Why Hoarders Need Our Compassion, Not Judgement

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 630

  • @krisvanallen
    @krisvanallen 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    This is how I remember: “stationEry” means “lEtters.” “StationAry” means it “stAys still.”

  • @violetgypsie
    @violetgypsie 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Interesting that most things in the fridge were parcelled up in plastic bags. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

  • @hummerfan9360
    @hummerfan9360 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    You and your Mom and the other girl are really something. You all deserve a medal. Wow.

  • @ashcraft555
    @ashcraft555 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    Middle age problems: Having trouble getting rid of empty boxes because they're like, really good boxes.
    I'm working on cleaning out my house in preparation for putting it on the market and I discovered I had "good boxes" squirreled away in every corner of the house. It took three full Suburban loads to take them to the recycling center, even with them all flattened. (And that was only the less good of the good boxes because I kept a decent amount for the move.)

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      That's hilarious! It's funny to find memes that talk about a good box. My friend and I will exchange pictures sometimes when we find a good box and drool over each other's boxes. 😂😂

  • @MSHoneybee210
    @MSHoneybee210 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    It’s a good mentality to have when getting out of this situation is that all this stuff means a chance to get to be abundantly generous. There are situations where essentials are REALLY needed. I help out with a group that twice a month has people lined up just to get a t-shirt and pants along with other items like shoes or coats, socks, etc and all these things come from donations. If someone can look at it as a privilege to get to be such blessing to people it makes it to have been worth it

    • @cat-mum-Jules
      @cat-mum-Jules 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      That is a really good way of thinking 😀

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Yes, I totally agree this is the best way to get rid of things.🤗 This is how my friend, Tisha, has been able to get rid of so much stuff is by giving it to people who need it because I usually run across people who need the stuff that she is getting rid of and, if there isn't a specific person to give it to, just donating it to the thrift store is even a good feeling because you know people are getting nice things at a reduced cost. I totally understand she wants to sell as much as she can to try to recoup some of the money she spent, but I hope that she is able to donate the things that don't sell so that she is not bringing those items back into her home and can bless the lives of other people. I think that might be the key to helping her let go of some of this is pointing out that she is providing a service to others because she really does like helping other people and maybe she hasn't really thought about the fact that she can just give this stuff away as a charitable thing to do. Love it!❤️❤️

  • @consolw
    @consolw 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You are amazing! Yes I watched till the very end because I am just gobsmacked that anyone can live like this, and in awe that you have sufficient empathy to come in and clean in those conditions. I have to admit I don’t understand how hoarding disorder works and do understand that there is some mental illness involved, but…hoarding is one thing, filth is another. My worry is that you will have spent all that time cleaning and in a months time it will be the same again. But you are amazing, you truly are.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Wait until you get to the last one in this series. It definitely took everything out of me mentally. 😮‍💨I could have sorted and organized for months on end, but without her actually getting some real therapy for the hoarding, I don't think anything will change. Perhaps eviction will be the wake-up call she needs because I don't think she's going to be able to avoid it.

  • @zerocasualteas
    @zerocasualteas 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Bonnie, you are doing such a great job & are so understanding & patient! I love how much you help others! ❤

  • @MSHoneybee210
    @MSHoneybee210 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Since humans are animals something that we all have is this tendency of being like squirrels storing our nuts. I guess the more survival or traumatic events, the urge to store nuts is greater

  • @dwt20125
    @dwt20125 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    It must be so hard for the hoarder to live like this but very hard for husband/ family .

    • @LadyAurora10
      @LadyAurora10 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Unfortunately the guilt doesn't cure hoarding problem. No more than it would cure depression.

  • @tahirihwalsh6217
    @tahirihwalsh6217 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    The after shot of the kitchen - wow!!! Amazing job. Your mom is awesome btw. And so are you of course! ❤

  • @wendygrelik6373
    @wendygrelik6373 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Haha, Bonnie! I just realized that the back of your shirt says “I’d rather be WATCHING PEOPLE cleaning.” I didn’t see the “watching people” part until you were cleaning out the fridge, and your back was turned to the camera a lot more! Love it!! 🤣🤣

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      😁Yep, that was intentional so that I can have it in my merchandise shop when I have that up and going in hopefully the next couple of weeks. I think most people would rather be watching people clean.😉 But there are a few of us crazy ones who would rather be cleaning.🤷‍♀️😅

  • @jaindeau772
    @jaindeau772 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Bags of bags! Yep! I tried to help a friend declutter her house and knew I was in over my head when I realized that the bags of bags were carefully bundled - AND DATED! Two tall boxes blocking one hallway, and another one in a corner elsewhere in the house. I was told they’re “needed.” Never mind that with every trip to the store, they were bringing in more. At 5c/bag where we live, they must have hundreds of dollars worth of bags - not kidding!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      That's too funny! I can't believe she had them boxed and dated.😱 I also have a lot of shopping bags, but after they don't fit in the space that I have designated for them, I start getting rid of them. I think that's the key to limiting the amount of any item is picking a space for it and, once that space is filled, that's all you get to keep. That's something I have always done naturally, so I'm always surprised when that's not a natural habit for a lot of people.

    • @josephdaly2015
      @josephdaly2015 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I understand the bags of bags because I have done it myself and still do to a lesser degree now. I either take the extras to the charity shops or a local store and they are very grateful for them. A plastic bag in Ireland is 22 cent. You all did fantastic work with all the different categories of items including the bags of bags and putting in such a long day too. The fridge looks great. I’ve watched A Hoarders Heart for several years and she gives a great insight to hoarding too. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇‍♀️👏💪👍🙏💐🛍

    • @amara560
      @amara560 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@josephdaly2015I agree! Whenever I have stuff for the charity shop I fill a superfluous plastic bag. Great way to get rid of and re-purpose.

  • @meredith-akatc8080
    @meredith-akatc8080 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    I don’t understand why you don’t have more followers. You’re one of my favorites. Just keep going you’re great at what you do. Just know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be ❤❤

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Awww, that's so nice of you. I'm actually pretty thrilled I already have almost 45,000 subscribers in less than 10 months. When compared to Mack, that's not much, but when it takes most TH-camrs about five years to get 10,000 subs, I feel like it's going pretty well. Plus, the stuff I've learned over the last year has been priceless. 😊

    • @angelarothbauer8096
      @angelarothbauer8096 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Mack is a legend lol you are doing great

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Right?! He is definitely an anomaly. I think his advantage is that he has never really masked his oddities as an autistic, but as a female autistic, I think it's a little harder to unmask and show some of that odd behavior. I did a little bit in this video and hopefully I can get more and more comfortable with that because that really is how I am a lot of the time, but it feels really weird to show the world that side of me since really only my family usually sees that because I try to fit in with society outside of my home and tone down my weirdness. But, it seems when I do let a little of that side show, people like it because I think there are a lot more people than we realize that have that weird side to them that we never see, so I hope it makes others feel comfortable being a little more themselves. Anyway, I have basically written a novel here when I really could have just responded with, "Right? Mack is awesome!"😁

    • @angelarothbauer8096
      @angelarothbauer8096 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp - I have an autistic son - he’s 40 now-it’s just a different way of seeing the world- we all have our issues trust me - love your channel

    • @meredith-akatc8080
      @meredith-akatc8080 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp I didn’t know that. So I guess congratulations then. Way to go. 👏👍❤️

  • @ElenaVexler
    @ElenaVexler 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I did such a nice pile of laundry while watching this 😊
    Also, had a laugh when you said you saw a corner of the table and then the table is round 😅

  • @annw1395
    @annw1395 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I can't imagine trying to sort, tidy, and clean in a place like that! There's nowhere to work! You are an angel! I'd be like, can't you see that you have 10,000 towels, and nowhere to put them?

  • @karenmikasko7148
    @karenmikasko7148 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    You are doing such a great job and so is your Mom....she is a worker for sure. Now .... that fridge...I would have just tossed it all and bought her new stuff.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Thank you so much! As for the fridge, I wish I could have just tossed it all and bought her new stuff, but I think that would have been really traumatic for her because, if there is anything that's still good in there, it feels very wasteful to her, which I understand on some level, but the way a hoarder thinks about it is on a whole other level.

  • @teresatillotson5561
    @teresatillotson5561 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I need to have you clean my fridge that looks amazing. Loved the little video so funny. Your mom is so sweet , you guys make a great team. Keep up the amazing, wonderful and uplifting job you do😁

  • @sweetpea6987
    @sweetpea6987 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You are a Wonderful person, I just imagined what that fridge must have smelled like. Leaving things in the shopping bags and just shoving it in the fridge is a sure way to lose food. So happy you are helping these people.

  • @Yukon33
    @Yukon33 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I love the sped up sounds. I prefer them to random music! I feel satisfied hearing them, it's like a high energy boost :D

  • @karenfelska4735
    @karenfelska4735 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Love your work here and I don't mind the noise in sped up video. If I find it a little irritating I just turn down the volume!! Problem solved 😂😂😂❤

  • @alwaysthesleepless1
    @alwaysthesleepless1 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    What patience you show the homeowner, what a mammoth task. Well done to all of you.

  • @rebeccaashton5390
    @rebeccaashton5390 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    You are amazing and so is your Mom. I lol at the movie.

  • @kellyanne7225
    @kellyanne7225 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I can totally relate with wanting to keep empty boxes.
    They’re too functional looking to throw away, right? I get it!
    Well, my husband and I agreed, they had to go.
    Then, 2 months later, (ago) we decided to downsize and sell our home. Now today, we will grab a bunch of huge boxes to start packing! 😂

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It's a good thing there are so many of us box hoarders around so that, when you decide to get rid of boxes, there is always someone eager to take them and, when you need boxes, you can usually just look in the free section on Facebook or something and find a box hoarder getting rid of theirs. 😂😂They are so useful!!

  • @SandraNelson063
    @SandraNelson063 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You deserve the Medal of Valor for tackling that fridge. Sulis Minerva!

  • @joannnewton5979
    @joannnewton5979 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I give you so much credit for working with the home owners. That can be very difficult and frustrating at times.👍👍👍

  • @catwood7035
    @catwood7035 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Your old-time movie was hilarious! Those covers are monsters to put on. It looked great at the end.

  • @LazyDaisyDay88
    @LazyDaisyDay88 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +94

    I really admire what you do! I find myself getting angry with hoarders. I know its a mental health issue but they never seem to want to be treated and they put their family though so much misery. I'm impressed with how calm and compassionate you and your mom are.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      I have had moments of frustration, for sure, but overall, mostly I just feel sad that this is such a struggle for them. 😞

    • @CAGChannel1
      @CAGChannel1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

      Watch Midwest magic cleaning. So so compassionate and explains so much, and just oozes understanding and teaching that understanding to the world.

    • @labradorite8256
      @labradorite8256 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      I've noticed a lot of mental health disorders seem to be triggered by trauma.
      I think hoarding might be a kind of OCD. I saw a show about it and the brain scans of those with OCD are different to neurotypicals. Maybe the brain trying to protect itself against the trauma, but Its actually making things worse? Terrible to be locked inside yoir own brain like that.

    • @Dwd63
      @Dwd63 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      When a hoarder asks for help they have to be willing to let stuff go otherwise nothing changes and no matter how patient you are it’s a waste of time. I think therapy is often needed. I do feel sad for other members of the family. This was a great one and a big difference was made x

    • @Hayden-rc1ru
      @Hayden-rc1ru 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Same. I've been watching cleaning channels for a few months, but while it's satisfying to watch, it also makes me irrationally angry sometimes. Probably because I grew up in a hoarder house and developed an obsessive need for cleanliness since. I know hoarding is a neurological disease, and so on, I watch Magic West Cleaning so I heard him talking about that stuff, but I can't get past it. He's right, while I wouldn't shovel everything into the trash like some people say, I also wouldn't go and do the work, so I keep my mouth shut and just watch them do it. I have nothing nice to say, so I say nothing and lurke in silence.

  • @Emillly3
    @Emillly3 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Holy cow that fridge with the bags!! I’ve never seen those used like that. That house is so overwhelming bc it’s not gross it’s just tons and tons of stuff. I love the happy atmosphere y’all had! That has to be so encouraging to the family. You guys are amazing!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Yes, that was my first time seeing shopping bags used like that in the fridge. It was kind of helpful though to contain what was kept in them so that, if they did leak anything, it didn't get everywhere. But that's probably also part of the problem is that you can't see what is in your fridge so you forget what's there.🤷‍♀️😊

    • @madzabinga8382
      @madzabinga8382 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Well, areas of neglect seem to get pretty gross.

    • @duanagayle
      @duanagayle 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp i think using those kind of bags in the fridge keeps what is in them hidden, thus less likely used. out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.

  • @jenniferlashley2081
    @jenniferlashley2081 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Great job! Love your mom! I enjoyed the "movie" of putting on the couch cover - making a humorous "Keystone Cops" type of film was a great idea! Looking forward to the next video!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank you!

    • @johnkelly9451
      @johnkelly9451 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      We loved that video too! It just goes to show how difficult a sheet with the elastic is to put on anything sometimes! Great job mom and Bonnie!

  • @sarahperry7995
    @sarahperry7995 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I am a minimalist and this video is giving me anxiety. I would have gotten rid of everything single thing.
    Great job having patience and compassion. I simply could not do this.
    Oh that fridge! 😮 Great job cleaning it out!
    Every time I watch one of your videos I go on a cleaning rampage!!!

    • @hushhush85
      @hushhush85 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Cleaning rampage 😅 hilarious

  • @chamaliegodagamage4847
    @chamaliegodagamage4847 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wow, your mum is such a hard worker! (As are you and all the helpers you've had on this clean). What an amazing, kind effort. Well done!

  • @justjoanish
    @justjoanish 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your mom vacuuming the couch is slaying me. 😂

  • @MaylaJ.
    @MaylaJ. 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Love all of this Bonnie. What a great transformation on both rooms. Also love how you and your Mom work together.

  • @cindykoehn7680
    @cindykoehn7680 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    As I see the plastic shopping bags go I 😢! In 🇨🇦 we got rid of one use plastic, we don’t get plastic bags anymore 😭 I have to say you handled cleaning the fridge with her like a champ. BTW a your Mom is hilarious! There’s a special place in heaven for you Mack, Barbie, your Mom……. Keep the videos coming 🥰

    • @evelynsaungikar3553
      @evelynsaungikar3553 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yeah, I wish I could get those. I use them for trash, now I have to buy single purpose kitchen trash bags, so we’re no farther ahead!

    • @louisedillon6797
      @louisedillon6797 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You from New Jersey?

    • @cindykoehn7680
      @cindykoehn7680 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@louisedillon6797 no Canada 🇨🇦

    • @Heymrk
      @Heymrk 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I try not to get them all the time, but they're great for cleaning the litter box.

  • @pamela5568
    @pamela5568 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I appreciate the honesty from other commenters. Here's mine. Way before my home became like this I'd have told my spouse to get in counseling and start cleaning up now, or they can live there as a single person. The abuse hoarders inflict on others is just not okay. I hope you'll do an update on this house, I'm cheering for them, but with doubt.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'm getting bits of the story of this woman and her family each time I go, and it's all pretty complicated. I can't really disclose all of the information I know, but it is a very complicated history, lots of back-to-back traumatic events. She is in counseling, though I don't know if it is specifically for the hoarding or just the trauma. I can't really say one way or the other what I think they should do because I'm sure I only know a very small portion of what's going on. I just try to get them to a more manageable state and hopefully take one stressor out of their lives so that they can focus on healing. It is infuriating at times, and I'm not even family, so I can't even imagine how I would deal with this as a family member, but I know she has no intention of hurting them.
      And, to be honest, I am starting to have some doubt that we can get the house back to a manageable state because, so far, she hasn't gotten rid of much of anything. We are just organizing it into categories, but until she can let go of some of this stuff, it's not going to change. Supposedly, this weekend, she will be having a big yard sale to get rid of stuff. We shall see...🤔

  • @jemreandeau3583
    @jemreandeau3583 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    Amazing job as usual, you and Mac are so lovable. Loved the Laurel and Hardy video. 😊❤

  • @salscycleshop3416
    @salscycleshop3416 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love your mom she's so funny and its great seeing the two of you together. What a phenomenal job all of you ladies did as well as the homeowners 🎉

  • @dalornaballard9329
    @dalornaballard9329 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hellooo Bonnie great video.

  • @valeriespackman4019
    @valeriespackman4019 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I think the thing I like best about your videos is that you involve the people gat you’re helping. It makes it trickier to film, but it just makes so much more sense.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yes, there is that balance between wanting them to help because I think they have a higher chance of success when they are helping, but it can be very tricky working with the homeowner right there. There have been days working at this house that I was able to work in another room more on my own so the filming was a little easier and there were less distractions, but she is still plugging along in another room sorting through boxes and bags that we are giving her.
      Thanks for your support!💕🙏

  • @tetedur377
    @tetedur377 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I came here from the collab video with You, Barbie, and Midwest Magic, ol' what's-his-name.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I don't think anyone knows his real name.😁 I'm not even sure if Mack is his real name or if he is going to come out someday and tell us all that he has been playing a big joke on us and his real name is Robert or something.🤔 Regardless, I'm glad you're here!😊❤️❤️

  • @MollyJoAnn
    @MollyJoAnn 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I adore your mom, so sweet and such a lively lady for her age! ❤

  • @LB-ht1qk
    @LB-ht1qk 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    When you were talking about words like stationary and stationery, it brought back a childhood memory of never being able to remember which spelling went with which definition and checking my dictionary each time!

  • @CatMom4704
    @CatMom4704 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Sofa slipcovers are a nightmare to figure out 😂😂

  • @colinchick2692
    @colinchick2692 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was impressed that the husband was helping. As you say it must be very distressing to live with a hoarder and he must have run out of patience many a time but he is still there helping with the task in hand.

  • @victoriaboerschinger2891
    @victoriaboerschinger2891 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    I normally find the HOA policies to be very restrictive and unreasonable but I totally agree with a HOA policy that prevents homes, property, pets and people from being ruined or destroyed by a hoarding situation. You all are doing an excellent job and should be very proud of yourselves. Keep up the great work. 🥳😘

    • @MireVale
      @MireVale 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I wish hoarding was more seriously regulated because it’s such a fire hazard and danger to EMTs that have to enter a house.

    • @LB-ht1qk
      @LB-ht1qk 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I agree and because this is a duplex, the fire hazard and insect infestation are paramount.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Yes, I totally agree. It's hard to explain to someone with hoarding disorder that they aren't being picked on, but that these kind of regulations are in place for, not only their safety, but the neighbors as well.

    • @jamiedecker3234
      @jamiedecker3234 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah like because of the hoa intervention this house is going to get fixed up before it gets even more overwhelming. Also so many hoarded house become destroyed after years of things piling up and fixtures being unreachable if they're broken or leaking. Because she was forced to clean this up by the hoa she probably will revert because cleaning the house doesn't treat the hoarding disorder and the root of why she's hoarding. I hope that she is able to keep things safe after you're done because living in a house full of stuff to a point where you can't comfortably walk through it has to be stressfu.

  • @KatMayeux-fd5it
    @KatMayeux-fd5it 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Bonnie, you and your team are champs! Your Mom is adorable
    I don’t doubt a genetic predisposition to hoarding. Is it nature or nurture?
    My husband, retired Air Force flight engineer and mechanic, always says… it’s a combination of things that come together just at the right time to cause an accident, incident or situation.
    So does she have genetics? Trauma? Modeling from parents? Or perhaps all?
    Nobody knows 🤷🏻‍♀️
    Best to proceed with caring and kindness

  • @angelarothbauer8096
    @angelarothbauer8096 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Wow thanks for the info on chromosome 14 - I watch Mack but don’t remember hearing this so Yay

  • @Rachel-ul8et
    @Rachel-ul8et 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This is lovely! I also have been enjoying a hoarders heart. I will always be a recovering hoarder. She does a great job dealing with her hoard. It’s inspiring how she speaks to herself. If you are watching this lady in the video, check her out. It’s great. Also, Marie Kondo.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I actually told her she should go check out A Hoarder's Heart. I think it would be great for her to hear advice straight from another hoarder.

    • @RadCenter
      @RadCenter 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Remi Clog is another great channel,@@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp. She has ADHD and cleans for people who have health challenges also.

    • @MSHoneybee210
      @MSHoneybee210 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Minimal mom is an awesome one too

  • @angelacacace3705
    @angelacacace3705 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Watching everything get hyper cleaned is kind of fun 😊

  • @raeofsunshine_smith
    @raeofsunshine_smith 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Bonnie! You are such an angel, with so much compassion, and understanding! xoxo

  • @nancycosgrove4005
    @nancycosgrove4005 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Truly remarkable!!!!!!

  • @solutions-craft-decor
    @solutions-craft-decor 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I would give up body parts to do this with my mom, you are so lucky.

  • @valeriecoon5930
    @valeriecoon5930 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Bonnie I just love your videos. They are a nice combination of sped up and normal speed and you're humility is so charming.

  • @shannonkaypaperieshannonja1918
    @shannonkaypaperieshannonja1918 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    You are a saint to be able to clean out that fridge with the owners standing behind you offering running commentary. A saint for sure.

  • @suewilkinson910
    @suewilkinson910 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    One more thing I want to say is that I am currently clearing out my parents house. They lived there for 65 years and never thew anything away. Dad died and we built mum a little home in our garden where she is comfortable and safe. I would not let her bring much of anything with her that wasn't essential or for fun. But the clearance job is soul destroying and exhausting. It's taken me months because I just don't want to go. I am doing it all on my own, whilst looking after her more than I had realised was going to be necessary and trying to work at my business, and I struggle with hypothyroidism so get quickly exhausted.
    The hidden part of working in all this mess and old stuff is the dust. It's everywhere. I feel dried up when I leave. My lungs feel the same. It often gives me a headache and makes me flush as my body tries to deal with the histamine flare. We don't see any of that in a cleaning channel. We see the mess and dirt, but you really have to feel it all over and inside your body to really appreciate the amazing work you do. I can't wait to finish. I don't think I have too far to go now. Just the terrible task of the loft and dad's garage and garden store and a few more odds and ends. But then I will have to take the carpets up and that's going to be a mask wearing job. Everyone, on YT or just quietly in the background, who takes on this sort of work to help people are amazing.

    • @suewilkinson910
      @suewilkinson910 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      And yes, mum had bags and bags and bags stuffed with bags! And bags of pieces of scrap cardboard to write on despite having loads of notebooks. And everything was stored in a carrier bag done up with a plastic clip!

    • @beckiejani7782
      @beckiejani7782 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Watch out for mold in these situations, too.
      While not a hoarder, I do have more than I need and am working on it so I don't leave a problem for my kids.

    • @suewilkinson910
      @suewilkinson910 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@beckiejani7782 I don't seem to have found much mould. There will be some behind some of the bigger furniture I'm sure, but the furniture is going out last and I will be getting house clearance in to do it. So that won't really be my concern. I will speak to an estate agent at that point and see if they think I should do anything more to it or just leave it. No one is going to buy and just move in. It needs stripping back too the brick and starting again.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That is the saddest thing to me about hoarding or even just having way more stuff than we need. You can't take it with you when you die, and then it just leaves a burden for your kids. That's why I love the concept of Swedish death cleaning and not leaving this sort of mess for your kids to deal with. I want them to have good memories of me, not that I left them with a huge burden.
      I'm glad you are getting to the point of almost being done. That sounds like a huge task!

  • @cherryboo65b56
    @cherryboo65b56 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My mom was a neat hoarder and my dad was a not neat hoarder. After health problems and a bad marriage I became a semi neat hoarder. I’m trying read to do my last bag of mail. I shredded 4 bags already. Yes I clean. Yes I try to keep order but at times I just can’t. 😊

  • @bearfog07
    @bearfog07 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Hi, Bonnie and mum! Wow that was some amazing work you just did. When you said you used to be a gymnast, that explains why you look so slim and agile ( not to mention all the cleaning of course, lol) Thanks also to your other helper!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      LOL! That was over 30 years ago that I was a gymnast, but, yes, I have always tried to stay active. In fact, sitting and doing nothing is one of the worst things that I can imagine.😁 Relaxing is very hard for me.🤪

    • @bearfog07
      @bearfog07 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp I know what you mean, Bonnie, I get bad back and hip pain if I sit around. I like to get something done each day.

  • @JOSIE19643
    @JOSIE19643 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    WOW !! You guys worked like crazy !! Great job !! 👏👏👏👏👏👍 ❤🇨🇦

  • @lhleehernandez108
    @lhleehernandez108 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Interesting comment about the hereditary factor of hoarding. My mom was a hoarder my sister is a massive hoarder and thankfully I was able to break that cycle on my own. It hurt but I did it!

  • @marshatubbs2360
    @marshatubbs2360 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Great job to not only you, but everyone that was there helping... coming together to help someone who needs it.👏👏👏 keep up the awesome job!

  • @cherylkoski-pe8gw
    @cherylkoski-pe8gw 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I am in awe of your work!

  • @leannekirk74
    @leannekirk74 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Loved loved loved the funny little film in the middle....I laughed so much 😂😂😂
    Gosh this home is overwhelming, I can't wait to see more progress!

  • @sandrafaith
    @sandrafaith 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    9:05 As I saw on Twitter once: _In Paul Rudd's attic, there's a painting of Paul Rudd. It also looks flawless._ 😂
    Fantastic work as always!

  • @lauraharshbarger9486
    @lauraharshbarger9486 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    Your mom is just the cutest! I love it when she helps you.

  • @stephaniefinley7833
    @stephaniefinley7833 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    😂 You are delightful! Your comments (and your mum's) had me cracking up!!!!!

  • @TRGillett
    @TRGillett 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thoroughly enjoyed -- entertaining and informative! ⭐ Not sure what my favorite part was?
    #1) Your mom mentioning that it's like Christmas (never know what's in the box). 😄
    #2) The "Go Momma" chant. (Would have been even better if we could see you do the dance with it.) 🤣
    #3) "The Movie!" 😂 That was even more entertaining than the fridge conundrum during your colab with Mack & Barbie. 😂
    💜💛💜 -- Your #1 Beautiful Messer 😍

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      This was definitely my favorite video to put out for all of those reasons. I feel like I'm finding my groove.😁

  • @frealafgb
    @frealafgb 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You guys made a huge difference to all 3 rooms. The stuff in the living and dining room is so much less, without throwing anything away that she wanted to keep. Fantastic job already, and I can't wait to see how much more of an improvement the end result is!❤

  • @aprilknerr4443
    @aprilknerr4443 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The fridge... glad you did that.

  • @daisymcneill3787
    @daisymcneill3787 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I just happened upon your videos quite by accident - and I think you are an absolutely wonderful person with a beautiful mission to help others. I cannot imagine the lives you have impacted and changed for the better with your selfless gift of time and energy to help improve their lives. Thank you and God bless.

  • @CammyHell
    @CammyHell 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I’m not sure why it drives people crazy to have the voices sped up because I like it. I think it’s funny no matter what speed. My really early videos are sped up like Mickey Mouse and I cracked myself up 😂

  • @maddie1519
    @maddie1519 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Oh my God yes the chalk was the worst part every time I saw that stupid Chalk I was like why do we have to do this that's gotta be another solution, that chalk would freak me out!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      They had those hand things that went over your ring and middle finger to protect them and I remember thinking I had found my answer to not having to use chalk. However, my coaches still wanted me to put chalk on those. I used as little as possible. Even talking about chalk right now makes me cringe.😬

  • @shawntennant9049
    @shawntennant9049 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I give you & all the credit for being able to do this. My anxiety spikes just watching this. It takes me twice as long to watch the entire video as I stop it several times to either clean something or declutter something

  • @Cindy-cq8zr
    @Cindy-cq8zr 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Goodness! You all did a lot of hard work! Lots of progress!

  • @kristinemadsen295
    @kristinemadsen295 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wonderful job! 💜

  • @helenatkinson4730
    @helenatkinson4730 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    That black and white movie of the couch cover was hilarious! I was laughing out loud. You all did an amazing job in that dining room. I'm not sure how anyone can stand to take all that rotten stuff out of a refrigerator. However, I know I have seen worse in other videos. Much, much worse. As far as the HOA goes I'm not saying whether I agree or disagree with their policies. I was just surprised that they knew anything about the inside of the house. They still would not have known if the owner had not agreed to let them in. I doubt they could have gotten any kind of a legal search warrant. However, it's much more understandable for them to get involved in a duplex type of situation.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah, I'm not sure about all the legalities of the HOA involvement, but once I thought more about it being a duplex and having your neighbor actually connected to your house it does make sense that someone needs to check on these kinds of things so that it doesn't become a hazard for the neighbor as well.

  • @Zombie-adventures
    @Zombie-adventures 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Bonnie you’re doing awesome!
    Is that all the same silverware pattern she collects?
    It seemed to me that she wanted to touch every item and relive the memories it brought. How did you deal with slowing down the process to accommodate this, and also the distraction?

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      She goes to thrift stores and buys silverware to try to make an entire set. There are a lot of vintage silverware sets that she has and they are actually really beautiful, but wait until you see the entire corner of her basement it fills up once we get it all together. We still keep finding it in every room and that pile becomes bigger and bigger. 😱I'm sure she has tens of thousands of dollars worth of silverware. If you can get an entire set of the Vintage silverware, it's worth about $500, so that's what she really wants to do if we can get a space cleaned up for her downstairs to properly sort through it and match things up.
      As far as her wanting to touch every item, it might look like that in the video, but it actually wasn't like that with every item. Most of the stuff we could organize into different piles, but there were just a few things we were unsure about and I also wanted to show my viewers the types of things that we were finding just as an example, so those are the parts you are seeing and it makes it look like she has to approve every item we touch, but that wasn't necessarily the case. We got into a rhythm, and after the initial first couple of days, I was able to break off into other rooms and be a little bit more on my own, so it wasn't as distracting. That stuff will be shown in future videos.

  • @teraphIl1000
    @teraphIl1000 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    The fridge cleaning was very satisfying to watch!

    • @sydneybeanpug
      @sydneybeanpug 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      yes it was but if the fridge wasn't working (I thought I heard her say that) then I wouldn't be keeping anything in there.

  • @debby891
    @debby891 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Bless your heart for your compassion and dedication to helping others, awesome job!

  • @sheilacaine
    @sheilacaine 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    CAN YOU SAY BAGS, BAGS, BAGS AND BAGS AND MORE BAGS. IM SORRY THAT DROVE ME BAGGIE. 😂😂😂😂 Wow I think when I get up tomorrow I’m throwing every bag I have away and I don’t have that many. 😂😂😂😂 Great job all of you. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Mmolesy
    @Mmolesy 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My dad is a hoarder. Whereas I developed a passion for clean, clutter free spaces. My husband tends to hang on to things more than I do. But he's learning to let go. Currently going through a massive declutter and clean and he hasn't complained yet.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's so interesting that it seems to be one extreme or the other when you have relatives who hoard. Either you hoard as well, or you become the complete opposite. I'm glad you ended up the opposite.❤️

  • @lindsayjohnson7536
    @lindsayjohnson7536 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Bonnie, you and your mom have the same smile!😊❤

  • @MoniqueFerlattePaiement
    @MoniqueFerlattePaiement 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I found that the You Tube channel ''A Hoarders Heart'' gave me a good insight of how a hoarder thinks and what techniques helped her to go from a Level 4 hoarder (scale 1-5) to a Level 1. Her videos started about 5 years ago. Good to watch from the start.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I actually mentioned to her that she should start following that channel. I listen to an interview with her that was very insightful and have watched a couple of her videos just to understand the hoarding mindset a little better. I think she would be very helpful for "Julie."

  • @britaccent4352
    @britaccent4352 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I don’t know if I knew you are autistic, but I had to nod when you said it because of your “stationary” comment, and then needing to quit gymnastics because of the feel of the chalk. Both my daughter and my son are on the spectrum, and after I’ve learned more about autism, I really think I’m on the spectrum, too. I wasn’t allowed to have anything attention getting as a kid, so I learned to mask so much of myself. Really appreciate you putting yourself out here on your channel and with these folks that need your invaluable help! And I love your mom is involved as well!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      If you have children on the Spectrum and suspect that you are as well, it's very likely that you are. I talk about my diagnosis in another of my videos right after I found out. I didn't know that there is a genetic component to it and, it wasn't until my 21-year-old daughter told me I was told she was probably autistic by her psychiatrist, that I decided to go get tested. I'm so glad I did because there are so many things that make a lot more sense now. I have also learned a lot more about autism since and how females are much better at masking, which is why it goes undetected a lot of times for females. I'm pretty good at acting neurotypical, but that's definitely not natural for me. It's been nice to be able to unmask a little bit and be a little bit more my weird self. 😁

  • @brendaeiler
    @brendaeiler 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Super job with all the help you had. Hopefully she can get on the right track. God bless her heart.

  • @michelleflynn4288
    @michelleflynn4288 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Nice job. Huge undertaking

  • @alonys
    @alonys 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The first time I saw one of your vids I thought "no way this is real", not because of the mess but because you are so beuatiful I was sure you are an actress.

  • @droberts77
    @droberts77 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hi Bonnie, this was a fun video. I admire your drive and joy in cleaning for the people that need you!

  • @AndiE-pq6xp
    @AndiE-pq6xp 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Holy cow amazing!!!

  • @CammyHell
    @CammyHell 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Lmao😂 yea his car vacuuming was hilarious

  • @bethcanada7375
    @bethcanada7375 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You are fantastic for all you do to help this family. God Bless you for all you do.

  • @meredith-akatc8080
    @meredith-akatc8080 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You're so sweet. I really, really appreciate the donation! Thanks so much!❤️🙏

    • @meredith-akatc8080
      @meredith-akatc8080 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp ❤️

  • @Sneakerfever1
    @Sneakerfever1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wow! What a difference!

  • @dennisrecktenwald386
    @dennisrecktenwald386 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I understand the go mama go mama phrase. You three ladies did a great job and had fun working together.

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      So the question is, do you recognize it from 50 Cent or from the original Miami Bass DJ? Because I knew this little Jam in the late 90s and I was so confused when I saw that the 50 Cent song didn't come out until like 2003. The only reason I really know it is because a co-worker of mine used to sing it all the time in like 98-ish and I guess it's originally from a song by Miami Bass DJ called The Birthday Jam, but wasn't super popular until 50 Cent used it in their song.

    • @dennisrecktenwald386
      @dennisrecktenwald386 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Definitely the Miami Bass DJ, it’s a catchy phrase and hard to get out of your head. Never heard the 50 Cent version. I thought it was a nice rendition by you. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @latiamary5214
    @latiamary5214 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    👏🏻👏🏻👍

  • @tx_s
    @tx_s 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Great job everyone!

  • @jlaurelc
    @jlaurelc 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    24:06 - I think you're absolutely right about speeding it up more so we're not trying to make out the conversation. As someone with sensory issues specifically around people speaking, that solved the problem for me!

  • @tinacocoalab
    @tinacocoalab 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You and your mom are super people!

  • @sandebryant3878
    @sandebryant3878 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    You are very good at what you do. There is no way, no way I could do this. Cleaning for someone who is basically micro-managing you who doesn't clean it is insane. I would have been so frustrated, and anxiety would have been through the roof. Bless you and your Mom for helping this family. I still say horders buy more of what they have because they can't find things. And it becomes more and more things. I hope they continue with the cleaning because there is still a lot to do. I'm surprise they didn't have rats. Awesome job as always ❤❤

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I know it probably does look like the homeowner isn't helping that much, but she was busy going through boxes of stuff that we would give to her. It's hard to show that though when I'm trying to keep her anonymous. We actually didn't want her moving around a lot because there was one particular day she was helping kind of all over the house and kept going up and down the stairs and, by the end of the day, her feet were so swollen that she could barely walk for the next couple of days. She sent me a picture and it looked awful. 😬 But, I can totally see how it does look like I'm being micromanaged while cleaning. There were a couple of times I felt like that, but for the most part, I was able to work on my own and then just give her boxes to sort through.

  • @theaweggen6805
    @theaweggen6805 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    😊😊😊

  • @bonniewinninger4896
    @bonniewinninger4896 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Another great video, Bonnie! This was a very challenging job, and the three of you were a godsend.i loved your wonderful couch movie! It was terrific! Mack’s “How a Housekeeper Cleans a Car” video is my favorite, too. You both make me laugh out loud!

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you so much! Nice to "see" you on here, virtual aunt.😂 I hope everything is okay. Haven't seen you in a while.

    • @bonniewinninger4896
      @bonniewinninger4896 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp Well, virtual niece, it’s been an intense year so far. My wonderful brother died in January, and my wife of 23 years is an Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s patient who just contracted COVID. She gets great care in the nursing home, where she is a hospice patient. She would have loved your channel! Both of them were organized and cleaning demons! You and Mack are helping me keep my spirits up, and I appreciate it! 🙂

    • @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp
      @ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@bonniewinninger4896 Oh Bonnie, I'm so sorry! I knew something must be off. It's hard to see people you love pass and then to watch your sweet wife go through Alzheimer's (which I think is one of the most cruel diseases), is heartbreaking. You have a lot on your plate. I'm glad our channels are helping lift your spirits. Hang in there!😘🙏