I went for an assessment and was told " autism is ruled out because you're married" I doubt I will ever find a professional who takes me seriously. I have struggled my whole life and have tried medication, therapy and self help books and I finally realize it's something I can't fix but also will never be validated. I am 45 years old.
You have my sympathy, I am a 45 year old man living in the U.K who is married, I have just gone through the assessment process and 2 Weeks ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, I'm still trying to process it all to be honest. Keep at it with trying to get a diagnosis, persistence is the key.
@@Elizarge I am a married man who was just diagnosed. The first time I met my wife was literally me trying to make her feel better about tripping by doing the socially wrong thing. I'm married in spite of my Autism, and being married rules nothing out.
I’m not sure it would change anything if you had a diagnosis. Is there any treatment or help that you could take advantage of? What would change for you?
I'm 50, I've been battling myself my whole life: things that just seem so simple, and should be, that are nigh impossible for me to do or get done, problems I've had my whole life with interacting with other people. Yet I've held jobs even though it was very tough for me as I always had to take long rests after work just to be able to wind down and continue, I thought of myself as lazy and that I shouldn't whine about it. I have always had trouble keeping my home "functional". Only this year I've been diagnosed with autism and the more that starts to sink in and hit home, the more angry I become about how I've "punished" myself for being different and "lazy" all these years.
Same with me, 51 and diagnosed dec1st. I’m now trying to forgive myself for all sorts of things. I’ve held down jobs in manufacturing for Mitsubishi then changed to IT in rigid help desk conditions to level 3 support that’s less stressful except when something breaks
@@jasonbourne4865 I'm researching for a psychologist now. One of the companies said their assessment will consist of 2 one hour sessions. Is this normal? It seems like a short amount of time to get to know the person. How long will your assessment be Jason?
Good video, particularly the recognition of the fact that almost all adults with autism will have learned masking and coping strategies and therefore their autism will not be so immediately evident. For example autistic adults will generally try to make eye contact and hold conversations; the evidence often comes from the fact that they find these things more demanding and generally don't do them so well or fluently rather than they don't do them at all. Social interaction is in many ways like a foreign language and an autistic adult is like someone who can speak that language but not fluently, making themselves understood to some degree but also making errors which show their status as an outsider; too many clinicians expect them to be like the person who can't speak the language at all or only know a few words.
I can hold a conversation for a couple of minutes but I eventually hit a brick wall and start looking down and not responding much after that. The entire time I'm trying to predict how much I have to say before I can go and be by myself.
I'm just now coming to the realization that I'm on the spectrum, after bugging my son for 10 years to get assessed because it seemed obvious that he was on the spectrum. After his diagnosis, my kids started bugging me about me being on the spectrum as well. I ignored them because I was also dealing with CPTSD, which has overlapping symptoms. But after treating the CPTSD, which I did like a boss, by the way, because I hyper-focused on it lol, I'm still processing the same way. I just don't have anxiety or hyper-vigilance. So yeah, I probably am autistic, but I don't know why I should get diagnosed. What difference does a diagnosis make at this point? I'm in my 50's.
I have told one person that I am near certain I am autistic and almost instantly regretted it. Speaking for myself, most of the people around me have no idea what that is and have a distorted take on it. My friendship with this person will certainly suffer as a result. As happy as I am to now understand and finally have something to explain how hard my life has been and still is, I am going to take it slow discussing this with people. I only comment this so others will not be blindsided and hurt by others ignorance.
My parents would get angry at me for eye contact being almost impossible for me, I never even realized it could mean something other than me being weird. I have had to learn many coping mechanisms to fit in, I have never been diagnosed but the more I look at it the more it seems relevant to me
Same situation here. Always had people commenting on how I never looked them in the eyes when speaking, never in a really negative way though, more so them being curious. I really wish that there were more resources for undiagnosed adults; having to learn coping mechanism on your own is frustratingly difficult, and stunts social growth if done improperly, at least in my personal experience.
I’m going to a GP to hopefully get a referral but I’m terrified of not being taken seriously by whoever tests me, it’s hard when you’re an adult and had everything brushed under the rug when you were a child as just being “quirky” or “different”
yes, your right. I am 53 yrs old, back in the day growing up, they just labeled you as slow,dumb,lazy......but if they only knew, what WE ALL are capable of doing, in our daily,everday lives!
i'm in the exact same boat here..... but i'm also struggling and having a hard time and i feel like possibly having a diagnosis could give me the sort of help i need idk what to do anymore but i feel like i'm drowning.
100% get it. I am so afraid to go to a psychologist that isn’t used to someone like me or an adult woman diagnosis assessment. Because if somebody says to me what everyone else has been saying. Stuff like oh that isn’t unusual there’s lots of people who feel that way. Oh yeah so I have to live the rest of my life not understanding myself.
Great video!:) I am an adult on the Autism Spectrum:) Asperger’s Syndrome is what I have:) I agree adults tend to mask their behaviors more. It’s deeply concerning because the diagnosis is still there. But the resources aren’t for those whom assume one isn’t autistic when they are just masking. Reading comprehension is an area where for some it can be a hint it ties in with language development:) A lot of adults are masking their autism, but still behaving in a way that is unnatural to them. They have to work 3-4x times harder which leaves them drained at the end of the day or anxious and depressed.
This totally sums me up. Thanks for posting this comment. I have paid for an assessment, it was online today and I feel that the assessor was missing out on someof the issues I have, and because I nodded in agreement to something she said, she was like "see, you nodded." We hadn't even finished the assessment, where the questions of my early years have not been answered by my parents yet, and she basically said, you are not autistic and basically prepare yourself to be told that.
Autism can not be reversed. It’s the same as saying someone whom is gay can be converted. Your brain wiring is what you are born with. Autistic thinking is deep in the cells and brain structure. Herbs and different cognitive therapy supports systems can relive anxiety and depression associated with the lack of acceptance for people with Autism. Also normal define that:) Neurodiversity aka Autism is a beautiful thing:) If I didn’t have Asperger’s the milder end of the spectrum. I wouldn’t be talented with thinking outside the box and predicting a logic solution to a visual problem. I wouldn’t see the amazing details that others don’t pick up on:) Autism can be a gift too:) I would see my life as very boring if I was not who I am and being on the Autism Spectrum is part of that:) Bill Gates, Mozart, Elon Musk & Michelangelo are some whom have Asperger’s Syndrome which is on the Autism Spectrum:) Those whom think there’s a cure for Autism is like saying you can cure a gay person. Or change the color of your hair. Non verbal autistic individuals some even use computers to talk. It’s shows them pictures and they select from the photos to write sentences:) It’s still unknown why some of us don’t speak. Maybe they never learned lip movements. Since the sensory input they received is on a different frequency. So they get distracted by the bright lights and sounds. Which creates a white noise pitch. So they would not be able to focus on lip movements. So they don’t speak, but they do have thoughts like everyone else. People whom are not Autistic tend to lie more and be more dishonest. Non autistic people tend have lower levels of thinking logically. They tend to judge more and fall to peer pressure. It’s pretty sad to see non autistics have their set of challenges too. Autistic are less likely to do drugs and be addicted. Hope you have a good day though:)
If one thinks that being gay or transgender can be cured or is wrong then that’s a whole different discussion. How to combat homophobic hate. The brain set up and hormone levels can be balanced more to being the opposite gender. Both being Autistic & being LGBTQ is common to have simultaneously:) Again we are less pressured to go by society’s standards and be who we are:) Our differences are greater but acceptance not cure it’s key:)
@@artisticendeavorsemmorris.3165 “autism is a beautiful thing” You mean that disorder that causes 80% of its sufferers to not be able to hold a job ? That is beautiful? Or the same disorder that has a shocking high self deletion rate? You think it’s beautiful? Just because a small % can make it work in their life doesn’t make it great or beautiful
I'm 17 years old, and I have an ADHD diagnosis. However, recently I have noticed other symptoms that I suspect may warrant an autism diagnosis. I have always been very unaware as to how to change my communication style to fit my social settings. I have always found talking to adults easier than other children because they have generally catered to my desire to talk about a certain thing or they have met my formal conversational style. I seem to have a mild cognitive rigidity in that regard. The older I have gotten, and the more I realized I was supposed to be socializing with children my age, the more I have reverted to isolation. Unconsciously, I avoid social situations in which group socialization is required because I fail to navigate them quite frequently, even when I have similar interests and a similar temperament to that of my peers. I constantly create plans, like pathways through my day, down to minute detail; when something is thrown in my plan, such as a spontaneous (within about three hours) change or interruption, I will either shut down or throw what seems to be a mature temper tantrum (screaming and crying out of frustration, not communicating effectively out of frustration) even if I was planning on not doing anything for that day. A good example of this is how I would wake up late for school, and then decide that I couldn't go because I wouldn't make it on time. I also have hypersensitivity/hyposensitivity to sound depending on random circumstances. I sometimes freak out/cry/scream/thrash around when feeling sensory overload, and at the same time I feel like the only way to soothe this is through further stimulating my senses in a different way (hitting myself in the forehead, screaming, throwing things) to feel release or I just cry until the feeling goes away. I don't know what would change if I did get a diagnosis, but I just want to know why this is happening.
@Nathan This is definitely something I've considered that has made me question if I even want to seek out a diagnosis. I am obviously frustrated with these experiences. I want to be able to overcome the hardships they cause, however I've found (in therapeutic settings and otherwise) that when I'm given solutions to these issues, solutions which don't involve autistic contextualization, they are often unhelpful. In fact, your statement, "this has to serve as a base for a plan, not as an excuse to impose more limitation", is often communicated to me (though I understand it's not what you meant when writing out this quote) as a means of minimizing my symptoms and actual lived experiences of having certain limitations. It's often delivered as an issue of tolerance to exerting effort in a vacuum (or as an isolated occurrence), except I'm perfectly capable of exerting effort in effort's sake. This contextualization, this validity, is mainly what I believe would be the most helpful result of an autism diagnosis. There are certain things that, if I want to be able to function properly for extended periods of time, I am genuinely unable to do, as they impose great amounts of stress onto me which leads to psychological burnout. I've come to understand that certain accommodations to daily living situations, such as sitting in a classroom, may need to be made in order for me to avoid exerting compensational amounts of effort for me to be on the same page as a neurotypical individual in the same situation. My claim essentially is that I'm able to produce the same results, maybe even superior results, from my efforts, but the conditions in which I am exerting effort can not be the same as neurotypical's in order to achieve those results. I have tested this theory, constantly trying to push myself to work under the conditions of a non-autistic person because I didn't want to admit to any sort of limitations (fearing this would also be admitting I was inadequate or a failure), but this has only led to severe burnouts over and over again. I can't agree that the validation of an autism diagnosis would increase these patterns, as most of these burnouts have occurred under an ignorance to the actual diversity of autism symptoms and their true impact on different individuals. In fact, I believe that the validity from this diagnosis would allow for access to more specialized treatments which would address my limitations, in order to develop skills to work around them. In this sense, the "why" is a vital point in my treatment. Also I want to just say that your English is excellent (in regard to your extended vocabulary and your displayed understanding of English grammar), so no need to apologize. It just seems you have a few consistent grammatical errors that just happen to stick out in English more so than, say, errors which are more frequent among native speaking populations. As someone who is trying to learn Polish, I am very aware of how difficult it is to perfect different languages' grammar, especially because it forced me to understand English to a deeper level, and that made me realize that English is one of the most inconsistent and incomprehensible methods of communication, so I don't blame you or misunderstand you for these errors. In fact, by reading your message, I believe the way your language grammatically structures sentences conveys your message much clearer, so don't worry too much about being judged by English speakers for it. It is often the case anyway that those individuals are monolingual and aren't able to comprehend that it is actually most often the syntax of *their* language that is hard to follow when communicating. I'm sorry about the little language rant. I find linguistics very fascinating.
@Nathan I understand what you mean. I never thought your original response didn’t have merit. I believe that a priority autistic people need to focus on in life is figuring out how to do things in a world that was built to cater to people who are different from them. Even if I don’t have autism, I still need to figure out how to work to care for myself and manage myself so that I can function consistently in life, so your message wasn’t without truth. I also understand how unpleasant emotions can lead to that desire to overcompensate. I believe that if you set some time aside for creativity, you can figure out exactly what is troubling you and the best method to prevent burnouts and prolonged unhappiness. You don’t need to validate yourself through external approval; other people’s opinion of you is not as important as the path to recovery from mental anguish. It is a journey, one that is best cultivated in time. You don’t need to set unrealistic expectations and beat yourself up about not living up to them. You can only solve your problems one situation at a time. Don’t try to rush yourself into being the person you’re becoming; it only lengthens the process.
"(Even) when I _______ ; I accept myself fully and completely". Fill in the blank with ANYTHING.... blink, breathe, cry, shut down, stim, laugh, etc... literally any word. [From Matt Kahn All For Love Angel Academy 13]
By the time the spectrum was established I was graduating high school...but I'm fortunate enough that when I did get tested at 24 I met the cut-off and finally received a diagnosis of Autism.
I’m actually afraid to go and look for a diagnosis in case they say no no it’s not autism and then I have to get used to the idea that I’m just a freak.
I always thought I was unique and special and even if I did have autism I would still consider myself as such but now with a community. Normal is boring, why would you ever want to be that?!
I don’t maintain eye contact almost at all. I didn’t even know I was doing this till I asked someone to critique me in a speaking assignment i had. He said, “you never looked at me once.” And I’ve noticed ever since that I don’t have eye contact with people. I’m listening to their words. At the same time, I was beaten the hell out of by my mom’s boyfriend when I was kid for 6-7 years. And he’d hit me more when I looked at him in defiance. That started when I was 7-8 years old, till mid teens, ~ 14. At any case, I’m socially awkward. I say things that shouldn’t be said. I tend to speak on facts, data, philosophical topics. I don’t understand feelings or emotions. Im actually studying phenomenology to understand the structure of emotions, because introspective psychology and living or experiencing emotions doesn’t work and is foolish to me. I see emotions as dangerous and chaotic. Idk that I have quirky motor movements. I adjust my shoulders a lot and stretch my neck, but I go to the gym a lot and have shoulder issue and tight traps. I know that I come at a wall or stall when I’m called to make a change in my life. I go silent and can’t give a reason to not want to make a move. So I say, “I need to think about it.” But my thinking about anything is to go through every detail before coming to a conclusion. Small talk is annoying to me. I’m reflecting and I try to steer dialogue to philosophical topics. But mostly I don’t really talk to anyone. I’m also an INTJ of which explains a lot of how I am, almost to a T. Idk. I’ll get it checked out.
I want to add that for me when it comes to eye contact, I can do it Fairley well cuz I stare at the iris of the person's eye but the black pupil elicits panic. So if at anytime I look at someone in the eye I'm looking at their iris and mentally noting the webbing and color scheme but the second that black pupil is in my direct view I panic and look away. I also look at the whites of their eyes and eyelashes and general shape of their eye. I have to consciously look away every few seconds so it doesn't seem like I'm staring. I also many times take off my glasses to look at people in the eye so they think I'm looking them in the eye but really their face is so super blurry I can look at the blurry dark area where their eyes are and not feel panic on my end and they feel comfortable on their end and also make sure not to stare cuz I can't see their face too well and instinctively I try to focus my eyes to make out features so I look away to the left or right by turning my head so it doesn't look like I'm staring. I also sometimes stare at hairline or mouths or the eyebrows or bridges of noses or if they have glasses I stare at the frames. This is just how I've been able to camouflage "eye contact" to seem normal.
i’m getting assessed in 10 days. i’m nervous. i’ve never been validated for what i feel and always told i’m too sensitive or don’t know what i’m talking about.
Good luck in your assessment. Just be honest with the person diagnosing you. Let them know you're nervous and why. If you have any concerns, like that you're masking some of your traits and are afraid they'll miss them, tell them. If you have language or labels you prefer, tell them. While there are plenty of bad diagnosis stories out there, I assume you have no reason to believe the person you're working with won't be respectful or know how to diagnose you. Remember, even if you don't get the diagnosis you're expecting, this isn't the end of your journey.
From my perspective, "neuurotypical" people are just perpetuating cruelty against divergent people by making the testing and assessment so difficult let alone the crushing disappointment of being told no, nope, sorry you don't fit. Normals take everything from us, even our souls. I've played the role of normal for so long I don't even know who I am. I'm a brilliant method actor, but that's all I am now, an actor with a part. Make it a little easier for us. Ok? We're wounded. We're frustrated. We're confused. We're tired. We're angry. And once again you hold all the cards.
I agree. It's rather wierd to feel you have to squeeze into someone else's definition of "a disorder", and actually what's the benefit? Eschewing normality and developing your own alternative story-line is what's builds your life (back).
The reason diagnosis of disorder is important is not obtaining a label in itself, more so it is helpful for "normals" too understand and find treatments/care for said "not normals". It is the reason why I went from not speaking until 5 and predicted too heavily struggle in life too being relatively stable and fluent with some aspects of communication, it gave me the building blocks I needed along with the harshness of life itself, my job, and past relationships.
Agreed. I'm watching this and I'm cringing at every time she talks about needing other people's perspectives. It's like my therapist said, "They basically try to see how annoying we are to neurotypicals." The truth is, I know my struggles WELL. I'm NOT a child. I don't need my mommy to tell you I have struggles... I hide that stuff from others.
I am a loner because most neurotypical people are exhausting to be around, whether or not I am on the spectrum. And I have been the target of quite a bit of cruelty, which has led to me responding with aggression or cruelty of my own. So I relate to how you feel on a personal level. I for the most part keep my struggles to myself, I owe nobody any apologies of explanations for who abd what I am, and neither do you.
It sounds like me at work. :-( I work in a packing department in a hardware supply warehouse, and I have latched onto the basics of the job quickly enough. However, there are a certain questions in particular, simple things that I've had to ask others several times before the information sank in, and I've over heard a few people mention their annoyance on my asking about those simple things. 🙄 Which leads me to feel extremely drained at the end of the day, with guilt and wracked nerves, and I don't even want to eat during lunch break, and I also find that I have an upset stomach each day now, I barely eat ever since starting my new job. I'm overly stressed about making mistakes, so I double and even triple check my weights on my scale /packages, even when I see the correct numbers the first time. I really do like my job because for the most part, I work alone and don't need to really be interacting with others aside for a few times a day. I enjoy the repetitive nature and organization requirements. At 41 years old, I feel like I can relate wholeheartedly to the general symptoms. It's very frustrating to me because I'm not sure where to go from here. I've always found it so much easier to express myself through writing, better than speaking to others in person. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I've recently gotten better with forcing eye contact, but in a natural way, with everyone that I speak to. *sigh* I just needed to vent. 😞 Good luck to everyone here.
What annoys me about my work is colleagues always insist on giving the brief over the phone. So during the call I have to write down notes (basically writing what they're saying) while also listening and contributing. Then they ask if I got everything as though what they said is clear. First I didn't even have time to think about what they're saying because I'm typing, also if they know exactly what they want why not just write it as a list and note down any points that are flexible.
She makes it sound like it's so easy to get an assessment. I talked to both my psychiatrist and therapist about believing I am autistic and while they didn't dismiss me outright both asked why I would want it because it wouldn't change treatment and that they would have to send me to someone else for it and neither gave me a referral
I am a transman 25 years. No regrets. 3 PhD's cleared me for transition and ten surgeries... I had family support to make it though...53 now. Went in for an ASD assessment when all my supports 4 died within 4 years. I still had my letters from Harry Benjamin standards showing I was competent for surgery. One visit to a PCP for an autism assessment and I was told the 3 PhD's were wrong, I wasn't competent to judge if my surgeries were a success or not and it was documented an Axis II deferred. Be careful... The medical professionals out there ARE NOT going by the DSM V but go by III and IV... I did get a formal ASD diagnosis but it was ultra expensive... What family I have left helped with that, interviewed ect. I am getting services now to help me manage ADL's. A formal diagnosis is not a one day test. It is comprehensive and months to complete by neuro psyche. A short term one day test is a good place to start though.
Any medical professional still using DSM-IV (or earlier) labels or criteria (assuming they are in a country that primarily uses the DSM as a diagnostic guide) shouldn't be seeing patients. The DSM-5 is almost 10 years old now. I think a lot of so-called professionals that still use labels, like AS or PDD-NOS, use them because they want to cater to adults or caregivers who fear the autism label and want to be told they or their loved ones have autism lite. That ship sailed in 2013. You're either autistic or you're not, and that's the way it should be. I'm sorry you had to deal with such ignorance while trying to find a proper diagnostician.
Sadly to say, the only reason I’d even want diagnosis, is for family and the few friends I have to see the validation and take me seriously on it. Growing up in a highly religious and conservative family, it was always the explanation that I was weird or acting out and seemingly no one ever considered autism. I even ignored it myself for close to a decade until around three years ago. That’s when I actually considered it possible and read into it, and every thing made sense suddenly, but I still lack diagnosis and validation. Maybe I’m wrong to care what others think, but I feel it would mean a lot to me to have that acceptance by those who are close.
Wow. That is so me. I recently have been diagnosed with autism by a consultant psychiatrist at age 55. the best outcome of the diagnosis is that it allows me explain to my parents and sibling that I love them so much but I find being around them for more than a couple of hours very taxing. It’s not that I don’t love them, it’s just I need to retreat and be alone. I would go for a diagnosis for this reason alone. I wish you luck
excellent presentation .. hopefully doctors in the psychiatric fields learn this stuff cuz there's still too many that don't realize there's a SPECTRUM and many people go through life undiagnosed. Thank you!
This information has been so helpful so thank you! I was considering a formal diagnosis after learning that I might be on the spectrum but now, after listening to this, I can see that in my case, it would do very little to benefit my situation. It was my wife’s psychologist who suspected it and after researching, taking many assessments and tracing my struggles with so many areas all the way back to childhood, I have no doubt. It all makes so much sense now. Thank you👍
I really want to come forward and tell the higher ups at my new job that I'm having these issues, and am just beginning to look into this possibility for the first time. But I've been putting it off already for a few days. I keep on telling myself that when the weekend passes, and I go back on Monday that I'll be ready to talk about the issue with someone. I am actually very nervous that I will mess things up, as I'm not used to being in the spotlight in that way with people who I barely know, and who barely know me, also.
I wouldn’t… do so when you have a piece of paper and a list of recommendations for accommodation. Otherwise, they won’t know what to do with that info and just make assumptions.
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was a child back in the 80's. I severely believe I was misdiagnosed as because now I am in my 40's, I display amny autistic characteristics that I just thought were associated as adhd...but it feels different. Biggest issue for me as always..has been eye contact. It was always bad. Everyone always said 'you dont look into the eyes. I have an eye rolling problem and people take offense to that. I have not looked one single customer in their eyes at the job I have worked at for the past 7 years.
I'm Autistic, I can make eye contact unless your trained in eye contact you'll probably never tell what I'm doing as it looks usual. Inside I am performing prompting myself to make eye contact to monitor length directions, look away when appropriate etc. I'm good I do slip up esp. when I'm talking as it's hard to thinki about what your eyes are doing when your thinking out what you want to say.
I'm 43. I was taught in high school how to shake hands and have eye contact for job interviews. I spend lots of time focusing on bridge if someone's nose I forget what they are saying. I've stop giving hand shakes and rather a hug because so often I was told my grip was too intense. Constant struggle because not everyone wants to be touched but I don't know how else to feel connected to them when just getting to know them.
I've always forced eye contact, and I've recently made a concerted effort to unmask. If I need to avert my eyes during a conversation, even just temporarily, I do it. It's not easy to unlearn to mask after a lifetime of doing so, but it is essential.
I'm 52, live alone n am struggling more n more as I get older. I have never been diagnosed but I can clearly see that it's taken a toll on quality of life.
Im looking forward for getting assessed...i think i would be more confortable with trying to make some autistic online friends and even meet someone in my area. I dont deal well with most "normal" people.
I do need to perhaps take a speech class cause I can improve on small talk. Most of the symptoms I know I have. It was a point in time when I did struggle with eye contact
What I wouldn't give to talk with Dr. Bal in a clinical setting - unlikely to happen, but my wheels are spinning - In my lifetime: Family members have been clinically diagnosed with: Schizophrenia, Bipolar, PTSD, ADHD to both of my own children with ASD... Then I really wonder about genetics... My way of connecting dots so no harm.
I was rediagnosed today with autism plus my previous adhd diagnosis minus medication for it. It has been quite wye opening to say the least when it comes to my emotions and my behavior.
I understand why you wouldn't tell people, but laughing might be a sign that they don't get it. It's not your job to educate the world but it might benefit you to tell the people closest to you how you feel about it so they can show up better, for you.
I encounter so many professionals making it a point to ask why I want a diagnosis😳 like seriously? I don’t give a single fuck about any support system made by the government....but holy fuck, as a professional, you DONT believe that there’s a benefit to EVERYONE understanding their own brains!?!?!?
I'm trying to get diagnosed with Autism and I tried watching this to properly inform myself in the meantime I ended up picking at my face and nose to stim and calm myself and now I'm bleeding 😭 I'm so upset I can't just watch a video. It's a very informative good video and I will try to finish because I need to.
Thank you for recording and posting this interesting educational video. I am an adult child of someone who had undiagnosed autism and feel "under the influence of autism" whether I am on the spectrum of autism or not and trying to figure out what portions are "nature vs nurture".
I'm so sad that society doesn't understand how much we are missing by not individualising for all people so they can achieve at their best. Strongly recommend the book "Neurotribes - the legacy of autism" as an overview of how much autistic people have contributed to our society.
Remember... maintain the professionalism of your peers. This is very important work. Thank you. We take a lot of abuse out here when we go to the wrong person and some professions are governed poorly. And now we have a people shortage so it's about to get worse.
I've forgiven myself at age 52. Countless misunderstandings in past communities now make sense. My Pollyanna-like heart makes me special. I am hopeful. The more self aware Katie will model my own journey for others to learn new languages, cultures, and nurture friendship opportunities around the world. 🌏
It's hard to say if there's anything wrong with me. After losing my job in October of 2016 I stopped leaving the house. I live with my dad and brother but they don't know how to help so they just leave me be. It's been been more than 5 years since I've had any real human contact. It's starting to feel weird now.
Hang in there Tina, sorry to hear the job. I am just here at home with my family. My surroundings feel unfamiliar each day, I feel the weirdness over here.
The attitude towards adult autists in public healthcare in my country (Finland) is terrible. The doctors think that masking and camouflaging means that you have adapted (”cured” of autism) and you are ok, and you don’t need a diagnosis or any help because you don’t have any real problems. The reason is ignorance (”only children can be autists” but they grow up, don’t they?) and also the need to cut costs. So you must go to the private doctors and clinics to be diagnosed and it is very expensive… but I needed the diagnosis, so I am now to be assessed in a private clinic and it seems that I have both ASD and ADHD.
The asessment costs 400 eur in Portugal. Plus i might get my insurance to cover part of it. Lets see...seeing US prices i think its very cheap. But i know in Scandinavian countries the salaries are high but the prices are too.
That is true if you have no family members or any acquaintance close to you. Because then you are the one telling doctor that you’re autistic. It’s kind of fucked up moment. Because if you are autistic just doing it on your own is difficult. That said autistic person definitely needs a care taker, the government
It would be good to understand how one might afford a comprehensive assessment. The autism diagnosis is notably intricate, complex and has many subtle and varied dimensions which will have treatment implications, but one has to "get them in the door" to begin with! If the path is too costly (hours x expertise x institution = $$$), it's hard to get people through the process. If it is too in-depth, the experience may be too confrontational. If the intention behind questions and evaluation tools is not obvious, there may be too little trust, or the ability to respond with a single, logical answer is difficult to connect with. These issues, among others, may suggest an iterative process of evaluation will be more useful over time than to attempt an exact diagnosis during the initial steps. This needs to be easier, up front, and over time the other aspects of the area can be developed.
The AQ test exists… as do others. They have their drawbacks when they’re testing for something subtle with many presentations. If you can develop a short, unintrusive, foolproof, sensitive test for autism then you’ll be doing the world a lot of good. The same applies for literally every medical field - you’ve basically described the holy grail of every diagnostic process. Failing that: Socialism?
Was told the best they could give me was a diagnostic impression as someone had to witness traits in childhood--but all my family is either dead or out of the picture
It's only adults who are AuDHD or ASD who read, watch videos, and talk about eye contact difficulties I mean think about it for a minute. In all honesty I can't have a Conversation and look into someone's eyes at the same time. It's too much, i can't find my words but I also feel like I'm bring intruded upon or the other person thinks I'm weird for looking in the wrong way. I remember trying hard In my younger years, but I would end up staring for too long. There Is also an almost mute expression I have. People think I'm sad because I don't smile so much. And having photographs taken I hate hate hate. I even don't know what my natural laugh is. I was always in awe of people who could laugh or smile naturally. I prefer to spend alot of time alone, or 121. I've also heard lots of adults with asd feeling like an alien since childhood
During conversations i tend to look at peoples mouths. I need the sound and movement of the lips to fully focus and understand. Although i learned to mask this to the max. My ex fiancé kept asking me if i was nervous on the first date because i couldnt look him the eyes...
I do see a difference between masking and coping. Coping strategies are focused on effectively dealing with the situations in which one finds oneself, not on looking "normal" (masking), or avoiding negative attention (camouflaging).
How would an adult know that they need testing and what reason would they choose not to be tested if they suspect they're struggling with something unknown and undiagnosed to them?
These questions are confusing - nobody ‘needs’ a diagnosis of anything in and of itself. Why would you seek clarification of anything unless there was something you were curious about or something was bothering you? Similarly, there are any number of reasons someone would choose not to perform a test, from being happy with their current level of self-knowledge to financial reasons or a crippling fear of being pathologised or stigmatised. They seem like oddly trivial things to ask - is something not coming across, like this is a request for advice, rather than clarification?
There are multiple reasons autistics seek diagnosis. Validation. To know themselves. For future treatment or services. To reconnect with family. For employment accommodations. To label what they feel inside, ie to know they’re not crazy. NT’s generally don’t understand and say ableist things. Do what You feel is appropriate.
I was really enjoying the information it is very informative but unfortunately I got fixated on the amount of times that you say um and uh and then all of sudden I couldn't hear anything else other than the ums and the uhs and I'm clenching my teeth and had to pause it..?! And I don't say this to sound mean or rude I actually was curious if that is a symptom of autism because I have been thinking about being tested since my 14 year old twins were diagnosed 1 ASD and the other ADHD and now learning more about both I think that both describe me?! 🤔 Yicks! Haha
Very dry, but a very good detailed overview and with minimal USA centric thinking and even 3 years old seems to be still up to date as far as I can tell as an amateur.
To the organizers: Ask for people to send in more questions and then ask for almost culpabilisizing comprehension that only view question can be taken...
I’m also in the SW MO area, and will hopefully be getting an assessment although I have done hundreds of hours of research and I fit all of the diagnostic criteria. I’ve been interested in finding a support group or something for autistic adults but it seems everything locally is geared towards parents/autistic children. If you find one, I would also be very interested.
Can you do a presentation on how an autistic spouse can improve in a relationship? Most of the info out there involves the NT partner adjusting, accommodating, understanding, acquiescing to the ASD partner & suggests getting help elsewhere. I have done so much that I have lost myself & I am still dealing with a hostile individual. I can never get it right & I can not be myself (can not be spontaneous, cannot brainstorm & spitball ideas). Bad behavior should never be accepted, but what specific help can he get? We are having trouble finding an autism coach.
There’s something askew about looking at autism resources for help with your non-autistic sense of self. I could be wrong that this is the problem, but fortunately there are plenty of resources for neurotypical people about developing and communicating boundaries and building a sense of self. Maybe there’s room to look to self-care, rather than seeking a solution in your partner’s identity? Hostility is a big issue, but you describing fulfilling your partner’s needs as ‘acquiescing’ sounds major alarm bells in my mind, and would in any relationship. Why are you partnered with someone whose needs require you to ‘acquiesce’, rather than caring about their wellbeing and shared experience? Humans compromise, particularly with people they care about - but that starts with being healthy enough to know yourself and what is safe and appropriate for you. Resenting someone for who they are is unfair on everyone involved. Needs are needs - be they yours or your partner’s or anybody’s. If you feel like you’re fighting things someone else has no control over needing, or you don’t really believe it’s necessary or appropriate or something you can do safely then that is the source of the problem, not the needs themselves. I’m unsure whether that is close to what’s bothering you, but it’s meant in the spirit of being constructive. Interpersonal things can be challenging for everyone, and you deserve good advice and to feel valued and sustained by life. I hope things are manageable, and I’m sorry for your struggles.
My Name Is Christopher Jeffery. I Am 38 Years Old, I Was Diagnosed With Autism and Asperger's At Aged 13 In 1997. My Question Is Do Mothers With Anorexia Nervosa Have Children Born With Autism and Asperger's Syndrome. Reason Why I Am Asking Is Because I Have Autism and Asperger's Syndrome and My Mother In Her Teens, 20's and 30's Had Anorexia Nervosa. According To A Recent Study By The Spectrum News Organization It Said It Was 80 Percent True and They Think All Mothers With Anorexia Have Children With Autism & Asperger Syndrome
I never heard about this. At what age did your mom had you if i may ask? My mom had me at 35 and i suspect being older might correlate with autism. Im Vania, 34 yo. I need to research and read more. Im very new to all of this but my psychologist referred me to get evaluated as i ranked high on the basic asd questionnaires. Thanks
Look for violent behaviors, i am 49 and can mask for my workday however it is taxing and when N/Ts get on my nerves and treat me badly things go bad fast. We get sick of masking because the rest of the world is psychotic. I am personally sick of people and could care less whether they understand or not, i will teach them.
The trouble is, most people consider you defective mentally or of defective character, and treat you as such. I know all too well how anyone outside the norm is harshly and incorrectly judged by "neurotypicals."
There's an important conversation to be had regarding the disability label. I choose to label myself disabled simply because I don't live in a world that is optimized for or accommodating to me or others with my neurotype. Because I face those systemic barriers, I am disabled. If we ever achieve a world that fully accepts, includes and accommodates autistic people, maybe I would change my mind, but we won't see such a world in our lifetimes. Also, although you didn't use this specific phrase, be very careful of those who use the term "differently abled." They're usually out to minimize the barriers we face and deny us the support or accommodation we need. They're also usually very uncomfortable uttering the word "disabled," which they shouldn't be, because there's nothing wrong with being disabled.
So basically, adults are on their own and if they have to be lucky in finding experienced professionals or groups, otherwise the diagnoatic is useless.
I want to meet others who have Aspergers I haven't personally connected with Autistic people. I'm also active in sports which I know I will face some discrimination. That's ok
Suggest watching videos by Aspie ladies and see if you relate strongly to what they are saying. Most of these ‘doctors’ are ignorant. Just like most of these comments.
I got diagnosed in the UK at age 32 this year (2020). The report didn't make any sense to me, as there was no argument for or against. Literally it was just stating what my mother told them about me to age 5. The assessor didn't even really talk to me, and took my questionnaire results, and pre-prepared questions to provide answers to in writing. The diagnosis for me is meaningless, as there is no support here - they only diagnose and that's it. The self-help book I was told to buy was a waste of money, and the whole process was farcical. My family is not really supporting me with this apart from my mother. I don't understand why other people need to make accommodations or adjustments for me that they would not for others on a normal day. It's all well this theoretical discussion, but I fail to see what the point was in doing this assessment I was referred by a mental health professional (Psychologist)
Perhaps you should see this "diagnosis" as an 'opinion'. Labels don't define us unless we want them too! If you are seriously doubtful about your 'diagnosis', why not discuss this with your GP? Perhaps they could even re-refer you for a further opinion.
I was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 67 and it helped explain so much about me. The assessment was about 3 hours I think but I'd had to fill in a lengthy questionnaire beforehand and this was constantly referred to but extra questions were asked. I found it very interesting and revealing, despite the fact that I obviously didn't know what the outcome would be. Post diagnosis, I went to one group meeting at the assessment place, which totally overwhelmed me and wasn't helpful. I had expected some more personal help. I've had no other support at all including mental health support but that was partly due to covid. However the diagnosis has led me to getting as much information as possible from the online autistic community and from Google and TH-cam......so I'm immensely grateful for the assessment but disappointed with any after care.
In my first thorough assessment, I was also not pleased how focused the psychologist was on my parents' feedback. Most of my time was spent taking various tests; the psychologist spent very little time actually talking with me. Fortunately, I'm taking another assessment now with a different provider who didn't even want my parents to come in. I'm the only one giving feedback. It'll be interesting to compare them.
If a parent is diagnosed with ASD is there any medical/legal things that a parent with ASD is required to do? I score a 41 on the AD and I am sure that I have ASD. I just don’t want to go through with being evaluated if my liberal New England state is going to step in and “help” me parent my children after the fact
Your political views aside, HIPAA rules apply to any diagnosis that you get. No one is going to notify your local, state or federal government that you're autistic, unless you're undergoing some kind of court-ordered evaluation. As for your concerns regarding your parental rights being taken away, the only scenario where that might be a factor is if you have a messy custody battle and your former partner tries to convince the court that being autistic disqualifies you as a parent. While that would be a ridiculous argument and a clear violation of your rights, it's an argument a judge uneducated on autistic people might buy. So, the short answer is, unless you're in the midst of a messy custody battle or undergoing a court-ordered evaluation, getting your diagnosis likely won't have any negative impact or be disclosed to anyone but you.
Elon Musk doesn't count. He's never said he identifies as autistic and uses an obsolete functioning label (AS) named after a truly heinous man instead. I've also never seen him advocate for the community in any way; he sees being autistic as a footnote in his biography and something he can joke about on SNL, rather than something integral to who he is. As for Einstein, he was never diagnosed during his life. While it can be fun to speculate who might have been autistic and to see ourselves throughout history, I think the what-dead-celebrity-might-have-been-autistic game gets creepy when it's used to justify our existence.
Imagine if they spent all their money on providing services, rather than trying to develop a prenatal test and spreading fear, stigma and quackery (like ABA). Please don't support them.
This “research” is being funded by the research subjects. I was told I’d need to pay $2-3000 USD and there were no options for alternate funding for people who couldn’t pay. This research will be skewed to upper class people who can throw that kind of cash on an unknown entity. It’s appalling that the cost to anyone participating is not stated upfront in a transparent manner.
Hello. This study is fully funded by Simons Foundation (SFARI) and has absolutely zero cost to participants. We are a research study within a non-profit organization (www.SFARI.org) and do not charge participants anything to join or to participate in any portion of the study.
Good info but unable to focus through the “um’s”. Couldn’t complete the video. Not trying to be mean, it’s a distraction that I personally cannot tolerate.
Interesting information but it was very hard for me to follow along because of how many times you said umm. Maybe next time you post a video, please be cognizant of saying that so that it’s not so distracting. I mean this in the nicest way because I can’t be the only one who was Distracted.
Actually you have been popped up on my list of TH-cam videos!! Neither I or anyone I know of is having “Otism”. It was non existent in my family and no one I know of is suffering from this disease. I also have very little interest in knowing this subject. And I do not contribute for such cause.
I listen to everything on youtube on 1.75 speed i didnt notice much. But now you mention it i realize. We all have pet peeves. Its okay. For me its mostly if i dont like someone voice. Her voice is okay for me, soft and youthful. Here i can say this. Imagine me in real life evaluating peoples voices. It happened with one of my bosses. I think he was confused if i was hitting on him 😂😂😂
Good job. Your parameters can be used to diagnose almost anyone with any type of emotional problem or disorder/Anxiety as Autistic. These type of bland Generalized videos have convinced my sister in law that every person in her Family has Autism. Especially her 21 yr old Daughter and 16 yr old Son. 2 People that function in society normally and do not have a diagnosis of anything. But apparently its very cool to dismiss your parenting and Homeschooling issues on Autism ( without diagnosis), and try and label and stigmatize/Convince your Children and extended Family that EVERYONE HAS AUTISM AND IS ON THE SPECTRUM. RIDICULOUS
Everyone has the language delays at 06:36? Everyone is meticulous as in the table at 15:45? Your definition of ‘everyone’ appears to be faulty. You’re also totally disregarding the acknowledgement that more research is needed into the markers in adult diagnosis at 10:35? No, not everyone is on the spectrum by the criteria in the video - don’t assume your misunderstanding of what is being said means what is being said is the problem. Your man is made of straw, whether you intended it to be or not. You might want to look into that rigid thinking and difficulty managing anger, though. Maybe you *are* on the spectrum - though not for the reasons you suggested. It might also explain your friends, since it is heritable, and neurotypes tend to befriend each other… Something to think about.
Just because one isn't formally diagnosed and seems to get by doesn't mean they're not autistic. There are plenty of autistic people who mask and who go to school or have careers and families. Why does the possibility of your sister-in-law or her children being autistic upset you?
I went for an assessment and was told " autism is ruled out because you're married" I doubt I will ever find a professional who takes me seriously. I have struggled my whole life and have tried medication, therapy and self help books and I finally realize it's something I can't fix but also will never be validated. I am 45 years old.
You have my sympathy, I am a 45 year old man living in the U.K who is married, I have just gone through the assessment process and 2 Weeks ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, I'm still trying to process it all to be honest. Keep at it with trying to get a diagnosis, persistence is the key.
thank you
@@Elizarge I am a married man who was just diagnosed. The first time I met my wife was literally me trying to make her feel better about tripping by doing the socially wrong thing. I'm married in spite of my Autism, and being married rules nothing out.
I’m not sure it would change anything if you had a diagnosis. Is there any treatment or help that you could take advantage of? What would change for you?
@@kkdoc7864 nothing really
I'm 50, I've been battling myself my whole life: things that just seem so simple, and should be, that are nigh impossible for me to do or get done, problems I've had my whole life with interacting with other people. Yet I've held jobs even though it was very tough for me as I always had to take long rests after work just to be able to wind down and continue, I thought of myself as lazy and that I shouldn't whine about it. I have always had trouble keeping my home "functional".
Only this year I've been diagnosed with autism and the more that starts to sink in and hit home, the more angry I become about how I've "punished" myself for being different and "lazy" all these years.
Same with me, 51 and diagnosed dec1st. I’m now trying to forgive myself for all sorts of things. I’ve held down jobs in manufacturing for Mitsubishi then changed to IT in rigid help desk conditions to level 3 support that’s less stressful except when something breaks
You're not lazy. You're heroic. Truly.
Stay strong. Life is a journey.
Wow, that was like reading about myself. Turning 46 this year; my assessment is in three days.
@@jasonbourne4865 I'm researching for a psychologist now. One of the companies said their assessment will consist of 2 one hour sessions. Is this normal? It seems like a short amount of time to get to know the person. How long will your assessment be Jason?
Good video, particularly the recognition of the fact that almost all adults with autism will have learned masking and coping strategies and therefore their autism will not be so immediately evident. For example autistic adults will generally try to make eye contact and hold conversations; the evidence often comes from the fact that they find these things more demanding and generally don't do them so well or fluently rather than they don't do them at all. Social interaction is in many ways like a foreign language and an autistic adult is like someone who can speak that language but not fluently, making themselves understood to some degree but also making errors which show their status as an outsider; too many clinicians expect them to be like the person who can't speak the language at all or only know a few words.
that's kinda how I was told I was psudo autistic. Because I could make eye contact at times, and just plain masked.
7
I can hold a conversation for a couple of minutes but I eventually hit a brick wall and start looking down and not responding much after that. The entire time I'm trying to predict how much I have to say before I can go and be by myself.
I love your description!
I'm just now coming to the realization that I'm on the spectrum, after bugging my son for 10 years to get assessed because it seemed obvious that he was on the spectrum. After his diagnosis, my kids started bugging me about me being on the spectrum as well. I ignored them because I was also dealing with CPTSD, which has overlapping symptoms. But after treating the CPTSD, which I did like a boss, by the way, because I hyper-focused on it lol, I'm still processing the same way. I just don't have anxiety or hyper-vigilance. So yeah, I probably am autistic, but I don't know why I should get diagnosed. What difference does a diagnosis make at this point? I'm in my 50's.
I have told one person that I am near certain I am autistic and almost instantly regretted it. Speaking for myself, most of the people around me have no idea what that is and have a distorted take on it. My friendship with this person will certainly suffer as a result. As happy as I am to now understand and finally have something to explain how hard my life has been and still is, I am going to take it slow discussing this with people. I only comment this so others will not be blindsided and hurt by others ignorance.
My parents would get angry at me for eye contact being almost impossible for me, I never even realized it could mean something other than me being weird. I have had to learn many coping mechanisms to fit in, I have never been diagnosed but the more I look at it the more it seems relevant to me
I remember hearing 'Look at me when I'm talking to you!' so many times.
Same situation here. Always had people commenting on how I never looked them in the eyes when speaking, never in a really negative way though, more so them being curious. I really wish that there were more resources for undiagnosed adults; having to learn coping mechanism on your own is frustratingly difficult, and stunts social growth if done improperly, at least in my personal experience.
I’m going to a GP to hopefully get a referral but I’m terrified of not being taken seriously by whoever tests me, it’s hard when you’re an adult and had everything brushed under the rug when you were a child as just being “quirky” or “different”
Ikr
yes, your right. I am 53 yrs old, back in the day growing up, they just labeled you as slow,dumb,lazy......but if they only knew, what WE ALL are capable of doing, in our daily,everday lives!
i'm in the exact same boat here..... but i'm also struggling and having a hard time and i feel like possibly having a diagnosis could give me the sort of help i need idk what to do anymore but i feel like i'm drowning.
100% get it. I am so afraid to go to a psychologist that isn’t used to someone like me or an adult woman diagnosis assessment. Because if somebody says to me what everyone else has been saying. Stuff like oh that isn’t unusual there’s lots of people who feel that way. Oh yeah so I have to live the rest of my life not understanding myself.
I feel the exact same way. I’m nervous too
Great video!:) I am an adult on the Autism Spectrum:) Asperger’s Syndrome is what I have:) I agree adults tend to mask their behaviors more. It’s deeply concerning because the diagnosis is still there. But the resources aren’t for those whom assume one isn’t autistic when they are just masking. Reading comprehension is an area where for some it can be a hint it ties in with language development:) A lot of adults are masking their autism, but still behaving in a way that is unnatural to them. They have to work 3-4x times harder which leaves them drained at the end of the day or anxious and depressed.
This totally sums me up. Thanks for posting this comment. I have paid for an assessment, it was online today and I feel that the assessor was missing out on someof the issues I have, and because I nodded in agreement to something she said, she was like "see, you nodded." We hadn't even finished the assessment, where the questions of my early years have not been answered by my parents yet, and she basically said, you are not autistic and basically prepare yourself to be told that.
Autism can not be reversed. It’s the same as saying someone whom is gay can be converted. Your brain wiring is what you are born with. Autistic thinking is deep in the cells and brain structure. Herbs and different cognitive therapy supports systems can relive anxiety and depression associated with the lack of acceptance for people with Autism. Also normal define that:) Neurodiversity aka Autism is a beautiful thing:) If I didn’t have Asperger’s the milder end of the spectrum. I wouldn’t be talented with thinking outside the box and predicting a logic solution to a visual problem. I wouldn’t see the amazing details that others don’t pick up on:) Autism can be a gift too:) I would see my life as very boring if I was not who I am and being on the Autism Spectrum is part of that:) Bill Gates, Mozart, Elon Musk & Michelangelo are some whom have Asperger’s Syndrome which is on the Autism Spectrum:) Those whom think there’s a cure for Autism is like saying you can cure a gay person. Or change the color of your hair. Non verbal autistic individuals some even use computers to talk. It’s shows them pictures and they select from the photos to write sentences:) It’s still unknown why some of us don’t speak. Maybe they never learned lip movements. Since the sensory input they received is on a different frequency. So they get distracted by the bright lights and sounds. Which creates a white noise pitch. So they would not be able to focus on lip movements. So they don’t speak, but they do have thoughts like everyone else. People whom are not Autistic tend to lie more and be more dishonest. Non autistic people tend have lower levels of thinking logically. They tend to judge more and fall to peer pressure. It’s pretty sad to see non autistics have their set of challenges too. Autistic are less likely to do drugs and be addicted. Hope you have a good day though:)
If one thinks that being gay or transgender can be cured or is wrong then that’s a whole different discussion. How to combat homophobic hate. The brain set up and hormone levels can be balanced more to being the opposite gender. Both being Autistic & being LGBTQ is common to have simultaneously:) Again we are less pressured to go by society’s standards and be who we are:) Our differences are greater but acceptance not cure it’s key:)
@@artisticendeavorsemmorris.3165 “autism is a beautiful thing”
You mean that disorder that causes 80% of its sufferers to not be able to hold a job ? That is beautiful? Or the same disorder that has a shocking high self deletion rate? You think it’s beautiful? Just because a small % can make it work in their life doesn’t make it great or beautiful
I'm 17 years old, and I have an ADHD diagnosis. However, recently I have noticed other symptoms that I suspect may warrant an autism diagnosis. I have always been very unaware as to how to change my communication style to fit my social settings. I have always found talking to adults easier than other children because they have generally catered to my desire to talk about a certain thing or they have met my formal conversational style. I seem to have a mild cognitive rigidity in that regard. The older I have gotten, and the more I realized I was supposed to be socializing with children my age, the more I have reverted to isolation. Unconsciously, I avoid social situations in which group socialization is required because I fail to navigate them quite frequently, even when I have similar interests and a similar temperament to that of my peers. I constantly create plans, like pathways through my day, down to minute detail; when something is thrown in my plan, such as a spontaneous (within about three hours) change or interruption, I will either shut down or throw what seems to be a mature temper tantrum (screaming and crying out of frustration, not communicating effectively out of frustration) even if I was planning on not doing anything for that day. A good example of this is how I would wake up late for school, and then decide that I couldn't go because I wouldn't make it on time. I also have hypersensitivity/hyposensitivity to sound depending on random circumstances. I sometimes freak out/cry/scream/thrash around when feeling sensory overload, and at the same time I feel like the only way to soothe this is through further stimulating my senses in a different way (hitting myself in the forehead, screaming, throwing things) to feel release or I just cry until the feeling goes away. I don't know what would change if I did get a diagnosis, but I just want to know why this is happening.
@Nathan This is definitely something I've considered that has made me question if I even want to seek out a diagnosis. I am obviously frustrated with these experiences. I want to be able to overcome the hardships they cause, however I've found (in therapeutic settings and otherwise) that when I'm given solutions to these issues, solutions which don't involve autistic contextualization, they are often unhelpful. In fact, your statement, "this has to serve as a base for a plan, not as an excuse to impose more limitation", is often communicated to me (though I understand it's not what you meant when writing out this quote) as a means of minimizing my symptoms and actual lived experiences of having certain limitations. It's often delivered as an issue of tolerance to exerting effort in a vacuum (or as an isolated occurrence), except I'm perfectly capable of exerting effort in effort's sake. This contextualization, this validity, is mainly what I believe would be the most helpful result of an autism diagnosis. There are certain things that, if I want to be able to function properly for extended periods of time, I am genuinely unable to do, as they impose great amounts of stress onto me which leads to psychological burnout. I've come to understand that certain accommodations to daily living situations, such as sitting in a classroom, may need to be made in order for me to avoid exerting compensational amounts of effort for me to be on the same page as a neurotypical individual in the same situation. My claim essentially is that I'm able to produce the same results, maybe even superior results, from my efforts, but the conditions in which I am exerting effort can not be the same as neurotypical's in order to achieve those results. I have tested this theory, constantly trying to push myself to work under the conditions of a non-autistic person because I didn't want to admit to any sort of limitations (fearing this would also be admitting I was inadequate or a failure), but this has only led to severe burnouts over and over again. I can't agree that the validation of an autism diagnosis would increase these patterns, as most of these burnouts have occurred under an ignorance to the actual diversity of autism symptoms and their true impact on different individuals. In fact, I believe that the validity from this diagnosis would allow for access to more specialized treatments which would address my limitations, in order to develop skills to work around them. In this sense, the "why" is a vital point in my treatment.
Also I want to just say that your English is excellent (in regard to your extended vocabulary and your displayed understanding of English grammar), so no need to apologize. It just seems you have a few consistent grammatical errors that just happen to stick out in English more so than, say, errors which are more frequent among native speaking populations. As someone who is trying to learn Polish, I am very aware of how difficult it is to perfect different languages' grammar, especially because it forced me to understand English to a deeper level, and that made me realize that English is one of the most inconsistent and incomprehensible methods of communication, so I don't blame you or misunderstand you for these errors. In fact, by reading your message, I believe the way your language grammatically structures sentences conveys your message much clearer, so don't worry too much about being judged by English speakers for it. It is often the case anyway that those individuals are monolingual and aren't able to comprehend that it is actually most often the syntax of *their* language that is hard to follow when communicating.
I'm sorry about the little language rant. I find linguistics very fascinating.
@Nathan I understand what you mean. I never thought your original response didn’t have merit. I believe that a priority autistic people need to focus on in life is figuring out how to do things in a world that was built to cater to people who are different from them. Even if I don’t have autism, I still need to figure out how to work to care for myself and manage myself so that I can function consistently in life, so your message wasn’t without truth. I also understand how unpleasant emotions can lead to that desire to overcompensate. I believe that if you set some time aside for creativity, you can figure out exactly what is troubling you and the best method to prevent burnouts and prolonged unhappiness. You don’t need to validate yourself through external approval; other people’s opinion of you is not as important as the path to recovery from mental anguish. It is a journey, one that is best cultivated in time. You don’t need to set unrealistic expectations and beat yourself up about not living up to them. You can only solve your problems one situation at a time. Don’t try to rush yourself into being the person you’re becoming; it only lengthens the process.
"(Even) when I _______ ; I accept myself fully and completely". Fill in the blank with ANYTHING.... blink, breathe, cry, shut down, stim, laugh, etc... literally any word. [From Matt Kahn All For Love Angel Academy 13]
By the time the spectrum was established I was graduating high school...but I'm fortunate enough that when I did get tested at 24 I met the cut-off and finally received a diagnosis of Autism.
Hi Ashleigh what steps did you take?
I’m actually afraid to go and look for a diagnosis in case they say no no it’s not autism and then I have to get used to the idea that I’m just a freak.
This made me laugh. I’m going for my evaluation in a couple weeks. If they say no then oh well.
This is one of my biggest fears...
Yep, if the diagnosis is not positive, it would just mean I am clumsy and bad at so many things that I should be able to do.
Having the same thoughts
I always thought I was unique and special and even if I did have autism I would still consider myself as such but now with a community. Normal is boring, why would you ever want to be that?!
I don’t maintain eye contact almost at all. I didn’t even know I was doing this till I asked someone to critique me in a speaking assignment i had. He said, “you never looked at me once.” And I’ve noticed ever since that I don’t have eye contact with people. I’m listening to their words. At the same time, I was beaten the hell out of by my mom’s boyfriend when I was kid for 6-7 years. And he’d hit me more when I looked at him in defiance. That started when I was 7-8 years old, till mid teens, ~ 14.
At any case, I’m socially awkward. I say things that shouldn’t be said. I tend to speak on facts, data, philosophical topics. I don’t understand feelings or emotions. Im actually studying phenomenology to understand the structure of emotions, because introspective psychology and living or experiencing emotions doesn’t work and is foolish to me. I see emotions as dangerous and chaotic.
Idk that I have quirky motor movements. I adjust my shoulders a lot and stretch my neck, but I go to the gym a lot and have shoulder issue and tight traps.
I know that I come at a wall or stall when I’m called to make a change in my life. I go silent and can’t give a reason to not want to make a move. So I say, “I need to think about it.” But my thinking about anything is to go through every detail before coming to a conclusion.
Small talk is annoying to me. I’m reflecting and I try to steer dialogue to philosophical topics. But mostly I don’t really talk to anyone.
I’m also an INTJ of which explains a lot of how I am, almost to a T.
Idk. I’ll get it checked out.
I want to add that for me when it comes to eye contact, I can do it Fairley well cuz I stare at the iris of the person's eye but the black pupil elicits panic. So if at anytime I look at someone in the eye I'm looking at their iris and mentally noting the webbing and color scheme but the second that black pupil is in my direct view I panic and look away. I also look at the whites of their eyes and eyelashes and general shape of their eye. I have to consciously look away every few seconds so it doesn't seem like I'm staring. I also many times take off my glasses to look at people in the eye so they think I'm looking them in the eye but really their face is so super blurry I can look at the blurry dark area where their eyes are and not feel panic on my end and they feel comfortable on their end and also make sure not to stare cuz I can't see their face too well and instinctively I try to focus my eyes to make out features so I look away to the left or right by turning my head so it doesn't look like I'm staring. I also sometimes stare at hairline or mouths or the eyebrows or bridges of noses or if they have glasses I stare at the frames. This is just how I've been able to camouflage "eye contact" to seem normal.
22:08 to 22:31 You put that explanation of why some seek a diagnosis really well.
i’m getting assessed in 10 days. i’m nervous. i’ve never been validated for what i feel and always told i’m too sensitive or don’t know what i’m talking about.
Good luck in your assessment. Just be honest with the person diagnosing you. Let them know you're nervous and why. If you have any concerns, like that you're masking some of your traits and are afraid they'll miss them, tell them. If you have language or labels you prefer, tell them. While there are plenty of bad diagnosis stories out there, I assume you have no reason to believe the person you're working with won't be respectful or know how to diagnose you. Remember, even if you don't get the diagnosis you're expecting, this isn't the end of your journey.
From my perspective, "neuurotypical" people are just perpetuating cruelty against divergent people by making the testing and assessment so difficult let alone the crushing disappointment of being told no, nope, sorry you don't fit. Normals take everything from us, even our souls. I've played the role of normal for so long I don't even know who I am. I'm a brilliant method actor, but that's all I am now, an actor with a part. Make it a little easier for us. Ok? We're wounded. We're frustrated. We're confused. We're tired. We're angry. And once again you hold all the cards.
I agree. It's rather wierd to feel you have to squeeze into someone else's definition of "a disorder", and actually what's the benefit? Eschewing normality and developing your own alternative story-line is what's builds your life (back).
The reason diagnosis of disorder is important is not obtaining a label in itself, more so it is helpful for "normals" too understand and find treatments/care for said "not normals". It is the reason why I went from not speaking until 5 and predicted too heavily struggle in life too being relatively stable and fluent with some aspects of communication, it gave me the building blocks I needed along with the harshness of life itself, my job, and past relationships.
Agreed. I'm watching this and I'm cringing at every time she talks about needing other people's perspectives. It's like my therapist said, "They basically try to see how annoying we are to neurotypicals." The truth is, I know my struggles WELL. I'm NOT a child. I don't need my mommy to tell you I have struggles... I hide that stuff from others.
I am a loner because most neurotypical people are exhausting to be around, whether or not I am on the spectrum. And I have been the target of quite a bit of cruelty, which has led to me responding with aggression or cruelty of my own. So I relate to how you feel on a personal level. I for the most part keep my struggles to myself, I owe nobody any apologies of explanations for who abd what I am, and neither do you.
❤️ Everything is this way.
It sounds like me at work. :-( I work in a packing department in a hardware supply warehouse, and I have latched onto the basics of the job quickly enough. However, there are a certain questions in particular, simple things that I've had to ask others several times before the information sank in, and I've over heard a few people mention their annoyance on my asking about those simple things. 🙄 Which leads me to feel extremely drained at the end of the day, with guilt and wracked nerves, and I don't even want to eat during lunch break, and I also find that I have an upset stomach each day now, I barely eat ever since starting my new job. I'm overly stressed about making mistakes, so I double and even triple check my weights on my scale /packages, even when I see the correct numbers the first time. I really do like my job because for the most part, I work alone and don't need to really be interacting with others aside for a few times a day. I enjoy the repetitive nature and organization requirements. At 41 years old, I feel like I can relate wholeheartedly to the general symptoms. It's very frustrating to me because I'm not sure where to go from here.
I've always found it so much easier to express myself through writing, better than speaking to others in person. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I've recently gotten better with forcing eye contact, but in a natural way, with everyone that I speak to.
*sigh* I just needed to vent. 😞 Good luck to everyone here.
What annoys me about my work is colleagues always insist on giving the brief over the phone. So during the call I have to write down notes (basically writing what they're saying) while also listening and contributing. Then they ask if I got everything as though what they said is clear. First I didn't even have time to think about what they're saying because I'm typing, also if they know exactly what they want why not just write it as a list and note down any points that are flexible.
THIS
She makes it sound like it's so easy to get an assessment. I talked to both my psychiatrist and therapist about believing I am autistic and while they didn't dismiss me outright both asked why I would want it because it wouldn't change treatment and that they would have to send me to someone else for it and neither gave me a referral
I am a transman 25 years. No regrets. 3 PhD's cleared me for transition and ten surgeries... I had family support to make it though...53 now. Went in for an ASD assessment when all my supports 4 died within 4 years. I still had my letters from Harry Benjamin standards showing I was competent for surgery. One visit to a PCP for an autism assessment and I was told the 3 PhD's were wrong, I wasn't competent to judge if my surgeries were a success or not and it was documented an Axis II deferred. Be careful... The medical professionals out there ARE NOT going by the DSM V but go by III and IV... I did get a formal ASD diagnosis but it was ultra expensive... What family I have left helped with that, interviewed ect. I am getting services now to help me manage ADL's. A formal diagnosis is not a one day test. It is comprehensive and months to complete by neuro psyche. A short term one day test is a good place to start though.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t begin to imagine how it felt being shoved around by the system like that.
Whatever 🙄
You are a truly brave soul.I wish you joy.
Any medical professional still using DSM-IV (or earlier) labels or criteria (assuming they are in a country that primarily uses the DSM as a diagnostic guide) shouldn't be seeing patients. The DSM-5 is almost 10 years old now. I think a lot of so-called professionals that still use labels, like AS or PDD-NOS, use them because they want to cater to adults or caregivers who fear the autism label and want to be told they or their loved ones have autism lite. That ship sailed in 2013. You're either autistic or you're not, and that's the way it should be. I'm sorry you had to deal with such ignorance while trying to find a proper diagnostician.
As a 58 year old woman of Caribbean ancestry, a formal diagnosis at this point would do nothing to enhance my life. So, I won't be going that route.
Sadly to say, the only reason I’d even want diagnosis, is for family and the few friends I have to see the validation and take me seriously on it. Growing up in a highly religious and conservative family, it was always the explanation that I was weird or acting out and seemingly no one ever considered autism. I even ignored it myself for close to a decade until around three years ago. That’s when I actually considered it possible and read into it, and every thing made sense suddenly, but I still lack diagnosis and validation. Maybe I’m wrong to care what others think, but I feel it would mean a lot to me to have that acceptance by those who are close.
Wow. That is so me. I recently have been diagnosed with autism by a consultant psychiatrist at age 55. the best outcome of the diagnosis is that it allows me explain to my parents and sibling that I love them so much but I find being around them for more than a couple of hours very taxing. It’s not that I don’t love them, it’s just I need to retreat and be alone. I would go for a diagnosis for this reason alone. I wish you luck
As a professional working with ages 18-22, this was invaluable. thank you!!
excellent presentation .. hopefully doctors in the psychiatric fields learn this stuff cuz there's still too many that don't realize there's a SPECTRUM and many people go through life undiagnosed. Thank you!
Well said! 👏 👏 👏 (clapping)
This information has been so helpful so thank you! I was considering a formal diagnosis after learning that I might be on the spectrum but now, after listening to this, I can see that in my case, it would do very little to benefit my situation. It was my wife’s psychologist who suspected it and after researching, taking many assessments and tracing my struggles with so many areas all the way back to childhood, I have no doubt. It all makes so much sense now. Thank you👍
Same here. You have a good wife. Not me whew
I really want to come forward and tell the higher ups at my new job that I'm having these issues, and am just beginning to look into this possibility for the first time. But I've been putting it off already for a few days. I keep on telling myself that when the weekend passes, and I go back on Monday that I'll be ready to talk about the issue with someone. I am actually very nervous that I will mess things up, as I'm not used to being in the spotlight in that way with people who I barely know, and who barely know me, also.
I wouldn’t… do so when you have a piece of paper and a list of recommendations for accommodation. Otherwise, they won’t know what to do with that info and just make assumptions.
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was a child back in the 80's. I severely believe I was misdiagnosed as because now I am in my 40's, I display amny autistic characteristics that I just thought were associated as adhd...but it feels different. Biggest issue for me as always..has been eye contact. It was always bad. Everyone always said 'you dont look into the eyes. I have an eye rolling problem and people take offense to that. I have not looked one single customer in their eyes at the job I have worked at for the past 7 years.
I'm Autistic, I can make eye contact unless your trained in eye contact you'll probably never tell what I'm doing as it looks usual. Inside I am performing prompting myself to make eye contact to monitor length directions, look away when appropriate etc. I'm good I do slip up esp. when I'm talking as it's hard to thinki about what your eyes are doing when your thinking out what you want to say.
I'm 43. I was taught in high school how to shake hands and have eye contact for job interviews. I spend lots of time focusing on bridge if someone's nose I forget what they are saying. I've stop giving hand shakes and rather a hug because so often I was told my grip was too intense. Constant struggle because not everyone wants to be touched but I don't know how else to feel connected to them when just getting to know them.
I've always forced eye contact, and I've recently made a concerted effort to unmask. If I need to avert my eyes during a conversation, even just temporarily, I do it. It's not easy to unlearn to mask after a lifetime of doing so, but it is essential.
I'm 52, live alone n am struggling more n more as I get older. I have never been diagnosed but I can clearly see that it's taken a toll on quality of life.
Im looking forward for getting assessed...i think i would be more confortable with trying to make some autistic online friends and even meet someone in my area. I dont deal well with most "normal" people.
I do need to perhaps take a speech class cause I can improve on small talk. Most of the symptoms I know I have. It was a point in time when I did struggle with eye contact
What I wouldn't give to talk with Dr. Bal in a clinical setting - unlikely to happen, but my wheels are spinning - In my lifetime: Family members have been clinically diagnosed with: Schizophrenia, Bipolar, PTSD, ADHD to both of my own children with ASD... Then I really wonder about genetics... My way of connecting dots so no harm.
My Xmas tree is still up… VALENTINES DAY is in 2 Days! (I can’t get out of my own way & I’m definitely gonna be late to my own funeral.)
I didn't know I had Aspergers when I was in school. I'm getting a diagnosis
I was rediagnosed today with autism plus my previous adhd diagnosis minus medication for it. It has been quite wye opening to say the least when it comes to my emotions and my behavior.
Diagnosed at 48 and people laugh at me when I tell them. They think it's a joke or something. So I just don't tell anyone anymore.
I understand why you wouldn't tell people, but laughing might be a sign that they don't get it. It's not your job to educate the world but it might benefit you to tell the people closest to you how you feel about it so they can show up better, for you.
@@aaaDaria thank you!
I encounter so many professionals making it a point to ask why I want a diagnosis😳 like seriously? I don’t give a single fuck about any support system made by the government....but holy fuck, as a professional, you DONT believe that there’s a benefit to EVERYONE understanding their own brains!?!?!?
I'm trying to get diagnosed with Autism and I tried watching this to properly inform myself in the meantime I ended up picking at my face and nose to stim and calm myself and now I'm bleeding 😭 I'm so upset I can't just watch a video. It's a very informative good video and I will try to finish because I need to.
@@bolinhong2598 I don't know where to begin with how wrong that comment is
Thank you for recording and posting this interesting educational video. I am an adult child of someone who had undiagnosed autism and feel "under the influence of autism" whether I am on the spectrum of autism or not and trying to figure out what portions are "nature vs nurture".
Thanks so much for tuning in. We're so glad you found it helpful. ♥
I'm so sad that society doesn't understand how much we are missing by not individualising for all people so they can achieve at their best.
Strongly recommend the book "Neurotribes - the legacy of autism" as an overview of how much autistic people have contributed to our society.
Very clear and helpful. Thank you.
Remember... maintain the professionalism of your peers. This is very important work. Thank you. We take a lot of abuse out here when we go to the wrong person and some professions are governed poorly. And now we have a people shortage so it's about to get worse.
I really like the approach you’re taking. It’s a very complex topic
I've forgiven myself at age 52. Countless misunderstandings in past communities now make sense. My Pollyanna-like heart makes me special.
I am hopeful. The more self aware Katie will model my own journey for others to learn new languages, cultures, and nurture friendship opportunities around the world. 🌏
“autistic adult” and “adult with autism” seem like a distinction without a difference. is there something i’m missing?
Thank you for uploading this video!
This is an amazing presentation with so many helpful explanations, outlines, and encouragements. Thank you for this.
Thank you so much for watching! We appreciate the feedback.
This was helpful to listen to. I appreciate your level of knowledge and dedication to this community 🙏
Thanks so much for tuning in! We're glad you found it helpful.
1.25 speed if you don't want to lose your mind 😉😅
Thank you for significantly improving my life
1.50 if you're desperate 😂
I was trying so hard to pay attention and I’m sure this didn’t bother a lot people but every other word was “Um” I couldn’t follow the material 🙁
I want to be a spokesperson once I share my story. It was really difficult getting my point across. Impaired social skills.
It's hard to say if there's anything wrong with me. After losing my job in October of 2016 I stopped leaving the house. I live with my dad and brother but they don't know how to help so they just leave me be. It's been been more than 5 years since I've had any real human contact. It's starting to feel weird now.
Hang in there Tina, sorry to hear the job. I am just here at home with my family. My surroundings feel unfamiliar each day, I feel the weirdness over here.
The attitude towards adult autists in public healthcare in my country (Finland) is terrible. The doctors think that masking and camouflaging means that you have adapted (”cured” of autism) and you are ok, and you don’t need a diagnosis or any help because you don’t have any real problems. The reason is ignorance (”only children can be autists” but they grow up, don’t they?) and also the need to cut costs. So you must go to the private doctors and clinics to be diagnosed and it is very expensive… but I needed the diagnosis, so I am now to be assessed in a private clinic and it seems that I have both ASD and ADHD.
The asessment costs 400 eur in Portugal. Plus i might get my insurance to cover part of it. Lets see...seeing US prices i think its very cheap. But i know in Scandinavian countries the salaries are high but the prices are too.
That is true if you have no family members or any acquaintance close to you. Because then you are the one telling doctor that you’re autistic. It’s kind of fucked up moment. Because if you are autistic just doing it on your own is difficult. That said autistic person definitely needs a care taker, the government
Thanks for posting your presentation! It was very informative!
Glad you enjoyed it!
It would be good to understand how one might afford a comprehensive assessment. The autism diagnosis is notably intricate, complex and has many subtle and varied dimensions which will have treatment implications, but one has to "get them in the door" to begin with! If the path is too costly (hours x expertise x institution = $$$), it's hard to get people through the process. If it is too in-depth, the experience may be too confrontational. If the intention behind questions and evaluation tools is not obvious, there may be too little trust, or the ability to respond with a single, logical answer is difficult to connect with. These issues, among others, may suggest an iterative process of evaluation will be more useful over time than to attempt an exact diagnosis during the initial steps. This needs to be easier, up front, and over time the other aspects of the area can be developed.
The AQ test exists… as do others. They have their drawbacks when they’re testing for something subtle with many presentations.
If you can develop a short, unintrusive, foolproof, sensitive test for autism then you’ll be doing the world a lot of good.
The same applies for literally every medical field - you’ve basically described the holy grail of every diagnostic process.
Failing that: Socialism?
Was told the best they could give me was a diagnostic impression as someone had to witness traits in childhood--but all my family is either dead or out of the picture
The whole concept of masking makes so much sense!!
It's only adults who are AuDHD or ASD who read, watch videos, and talk about eye contact difficulties
I mean think about it for a minute. In all honesty I can't have a Conversation and look into someone's eyes at the same time. It's too much, i can't find my words but I also feel like I'm bring intruded upon or the other person thinks I'm weird for looking in the wrong way.
I remember trying hard In my younger years, but I would end up staring for too long.
There Is also an almost mute expression I have. People think I'm sad because I don't smile so much. And having photographs taken I hate hate hate.
I even don't know what my natural laugh is. I was always in awe of people who could laugh or smile naturally.
I prefer to spend alot of time alone, or 121.
I've also heard lots of adults with asd feeling like an alien since childhood
During conversations i tend to look at peoples mouths. I need the sound and movement of the lips to fully focus and understand. Although i learned to mask this to the max. My ex fiancé kept asking me if i was nervous on the first date because i couldnt look him the eyes...
Really appreciate this talk!
Thanks so much for tuning in!
What I want to know how to see another doctor so that I can find out if in fact I do have adult autism. I’m 51. I’m in Southern Calif.
I do see a difference between masking and coping. Coping strategies are focused on effectively dealing with the situations in which one finds oneself, not on looking "normal" (masking), or avoiding negative attention (camouflaging).
Thank you for this video. So many interesting and positive points.
We're glad to hear that you liked it! Thank you for watching!
Help where do I go to get a free assessment without cost in Ontario Canada?
I’m trying to get one let me know if you hear anything
How would an adult know that they need testing and what reason would they choose not to be tested if they suspect they're struggling with something unknown and undiagnosed to them?
These questions are confusing - nobody ‘needs’ a diagnosis of anything in and of itself. Why would you seek clarification of anything unless there was something you were curious about or something was bothering you?
Similarly, there are any number of reasons someone would choose not to perform a test, from being happy with their current level of self-knowledge to financial reasons or a crippling fear of being pathologised or stigmatised.
They seem like oddly trivial things to ask - is something not coming across, like this is a request for advice, rather than clarification?
There are multiple reasons autistics seek diagnosis. Validation. To know themselves. For future treatment or services. To reconnect with family. For employment accommodations. To label what they feel inside, ie to know they’re not crazy. NT’s generally don’t understand and say ableist things. Do what You feel is appropriate.
I was really enjoying the information it is very informative but unfortunately I got fixated on the amount of times that you say um and uh and then all of sudden I couldn't hear anything else other than the ums and the uhs and I'm clenching my teeth and had to pause it..?! And I don't say this to sound mean or rude I actually was curious if that is a symptom of autism because I have been thinking about being tested since my 14 year old twins were diagnosed 1 ASD and the other ADHD and now learning more about both I think that both describe me?! 🤔 Yicks! Haha
Very dry, but a very good detailed overview and with minimal USA centric thinking and even 3 years old seems to be still up to date as far as I can tell as an amateur.
My mind enjoys the objective, dry approach. Yes, this could apply to any country. Im in Europe
To the organizers: Ask for people to send in more questions and then ask for almost culpabilisizing comprehension that only view question can be taken...
Great presentation
Your presentation is wonderfully informative and comprehensible. I was distracted though with your repeated use of ‘Um’. Thank you.
Hi Nancy. Thank you so much for tuning in and we appreciate the feedback.
Dr Vanessa Bal - I wish you were near me!! Does anyone happen to know of a nice support group or counselor in the SW MO area?
I’m also in the SW MO area, and will hopefully be getting an assessment although I have done hundreds of hours of research and I fit all of the diagnostic criteria. I’ve been interested in finding a support group or something for autistic adults but it seems everything locally is geared towards parents/autistic children. If you find one, I would also be very interested.
Thanks❤
Can you do a presentation on how an autistic spouse can improve in a relationship? Most of the info out there involves the NT partner adjusting, accommodating, understanding, acquiescing to the ASD partner & suggests getting help elsewhere. I have done so much that I have lost myself & I am still dealing with a hostile individual. I can never get it right & I can not be myself (can not be spontaneous, cannot brainstorm & spitball ideas). Bad behavior should never be accepted, but what specific help can he get? We are having trouble finding an autism coach.
There’s something askew about looking at autism resources for help with your non-autistic sense of self.
I could be wrong that this is the problem, but fortunately there are plenty of resources for neurotypical people about developing and communicating boundaries and building a sense of self.
Maybe there’s room to look to self-care, rather than seeking a solution in your partner’s identity?
Hostility is a big issue, but you describing fulfilling your partner’s needs as ‘acquiescing’ sounds major alarm bells in my mind, and would in any relationship.
Why are you partnered with someone whose needs require you to ‘acquiesce’, rather than caring about their wellbeing and shared experience? Humans compromise, particularly with people they care about - but that starts with being healthy enough to know yourself and what is safe and appropriate for you. Resenting someone for who they are is unfair on everyone involved.
Needs are needs - be they yours or your partner’s or anybody’s. If you feel like you’re fighting things someone else has no control over needing, or you don’t really believe it’s necessary or appropriate or something you can do safely then that is the source of the problem, not the needs themselves.
I’m unsure whether that is close to what’s bothering you, but it’s meant in the spirit of being constructive. Interpersonal things can be challenging for everyone, and you deserve good advice and to feel valued and sustained by life.
I hope things are manageable, and I’m sorry for your struggles.
Great and informative video :)
My Name Is Christopher Jeffery. I Am 38 Years Old, I Was Diagnosed With Autism and Asperger's At Aged 13 In 1997. My Question Is Do Mothers With Anorexia Nervosa Have Children Born With Autism and Asperger's Syndrome. Reason Why I Am Asking Is Because I Have Autism and Asperger's Syndrome and My Mother In Her Teens, 20's and 30's Had Anorexia Nervosa. According To A Recent Study By The Spectrum News Organization It Said It Was 80 Percent True and They Think All Mothers With Anorexia Have Children With Autism & Asperger Syndrome
I never heard about this. At what age did your mom had you if i may ask? My mom had me at 35 and i suspect being older might correlate with autism. Im Vania, 34 yo. I need to research and read more. Im very new to all of this but my psychologist referred me to get evaluated as i ranked high on the basic asd questionnaires. Thanks
Look for violent behaviors, i am 49 and can mask for my workday however it is taxing and when N/Ts get on my nerves and treat me badly things go bad fast. We get sick of masking because the rest of the world is psychotic. I am personally sick of people and could care less whether they understand or not, i will teach them.
I don't consider my ASD a disability, I'm just different.
The trouble is, most people consider you defective mentally or of defective character, and treat you as such. I know all too well how anyone outside the norm is harshly and incorrectly judged by "neurotypicals."
There's an important conversation to be had regarding the disability label. I choose to label myself disabled simply because I don't live in a world that is optimized for or accommodating to me or others with my neurotype. Because I face those systemic barriers, I am disabled. If we ever achieve a world that fully accepts, includes and accommodates autistic people, maybe I would change my mind, but we won't see such a world in our lifetimes.
Also, although you didn't use this specific phrase, be very careful of those who use the term "differently abled." They're usually out to minimize the barriers we face and deny us the support or accommodation we need. They're also usually very uncomfortable uttering the word "disabled," which they shouldn't be, because there's nothing wrong with being disabled.
To my understanding there is a difference between being neuro diverse on the spectrum and autism.
How so?
Neurodiverse is a broad category which includes the more narrow autism.
So basically, adults are on their own and if they have to be lucky in finding experienced professionals or groups, otherwise the diagnoatic is useless.
I want to meet others who have Aspergers I haven't personally connected with Autistic people. I'm also active in sports which I know I will face some discrimination. That's ok
I was diagnosed as borderline asperger in graphic design school
Suggest watching videos by Aspie ladies and see if you relate strongly to what they are saying. Most of these ‘doctors’ are ignorant. Just like most of these comments.
I got diagnosed in the UK at age 32 this year (2020). The report didn't make any sense to me, as there was no argument for or against. Literally it was just stating what my mother told them about me to age 5. The assessor didn't even really talk to me, and took my questionnaire results, and pre-prepared questions to provide answers to in writing.
The diagnosis for me is meaningless, as there is no support here - they only diagnose and that's it.
The self-help book I was told to buy was a waste of money, and the whole process was farcical.
My family is not really supporting me with this apart from my mother. I don't understand why other people need to make accommodations or adjustments for me that they would not for others on a normal day.
It's all well this theoretical discussion, but I fail to see what the point was in doing this assessment
I was referred by a mental health professional (Psychologist)
Perhaps you should see this "diagnosis" as an 'opinion'. Labels don't define us unless we want them too! If you are seriously doubtful about your 'diagnosis', why not discuss this with your GP? Perhaps they could even re-refer you for a further opinion.
I was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 67 and it helped explain so much about me.
The assessment was about 3 hours I think but I'd had to fill in a lengthy questionnaire beforehand and this was constantly referred to but extra questions were asked. I found it very interesting and revealing, despite the fact that I obviously didn't know what the outcome would be.
Post diagnosis, I went to one group meeting at the assessment place, which totally overwhelmed me and wasn't helpful. I had expected some more personal help. I've had no other support at all including mental health support but that was partly due to covid.
However the diagnosis has led me to getting as much information as possible from the online autistic community and from Google and TH-cam......so I'm immensely grateful for the assessment but disappointed with any after care.
In my first thorough assessment, I was also not pleased how focused the psychologist was on my parents' feedback. Most of my time was spent taking various tests; the psychologist spent very little time actually talking with me. Fortunately, I'm taking another assessment now with a different provider who didn't even want my parents to come in. I'm the only one giving feedback. It'll be interesting to compare them.
How do I learn as an adult with autism? Curious.
If a parent is diagnosed with ASD is there any medical/legal things that a parent with ASD is required to do?
I score a 41 on the AD and I am sure that I have ASD. I just don’t want to go through with being evaluated if my liberal New England state is going to step in and “help” me parent my children after the fact
Your political views aside, HIPAA rules apply to any diagnosis that you get. No one is going to notify your local, state or federal government that you're autistic, unless you're undergoing some kind of court-ordered evaluation. As for your concerns regarding your parental rights being taken away, the only scenario where that might be a factor is if you have a messy custody battle and your former partner tries to convince the court that being autistic disqualifies you as a parent. While that would be a ridiculous argument and a clear violation of your rights, it's an argument a judge uneducated on autistic people might buy. So, the short answer is, unless you're in the midst of a messy custody battle or undergoing a court-ordered evaluation, getting your diagnosis likely won't have any negative impact or be disclosed to anyone but you.
I myself am an individual diagnosed with ASD. I know all the famous people with Autism . Elon Musk. Albert Einstein to mention a few.
Elon Musk doesn't count. He's never said he identifies as autistic and uses an obsolete functioning label (AS) named after a truly heinous man instead. I've also never seen him advocate for the community in any way; he sees being autistic as a footnote in his biography and something he can joke about on SNL, rather than something integral to who he is. As for Einstein, he was never diagnosed during his life. While it can be fun to speculate who might have been autistic and to see ourselves throughout history, I think the what-dead-celebrity-might-have-been-autistic game gets creepy when it's used to justify our existence.
Dr. Theresa Regan
Mental Disorders affect a lot of people and it's not just Autism. Very important to study the Brain cause everyone have different brain functions.
Autism is not a "mental disorder;" it's a neurotype or, if you want to use a more medical label, a neurological condition.
32:30
I support Autism Speaks but I am 53.
I would have died without their help for services. Don't give up.
Imagine if they spent all their money on providing services, rather than trying to develop a prenatal test and spreading fear, stigma and quackery (like ABA). Please don't support them.
This “research” is being funded by the research subjects. I was told I’d need to pay $2-3000 USD and there were no options for alternate funding for people who couldn’t pay.
This research will be skewed to upper class people who can throw that kind of cash on an unknown entity. It’s appalling that the cost to anyone participating is not stated upfront in a transparent manner.
Hello. This study is fully funded by Simons Foundation (SFARI) and has absolutely zero cost to participants. We are a research study within a non-profit organization (www.SFARI.org) and do not charge participants anything to join or to participate in any portion of the study.
um. Sorry. I can't focus on the content when every tenth word or so is "um"
Agreed, one of the first lessons that should be learnt in public speaking!
Now I can't ignore it!! :P
@@ReiverBlue1971 Sorry, Matt. Hope I didn't spoil it for you.
I want my ASD diagnosis removed. It only has made my life. I don't go by it anymore. It does nothing for me.
Good info but unable to focus through the “um’s”. Couldn’t complete the video. Not trying to be mean, it’s a distraction that I personally cannot tolerate.
Interesting information but it was very hard for me to follow along because of how many times you said umm. Maybe next time you post a video, please be cognizant of saying that so that it’s not so distracting. I mean this in the nicest way because I can’t be the only one who was Distracted.
I don’t want it.
Actually you have been popped up on my list of TH-cam videos!! Neither I or anyone I know of is having “Otism”. It was non existent in my family and no one I know of is suffering from this disease. I also have very little interest in knowing this subject. And I do not contribute for such cause.
Too many “ums” from the commentator it’s a true distraction! Good program otherwise 😚
She was driving me insane. She said umm sooo many times, Jesus Christ. It was very difficult to finish listening to the whole video.
I listen to everything on youtube on 1.75 speed i didnt notice much. But now you mention it i realize. We all have pet peeves. Its okay. For me its mostly if i dont like someone voice. Her voice is okay for me, soft and youthful. Here i can say this. Imagine me in real life evaluating peoples voices. It happened with one of my bosses. I think he was confused if i was hitting on him 😂😂😂
Good job. Your parameters can be used to diagnose almost anyone with any type of emotional problem or disorder/Anxiety as Autistic. These type of bland Generalized videos have convinced my sister in law that every person in her Family has Autism. Especially her 21 yr old Daughter and 16 yr old Son. 2 People that function in society normally and do not have a diagnosis of anything. But apparently its very cool to dismiss your parenting and Homeschooling issues on Autism ( without diagnosis), and try and label and stigmatize/Convince your Children and extended Family that EVERYONE HAS AUTISM AND IS ON THE SPECTRUM.
RIDICULOUS
Everyone has the language delays at 06:36? Everyone is meticulous as in the table at 15:45?
Your definition of ‘everyone’ appears to be faulty.
You’re also totally disregarding the acknowledgement that more research is needed into the markers in adult diagnosis at 10:35?
No, not everyone is on the spectrum by the criteria in the video - don’t assume your misunderstanding of what is being said means what is being said is the problem. Your man is made of straw, whether you intended it to be or not.
You might want to look into that rigid thinking and difficulty managing anger, though. Maybe you *are* on the spectrum - though not for the reasons you suggested. It might also explain your friends, since it is heritable, and neurotypes tend to befriend each other…
Something to think about.
Wow! Angry and accusatory much?
Just because one isn't formally diagnosed and seems to get by doesn't mean they're not autistic. There are plenty of autistic people who mask and who go to school or have careers and families. Why does the possibility of your sister-in-law or her children being autistic upset you?
Please stop saying “um”
BLAH,BLAH.BLAH. wow
16:00 wow i got fired recently after having a meltdown for this exact situation as a app developer