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Most men will play a role in order to get what they want. There are some very good actors out there; you would think that they are actually into you. But keeping my legs closed has taught me otherwise. It has been my best physical defense against getting played and used. Your body is for your husband.
You will have rejected many partners before your choice. Think of all the “nice” guys who created no spark that you passed on. But then who did you chase - the guy you’re attracted to, already knowing he was probably no good. See, you incentivize men to be bad boys you like.
Men who only want " house dates" to " hang out" is a huge sign. Also, talking about themselves most of the time, not asking anything about you. Messaging you late at night after midnight asking what your up to. Telling you they are bored at home...
I second this. Had someone invite me over at like 11:30 because "he was hungry" and wanted to go get food somewhere that was open late. My gut told me that was not the real case since it was so late.
I feel like most men I talk to only want sex and it’s becoming super clear. It sucks. I am getting super discouraged by this. Pretty much when I set a boundary or standards I get ghosted. Some guys I really hit it off with and see a lot of potential but they don’t see me the same. I am trying my best to stay positive but decent men are hard to come by.
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Dates are pizza at your place. Men who are interested in courting you and getting to know you - want to be out in public, doing things with you, whether it’s going to a gallery opening or a chic new restaurant for a romantic dinner. Men who are only interested in sex don’t want to invest time or money in developing a relationship with you. Great content, LOVE it! ❤️🙏
Man who does not want sex has six abs and makes 7 figure and is ove 6' tall dark eyes dark hair wants to enjoy his time with me is a man I need as a real woman
I actually have a lot of respect for men who are straight up front and tell you they only want sex. At least they are honest and capable of an adult conversation and we part ways friendly. The ones who try to lie or play games to get sex are awful. I've had guys even say when we were at their house suddenly they need to leave for a crazy reason so I need to leave too! One said his daughter texted him she had a flat tire. Another said he was worried about his dog and needed to go to the Emergency Vet!!!! Lmao
A sign he only wants sex - as soon as he meets you, you'll be instantly "amazing", "beautiful", "wonderful", "unique", "like no one he's ever met before", etc. Which is different that just being excited about meeting someone who is really cool and attractive. They will go out of their way to make you feel beyond special right at the beginning and that the connection is just so amazing that it can't be ignored or tuned down.
He went to a friend of mine (at least I thought) and start talking to her. He told me that they have meaningful and deep conversations. That's where I dropped the mic and say never ever again to the both of them and closed the door for ever.
Women need to watch these kind of videos more than the " how to make him crazy about you" videos. You can learn so much more. Value yourself ladies. Your heart can lie ana make you think someone cares about you when they don't.
I saw the signs and married him anyway. He eventually left me, two weeks ago, literally because he felt he wasn't getting it enough. Two days a week, twice a month, was not enough and sometimes it was more frequent than that. The issue was me: I have Parkinson's, a fractured hip from being hit by a car and heavy menstrual cycles from the blood thinners I take. Sex is not always comfortable for me, but I always offered and was willing. It was a topic of discussion everyday. We were just married this past February. He knew, quite clearly, about my health. He assured me that he was in it for the long haul and could handle my condition. He bit off more than what he could chew. And left me, quit his job and moved out of state, leaving me to deal with all of our responsibilities. I pray for him because I believe he is not mentally well...I mean, we all are fighting something within...but, I forgive him. I don't want him back, and he keeps texting like he wants to come back but it's time I take care of me...and focus on what I need. Matt, you nailed all points 👏
Withholding sex won’t make a man want to date you long term if he’s not feeling you like that. He just wait patiently and leave after he gets it. Men do things like that
They will take things slow with you and be afraid they will mess things up. A relationship will progress until you have sex and then it will stop in terms of him wanting to go deeper. You have the power! Wait and don’t have sex or spend a whole lot of time with each other. If he really wants you, he will stick around. Yes you will go through a lot of guys, get rejected or you will reject them. You want a guy that really wants you right? You will get who you settle for....don’t settle! There WILL be a guy who will be nuts about you. He won’t be able to get you off his mind. He will not be able to avoid falling in love with you. If you have sex early, you are sabotaging your own chances of finding a great guy.
A thing that I learned that if a guy only wants to meet up in the evening hours to (for example) only watch movies at home and quickly becomes physical (kissing, spooning, ect) and he wants to do nothing else to build memories and emotional bond with you, it's a huge red flag he's only in for sexual advantages.
Past high school or college, you can’t be in each other’s rooms or in the home w/o him expecting sex. Netflix & Chill is never about watching movies ☝️
Most Women have good 6th sense. We all know how guys act differently when they want something more or just sex. The problem is ourselves. We are in a denial mode and we don’t want to accept the truth 😓😶🌫️😅
I was in a situation where he was very inconsistent and the relationship wasn’t naturally progressing. I asked him what he was looking for and listened. It wasn’t what I was hoping to hear and we respectfully parted ways.
I actually had a guy I met through a dating app. We just started talking and he started making jokes in regards to sex. I told him that I'm not that type of person and it was too soon to be talking or joking about stuff like that. Well his come back thought I was being crazy and he tried telling me he meant nothing by it. I just knew he was lying and I blocked him and stopped to talking to him. Because that is not the guy or relationship I want.
I dated a man with none of these signs. He answered the question “honestly” as wanting a committed relationship and wanted to marry me. He even waited a long time and dated and courted me, took time to get to know my family and friends. Jimmie Wayne was a pilot and MARRIED sharing life, home and bed with his wife. . 9 months later I discovered the truth,
1. He’ll put sexual phrases in his dating profile. 2. His texts get super sexual, super early. 3. He only sees you on his terms. 4. He always has a way of getting sexual. 5. The guy shuts down when you tell him “no”.
People lie. I have talked to many guys who will tell you they want more because they sense speaking the truth won’t get them time in the sack with me. I wish people were just honest.
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1) He will put sexual phrases in his dating profile 1:26 2) His texts are super sexual super early 2:15 3) He only meets you on his terms 3:46 4) It always gets sexual 4:29 5) He shuts down when you tell him no 5:22 6) He will tell you that he only wants sex 6:24
I ask this usually straight away before I even go on a date. Usually I end up having a guy lied to me in order to make me wait around for them. It’s kind of sad because not all guys are honest and upfront about what they actually want. Because they want to keep you waiting around until they get what they want so sometimes they will lie
i aked a guy we had a largely casual relationship with after about two years of messing around what he thought when we first met, his answer was that i "wanted to fuck youl". Asocke.
Lord you absolutely NAILED THIS. 4 month relationship long distance with a guy, he was quite a few of these, begging me to come visit him, always turning the conversation to sex, not interested in the deeper stuff with me, etc...I said you have my #, how about we have a real conversation first. He threw every excuse he could at me. I said I felt like our relationship was only about sex and I wasn't interested in only that and not to send me sexual messages anymore. I haven't heard from him since. He didn't even respond. 4 month relationship went full radio silence overnight. 😄 BYEEEEE.
I actually did ask guys pretty soon, what it was exactly what they wanted. It was often on the 3d date or so. And I actually did save myself a great amount of time. If he actually says that he wants a relationship, make him wait before zou jump with him into bed. If he has no time and patience, better set him free. If a guy is reallz interested in you, he will wait all the time you need him to.
Some guys will mirror my wishes and desires, even if it is not what they want. They try to manipulate me into believing they want a relationship, when in reality they are just trying to con me.
When they comment “oh you’re so pretty “ over and over instead of having substance in their compliments. Rarely complimenting character etc. Infatuation versus serious commitment. Shallow
Well...this video has confirmed my gut feeling about a guy I met online and had a first date with last week. Really good phone/text banter, regularly making sexual references (me saying probably but later, not now), holding my hand between his on the first date (weird), not asking anything about my work, hobbies etc but happy to talk superficially about himself....there will be no second date. Apparently I was very different to his imagined version of me. Not in appearance but I think he thought we had bonded over the phone. He might have done, I hadn't.
Be prepared to take it for what it is, if he says, "Well, I do like you, but I just recently ended things with my ex, so I'm not looking for anything serious right now." If he says anything like that, or similar, or the exact same thing, take it for what it is at face value. When a man doesn't want you for the long term, don't automatically assume he's just being shy and that this could change later on. It won't. When a man says, "Yes, I'd like something serious, but let's take it slow", take it for what it is. He wants you for a girlfriend, but wants you to take it slow with him. When a man says "no" to a serious commitment, and a serious commitment is what you desire, that's basically him saying, "I'm into you for my own sexual gratification, because your physique is all I want from you, and I don't want to date you." Walk away if that's not your thing. Steve Harvey says when a man wants you, for his forever girl, he will flat out tell you to your face, he'll be genuinely romantic, he will show with his actions how much he cares, his actions will speak as loud as his words. If he just wants to have a good time, he'll flat out tell you. It may not be direct, because some men wanna say it in a way that won't crush your ego. So, you gotta look deeper than his words. Believe a man when he says he doesn't want a relationship. Men know what the object of their affection is, and if it's not you, he'll tell you straight up. If you're not good enough in his mind to take you home to mom, but he's still willing to rumple the sheets with you, it's clear that's all it is to him, and nothing more. Don't look any harder into it.
Yep...if you ask him he will tell you but in a nicer way. I think we just doubt ourself and him too much. I think guys are simple...and if you tell him you want some thing more and actually stand your ground, he will move on to a different woman. It hurts but you will get over him. Plenty of better guys out there.
Needing time to get over an ex is actually a healthy flag. It means they had genuine feelings for them. However, you shouldn't pursue anything but building that relationship. You don't want to put yourself in that rebound position if he feels he needs a rebound to feel better.
Just because it may seem at times that people are quick to get married or have kids urgently, doesn’t mean you have to. People need to chuck that mindset. A philosophy I carry is do what makes you genuinely happy, not what you think will make you happy.
I just hope guys don't get women confused with men when we say that we're having fun and getting to know people. This is not about sex. It's about genuinely getting to know people for who they are.
Most of this is spot on, but there are men out there who pretend to want a relationship only to get sex. They too watch these videos and have their pulse on the right things to say and do to appear relationship minded.
When a man just want sex. Out front he will never tell you deeper about about himself, his family, friends and no matter how hard you ask, he just won't reveal that
I have respect for guys that put on their dating profiles they looking for sex at least you'll know not to waste your time. Asking a guy straight up what he wants doesn't work 90% of the time they can lie and pretend they looking for something serious and are good at misleading you. Love bombing in early stages, house dates, hotel dates, short and boring texts, bar dates, club dates, no calls just texting, late night meetups are red flags for me
Yup I had a guy lie to me about what he wanted in the beginning and he wait to tell me 4 months in after he knew I really liked him to say he doesn’t want a relationship and made excuses oh and he lied once again and said he never said what he said in the beginning I ended up leaving him alone and of course he tried coming back but I didn’t let that happen
Yeah bc look at how many of them are in these comment sections viewing the Playbook! They know what we’re going to say before we say it and they answer accordingly. But thanks, you actually listed all of the techniques in a row that a guy that’s trying to take me out is using. Immediately, I sensed red flags going off! The vid didn’t really address half of them, but you addressed All of them! My best defense is prayer... God can reveal things about a situation like nothing else can. I already knew what to do... AND your comment was just the icing on the cake😄!
Mat, I can,t thank you enough for this video. I am a 63 year old female who has been thru hell and back physically and mentally. I haven't been in any sexual relationship since 2017. Well, I met someone on a dating site who I was talking too for almost two months, mind you, I am a Virgo. The most sensitive sign of the Zodiac. Well, this guy was nice, but then did basically all the things you stated above. So basically I haven,t heard from him in almost a week. I am now in a deep depression 😔💔. I have major depression to begin with. I should have figured this out from his conversations. Asking for pictures, changing subjects, not making plans to meet. I know now I can,t let my guard down because of my heart, because the writing was on the wall. You cannot change someone. I will survive this too. But, your video was like a wake up call from God! Know, I know what to look for immediately and not put my heart first. Thank you Mat for listening to all this! God bless you and your family 👪🙏❤!
I love the way you suggested we ask a guy. When you suggested asking him, all I could think of was, "Yeah, I'm sure he'd be honest..." Your method would likely work, thank you!!
I experienced that. He only asks me out during his day offs and always want to go to check-in at the motel. When I asked what he wants, he said "stable relationship" but seems not that way. He never asks me questions about my life. During the 2nd time we see each other he asked me whether am I ready for him? Like, I said " ready for what"? I answered if it's just sex, please look for other girls. And that's the time he answered he wants relationship but his actions tells otherwise.
The man I was seeing for a little while was completely confusing. He was respectful, NEVER sexted, communicated (by text only) regularly, asked me to tell him when I was home safe, did all the gentleman things, and yet would not ever reserve time for me. He'd sneak time here and there for canoodling, but no dates, not even hanging out. I recently decided I was done with this because he was not valuing me at all, leaving me as a last priority. He's a good man, just not mine.
met this guy online on snapchat and we shared our photos (like a face reveal) it had just been two days and he sais he was madly in live with me and "wants" me and that he gets attached too easily ...he is from a different country so ge was trying s*xting .... I told him i am not comfortable with that so he just said that he's nof the one for me Am i wrong cuz i talked about it and he said that it's not all he wants but he does want it
I think it is also: makes no time for you, visits you at home, wants you to come to his home, not very interested in your daily life or personal interests, follows the topics that he likes... and in love-making quite selfish. Just throw him out! 😅
This is so insightful. I have never been in a relationship before and have never had sex. I recently started dating and met this guy I was pretty interested in. We had a great first date, but lately he keeps bringing up that sex is important to him because it's an intimate moment for both people to be vulnerable. I'm not comfortable with the idea, and had to set my boundaries with the guy and ultimately let him know I need someone who is okay with being patient with me and ease me into it. He says he's not just here for sex...and continues to reassure me of that when I ask, but sex for him is pretty up there and he feels that if we are not sexually compatible, we should stay friends. Anyway, I haven't 100% decided what I wanted to do. But he is willing to slow it down, and maybe start with cuddling first before anything else.
He is trying to USE you. Don't give yourself away like this. Who cares what he WANTS? You will find 99% of men want sex from almost any woman who agrees to give it to them. And what in all hell is Matt talking about? Ask them? Does he think they are going to tell you the truth? Lol. A huge number will tell you whatever they need to in order to convince you to spread your legs for them.
I can't relate today cause we only date in view of marriage and no sex before marriage. Suggestion: #1 can you do a video on how do you know that a man is showing their representative or their true self? #2 what should you do if you feel like your man is not in the same level of intellect (book smart or otherwise) as you?
Some will wait til marriage and after he's gotten what he want; then the marriage may last only a couple of years & they start cheating. You don't want that. To know, you must ask deeper questions.....Tony Gaskins, Dr. Myles Munroe & Dr. Creflo Dollar has amazing materials about "knowing the One!" Best wishes to finding the One......keep your heart until then! 🙏🏾💜
It's obvious when someone is your intellectual match. Even if he isn't, he may be a great guy and intelligent in other areas where you are not. He may be able to fix or build things, may be street smart and intuitive when there's an unsafe situation present or upcoming, he may be very good at taking care of you, a great parent for instance. Then there are serial killers that are extremely intelligent.
@@gloriajjackson5035 yes! So does Steve Harvey. There is no way to know 100% without doubt. You cannot trust someone explicitly up front. Trust needs to be earned. Never make excuses for poor treatment and lack of character.
Hi, Matt! I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all useful advices you are sharing with us. I've learned so much just from watching your videos and now I'm in a committed relationship for almost one year and we are getting married soon. You became a reason for all this happiness I feel right now. May God bless you and people you love! 😊 P.S. Thank you for teaching me how to love myself, so I was able to find someone who's willing to love me the way I need it to be.
A lot of what you said is correct sex is what keeps coming out in the conversation. They don't care about you, your health or finances just sex. They don't want to be in a committed relationship they just want the need of sex satisfied.
I unfortunately married a man like that, though he also sexually groomed me and pushed boundaries in my teens (I was 15 and he was 19) too...it's ending in divorce now.
Oh my gosh I am absolutely using that question on my long time friend who I have a serious crush on. He told me once before that he wished he was ready when things started to change a little for us and that was before I moved 4000 miles away. Now I’m moving back home and I’m going for it. I was too scared to tell him how I felt when I saw him 4 months ago but I have nothing to lose! We have only ever been friends. Thanks Mat!
@@MJ-ix1nh you may be right on this one. Thankfully we have never dated and are only friends so I can just keep him there. I’m 38 now, he’s almost 10 years older than me and I’m beginning to think he may just not want a relationship with anyone so it’s ok. No need to dump a man I’m not with. I will move on however. Thanks for the reply!
I told a guy i just wanted to be friends after he texted me asking when i was going to get in his pants? He never contacted me again. The signs were all there that he just wanted to have sex. Dates at his place, sexually charged texts, hardly ever talked about meaningful things. Good that over and done with but i thought he really like me because he did make me feel special in the begging.
Another sign is when he talks about his ex. I met someone in university, we were both at that time 21. His ex broke up with him a couple of months ago but he still hadn't moved on. After the date, I wrote to him and told him we were not a match, even though I liked him a lot. He ended up starting a relationship with another girl from the university some time after that. After they broke up, she confessed he would tell her how much in love he was with his ex and how they still kept in touch ... Thank God I was too insecure to date a guy who was talking about his ex.
@@wasiuokeyale8178 To be honest, I have no interest in him anymore. I am with someone who is not thinking about his ex and is a better match for me, on all levels. Thank you for "the advice" though, not a good one, but still, thank you.
I swear I met a guy...He always talks about his ex and how he feels sad ...And asked me to msg his ex even though she is married......Later calls me baby and darling without my permission and all of a sudden talks about what song he wants to play on his honeymoon night 😥😫
Love your videos Mat, however, don't agree with this idea that it's ok to be in "just wanting sex" phase! If you want sex, it comes as a package deal along with intimacy, kindness, compassion and RELATIONSHIP! The reason so many men and women find themselves in situations where they're depleted emotionally, and even depressed and suffering from mental health problems after being heart broken is purely down to the fact they've given themselves away to someone who wasn't deserving. You cannot detach your spiritual self from your physical self when engaging in sex. It's a spiritual act, so it's going to bond people and energies together, regardless of how much you convince yourself otherwise. Also, the more everyone engages in this just for fun, casual hookup culture, the cheaper and more meaningless the interaction, and the greater the emotional & physical cost for both men and women long term. Women don't value who they are as people nor what they have to offer and men don't respect women nor themselves or their ability to foster and grow a mature relationship by investing appropriately. Who loses? Everyone!
As a Born Again Christian, I couldn’t agree more!! You’re one of the few people who understands how serious soul ties are. People don’t understand how they’re tired together spiritually, chemically, and emotionally forever! That is how God intended it! Sex is only safe in the confines of marriage. That’s why this time around I’m not having sex until I am married!! Thank you for sharing! God bless!! 🤍
@@ZadeMeadowsLittleMouse Appreciate you sharing your perspective 🙏💕, and I agree entirely that marriage is a safe space to share all of yourself 💯. I think the media/culture has a lot to answer for as it has us duped into believing the more sexual partners, the more thrilling, exciting, fulfilled and happy our life. This couldn't be further from the truth. Also, this idea that if we've not thrown away or disposed of our virginity by a certain age, we're somehow flawed, faulty, unwanted and undesirable. This harmful and false belief likely drives a lot of young people to seek acceptance and validation outside of themselves instead of value themselves and their bodies as special and sacred. Yes, we all want to be desired and accepted but we need to first learn to love who we are fully before sharing ourselves with another. An employer would not give a new hire access to the building before conducting an intense vetting process and screening check. This is a safety measure. Yet for some reason we think it's perfectly acceptable to allow someone access to our physical / emotional / spiritual bodies with zero vetting, zero investment and zero commitment. We need to be cautious and discerning and guys need to QUALIFY for the role of partner. If they don't qualify, they don't get access.
@@FreePalestine123-b1x I feel that all relationship coaches should talk about the spiritual aspects that are connected to our bodies and energy field. There's no use only teaching the women how to pay attention to signs and red flags when there are not enough men who are aware of this. It's not going to work when there's not enough supply. I feel that the media and the rulers of the world intentionally promote the free yourself lifestyle so that all are not smart enough to know their ruling agendas. When one is clear in his/her energy field, it's bound for one to know the truth of many things. Just like when your energy field is clean and you walk into an environment that is filled with pollutions, you will know it's damaging your health. In my life, I have witnessed so many people that have been damaged emotionally because of the promotion of loose lifestyle. It pains me to see them cry and hurt like this.
@@felicityw30 Agreed, the less we connect to our authentic, higher selves the easier we are to manipulate, definitely! We are more than our physical bodies. I think there are many great coaches on TH-cam who do share great insights, but of course this idea that it's perfectly normal to be in different life stages and phases that requires sexual experimentation is detrimental to individuals and society. I understand we each have a different set of values and beliefs around sex which we must be true to, but when sexual "freedom" and sexual revolution is hailed a great triumph for women's rights I disagree wholeheartedly. Yes women can and should enjoy sex, but to diminish the value of both yourself and the sacred act isn't revolutionary. It's just upsetting.
My husband passed away 5 month ago, we're married fir 26yrs.. at first he said he doesn't want to married again because he fails his married before, but after 1 yrs he propose me
Sorry for your loss. How did you make him want to be your boyfriend? Did he ask you to sleep with you early on? I've met a recently divorced man who is not sure what he wants. He invited me only to his home. I told him that I don't want only sex and that I'm not too experienced and bit old-fashioned. He promised to go out, but we never did. Now, he does not reply to my text. I wrote that I would like to know if he is ok to join me for Yoga or dance. Shall I call him and ask why he did not reply?
Im facing the opposite problem. They want to get serious with me, and I dont seek for commitments at the moment. Have too much going on and enjoy the ability to control meeting to my expectations.
If his answer to “what is your most important need in a romantic relationship?” is “sex” - it’s honest AND it’s a clear message of where he’s at in that moment. Another place to believe him and consider if you are both looking for the same thing. This answer is present even after marriage. Marriage doesn’t mean you’re on the same page, unfortunately, I think especially in religious communities where sex before marriage is strongly discouraged.
How do I know he wants sex? He’s breathing!! Lol 😂 Seriously, just in texting before a date, guys have come right out and told me exactly what they want. I told them no, we haven’t even met yet. There’s no first date.
It's also a sign, when a random guys texting me on social media. (In general when I don't know him personally.) Didn't bother to introduce himself, only texting "Hi!" Or "Wanna hang out?"
Many of the things you said have more to do with a personality that isn’t ripe for any kind of connection. Sex in and of itself can be wonderful and connective even if it’s outside the definition of a classic relationship. So it’s about the person’s energy and personality that makes the difference here. Not so much sex or no sex. Feel the person and decide whether the energy is right for you - right from the get-go
Men (or man-boys as I prefer to call them) who are looking for casual hookups generally aren't ripe or deserving of any intimate connection imo. If all that dating apps and so-called sexually liberated women have created, is a nation of sex starved individuals who know nothing of emotionally mature relations, then society itself is pretty much f*cked! Sex is more than just a cheap and meaningless exchange between randy people looking to satisfy their urges!
This doesn't help me at all haha. I'm dating a guy and it's like 50/50. The problem is, the sex is so good that I understand why he wants it all the time cos I do a lot of the time too. That being said, I want a family someday and I'm afraid I'm wasting my time in this relationship as even though I'm enjoying it....I already feel I want more of his time. He meets me for non sexual dates and talks about non sexual stuff and he's said he's not just interested in sex and just wants to go with the flow. But then most of our conversations are sexual, I've never said no to sex with him cos I've never wanted to (in 7 months) ...but then on the other hand he really doesn't prioritise me. Like I can feel he will plan things with his friends above me, and just if he's tired or a bit sick he doesn't want to meet (and I offer to just go there and hang out) and it happens more often than I'm happy with. I feel he just wants a part time girlfriend or something....like nomad life...all the take with too little give. Men are so confusing 🙄
Seven months, lady it’s time to take a sex break, let him go cold Turkey. I wasted time on a guy having great sex, and believe me it’s time to ask him to commit!!!
Lauren......I agree with Jackie; keep your cookie for your husband. ....he is the one who deserves you and will bless you for honoring him for WAITING on your king who will treat you as his queen! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME !!! As a matter of fact, he is the one holding up your blessing because you are soul-tied to this guy & he is only using you for SEX. His actions speak louder than his words! God bless you as you wait upon Him to renew your strength & give you the peace you need to "walk away!" 🙏🏾🤗
Good video's Mat, thank you! As an older woman, I know that many men think that if the sex is good, the relationship will work out. In truth, sex can start out fantastic, but as life gets more complicated, there is a lot more to a good partner than sex. I was like that too......but learned in the long run that sex is a part of a relationship, but other things can break it up when life gets harder. SO I don't think sex should be the qualifier or what a relationship is based on, because over time, we all change. Men get so focused on the sex, that they ignore other qualities in a woman that are what make or break a successful union, marriage or relationship. IMHO. A sexy guy isn't always the best partner in the long run.
This was a conversation this morning with a guy my age (58) Him “Thought Saturday morning question , but you seem so strong willed. One curiosity I have is sleep attire… teddy, bra and panties or al natural “ My response “ one day you may be lucky enough to find out 😊 somethings are better to be shared in person “ His response “perfect response “
My home is my boundary. When I hear the right words and right phrases….. straight from the heart ( and I will know when it is) …… Then we can talk about pizza and a movie at my place. “My space” is my peace of mind. You can try and play with my head, but you can’t invade my peace of mind.🇯🇲 🇧🇿
There's this guy at work who I thought wanted to be friends, I flirted with him a little and now all he wants to do is sext. I don't want that. I just wanted a friend. Too bad. I guess now I have to shut him down. I've tried multiple times to have a normal convo, but it's become impossible.
I waited four years to date someone after ten years of dating same frame of mind guys. I decided once I wanted to date again I’m going to have boundaries and certain things mind that I’ll look for in man 1 who supports himself 2 maturity in his character 3 spiritual 4 he doesn’t mind children & family life 5 communication 6 be respectful to others women and men. I’m sure there’s room to grow as we navigate through our relationship. This man is amazing from the first date he’s made plans in the future even though we didn’t know it wasn’t going to move forward or not but it been fantastic between us we had our moments but we like to talk about what’s happening with us or we tell each other if we need time and he’s just been on board , and it makes me respect him as a man, who he is.🙏
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Great video! Been watching a few of yours lately but this one struck a chord with me. I m on dating apps and always get those guys who just want sex but never figured out how the best way was to respond … until now from this video! Thanks Matt!
Loooool signs that he is interested in sex - looking for women who are dtf- that's not a sign, it's clear communication, no need to watch a 10 mins video to decipher that code!
I connected with this guy on a dating site. From the get-go, he said that although he was looking for an LTR, he claimed that sexual chemistry was extremely important in a relationship and so he wanted to check that out with me first. He asked to “play” every night on Facetime. I didn’t do it, was against my grain.
Same happened to me, but the guy actually lives 20 kms away. He was nice and polite for a week,said he was looking for something serious,communication was good and consistent, we set up a date to meet for coffee at weekend. 3 days before the date, he starts asking me sexual stuff and when I reply that I don't discuss such stuff this early, he says...let me send you a photo of my "goodies" so you get a preview before our date! I cancelled the date immediately and he was very, very butthurt about it. His argument was "I just wanted you to be sure I am worth your time"(duh).
I've been seeing a doctor and the convo always turns back to sex, begging for pics, etc. Some men are clever at turning the topic back around to sex everytime
some men lie...One guy I dated said he wanted a whole relationship with sex included. but in the end he only wanted sex. another guy wanted to test drive my body like you test drive a car. He said he wanted a whole relationship but in the end he wanted sex and if it was any good then he wanted me. he told me that after he said he was separated from his wife for 21 years and never got a divorce. I never knew any of this. Why can't people just be honest as it isn't that hard to do. I am no body's fwb or bootie call. I want a whole relationship with sex included.
You are correct. They will say whatever gets them what they want, and they put on a good face to impress you. It takes time to get them to let the mask down, and see who they really are. They are hunters and see you as a 'goal' to achieve what they want, and often play a part that they think will impress you. It takes time, so no hurry, just be aware of their tendency to want to impress you to get what they want. Sorry for this sad news....
@@sarahkittelson622 I found out that not all men are like that. My almost 4 month boyfriend is nothing like that...Jesus brought him to me and we are so very blessed
Having them wait for long to know if he really loves you then after getting what they want and leave. I'm scared of the word I love you. Because it might comes from the mouth that doesn't mean it.
I recon men hunting for sex first of all go for what they desire the most, when there is no chance in sight, they go for the easier ones. The ones that physically don’t move away when heading over to them. Its good to “wear” the attitude of self esteem and confidence level you want to attract. The worst gives up easy and you have the bests to choose from when you show your mental standard and top it with a kind and self respecting elegant style. Looking forward to try the number 6 :) thank you!
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Yes some Men are pigs an lyers I'm fifty eight years old I give up but I enjoy my own company I'm never.sad most peopley age are divorce hang in there and god bless you I hope you get some one good. From Diane
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Most men will play a role in order to get what they want. There are some very good actors out there; you would think that they are actually into you. But keeping my legs closed has taught me otherwise. It has been my best physical defense against getting played and used. Your body is for your husband.
You are so right sadly this happened to me at 18 I was so mad smh
Careful many rapists out there
The best thing I've learned in my life, keep them closed until marriage. Blessings
Absolutely!
You will have rejected many partners before your choice. Think of all the “nice” guys who created no spark that you passed on. But then who did you chase - the guy you’re attracted to, already knowing he was probably no good. See, you incentivize men to be bad boys you like.
Men who only want " house dates" to " hang out" is a huge sign. Also, talking about themselves most of the time, not asking anything about you. Messaging you late at night after midnight asking what your up to. Telling you they are bored at home...
True
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I second this. Had someone invite me over at like 11:30 because "he was hungry" and wanted to go get food somewhere that was open late. My gut told me that was not the real case since it was so late.
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he only wants his way and does not ask anything about you. He is not interested in you, he is interested in what he can get from you.
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I feel like most men I talk to only want sex and it’s becoming super clear. It sucks. I am getting super discouraged by this. Pretty much when I set a boundary or standards I get ghosted. Some guys I really hit it off with and see a lot of potential but they don’t see me the same. I am trying my best to stay positive but decent men are hard to come by.
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Don't get discouraged my friend. Be strong an stay committed to your convictions. I'm right with you. 🙏
Better to get ghosted than to get hurt. Some boundaries are deal-breakers.
Dates are pizza at your place. Men who are interested in courting you and getting to know you - want to be out in public, doing things with you, whether it’s going to a gallery opening or a chic new restaurant for a romantic dinner. Men who are only interested in sex don’t want to invest time or money in developing a relationship with you. Great content, LOVE it! ❤️🙏
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These men do not exist!!!
Man who does not want sex
has six abs and makes 7 figure
and is ove 6' tall dark eyes dark hair wants to enjoy his time with me
is a man I need as a real woman
@@geoeconomics5629 totally agree!
I actually have a lot of respect for men who are straight up front and tell you they only want sex. At least they are honest and capable of an adult conversation and we part ways friendly. The ones who try to lie or play games to get sex are awful. I've had guys even say when we were at their house suddenly they need to leave for a crazy reason so I need to leave too! One said his daughter texted him she had a flat tire. Another said he was worried about his dog and needed to go to the Emergency Vet!!!! Lmao
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Glad someone appreciates honesty.
A sign he only wants sex - as soon as he meets you, you'll be instantly "amazing", "beautiful", "wonderful", "unique", "like no one he's ever met before", etc. Which is different that just being excited about meeting someone who is really cool and attractive. They will go out of their way to make you feel beyond special right at the beginning and that the connection is just so amazing that it can't be ignored or tuned down.
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He went to a friend of mine (at least I thought) and start talking to her. He told me that they have meaningful and deep conversations. That's where I dropped the mic and say never ever again to the both of them and closed the door for ever.
Women need to watch these kind of videos more than the " how to make him crazy about you" videos. You can learn so much more. Value yourself ladies. Your heart can lie ana make you think someone cares about you when they don't.
I assume he’s using me so don’t hold my breath.
I have read somewhere that most people will forget what you did, but people never forget how you made them feel.
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I saw the signs and married him anyway. He eventually left me, two weeks ago, literally because he felt he wasn't getting it enough. Two days a week, twice a month, was not enough and sometimes it was more frequent than that. The issue was me: I have Parkinson's, a fractured hip from being hit by a car and heavy menstrual cycles from the blood thinners I take. Sex is not always comfortable for me, but I always offered and was willing. It was a topic of discussion everyday. We were just married this past February. He knew, quite clearly, about my health. He assured me that he was in it for the long haul and could handle my condition. He bit off more than what he could chew. And left me, quit his job and moved out of state, leaving me to deal with all of our responsibilities. I pray for him because I believe he is not mentally well...I mean, we all are fighting something within...but, I forgive him. I don't want him back, and he keeps texting like he wants to come back but it's time I take care of me...and focus on what I need. Matt, you nailed all points 👏
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Yes, you are number 1
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Sending you love dear.. you’ll go through it effortlessly
Withholding sex won’t make a man want to date you long term if he’s not feeling you like that.
He just wait patiently and leave after he gets it.
Men do things like that
That's so scary. I am dating someone and withholding sex cause I like him
Well, how to avoid a guy like that? How do we know that guy only wants us for sex when he clearly he was doin' the Mr. right things..?
I saw a man across a room .. we had sex that night,the night after and for the next 14years. It was just meant to be.😊
They will take things slow with you and be afraid they will mess things up.
A relationship will progress until you have sex and then it will stop in terms of him wanting to go deeper. You have the power!
Wait and don’t have sex or spend a whole lot of time with each other. If he really wants you, he will stick around. Yes you will go through a lot of guys, get rejected or you will reject them. You want a guy that really wants you right? You will get who you settle for....don’t settle! There WILL be a guy who will be nuts about you. He won’t be able to get you off his mind. He will not be able to avoid falling in love with you.
If you have sex early, you are sabotaging your own chances of finding a great guy.
A thing that I learned that if a guy only wants to meet up in the evening hours to (for example) only watch movies at home and quickly becomes physical (kissing, spooning, ect) and he wants to do nothing else to build memories and emotional bond with you, it's a huge red flag he's only in for sexual advantages.
Past high school or college, you can’t be in each other’s rooms or in the home w/o him expecting sex. Netflix & Chill is never about watching movies ☝️
I wish I knew this sooner❤😢
No talk of future either and not using terms like us instead of I
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Most true comment ever
I was in a situation where he was very inconsistent and the relationship wasn’t naturally progressing. I asked him what he was looking for and listened. It wasn’t what I was hoping to hear and we respectfully parted ways.
I actually had a guy I met through a dating app. We just started talking and he started making jokes in regards to sex. I told him that I'm not that type of person and it was too soon to be talking or joking about stuff like that. Well his come back thought I was being crazy and he tried telling me he meant nothing by it. I just knew he was lying and I blocked him and stopped to talking to him. Because that is not the guy or relationship I want.
whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......
Good for you girl! Stand firm as I do an God will bless you with the right one!
Kate......Amen, you let him go because "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks!" 🙏🏾🤗
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Someone you don't even know, it's not appropriate. Nice job handling it.
I dated a man with none of these signs. He answered the question “honestly” as wanting a committed relationship and wanted to marry me. He even waited a long time and dated and courted me, took time to get to know my family and friends.
Jimmie Wayne was a pilot and MARRIED sharing life, home and bed with his wife. . 9 months later I discovered the truth,
Yep
Did you guys get married officially? If yes then there should be a record of him as a married man already
1. He’ll put sexual phrases in his dating profile.
2. His texts get super sexual, super early.
3. He only sees you on his terms.
4. He always has a way of getting sexual.
5. The guy shuts down when you tell him “no”.
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So you kick him to the kerb.
This is even true on chats
No. 5 is so true
People lie. I have talked to many guys who will tell you they want more because they sense speaking the truth won’t get them time in the sack with me. I wish people were just honest.
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you are right. i spend 5 years with a guy who was just playing games.
If guys didn't lie, they wouldn't get any sex.
1) He will put sexual phrases in his dating profile 1:26
2) His texts are super sexual super early 2:15
3) He only meets you on his terms 3:46
4) It always gets sexual 4:29
5) He shuts down when you tell him no 5:22
6) He will tell you that he only wants sex 6:24
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this is my last relationships
Not all men put those things in their profile. Real players also put regular phrases like " long term relationship and claim to be family oriented.
Yes!
My player ex pretended he was in love and wanted marriage. Great actor but I knew something was off.
Most useful statement
Yesssss. The bad boys are soo good at it! Yep! Truths
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Another sign: he doesn't want to be seen with you in public or in the daytime...
So true.
I ask this usually straight away before I even go on a date. Usually I end up having a guy lied to me in order to make me wait around for them. It’s kind of sad because not all guys are honest and upfront about what they actually want. Because they want to keep you waiting around until they get what they want so sometimes they will lie
Trust actions not words. And always your intiution.
i aked a guy we had a largely casual relationship with after about two years of messing around what he thought when we first met, his answer was that i "wanted to fuck youl". Asocke.
Lord you absolutely NAILED THIS. 4 month relationship long distance with a guy, he was quite a few of these, begging me to come visit him, always turning the conversation to sex, not interested in the deeper stuff with me, etc...I said you have my #, how about we have a real conversation first. He threw every excuse he could at me. I said I felt like our relationship was only about sex and I wasn't interested in only that and not to send me sexual messages anymore. I haven't heard from him since. He didn't even respond. 4 month relationship went full radio silence overnight. 😄 BYEEEEE.
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I actually did ask guys pretty soon, what it was exactly what they wanted. It was often on the 3d date or so. And I actually did save myself a great amount of time. If he actually says that he wants a relationship, make him wait before zou jump with him into bed. If he has no time and patience, better set him free. If a guy is reallz interested in you, he will wait all the time you need him to.
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@@hamisubala1384 No, thanks. I do not need your advice.
Exactly!..
Sounds like really good advice
Some guys will mirror my wishes and desires, even if it is not what they want. They try to manipulate me into believing they want a relationship, when in reality they are just trying to con me.
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When they comment “oh you’re so pretty “ over and over instead of having substance in their compliments. Rarely complimenting character etc. Infatuation versus serious commitment. Shallow
Well...this video has confirmed my gut feeling about a guy I met online and had a first date with last week. Really good phone/text banter, regularly making sexual references (me saying probably but later, not now), holding my hand between his on the first date (weird), not asking anything about my work, hobbies etc but happy to talk superficially about himself....there will be no second date.
Apparently I was very different to his imagined version of me. Not in appearance but I think he thought we had bonded over the phone. He might have done, I hadn't.
I was in a committed relationship and I wish I had the ' magic wand' question to ask back then. Would have saved me a lot of heartbreak! 😞
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Be prepared to take it for what it is, if he says, "Well, I do like you, but I just recently ended things with my ex, so I'm not looking for anything serious right now." If he says anything like that, or similar, or the exact same thing, take it for what it is at face value. When a man doesn't want you for the long term, don't automatically assume he's just being shy and that this could change later on. It won't. When a man says, "Yes, I'd like something serious, but let's take it slow", take it for what it is. He wants you for a girlfriend, but wants you to take it slow with him. When a man says "no" to a serious commitment, and a serious commitment is what you desire, that's basically him saying, "I'm into you for my own sexual gratification, because your physique is all I want from you, and I don't want to date you." Walk away if that's not your thing. Steve Harvey says when a man wants you, for his forever girl, he will flat out tell you to your face, he'll be genuinely romantic, he will show with his actions how much he cares, his actions will speak as loud as his words. If he just wants to have a good time, he'll flat out tell you. It may not be direct, because some men wanna say it in a way that won't crush your ego. So, you gotta look deeper than his words. Believe a man when he says he doesn't want a relationship. Men know what the object of their affection is, and if it's not you, he'll tell you straight up. If you're not good enough in his mind to take you home to mom, but he's still willing to rumple the sheets with you, it's clear that's all it is to him, and nothing more. Don't look any harder into it.
You nailed it.
Amen girl!!
Yep...if you ask him he will tell you but in a nicer way. I think we just doubt ourself and him too much. I think guys are simple...and if you tell him you want some thing more and actually stand your ground, he will move on to a different woman. It hurts but you will get over him. Plenty of better guys out there.
Needing time to get over an ex is actually a healthy flag. It means they had genuine feelings for them. However, you shouldn't pursue anything but building that relationship. You don't want to put yourself in that rebound position if he feels he needs a rebound to feel better.
Be aware, listen, observe, dont cheat yourself with your own illusions 😄
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Just because it may seem at times that people are quick to get married or have kids urgently, doesn’t mean you have to. People need to chuck that mindset. A philosophy I carry is do what makes you genuinely happy, not what you think will make you happy.
I just hope guys don't get women confused with men when we say that we're having fun and getting to know people. This is not about sex. It's about genuinely getting to know people for who they are.
spot on. men dont understand that for us getting to know is to get to know the person and not about sex...
Most of this is spot on, but there are men out there who pretend to want a relationship only to get sex. They too watch these videos and have their pulse on the right things to say and do to appear relationship minded.
You are right!
When a man just want sex. Out front he will never tell you deeper about about himself, his family, friends and no matter how hard you ask, he just won't reveal that
I have respect for guys that put on their dating profiles they looking for sex at least you'll know not to waste your time. Asking a guy straight up what he wants doesn't work 90% of the time they can lie and pretend they looking for something serious and are good at misleading you. Love bombing in early stages, house dates, hotel dates, short and boring texts, bar dates, club dates, no calls just texting, late night meetups are red flags for me
Yup I had a guy lie to me about what he wanted in the beginning and he wait to tell me 4 months in after he knew I really liked him to say he doesn’t want a relationship and made excuses oh and he lied once again and said he never said what he said in the beginning I ended up leaving him alone and of course he tried coming back but I didn’t let that happen
Yeah bc look at how many of them are in these comment sections viewing the Playbook! They know what we’re going to say before we say it and they answer accordingly.
But thanks, you actually listed all of the techniques in a row that a guy that’s trying to take me out is using. Immediately, I sensed red flags going off! The vid didn’t really address half of them, but you addressed All of them!
My best defense is prayer... God can reveal things about a situation like nothing else can. I already knew what to do... AND your comment was just the icing on the cake😄!
Yup. All he said he needed was me, to be anything that I need him to be. His own words. To drive away without any more text nor call all for his lie.
Mat, I can,t thank you enough for this video. I am a 63 year old female who has been thru hell and back physically and mentally. I haven't been in any sexual relationship since 2017. Well, I met someone on a dating site who I was talking too for almost two months, mind you, I am a Virgo. The most sensitive sign of the Zodiac. Well, this guy was nice, but then did basically all the things you stated above. So basically I haven,t heard from him in almost a week. I am now in a deep depression 😔💔. I have major depression to begin with. I should have figured this out from his conversations. Asking for pictures, changing subjects, not making plans to meet. I know now I can,t let my guard down because of my heart, because the writing was on the wall. You cannot change someone. I will survive this too. But, your video was like a wake up call from God! Know, I know what to look for immediately and not put my heart first. Thank you Mat for listening to all this! God bless you and your family 👪🙏❤!
I hope your heart It okay now 🥺❤️
Did you find someone?
@@MaryTheresa1986 I will be 65 years old in August and still alone.
I love the way you suggested we ask a guy. When you suggested asking him, all I could think of was, "Yeah, I'm sure he'd be honest..." Your method would likely work, thank you!!
I experienced that. He only asks me out during his day offs and always want to go to check-in at the motel. When I asked what he wants, he said "stable relationship" but seems not that way. He never asks me questions about my life. During the 2nd time we see each other he asked me whether am I ready for him? Like, I said " ready for what"? I answered if it's just sex, please look for other girls. And that's the time he answered he wants relationship but his actions tells otherwise.
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Exactly my story sis
Omg! What a great question. It's asked in a fun , light feminine way. Love it!
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I did ask that magic wand question and yes I found out. Suffice to say it definitely saved me a lot of time :)
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The man I was seeing for a little while was completely confusing. He was respectful, NEVER sexted, communicated (by text only) regularly, asked me to tell him when I was home safe, did all the gentleman things, and yet would not ever reserve time for me. He'd sneak time here and there for canoodling, but no dates, not even hanging out. I recently decided I was done with this because he was not valuing me at all, leaving me as a last priority. He's a good man, just not mine.
You are right. This guy is probably married. Next!
met this guy online on snapchat and we shared our photos (like a face reveal) it had just been two days and he sais he was madly in live with me and "wants" me and that he gets attached too easily ...he is from a different country so ge was trying s*xting .... I told him i am not comfortable with that so he just said that he's nof the one for me
Am i wrong cuz i talked about it and he said that it's not all he wants but he does want it
Yeah, not so sure about the 'good man' part..maybe he was married?
Wow! Thanks coach. I had dated a guy many years ago thinking he loved me, but later I came to understand he only wanted sex.
I think it is also: makes no time for you, visits you at home, wants you to come to his home, not very interested in your daily life or personal interests, follows the topics that he likes... and in love-making quite selfish. Just throw him out! 😅
100% this was my ex. Boy, have I learned a lot!!
This is so insightful. I have never been in a relationship before and have never had sex. I recently started dating and met this guy I was pretty interested in. We had a great first date, but lately he keeps bringing up that sex is important to him because it's an intimate moment for both people to be vulnerable. I'm not comfortable with the idea, and had to set my boundaries with the guy and ultimately let him know I need someone who is okay with being patient with me and ease me into it. He says he's not just here for sex...and continues to reassure me of that when I ask, but sex for him is pretty up there and he feels that if we are not sexually compatible, we should stay friends. Anyway, I haven't 100% decided what I wanted to do. But he is willing to slow it down, and maybe start with cuddling first before anything else.
He is trying to USE you. Don't give yourself away like this. Who cares what he WANTS? You will find 99% of men want sex from almost any woman who agrees to give it to them. And what in all hell is Matt talking about? Ask them? Does he think they are going to tell you the truth? Lol. A huge number will tell you whatever they need to in order to convince you to spread your legs for them.
I can't relate today cause we only date in view of marriage and no sex before marriage.
Suggestion:
#1 can you do a video on how do you know that a man is showing their representative or their true self?
#2 what should you do if you feel like your man is not in the same level of intellect (book smart or otherwise) as you?
Some will wait til marriage and after he's gotten what he want; then the marriage may last only a couple of years & they start cheating. You don't want that. To know, you must ask deeper questions.....Tony Gaskins, Dr. Myles Munroe & Dr. Creflo Dollar has amazing materials about "knowing the One!" Best wishes to finding the One......keep your heart until then! 🙏🏾💜
It's obvious when someone is your intellectual match. Even if he isn't, he may be a great guy and intelligent in other areas where you are not. He may be able to fix or build things, may be street smart and intuitive when there's an unsafe situation present or upcoming, he may be very good at taking care of you, a great parent for instance. Then there are serial killers that are extremely intelligent.
If you aren't certain he's being authentic, trust your instincts and walk away.
@@gloriajjackson5035 yes! So does Steve Harvey. There is no way to know 100% without doubt. You cannot trust someone explicitly up front. Trust needs to be earned. Never make excuses for poor treatment and lack of character.
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Hi, Matt!
I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all useful advices you are sharing with us. I've learned so much just from watching your videos and now I'm in a committed relationship for almost one year and we are getting married soon. You became a reason for all this happiness I feel right now. May God bless you and people you love! 😊
P.S. Thank you for teaching me how to love myself, so I was able to find someone who's willing to love me the way I need it to be.
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Like you have already said....distance themselves...which is the best thing that can happen
Every young woman should learn this about guys. Ty. Ain't nothing like the real thing baby.
My ex shuts down when I used to say no and he always used to goes talk about intimacy all the time.. I noticed this one.
I talked to a guy i met on a dating app and he always brought the conversation to sex. I cut him off. It was uncomfortable.
I have fallen victim less than a week and I can’t get over beating my self up
I asked and he kept denying it then finally admitted it, and I asked from day one. Saved a ton of time.
Crying watching this because I really loved him and he just used me and threw me away again… I fell for the lie again!
This video helps you to have more Self Love. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for this info. As a women we all knows what man likes but everyone of us has bad experience. Learn from own mistakes.
@Celderic Clinton 😊👍
A lot of what you said is correct sex is what keeps coming out in the conversation. They don't care about you, your health or finances just sex. They don't want to be in a committed relationship they just want the need of sex satisfied.
Matt you come from such a loving space and i truely love your approach ❤
I unfortunately married a man like that, though he also sexually groomed me and pushed boundaries in my teens (I was 15 and he was 19) too...it's ending in divorce now.
Oh my gosh I am absolutely using that question on my long time friend who I have a serious crush on. He told me once before that he wished he was ready when things started to change a little for us and that was before I moved 4000 miles away. Now I’m moving back home and I’m going for it. I was too scared to tell him how I felt when I saw him 4 months ago but I have nothing to lose! We have only ever been friends. Thanks Mat!
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Dump him. "Long term friend" ... Yeah he would have stepped up by now. You're wasting our time.
@@MJ-ix1nh you may be right on this one. Thankfully we have never dated and are only friends so I can just keep him there. I’m 38 now, he’s almost 10 years older than me and I’m beginning to think he may just not want a relationship with anyone so it’s ok. No need to dump a man I’m not with. I will move on however. Thanks for the reply!
I told a guy i just wanted to be friends after he texted me asking when i was going to get in his pants? He never contacted me again. The signs were all there that he just wanted to have sex. Dates at his place, sexually charged texts, hardly ever talked about meaningful things. Good that over and done with but i thought he really like me because he did make me feel special in the begging.
Thanks a lot for taking your time to share this.
Where were the people that gave advise like this when I needed it in my twenties...
Another sign is when he talks about his ex. I met someone in university, we were both at that time 21. His ex broke up with him a couple of months ago but he still hadn't moved on. After the date, I wrote to him and told him we were not a match, even though I liked him a lot. He ended up starting a relationship with another girl from the university some time after that. After they broke up, she confessed he would tell her how much in love he was with his ex and how they still kept in touch ... Thank God I was too insecure to date a guy who was talking about his ex.
they are the worst, my ex was like that for at least 2 years, what a waste of time
@@huntingfashiondolls3307 I can feel you sister! However, he is an ex, which means you are free for someone else :)
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@@wasiuokeyale8178 To be honest, I have no interest in him anymore. I am with someone who is not thinking about his ex and is a better match for me, on all levels. Thank you for "the advice" though, not a good one, but still, thank you.
I swear I met a guy...He always talks about his ex and how he feels sad ...And asked me to msg his ex even though she is married......Later calls me baby and darling without my permission and all of a sudden talks about what song he wants to play on his honeymoon night 😥😫
Really knew all these signs especially when you talking about sending pics,I really just blocked them when they asking for pics,period.
This is all great advice. I like a man who tells the truth. I have met lots of bad guys.
I asked after one year and 3 months and my fears get really real.
Love your videos Mat, however, don't agree with this idea that it's ok to be in "just wanting sex" phase! If you want sex, it comes as a package deal along with intimacy, kindness, compassion and RELATIONSHIP! The reason so many men and women find themselves in situations where they're depleted emotionally, and even depressed and suffering from mental health problems after being heart broken is purely down to the fact they've given themselves away to someone who wasn't deserving. You cannot detach your spiritual self from your physical self when engaging in sex. It's a spiritual act, so it's going to bond people and energies together, regardless of how much you convince yourself otherwise.
Also, the more everyone engages in this just for fun, casual hookup culture, the cheaper and more meaningless the interaction, and the greater the emotional & physical cost for both men and women long term. Women don't value who they are as people nor what they have to offer and men don't respect women nor themselves or their ability to foster and grow a mature relationship by investing appropriately. Who loses? Everyone!
Very well-said. I can't agree more.
As a Born Again Christian, I couldn’t agree more!! You’re one of the few people who understands how serious soul ties are. People don’t understand how they’re tired together spiritually, chemically, and emotionally forever! That is how God intended it! Sex is only safe in the confines of marriage. That’s why this time around I’m not having sex until I am married!! Thank you for sharing! God bless!! 🤍
@@ZadeMeadowsLittleMouse Appreciate you sharing your perspective 🙏💕, and I agree entirely that marriage is a safe space to share all of yourself 💯.
I think the media/culture has a lot to answer for as it has us duped into believing the more sexual partners, the more thrilling, exciting, fulfilled and happy our life. This couldn't be further from the truth. Also, this idea that if we've not thrown away or disposed of our virginity by a certain age, we're somehow flawed, faulty, unwanted and undesirable. This harmful and false belief likely drives a lot of young people to seek acceptance and validation outside of themselves instead of value themselves and their bodies as special and sacred. Yes, we all want to be desired and accepted but we need to first learn to love who we are fully before sharing ourselves with another.
An employer would not give a new hire access to the building before conducting an intense vetting process and screening check. This is a safety measure. Yet for some reason we think it's perfectly acceptable to allow someone access to our physical / emotional / spiritual bodies with zero vetting, zero investment and zero commitment. We need to be cautious and discerning and guys need to QUALIFY for the role of partner. If they don't qualify, they don't get access.
@@FreePalestine123-b1x I feel that all relationship coaches should talk about the spiritual aspects that are connected to our bodies and energy field. There's no use only teaching the women how to pay attention to signs and red flags when there are not enough men who are aware of this. It's not going to work when there's not enough supply. I feel that the media and the rulers of the world intentionally promote the free yourself lifestyle so that all are not smart enough to know their ruling agendas. When one is clear in his/her energy field, it's bound for one to know the truth of many things. Just like when your energy field is clean and you walk into an environment that is filled with pollutions, you will know it's damaging your health. In my life, I have witnessed so many people that have been damaged emotionally because of the promotion of loose lifestyle. It pains me to see them cry and hurt like this.
@@felicityw30 Agreed, the less we connect to our authentic, higher selves the easier we are to manipulate, definitely! We are more than our physical bodies. I think there are many great coaches on TH-cam who do share great insights, but of course this idea that it's perfectly normal to be in different life stages and phases that requires sexual experimentation is detrimental to individuals and society. I understand we each have a different set of values and beliefs around sex which we must be true to, but when sexual "freedom" and sexual revolution is hailed a great triumph for women's rights I disagree wholeheartedly. Yes women can and should enjoy sex, but to diminish the value of both yourself and the sacred act isn't revolutionary. It's just upsetting.
My husband passed away 5 month ago, we're married fir 26yrs.. at first he said he doesn't want to married again because he fails his married before, but after 1 yrs he propose me
Sorry for your loss. How did you make him want to be your boyfriend? Did he ask you to sleep with you early on? I've met a recently divorced man who is not sure what he wants. He invited me only to his home. I told him that I don't want only sex and that I'm not too experienced and bit old-fashioned. He promised to go out, but we never did. Now, he does not reply to my text. I wrote that I would like to know if he is ok to join me for Yoga or dance. Shall I call him and ask why he did not reply?
@@shalimar29how it is going now
My Grandpa always said that if you do that right away what is ther to look forward too? Or it's like taking a test drive before you buy!!
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The moment I called him out on just wanting sex and just being a F Boy, he got super upset at me and then didn't want to talk to me.
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Im facing the opposite problem. They want to get serious with me, and I dont seek for commitments at the moment. Have too much going on and enjoy the ability to control meeting to my expectations.
If his answer to “what is your most important need in a romantic relationship?” is “sex” - it’s honest AND it’s a clear message of where he’s at in that moment. Another place to believe him and consider if you are both looking for the same thing. This answer is present even after marriage. Marriage doesn’t mean you’re on the same page, unfortunately, I think especially in religious communities where sex before marriage is strongly discouraged.
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How do I know he wants sex? He’s breathing!! Lol 😂 Seriously, just in texting before a date, guys have come right out and told me exactly what they want. I told them no, we haven’t even met yet. There’s no first date.
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Excellent. I really liked the magic wand question. It helps both of you not waste your time.
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It's also a sign, when a random guys texting me on social media. (In general when I don't know him personally.) Didn't bother to introduce himself, only texting "Hi!" Or "Wanna hang out?"
Many of the things you said have more to do with a personality that isn’t ripe for any kind of connection. Sex in and of itself can be wonderful and connective even if it’s outside the definition of a classic relationship. So it’s about the person’s energy and personality that makes the difference here. Not so much sex or no sex. Feel the person and decide whether the energy is right for you - right from the get-go
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Men (or man-boys as I prefer to call them) who are looking for casual hookups generally aren't ripe or deserving of any intimate connection imo.
If all that dating apps and so-called sexually liberated women have created, is a nation of sex starved individuals who know nothing of emotionally mature relations, then society itself is pretty much f*cked! Sex is more than just a cheap and meaningless exchange between randy people looking to satisfy their urges!
When he only talks about your physical attributes.
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This doesn't help me at all haha. I'm dating a guy and it's like 50/50. The problem is, the sex is so good that I understand why he wants it all the time cos I do a lot of the time too. That being said, I want a family someday and I'm afraid I'm wasting my time in this relationship as even though I'm enjoying it....I already feel I want more of his time. He meets me for non sexual dates and talks about non sexual stuff and he's said he's not just interested in sex and just wants to go with the flow. But then most of our conversations are sexual, I've never said no to sex with him cos I've never wanted to (in 7 months) ...but then on the other hand he really doesn't prioritise me. Like I can feel he will plan things with his friends above me, and just if he's tired or a bit sick he doesn't want to meet (and I offer to just go there and hang out) and it happens more often than I'm happy with. I feel he just wants a part time girlfriend or something....like nomad life...all the take with too little give. Men are so confusing 🙄
That's not 50/50.
You are wasting your time. FWB
Seven months, lady it’s time to take a sex break, let him go cold Turkey. I wasted time on a guy having great sex, and believe me it’s time to ask him to commit!!!
Lauren......I agree with Jackie; keep your cookie for your husband. ....he is the one who deserves you and will bless you for honoring him for WAITING on your king who will treat you as his queen! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME !!! As a matter of fact, he is the one holding up your blessing because you are soul-tied to this guy & he is only using you for SEX. His actions speak louder than his words! God bless you as you wait upon Him to renew your strength & give you the peace you need to "walk away!" 🙏🏾🤗
I loved your advise Gloria.🤗❤️
Total turn off for me for a guy who only thinks of sex other than building a relationship...duh plz give us a break
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Good video's Mat, thank you! As an older woman, I know that many men think that if the sex is good, the relationship will work out. In truth, sex can start out fantastic, but as life gets more complicated, there is a lot more to a good partner than sex. I was like that too......but learned in the long run that sex is a part of a relationship, but other things can break it up when life gets harder. SO I don't think sex should be the qualifier or what a relationship is based on, because over time, we all change. Men get so focused on the sex, that they ignore other qualities in a woman that are what make or break a successful union, marriage or relationship. IMHO. A sexy guy isn't always the best partner in the long run.
What if a guys in a relationship and is still looking for casual sex? How do I read those signs, expert???
This was a conversation this morning with a guy my age (58)
Him “Thought Saturday morning question , but you seem so strong willed. One curiosity I have is sleep attire… teddy, bra and panties or al natural “
My response “ one day you may be lucky enough to find out 😊 somethings are better to be shared in person “
His response “perfect response “
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Many men actually find dating a TOTAL WASTE of time, energy and money if it does not lead straight to sex! It is what it is... 🤷♂️
My home is my boundary.
When I hear the right words and right phrases….. straight from the heart ( and I will know when it is) ……
Then we can talk about pizza and a movie at my place.
“My space” is my peace of mind.
You can try and play with my head, but you can’t invade my peace of mind.🇯🇲 🇧🇿
There's this guy at work who I thought wanted to be friends, I flirted with him a little and now all he wants to do is sext. I don't want that. I just wanted a friend. Too bad. I guess now I have to shut him down. I've tried multiple times to have a normal convo, but it's become impossible.
I waited four years to date someone after ten years of dating same frame of mind guys. I decided once I wanted to date again I’m going to have boundaries and certain things mind that I’ll look for in man 1 who supports himself 2 maturity in his character 3 spiritual 4 he doesn’t mind children & family life 5 communication 6 be respectful to others women and men. I’m sure there’s room to grow as we navigate through our relationship. This man is amazing from the first date he’s made plans in the future even though we didn’t know it wasn’t going to move forward or not but it been fantastic between us we had our moments but we like to talk about what’s happening with us or we tell each other if we need time and he’s just been on board , and it makes me respect him as a man, who he is.🙏
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Great video! Been watching a few of yours lately but this one struck a chord with me. I m on dating apps and always get those guys who just want sex but never figured out how the best way was to respond … until now from this video! Thanks Matt!
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Wished I had known about the magic wand question 45 years ago . . . . .
Loooool signs that he is interested in sex - looking for women who are dtf- that's not a sign, it's clear communication, no need to watch a 10 mins video to decipher that code!
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Comments under such videos are actually more helpful then the video 😂
I connected with this guy on a dating site. From the get-go, he said that although he was looking for an LTR, he claimed that sexual chemistry was extremely important in a relationship and so he wanted to check that out with me first. He asked to “play” every night on Facetime. I didn’t do it, was against my grain.
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Uh, NO. Thats a covert way to have sex with females ... soo he was jacking off on FT. OMG!!!
I can't believe women fall for all this BS from males.
Same happened to me, but the guy actually lives 20 kms away. He was nice and polite for a week,said he was looking for something serious,communication was good and consistent, we set up a date to meet for coffee at weekend. 3 days before the date, he starts asking me sexual stuff and when I reply that I don't discuss such stuff this early, he says...let me send you a photo of my "goodies" so you get a preview before our date! I cancelled the date immediately and he was very, very butthurt about it. His argument was "I just wanted you to be sure I am worth your time"(duh).
I've been seeing a doctor and the convo always turns back to sex, begging for pics, etc. Some men are clever at turning the topic back around to sex everytime
How it is going now
@@Smartones-y2r That was just a brief relationship 😅
some men lie...One guy I dated said he wanted a whole relationship with sex included. but in the end he only wanted sex. another guy wanted to test drive my body like you test drive a car. He said he wanted a whole relationship but in the end he wanted sex and if it was any good then he wanted me. he told me that after he said he was separated from his wife for 21 years and never got a divorce. I never knew any of this. Why can't people just be honest as it isn't that hard to do. I am no body's fwb or bootie call. I want a whole relationship with sex included.
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You are correct. They will say whatever gets them what they want, and they put on a good face to impress you. It takes time to get them to let the mask down, and see who they really are. They are hunters and see you as a 'goal' to achieve what they want, and often play a part that they think will impress you. It takes time, so no hurry, just be aware of their tendency to want to impress you to get what they want. Sorry for this sad news....
@@sarahkittelson622 I found out that not all men are like that. My almost 4 month boyfriend is nothing like that...Jesus brought him to me and we are so very blessed
Having them wait for long to know if he really loves you then after getting what they want and leave.
I'm scared of the word I love you.
Because it might comes from the mouth that doesn't mean it.
I recon men hunting for sex first of all go for what they desire the most, when there is no chance in sight, they go for the easier ones. The ones that physically don’t move away when heading over to them. Its good to “wear” the attitude of self esteem and confidence level you want to attract. The worst gives up easy and you have the bests to choose from when you show your mental standard and top it with a kind and self respecting elegant style. Looking forward to try the number 6 :) thank you!
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I love matt….clear concise advice derived from life. So glad i have discovered your chanel
Some men will deny that they are just looking for sex.
Yes some Men are pigs an lyers I'm fifty eight years old I give up but I enjoy my own company I'm never.sad most peopley age are divorce hang in there and god bless you I hope you get some one good. From Diane