Watch Out - There's MORE Than One INTJ Door Slam | INTJ Rage
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2024
- INTJ rage can be a peculiar thing. You often don't even see it and because of that you probably aren't aware that there's more than one intj door slam. Even though the door slam is usually associated with the iNFJ - the INTJ personality type actually have a couple of really intense ones themselves.
The INTJ door slam is commonly associated with erasing people; however, there is another type that few people encounter - or perhaps the door slam just appears like the INTJ personality usual furious grumbling and mumbling. You might be surprised to learn that there are two types of door slams. Both are distinct but serve the same purpose..
It's strange that there isn't a lot of information addressing the INTJ door slam - or, perhaps, not THAT strange; after all, it's unusual to witness an INTJ angry when they've reached a certain level of self-control.
This often leads to a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to the INTJ personality type. There are actually a lot of reasons an INTJ is so misunderstood.
Know why people so frequently get confused and misunderstand an INTJ: • [Top] 5 Reasons No One...
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Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:33 Are INTJs Prone to Anger
1:47 INTJ Door Slam #1
2:53 INTJ Use of This Door Slam
4:04 INTJ Finality
5:01 INTJ Door Slam #2
6:01 INTJ Use of This Door Slam
7:03 INTJ Logic
8:01 INTJ Communication
9:16 INTJ Hidden Meaning
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As an INTJ, what are some reasons you have door slammed someone? If you're not - have you ever been door slammed by an INTJ? Tell me your stories in the comments below.
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ESFJ women once try to ashamed me publicly and show me as a villain and uncaring person so I showed her how that person looks like :D
@patryk J I have no doubt she came to regret that decision 😬 I really appreciate you taking the time to watch and for leaving a comment! 🙂👍🏻
at work boss or superior wonders why i didnt do something that i consider not important. when you work as hell trying to complete everything that needs to be done(impossible in my domain) and they just interrogate you on why this one stupid thing wasnt done. so i just shut them down. the task wasnt done. either punish me or let it go but dont waste my time and dont try to make me feel bad because i wont
1. They didnt respect my wishes/opinions/privacy
2. Tried to manipulate by making me express private information
3.Did not reciprocate to my honest feelings.
I do that kind of things mostly with too arrogant persons, who think that they are higher then others in some ways, and when they try to control me, manipulate or offend in any way, they meet that death stare and something like “I don’t care who you are, you should know your place, because you made of flesh and blood like every one else, there is nothing special about you, mortal being”
👉🏻👈🏻
My friend broke my trust and went behind my back, she didn't know I had already figured out in my mind that everything happening was her doing and was 100% sure about it. So simply next day I asked her why did she did it, and she had the audacity to ask what was I talking about, anyway I confronted her rather calming, we just sat and talked and after everything that happened I simply decided it was over between us and so I don't talk to her anymore. it's been years. I don't hold grudges, I don't even hate her for what she did. I just know I don't have place in my life for people like her. So yeah on occasion when we see each other, we do say hi but that's just as far as I am letting it go. It's kinda peaceful to simply retreat and not have any emotion regarding the person. Hating takes too much energy.
Same situation but mine is they are indenial and hypocrite so they didn't admit it. But I can feel on their face, in their voice. Actually Intj is not a cluess emotional type at all. We are very good at it actually through observing and predicting but we can't process them in time (for my case) these information is enormous to intj. So we take a lot of time to decide a best choice in our head which cause us unintentionally death stare to others.
@@navatepdankao3766 very accurate.
INTJ female here. I have no problem leaving someone in the past if they turn out to be toxic. Boyfriend, friend, family member, whatever. My loved ones know that Im fiercely loyal and will do whatever I can to help them but I also have limits and if I start to feel like I'm the only one working on the relationship, I can easily walk away and dont look back.
I am an INTJ and have had to do so a few times in my life as well. I am fiercely loyal to friends and loved ones, but I have boundaries that if crossed I will walk away and never look back. I try to make a point of never forgiving🙃 or forgetting any act of kindness someone has done for me and always try to reciprocate the act. I have never met another INTJ in my life, but it is interesting to me to find that there is other people who think and feel as I do.
That feeling when you tell yourself that you will never talk to them ever again ✂️
As an INTJ, my door slams used to be full of anger. But as I got older, now I just communicate calmly my boundaries and I reinforce when necessary. If boundaries keep being crossed, I take measures such as silence, blocking, etc. Door slamming feels so relieving lol. No one will get it.
I have never heard such accurate understanding of what goes on in my head when I reach this point. Did the second door slam on my abusive parents and my husband to this day tells me: “they’re genuinely scared you will never talk to them again” and I informed him that they shouldn’t be scared they should be sure. They spent 25 years creating that door slam, they had 25 years to amend the situation, and they chose to be shit. INTJs do forgive occasionally but we never forget, and door slams on close ones are a last resort but still an option.
As an INTJ, this is pretty accurate. I do try to slow down and rationalize everything. I will try to get away from the situation to go think about it. If I'm unable to do that, the gloves come off. I can quickly cause a lot of emotional damage to someone if I want. That is why allowing an INTJ to get away and cool off a bit to come back and objectively talk about a situation is best.
Agree. If I am made to fight I can be nasty. But I always prefer to walk away and have space.
Facts.
To non intjs please do not break our trust, if you don’t want to be friends tell us why and be on with it don’t try to come up with an excuse, if you lie we’ll know and that will make us resent you and ourselves and will also make us less trusting of the next person
Omg, exactly this
True
I won't shut down people so easily but when they force me to do so,it'll be the end. I'd cutted people in my life and I never made them comeback again in my life. Once I've taken my decision, I'll never change .I never ever regretted with my decisions.
Ooooooooo...this is a dangerous subject:
....a "friend" of 17 years decided it was OK to answer my phone & SCHEDULE A CONTRACTOR TO DO WORK ON MY HOUSE, then inform me she'd made the appointment in snarky flippant "matter of fact!!!" I was instantly LIVID... Quietly threw her OUT OF MY HOUSE, & told her "Don't call me again & NEVER darken my dooryard again!!!" That was 19 years ago & I haven't heard a squeak from her since that day...
I WILL DOORSLAM WITH NO WARNING the instant I know I'm being disrespected, blatantly taken advantage of, MANIPULATED, LIED TO, STOLEN FROM, SET UP, CHEATED ON... ANY ATTEMPT to swindle or abuse also qualifies. I have ZERO TOLERANCE for imbecilic behavior & I don't care what the excuse is. I keep my life pretty quiet & tidy...& THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO STAY.🖤
Edit: ***The MOST EGREGIOUS OFFENSE IS BETRAYAL!!!*** THAT will get the offender DOORSLAMED quicker than they can blink!!! ...& I will reexamine every aspect that surrounded the betrayal to 1) Clearly assess HOW it evolved, & 2) Make whatever adjustments necessary to prevent that opportunity in the future... But THAT offender is ***permanently GONE.*** There is no reversing this: it is IRONWOOD...& I will remind the reader that Ironwood SHREDS CARBIDE SAW BLADES; the tree cannot be cut down, bulldozed, nor burned out... Roads have to be built around them!!! My resolve is IRONWOOD.🖤
I think you need to use more capitals because it didn't quite make the cheap infomercial level of grammer and punctuation... good job 😂 lol....
It sounds more like your mindset is Diamond 💎
Okay but typically what we’re doing is shutting down someone’s BS or manipulation by using facts and reality and that fact that ppl find that scary, dangerous, etc is always funny to me.
I am very patient and ascribe good intentions to people, even when I don't agree with them or feel they've stepped over the line. But there is a point when I will let my true and honest opinions and criticisms rush out of my mouth, and it can really hurt people. Since I'm normally cool on the outside most of the time, when I feel betrayed or wronged, I can respond with incredibly cutting words and aggression. People see that I am willing to focus all my capabilities fully on correcting their injustice, and they have a good idea of what I'm capable of.
Betrayal and ingratitude will get you doorslammed.
Yep. For me because I've held my tongue and anger for so many years with bad family that I cannot do the door slam or death glare just yet. I wish I could do it someday.
Absolutely True
Tell them the blunt truth... what you think off them, what they lacked in life and how they let their loved ones down. This takes a second of observation for us (INTJ) and once we go, we can't stop. You want emotion?....you got it. Happy? 😅
I can remember what it was like to confuse frustration with anger, as a young adult, long before I took the mbti test. As an older INTJ I have learnt to control emotions, use them productively consider a rational and logical response that is more effective. I have door slammed people in both the senses outlined in this video mainly in a work setting and for displays of persistent bad behaviour e. g. lying, Great video
An INTJ here. I had two employees walk out for two weeks abruptly. I had to cover every shift as it was just 3 at the front of the house of the busiest restaurant of the area, now narrowed down to me. Boss rehired due to staffing. Behind the scenes I had found solid replacements, for the two 'children' that were rehired, with long term friends of the owner. As soon as the applications were in, I confronted their issue with my way of operations(which made more money at the expense of leaving early), with 5 words. Since then they are no longer permitted on premises due to their predictable reactions. Am I blamed? No. Am I still the favorite employee? Yes...especially for purging the toxic two from the workforce and exposing secrets they have shared regarding work relations I didn't give a shit about because It didn't affect me. Took months of preparation and listening to enact my revenge. They have since lost their apartment, local reputation, and I could care less because they never have been in my life and never will be
I'm an INTJ. I frequently door slam my younger, less experienced and less competent Team Leader in work. His opinion means little to me.
Love you channel and narration style.
INTJ-A
I have never door slammed in my life.
Been betrayed twice.
They wish I was a door slammer after what I did to them.
I doorslammed my ex-wife when she wanted a divorce. In turn, she became terrified of me. I’m not proud of it, however, I have no regrets. It was necessary
I actually did this to my youngest daughter. She has always been an attention seeker and has no problem resorting to exaggerating and lying to get as many "oh, you poor thing's," as possible. She has done this ALL her life. Her memories of me and my memories of her are completely different. I had been done with her accusations and lies about me when nothing she harped about had ever happened. She loved the attention she got from having a terrible mother and as time went on, her stories became more and more elaborate and preposterous.
What helped, was when she publically announced that she never wanted to speak to me again. So she actually was the one to slam the door but I was perfectly okay with it.
Ten years later, she reached out to me in the form of a friends request on my Facebook. While I didn't want to do it, she IS my daughter, so I accepted. A month later, she wrote me a message that to this day I have trouble deciphering. It was rambling and very vague. Since I had no idea what she was trying to say, I answered with a catch up of my life over the past ten years. Nothing long.
It's been three months since I answered her. And if that is all she wanted, that's fine with me. As far as I am concerned, she slammed the door, but only because as a mother I felt that it was wrong of me to be the one to do it. If we never have contact again, it won't be a regret on my death bed.
Sounds great!
Let love prevail. I understand how this must feel and its very complex because of the mother daughter dynamic but not that you asked for my advise and obviously you dont have to take it. I have a similar complex situation but Im the daughter who relates to your personality and it sounds like my mom relates more close to your daughter personality type. Its so much that Id almost write a book if I tried to explain it all in this post. I'll just say respect her boundaries and set yours for her to respect.
I would also say PLEASE try to reflect and see with her eyes so to speak, because of the difference in personality you may not be able to feel her side of things and it may feel unreal or dramatic to you (not saying it isn’t)but to her its her reality. Try your best as her mother to understand “the reasons why” she feels the way she does, again it may not be true but its somehow her truth.
Humble yourself no matter what she does or says and make it known to her that whatever the ways she feels you have hurt her that you are sorry and that you love her very much! If when you reflect and you can "see" through her eyes acknowledge it and ask for her forgiveness (not that you did anything wrong or maybe, but for her feelings that you did).
Let her know how much you would never intentionally hurt her. Although I know we are all different even though we have strong similarities I believe that I can say in ALL confidence even though I dont know you that you really wouldnt purposefully hurt your own daughter as an intj we arent wired that way!
Its just that the differences in personalities make it appear that way and creates an environment where there is very little to no understanding for each other. Im not saying not to put boundaries in place or not to uphold them trust me I understand that step is vital and crucial if you want to keep your sanity, but the point is to keep your door of love and forgiveness open(even with necessary boundaries in place) on your end, whatever that is in your specific situation.
Its apparent from your post that you love your daughter and obviously one of the reasons youve kept trying with her in spite of everything.
I dont know your spiritual belief system but I am a Christian and I try to allow my love for Christ to supersede what my natural nature would do. Its not easy AT ALL, but love will help guide you in this situation.
Let me share a personal experience. When my son was a child he would always try to hug me and console me when h'ed noticed I appeared hurt or upset.
I tried very hard to keep my emotions unseen but there were times that wasnt avoidable also i didnt know at that time that my son is very emotional with keen ability to detect when someone is down even when you try hard to hide it. I would very sternly pull him away, say that I was ok and tell him to go to his room when hed try to hug, comfort, or console me during my moments of anger disappointment or hurt.
He was extremely hurt by this and expressed it later as an adult. I did not know he felt this way and held resentment of me because of it, as you know most of us dont deal with our feelings or emotions this way, we tend to go somewhere to ourselves lick our wounds and recoup on our own.
Also, I didnt want to dump my emotions and problems upon him as my mom did to me at a very young age I was her therapist and she very dysfunctional, with different emotional/mental issues to my unaware(but thats another story).
Anyway, My son is very loving and affectionate and this was his way of showing me love and letting me know he cared, but to him I rejected his love.
For a very long time I couldnt accept his feelings on this because to me I didnt do anything wrong. I was responding in the way that I needed(self healing) and also I honestly was trying to protect him from absorbing my negative emotions.
I couldnt believe that he felt I didnt love him because to me I tried so hard to show him how much I love him. God had to literally show me how I failed to see that he was a child who did not have that understanding yet, in his mind he saw his mom who he loved expressing some sort of unsettleing emotion( I thought I was hiding from him) and he didnt like to see his mom like this and he just wanted to help me. At first I thought that my son was too sensitive and that he was being too needy and so on. It took God to help me to see from his point of view.
When the revelation hit me like a ton of bricks I wept and Im not a crier unless It really touches my heart. I asked for forgiveness with sincerity and I explained to him that the reasons why I did what I did and how I respond to things because of who I am and what I need but that I could see how that could hurt him and in a sense cause him to feel neglected and rejected.
We are better now and have much better relationship. Glory to God and His perfect love for both of us to give us more understanding for one another.
I Know this post is old now and I dont know your situation or if it has improved( I hope it has) but I hope my sharing of my story and offering a little insight helps.
Best wishes and restoration for you and your daughter.❤
Sorry its extremely long.
this catalogue of personalities is really something i keep in reserve. i dont speak much but i listen to everything and i know every strength and weaknesses. not just to hurt them if they upset you. you know how to make them happy or get them in a good mood
This is the most accurate video I've watched on this subject, cheers to the creator*
Currently going through the 2nd type of door slam with someone. We will distract and bury ourselves in action, during the silence. We don't like to waste time. We will figure out a way to move with forward momentum towards the future. Most of the time it's not worth our time or energy to keep coming back and continually snapping at you. But if we have observed you a long time and see a pattern we do not like... We will pick our moment to drive the truth dagger. It makes us feel uncomfortable to snap like that in an unplanned abrupt moment. If there is enough evidence mounted over time, We will poignantly point out a lie..just to test your reaction. Followed by icy silence and ruminating over that person's potential point of view. There are many levels of lies. We will go silent and observe. Your next move is crucial if you value the relationship at all. We have no problem quietly slipping away into the sunset. If your next words to us are not something sensitive, addressing our feelings you're as good as gone.
Not following the rules of chess with someone who knows the rules and ignores the rules. And claims ignorance when confronted
So funny, about a few seconds into the video I paused it and considered what my door slams are with the exception of "I'm done with you". The first thing I thought was, welllll, slamming someone down because they just need to shut up, lol.
Logic can be lethal. I use it rarely and selectively. It works for me.
This video is spot on
Anger was my thing. It still is.
Daily irritation with people is so true as an INTJ.
I door slammed the crap out of someone earlier this year. It was at a hockey game and I was with my family. I invited my best friend and he invited his @$$hole friend. I thought we could all have a good time but he kept making drunken remarks about me personally within earshot of my family [they heard it and reacted negatively]. He tried to embarass me in front of my family with little comments. I thought about it for a couple periods and decided I had to confront him spectacularly. I really sat and though about if it was worth it and after I determined it was there was no turning back. I was ready for anything, a fight getting kicked out etc. It was a long time coming with this guy. I caught him in the bathroom and I was in his face yelling at him right in his face [totally unlike my intj self]. But was ready for whatever, he was malicious and reckless w his comments, I was beyond reproach. I could see I had gotten my point across, security came in and made us part ways. He took me to the dark side of my intj. I would of gone down fighting if need be. He was totally out of line and I could not rationalize why he would say those things. Drunk or not.
Applause!!
How old are you?
I also try to rationalize someone's nasty behavior too.
Hahaha so on point. Someone's done his research. The concept of mens rea is an important part of how I decide to react to someone's action that causes me trouble.
This is this is so good 😊 I can’t stop laughing 😂😂 why do you know all this about me 😩😜😜
So many door slams! OK, I find a new "friend" and she tries to sell me something. I mean, I appreciate that you're trying to make a living off Avon, or trying to sell Princess House glass or you make some kind of cutesy craft or are the sales chick at the local fitness place, but if the first thing you do is try to USE ME I will drop you. We were supposed to get together once in a while to see a movie or go out to eat or a concert or something. EFFYOO!! I'm also an entrepreneur, I don't force myself on a new person on our first meet. Anyway, I meet so many of those types, and I really don't need them, so everybody's pretty expendable to me. It's more like I think I should have friends more than actually want them! Now in my 60s, I'm very comfortable as a loner; I have a daughter, so I do have a human relationship, heh-heh. I simply cut off contact. There's no need for anything else. At work I've taken out so many trashy employees with my door slams I should get an award.
Bravo SFB on another excellent review of an often overlooked INTJ trait. You hit a bullseye regarding young INTJ's and anger as the only form of emotional expression. Honestly, anger is still the only emotion I really feel most of the time. I often think to myself...why am I always angry? It's as if I walk through life constantly restraining my anger, which is exhausting! However, I will continue to restrain my anger because the mere display of my anger.....angers me. It angers me because I wasn't able to control it and someone else witnessed the emotion, which enrages me even further.
Now, on to the door slam. My door slams are direct, short, and final. When I door slam someone, they literally no longer exist in this world to me. I could be inches away from said person in a room and that person will think he or she is literally invisible, even if he or she tries talking to me, insulting me or provoking me, I'm a statue. No matter how long I've know the person or how close they were to me, it all ends the second the door shuts. The trick is to never think of the person again, you have to cut them out of your memory, no reflecting or reminiscing. You must have mental discipline to do this. This is also a form of slow and prolonged torture of the other person, because most people are too emotional or soft to last a lifetime of never reconnecting or reaching closure with me. Although, I do have an advantage over others when it comes to cutting people out of my life permanently. I grew up as a Military Brat or "TCK" as some say, so I moved about 30 times by the time I reached 18yo. The shortest time spent in one place was 6 months and the longest time spent in one place was 2 years. As a result, cutting people out of my life is as simple as breathing to me. All I really need is myself anyway.
I learnt how to deal with anger just shortly before my 30th birthday. Now when I'm "angry", I just stop and try to analyse if it's really anger or just frustration.
You sound like a Borderline.
Lots of good points. However, I almost never use sarcasm; it's indirect, ineffective, and often hurtful. - an older INTJ
I am INTJ and I'm finding myself scary now.
Homie don’t play. That’s all.
Ironically, my latest door slam happened by opening a door to see the person and then screamed at them to show them how it feels to be screamed at unnecessarily.
This was to a person who has been screaming at me my entire life, but since they are family i gave them as many chances i could, but nothing improved, and i snapped
We'll chronicle everything and provide it to you in great detail. Yes! Typically right before that infamous door slam. 😊
For 10 years I have tried to put up with my son’s wife for his sake. She has tried to manipulate my mother and that is the last straw. My son and grand daughters will now pay the consequences and that breaks my heart. SLAM! FOREVER!!
Door slam one definitely occurs for me whenever I’m not attached to the person enough such as friends. I don’t really care enough so I just leave silently. I don’t really deliver a harsh line though, it’s simpler to leave silently. Door slam two has only happened once with someone, and it was a more important person to me at the time. (An infj who tried teaching me the emotional/vulnerable side) so it took longer for me to door slam him when I noticed un loyalty. I used it as an experience first, trying to find motive and intention. Surprisingly, I even gave two chances but it wasn’t for the reason he thought. I just wanted to understand why. After, I door slammed because he no longer provided any positives to my life
INTP here. After an absence of several years, I was making an unplanned trip to my INTJ adult daughter's city. I phoned her the day before. I would be staying with another relative and was not expecting my daughter to pick me up at the airport or anything else. She was nice at first, even offering to help. Then she started freaking out about ... I'm not sure, but I gathered it wasn't a good time for a "nice visit."
Then my trip was canceled for other reasons.
A couple of hours later, I sent my daughter a short text, saying I wasn't coming after all, and I apologized for upsetting her. I thought we were cool. But a month later I received a long text from her, saying "you have no idea what's going on in my life right now," and criticizing everything about me. It was all stuff I already know about myself. As for not knowing about her life, that's because she doesn't talk about such things.
I've thought of trying to reconcile by explaining why I was making an unplanned trip. But I know she would just think my reasons were stupid.
For years she said she couldn't afford to visit me, but I'm aware that she spent money on other trips. So it seems to me that she didn't really care whether she saw me or not. So why is she concerned about whether I show up in her city? If she didn't even have time to meet me for a coffee, she was under no obligation to do so, and my feelings wouldn't have been hurt.
I don't need her permission to go anywhere. I was just giving information: I'll be in your area on such-and-such dates. Why would that upset her? But obviously it did.
I'm.guessing it unnerved her and then you unnerved her again by cancelling. You don't know about her life, she doesn't say, but as her parent I think she wants you to find ways to know her, ways that won't stress her out. She feels upset you don't know her quirks and don't know how to handle her. You have to be a bit psychic. Please reach out to her, dont guess her feelings. I'm an intj female. Hope this helps
I'm confused, I can't remember the last time I actually was angry, but I typically just take a break from the situation instead of escalating it.
I get this way when people do not respect boundaries that I have set. If I'm irritated with you, that's fine. The relationship can continue. But if I have doorslammed, then that is a very, very, very unpleasant place for the other person to be. It takes a very long time to get to that point, though, and I try to be very, very clear as to why the person is getting blocked out of my life forever. The "grudges" I hold are not personal ones, but rather that you've done something egregious to either morality or competence (or both) or that you've seriously and repeatedly hurt someone I care about.
Never knew about door slams until now. As someone who has scored. INTJ this is me. I feel kinda bad now lol
The 'Doorslam' isn't a quick. irrational thing for me. Most people aren't worth the effort. With family it takes on a different dimension. With family they seem to feel because they're family they have certain rights (we will always be family - I'm talking close family) and push boundaries. It doesn't occur to them that the reason I don't say anything is that I assume a basic logic in other people and prefer no confrontation (that could get out of hand quickly). Usually they say "I didn't know you felt that way (mother, brother)" - this makes me bolt the door I've slammed. It's lonely but preferable to having morons in your life.
number one reason: emotional instability.
My best friend of 12 years angered me by his actions. I walked out and haven't seen him or talked to him in 16 years, not one regret on my part.
I think that seeing and hearing these things about my personality is validating but at the same time I want others to understand- understand that my thinking and actions do not have all that much to do with them - it’s about what I think/feel/need/want but does not mean others don’t matter - it means all is take into consideration
Gaslighting - I don't have time for people - even family - who behave in this way. I won't let people treat me like this.
Walking away from people isn't about making them suffer, there is just no point engaging further. There's initial disgust at such basic and crude behaviour but it's really a strategic move when there's no more options to progress the relationship in a positive way.
This is the best explination.
So so true of me!!!❤
INTJ-A I will disconnect myself, and will enjoy seeing them trying to come back -> I just laugh. I don’t care. 🤷🏽♀️
Solicitors coming to my door uninvited.
This door slam I have done is actually recent and falls under door slam #2. This is towards a parent of mine and the issues have occurred for years. I had tolerated it up to this point. She is the type who will speak her mind and not care how she says it. If someone cuts her off in conversation, she will speak up. If someone is clearly still talking, she will cut them off, but in her mind, she thinks they have cut her off. To this day, I still cannot wrap my head around that logic. Anyway; if you tell her the truth about her character, she will deflect and turn it on you without examining herself. To her, she rarely does no wrong and everything she says is undoubtedly right, even though she is rarely on target.
This is what I had to deal with. Every strategy, every plan I could think of, I had utilized, did not work when it comes to open communication and eliminating the issues so we can both grow, and move on. In her mind, I am still the little boy even though I am an adult now, so this also causes issues and something I addressed before, but without surprise, she refused to listen. I don't know if it is pride, arrogance or a childhood situation where she developed this behavior. All I can say is: I finally grew tired of it and door slammed. I wasn't looking for her respect, only for the problems to cease. As of now, I can have peace of mind again.
Man, I can't even quantify the times I've door slammed and dropped the individual from my life. Now that I'm 42 I'm kinda embarrassed I lost control like that.
I get that! But people can push us. We are actually more emotional than people think our feeling run deep and betrayal is very very painful.
Im a INTJ and i door slammed toxic people for me, when i see they are danger for me or my few beloved people
At least for myself I believe I have a different door slam for those you can’t rationalize to leave like spouse and close family members. I pull away from them and door slam in my heart and mind and just treat them with respect they deserve and expect or want nothing from them just to keep the peace in the family.
Door slammed 2 ex-husbands for betrayal and several friends for either their complete and utter insensitivity to my feelings or their repetitive immoral behavior. Looking forward to door slamming my boss at retirement time.
Habitual slander. 4 people multible times tried to hint that it wasnt ok at first then went more into detail then became direct that it was not ok. Now im done with it
Yesterday...
I've lost my calm , my rage came out..
I've lost my real self
I cursted
I shouted
I broke things...
It's so unusual for me as an INTJ I'm so in shock...
Yup.
It is hard when you like someone, and they have all of these negative patterns in their life, to avoid cutting them off. You want to influence their negative patterns in a positive way, but it seems so futile at times, so what's the point. Shut the door.
I was explaining a diagram to someone and they kept telling me that they can’t do it despite me telling them that I am there with them and lets do it and get it done with, I think I motivated them a little, but it got repetitive so I just told them that they are a disgrace and that they will never achieve a thing in their life if the continued like this and moved on. "I am better than this” I thought, and I am correct, I am better than wasting my time on someone who doesn’t want nor need it. Good Riddance
I use either based on what situation I'm in.
I door slammed couple people out of my life. One of them didn't respect the time that I and the others in our group specifically set for group meetings. Another betrayed the trust of people I care about. The last one behaved in a parasitic/narcissistic fashion and fed on empathy of the people in our club. I rarely door slam people but when I do it's most often definitive and unforgiving.
When it comes to catalogue of personalities I would rather call it an ammo box with target's name on it. Most of the time I control my anger but when somebody screws up royally - mostly by attacking people and things I care about - then my sadistic streak gets to surface and I sure as hell use "live rounds" to cause as much harm as possible. At that point there is no mercy. I'm not proud of this trait but it often stops people from ever doing the same thing again.
Gonna try to keep this brief: My harshest door slam was to my last manager to the point they had to be publicly humiliated by their coworkers because of me quitting.
Context I worked with a textbook in the box thinking narcissist who endangered my life on several occasions and betrayed all trust I could form with them while trying to belittle me as a person. One day they called me into their office to degrade me and let me know that of 4 people I would be the only one doing any work that would naturally require 2 people to handle (not a problem because think about our personality type). I let them finish their instructions to only hand them a folded resignation letter that they read in front of me. Their response was "why did you let me finish telling you all this before handing me this?" I responded because I value my job. I proceeded to do everything as intended for that day only to have HR come to me and say that they will be dismissing me. Saving grace of it was with pay of 2 weeks which we had just started the first week all because I put in a notice. HR even said as I was leaving, they viewed as a "threat" because before then I had talked with them about all the problems that my manager had caused me, the rest of the staff, and others. With HR going to admit to me, that they know that what the manager does is a problematic and have tried to get him to stop but can't. Months later I was informed of them having to talk publicly about subject matters I had already discussed with the business while trying to save face and be "nice".
I never wish any of you all an experience like this but if you have to slam a door nail it shut.
I've always been told that my snarky comments when upset were more like surgical strikes than carpet bombing...but tbh, if I'm at that point, you seriously crossed lines and deserve it
I am actually door slamming an intj because she door slammed me so many times
Someone breaks my trust (that's most people), I cut them out of my life like cancer cells. I don't even look back. My rage is a result of my adoption as a child and comes out when I feel abandoned. They call it borderline personality disorder. Not going to lie, it's a bit of a challenge to be an INTJ and have borderline personality disorder because the traits are very similar.
The door slam in other words
Ain't no way , I'm not gonna compromise my happiness and peace for your illogical/stupid/nonsense actions.
You might cheat me, betray me . But that's your loss or maybe not, but you better know you're not the owner of my life, happiness, peace.
If you're toxic I'm gonna cut you off from my equation of life, it's not like i haven't given you the chance/s , you must have thought i don't know, but I always knew from the very beginning.
I'm better off without you than being with you.
😂😂😂
Oh God 🤣🤣 did i really have this thought, now that I wrote it.
It's kinda scary, funny, nonsense... I don't know what to feel or think about it 😵💫
Lots of videos about INFJ door slams, now here's one on INTJ, but some say INFJs and INTJs are perfect match, what happens when they door slam?
I'm an INTJ I was with an INFJ for 12 and a half years. We are still good friends, but it's far from the perfect match. Thinking vs feeling, can be a total nightmare.
I door slammed an INFJ. We met in a conference, as we are in the same field. I met him at a horrible time, I just got out of a relationship. Anyway, we hung out for a few days and when he started to make plans for us, I said I am not even sure what I want to do yet and I don't know you. He also mentioned his parents were racist (and i am not going to be someone's token brown girl), and he was pretty set at his job location and i didn't think he'd move for anyone (he and his ex did long distance for most of their relationship, and also, I needed someone with lots of flexibility).
We continued to chat for a bit on social media until I got a boyfriend locally and my bf moved with me to get my master's degree (this is why I needed flexibility). I saw the infj at a conference and it was awkward, no hi's or anything were exchanged. We went our separate ways and i blocked him on social media.
Also, i remember telling him i don't want to date in our field bc if things don't work out, it will be awkward seeing each other. My work and personal life are very separate.
Infj was cool but he was planning our future without asking me what I wanted. I even told him I will have my own business in the future but he didn't fit it into the plans. Big turn off. If he asked, I would have said, I need someone with flexibility. Surely he had to know because he knew I was going to start a master's program. Also, I needed autonomy in my life, I didn't like how he was planning our future without asking me (and only assuming) what I wanted. That shit probably worked for other girls but not this one. He was a bit of an immature infj, rather judgmental, slightly manipulative, and immensely affected by his culture & traditions. We just wanted different things.
@@carmelanagneline It seems to be more to do with the fact that both of you wanted different things, not an MBTI thing. Distance is one big deal breaker in any relationships.
3:43 Yeah, you will not like the results when pushing an INTJ to that stage. You likely have no idea just how easily an INTJ can verbally tear you to pieces unless you've seen it done. And it is scary.
I door slammed a bf of 1 year for using my kryptonite against me for the SOLE purpose of hurting me. I never looked back or spoke to him again.
I thought that we INFJs have a copyright for this.
i don't agree... we hold tons of grudges
Then you're not an INTJ, sorry. Or just a young, unhealthy one. INTJ's like to be done with people and never look back.
@@soham4741 LOL, whatever makes you happy, sorry. (Not sorry)
@@brutalmadness9099 Imagine being so insecure you have to say "(not sorry)". Well that's okay, it's probably your way of telling people that you're shouting from your mother's basement. Either way, you're an internet troll pretending to be an INTJ
I don't. I am a mature INTJ
@@cinthyaraudales5033 yes, so mature that you got affected to the point that you replied to my comment lol.
Please help me. Im an INFP and my INTJ blocked me after I said something bad after we've been fighting constantly recently. I love him so much. Im committed to getting him back. It was a spur of the moment thing, I said it out of anger and frustration. We've been through a lot. It would be a waste to throw it all away. I just need to talk to him. But I'm blocked. I was able to talk through things with him before, when he tried to end our relationship but I was able to rationalize why it was premature and he apologized. But now I'm blocked. Please tell me what to do. I know its salvageable if only he hears me out.
Speaking as an intj, you fucked up.
"It was a spur of the moment thing, I said it out of anger and frustration."
Whatever you said, it was painful and shattered the trust the INTJ had in you. You can't come back from it because the INTJ knows that you WILL become angry and frustrated again at some point. Everyone gets angry and frustrated, but now the INTJ knows that when that happens to you, you will betray whatever piece of themselves they thought you could protect and care for. Even IF you could get them to talk to you and start up a relationship again, I can tell you right now, they will NEVER let you get that close again. Because, to them, a lifetime without you is less painful than experiencing that again.
I will also say that if you try to force communication, you are at an extreme risk of the INTJ saying something that will absolutely break you if necessary, to keep you from coming back. Trust me, our door slam, as painful as it is, is a courtesy to you.
@@jimmywoolever798 thanks for the output. I understand and acknowledge my flaws and deficiencies as a girlfriend. And I'm actively working towards changing that.
We're back together for a few weeks now. I did hurt him and he acknowledged that. One thing I keep learning about INTJs is that although you are very logical and pragmatic, you can also be sensitive. I love my INTJ so much even if we aren't perfect but we're committed to building a life together which is why we have space for understanding and forgiveness. He has forgiven me, just as I have forgiven him in the past for his shortcomings. The short period we had of not talking made me map out my plan for changing for the better. I know he sees that too. Looking outside of oneself is also important sometimes because you can misinterpret words or actions and be totally convinced of one's own assumptions. My INTJ admits this too. I'm just glad we are better at communicating.
Yeah no it’s not salvageable
@@frugalbee7250 it's alright now. we were just apart for few days when that happened. Last 7 months has been steady