I need to be. Thank you, ladies for being so strong and sharing your journey. 💙
Do not turn away from those you see struggle w mental health issues or drugs. The shame will have them escape from your life and there will be no remorse. Anything to escape the shame. Love and listening is the only way
I was always able to walk away after trying different drugs like marijuana and cocaine
When I hurt my back I was prescribed opiates
I could say I was never addicted because I never took more than I was suppose to take
But I found out when I ran out I had terrible withdrawals
Now that I have cancer in the bones I have plenty of pain medication but I’d trade it all away to have my health back
I’m amazed that all these young people are prescribed so many different pills
They all look so beautiful! Good for them getting sober and speaking up!
These are beautiful ladies who have defeated addiction ❤️ so proud of you! Inspirational ✨
3 years sober. relapsed once. to this day, i still sometimes miss the drug. the high. the lifestyle. but im determined not to make it back to “my” rock bottom. prison was it for me. either i go back to the streets, & eventually die. or spend my life in and out of bein locked up. one thing i will say... my heart wasnt gonna accept that fate. ive never been happier in my life. took 25 years. heartache, pain.. trials & tribulations. numbness. feeling too much. losses. gains. doubts. fears. but a will to never go back to feeling like “the walking dead”. my will to live is deeper than the drug. and thats what pushed , pushes me out and on track
congrats on your sobriety girl 💕 3 years is huge. i don’t think we will ever stop thinking about it…
“Shame and guilt is a miserable thing and it grabs on to you like a cloak”. Never has something I’ve heard rang so true. That feeling of a hangover when you are an alcoholic and hating yourself so much and everything you do that you have to drink again. The guilt is so painful. I feel that.
Ritalin increase libido and decrease your addiction to drugs and alcohol
Guilty and shame is about embarrassment
So proud to see literal proof that recovery is possible. I'm here looking for inspiration to do the same, thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. Personally I appreciate it so very much.
addiction is so present today in our society and i personally see it all the time. so proud of all of the people in this video, all of those in recovery, and everyone who’s fighting to get better. So glad this video was made 💕
Mariel's tattoos look BOMB- for real, this sleeve is beautiful and so well executed (love the color saturation)! Congratulations for such good content, it's important for these voices to be given a platform and heard. Much love and support to you all!
It’s not really a sleeve. None of it flows together and none of it looks great. Good on her for sobriety though
Trashy lady
Nice thick thighs too
I just lost a friend to an overdose. I loved this person so much. This gives me comfort in understanding my friend.
Thank you so much for this video and the strength and candidness of the women who told their stories and journeys.
Rih to my fiance Elijah Arrington. I miss more then anything. Just know losing someone to this opioid crisis will have you up at 3am, trying to cope with that love ones death. Lets win this fight. Stop using.
London Giovanni I’m so sorry that happened to you...hope you’re doing better
Sooji Kinikin thank you hon.
I’m so sorry for your loss. May Elijah rest in peace.
"The stigma is what kills people." (11:06)
There should be a "sigma" TIRED OF PPL MAKING EXCUSES!!!!!! Its not a disease !! They are hurting their family!!😡😡😡
fr
Felix Winkler So true
Well done to all of you on video who overcame everything and got your life’s back ! Very hard to come off drugs , so amazing to see anyone get well 👍🏻💕
When you overcome Addiction, no matter where and how it started you are a HERO in my opinion.
thank you
I’ll be your hero if you take Ritalin to stop doing drugs and alcohol
It hurts so much to hear their story, I am so happy to see them free finally.
I remember once I realized how opiates made me feel, the decision was made never be without them. It was a beautifully sick love affair. One that eventually abuses the user. The user is their sick state says the dope still loves me I'm just not loving it enough. I must rededicate my love for this substance. It's truly a love hate relationship that will eventually leave your life decimated.
We say "I don't wish the sickness (dopesick) on even my worst enemy"
No, I wish it on those up on their high horse that look down their nose at us
Some excellent perspectives here - really appreciate the speakers for helping to break the stigma and contributing to this vital dialogue. I had a cousin pass away from addiction and have a very dear friend who recently told me that he's struggling with addiction issues, so I feel very concerned and a sense of responsibility as a friend to be a part of his recovery. Obviously its such a sensitive topic for someone going through it and difficult as an outsider to know how to bring it up, but hearing about the 'shame cycle' really drives home the fact that 'tip toeing' around it can also play into the sense of stigma that someone has about it. *It's too serious not to take seriously.* Moving forward, I think it's important to acknowledge that drug addiction is something that we can all relate to - like any habit that distracts us from something we don't want in our lives or minds. Also, it seems that unrealistic expectations and stereotypes can overshadow the particulars of one's real life and confuse ones ability to process and accept one's problems as important problems. I think as friends and family to loved ones with addiction issues we can play a part in re-writing the expectations of what will or won't be accepted from them by accepting the drug habit (and the underlying triggers) as part of being a human - that because being human comes with opportunities as well as vulnerabilities, we are all vulnerable to traps such as addiction. And by taking these vulnerabilities seriously, we can help to establish an environment of realistic expectations in which value is given to any and every effort towards health and honesty.
Everyone talks about how they physically feel. My problem was more so how I mentally felt. The depression and hopelessness is absolutely unbearable. It's either kill myself or get pills. Those would be the only options in my head. It is torture
Lori g it is torture. Please talk to a doctor x
@@lisaballico its been like four years since I stopped opiates. I do go to therapy for anxiety and depression. It took a my brain to readjust itself. It was a horrible time. I did have physical effects for over a year but nothing compared to the emotional depression
Pain is pain. Your brain actually cant tell the difference between emotional and physical pain. They light up in the exact same way.
You are not alone
These woman are so brave. Thank you for your honesty. This is what we need. Clarity and eye-openning information. THANK YOU. Please keep making videos like this
As someone who has never been addicted to any drug, never even tried any hard drug, it is incredibly difficult for me to understand why anyone would even try these drugs let alone allow themselves to become addicted. I think the most important thing is to identify these things as evil and never give them power over yourself. I understand that people are in pain both physically and emotionally, but you must realize that these drugs are not a cure and will only cause you greater pain and misery in the long run
Like they started shooting heroin? Mine started smoking weed, then one vicodin every few weeks at a party. That's how it starts. Then as you realize you feel so much better, so much better adjusted to life, you take more over years. It's not a " i feel sad I'll do heroin and crack today" decision. It's not cut and dry
That's like asking someone with schizophrenia why they listen to the voices. "It's obviously not real why do you listen to them you'll know it's bad"
It’s obvious you’ve never been in so much pain you wished you were dead. 24/ 7 for 6 months before I could even get in to see a doctor in pain management. They are the only ones allowed in my state to prescribe them. I never even took Tylenol before I hurt my back. The relief came after I was finally prescribed lortab. Spinal fusion, a cadaver disc was my surgery. The sciatica pain so intense it was on fire inside my leg all day and night. Only with the pain meds am I able to function and hold a job. I have never tried to get that first high only want pain relief. So until you’ve experienced this type of pain you will never know why people take them.
They made stupid choices but the biggest takeaway is that you can Always get clean and sober
i lost my dad to to addiction 2 years ago when i was 13. In my generation, the social norm to “act like a crackhead” or party carelessly has taken ahold of me. My whole fathers side struggled and lost their lives with many addictions but seeing these woman fight not only for themselves, but the people surrounding them brings me so much joy.
She nailed it about the "rock bottom". Real rock bottom is death. 😓
I’m so happy about this people. I went through the same. You’re the only one that can change.
Truer words were never spoken, "It's going to take all of us to fight this."
@F Trakk You are an ignorant savage. This drug crisis was manufactured by the pharmaceutical companies for profits. Just because you were lucky enough not to have a surgical procedure during this time doesn't make you exempt. Eventually you will need pain killers and big pharma will be there to get you addicted. So laugh at yourself when you get there.
Wow. Great video. This is type of video I’ve been waiting to see. It’s important to hear recovered addicts describe to non-addicts what struggling addicts are facing. Thank you so much for creating this video. 🙏
Shame and guilt is the worse pain in the world.
To be vulnerable for a second, I have tried a lot of drugs (ecstasy, molly, cocaine, muchrooms) but I made a promise to myself that I would never try heroin or meth because of a movie I saw when I was younger called Requiem for a Dream. Tbh it kind of traumatized me, and I don't think it's a good movie for all 14 year olds to watch... but I think it was a good thing for me because I kept that in the back of my mind throughout the whole time I was going down the wrong path. Thankfully I haven't done any drugs for the past 3 years, except for a drink every now and then.
Happy that they’ve overcome their addictions. I’m sure it’s not easy.
My mom is a heavy strung out opioid addict ever since I was 6 years old
My hats off to these woman. An E.R. Doctor prescribed Ativan for anxiety. I took it for a month and I wanted off of it! I had become dependent on it. My Doctor said this will be the hardest thing you've ever done, I was very cocky and responded I've done hard things before! Omg! It took me 2 months to slowly ween off this medication. It was a nightmare. I have never experienced anxiety on that level before. Congratulations to anyone trying to quit. You can do it! The pain won't last forever. I had my Doctor put it on my charts that I'm allergic to Ativan, I never want to take that crap again. God Bless everyone in recovery, you guys are survivors and I'm proud of you.
Great video! I’m wondering how you found these women...do they speak about it professionally or did they respond to a craigslist post of sorts?
I’ve seen Miss Joy video of just her and about addiction and I loved her very cool to see her again!!! Hope everyone staying safe and staying strong
Growing up as a kid in the middle of the opioid “crisis” and all of that just looking in on the situation just makes me extremely scared to get addicted to drugs and all that which is a good thing but it makes me scared to even take something stronger than ibuprofen for a severe migraine because I’m too scared that I’m gonna get addicted lmao
Also, have you looked into any alternative options for dealing with your migraines? I've never had a migraine, but I've heard of a few different remedies for them.
I liked your blog. It is informative too, at the same time. Thanks a lot for your guidance!
Thanks for making this video. My family members have struggled with addiction and this was helpful for me to see.
New sub. Beautiful and life saving video. Thank you for normalizing my pain, each of these ladies is me.
You can get better, you can change, you just need that first step, then the second. Please get clean, people love you and dont want you hurting.
@@SolidMikeP 🥰 thank you, you are solid Mike. Made my day.
Woah 8 years old!! Why so young? What was going on in your life that at 8yrs old that you wanted to escape reality? I have two little girls one fixing to turn 8 in a couple of months the other turning 7 in 4 1/2 months and it's not even a blip on their radar to try and bend their reality. Blessings and Prayers to all in need.
Makes me grateful that prescription pain meds make me throw up. I hate 'em. Also, if you make a firm decision when you're young that you will never do illegal drugs, it's much easier to avoid trying them. I did that and it worked.
It’s interesting how for some of these people, by their appearance we can tell some of them probably tried stuffs, but others are surprises.
This may sound insane, but people that start off with heroin tend to have a shorter addiction duration than people who take pills first.
I'm a fentanyl addict in recovery btw, been through it
Wow...thank you for this.
29 days and got my first NA chip yesterday
Joy is my new personal hero. But all of you ladies are courageous and inspiring.
unlike meth and cocaine its definitely harder to see who a heroin addict is. through out my use nobody knew that i was addicted an that was when i turned to injecting. the moment i started to use meth was the moment everybody around me knew i was using. thats 100% facts
Sadly, this is nothing I dont already know. Full blown opioid addict here. Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, now here I am. Desperate and so sick.
my sister is addicted to opioids and has been addicted for a few years now, it’s extremely difficult trying to help her because she’s also bipolar
It’s so tiring. She’s tried getting clean but it was only for a week and she lied to our mom about being clean so she wouldn’t have to pay rent. She doesn’t pay rent she works as a CNA at a hospital, we all try to help her but she makes it so hard
sending you all light and love. stay strong
Such a valuable video.
please do a video of kids with drug addicted parents
When quitting you have to fill ur time with something positive for me its gym sitting around doing nothing will more then likely lead u to relapse stay strong
I don't think that there is a rock bottom either at least not for me. I am addicted to food and yeah there is always the posibility of doing it again and everytime abuse even worse.
I know growing up ,I was told not to do drugs. The commercial with the eggs saying your brain on drugs,I listen. If someone tells you something bad WHY WOULD YOU DO IT 🤔?
Exactly!
I'm thankful I never needed to escape reality so badly that I felt the need to make the choices some of these people made.
It doesn't always start with needing to nod off. Wanting to socialize and taking one vicodin was how it started for me. Then spent 7 years on heroin and crack
"I found out I could snort my Xanax and get a better high..." WRONG, Xanax works less efficently insuflated, it's one of the few drugs that do. Her emotions about that is purely emotional, it's ritualistic.
Opening statement is what I say all the time!
choosing life
Real talk recovery all welcome
I’ve been off opiates since May of 2015 and clean off Xanax since February of 2018
Beautiful women keep it up gals👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’m clean but I don’t know when I’ll stop craving :(
Lexi every day your clean it’ll get less and less. stay strong on the bad days and appreciate the good ones. sobriety is amazing i wish you luck
Myra Davis Thank you!💜
@@ticklemelexii I'm craving 24-7. It drives me insane. It's a constant battle, it's like one side of my brain is battling the other side. If you ever want to talk my email is vanderbiltkate(at)gmail(dot)com and I'll send you my social media
The one on the blue dress and the Tatoo sleeve looks like Phillipe DeFranco
christian lubin holy shit u right
She's hot
@April that doesnt mean she's not attractive?
thank you for this video, thank you.
I know the medications and the Heroin is the same. But the lifestyle isn't and they feel like two separate videos in my opinion. Despite how suicidal the withdrawals made me, I was absolutely resolute in avoiding heroin. After seeing how dependant pills made me, heroin never even became a second thought, despite how much cheaper and easier it is to come by. I don't know, maybe its different in America where pills are likely astronomically expensive.
The Lady in the blue dress and the blond one and absolutely beautiful , I would be proud to take them out to dinner or a movie anytime . May God bless and protect them all .
That will never happen. Get off the internet and go outside to meet women.
Big congrats to all of you.
If you are the leader of a illegal drug cartel, would hope
for more Americans to become addicted to legal opioids, the price of this legal
medication would soon become too expensive for daily maintenance, will soon be
forced to purchase the more cheaper street substances of which your livelihood depends,
have only to sit back and wait for the customers to come banging on your doors…Pharmaceutical
manufactures, prescribers, and dispensaries, all become top earners on the backs
of the addicted…and this is the sad part to report, law enforcement gains can
be included, infringing on civil liberties of us all…with massive search-and-seizure
invasion’s of our homes and privacy, and I would be remiss if another top earner
is not included, expensive drug rehabilitation centers…all providing a toxic undesirable
mix into our lives…
Edmund Singleton statement well said! Thank you
Sho.. The last words of the video hit hard.. Real deep
To say that the stigma is what kills people is going too far - it casts a personal problem as a societal problem, which it definitely is not. I know what people mean when they say things like that - I want to see society be more compassionate towards addicts, and to reach a hand out to them instead of judging them - but I refuse to blame society for the problems of addicts. That's a fine distinction, but it's important. The road out of addiction is paved with personal responsibility, and the road in is paved with the abandonment thereof.
Before you assume that I'm just some judgemental douche, re-read the above carefully and understand that I'm not speaking theoretically.
They should have been in the jubilee video talking about drug abusers and the family members of drug abusers
2:25 I thought I wasnt good with people just wanted to fit in. 😞👌🏼💛
Who are addicts? The kid next to you in highschool. Your doctor. Your college professor. Addiction doesnt care what you look like, how you were raised, your religion, or you! Say something to the people you love. It's no fun visiting your friends at a cemetery.
4 days clean :/ 13 years using.
May I ask how you are doing?
One year after and did it go. I am hope you are ok
At present, 400,000-500,000 Americans are estimated to have died of opioid overdoses since the turn of the millennium, then all opioid-related deaths such as accidents, suicide, hepatitis, etc. are added, while the number of deaths in covid 19 is estimated at 87,000.
It never ceases to amaze how nobody EVER points the finger at cartels or drug pushers on the street going out of their way to make people addicted. And the ones benefiting the most, even more so than pharma is drug cartels. 🤷🏻♀️
It's not like we'd ever be able to change it smh
This channel is too real sometimes.