Think about it like you're a scientist. You have a hypothesis, and you're arranging to test that hypothesis. Sometimes the hypothesis is disproven, but that doesn't make you stupid. You're just working towards a significant discovery.
You're not gonna look stupid. I've spent my entire life worrying about what other people think and it's got me nowhere in life apart from being stuck and alone. I was just diagnosed but they stalled me for 25 Years!!!!! I wish I knew all this when I was younger because my life might have been better :( I'm a person who don't talk on the phone and has no friends at all but I did it. I really hope you find the courage to do it., Good luck :)
I'm in the midwest. I have two options if I want to do something like that: deal with autism speaks as an adult that they didn't get to contaminate, or don't do it at all without traveling at least two states over
I had my autism evaluation a few days ago, and get the results in 3-4 weeks 😬 Edit: I’m autistic 😎 Edit 2: thanks to everyone leaving such nice replies, and ableists stay mad cause it’s funny 🥰
@@lyllaphoenix way too many different tests to list here, but a few of them were short memory tests, identifying what certain idioms meant, questionnaires, matching facial expressions to the correct word, and using colored blocks to recreate a picture that was shown on a computer. The whole evaluation lasted just under 3 hours
I know I am autistic. I found out when I was 59. It was suggested by a therapist and after some research I feel she was spot on. I then went to see a psychiatrist who completely knocked me down. Saying things like I can’t be autistic as I am a successful physician. And that of course I suffer from exhaustion and the need to Isolate because of my profession. And that of course I have no friends because I stay home all weekend. I walked out of there and never looked back. The more research I have done, the more sure that I am autistic. I have no interest in seeking a formal diagnosis because I don’t was to be shot down again. I may have a successful career but that doesn’t diminish the real struggles I have had my whole life. As I don’t need a formal diagnosis for any medical reason, or need to access disability services, I won’t bother. I am confident in my own assessment, it helps explain so much. It also helps me develop coping strategies. So, I know I am autistic and I don’t need anyone to confirm it.
Most doctors use stupid excuses like that to not give you a diagnosis. Autistic people can be super successful, that doesn’t mean you aren’t. You’re valid in your self diagnosis and it’s ok no matter what anyone tells you. I’m glad you know yourself well enough to know :)
Totally agree, and imho the best thing to do is to find a professional that is either an Aspie . And above all, bravissimo for the level of consciousness!
It is ok to make a self assessment, however as you know you can not make a self diagnose. You will need your PCP to do that. You should have a good patient doctor relationship. If this is the case he or she should be able to diagnose autism. Maybe you are satisfied with your self assessment and you don't need to add your autism to your medical history. If you think adding your assessment of autism is important to add to your medical history please get a second opinion.
@@elizabethschreffler9182 They made it incredibly clear that they don't need to get a professional opinion. It won't affect their life in any way, and they are confident in their decision. Re-read what they said lol
Most difficult part of getting a diagnosis is people believing your true feelings once you take off the mask, I finally opened up to how I’ve been feeling recently to a therapist and all I got was “ well everyone does that” the more i talked to her the more i just thought that maybe I’m crazy later looking at videos of other women talking about their problems also getting diagnosed and being misdiagnosed gave me so much comfort
It's common to switch therapist when you don't like something about them. Health professionals are just people and there are ones who aren't good at their job/make an error. Don't take it personally and get a second opinion. And always fight your corner, don't passively accept what any doctor/therapist says if you don't like it. Even if you're ultimately shown why they were right, you still need to push your own agenda first. I speak from experience of doctors not taking the right course of action which would have led to a very bad outcome had I not challenged it and kept up the pressure. Good luck.
Im getting the same response from everyone i talk to about how hard it is to be autistic. The most common one i hear is “well maybe im a little autistic as well”, “everyone has to deal with that”, or “everyone must be autistic”. Its hard to get through to people that the problems autistic people face are the same ones everyone else faces and that its not the situation thats the problem, its the way our brains cope with those problems and that these tiny problems for everyone else are massive exhausting hurdles for us
I REALLY relate to the meltdown part. I’ve never had anyone describe the meltdowns as something less like a temper tantrum and more like actual breakdown of panic before this and that was just another point on my “you’re obviously just making this up”-list. I much more relate to being unable to think of what to do when one’s plan has been disturbed.
Can You give me a little guide on what to write on the list ?I want to make one cuz I’ve been thinking that I might be autistic for a year now & my friend mentioned that he thinks I’m very likely to be cuz of the way I behave ,I guess in my head I act “normal” but others see it differently,So I’m just confused on where to start
I relate to that as well. Yesterday i went to a fitnessstudio and got tested first and 15 minutes after i was supposed to get the result on my phone. When 15 minutes where up and the result was not there i panicked, looked for it every second and cried. Controlled change is fine, when i know at least mostly what happens its fine, but objektively small disturbances get me to cry and scream and ruin my entire day left because i keep beating myself up over how unnecissairily that was.
my autism assessment is in 15 minutes via a video call and i'm watching this to help calm all of my nerves, thank you so much for posting such a friendly and peaceful video!
@@joannabiebs Hey! It was alright, I was just asked about my childhood through video call (it lasted about an hour) and then had to go meet them in person 2 weeks later for part 2 of the assessment, which also took about an hour (The ADOS part). It was a bit nerve wrecking being examined but I tried to be myself and not mask. Edit: Got my results back, I'm autistic.
You should check out Marina Abramovich, shes 70 and looks like she’s 30. No joke. Unfortunately it’s all the BLOOD drinking that keeps her looking that way.
no. she said her daughter was 13 in that year and she was 36 and now she's 41 so that would make the daughter now 18 considering only 5 years has passed
I've felt different my whole life. But when I was a kid, I had no idea what autism even was for a long time. I just figured, "I'm just really unique." Now that I'm older (19), I have been diagnosed with OCD, depression, social anxiety, as well as being an HSP, a highly sensitive person. 20% of the population are highly sensitive people, and a lot of the traits of HSP's overlap with having autism, such as, overstimulation, difficulty processing and understanding emotions, sensitivity to certain textures, flavors, smells, etc. It's hard for me to tell if I might be autistic or if I am just an HSP with OCD and ADHD and social anxiety.
Same diagnoses to all the things you mentioned plus a few more and i feel very hsp and maybe autistic but I don't know as i read facial expressions and understand sarcasm often etc but i interrupt and go on tangents but that would be adhd, ugh
These labels are all just psychology theories. They’re just patterns humans have recognized in particular groups of people. It’s helpful for self understanding but not truly that important. Try not to latch on to these labels as your identity. You know yourself best and will continue to evolve and grow as a person - especially through your 20s as your brain development completes. You are uniquely you; important and special ❤️
@@artbabyjade I agree Jade. We should stop giving labels and treat people as actual individuals. I can't count the amount of times labels has led to social discrimination.
yo my age is 19 aswell and when i act like an idiot and unnatural or even doing something not normal my family say im autism or mild autism and laugh i was doing it for fun and enjoyed it, but my brain said dont worry, dont let others label you, my heart told me, you have autism so what.... ,your family is just judgemental and just a little asshole, cause they laugh at it with no tone of joking. like from their perspective it a bad habit. but my body didnt react they just like meh so now i just act like this cause my soul said many autistic people became big and inspiring and its boring to be same.
Dear Ella, I'm 76 years and on my last legs, so I don't have time to go through all the proper channels. Today is the first day I've done any research at all, and this video is the first one I have watched after reading a few articles on the internet. I can relate to most of what you have said in this video and autism sure answers a lot of questions I've had for a long time. I will subscribe to your channel, and it will be the first time I have subscribed to any channel.
A late ASD diagnosis is fairly common since the resources for early intervention even today still aren’t there. One of the biggest reluctances I had was the thought “I went through elementary, middle, and high school without even hearing about Autism so I must not have it”. That thought I learned was wrong and that I learned to mask until it slipped and I was essentially told off by a coworker who was rude but at least knew the basics of ASD.
@@dambigfoot6844 A problem I have had for many years is that I often hear the words that are spoken to me but I don't respond. Another problem is that I don't remember faces unless I see the person regularly. Many times people think I'm being rude and I never try to explain to the that my memory is faulty. I've only recently considered that it might be autism - " a little autism". But someone said there is no such thing as "a little autism". I did some really heavy drinking in my twenties and stoppled drinking when I was 26. Until recently I've blamed the heavy drinking for brain damage. I had many blackouts when drunk, sometimes lasting for a day or two.. What do you think?
@@AndrashSpooshkashI think you may have been self-medicating autism. Also, I would advise investigating the “circular spectrum/color wheel” model of autism, which I have come to understand as a cluster of potential, associated disabilities including those involving communication, each of which may affect any given autistic individual more or less severely. I wish you comfort and peace in your journey! ❤
I was at an appointment with my therapist having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, OCD and adult ADD. I asked if I ‘might be on the autistic spectrum’. The response was well …obviously 😂. Wow. Thanks. That was a year ago. I’m working with it and finally accepting that I am not just weird. But officially weird lol.
It’s so common now I think not being on the spectrum is “weird” my daughters and I have all the traits and I feel very creative and artistic and I’m learning to love myself
I'm 22 and my testing is on the 17th. I'm so nervous but my mom already did her part and she is very confident that I will be diagnosed. This was very helpful thank you!
@She-Ra Princess of Power I'm sorry I'm actually from the USA. I was tested at the Mayo clinic in Arizona. It's really hard here to get the test. I'm from Colorado and it took me 3 years to get accepted into the Mayo clinic's genetics program.
@@Andresfin well, hard there, and maybe insurance disagreements had to do with it like they often do in the states. I just called a shrink I thought was a good fit for me and said I wanted an adult ASD assessment with no insurance. We got right to it.
I'm so stressed from hearing about the story telling tests because what if I remember what I learned here and it alters the outcome of my assessment and I'm wrongfully diagnosed or undiagnosed as a result I feel like I just watched a spoiler
me scrolling the comments about to make this exact comment.... yep!!! i feel like if i know "the answers" ahead of time that maybe i would ""trick"" the specialist into diagnosing me with autism.... even though thats obviously not the case...
@@tigersinlondon2152 ...or is it? no jk i feel exactly like this cause so much stuff checks out but then again i‘m like „what if i‘m making this up for attention?“
Thank goodness someone said this I'm always like, am I masking it when I'm appearing "normal" or am I faking it when I'm not appearing "normal" I'm so scared I'm just making it up in my head and that I don't actually have it and I feel like if I know what to say I'll somehow say that during the assessment and get a wrong diagnosis just to settle my feelings and then never be sure if I actually have it or not even if I got a diagnosis
I had previously watched this and just had my testing yesterday. In the moment I was so focused on what I was supposed to be doing and absolutely dumbfounded by trying to think of a proper story that Ellas experience I had heard about didn’t even matter. It was a different book too. And different amount of objects then she was tested with. They also told me they aren’t looking for one specific thing they’re looking for a consistent pattern across all things so doing well on one area or under reporting for it doesn’t matter.
My partner is a brilliant artist and the sweetest person possible. I’m here to understand some things about her son, but I realise they have some things in common that you’ve helped me to wrap my head around. Knowledge is power.
I live in the US and make a decent living yet can't afford what it costs to visit doctors. You guys are very fortunate. I will probably die not ever knowing anything about my physical or mental health.
This is how I feel, I don’t believe that I would even be able to get a diagnosis for literally anything for many years given my family is poor and I’m still on their insurance as I’m a dependent college student. It’s a bit frustrating
Yes, me too. I simply cannot afford to even be seen by a dentist! I have my wisdom teeth growing in and I have to live in pain because I just can't afford to get them removed.
It has taken 7 years to get my son diagnosed in Ireland all services that help children with autism are gradually being cut back to nil, you now need a very good income to get private help if you can get that at all and the advice as to how to deal with it is an absolute joke it's very frustrating
I'm an Aspie and EXTROVERTED like crazy. Your gestures seem very much appropriate and in sync with what you say. I have had mentioned to me that my eyes dart everywhere and the more excited/passionate I become, all of the aforementioned traits rise accordingly.
@yungjoemighty May I ask what you mean? Or how she's not? I've recently fallen down the autism-rabbit-hole on YT and have a sneaking suspicion that I may be on the spectrum but did not go to a specialist by now.. anyways for me, she's perfectly in sync and matching what she's saying 😅
My late husband’s whole family (mom, dad, and seven kids total; dad and my husband, the baby, are now deceased) was/is highly social, so even though two of his siblings were special ed, never left the home, never had jobs, and my husband struggled mightily in life generally, largely living at home as an adult and only successfully leaving when I essentially took responsibility for his care (for example, when he finally qualified for disability, he willingly signed his checks over to me, not trusting himself to handle $1,000 all at once), I didn’t think the trouble in that family could be autism… until our daughter was diagnosed autistic after his passing, and is just as social as that whole friggin’ family is! Thing is, they aren’t really GOOD at socializing; they’ve mastered a few basic strategies to please people and keep them talking, since they enjoy being around people and keeping them happy. My understanding of autism has expanded so much… and has caused me to conclude that my late hubby and I were both AuDHD, which would explain why we got along in spite of our massive personal issues! 🥹
This was exactly what happened to me my great niece was diagnosed with autism and when I read up on this I was floored and realized I had struggled my whole life in this and then I took a test and rated fairly high on the spectrum . Then I talked to my counselor and he agreed . Now I understand why I had such a time socializing with people and was alone a lot more and still prefer alone time .
Don’t let the comment about your gestures inhibit you or make you self conscious when communicating. It would cause you to mask and it would be another cause for anxiety. Your gestures are bigger than your topic of conversation merits but it really is not significant enough to sweat about. Rather endearing in fact.
Not trying to take away from your experience or diagnosis, but I think your gestures and facial expressions are spot on with what you’re saying ? You seem very articulate and have a soft pleasant voice.
Oh dear, the ADOS test. I was sooooo bad at both story stuff! With the objects I couldn't even create a story and just built a thing by attaching the objects with each others. And with the picture book I apparently just described what I saw and didn't tell a story at all. The specialist was both appalled and so sorry for me in a kind way! 😅 After that she was already sure I was full on autistic haha. About the facial expressions, apparently I laugh and smile when I say very upsetting stuff. And that's super weird for people. Maybe you're the same? Ps: my letter just said I'm autistic ! Do you people think I should ask for a detailed report?
I asked for one but the clinic who saw me said it is not something they do, it's just a letter. I wish I had had any kind of diagnostic follow up support but I could not for several reasons.
I just did a little self test on my bed using a bra, two pairs of pants and a belt. I immediately felt frustrated because why would I change the things I've picked into something else if I picked them in the first place? I had brain ache straight away, it reminded me of doing math 🥴
Bro, I literally try not to smile in almost every situation. Also, while I talk I just cant control myself and spin around and walk, and I oftenly move my eyes around a lot while talking. I'm not exactly worried if I have autism, but im concerned.
I used to laugh and smile all the time when I was getting in trouble as a child and my parents always thought I was being an ass but it was uncontrollable
I love having autism but I hate it at the same time, my mum doesn't treat me the same as all the other kids, she treats me like I can't do nothing at the age of 24, she even controlls my money, I understand I strongly to understand a lot but I just wanna be treated normal, I'm slowly learning how to use a card in a machine but my mum won't let me do nothing, she's holding me back, I'm multi talented I can rap, song write, draw anime, draw realistic and play the piano and everything and I've got people asking me to draw them and they'll pay me from my online account on Instagram and I keep telling people to wait to wait, especially close friends cause my mum is not letting me try and live myself, she's trying to live my life for me and I'm getting really annoyed
Hi.. I hope you can find a way with your mom that you can get out of the house and maybe get in to a shielded community living arrangement? There are more like minded people and often a 24/7 guidance person to help you out with things you still need to learn. And leaves you be yourself and lets you do all the things you are very able to do yourself. So you have help close if needed. You’ll be able to become the man you are! That is maybe a solution your mother can get behind (because it’s a good and safe place) and you can live your own life and visit your mom just for fun of it again.
My parents do the same and I'm the same age! However, I haven't been officially diagnosed with autism. This only reassures me and let's me know that I'm not alone.
I’m sorry that you’re frustrated. You’re really craving independence and I hope you see that as a positive. I’m a 1:1 Support Worker and that’s always my goal. I hope you can communicate with her what it is that you want to achieve. Best of luck. 👍
i really needed to hear this. i just got my results of my autism assessment and i wasn't diagnosed, even though i was so so so convinced already of being autistic. having experienced childhood emotional neglect, being a trans person socialized as female, masking my entire life, and not having any family members to add extra feedback i feel really impacted my results and i feel really crushed. hearing that the ADOS test doesn't work well for women, trans and nonbinary people really brings me a sense of validity, oddly enough. thank you for your support ♡ your content has helped me learn so much
Right. I'm kind of in the same situation. I'm not trans but I grew up rejecting my assigned gender roll and now I'm neutral to it. Still I'm not going to fit the clean set of traits of either male or female in regards to testing. That and I masked so hard for so long I didn't even realize I was doing it. My dad's so shut down we don't communicate and my mom been nothing but emotionally neglectful and toxic that there's n way I'm asking for her input. I did find a therapist who specializes in narcissistic trauma and dealing with autism but even last session she flat out told me she wasn't going to do any kind of assessment. And honestly I've been reading up on it in the book Unmasking Autism and the author doesn't recommend getting an assessment either because so many practitioners out there only assess traits that fit autistic stereotypical male children. Worse he clearly lays out that getting a label could be detrimental since so much of society either considers most of us to be too "high functional" for help, or will turn on us as too mentally handicapped and become a drain on society. Kind of makes you wonder where to go from here.
Thank you Ella, I am a GP wanting to move into providing an autism diagnostic service and as part of improving my knowledge I decided to watch your TH-cam video. Your description of your emotions regarding assessment and how it feels to be diagnosed, and most importantly the fact that you have found diagnosis a positive experience is really motivational for me. Thank you.
IMHO this is my favorite video from you so far. It comes across as heartfelt and authentically you, with less masking to be extra positive, and more just laughing and sharing an informative story with a friend. :D Thank you for redoing this topic now that you've had time to gain more perspective and knowledge on both the topic in general, getting comfortable being on camera, and time to reflect on your autism assessment.
Shoot. Now that I know the diagnostic outcomes of the frog book and story-making tests, I can’t take those assessments without bias. Learning how they’re used, though, I know how I’d answer them. I hadn’t even considered changing what the items were or reading the story to the Dr.
I'm 32. I was diagnosed bipolar at 14, and didn't get a correct diagnosis until recently, when my son was also diagnosed. Words cannot fully explain the frustration and resentment that comes from living a misdiagnosed life.
Your facial comments absolutely fit what you are saying! "everyone else (allism people)"s expressions are the ones that dont fit what they are saying, because they have the social acting rule book - but they get to say "they are the correct ones - ours are wrong" because there are more of them. Certainly for me - over-analyzing "am I doing the right thing" - its a big trait we can excel at, and its rarely a helpful one...
I gave up on trying to act normal in high school. I just try to avoid doing stuff that will make people hate me or think I'm nuts. Beyond that I improvise and try to be direct and honest. Some people don't like it--well, maybe a lot of people don't like it, but it SURE MAKES LIFE EASIER.
When you brought up Nonbinary and Trans people too, I suddenly felt 100% accepted and like I ACTUALLY CAN MAYBE STILL GET AN ANSWER to everything in my life!! Thank you for that, thank you SO MUCH!! You have NO IDEA how Refreshing it is to hear people include us in these conversations, especially in such a polite and serious manner. Even if it's just ONE SENTENCE, that representation!!
For me it was the deletion of all other options until I had to accept the fact I was autistic but with a silver savant lining. The high IQ and spatial reasoning always made me feel like I was just smart and didn’t like people or crowds and loud noises lol - today I absolutely love who I am ; )
I’ve been told i’m not autistic, although i had almost all symptoms as a young child, and now in my teens i am quite good at mimicking “normal” social interaction stuff, besides eye contact and a few other things, while also having many other autism symptoms. In the letter back they said likely not, because i was good at a few of the tests! i’ve been looking into other neurodivergent conditions because i definitely have these issues, but i was told i am likely not autistic. It’s frustrating !
dude i moved to a new state a few years ago and i realized how bad i am at socializing with other kids and how bad my anger issues and anxiety is. my parents won’t take me seriously so i get how you feel, it makes me so upset :/ ...
bro same here , i was told when i was 13 by my therapist at the time that i’m likely not autistic. i’m almost 19 now and i think i’m going to have to get a proper assessment lol
When I took online screenings, I tended to come back “Not autistic enough to be autistic.”, interestingly also the diagnosis my adolescent son was given. Some doctors/psychologists are still looking for the classic, no-to-minimal speech/social function presentation common in young boys, especially those with learning difficulties. I’d advise seeking out tips from autistic people if you are struggling with life in ways that seem autistic to you. You don’t need the label to potentially be helped by certain strategies (for example, I accepted my need for dim lighting and minimized my exposure to bright, overhead lights in my home). ❤
I love hearing these adult diagnosis stories. It's so interesting to see how it happens a little differently for everyone. I didn't really have much clue I was autistic before diagnosis.
A lot of people are being incorrectly diagnosed with autism as adults when there is nothing wrong with them. It's such an insult towards people who truly have autism. I have a family member with real autism since childhood that is noticeable within seconds of meeting them.
@@chomeeghouri1306 Whether autism is immediately noticeable depends on the severity of the autism and the individual's masking and/or coping mechanisms/strategies.
i know exactly what the doctor means when he’s talking about your expressions and hang movements! i speak exactly like you and often struggle with having small spurts of being too loud, or making a huge hand movement/gesture when i was just normally fidgeting. most people keep the same energy throughout their storytelling whereas we get much more passionate randomly and we release these little energy spurts.
Your assessment sounds just like mine. Your floating froggies (that initially look like fishies)...the telling of a story and other bits I remember. I'm 52 now and struggled all my life with learning, social problems and communication, I really couldn't understand why people see things differently to me and acted the way they did when I was having meltdowns and in full blown panic mode. When I was young I learnt to hide this and avoid situations and have done that ever since.
Hearing an example of what to expect has soothes my anxiety a bit. I have an appointment in a few hours just with my doctor to get referred hopefully to a psychiatrist or specialist. I’m so nervous right now. I feel like I might faint. I am almost certain I am autistic and I fear the rejection and invalidation of being told I’m not. Being autistic is the only thing that makes sense to me and brings me comfort. I have never felt more understood than when researching autistic women. So thank you for being so open about your experiences and for being so specific with your assessment
The story thing is fascinating to me. I was listening to this going "OK, I've wondered if I'm autistic, but I also think I'm pretty good with stories, I even do creative writing...so what's the catch?" And yeah - it ALSO wouldn't have occurred to me to make the match a person or whatever! Had a similar thought when seeing trouble with doing imaginative play with others as part of the DSM list of possible symptoms. I came up with all kinds of narratives on my own, but I'd always get really frustrated playing "let's pretend" with other kids because they would be coming up with stuff I thought made no sense ("Why would fairies AND Nancy Drew be on a pirate ship? This is dumb!"). And I HATE that game where you go around in a circle and each person adds a sentence to the story, because A) it usually deviates real fast from what I think the interesting story would be and B) some people stick in nonsensical things just because. So...huh.
You mentioned you wanted to know what people thought whether your expressions didn't fit what saying and I felt you mask well...you 'overexpress' with your hands as a way of stimming...keep doing what you're doing...you're inspirational Ella
I never thought I was autistic, but I feel like my brain was keeping the secret from me, like I wasn’t ready to realize everything fit together like a puzzle piece.
Thanks so much for sharing. I’m sure your experience will help and encourage many others who are seeking diagnosis. I was diagnosed three years ago and the doctor I saw used the ASDI assessment which isn’t used so much now but it was appropriate for me at the time. What has been particularly helpful for me has been the post diagnosis support I have received from the consultant who diagnosed me. Even now I see her about every three months and value her support and the opportunity to reflect on situations I’ve found challenging.
Despite my younger brother having autism I won't change anything in world.. Just seeing him smile and talking in confidence whether it's to someone or by himself just gives me motivation to be better older brother
The meltdown part too! Last year, my roommate and I were just heading out to drive to Massachusetts from New Jersey for a long weekend vacation, and my google maps malfunctioned. It wouldn't bring up a "start" button. I did try to download another app, but the unfamiliarness of it freaked me out even more, and then I just lost it. Started crying and yelling. My poor roommate. He is also autistic, but the most chill guy you've ever met. Meltdowns as a result of a plan suddenly changing have haunted me my whole life. Seeing that talked about in your video was important.
Ella, I sincerely admire and appreciate you and your husband in your journey. Your video is marvelous, articulate, and informative. Well done. Thank you.
I happened upon your video and found it extremely enlightening.. I'm a 51 year old man who has struggled with "being a bit wierd" all my life.. I want to thank you for this video as it has given me a valuable perspective and I will consider getting assessed myself.
I felt like crying listening to your story, don't know why, I'm waiting for a assessment, especially the story of telling a story, this made perfect sense, I feel like I've been touched by you
What you said about the parking situation… it just hit me certain things about myself. I remember times where I felt like my whole world was falling apart when the plan or expectations I had for my life would disappear from me. Most recent thing was a romantic rejection from someone I really liked. I remember feeling a sense of panic, anger, and hurt kind of all at once, and I had a major depressive episode that followed as a result. I’ve had a lot of difficulty trying to reimagine a new future that I could believe that I would be happy with having. I never really thought of those things as “meltdowns” though. I described them mostly as panic/anxiety/depression, but not meltdowns. Perhaps people who have more mild symptoms of autism experience their meltdowns differently. Ive always heard meltdown to refer to sensory overload and needing to escape.
I lot of questions on autism assessments like the RAADS-R ask about having a lot of trouble with changes in plans, as well as social interactions in general and being overwhelmed by sensory inputs, any of which can cause episodes which look like “panic attacks”, “temper tantrums”, or “meltdowns”, and which people learn to avoid by self-isolating, stimming, and reducing sensory inputs.
Thank you for your videos! My cousin is autistic and not only does this help me understand her but it also helps me with writing more diverse characters
My sons going through process of getting a diagnosis.....now I'm making connections that make me think I'm autistic too. I'm considering going to go for a diagnosis. Thank you for the video.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Thank you for sharing your experience Ella. I had my assessment late last year and was diagnosed earlier this month. I didn't have any of the ADOS tests used for me - I realise now that I must have had the DISCO used, which you mention at the end of your video. I didn't realise that's what it was at the time. Thank you for mentioning this! I am glad I was one of the lucky ones to have been assessed this way.
That AOS test sounds terrifying. I hate talking at length, on the spot, with no planning. I just see myself blanking and shutting down. I’ve been on the waiting list since January 2020. I have no idea if the process has changed in those 2 years…but thank you for sharing your insight into the assessment. I wanted to have some sort of idea as to what to expect. I really hope I get an appointment soon 😔 I’m starting to really struggle as I learn more about myself, tear down the mask….but I don’t have anything official to back me up. Nothing has ever fitted as perfectly as ASD has. The more I learn from and listen to autistic people, the more I connect with them and the more I realise about myself. But this self discovery and self help feels halted without an official diagnosis 😔 Especially as I’m an adult, trying to take steps towards independence.
Great content you’ve really helped me as my son has been diagnosed since 6 yrs old and since he is 12 now he’s going through adolescence and I have felt powerless as a single mother with my sons father and ex who is also autistic so recently I started noticing that I had similar traits but felt if I got diagnosed my son would see me as a failure. Really appreciate your genuine authenticity.
Oddly enough, I understood exactly what your hand gestures meant and made note of it in my head. When you brought it up at the end, I thought it was interesting that it was a thing. I’m glad you shared your story and that you feel seen with your diagnosis.
Neurodivergents tend to find each other. My ex was dyslexic (and maybe more, Idk, she attempted suicide and was really into Supernatural and mythology), and my new partner has ADHD and has autism in her immediate family. I was (mis?)diagnosed with adhd as a child and am waiting on my asd eval Update: I’m officially a diagnosed autistic!
This is the same with me! My boyfriend (with aspergers) and I took an online autism (I know they aren’t reliable for diagnoses but either way) and I scored higher! 😂 now I’m waiting to get a real assessment (this isn’t the only instance that helped me decide I am more than likely autistic, just hit the nail on the head)
@Turquoise Cheetah Don’t fear. If it’s true for you, it’s one of the best pieces of self knowledge you’ll ever get. The discovery has made countless lives including mine make sense
Hi Ella, I am a Canadian in Ontario and I have a granddaughter that is 18 now. She is Autistic. Your life story is so compelling. You are an incredible lady. My daughter Nicole is your age and she suffers with Borderline personality disorder and has a terrible struggle raising and caring for her 18 year old autistic daughter. So my love and my heart goes out to you.
I remember, when I was at school, I really struggled with a piece of drama assessment where the teacher wanted 200 words, 300 words and 400 words on around a minute of a movie discussing the lighting and a few other aspects. I struggled to get 50 for the first, 40 for the second and could barely manage the third. I know I failed miserably, and the reason was, I could only report what I saw, I couldn't analyse it to the extent she wanted. All I could say was, "The film was in black and white and there were some dark bits in some areas and some light bits in others." Or words to that effect. Then, we had to do a film review on Breaker Morant and The Elephant Man, and man, oh, man, you might as well have given a Japanese person a page in Icelandic and asked them to follow the instructions. I couldn't understand symbolism. For example, when Breaker Morant and his co-condemned sat on the chairs to face the firing squad, I saw two men being led to sit on chairs. The teacher talked about the chairs symbolising the frailty of justice and I was like, "What the...??? I saw two men being led out to sit on chairs to face men who were going to shoot them."
You're not alone lol. When I was like 8 we had to describe this picture of a very bland looking school and all I could manage was maybe a sentence just describing how it looked, I didn't understand why the teachers looked at me as if I had done something wrong. High school English classes also made me want to cry lol I could never analyse the poems or novels like the other kids, they filled their whole page with annotations meanwhile I was just sitting there with nothing.
I was diagnosed this morning with High Functioning Autism. Like the creator of this video, I was not surprised at all. It was actually a relief. It gave me hope that I will finally understand why I behave/behaved the way I do/did. It also give me hope that I will be able to find therapies/coping skills that will help me function in society outside my condo.
Damn it the whole 'I made up a story with the item as the item.' just hit me hard. I do that too, same for when I tell a story. But usually its to a group of children, so they are facing me, and I've learned to try and look at each one, except I can't really look closely at them or I loose track of my own story, so I just kind of look at them without really looking at them if it makes sense. The kids love my stories, and I've always considered myself pretty creative. I add funny faces, voices, hand gestures, ect. but yeah I would NEVER turn a match 'into' a person. Match might go on a journey like 'the match then rolled down the hill into the brush' But match is definitely staying a match, I mean that's literally what it is. Sigh, yea I'm probably on the spectrum too
Hi, Ella. I am 31, female, and just discovered that I am autistic less than a week ago. (I am awaiting official diagnosis, but there is no doubt.) This is the first video on autism I have ever watched, and I stopped it several times to cry into my hands. I've been going through the same upheaval of emotions and grief that you described, but every day it gets easier and I feel better the more I learn. Because, with every piece of information I learn, I forgive myself for one autistic thing I've "done" or still do. Thank you for easing me into the world of autism with your calming voice. 🫂
Thank you I was diagnosed at 36. (2008) I became a T1D at age 12yrs. It’s a struggle at times yet I’m alive today☀️. 38 yrs w/T1D (Type 1 Diabetes) 🤗 Thank you for sharing your assessment test experience with us. I appreciate you
First I like your LEGO mug. Thank you for sharing your perspective of the assessment. I was diagnosed about a year ago and completed the same ADOS. It’s been refreshing to know that it is an accurate depiction of an assessment as many individuals go through such an in-depth progress that I tend to feel like my experience of testing was invalid.
I’ve been struggling for the last 2 years especially and it’s been getting worse, listening to this has helped me a lot with maybe understanding too that I may have similarities
I live in the US & have been misdiagnosed for many many yrs till I came across your fellow vlover who thankfully said to look for you & do the test & passed. Dr's here said it was mental for yrs but it only happens in things you've talked about. Ella at 55 yrs old I findly get a reason that makes since. My thumbs up to all your vlogs your my lil gaurdian Angel.
The bit about creating a story from the handbag had me like:- 'Hm, well I'm sure I could make up some nonsensical story about a match, a car, etc'. And then when you said with the answer others would describe the match as a person I...what??? But they said make a story with the items, a person isn't included in the items! Now I just have more questions lol.
Have been so confused most of my life. Was 54 when the diagnosis was Asperger's. My grandson Robert has been diagnosed with autism at around 3 years old. Thank you so very much 😊
I'm now 50 & always wondered whats wrong with me? My daughter mentioned high functioning autism last night. After looking at Autism UK & this video, I think I've finally found out. I mask & hibernate. But, will make GP appointment this week. Sitting here in tears! Thankyou so much for your help!
I came here to hopefully find out what the assessment is like and when she said there's a book with frogs I was like "HEEEELL YEAH." I just love frogs so much, I'm going to embarrass the hell out myself if I see this book in the assessment xD
Automatically if you have any disability of any sort that means that even though it's different than mine or a lot of people you have something in common that's why I consider everybody with a mental physical any type of disorder my brother or sister
As a 27 year old male I’ve put off getting my diagnosis for a long time. Constantly thinking “what is the point?” and “what difference will it make?”…. Yet …. Your video has given me motivation to book an appointment, so, thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. I found it realy helpful and I used it to prepare for my own assessment, which I had on Friday. Sadly, mine was nothing like yours as the service I went to was really discriminatory. They told me before I even sat down in the room that I can't possibly be autistic becuase I offered my wife a seat. They even refused to do the formal ADOS test because I could have a conversation with them. I am so frustrated and feeling extremely flat right now. I've actually put up a video about the experience on my channel if you are interested. It makes me really sad that post code lottery determines that some people get a decent assessor and others don't.
That's a real shame. That is my concern as I think whether to go for a diagnosis or not. I don't think a lot of my traits are totally conventional for ASD even though within myself I am 100% certain. It's an expensive process in Australia and the couple of doctors I have spoken to so far have not been encouraging at all. The reaction from one friend I have confided in was even worse. Purple Ella's vid and your comment has given me some support, thanks.
@@jumpingjellyfishy Very frustrating that autism service are so inadequate unless you've got the cash. Just reinforces the class system where those with resources get what they need and those without suffer. I hope you get what you need in the end.
You’re too funny girl! I had to replay a few times about the weird handshake! It’s very true for me and my own mother and family in general. You’re so sweet. You seem like a kind person. The struggle is real!
Hi Ella! I just want to thank you for your content! I discovered your channel 1 year ago, it's helped in understanding myself better, and I just got diagnosed with ASD myself this week at age 34. 🙂 Cheers!
Was talking w my Mother in law today as we've recently gotten to know each other after like 10 years barely communicating. I told her I thought I might be autistic and she responded "You didn't know you're autistic? I knew you're autistic." She never brought it up since she thought I was diagnosed, but there was no reason for her to bring it up if I didn't. Turns out my husband was diagnosed with what they used to say was a 'touch' of autism, which I assume would be an ASD now. She also thought I knew he was. Now that I'm aware of more traits than the 'classic' autism it's obvious in my hubby too. Life is strange!
@@Anonymous-pk8bk She said even though I present to the world as the 'strong silent type' I have an innocent childlike nature that causes me to put trust in wrong people or situations without realizing the danger. For context a few weeks ago I got scammed by someone claiming my husband was in a dangerous situation in San Francisco. Once I was there they scared me into giving them almost $1000 or they wouldn't free him. Eventually I was able to get a call in and found out my husband was home safe. Everyone in my fam and my hubby's parents and sister called it a scam immediately as I began to recount what happened. As I recounted it suddenly it was so clear, but at the time... On top of that, I didn't know my husband was diagnosed as a child. As mentioned we just started getting to know each other after 10 years. She's aware of the traits. Like my husband I rarely leave home. Prefer the same clothes and food. Have issues w textures of foods more than flavor usually in why I don't like it. She knows all that. Idk if that made her think so too.
You give me hope Ella. I am awaiting my assessment but I, like you, am extroverted and bubbly and creative. I can be described as "a bit much" or "full on" I was worried that I would not meet the criteria for being autistic, but the more I look into it - I REALLY am. I hope whoever assesses me has the experience to see past this.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I’m watching this because I think I’m autistic. I’m 36…I feel I should have realised this so much earlier. It’s so good to find so many Instagram, Twitter and TH-cam accounts discussing autism and I’m starting to learn about the world of autism.
Thank you so much for doing this video. Your epiphany with autism reflects my own, I have experienced a number of unexplained difficulties recently and throughout my life which I have attributed to autism. I am anxiously awaiting a GP referral, so this video for me was very insightful to my next steps.
Means a great deal to me that you mention grief when you got your diagnosis. I’m 69 and I’ve just had my entire life laid bare and all the cruelty, violence, blame and mockery to which I’ve been subjected has come back to me in a raging torrent and I feel so sad.
I'm in such a tricky space with this right now. I went to my GP in may in order to start my diagnosis process. In this appointment i also had to mention my fainting and cold sweats episodes, as well as my want for some sort of mental illness assessment. What i got from that appointment was a lot of brushing off my mental illness, rushing me and saying we didn't have time for it all, even tho i was being brief, telling me i wasn't bad enough and others need to get help more than i do ((which particularly stung bc i hadn't even told her about my extensive history with mental illness, and at that point i was in the middle of a very depressive spiral)), and a pamphlet bc apparently they didn't do mental illness assessents? it left me feeling so hopeless and defeated, i started to cry right there in the office. thankfully she did give me an autism referral form, which i filled out and handed back to the front desk a couple days after my original appointment. a week later the doctor sent a text to confirm blood tests that i had anaemia and got me a prescription for iron tablets, but absolutely nothing about the referral form. it's now september, four months later, and still not a word back about whether she referred me or not. which for the record, i added up my score before handing it back in and i was moreee than eligible to be referred. i guess my only option is to go back to the doctors and get some explanations, but that's extremely hard for someone like me who barely leaves the house as it is due to mental health issues and executive dysfuntion, and uni is starting up again so my priorities will have to shift again. the only reason i was finally able to take that first step in may was bc i had physical issues i had to speak to them about. idk. i'm sorry for venting but i'm just so exhausted by doctors and this whole process. without diagnosis i can't get the help i need from my university, or apply for the dsa. everyone always tells me "the first step is to speak to your GP" but my doctor was so unhelpful and so demotivating that i feel almost helpless to do anything. getting help is just as tiring as the issues themselves so its hard to bring myself to get help when it takes this much energy from me :(
if u r in the uk, i would highly recommend requesting to see a different gp. if you can't do this, you should consider changing your gp centre to a different one. there are lots of gps out there who simply don't care unfortunately
@@yungjoemighty879 yeah I'm considering going back to the doctors to follow up soon, and I'm gonna specifically request to not have that doctor again. Hopefully second time's a charm
I just received my diagnosis yesterday and it feels as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It is such a relief to have an explanation for the tendencies and proclivities I have that I've never fully understood. I am not ashamed of my ASD diagnosis, I am proud.
Also, my experiences were similar, though i am in the US. I was assessed w by a specialist in high masking adults. The company is called prosper health. They do the assessment over zoom, and if your insurance company is in network it is very affordable 👌.
Your facial expressions and gestures are spot on. They seem absolutely normal to me, but then again, I am autistic. So maybe non-autistics would find them unusual. As you were describing what the doctor said about the stories you made up, it made me a little upset that he was effectively saying that you'd done it wrong, because I think that I probably would've done it similar to what you'd done. Instead of thinking that you'd done it wrong and I would've too, I prefer the old adage "great minds think alike". B.
Bryce when I walk through Costco and half way through I make faces from sharp pains in my arthritis and I do have a son with autism that is 33 years old
When I started working with preschoolers with special needs back in 2002, I started seeing myself in the kids with sensory issues and autism. I read the book 'The out of sync child' and my jaw dropped at all of the similarities. Looking back to my childhood I rocked and hummed the same tune over and over, had a hand motion I did when excited similar to flapping (I still rock but grew out of the hand thing and the humming) I am anxious, adverse to change, need routine, feel sorry for inanimate objects, I'm highly empathic especially toward animals, make friends easily but always feel awkward, I make eye contact while listening but when talking, I look everywhere but at the person unless I focus on doing that. I call myself an extroverted introvert. I like being with friends but need/like a lot of alone time to recharge. I had/have visual and auditory stimming triggers (they call that ASMR now!), I relate to misophonia and synesthesia and I have been officially diagnosed with GAD, Clinical Depression, facets of OCD and ADHD. A friend sent me a long checklist of autism in females yesterday which I ticked off a whole hell of a lot of. It didn't surprise me at all. In a way, it makes it a whole lot easier that all of the above quirkiness can just be understood beneath a single term rather than well, I have this, this, this, this, and that. I feel like it would be more genuine to get an assessment but at the same time, I'm quite functional, no problem holding down my job, happily married, etc .I've just through sheer necessity to survive developed coping skills (some learned while working in my job!) and the Depression and anxiety meds do their jobs. There is nothing really I'd do differently with paperwork stamped 'ASD'. But is it something I should pursue anyway? Or is just knowing for myself fair enough? Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you for sharing your story!
Wow! Your story is me…in 2009 I started teaching adapted PE, doing assessments, and attending IEP meetings. As parents described their children with ASD, inside my head they were describing me. I am 56 now, still have the job but was assigned an assistant one week ago. She shadowed me last week and I couldn’t hide my uniqueness. My anxiety was through the roof, I couldn’t function. I don’t see a way out, I will probably have to resign.
@@LightByGrace that was a quick response😃. There were 2 APE teachers that travelled around the county. They decided to reassign her and when I could not service all of the students they decided to hire an assistant to save money. I have survived all these years because I would be at one school for 30 minutes or an hour, then travel to another one. I was able to cope and decompress throughout the day. My assistant started Monday and she is really nice and stable but I had so much internal pressure. She was attached to me for 8 hours a day. I have so many sensitivities with sensory issues, eating/food, anxiety etc. Also I wasn’t given any guidance about her role (long story). I just know that I can’t continue masking. I am considering disclosing the ASD (they know about my ADHD) . I can retire in 4 years, I’m just worried that I can’t make it that long. On a side note, I’m curious about Witchy Pidgeon🤔 I definitely identify as a witch
Next week will be 4 years since my diagnosis at age 59. It is always amazing to me how similar the moment of realization is for so many of us. The diagnosis connects together a lifetime of events that always seemed totally unrelated. Plus, we worked so hard to conform to social expectations that we learned to avoid and even deny, making any connection that was in direct opposition to what we were working so hard to achieve - being " normal". We were not being true to ourselves because we distrusted the autistic person we truly were. The diagnosis resolved this conflict, and let us finally be true to our autistic nature.
Thank you so much Ella, i'm currently being assessed and they never tell me what's going to happen. I have an appointment this monday and all they told me was a few random acronyms and I have no idea what's going to happen!
Thank you, Ella. I'm 41 now and just this week, I've received a letter from the service to which my GP referred me in September. Your videos are informative and necessary. Thanks again! Stew
I have gone through an assessment when I was 18 but the person giving the assessment said i wasn’t autistic only because when reading the book I was able to say the emotions of the people in the book. Even though I have memorized the connections between peoples faces and what emotions come with each one. I’m now trying to go through the assessment again.
When you were talking about the story telling I was thinking the same as you, that I am super creative and can create stories easily, and I imagined being in the assessment and picking something like a carrot up and making up a story about a carrot that goes on adventures etc. So when you said most people would change the object into a person I couldn't stop laughing because that never even crossed my mind to make it something else or embellish it! I am so nervous for my assessment because of my creativity but maybe this just shows I should just relax and do me! Edit: Came back to say, I had my assessment two days ago and turns out I am indeed, autistic!
Thank you for this information. I’m transmasc, have a long history of mental health problems, and have recently (in the past two-three years) started feeling like I’m on the spectrum. This made me a lot less scared to ask my GP about getting testing done.
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
I feel like I might be autistic but I dont want to tell the doctor incase it comes back saying im not and then I will look stupid
Aim for finding an experienced specialist Doctor, some think they know what to look for, but don’t.
Think about it like you're a scientist. You have a hypothesis, and you're arranging to test that hypothesis. Sometimes the hypothesis is disproven, but that doesn't make you stupid. You're just working towards a significant discovery.
You're not gonna look stupid. I've spent my entire life worrying about what other people think and it's got me nowhere in life apart from being stuck and alone. I was just diagnosed but they stalled me for 25 Years!!!!! I wish I knew all this when I was younger because my life might have been better :( I'm a person who don't talk on the phone and has no friends at all but I did it. I really hope you find the courage to do it., Good luck :)
@@colintx800 Thank you 🙂
We all feel like fakes, I think it's due to the masking we do and people are actually trying to be kind by denying it.
When you said, "my local adult autism assessment team" I almost cried in USA.
I Cried in sudan becouse here trying to find out if you are on autism spectrum is very stegmatized and 99% of dr here will tell u to go home
This was both hilarious and too true.
How does one “cry in USA”? I want to see it.
@@Natalie-pp8wt maybe so, but that's kinda the problem...
I'm in the midwest. I have two options if I want to do something like that: deal with autism speaks as an adult that they didn't get to contaminate, or don't do it at all without traveling at least two states over
I had my autism evaluation a few days ago, and get the results in 3-4 weeks 😬
Edit: I’m autistic 😎
Edit 2: thanks to everyone leaving such nice replies, and ableists stay mad cause it’s funny 🥰
Congrats! I finished my eval last month and get my results a week from tomorrow!
Edit: I’m diagnosed! Also got inconclusive results about ADHD
How did they test you?
How exciting for you , sad.
what?
@@lyllaphoenix way too many different tests to list here, but a few of them were short memory tests, identifying what certain idioms meant, questionnaires, matching facial expressions to the correct word, and using colored blocks to recreate a picture that was shown on a computer. The whole evaluation lasted just under 3 hours
I know I am autistic. I found out when I was 59. It was suggested by a therapist and after some research I feel she was spot on. I then went to see a psychiatrist who completely knocked me down. Saying things like I can’t be autistic as I am a successful physician. And that of course I suffer from exhaustion and the need to Isolate because of my profession. And that of course I have no friends because I stay home all weekend. I walked out of there and never looked back. The more research I have done, the more sure that I am autistic. I have no interest in seeking a formal diagnosis because I don’t was to be shot down again. I may have a successful career but that doesn’t diminish the real struggles I have had my whole life. As I don’t need a formal diagnosis for any medical reason, or need to access disability services, I won’t bother. I am confident in my own assessment, it helps explain so much. It also helps me develop coping strategies. So, I know I am autistic and I don’t need anyone to confirm it.
Most doctors use stupid excuses like that to not give you a diagnosis. Autistic people can be super successful, that doesn’t mean you aren’t. You’re valid in your self diagnosis and it’s ok no matter what anyone tells you. I’m glad you know yourself well enough to know :)
Totally agree, and imho the best thing to do is to find a professional that is either an Aspie . And above all, bravissimo for the level of consciousness!
Right on!
It is ok to make a self assessment, however as you know you can not make a self diagnose. You will need your PCP to do that. You should have a good patient doctor relationship. If this is the case he or she should be able to diagnose autism. Maybe you are satisfied with your self assessment and you don't need to add your autism to your medical history. If you think adding your assessment of autism is important to add to your medical history please get a second opinion.
@@elizabethschreffler9182 They made it incredibly clear that they don't need to get a professional opinion.
It won't affect their life in any way, and they are confident in their decision.
Re-read what they said lol
Most difficult part of getting a diagnosis is people believing your true feelings once you take off the mask, I finally opened up to how I’ve been feeling recently to a therapist and all I got was “ well everyone does that” the more i talked to her the more i just thought that maybe I’m crazy later looking at videos of other women talking about their problems also getting diagnosed and being misdiagnosed gave me so much comfort
¹
It's common to switch therapist when you don't like something about them. Health professionals are just people and there are ones who aren't good at their job/make an error. Don't take it personally and get a second opinion. And always fight your corner, don't passively accept what any doctor/therapist says if you don't like it. Even if you're ultimately shown why they were right, you still need to push your own agenda first. I speak from experience of doctors not taking the right course of action which would have led to a very bad outcome had I not challenged it and kept up the pressure. Good luck.
Im getting the same response from everyone i talk to about how hard it is to be autistic. The most common one i hear is “well maybe im a little autistic as well”, “everyone has to deal with that”, or “everyone must be autistic”. Its hard to get through to people that the problems autistic people face are the same ones everyone else faces and that its not the situation thats the problem, its the way our brains cope with those problems and that these tiny problems for everyone else are massive exhausting hurdles for us
@@PolskiProdigy who said anything about behaviour here? People are talking about their mental health, nobody has said they have behaviour issues
this is exactly what i’m going thru !!!
I REALLY relate to the meltdown part. I’ve never had anyone describe the meltdowns as something less like a temper tantrum and more like actual breakdown of panic before this and that was just another point on my “you’re obviously just making this up”-list. I much more relate to being unable to think of what to do when one’s plan has been disturbed.
Can You give me a little guide on what to write on the list ?I want to make one cuz I’ve been thinking that I might be autistic for a year now & my friend mentioned that he thinks I’m very likely to be cuz of the way I behave ,I guess in my head I act “normal” but others see it differently,So I’m just confused on where to start
I relate to that as well. Yesterday i went to a fitnessstudio and got tested first and 15 minutes after i was supposed to get the result on my phone. When 15 minutes where up and the result was not there i panicked, looked for it every second and cried. Controlled change is fine, when i know at least mostly what happens its fine, but objektively small disturbances get me to cry and scream and ruin my entire day left because i keep beating myself up over how unnecissairily that was.
@@Drachenschnauze
What does your username mean? Something concerning the nose?
my autism assessment is in 15 minutes via a video call and i'm watching this to help calm all of my nerves, thank you so much for posting such a friendly and peaceful video!
How did you get on?
Well? How did it go?
@@libbysmith2014 how did it go if you don't mind sharing?
@@joannabiebs Hey! It was alright, I was just asked about my childhood through video call (it lasted about an hour) and then had to go meet them in person 2 weeks later for part 2 of the assessment, which also took about an hour (The ADOS part). It was a bit nerve wrecking being examined but I tried to be myself and not mask.
Edit: Got my results back, I'm autistic.
Night before for me
I thought you said “my daughter is now thirty” and look at you and tried to do the math and I seriously thought NEED THIS WOMANS SKIN CARE ROUTINE
I think it's "thirteen" because she said she's now 41.
I thought the same thing too. 😂
We still need THIS WOMAN'S SKINCARE ROUTINE! I thought she was in her late 20s!
You should check out Marina Abramovich, shes 70 and looks like she’s 30. No joke. Unfortunately it’s all the BLOOD drinking that keeps her looking that way.
no. she said her daughter was 13 in that year and she was 36 and now she's 41 so that would make the daughter now 18 considering only 5 years has passed
I've felt different my whole life. But when I was a kid, I had no idea what autism even was for a long time. I just figured, "I'm just really unique." Now that I'm older (19), I have been diagnosed with OCD, depression, social anxiety, as well as being an HSP, a highly sensitive person. 20% of the population are highly sensitive people, and a lot of the traits of HSP's overlap with having autism, such as, overstimulation, difficulty processing and understanding emotions, sensitivity to certain textures, flavors, smells, etc.
It's hard for me to tell if I might be autistic or if I am just an HSP with OCD and ADHD and social anxiety.
Same diagnoses to all the things you mentioned plus a few more and i feel very hsp and maybe autistic but I don't know as i read facial expressions and understand sarcasm often etc but i interrupt and go on tangents but that would be adhd, ugh
These labels are all just psychology theories. They’re just patterns humans have recognized in particular groups of people. It’s helpful for self understanding but not truly that important. Try not to latch on to these labels as your identity. You know yourself best and will continue to evolve and grow as a person - especially through your 20s as your brain development completes. You are uniquely you; important and special ❤️
@@artbabyjade I agree Jade. We should stop giving labels and treat people as actual individuals. I can't count the amount of times labels has led to social discrimination.
I think I'm the same, I think I have ADHD but finding about adult autism got me confused.
yo my age is 19 aswell
and when i act like an idiot and unnatural or even doing something not normal
my family say im autism or mild autism and laugh
i was doing it for fun and enjoyed it, but my brain said dont worry, dont let others label you, my heart told me, you have autism so what.... ,your family is just judgemental and just a little asshole, cause they laugh at it with no tone of joking. like from their perspective it a bad habit. but my body didnt react they just like meh so now i just act like this cause my soul said many autistic people became big and inspiring and its boring to be same.
Her voice is so calming
Particularly at 1:40 when she says, "Start at the very beginning." I hear Julie Andrews! :)
Until you try to change her routine🤣
Yes, She would make good ASMR videos & could just give us tons of whatever info lol...
Yes...i like the sound of her voice and her accent.
But look at her teeth........
Dear Ella, I'm 76 years and on my last legs, so I don't have time to go through all the proper channels. Today is the first day I've done any research at all, and this video is the first one I have watched after reading a few articles on the internet.
I can relate to most of what you have said in this video and autism sure answers a lot of questions I've had for a long time. I will subscribe to your channel, and it will be the first time I have subscribed to any channel.
🙂
A late ASD diagnosis is fairly common since the resources for early intervention even today still aren’t there. One of the biggest reluctances I had was the thought “I went through elementary, middle, and high school without even hearing about Autism so I must not have it”. That thought I learned was wrong and that I learned to mask until it slipped and I was essentially told off by a coworker who was rude but at least knew the basics of ASD.
@@dambigfoot6844 A problem I have had for many years is that I often hear the words that are spoken to me but I don't respond. Another problem is that I don't remember faces unless I see the person regularly. Many times people think I'm being rude and I never try to explain to the that my memory is faulty. I've only recently considered that it might be autism - " a little autism". But someone said there is no such thing as "a little autism".
I did some really heavy drinking in my twenties and stoppled drinking when I was 26. Until recently I've blamed the heavy drinking for brain damage. I had many blackouts when drunk, sometimes lasting for a day or two..
What do you think?
@@AndrashSpooshkashI think you may have been self-medicating autism. Also, I would advise investigating the “circular spectrum/color wheel” model of autism, which I have come to understand as a cluster of potential, associated disabilities including those involving communication, each of which may affect any given autistic individual more or less severely. I wish you comfort and peace in your journey! ❤
I was at an appointment with my therapist having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, OCD and adult ADD. I asked if I ‘might be on the autistic spectrum’. The response was well …obviously 😂. Wow. Thanks. That was a year ago. I’m working with it and finally accepting that I am not just weird. But officially weird lol.
It’s so common now I think not being on the spectrum is “weird” my daughters and I have all the traits and I feel very creative and artistic and I’m learning to love myself
I love ‘officially weird.’
I’ve decided not to pursue an official diagnosis since I managed to survive into retirement.
I'm 22 and my testing is on the 17th. I'm so nervous but my mom already did her part and she is very confident that I will be diagnosed. This was very helpful thank you!
@She-Ra Princess of Power I'm sorry I'm actually from the USA. I was tested at the Mayo clinic in Arizona. It's really hard here to get the test. I'm from Colorado and it took me 3 years to get accepted into the Mayo clinic's genetics program.
@@Andresfin well, hard there, and maybe insurance disagreements had to do with it like they often do in the states. I just called a shrink I thought was a good fit for me and said I wanted an adult ASD assessment with no insurance. We got right to it.
What’s this design in your profile pic? It reminds me of the Red Lotus
What did your mom do? Did she go with you or write out descriptions of your childhood or something?
What was the outcome?
I'm so stressed from hearing about the story telling tests because what if I remember what I learned here and it alters the outcome of my assessment and I'm wrongfully diagnosed or undiagnosed as a result
I feel like I just watched a spoiler
me scrolling the comments about to make this exact comment.... yep!!! i feel like if i know "the answers" ahead of time that maybe i would ""trick"" the specialist into diagnosing me with autism.... even though thats obviously not the case...
@@tigersinlondon2152 ...or is it?
no jk i feel exactly like this cause so much stuff checks out but then again i‘m like „what if i‘m making this up for attention?“
Thank goodness someone said this I'm always like, am I masking it when I'm appearing "normal" or am I faking it when I'm not appearing "normal" I'm so scared I'm just making it up in my head and that I don't actually have it and I feel like if I know what to say I'll somehow say that during the assessment and get a wrong diagnosis just to settle my feelings and then never be sure if I actually have it or not even if I got a diagnosis
@@tigersinlondon2152 how is not the case im stressing off this too lol
I had previously watched this and just had my testing yesterday. In the moment I was so focused on what I was supposed to be doing and absolutely dumbfounded by trying to think of a proper story that Ellas experience I had heard about didn’t even matter. It was a different book too. And different amount of objects then she was tested with.
They also told me they aren’t looking for one specific thing they’re looking for a consistent pattern across all things so doing well on one area or under reporting for it doesn’t matter.
My partner is a brilliant artist and the sweetest person possible. I’m here to understand some things about her son, but I realise they have some things in common that you’ve helped me to wrap my head around. Knowledge is power.
Hearing this makes me feel good. Thank you for sharing this and I hope y’all are happy
I live in the US and make a decent living yet can't afford what it costs to visit doctors. You guys are very fortunate. I will probably die not ever knowing anything about my physical or mental health.
This is how I feel, I don’t believe that I would even be able to get a diagnosis for literally anything for many years given my family is poor and I’m still on their insurance as I’m a dependent college student. It’s a bit frustrating
Yes, me too. I simply cannot afford to even be seen by a dentist! I have my wisdom teeth growing in and I have to live in pain because I just can't afford to get them removed.
It has taken 7 years to get my son diagnosed in Ireland all services that help children with autism are gradually being cut back to nil, you now need a very good income to get private help if you can get that at all and the advice as to how to deal with it is an absolute joke it's very frustrating
Look into free testing places that test adults
There is literally nothing you can do if you have autism. There is nothing wrong with having autism.
I'm an Aspie and EXTROVERTED like crazy. Your gestures seem very much appropriate and in sync with what you say. I have had mentioned to me that my eyes dart everywhere and the more excited/passionate I become, all of the aforementioned traits rise accordingly.
I'm undiagnosed with any neurotypical diagnosis and thought differently, that her gestures were not in sync with what she was saying
@yungjoemighty May I ask what you mean? Or how she's not?
I've recently fallen down the autism-rabbit-hole on YT and have a sneaking suspicion that I may be on the spectrum but did not go to a specialist by now.. anyways for me, she's perfectly in sync and matching what she's saying 😅
My late husband’s whole family (mom, dad, and seven kids total; dad and my husband, the baby, are now deceased) was/is highly social, so even though two of his siblings were special ed, never left the home, never had jobs, and my husband struggled mightily in life generally, largely living at home as an adult and only successfully leaving when I essentially took responsibility for his care (for example, when he finally qualified for disability, he willingly signed his checks over to me, not trusting himself to handle $1,000 all at once), I didn’t think the trouble in that family could be autism… until our daughter was diagnosed autistic after his passing, and is just as social as that whole friggin’ family is! Thing is, they aren’t really GOOD at socializing; they’ve mastered a few basic strategies to please people and keep them talking, since they enjoy being around people and keeping them happy. My understanding of autism has expanded so much… and has caused me to conclude that my late hubby and I were both AuDHD, which would explain why we got along in spite of our massive personal issues! 🥹
This was exactly what happened to me my great niece was diagnosed with autism and when I read up on this I was floored and realized I had struggled my whole life in this and then I took a test and rated fairly high on the spectrum . Then I talked to my counselor and he agreed . Now I understand why I had such a time socializing with people and was alone a lot more and still prefer alone time .
Don’t let the comment about your gestures inhibit you or make you self conscious when communicating. It would cause you to mask and it would be another cause for anxiety. Your gestures are bigger than your topic of conversation merits but it really is not significant enough to sweat about. Rather endearing in fact.
Not trying to take away from your experience or diagnosis, but I think your gestures and facial expressions are spot on with what you’re saying ? You seem very articulate and have a soft pleasant voice.
Oh dear, the ADOS test. I was sooooo bad at both story stuff! With the objects I couldn't even create a story and just built a thing by attaching the objects with each others. And with the picture book I apparently just described what I saw and didn't tell a story at all. The specialist was both appalled and so sorry for me in a kind way! 😅 After that she was already sure I was full on autistic haha.
About the facial expressions, apparently I laugh and smile when I say very upsetting stuff. And that's super weird for people. Maybe you're the same?
Ps: my letter just said I'm autistic ! Do you people think I should ask for a detailed report?
I asked for one but the clinic who saw me said it is not something they do, it's just a letter. I wish I had had any kind of diagnostic follow up support but I could not for several reasons.
I just did a little self test on my bed using a bra, two pairs of pants and a belt. I immediately felt frustrated because why would I change the things I've picked into something else if I picked them in the first place? I had brain ache straight away, it reminded me of doing math 🥴
I do the facial expressions not matching the situation, people think I’m being sarcastic or over embellishing my enthusiasm for my special interests.
Bro, I literally try not to smile in almost every situation. Also, while I talk I just cant control myself and spin around and walk, and I oftenly move my eyes around a lot while talking. I'm not exactly worried if I have autism, but im concerned.
I used to laugh and smile all the time when I was getting in trouble as a child and my parents always thought I was being an ass but it was uncontrollable
I love having autism but I hate it at the same time, my mum doesn't treat me the same as all the other kids, she treats me like I can't do nothing at the age of 24, she even controlls my money, I understand I strongly to understand a lot but I just wanna be treated normal, I'm slowly learning how to use a card in a machine but my mum won't let me do nothing, she's holding me back, I'm multi talented I can rap, song write, draw anime, draw realistic and play the piano and everything and I've got people asking me to draw them and they'll pay me from my online account on Instagram and I keep telling people to wait to wait, especially close friends cause my mum is not letting me try and live myself, she's trying to live my life for me and I'm getting really annoyed
Hi.. I hope you can find a way with your mom that you can get out of the house and maybe get in to a shielded community living arrangement?
There are more like minded people and often a 24/7 guidance person to help you out with things you still need to learn. And leaves you be yourself and lets you do all the things you are very able to do yourself.
So you have help close if needed.
You’ll be able to become the man you are!
That is maybe a solution your mother can get behind (because it’s a good and safe place) and you can live your own life and visit your mom just for fun of it again.
You’re trending in the right direction! Keep it up and I hope things with your mom improve
My parents do the same and I'm the same age! However, I haven't been officially diagnosed with autism. This only reassures me and let's me know that I'm not alone.
You gotta draw boundaries with her. Good luck! You'll be in my thoughts.
I’m sorry that you’re frustrated. You’re really craving independence and I hope you see that as a positive. I’m a 1:1 Support Worker and that’s always my goal. I hope you can communicate with her what it is that you want to achieve. Best of luck. 👍
i really needed to hear this. i just got my results of my autism assessment and i wasn't diagnosed, even though i was so so so convinced already of being autistic. having experienced childhood emotional neglect, being a trans person socialized as female, masking my entire life, and not having any family members to add extra feedback i feel really impacted my results and i feel really crushed. hearing that the ADOS test doesn't work well for women, trans and nonbinary people really brings me a sense of validity, oddly enough. thank you for your support ♡ your content has helped me learn so much
Right. I'm kind of in the same situation. I'm not trans but I grew up rejecting my assigned gender roll and now I'm neutral to it. Still I'm not going to fit the clean set of traits of either male or female in regards to testing. That and I masked so hard for so long I didn't even realize I was doing it. My dad's so shut down we don't communicate and my mom been nothing but emotionally neglectful and toxic that there's n way I'm asking for her input. I did find a therapist who specializes in narcissistic trauma and dealing with autism but even last session she flat out told me she wasn't going to do any kind of assessment. And honestly I've been reading up on it in the book Unmasking Autism and the author doesn't recommend getting an assessment either because so many practitioners out there only assess traits that fit autistic stereotypical male children. Worse he clearly lays out that getting a label could be detrimental since so much of society either considers most of us to be too "high functional" for help, or will turn on us as too mentally handicapped and become a drain on society. Kind of makes you wonder where to go from here.
I really respect someone who has gone through what you have and are able to be so honest about it with yourself!
Thank you Ella, I am a GP wanting to move into providing an autism diagnostic service and as part of improving my knowledge I decided to watch your TH-cam video. Your description of your emotions regarding assessment and how it feels to be diagnosed, and most importantly the fact that you have found diagnosis a positive experience is really motivational for me. Thank you.
I wish more doctors were like you!
IMHO this is my favorite video from you so far. It comes across as heartfelt and authentically you, with less masking to be extra positive, and more just laughing and sharing an informative story with a friend. :D Thank you for redoing this topic now that you've had time to gain more perspective and knowledge on both the topic in general, getting comfortable being on camera, and time to reflect on your autism assessment.
what's wrong with masking
Shoot. Now that I know the diagnostic outcomes of the frog book and story-making tests, I can’t take those assessments without bias. Learning how they’re used, though, I know how I’d answer them. I hadn’t even considered changing what the items were or reading the story to the Dr.
yeah i thought she should have maybe kept what the gp said to her private but hey ho
I'm 32. I was diagnosed bipolar at 14, and didn't get a correct diagnosis until recently, when my son was also diagnosed. Words cannot fully explain the frustration and resentment that comes from living a misdiagnosed life.
Your facial comments absolutely fit what you are saying!
"everyone else (allism people)"s expressions are the ones that dont fit what they are saying, because they have the social acting rule book - but they get to say "they are the correct ones - ours are wrong" because there are more of them.
Certainly for me - over-analyzing "am I doing the right thing" - its a big trait we can excel at, and its rarely a helpful one...
I gave up on trying to act normal in high school. I just try to avoid doing stuff that will make people hate me or think I'm nuts. Beyond that I improvise and try to be direct and honest. Some people don't like it--well, maybe a lot of people don't like it, but it SURE MAKES LIFE EASIER.
When you brought up Nonbinary and Trans people too, I suddenly felt 100% accepted and like I ACTUALLY CAN MAYBE STILL GET AN ANSWER to everything in my life!! Thank you for that, thank you SO MUCH!! You have NO IDEA how Refreshing it is to hear people include us in these conversations, especially in such a polite and serious manner. Even if it's just ONE SENTENCE, that representation!!
this is random but ya gender valid and you're a badass for coming out, have a very good day 😎
I use to be like this and I promise something mentally changed during quarantine. I’ve never been happier. I diagnosed myself as well
🧍♀️
You can't diagnose yourself.
@@eviethevampire okay thank you Dr. Obvious💚
@@BucckeyTemple actually, my mum does this sort of stuff at work and I asked her if you could diagnose yourself over a video, to which she said no
@@eviethevampire I’m have my Bachelors in Psychology thanks Dr. Obvious I don’t know where I would be in life without you.
just found out I'm autistic and very confused but at the same time it makes sense
For me it was the deletion of all other options until I had to accept the fact I was autistic but with a silver savant lining. The high IQ and spatial reasoning always made me feel like I was just smart and didn’t like people or crowds and loud noises lol - today I absolutely love who I am ; )
I’ve been told i’m not autistic, although i had almost all symptoms as a young child, and now in my teens i am quite good at mimicking “normal” social interaction stuff, besides eye contact and a few other things, while also having many other autism symptoms. In the letter back they said likely not, because i was good at a few of the tests! i’ve been looking into other neurodivergent conditions because i definitely have these issues, but i was told i am likely not autistic. It’s frustrating !
dude i moved to a new state a few years ago and i realized how bad i am at socializing with other kids and how bad my anger issues and anxiety is. my parents won’t take me seriously so i get how you feel, it makes me so upset :/ ...
bro same here , i was told when i was 13 by my therapist at the time that i’m likely not autistic. i’m almost 19 now and i think i’m going to have to get a proper assessment lol
its worth exploring other personality disorders and other forms of neurodivergence
When I took online screenings, I tended to come back “Not autistic enough to be autistic.”, interestingly also the diagnosis my adolescent son was given. Some doctors/psychologists are still looking for the classic, no-to-minimal speech/social function presentation common in young boys, especially those with learning difficulties. I’d advise seeking out tips from autistic people if you are struggling with life in ways that seem autistic to you. You don’t need the label to potentially be helped by certain strategies (for example, I accepted my need for dim lighting and minimized my exposure to bright, overhead lights in my home). ❤
I love hearing these adult diagnosis stories. It's so interesting to see how it happens a little differently for everyone. I didn't really have much clue I was autistic before diagnosis.
A lot of people are being incorrectly diagnosed with autism as adults when there is nothing wrong with them. It's such an insult towards people who truly have autism. I have a family member with real autism since childhood that is noticeable within seconds of meeting them.
@@chomeeghouri1306 Whether autism is immediately noticeable depends on the severity of the autism and the individual's masking and/or coping mechanisms/strategies.
Beside all it's difficulties, Being on the Spectrum CAN BE a Superpower. "Precise detailed explanation" makes you a Great Teacher!
i know exactly what the doctor means when he’s talking about your expressions and hang movements! i speak exactly like you and often struggle with having small spurts of being too loud, or making a huge hand movement/gesture when i was just normally fidgeting. most people keep the same energy throughout their storytelling whereas we get much more passionate randomly and we release these little energy spurts.
Thank you for sharing. My kid was diagnosed at 12, myself at 47
Your assessment sounds just like mine. Your floating froggies (that initially look like fishies)...the telling of a story and other bits I remember. I'm 52 now and struggled all my life with learning, social problems and communication, I really couldn't understand why people see things differently to me and acted the way they did when I was having meltdowns and in full blown panic mode.
When I was young I learnt to hide this and avoid situations and have done that ever since.
Hearing an example of what to expect has soothes my anxiety a bit. I have an appointment in a few hours just with my doctor to get referred hopefully to a psychiatrist or specialist. I’m so nervous right now. I feel like I might faint. I am almost certain I am autistic and I fear the rejection and invalidation of being told I’m not. Being autistic is the only thing that makes sense to me and brings me comfort. I have never felt more understood than when researching autistic women. So thank you for being so open about your experiences and for being so specific with your assessment
The story thing is fascinating to me. I was listening to this going "OK, I've wondered if I'm autistic, but I also think I'm pretty good with stories, I even do creative writing...so what's the catch?" And yeah - it ALSO wouldn't have occurred to me to make the match a person or whatever! Had a similar thought when seeing trouble with doing imaginative play with others as part of the DSM list of possible symptoms. I came up with all kinds of narratives on my own, but I'd always get really frustrated playing "let's pretend" with other kids because they would be coming up with stuff I thought made no sense ("Why would fairies AND Nancy Drew be on a pirate ship? This is dumb!"). And I HATE that game where you go around in a circle and each person adds a sentence to the story, because A) it usually deviates real fast from what I think the interesting story would be and B) some people stick in nonsensical things just because. So...huh.
You just made me realize why I stopped playing text based RPGs. 😆
Your tone and expressions are totally normal. Very engaged. Lovely.
Very helpful thank you, I was assessed and need to go back for a day assessment as they are not sure. They plan to talk to my mum also.
You mentioned you wanted to know what people thought whether your expressions didn't fit what saying and I felt you mask well...you 'overexpress' with your hands as a way of stimming...keep doing what you're doing...you're inspirational Ella
I never thought I was autistic, but I feel like my brain was keeping the secret from me, like I wasn’t ready to realize everything fit together like a puzzle piece.
This is how I feel now
Same! The puzzle just completed itself at the right time smh
Thanks so much for sharing. I’m sure your experience will help and encourage many others who are seeking diagnosis. I was diagnosed three years ago and the doctor I saw used the ASDI assessment which isn’t used so much now but it was appropriate for me at the time. What has been particularly helpful for me has been the post diagnosis support I have received from the consultant who diagnosed me. Even now I see her about every three months and value her support and the opportunity to reflect on situations I’ve found challenging.
Despite my younger brother having autism I won't change anything in world.. Just seeing him smile and talking in confidence whether it's to someone or by himself just gives me motivation to be better older brother
The book with frogs is called Tuesday by David Wiesner, in case someone is looking for it 😉
The meltdown part too! Last year, my roommate and I were just heading out to drive to Massachusetts from New Jersey for a long weekend vacation, and my google maps malfunctioned. It wouldn't bring up a "start" button. I did try to download another app, but the unfamiliarness of it freaked me out even more, and then I just lost it. Started crying and yelling. My poor roommate. He is also autistic, but the most chill guy you've ever met. Meltdowns as a result of a plan suddenly changing have haunted me my whole life. Seeing that talked about in your video was important.
Ella, I sincerely admire and appreciate you and your husband in your journey. Your video is marvelous, articulate, and informative. Well done. Thank you.
I happened upon your video and found it extremely enlightening.. I'm a 51 year old man who has struggled with "being a bit wierd" all my life..
I want to thank you for this video as it has given me a valuable perspective and I will consider getting assessed myself.
I thought your gesturing and facial expressions seemed fine to me. I'm trying to get an assessment right now! Thank you for this useful insight.
I felt like crying listening to your story, don't know why, I'm waiting for a assessment, especially the story of telling a story, this made perfect sense, I feel like I've been touched by you
What you said about the parking situation… it just hit me certain things about myself. I remember times where I felt like my whole world was falling apart when the plan or expectations I had for my life would disappear from me. Most recent thing was a romantic rejection from someone I really liked. I remember feeling a sense of panic, anger, and hurt kind of all at once, and I had a major depressive episode that followed as a result. I’ve had a lot of difficulty trying to reimagine a new future that I could believe that I would be happy with having. I never really thought of those things as “meltdowns” though. I described them mostly as panic/anxiety/depression, but not meltdowns. Perhaps people who have more mild symptoms of autism experience their meltdowns differently. Ive always heard meltdown to refer to sensory overload and needing to escape.
I lot of questions on autism assessments like the RAADS-R ask about having a lot of trouble with changes in plans, as well as social interactions in general and being overwhelmed by sensory inputs, any of which can cause episodes which look like “panic attacks”, “temper tantrums”, or “meltdowns”, and which people learn to avoid by self-isolating, stimming, and reducing sensory inputs.
Thank you for your videos! My cousin is autistic and not only does this help me understand her but it also helps me with writing more diverse characters
My sons going through process of getting a diagnosis.....now I'm making connections that make me think I'm autistic too. I'm considering going to go for a diagnosis. Thank you for the video.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Thank you for sharing your experience Ella. I had my assessment late last year and was diagnosed earlier this month. I didn't have any of the ADOS tests used for me - I realise now that I must have had the DISCO used, which you mention at the end of your video. I didn't realise that's what it was at the time. Thank you for mentioning this! I am glad I was one of the lucky ones to have been assessed this way.
That AOS test sounds terrifying. I hate talking at length, on the spot, with no planning. I just see myself blanking and shutting down. I’ve been on the waiting list since January 2020. I have no idea if the process has changed in those 2 years…but thank you for sharing your insight into the assessment. I wanted to have some sort of idea as to what to expect.
I really hope I get an appointment soon 😔
I’m starting to really struggle as I learn more about myself, tear down the mask….but I don’t have anything official to back me up.
Nothing has ever fitted as perfectly as ASD has. The more I learn from and listen to autistic people, the more I connect with them and the more I realise about myself. But this self discovery and self help feels halted without an official diagnosis 😔 Especially as I’m an adult, trying to take steps towards independence.
Great content you’ve really helped me as my son has been diagnosed since 6 yrs old and since he is 12 now he’s going through adolescence and I have felt powerless as a single mother with my sons father and ex who is also autistic so recently I started noticing that I had similar traits but felt if I got diagnosed my son would see me as a failure. Really appreciate your genuine authenticity.
From a son perspective I would feel empowered if my mom had autism and did the things she does
Oddly enough, I understood exactly what your hand gestures meant and made note of it in my head. When you brought it up at the end, I thought it was interesting that it was a thing. I’m glad you shared your story and that you feel seen with your diagnosis.
after my boyfriend told me hes autistic it made me realize some things after researching
now im suspecting myself
Interesting
Neurodivergents tend to find each other. My ex was dyslexic (and maybe more, Idk, she attempted suicide and was really into Supernatural and mythology), and my new partner has ADHD and has autism in her immediate family. I was (mis?)diagnosed with adhd as a child and am waiting on my asd eval
Update: I’m officially a diagnosed autistic!
Yes why not, it appears everyone is autistic , let's all be autistic. Yippee.
This is the same with me! My boyfriend (with aspergers) and I took an online autism (I know they aren’t reliable for diagnoses but either way) and I scored higher! 😂 now I’m waiting to get a real assessment (this isn’t the only instance that helped me decide I am more than likely autistic, just hit the nail on the head)
@Turquoise Cheetah Don’t fear. If it’s true for you, it’s one of the best pieces of self knowledge you’ll ever get. The discovery has made countless lives including mine make sense
Hi Ella, I am a Canadian in Ontario and I have a granddaughter that is 18 now. She is Autistic. Your life story is so compelling. You are an incredible lady. My daughter Nicole is your age and she suffers with Borderline personality disorder and has a terrible struggle raising and caring for her 18 year old autistic daughter. So my love and my heart goes out to you.
My brain told me I was autistic when I was having a meltdown too. I believe it was God helping me have a breakthrough.
sorry are u autistic because having a meltdown dosnt mean your autistic all
41?! Looking incredible! Best wishes to you and your family!
I remember, when I was at school, I really struggled with a piece of drama assessment where the teacher wanted 200 words, 300 words and 400 words on around a minute of a movie discussing the lighting and a few other aspects. I struggled to get 50 for the first, 40 for the second and could barely manage the third. I know I failed miserably, and the reason was, I could only report what I saw, I couldn't analyse it to the extent she wanted. All I could say was, "The film was in black and white and there were some dark bits in some areas and some light bits in others." Or words to that effect. Then, we had to do a film review on Breaker Morant and The Elephant Man, and man, oh, man, you might as well have given a Japanese person a page in Icelandic and asked them to follow the instructions. I couldn't understand symbolism. For example, when Breaker Morant and his co-condemned sat on the chairs to face the firing squad, I saw two men being led to sit on chairs. The teacher talked about the chairs symbolising the frailty of justice and I was like, "What the...??? I saw two men being led out to sit on chairs to face men who were going to shoot them."
You're not alone lol. When I was like 8 we had to describe this picture of a very bland looking school and all I could manage was maybe a sentence just describing how it looked, I didn't understand why the teachers looked at me as if I had done something wrong. High school English classes also made me want to cry lol I could never analyse the poems or novels like the other kids, they filled their whole page with annotations meanwhile I was just sitting there with nothing.
@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧, not interested!
@Demian ALIKA not interested.
I was diagnosed this morning with High Functioning Autism. Like the creator of this video, I was not surprised at all. It was actually a relief. It gave me hope that I will finally understand why I behave/behaved the way I do/did. It also give me hope that I will be able to find therapies/coping skills that will help me function in society outside my condo.
Damn it the whole 'I made up a story with the item as the item.' just hit me hard. I do that too, same for when I tell a story. But usually its to a group of children, so they are facing me, and I've learned to try and look at each one, except I can't really look closely at them or I loose track of my own story, so I just kind of look at them without really looking at them if it makes sense. The kids love my stories, and I've always considered myself pretty creative. I add funny faces, voices, hand gestures, ect. but yeah I would NEVER turn a match 'into' a person. Match might go on a journey like 'the match then rolled down the hill into the brush' But match is definitely staying a match, I mean that's literally what it is. Sigh, yea I'm probably on the spectrum too
Hi, Ella. I am 31, female, and just discovered that I am autistic less than a week ago. (I am awaiting official diagnosis, but there is no doubt.) This is the first video on autism I have ever watched, and I stopped it several times to cry into my hands. I've been going through the same upheaval of emotions and grief that you described, but every day it gets easier and I feel better the more I learn. Because, with every piece of information I learn, I forgive myself for one autistic thing I've "done" or still do. Thank you for easing me into the world of autism with your calming voice. 🫂
Thank you
I was diagnosed at 36. (2008) I became a T1D at age 12yrs. It’s a struggle at times yet I’m alive today☀️. 38 yrs w/T1D (Type 1 Diabetes) 🤗 Thank you for sharing your assessment test experience with us. I appreciate you
First I like your LEGO mug.
Thank you for sharing your perspective of the assessment. I was diagnosed about a year ago and completed the same ADOS. It’s been refreshing to know that it is an accurate depiction of an assessment as many individuals go through such an in-depth progress that I tend to feel like my experience of testing was invalid.
I’ve been struggling for the last 2 years especially and it’s been getting worse, listening to this has helped me a lot with maybe understanding too that I may have similarities
The book is called Tuesday.
Thank you for sharing your experience
I live in the US & have been misdiagnosed for many many yrs till I came across your fellow vlover who thankfully said to look for you & do the test & passed. Dr's here said it was mental for yrs but it only happens in things you've talked about. Ella at 55 yrs old I findly get a reason that makes since. My thumbs up to all your vlogs your my lil gaurdian Angel.
The bit about creating a story from the handbag had me like:- 'Hm, well I'm sure I could make up some nonsensical story about a match, a car, etc'. And then when you said with the answer others would describe the match as a person I...what??? But they said make a story with the items, a person isn't included in the items! Now I just have more questions lol.
Have been so confused most of my life. Was 54 when the diagnosis was
Asperger's. My grandson Robert has been diagnosed with autism at around 3 years old. Thank you so very much 😊
My gp said all the things you said, i called him with a list and he said after i cried he'd refer me. This was all today
I'm now 50 & always wondered whats wrong with me? My daughter mentioned high functioning autism last night. After looking at Autism UK & this video, I think I've finally found out. I mask & hibernate. But, will make GP appointment this week. Sitting here in tears! Thankyou so much for your help!
I came here to hopefully find out what the assessment is like and when she said there's a book with frogs I was like "HEEEELL YEAH." I just love frogs so much, I'm going to embarrass the hell out myself if I see this book in the assessment xD
Lol the profile picture seals the deal
I am so glad I watched this after my test.
Automatically if you have any disability of any sort that means that even though it's different than mine or a lot of people you have something in common that's why I consider everybody with a mental physical any type of disorder my brother or sister
As a 27 year old male I’ve put off getting my diagnosis for a long time. Constantly thinking “what is the point?” and “what difference will it make?”…. Yet …. Your video has given me motivation to book an appointment, so, thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. I found it realy helpful and I used it to prepare for my own assessment, which I had on Friday. Sadly, mine was nothing like yours as the service I went to was really discriminatory. They told me before I even sat down in the room that I can't possibly be autistic becuase I offered my wife a seat. They even refused to do the formal ADOS test because I could have a conversation with them. I am so frustrated and feeling extremely flat right now. I've actually put up a video about the experience on my channel if you are interested. It makes me really sad that post code lottery determines that some people get a decent assessor and others don't.
That's a real shame. That is my concern as I think whether to go for a diagnosis or not. I don't think a lot of my traits are totally conventional for ASD even though within myself I am 100% certain. It's an expensive process in Australia and the couple of doctors I have spoken to so far have not been encouraging at all. The reaction from one friend I have confided in was even worse. Purple Ella's vid and your comment has given me some support, thanks.
@@jumpingjellyfishy Very frustrating that autism service are so inadequate unless you've got the cash. Just reinforces the class system where those with resources get what they need and those without suffer. I hope you get what you need in the end.
You’re too funny girl! I had to replay a few times about the weird handshake! It’s very true for me and my own mother and family in general. You’re so sweet. You seem like a kind person. The struggle is real!
I think im autistic and i cant do friends, i hate being around people, i have meltdowns alot and load more :(
Me too
Hi Ella! I just want to thank you for your content! I discovered your channel 1 year ago, it's helped in understanding myself better, and I just got diagnosed with ASD myself this week at age 34. 🙂 Cheers!
Was talking w my Mother in law today as we've recently gotten to know each other after like 10 years barely communicating. I told her I thought I might be autistic and she responded "You didn't know you're autistic? I knew you're autistic." She never brought it up since she thought I was diagnosed, but there was no reason for her to bring it up if I didn't.
Turns out my husband was diagnosed with what they used to say was a 'touch' of autism, which I assume would be an ASD now. She also thought I knew he was.
Now that I'm aware of more traits than the 'classic' autism it's obvious in my hubby too.
Life is strange!
Did she tell you what gave it away? What made her assume with all due respect that your autistic? Do you have Add/ ADHD too? Respectfully!
@@Anonymous-pk8bk She said even though I present to the world as the 'strong silent type' I have an innocent childlike nature that causes me to put trust in wrong people or situations without realizing the danger.
For context a few weeks ago I got scammed by someone claiming my husband was in a dangerous situation in San Francisco. Once I was there they scared me into giving them almost $1000 or they wouldn't free him. Eventually I was able to get a call in and found out my husband was home safe.
Everyone in my fam and my hubby's parents and sister called it a scam immediately as I began to recount what happened.
As I recounted it suddenly it was so clear, but at the time...
On top of that, I didn't know my husband was diagnosed as a child. As mentioned we just started getting to know each other after 10 years. She's aware of the traits.
Like my husband I rarely leave home. Prefer the same clothes and food. Have issues w textures of foods more than flavor usually in why I don't like it.
She knows all that. Idk if that made her think so too.
I'm sorry this is off-topic, but I really like the width of your shelves! Thank you for sharing this story.
You give me hope Ella. I am awaiting my assessment but I, like you, am extroverted and bubbly and creative. I can be described as "a bit much" or "full on"
I was worried that I would not meet the criteria for being autistic, but the more I look into it - I REALLY am. I hope whoever assesses me has the experience to see past this.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I’m watching this because I think I’m autistic. I’m 36…I feel I should have realised this so much earlier. It’s so good to find so many Instagram, Twitter and TH-cam accounts discussing autism and I’m starting to learn about the world of autism.
Thank you so much for doing this video. Your epiphany with autism reflects my own, I have experienced a number of unexplained difficulties recently and throughout my life which I have attributed to autism. I am anxiously awaiting a GP referral, so this video for me was very insightful to my next steps.
Means a great deal to me that you mention grief when you got your diagnosis. I’m 69 and I’ve just had my entire life laid bare and all the cruelty, violence, blame and mockery to which I’ve been subjected has come back to me in a raging torrent and I feel so sad.
I'm in such a tricky space with this right now. I went to my GP in may in order to start my diagnosis process. In this appointment i also had to mention my fainting and cold sweats episodes, as well as my want for some sort of mental illness assessment. What i got from that appointment was a lot of brushing off my mental illness, rushing me and saying we didn't have time for it all, even tho i was being brief, telling me i wasn't bad enough and others need to get help more than i do ((which particularly stung bc i hadn't even told her about my extensive history with mental illness, and at that point i was in the middle of a very depressive spiral)), and a pamphlet bc apparently they didn't do mental illness assessents? it left me feeling so hopeless and defeated, i started to cry right there in the office.
thankfully she did give me an autism referral form, which i filled out and handed back to the front desk a couple days after my original appointment. a week later the doctor sent a text to confirm blood tests that i had anaemia and got me a prescription for iron tablets, but absolutely nothing about the referral form. it's now september, four months later, and still not a word back about whether she referred me or not. which for the record, i added up my score before handing it back in and i was moreee than eligible to be referred.
i guess my only option is to go back to the doctors and get some explanations, but that's extremely hard for someone like me who barely leaves the house as it is due to mental health issues and executive dysfuntion, and uni is starting up again so my priorities will have to shift again. the only reason i was finally able to take that first step in may was bc i had physical issues i had to speak to them about. idk. i'm sorry for venting but i'm just so exhausted by doctors and this whole process. without diagnosis i can't get the help i need from my university, or apply for the dsa. everyone always tells me "the first step is to speak to your GP" but my doctor was so unhelpful and so demotivating that i feel almost helpless to do anything. getting help is just as tiring as the issues themselves so its hard to bring myself to get help when it takes this much energy from me :(
if u r in the uk, i would highly recommend requesting to see a different gp. if you can't do this, you should consider changing your gp centre to a different one. there are lots of gps out there who simply don't care unfortunately
@@yungjoemighty879 yeah I'm considering going back to the doctors to follow up soon, and I'm gonna specifically request to not have that doctor again. Hopefully second time's a charm
I'm getting ready to get assessed on two days, and I am very nervous. This video gives me reassurance.
I just received my diagnosis yesterday and it feels as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It is such a relief to have an explanation for the tendencies and proclivities I have that I've never fully understood. I am not ashamed of my ASD diagnosis, I am proud.
Also, my experiences were similar, though i am in the US. I was assessed w by a specialist in high masking adults. The company is called prosper health. They do the assessment over zoom, and if your insurance company is in network it is very affordable 👌.
Your facial expressions and gestures are spot on. They seem absolutely normal to me, but then again, I am autistic. So maybe non-autistics would find them unusual.
As you were describing what the doctor said about the stories you made up, it made me a little upset that he was effectively saying that you'd done it wrong, because I think that I probably would've done it similar to what you'd done. Instead of thinking that you'd done it wrong and I would've too, I prefer the old adage "great minds think alike".
B.
Bryce when I walk through Costco and half way through I make faces from sharp pains in my arthritis and I do have a son with autism that is 33 years old
I am in the US and was just diagnosed with autism level 1. Your description of your assessment is exactly what my assessment was like.
When I started working with preschoolers with special needs back in 2002, I started seeing myself in the kids with sensory issues and autism. I read the book 'The out of sync child' and my jaw dropped at all of the similarities. Looking back to my childhood I rocked and hummed the same tune over and over, had a hand motion I did when excited similar to flapping (I still rock but grew out of the hand thing and the humming) I am anxious, adverse to change, need routine, feel sorry for inanimate objects, I'm highly empathic especially toward animals, make friends easily but always feel awkward, I make eye contact while listening but when talking, I look everywhere but at the person unless I focus on doing that. I call myself an extroverted introvert. I like being with friends but need/like a lot of alone time to recharge. I had/have visual and auditory stimming triggers (they call that ASMR now!), I relate to misophonia and synesthesia and I have been officially diagnosed with GAD, Clinical Depression, facets of OCD and ADHD. A friend sent me a long checklist of autism in females yesterday which I ticked off a whole hell of a lot of. It didn't surprise me at all. In a way, it makes it a whole lot easier that all of the above quirkiness can just be understood beneath a single term rather than well, I have this, this, this, this, and that. I feel like it would be more genuine to get an assessment but at the same time, I'm quite functional, no problem holding down my job, happily married, etc .I've just through sheer necessity to survive developed coping skills (some learned while working in my job!) and the Depression and anxiety meds do their jobs. There is nothing really I'd do differently with paperwork stamped 'ASD'. But is it something I should pursue anyway? Or is just knowing for myself fair enough? Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you for sharing your story!
Wow! Your story is me…in 2009 I started teaching adapted PE, doing assessments, and attending IEP meetings. As parents described their children with ASD, inside my head they were describing me. I am 56 now, still have the job but was assigned an assistant one week ago. She shadowed me last week and I couldn’t hide my uniqueness. My anxiety was through the roof, I couldn’t function. I don’t see a way out, I will probably have to resign.
@@cosmictickle5168 Oh, no! I'm so sorry! :( :( Why were you assigned an assistant after all these years?
@@LightByGrace that was a quick response😃. There were 2 APE teachers that travelled around the county. They decided to reassign her and when I could not service all of the students they decided to hire an assistant to save money. I have survived all these years because I would be at one school for 30 minutes or an hour, then travel to another one. I was able to cope and decompress throughout the day. My assistant started Monday and she is really nice and stable but I had so much internal pressure. She was attached to me for 8 hours a day. I have so many sensitivities with sensory issues, eating/food, anxiety etc. Also I wasn’t given any guidance about her role (long story). I just know that I can’t continue masking. I am considering disclosing the ASD (they know about my ADHD) . I can retire in 4 years, I’m just worried that I can’t make it that long. On a side note, I’m curious about Witchy Pidgeon🤔 I definitely identify as a witch
@@cosmictickle5168
outside_pigeon or thehellinhelen 😁
Next week will be 4 years since my diagnosis at age 59. It is always amazing to me how similar the moment of realization is for so many of us. The diagnosis connects together a lifetime of events that always seemed totally unrelated. Plus, we worked so hard to conform to social expectations that we learned to avoid and even deny, making any connection that was in direct opposition to what we were working so hard to achieve - being " normal". We were not being true to ourselves because we distrusted the autistic person we truly were. The diagnosis resolved this conflict, and let us finally be true to our autistic nature.
Thank you so much Ella, i'm currently being assessed and they never tell me what's going to happen. I have an appointment this monday and all they told me was a few random acronyms and I have no idea what's going to happen!
Good luck today!
Thank you, Ella. I'm 41 now and just this week, I've received a letter from the service to which my GP referred me in September. Your videos are informative and necessary. Thanks again! Stew
I have gone through an assessment when I was 18 but the person giving the assessment said i wasn’t autistic only because when reading the book I was able to say the emotions of the people in the book. Even though I have memorized the connections between peoples faces and what emotions come with each one. I’m now trying to go through the assessment again.
When you were talking about the story telling I was thinking the same as you, that I am super creative and can create stories easily, and I imagined being in the assessment and picking something like a carrot up and making up a story about a carrot that goes on adventures etc. So when you said most people would change the object into a person I couldn't stop laughing because that never even crossed my mind to make it something else or embellish it! I am so nervous for my assessment because of my creativity but maybe this just shows I should just relax and do me!
Edit: Came back to say, I had my assessment two days ago and turns out I am indeed, autistic!
Thank you for this information. I’m transmasc, have a long history of mental health problems, and have recently (in the past two-three years) started feeling like I’m on the spectrum. This made me a lot less scared to ask my GP about getting testing done.