FIRST GAY CLUB EXPERIENCE
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 เม.ย. 2017
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It always feels like he's talking just to me..... just to me........
Thunder1212 hi camera, you doin aight?
Pulsar1984 are you ok ?
I feel the same way. It’s mesmerizing and therapeutic
@@brennonhunter-chamberlain6995 same
Half the replies being, u ok?
First time in a gay club... It was 1987. I was 16 and was barely out of the closet. The bar was nothing more than a hole in the wall with wood paneling everywhere and a single disco ball over a tiny linoleum dance floor. The club didn't even have a name, just a street number on a nondescript gray facade with gray painted windows--512 Main or something like that. It was also the only one within 100 miles of where I lived. I was meeting a boy I liked there. He went to high school in the sister city to the one I lived in. I think I sat in my car for a good half hour before I found the courage to go in. I was terrified someone would to see me. I don't know why. At the time, the old downtown area where the club was located was mostly boarded up storefronts. No one went down there, ever. They didn't card me at the door nor make me pay. I had my first alcoholic beverage there: an amaretto sour because that's what the boy liked. We were the only two young guys there. I remember thinking how old the handful of other patrons looked. Several were stereotypical 70's gay clones with mustaches, tight jeans, and hankies. Others just regular looking guys, if not a little more flamboyant in their gesturing. They were all completely uninterested in us, except for the occasional side glance. I was fascinated by the two couples that were dancing together. They just looked like regular people, like it was just all so natural. The boy and I made it three when a slow song came on. I don't think there was a real DJ. The door guy would run to the back and start a new record when the last song ended. I completely freaked out. Not because of the club, I felt safe in that little dive. I didn't have to pretend straight there. I was freaked out because I was there with my first crush who was so confident and sure of himself and I was this scared little thing who was just starting to figure it all out. I was also freaked out because I was 16 years old drinking alcohol in a twenty-one and over bar and was sure the cops were gonna storm in at any moment and arrest me and then my dad would find out. The boy didn't work out, but the bar/club became my weekend retreat until it shuttered a couple years later and I discovered bigger shinier bars in the city 100 miles away.
John Lay Gr8 story. it's strange how much we can remember & how much of it we can recreate so well.
Traumatic and exhilarating events tend to stick with us. I remember it because I hadn't even told the boy I was meeting that I was gay yet (he knew already of course. I think everyone knew before me) and because I was going to THE gay bar that was disparagingly whispered about in my high school. It's actually one of my favorite coming out memories. Coming out in the 80's was hard, frightening, and VERY isolating, especially in a small conservative Texas town.
Hi John, I really liked your story. I can relate having been born and raised in a small town in Kentucky. In the 80's there were gays for days of sorts. The small little mall parking lot in a neighboring town would have a great deal of gays parking and out talking to one another. To me people were more social back then. We had to be social in person, face to face. I feel that this is something missing today. I experienced very few people who were stuck up and rude. It seemed that gay people were more accepting and gracious back then. My first gay bar experience was at a small gay bar in downtown Clarksville, Tennessee. It had a small dance floor that was used for drag shows held on Friday and Saturday nights. It was fun for the group of guys and gals from my hometown. I remember those days fondly. HIV and Aids was new and not a lot was known about it then, and unfortunately many of the people that I hung out with were loose and free with sex. They shared sex with each other until they started dying within months and a few short years of one another. I realize that I am truly blessed by God. There is something to be said about my being shy and insecure back then.
i really got the wrong impression when you said the club was a hole in the wall
I LOVED your story! So endearing. I can relate soooo much! You must have been adorable. All 16 year olds are adorable in that 16 year old way (make sense?). First gay bar I went to was The Monster in New York City which is one of the few gay bars left in New York's west village.
1987 was a tough year, wasn't it? The rise of the AIDS crisis.
I can tell you're shy by the way you talk to the camera. (I do the same thing) But it's super cute! haha
@Michael Vanskier Your not the only one who can tell, and I also think it's cute but it's real and not acting.
😅
Andrew, you set a great example. There are only a few young people I know of who acknowledge the efforts of previous generations of gay people who worked hard to build a community for their brothers and sisters. Not to mention offer respect to them. So I, for one old fart, want to say thanks for recognizing the contributions and hard work of thousands of people around the world making it so much easier for recent generations to be themselves and have a safer community. The work is not done, it probably never will be. But I thinks it`s people such as yourself, who recognize what has been done and what still needs to be done, who will carry on the good work. And let`s always remember absent friends; so many were taken by disease and violence. They deserve a special place in our hearts. Love ya, bro! Keep making these great vids. *HUGS*
Well said Don- Andrew's respect and appreciation speaks so well of this fine young man. Things have changed so much in the last 25-30 years. I hope many of this audience know about Stonewall and the battle that generation fought----and like you said-the battle is far from over.
Seth, the battle is global. Just as the allies liberated Europe in WWII, we have to be active in the fight in other countries, if only to offer support to our brothers and sisters there. To do otherwise would be selfish and inconsiderate.It's a lot harder in some situations. And there are still pockets of hatred in North America. It will take a long time to get to the Eutopia the Goddess Demeter is hopeful for below. Don't think that what you have has been handed to you on a silver platter. You have to prize and protect it. Some a**hole could try to take it away from you in a heartbeat. Be ready to defend it with your heart and soul my friend.
You are exactly right Don Kettle. And S.A. Yeanis, let's not forget the generation that was lost in the 80's and early 90's.
seth, don't think it's over. We now have a Republican president, as well as a Republican controlled Congress and Senate. Don't think for one minute they wont try to reverse some of the gains the LGBT community has made in the last few years. Don Kettle has summed it up perfectly, it could all be taken away in a heartbeat.
To Don Kettle: In addendum, The problem with history is the new generations are unaware of the past. Is there even some type of LGBT History Museum out there? Probably time for one to be built. Not just Stonewall, but Harvey Milk, San Francisco, West Village NYC, West Hollywood, many other similar areas throughout this country and Canada, the International Scene including Cologne, Paris, Amsterdam, Bangkok, the Dark Ages when many gay males died from AIDS, March on Washington, and the 90s when all of the sudden us gays were living all over the place being who we are, just the average ordinary tax paying hard working citizen when all of the sudden everyone realized that everyone knew someone who was gay, at least in most of this country.
I’m a closet bisexual guy and I love watching your videos because it helps me learn and be more confident in myself thank you for being you I love your vids so much
I understand your situation. I respect it.
Since you asked - my first time (1991) - I circled the streets outside the club for so long, that by the time I went inside they were calling last drinks. I had one drink and got kicked out with everyone else at closing. Then sat in the car and hated myself some more for lacking courage. It was months before I tried again, but sooner or later I became one of those guys who paved that road you're talking about.
Years later, I met my husband in a club (1998), and we're celebrating 20 years without pause, crisis or break in January. We now have two kids (surrogacy) and have had an awesome life so far. So you can make meaningful connections from the most dubious of meetings.
I echo your comment, Andrew - Don't be me on my first time, go inside. Get a drink, sit down and see what happens. :)
Impressive. I've had a boyfriend for over two years and it's the greatest.
Andrew, I just discovered your channel and honestly I am so impressed. Your comments about those that paved the way for us are so true. There is so much to learn from sharing stories and experiences with the men and women that have lived through
things that this generation could not even imagine. As an older gay man I am pretty much invisible to anyone under 40, I get that , but I can tell you that kindness and respect go a long way. I've had friends that were many years older than me and found talking to them fascinating. I learned so much and they enjoyed sharing. We are all in this together and thank you for recognizing the value of what we have lived through, but mostly thank you for not being afraid to vocalize it.
You brought up a lot of great memories for me as I used to go to Backstreet after the gay bowling league on Friday nights! We had a group of about 10 who would go out to eat when bowling finished around 9:30pm, have several drinks at dinner, then race to Backstreet and the last one there bought the 1st round of drinks. We usually partied there until 3am and sometimes went to a notorious after hours bar called J-Wags, which was across the street from your school SCO 🙀 Having lived here in Memphis for 35 years I can attest to the fact that the gay social scene for a long time centered around the gay bars. When we started the gay bowling league there was some resistance from bowling alleys not to allow us to bowl, but after they realized that we could spend a lot of money, and have a lot of fun, they were soon fighting to get our business. Gay bars were the beginning of the social evolution and acceptance of the LGBTQ community, and I'm proud to have been a part of "paving the way". By the way, my first time in a gay bar happened when I was stationed in Germany as a member of the U,S, Air Force. It was at a dance club in Frankfurt. First time in a gay bar, in a foreign country, and dancing with men of all kinds of nationalities and speaking different languages. Those were the days!
I was dating someone from my college and asked him if he would drive me to a gay club about 2 hrs away in Kansas City. It would be my first time in a gay bar. I too was terrified and said to him -- I don't care what you do, just don't leave me here. After awhile in there a guy came up and asked me to dance. Understand I was from a very small town in the Midwest (population about 350) and had never experienced 2 guys dancing, etc. Reluctantly I agreed. After dancing he asked if I would like to come over to his place. The guy I came with and I were casually dating so I told Chris, the guy who invited me home, thanks but I should really pass because I was sort of here with someone else. About that time the guy I came there with came up to us and said "well I'm going home with this guy", a guy he had been dancing with, "who are you going home with"? I wanted to punch him. Instead I said I guess I'm going home with Chris (the guy who had just propositioned me). I had nowhere to go and didn't even have a car there because Chris drove so I was pretty much stuck 2 hrs from home. Long story short, I went home with Chris. We hit it off. I quit dating the guy who took me to the bar and dated Chris for awhile. To this day almost 45 years later we are still friends. We are both in our 60s and love to tell people about my first time in a gay bar. People are amazed with the story.
This is a great story.
That's so lovely i hope I have an experience like this- minus the rude friend!
It was so cute listening to you tell your story. _It still had that newness/wonder like if it had just happened._ 😊
Andrew is so adorable, especially talking about how nervous he was
Justin Clouse Agree, Andrew is the best most Genuine Humble & cutest Story teller EVER !!! Gr8 Advice & insight.
I'm from Birmingham UK and I actually feel like giving up on meeting anyone in general. The gay community here is very bitter and selfish and it's all about open relationships and sex with each other, I don't judge but It's not my thing. My life is here so I can't just move plus I'm 35, just feel like giving up on meeting any gay friends especially a monogamous relationship.
WrathofMatt I can relate to your comment and I think it's sad what we do to ourselves . You say you're 35 so what ? That's not old ! It's just a number but we as the gay community are so brainwashed by media and within our community that we think that everyone who's older than 30 is old :/ makes me sad but I often feel the same way . I hope you find gay friends and a relationship if that's what you want :) all the best from Germany
00Licorne00 thanks for your reply, I've literally just started German out of the blue so don't know any yet really 😊 I don't feel like my age is an issue just sad that I don't have gay friends by this age but I agree most gay guys do feel like 30 is old. Good job I still look 25 and I've stopped aging haha
WrathofMatt hahaha tell me your secret ! Did you kiss a crossroads demon for eternal youth ? ;P people tell me I look young too but honestly that's the problem. It's supposed to be a compliment but I stresses me out to keep looking the way I do. I'm always afraid these days that somebody tells me I look older than I actually am and there lies the problem doesn't it? Sometimes I wish social media wasn't a thing cuz it would take away a lot of pressure but then again we couldn't talk right now ;) or find courage in other gay TH-camrs or meet people online and start online friendships ;) maybe that's something you could try?
I experienced the nightingale for the first time a few weeks ago!!
16 here and from the same place. I think it's more a generational thing cause all of the gay people Ik who are my age have been in a relationship for a year or two.
I just want to thank you for kind words about those who came before you. I am 54 and my first experience was in Columbus Ohio. I live about 2 hours away.
It was with my first partner (of 20 years) he was 9 years older so we had well experienced and had gone there many times.
There were 23 gay bars and each very different from each other.
We went to the biggest club at the time. I think it had 4 bars in it. I was so nervous, butI think it came from excitement rather then fear. Like You, it changed my world when I saw all the activities around me.
All these years later... after being with Jack, he died. Heart Attack. I soon met my current husband, Opie. He is truly my soulmate. We've been together around 15 years now. Got married last August.
I remember the first time I took him to Columbus. He went through the same emotions as we did. It must be very common.
We go to the Pride celebration every year. I've seen it go from 80 some people to a half Million last year. The parade was 3 hours long. Whew!
We all worked very hard to pave the path to where we are now.
Thank You so much again for acknowledging that fact. I wish more young men and women would. And the fight never ends.
mooktuff thanks for your story :) I liked reading about your experiences and it seems like we all did have similar experiences the first time we we exposed to the gay club scene :) (no matter what generation)
Thank you for this, it's well inspirational. Makes me think about how difficult things must've been even just 30 years ago.
mooktuff
Tradewinds... I was rather shocked when I heard that it was gone.
Wow! LOve that story. You said the parade in Ohio is 3 hours long??? Try 7 hours in New York City!! Yup! and I marched 10 years in a row and designed a float one year (fun but hard work!!) Next year 2019 is the 50th anniversary of Stonewall, the one that started it all. It should be big big big!
Thanks for sharing this with us, I just went to my first gay bar this year and it's my new favorite place. I was extremely nervous as well, but each time I have met amazing unique people wether they are gay or straight. I'm 24 and I only just came out this year to my friends although my family is completely unaware. I have opened a new chapter in my life this year, seeing your videos and hearing your experiences gives me hope that in time things will turn out for the better. Looking forward to more of your content!
Love, love, love this video, Andrew! What a great story, and one that probably resonates with a lot of gay club first-timers. It also sends a great message about being open to talking to new people when you're out at gay bars/clubs. I'm the same way, I love striking up a conversation with new and interesting people in the community.
Thank you Andrew for mentioning the shoulders we all are standing on. I remember my first gay club. Back in the 1980's. I walked into this bar in San Jose California near the Fox theater. Friendly group of guys and girls. Then a commotion happened out side and the bar emptied to help someone no one knew who was being beaten by some guys. The guys dispersed as this crowd of men, women, queens, boys and girls ran to this guys help. I knew I was in a safe place there because the regulars worried about each other. Instead of being frightened from the bashing, I was impressed with the community. I haven't been back in at least 20 years. But I know I would be welcomed with open arms..thank you for this post. Take care.
After another wet, nasty weather day here in Chicago, second day in a row I get home from work in wet clothes because of wind and rain, I looked up your channel and saw this new video. Andrew, your videos are so just so awesome! In this one I love how you specifically give out a shout to older gay guys and thank them for "paving the way". Thank you so much for sharing your inner self on these videos, that is pretty brave. One last thing in my long comment, sorry, for your Q&A, submitted this question last time but it did not get selected. When you go to see a movie, what is your favorite movie genre? Romantic Comedy, Sci-Fi, Drama, War/military? Thanks!
Andrew, you are really wonderful! I have so enjoyed watching your channel. . .i am one of the "old--guy" club. I came out in the 1980's when i was in college. i went to school in a small town in central Illinois. I was one of the only people out on my campus, and because of that I got asked to speak at dorms and health classes. I was literally called the "campus fag", my university was so concerned about these events that I was escorted to and from many of the evening events by members of our football team. We broke a lot of ground back then, and it was not easy. I am glad you are alive today and can see the fruit of our labor. .. . you are the world I was fighting for back then, and it makes me so happy to see your generation happy and living free. That was the better world i saw ahead of us back in the 1980's . . .
My question to you would be when you look ahead, what do you see the generations that will follow you doing? Picture yourself in my shoes. . .52 and watching people in their twenties expressing themselves through some new technology. What is the world you want to see for them. What seeds would you like to see planted?
thanks again for being so kind . . .I do love that about your channel. You are funny, helpful and smart. I have truly enjoyed your channel . . .keep being kind. go in peace. . .Jack
I had my 1st gay Club experience when I was 18 as well (last year).
I had never been in a club before that, and it was so exciting to see all this people dancing, drinking and making out :D and no one cared :) It was so welcoming and such a comfortable feeling and atmosphere. I couldnt thank my friends enough for taking me there.
I never experienced go to gay bar but I want to.
This is the first video of yours that I have ever seen and for a hella-closeted teenage guy you being so open about yourself is amazing, inspirational, and refreshing. Thank you so much and keep at it!
awesome video and great advise. That line "be welcoming and be welcomed" was such a great statement.
Of course gay bars everywhere are great experiences for you and it's easy to make friends... you're a 10. For anyone who isn't though... it's basically like being in high school again.
So true. I’m kinda tired of pretty people making it seemed like they struggled to fit in when they’re worshipped liked gods. Yeah, I’m bitter and jealous. This community is shallow AF!
Ooo, good advice
@@rykoreyes9021 ya the four of us should make a different gay bar, one where 10s aren’t allowed lol
You're a 10 in the gay community. No one would ever reject you in a bar because you're handsome and fit. Your sob story plays flat. Try being the average or less than average gay guy in the bar. And for what's its worth, the gay community is FAR from welcoming unless they look like you. Don't be so naive.
I love the fact that you acknowledge what the people that went before have done for us. I'm 50 now and always used to remind people that we were "standing on the shoulders of giants" who paved the way for what we had and, we in turn, should move it forward again. I remember when Pride marches were almost a secret event held in the city's gay village and now people fill the streets.
It's also true what you said about older gay people. I'm quite recently, and unfortunately, single but don't feel like I can go to bars because younger guys will feel like I'm hitting on them when I'm being friendly.
You are a really good soul.
Your videos are always so good! You have a very calming presence, even when the video is this exciting!
I like how you tell your story. Its like making you nervous just talking about it and digging up all those gut wrenching awkward moments. Exactly how I tell mine. Just found out why you're the only youtuber I've subscribed to. Thanks for keeping it raw and real!
love this story, thanks for mentioning older gay ppl, meant a lot to me. Your experiences were similar to mine. great vid.
I grew up in a rural area 6 hours outside NYC. Immediately after graduation, I baked pot brownies and caught a bus to NYC. I ended up staying 3 days and going to a lot of clubs v and having a great time. Caught the bus back home; and when my mom asked about where I was; I just said 'at the lake for a weekend camping trip for a big graduation party with my friends'. She just said 'OK' and that ended the story of my first trip to many gay clubs. (I was an introvert who became an extrovert for that weekend,)
Andrew you're one of my favorite youtubers! I was just wondering if you have any stories of when you were coming out and being rejected from friends or family? I'm going through stuff like that right now and it's pretty emotionally tiring. You're awesome bro, thanks for being open about your life.
I am a few years older than you and I just want to say you are so right about being open to talk to almost anyone older or younger. So much wisdom can be gained and support can be shared by doing this. I thank every generation that came before us and the younger ones who are carrying on the fight for freedom! You could be a snob or selfish jerk but you are the opposite and I love you for that! Thank you, Andrew!
My story starts out with having gotten a speeding ticket 3 days prior to my first gay club experience. I went to the club with 2 friends as I too am introverted. It was very darkish in the place except for the bar and dance floor. I had to piss majorly when I got there. Not knowing any different I went in the bathroom and it was full like people talking and pissing and hanging out. So I went into a stall to do my business. Before I could pull the door shut a dude rushes in and shuts the door behind us. As I look him in the face it is the SAME STATE TROOPER who ticketed me!!! I thought holy christ I am going to prison now. I was 19 in a 21 club. God he was cute, even out of uniform. I went to say something and he put his finger to my lips and said SHHH and then he sat on the toilet and rocked my c*ck so hard I literally thought I would black out. Afterward he smiled and slipped out. It took me 15 minutes to get my head on straight to what just happened. Later that night as I was leaving with my friends he comes up and goes did you drive? I said um no my friends drove. He said well, since I know where you live how about you let me escort you home. I was in shock and stuttered ok sure. We went to his place, I spent the night, he took me home after breakfast the next morning and we dated for 5 years. The End. Oh, when we started dating I was 19 and he was 26.
Now I consider gay bars and clubs as places to hook up and I don't have that urge in my life so I find other outlets with friends to socialize.
Is this real ? It's like a fairytale! A good one!
Absolute bullshit
Fact: Beagles Are Best Regardless what I think let’s Enjoy the Story he he he
That is a beautiful love story that I have just read... I don't know why I have ended up here lol. But I don't care lol. Blessings from the UK xxxxxxxx
So my first time at the club, a drag queen approached my group of friends and just started a conversation with the table for like 30 minutes. The next time we went this person approached us and it was the queen out of drag. We talked some more and next thing I know, my first boyfriend was a drag queen. (Also, was not too into the drag scene when I first came out, but have since opened up to the idea) Start a conversation, you never know where it'll take you.
Great video Andrew.
I can only remember bits of my first and second visits to the gay bar in Dublin.
I DO remember being nervous and using the stalls the first few times in the bathrooms.
When I went to a bar that is now gone I do remember liking the music and the guys and the space more. It was easier to dance and have a laugh. Our scene here has shrunk a lot in recent years.
My first gay club experience was also in Memphis at an infamous bar called George's. i'm very disappointed at all of the negative comments I have read for this video. It seems that if you walk into a bar and you assume that people don't think you are attractive.... then they are automatically classified as "having attitude" me personally I do not require their approval or acceptance to have a good time and I think it is sad when people think that they do. Thank you Andrew this video exceeded my expectations.
Ah yes...Georges at 616 Marshall! Roxy, Sable, Michelle Marie, Melissa Mason and others. Five dollar beer blast till midnight then Purple Passions till last call.
Im still horrified to go to my first gay club xP
I need to try and go in 2017 :)
-Philip & Shawn
PSrecording Did you finally go to your first gay bar/club?
Honest to god you probably shouldn't be to scared to go my first time was freaking boring second time was better because my friend met up with his other friends I don't know about your area but all the bars in mine is like high school all in their little cliques
SleepingOak You live in Minneapolis? I think most gay bars, at least in larger cities, are in cliquish. I've been in many over the past 40 years. I'm a fairly confident individual and don't typically have a hard time striking up conversations with people I don't know, but Minneapolis was the toughest town to break into as far as acceptance.
PSrecording i
Nope Colorado
My favorite thing about Andrew is how relaxed he always is! (People like to mistake it for being boring) but he’s just a chill bro 🤘🏽
Wow! Brings back so many memories of my first time. Even the club name, but was located in Atlanta. Ended up having a great time and it was such an enlightening experience. Love your videos, such a lovely person.
Andrew, I'm just getting hip to your videos. I was blown away when you acknowledged the generations who blazed the trail we now enjoy. A very classy thing to say. As a studio musician, I started working NYC in the 1980s and was fortunate to have a fellow musician bring me to a couple gay clubs in NYC, including Stonewall for the first time. The generation before me blazed that trail (Stonewall riots) back in the 60s. 2019 is the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.
I recently talked to a guy who was at those riots and it was so amazing to hear his story and help me not take the more welcoming world, including gay marriage, that I enjoy for granted.
Thanks for another awesome video. It's easy to see why you're so successful....you're adorable for sure, but your approach to life and maturity at a young age is really what I find so interesting. Keep up the great work....
sarg patterson True Say & so well said , I'm guessing there are 60k + subs that would definitely agree with All this too... Inc ME !!!
andrew how did you become such a modest person its so adorably sweet and rare to see in people
I know this is an old post but gotta say once again you are endearing as hell.. the story rings so true and many of the feelings I had at my first club experience were incredibly similar to yours.., although I was alone and it was a bit scary...thanks for being so open and honest...
Your videos are always great. You just make people feel great and you have such similar experiences to a lot of us!
First, I think you underestimate what your good looks do for you in a gay social situation. It's your passport to talking/interacting. When you're not so good looking you get the cold shoulder .....even angry reaction unless you're in a club specializing in less than grade 10 folks. Second, in my experience the gay community is anything but accepting. If you're over 40 y/o you can kiss gay clubs goodbye. So that's only 14 years for you and you're not going to like the reaction you get in gay clubs after that.. I hate being so negative here cuz I know you don't like negativity, but I feel compelled to tell it like I've found it. I always feel like I'm in alien territory and it ain't fun.
TnDon sad but it seems to be true :/ I think the best way to experience a gay club is to take friends with you and having a fun night out and not caring what others think of you .
That's just any club tho...90% of the people in clubs are 18-28, it's the typical club scene. None of the older people I know go to clubs, even in their eyes clubs are for young adults (do what you wanna do I'm just sharing my experiences). And just because some people may have negative experiences with the gay community it's just NOT fair to say we're not accepting, saying stuff like that is working against ourselves.
I don't know; it's all about perspective. At 45, I really don't have much interest in clubbing anymore. I would rather spend the evening someplace that isn't a meat market and where I can carry on a conversation and actually hear what the other person has to say. I agree with Elijah Dimitrijević; the clubs are for the young-ins. It feels like alien territory to me because the "club scene" and the young guys who inhabit it are so far removed from my experience now. I'm married with a steady job and a regular sleep schedule. At 25 I was broke, kept odd hours, and hang-overs were a whole lot easier to recover from. The club was a good cheap time with friends, and usually ended with a "date". I liked the attention I got from the older gentlemen even if many were a little creepy in their incredibly intense and often transparent attempts to capture my notice. I get why a twenty-something would be suspicious of my attentions if I were to approach them. At the same time, I would be suspicious of a twenty-something's attention. The only difference is that I now have the emotional maturity to navigate that suspicion that I didn't have when I was in my teens and twenties.
yeah...it's sad but it's true though...you get judged very harshly in a gay club...if you're overweight and you don't have good looks, you might as well be invisible
An excellent statement of my POV exactly, John.
I remember my first club. I was 19. I got there at 9:30 lol. There was no one there. I was about to leave and the cutest guy walked in. I met him and his friends and I still know them 25 years later.
It's always a pleasure to watch your stories and the way you share that little part of your life and experiences make me to be jealous of the young people that nowadays they can find guys like you who can give some advices for their starting gay experiences, I would like to have had this when I was younger (now I'm 38). You are a very kind person, loves and hugs from Guadalajara Mexico.
Andrew this was a good video. The details are interesting because it show where you have been and how you have grown. It also will reach someone who needs to hear this from you because they are at a critical point. The details are also great because your reaction to the experience. It hard to believe you are introverted. I am sure people find hard to come up to you because you are attractive. Your comments about the older guys is so true.
Hi Andrew! What made you decide to move to Denver? I assume you were done with school at that point, so why did you choose Colorado as your new home? Thanks for being so positive all the time :) x
I love the welcoming vibe. Never been to a gay club, still don't want to, but this helped me feel welcomed. Thank you.
I love the great advice you have for the younger generation. You're right about older guys they're not always looking to hook up. Most of the time they're just looking for friends. Believe me some of my greatest friends are much older then I am and I have learned so much from them because they're the generation who has seen far more tragedy in the gay community then we have.
My first gay club was a pretty good experience. I think I stuck out like a sore thumb because the manager of the club came up to me and was very nice and kind of took me under his wing for the night and warned me who to watch out for and that club became my regular place to hangout for about 10 years. Over the years I became pretty popular and that's when I started exploring new gay bars and clubs. The ironic part about all this is I was like you, shy and quiet. I pushed myself to come out of my shell and break that quietness and shyness, so in a way going to the gay clubs and bars by myself helped me to be the outgoing man I am today. I've since stopped going because I started seeing way too much drama and too many kids being shallow and jaded. It started feeling like I was babysitting. Its unfortunate because the kids today will never know what's it's like to just have a conversation with someone and just hangout without always assuming someone is trying to sleep with them. I go to a local straight sports bar because there's no drama and I''m just hanging out. Pretty much what I used to do when I went to the gay clubs and gay bars minus the drama.
So that's my story. I hope You and Arbor have a fantastic week and stay warm. Bay Shore Long Island is getting a lot of rain tomorrow, Thursday Apr 6. ugh I love snow not rain. LOL.
Hey Andrew. It is amazing how I found your channel on TH-cam. You by far are the most sincere guy I have seen in TH-cam. I am sure people have said this before, but you have an very intense caring spirit. You definitely will make someone happy to be with you someday. Thank you for being so honest and open. I hope the new job is going well.
I'd like to know how do you take care of your skin, it looks so great
Probably easily gets mostly the sex he wants, unfair I know life sucks dick sometimes right but who cares
Hi. I'm sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to women. am i bi?
OMG *high five* I've never met another guy who was the same. I think we are bi. Because a bi person can be more attracted to one gender then the other and still be bi. I'll subscribe to you and send you an email of this bisexual video I saw off buzzed which added a little bit of clarity to me and you might like it to.
Joaquin Lomeli
yeah same here.
i sent you an email on your profile with 2 links. did you get it?
Joaquin Lomeli that's great. i hope they help 😊
Joaquin Lomeli
you're welcome 😊
what country are you in?
Joaquin Lomeli Australia. At least we have the same first letter for our countries ☺
Really enjoyed this video, miss watching your story times !! One of the main reasons I decided to subscribe a few months back.
love your message about being open and talking to ppl of all kinds!
I was 35 before I dared to go to GAY in London one night with a friend, it was a life changing experience for me. Walking into a big club with great music and a thousand gay guys dancing, I’d just never seen anything like it. I get the whole nervous and awesome feeling that you mention. Within weeks I had my first boyfriend and came out to my family and friends and never looked back. :-)
Thanks for sharing your experience Andrew. Love you♥
Great video Andrew. Q: how long has fitness been a passion of yours + would you consider doing a video on the subject?
Your message is spot on with me Andrew. I too enjoy talking to people of all ages. Being older ("Old Queen" as many of your fellow TH-camrs call us). I have seen so much in my lifetime and love sharing experiences with others. I wrote a book about my journey through the culinary world. You are as focused as I was back then and I owned my own Restaurant at age 33 and was executive chef at age 22. I learned so much just talking to people along the way. There is a big wonderful world out there beyond the doors of the current hot gay club. Enjoy it all!
Omg the fact that you didn't text him even though you wanted to represents me so well 😂
AJ W hi AJ
Andrew, first of all, I would like to say thanks for being positive and being you. I don't know how I just found your channel but I did and have been binging on your videos. Where were you when I lived in Denver? Oh, I know you hadn't been born yet.
My first gay bar experience was a lot like yours except we actually had a gay bar in my small southern city. Unlike you, I didn't have a friend to go with. I was scared to death and I guess it showed. Back then it was legal to drink beer at 18 and I will never forget this older man that brought me a beer, just handed it to me and said something like here think you need this. He never tried to hit on me but he kept an eye on me. I finally got up the nerve to take up the bar stool next to him thanked him for the beer. He asked e something like, is this your first time here and I answered something like is it that obvious? Looking back on it I'm sure it was. I just remember how nice he was. I would see him and talk to him and came to find out he was just lonely and wanted somebody to talk to. I learned a lot from that old man. Gay bars were about the only places we were able to be ourselves and even then growing up in the south, you had to be careful even leaving the bar. You're exactly right when you talk about those who came before us.They are the ones who made it better for all of us. So, thanks again for saying nice things and recognizing we are not all old trolls who just want to get in your pants.
You guys have it so much easier than I did. The internet wasn't even a thing when I was your age. It's refreshing to see that there are nice guys out there. To all the rest of you who may be reading this comment. You never know what someone is going through and sometimes just somebody who will take the time to talk with makes all the difference in the world. Just remember you might actually make it be old one day.
I'm so happy you mentioned also being an introvert! Anyways, Q&A for you: how to network/ maintain friendships when you're an introvert? also how do you get motivated towards goals in those days when it feels like you would need super powers just to leave your house?
Andrew, just recently discovered your channel. I love it. You must be the nicest, kindest guy on the planet! Thanks for what you do.
Damn Andrew, your channel is so wholesome, cute, and ripped, and damn, who ever your with/will be with, they’re real lucky
Amen.
Oh, GREAT! Now I'm curious about Jack hahahaha
that history for some reason was so cute
Great content, as usual! I love the story time videos. I'm an undergraduate student at Arkansas State, and a question that I have is, what was life as an undergrad like for you, and what steps did you take as an undergrad to help you become as successful as you are now?
another interesting story of your early gay youth. I enjoy all your stories, they are so heart felt and they resonant deeply with my early coming out . and you are still one of the cutest, an nicest gay guys on UTube. My best to you!
Such good advice Andrew. Go be welcomed and be welcoming. I'm much older than you and also was terrified the first couple of times. Partly because I cared too much about what other people would think of me.
I've never been to one and I'm 23 already! :(
We have Woody's up here, so by all rights, I should've gone already, but I get all anxious and sweaty and laugh like Lisa from the Simpsons whenever there's someone whom I find remotely attractive trying to talk to me.
If I never go to one and end up alone for the rest of my life, I have a back-up plan: become a nun somewhere, like in Iowa or something, and make butter. We'll have a café and serve "holey" bagels with the hand-churned butter.
Micky R. Lol this is so funny & cute I like your thinking...except for being single for life & your hand churned butter part (add joke here) Lol
Let's go together! I've never been to a gay club yet either lol
4jimmycurtis as Lex fitness often says 'It's Never 2 L8 2 change you're Life' except when it actually is...#RIP
lol my first time at a gay club was at the age of 24/5 ish. I'm 30 now and I've only been to gay clubs like 3 times in my life and it was just cause my friends wanted to go. It's not my type of place, I'm just a chill guy who isn't into the gay scene or the music they play there. I listen to a bit of everything but my primary scene is rock so IDK about Kesha, Gaga, Beyonce or the other stuff they were playing there lol. Don't feel like you are out of the loop, its not the only place to go to interact with gay people in person.
That' exactly what my friend told me too, hence my apprehension and procrastination lol
Question for Andrew's Q&Slay:
Andrew, I have been a subscriber for nearly a year now (a few weeks left!) and it has been incredible to watch you grow as a person and to see your TH-cam career & your career as a Doctor flourish...
So, what changes, particularly in your own personal growth, have you noticed over the past year?
Holy shit I love your videos please keep them up!!!!! The way you tell stories is just so captivating and give me butterflies in the best way possible.
love to see andrew smile...hype bro
Dude if I saw Andrew in a club i'd be so intimidated to talk to him. Also, what's your favorite healthy food Andrew?
love your story videos! hope you do more of these.
Q1: Who's your current celebrity crush that you'd like to date? (If you have one)
Q2: If you weren't an optometrist, what would your second ideal job be?
Q3: What is your biggest turn on and turn off on a guy?
I feel like you're an older brother who's giving me advice and stuff. New to your page, and so far I'm loving the content. Love the way you tell a story. Love all the way from Malaysia. ;)
Wow! Just discovered your videos. This brings back memories! My first gay club was "Splash" in NYC in 1999. I had just moved to the city and the coworkers at my new job wanted to take the the young straight guy (me... LOL!) to a gay bar. They thought it would freak me out. But I was totally in my element, unlike any straight bar I'd ever experienced. Right in front of everyone and to their surprise, I ended up making out with the hottest gogo muscle boy in the club. Not my classiest moment, but awesome nonetheless.
I wish someone told me "be welcoming and be welcomed" back when I started hitting the gay bar. I was definitely the bitchy guy for far too long, pushing everyone away but secretly thinking "omg he's so hot I can't believe he wanted to fuck me"...but then going home alone, of course. So many missed opportunities and connections with potentially great people because I was insecure and had a bad attitude. Your advice is great, man!
I'll be traveling to Denver for a work trip soon. Is there anything you suggest I do or try while I'm there?...P.S. I really enjoy your videos. Hope you have an awesome rest of the week.
Thank you for several times here giving credit to the older generation for paving the way for each later generation. Politeness in conversation will always be rewarded!
My first experience at a gay bar was a lot of dancing because I love to dance there was no kissing no exchange of numbers and definitely nothing sexual. But I had such a great time and felt so comfortable.
I live there. That place is everything you said it was.
You are an amazing inspiration to me, keep up the good work I find that your videos are just fantastic, xx
Andrew ,you have done it again ,a really good one. You always sound sincere. Thanks
Thank you for such a wonderful video. I can relate to that the only thing is that I was so nervous that when someone approached me I threw up. So embarrassing. I also went with a girl friend of mine a very close one and I only danced with her. She was my protector 🤣. Similar experience. You seem like a very nice and honest guy. Kudos to you!!
Not only seems. He IS!
Maybe not my first time but I was in my 30’s. My friend and I went and a guy talked to me. He wanted to hook up but I wanted to get to know him first. So he assumed that I wanted a relationship. No but I don’t want to get a disease from a stranger either. I want to live a long life if possible. No one else ever hit on me after that. 😞
For the Q & A: any advice for someone just getting into working out?? looking to get in shape then build some muscle
What hit me in my first gay club experience was seeing guys dancing together for the first time. It made me feel the same way you did seeing the kissing.
It was relatively hard to listen to the story because of how damn good looking you are! :P
8:19 I just fell in love! :-) Exactly why I LOVE your channel.
Spool266 I'm sure there is alottv truth in this & what U say...your experience & wisdom, But the times are always changing & the wind keeps on blowing.
So glad to see your views on the issues of meeting others. Most think of the bar as not a fun place to meet but a meat market or some sort of a grading contest. Will continue to watch your postings. Thank You.
I'm so glad I stumbled upon your post Andrew! Your post was so funny, enlightening, informative and adventurous. I've had no bad vibes at the clubs I've been in (gay or straight) . First experience in gay clubs was when I moved out from Philadelphia to LA IN '86. It was in '86/87 and the club was called RAGE. I tried to go the week before but was so scared I didn't go in! I mustarded up the courage to go in the week after and all I can say is 'WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG'!! It's just a club like so many others it just caters to MEN! 😃😃 I went inside looked around, ordered a drink, danced a little and explored a bit. I WENT IN LIKE I OWNED THE PLACE!! Inside scared outside like I was going to faint. I did meet a guy (his name greg) developed a crush on him (I was young, I'm 62 now) we talked it out and it wasn't meant to be then. For the record I have dated all kinds of men. Looking back GOD he was right! Many do end up alone some by choice, others because 'they' limit themselves' yeah 'THEY DO' ! Still other's because 'we' hook up with the wrong people without thinking things through. Greg and I remain great good buddy's with adventures galore however. Greg took me to all the clubs in West Hollywood. I explored clubs as well. GOOD TIMES!! Seen many changes good and bad, clubs come and go, relationships as well and to less of an extent people as well. Through it all I wouldn't change a thing (maybe one or two things 🙂☺). Andrew you're incredible dude!!! You're genius.
I got drunk and ended up with a striper sitting on my lap and asking me to look him up the next time I go to Houston.
I had the EXACT same fear of going into the bathroom when I went to my first gay club! I liked this video so much I made a response to it on my channel :D
Thank you for your comments about the generation or two before you. I came out in May of 1980 and my first gay bar was GEORGE'S in Memphis. It was tough for us with harrassment and equal treatment, but not as difficult as the 60's and 70's. All of us older men ( I'm 61 now) remember and celebrate what we suffered and accomplished for generations to come. Thank you for remembering us.
Well said. Made me remember my first club experience. Similar to your experience, but I was solo. I quickly felt at home in gay bars/clubs, where I always felts like an alien in a straight bar. Thank you for sharing.
my 1st gay club experience... i went with my sister and her friends (i was still not out) and we got very veeery drunk... a girl was making out with me and i just went along 😅 it was nooot good obviously because i'm gay haha. but it was a fun night, if you don't count the kiss. I felt very comfortable seeing everyone not being afraid to be gay, it was one of the 1st safe spaces for gays i've been, so after the night i felt very hopeful about my future.
any tips for starting TH-camrs? i love your content haha
Be passionate in what you are doing or it wont happen. Can you provide quality content consistently? Like will you be release content like once ever week or twice a week etc.. Will you spend time to edit it and find the right music. Are you camera shy? If you want to vlog or travel vlog are you confident in holding a camera to your face and constantly talking to it and not giving a fuck what other people think of you? Stuff like that.
You should make more of these "first time" videos! Or even the "my date with..." types also!
Good story to tell to anyone who wants to know how it feels. I'm one of those older guys who you think "paved the way" for you. I was in my 20's when Stonewall happened.I think you have the perfect attitude toward gay clubs. Good to know you would talk to anyone like me with grey hair becoming bald in my 70's. Love your videos, Andrew. I learn from you as well, even at my age.
"My 18 year old heart fainted" Me in 11 months. Reeeeee
How you doing bro?
@@kanikagupta9754 You know, I've grown so much in the past few years, I wanted so bad to meet people and have more experiences that I didn't understand where I was going. I'll be 20 and out of college soon. Having an experience and relationship was big then but it's so small now.
@@loveless1044 dont give up ! You will for sure find the right people. The world is getting polarized than ever before but its us that would bring the change. i come to term with my gender and sexuality at 15. I'll be 17 in 3 months. i used to have little hope because being trans and gay guy in indian society is worst. I kept that little hope alive. Hope, You will be good. --kozzie
Would you ever date a fan? Asking for a friend...
Ty Haley your friend is very attractive
Andrew .. another great video .. keep them coming bro .. ..
Thanks for acknowledging the gay community elders so to speak .. ..
I'm 24 and still haven't been, lol
I went to my first one when I was 25. Been three times since and I actually find it boring lol.
David Mitchell I'm 31
David Mitchell are you in Africa?
My first gay bar was last year i was 31, In Bangkok😂