"As someone who's been happily married for 28 years, I wanted to share my thoughts on this issue. I believe it comes down to a simple truth: there are too many selfish people in our community who are unwilling to compromise or be flexible. Because of this, relationships either fall apart, or people avoid entering them altogether, regardless of who starts the problem. Marriage requires effort and calls for both individuals to set aside their pride and work together. One of the biggest challenges we face today, especially among the educated, is the attitude that no one can tell them what to do."
Thank you for sharing your perspective, Perry! It’s so true that successful relationships require effort, compromise, and teamwork. Your experience highlights the importance of humility and collaboration in marriage. Thank you for encouraging lasting love and healthy communication!
I agree 100%.. Individualism is indeed an issue.. I believe we are living counter to the Laws of Nature and Biology. Back in the day there were Laws, Social Practices, and Economic conditions that made it possible for folks to sustain marriages long term. There was a time when females Did Not have access to decent paying jobs. So most women Needed a Husband to Survive in society. And this is exactly how it should be. In Nature the female Survives by getting Provision from the Male. Humans were designed to mate for "Survival". Even if a relationship starts to fall apart, it's the woman "Needing the Man's Provision for Survival" that keeps the Union intact. Relationships became unstable when women were given access to decent paying jobs and other resources. The "system" made it possible for a woman to sustain herself without Needing a Husband to do it. This is the problem.. When a woman can get Provision from her job or through some other means, and she engages in a relationship with a Man.. She can break the relationship with that Man at Anytime for any Reason. And this is because she isn't Anchored to the Man's Provision for "Survival" like Nature designed. She is now Anchored to her job.. Therefore there's Nothing undergirding the Union.. To understand why so many BW are single.. You have to examine how they've been socialized to behave; and how they're getting Provision. Men will instinctively Back Away from relationships if women are getting Provision through other means. And once you give women economic opportunities relationships will have a higher failure rate.
It’s a real issue, and I think you are right. But this is a larger problem. The State of The Black Union Report - Portrait of the Black Male, which was put out by the urban league a few years back, stated that every other group has increased tremendously in the amount of educated since the 1980s, except black men. Our rate of attaining higher education had only raised 1% in (at the time of the report) somewhere around 30 years. But black women are fast tracking to higher education. And here lies the issue. if BW are not willing to date men who may work but don’t have the status they think they deserve b/c of their degrees, then we have a huge problem. BM are able to educate within the current system, but not as much as every other group and this is for several reasons, one of which is how black boys struggle through the grade school experience. Not b/c they are not smart, but b/c of the learning methods. Education takes some type of support system to do it successfully and in a good time. Seems like we are missing each other. BW at the top and BM below & all based on a piece of paper a mortal man bestows - we try to appraise our value and the value of others based upon a piece of paper. Shameful at best. When we come back to humanity and start seeing ourselves correctly (The Bible says let no man think more highly of himself than he ought) and seeing others as humans too, then we will get victory.
@@HelenaPaschal I am. Almost 20 years in. I've been very fortunate thus far. My wife is 9 years my senior and that maturity played a big part in my decision. When I dated in my age group, I'm 42 by the way, our priorities were different. My wife and I aren't equally yoked but are very aligned in what we want and need from one another.
@@HelenaPaschalWhen are black women going to stop being a pick me I stay away from black women like this its thirsty and obsessive black men don't won't black women ain't no good black man so please teach black women to open up there options date out your race if you do you would be married most likely black women american woman got a sickness in this country obsessed with men who dont won't trauma bonded to down low brothers who are gay black women like low grade feminine males who beat them and degrade them please black women separate yourself from black mammies they are dangerous the black femicide rate is to high to be in a relationship with a black male
The main reason is that the minute their honeymoon is over, black women run to a divorce attorney looking to upgrade. Black women don't truly want to be married, they just like the idea of being able to tell their girlfriends that they have a man. Children, husband don't matter....only temporary happiness
Plot twist. They want to be married.. but not to people that ended up showing that they were actually not their cup of tea after all. I think black men confuse women not accepting things they don’t want and just ending a marriage because they like getting a lawyer and signing papers lol
@@candorsspot2775no. You want them to sacrifice their happiness and no one wants to do that if they’re the ones always making the sacrifice. So yes be happy they’re leaving instead of just forcing themselves to drag along. If someone doesn’t want me I want them to go expeditiously. Not stay and suffer. Black men went black women to suffer and that’s all. Yall say “You don’t want commitment fr” and then the commitment is staying with you during disrespect or financial hardship lol some women didn’t sign up for that so find the woman that did and you’ll be ok
We have less than four percent of all black incarcerated in America. Sixty one percent of us are middle class and above. Plus all women earn more college degrees than their male counterparts, but earn less money. I think black woman are the least married because the perfect mate doesn’t exist and marriage isn’t a priority. Furthermore, the square, nice dude isn’t their ideal mate until after thirty five. Plus after having a child or children when I listen to white or black men speak they all claim to not want women with children.
@@jayshah9967 It’s sad..Watching my female relatives, and friends select the wrong dudes over and over again. I remember being a ten year old kid saying out loud this dude is a bum, but they couldn’t see it until after they had his kid, and he split.
Alot of black men tired of black women complaining and not satisfied with black men that not making much as they do the majority of black women i talked to have alot of issues and they don't have time talk to me and I look good too but hey it is what it is im been dating overseas so guys get your passport and travel
Men are not complicated. Men will have sex with beautiful and crazy or difficult women, but in the we commit to women who respect us properly. Black wo.en are unmarried because they may be educated, but they are NOT WISE. Wisdom cannot be faked nor bought in a store.Being respectful and loyal and willing to build with a man are signs of wisdom and traits women of other cultures value. That is why THEY are married more than Black women. Wisdom, ladies.
I'm a black man of 67. I was married, and got divorced back in the late 1980's. I have been unmarried ever since. The one thing i have learned over they years is everyone has to compete for what they want in life. Education, sports, jobs, relationships. Education do not give a person a pass if that person has poor relationship skills, or no desire to compete. Competition is the equalizer in life. Winners and losers.
@@HelenaPaschal No i think he is saying that education does not give you in edge in getting a certain type of relationship. Relationship skills have to be developed and worked at just like earning your degree.
@@HelenaPaschal He didnt say anything close to that, this is another reason strong solid men avoid women like you. What he's saying is what you're pretending to not have understood or you legit didnt understand it. He's saying getting an education isn't a justification to be confrontational, difficult, nasty, competitive, arrogant and ego-driven to a man you're supposed to love and cherish. Y'all love to say "men dont like educated women" knowing it's complete bullshit, a degree and mortgage dont mean I have to put up with your attitude and lack of affection. Go ask 100 men with experience in relationships who the least affectionate and least romantic in the USA are. I dare you. See what the majority say. Mind you the general opinion right now is that American women of all race are not worth the risk or effort, but black american women, for a cute as some of you can be, are just an emotional, mental, financial and risky ball of stress too many successful men aren't going to deal with.
As a married man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Everyone isn’t cut out for marriage regardless of gender. It takes an exceptional person to get married and remain successfully married. The marriage and divorce rate numbers are accurate and it takes a special person to indefinitely pair-bond with another person. I pray for the best outcome for everyone. Honestly, there are some great people out there, but they are not great for marriage. God bless 🙏🏾
I agree..I realize at 57 that Im not cut out for marriage. I used to really want to marry, but not anymore. I dont have what it takes at this stage in my life to put into a marriage. Being single can be a blessing..🥰
This is one of the best comments! People do not realize the effort and dedication it takes to be married successfully. I was married for 7 years when I was younger. Now that I'm wiser and more mature, I definitely understand the importance of having certain qualities to be in a successful marriage. Marriage is not for everyone, and every person doesn't have the desire to be married. Marriage is not for the weak! 💫
maybe if those breaking their necks to be married sat down and had a conversation with those breaking their necks to be divorced.....may save some people a lot of time money and energy. IJS
I've experienced emotional trauma dating Black women, which led me to seek a different path. Traveling to another country to find a wife was the best decision I ever made
I understand and hope that works for you long terms. Based on studies, Black men are the common denominators for failed marriages with black and non black women or men.
@@HelenaPaschal Excluding legitimate reasons for divorce (abuse, infidelity) many western women of all races initiate divorce because he was nothing more than the means to acquire a resource (status, wealth) or to have a child. It matters not if women are becoming more independent many still rely on and expect him to be the main source of income. Divorce in the west of comes down to the woman feeling she has got what she could from the man and can easily move on to the next or is fine to be on her own. The number of men able to cheat is much lower than women because an increasing number of men have trouble attracting 1 yet alone multiple women these days. I'm mixed(white/black) and while I fine black women the most attractive, I'd never bother pursue a relationship with one because even if any would even be interested it would more than likely end negatively in the long run. The issue isn't exclusive to black women but western women in general which is why many men like myself are avoiding putting any effort into dating/marriage.
The issue goes much deeper. It is not necessarily just about the women, it is the culture. All the things that keep couples together are no longer valued with blacks. Just look at the statistics compared to other cultures and the answers are easy to figure out.
I told my single, highly educated, black American female buddy that I was going to recruit a man for her. She made it clear that for cultural reasons, she wanted only black American men…..no Africans, Caribbean, or black Latinos men. That was 15 years ago….fast forward to 2024…she’s still single. Sometimes it pays to be open-minded and don’t allow stereotypes to cloud your judgement.
At this point, there are more than enough stats to prove anything either side of this endless discussion would want to prove. But there’s too much hurt and damage on both sides for us to even hear each other. What we need is healing.
Why won't educated black women date a blue collar black man? Blue collar men make six figures, too. Not everyone has an interest in college. Including me. I'm a truck driver and my wife is a cosmotologist. I really think this video is able black women who desire highly educated black men and that's they remain single. Black men on that level have too many options and are too picky to settle with one woman.
I had a bw tell me she couldn't respect me because of my job. I work corrections and make double her salary but she couldn't respect me, like really. I told her the next time the man who she respects beats her up don't call the police or EMTs for assistance.
@@omegamalerevelations7543Maan. I’ve had black women tell me I’m too good for them (I’m a dentist) and that I sound white (speak properly). Their loss, as I’ve mainly dated white women. I’m 26 years old.
Even though black women may have higher college enrollment, the statistics I'm looking at show that black men still slightly outearn black women. So, the idea that there aren't enough eligible black men doesn't appear to be accurate as both black men and black women are generally at comparable income levels.
As they should. We live in a patriarchal system that perpetuates the gender pay gap, with men generally earning more than women. Women seek hypergamy for financial stability, especially when raising children. As Black women excel in education, corporate leadership, and entrepreneurship we will continue to see increasing divorce rates and more women choosing single life, as traditional breadwinner roles evolve.
@@HelenaPaschal No. Men typically earn more than women because of career choices, more willingness to negotiate compensation or ask for a raise, often working longer hours, and have no gaps in their work history for time off. It has nothing to do with patriarchy, and in fact, most companies now have hiring mandates and recruitment policies that are in place that essentially give women preference during the hiring process. Patriarchy has not been a legitimate concept for 50+ years due to the various laws and policies that have been put in place.
@@HelenaPaschal No, I'm completely done with the propaganda that has been pushed in society and reject it. In any event, with regards to this topic, we'll just have to agree to disagree.
Starting at 12:42. Not every man cheat on their wives. I have never cheated on my my wife of 28yrs. There are plenty men that would be faithful to one woman still in the west.
I agree, but do you think you represent the majority of Black men? When men share their personal experiences, it can overlook the reality that cheating happens to a vast amount of women (and men). Instead of seeing you as an exception, it sometimes sounds like you’re suggesting most men are like you.
I know the stats suggest that men are more likely to cheat than women. But honestly, most of the married men I know have never cheated on their wives, and the same goes for their wives. I believe it all comes down to the group they're pulling those stats from, because there are plenty of faithful men and women out there. It feels like there’s something deeper at play here-almost like there’s a hidden agenda trying to push this narrative to drive a wedge between men and women.
@@HelenaPaschal Ms Helena There’s a large enough percentage of younger black men that don’t have kids or married …. No I can’t say they necessarily good but cmon now …. Whether if that speaks to the majority or not, he knows a lot of black men his age standing firm & at 27 Ik a handful of younger black men in relationships that don’t cheat or take their partner very serious 🤷🏾♂️. All these married black men aren’t just cheating ….
@@HelenaPaschal the stats say that only 20%-25% of men cheat on their wives according to a study from The University of Utah. 20% according to Pew. Seriously Helena. A lot of men especially black men truly love their wive and are faithful regardless of issues. I know plenty of men thats around my age 55 who have never cheated on their wives. I will say this though. We would be considered the boring men by alot of women because we are predictable. However, its our predictability that our wives love because they don't have to worry about men like us play games like the fun boys.😁 Hope this helps.
I think with a lot of social media platforms, women from all walks of life from all different backgrounds are now more educated and are making decisions to stay single rather than staying in dysfunctional relationships. Women today are more focused on their careers and elevating themselves as they realize happiness is an inside job.
I agree! It’s inspiring to see women from diverse backgrounds prioritizing their education and personal growth. Choosing to stay single for the sake of peace and mental health shows strength and wisdom. Here’s to more women embracing their journeys!
@@jimmiejones6192 Obviously kids are impacted by social media as with adults, as topic was originally on blk women, I kept the comments about women in general
a big reason why more and more people are choosing to stay single or get in relationships later on in life is because things are more costly now. It takes some time to establish oneself to be financially independent and sufficient. Most aren't doing it in their early to late 20s anymore.
@@haitiqueen0119 And that's a MAJOR LOSS to black women. Every other race of woman across the WORLD understands the importance & value of being under a man's leadership....EXCEPT Black women. Particularly American Blacks. If men are prohibited from directing their women, we will NOT protect them either. Whites, Asians, Indians and even lower class Hispanics understand the concept of UNITY. But Black women don't. This is why y'all will be forever single, feeling "unprotected, neglected by society", and you will keep getting disrespected no matter WHAT PART of the globe you reside in.
I agree with you 💯. Black men are in prison by design, black men are in the graveyard, black men are gay, black men are dating outside of their race. So single women have focused on education and owning a business. Single women focus on the community in a whole nonprofit organizations. Single women don't focus on marriage cause our world view is different. Some of us don't want to be married or have kids.
This isn't just a black woman thing. People still doing this black woman thing.. there is an upsurge of Western women who are single now.. that is a cross racial line
True. This conversation is repetitive and pointless. I did it again--by request. Divorce rates are rising, and more people are choosing to be single and child-free, often without any desire for relationships. It’s becoming the new norm, and we need to accept that.
@@HelenaPaschal very true yes... but, 62% of men are single.. what's going to happen is. people are going to couple up. They're not going to have regular consistent partners ... people going to have baby mommies and daddies...... probably no marriages.. that's going to be the norm of the future.. and it's going to be very common within our society for women to have 30/40 bodies.. because it's actually happening right now....... lol, that's going to be so normal... Men, 5,6,7 sexual partners in their life, women, 30/40 LOL
People who are married want to be single and single people want to be in a relationship or married just be happy were you are in your life sheesh 🙄 find happiness within yourself
@@HelenaPaschal85% of us Black men might marry Black women but that's only the percentage of Black men that are married, which is misleading because you not talking about the amount of Black American men there is and the percentage of them that are not married at all! Your percentage is only based off of the small amount of men that did get married. Most Black men are not trying to get married at all. The juice ain't worth the squeeze and without you adding all the elements to it,your statistics are off. Also Black men are marrying more than Black women!🤣🤣
In my experience with my male and female friends everyone is happier when they date outside of our culture. Men and woman should be dating out it just works better for both parties i rarely see black couples under the age of 35 dating anymore young ppl date interracially.
Meanwhile the culture that’s talking over (Latinos) preserve their culture. “Dating out” en mass for Black Americans is basically self inflicted genocide.
I live in Texas and I see young black couples (under the age of 35) all the time. There are still a lot of black couples getting married as well. We all have different experiences, so we shouldn't generalize.
@@user-dv3kq3rm4h so just because kids may be biracial that makes them less black? You can have mixed kids that still look like you and retain the culture. Barack Obama, JCole, Patrick Mahomes, Halle Berry are all biracial and still look black and don’t lack anything culture wise, the culture loves them.
I’ve never had a Hispanic or white female make any comment about how much money they make or degrees. Literally probably 75% of the black women I know, dated or not, mentions that frequently. I had a black female tell me a few weeks ago that her house is bigger than mine. Shes also 47 never been married w no kids 😒.
I'm 64yrs old and have been around the world as a sailor of the US NAVY,USCG AND as a captain for oil companies for 30yrs this is the worst I've seen in BLACK LOVE!!GOOD LUCK TO the single ones,because it doesn't seem it's going to get any better!!RETIRED VET
As a younger guy in his twenties with a bs in stem. I make good money and have all sorts of women in my dating net. I'm around the same age as your friends daughter that's 28. Us younger guys are more focused on dating the best option. I remember having a conversation with a group of brothers in high school when we noticed this. If your a black guy that's in-shape, have game, and can provide for a family. You can date any group of women you want. The only thing that's been holding black ados/fba men from an ethnic image standpoint has been the bag, if you get that then your good to go. Personally I want to have a wife and kids. But I'm not trying to deal with the divorce laws, not seeing my kids, and losing at minimum 70% of my shit over some bs. I'm seriously looking at going overseas around 35ish to start a family. I've noticed in America a lot of women don't care if the marriage succeeds or not because they win either way. If I go overseas that's not going to be as likely. Plus I could always bring her back to the US which is something I've been thinking about. In general though I don't care about a woman's money. It doesn't matter if she works at McDonalds, is a lawyer, or makes 30k php a month. I'm more focused on her beauty and personality. So my options are vast especially if we include overseas. End of the day would I be open to dating a sister in the US sure, but she'll have to beat out other groups of women too!
DO NOT BRING A FOREIGN BRIDE BACK TO THE USA. Unless she is from another developed country. Once your wife is assimilated, you are back to square one. In fact it's worse than being back at square one; look at the divorce rates in the African community (particularly Nigerians) in the UK. The Metropolitan Police in London held a townhall last year by a Nigerian officer, to tell Nigerian wives to stop calling them because their husband would not do the dishes or vacuum the house. Also she might be using you for citizenship with a view to bringing her husband and children to the US after she divorces you. This does happen especially to older gentlemen.
So many single childless Blk men never been to prison stop with that old lame excuse and take accountability. In your prime years Blk women rejected good men for bad dudes the entire world knows this now. So good Blk men explored other options and other women appreciate them.
I've been married to my beautiful black wife for 20 years. I chose her not because of her race, but because I love her unconditionally, plus she compliments me almost perfectly. I couldn't see myself married to no other woman. But I still say everyone should "love the person who loves you".
That is beautiful! It’s great to hear about your strong bond and unconditional love after 20 years. I completely agree-love the person who truly loves you. Thank you for sharing your story! Cheers to your union!
I am dating and I have children. I've been engaged over the last few years. I'm running into men with mother issues and significant health problems ( ED, mother issues, hypertension, diabetes). Lots of laziness and insecurity. I'm in graduate school and working towards my doctorate degree. I don't have any problem dating someone with a trade... However the options have been slim.
I understand what you mean! It’s tough when you’re meeting men with health issues that affect the relationship dynamic. Keep focusing on your goals, and don’t settle-someone who matches your energy and values is out there!
@natashalampkin366 Not for us older men who live overseas and have younger, fit and feminine women. I'm not following any of the Western standards women think men should follow. I'm in my 60's, have two main women and five side women. I had two women before I left America, but they got out of pocket. I cut one because she started talking that independent crap, so I let her be independent. The second one was jealous of her, so she wanted to leave, so I let her. She wanted to come back, but I told her no. Why take her back when I can go on to the next? I've always dealt with more than one woman. Most men won't admit this to women. I'm rich, so I don't have to put up with any BS. If she's not on my program, she's replaced. Most men are too weak to be like and live like that. I don't care what others think about how I'm living. I tell men if they have a problem with ED, check the woman you're with. I only get women who gets me up just by looking at them. I know you women won't like what I'm saying but I'm just putting that out there so you ladies in the West can understand why a man is depressed in the West. A big part of ED is in the man's mind. I've never taken any medicine for ED but I've been with a few women that gave it to me in the past. This is how I know 100% I'm not attracted to fat women. Can't know until you try. 🤷
I'll be honest PearlieMaes with that type of "food" those short clips that are on your youtube page yes, if men are eating that type "stuff" regularly or at all you damn sure will have ED, high blood Pressure, diabetes, heart problems, obesity, etc. And you will too.💯 pork, fried chicken, french fries, sodas, flour, starch, canola vegetable peanut oils(inflammation on 10 with this "stuff")
Never ever allow your friends to set you up on a date with another person. I have been on two of does and they both have been my worst dating experiences. I will never ever allow it to happen again. One was my friend girl. I feel if she likes me she could had ask me out herself. The other my friend a man, I feel if he thinks I’m such a nice guy, than why was it so hard for him to leave me alone because I clearly told him I had no interest dating a woman at the moment. But I felt he was jealous because I seem so happy being single.
@@HelenaPaschal I didn't hear Bronson's video. I heard yours. Your video is a lot of "I'm just too much for these weak men", "they want us strong educated black women living in the past", "they just can't handle us". Nothing is your fault. Ever. Nothing. And honestly as a successful man.....brothers are just tired of it. If going to school means you're on some "other level" now, then ma'am, go do you. Go live your life, enjoy. Reach for the stars and just for get men altogether. Because that's the real elephant in the room when it comes to the theme of what I hear all over your videos. You're an educated black woman. educated this. Educated that. Educated educated educated and so what.....It's all about you being educated and you have NOTHING to fix or improve about yourself to attract a strong, solid real man that's going to cherish you because.......educated black woman. You're a perfect divine black goddess mother of the earth and universe in your own right. Miss..... it's exhausting. No real man is going to deal with this shit. Look at EVERY single relationships channel run by a black woman on youtube. It's literally every....single. ...channel that play some variation of "black women are too strong and these DL weak black men can't handle us goddesses". It's EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL. So you know what black men did? Especially the successful ones? They said girl bye.
@@iamcase1245 man I watched the first few minutes and got the same vibe... its the "me big and you little" attitude.. I do agree it gets very exhausting after a while. Those single Channel never offer solutions is the one thing I've noticed
We all know why black women are single. Kevin Samuels explained it in detail with receipts. Women who are interested in the truth know Kevin Samuels was trying to help them.
@@HelenaPaschal THATS BECAUSE Y'ALL HAVE NO CHIOCE!!!! EVEN NON BLACK MEN DON'T WANT TO BE WITH Y'ALL! YOU LIKE STATISTICS, RIGHT....GO RESEARCH HOW MANY MEN LOOK FOR Y'ALL TO DATE SERIOUS OR MARRY...AND GET BACK THIS COMMENT SECTION #YoureCookedKKKeisha
@@HelenaPaschal It's not the same though. Men aren't making videos saying they don't need women on Monday and then asking where all the women are on Tuesday. Also, we can't overlook the way a lot of women present themselves on social media, over exposing their bodies and oversharing information about themselves and other people.
I'm 43 no kids with a normal job.....there is no hope really....I had an intervention last week with 3 women in my family....I might not ever bring up the subject again....I'm not what women want anyway
You seem like a great catch for a wife. I love how you embraced the martial vows for better or worse, in sickness and health. Based on what you said, men of all races should be lining up to date a woman like you.
I’m 27 & I’ve done my fair share of Shacking up in my earlier 20s but I do want marriage & my own family. I don’t have any kids & never been married but I still have hope. But the last relationship I was in she left because I brought marriage in a future sense & that “scared” her .. she was 25 no kids either & didn’t make more than me lol just throwing that in there. I don’t beat women or verbally abuse women …never did .. my parents was married for 18 years until my father died, so I seen what a real strong man does & how he leads & the women that I’m around …. They don’t want that … at least from me. 🤷🏾♂️ One of my army friends was married & strongly in love …. He didn’t cheat or abuse her but she cheated on him with his SGT ( White man) that didn’t gaf abt her. They divorced she took half his shit & continued seeing the SGT in my homies face while he had to stay with me in my barracks room until they gave him his barracks room. I say all this to say, it’s not always black men cheating or doing this & that sometimes these women FUCK up & DONT GAF afterwards ….. where’s the accountability for her. Or any women doing shit like that … she made it seem like he was evil & all when that clearly wasn’t the case. Idk nobody is perfect especially in 2024. That’s my 2 cents
Sickness and in health is part of reality. Both sexes can and will have health issues as we age. Obesity, high blood, and other possible preventable issues are prevalent among male and females in our community due to lack of exercise and proper nutrition.
I agree with you I am 44 years old I am educated and I get a lot of attention from black men and men in general but I only wanted to date black men and I wish I would have dated outside my race now because it's hard for me to meet black men that are mature enough for me. I need to open my mind to date outside of black men even though I love black men and I find them physically attracted but mentally unstable.
I have a friend who is a black man that dates all race of women, but I noticed his standard are different for each race. He’ll wine and dine fat Asian women, but has little patience for average looking black women.
@@HelenaPaschal , submission isn't up for debate. They either do or they don't , most don't, which explains the title of your video. They can get them degrees, get that house, make that big money. But don't forget the cat food. They might as well get used to making dinner reservations for a party of one. Rest in Peace Kevin Samuels.
@@raylemar Sounds like a comment from an abuser. Good luck with that. Most women would rather have the company of a cuddly warm cat than a prickly old brute.
Not ALL MEN cheat. Although there are quite a few that do, but not all. I'm 47. I have life cleaning to do before I think about marriage. SOME WOMEN are just as vicious as men when it comes to dating. Listen to "Beauty is only skin deep" by the Temptations
@@HelenaPaschal No. I believe only a small percentage have a similar situation as me. No 2 people are exactly the same. However, there can be similarities
A lie straight from hell is the concept of (Gangsta Rap). Black women should be the main opponent of this genre of music, this music pushes young Black men to incarceration and sheol or grave yard. Apart of the burning house that Dr King feared.
No, Black men created Gangsta Rap. Black women and women in general using their indirect power can either help reinvent Gangsta Rap back to its original intent to bring awareness to depressive communities or gangsta rap can collapse altogether. Using their indirect power and some direct power women can breathe life back into our community, restoring our culture back to what it was in our fore-parents day.
Believe it or not there are a lot of good women and good men the problem is based on physical stero type. I'm creo average looking but I'm disabled but still independent and healthy I carry myself like a lady men don't want me due to my disability. Hell they don't even want to go for coffee.
At 5:00 minute mark you contradict the video. If you are dating an older man and expect him to be in perfect health. Then everyone else have their reasons too. Which leads to you not dating.
Another important reason is because Black men are starting to see what happens when you spend decades building with a Black women and she suddenly decides to call it quits. The court system will award her the children, the house and half his pay through alimony and child support. For young Black men looking to build something substantial with a Black women, marriage is becoming a lose-lose scenario. Now, if you're an older Black man that already have children and have your retirement account and own home marriage can be a good option because in the event of a divorce, what you own prior to marriage is considered separate property
It's funny we all know that word "Marriage" comes from the bible🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️ How can it be good if we won't/don't follow it's creed or directions/instructions to it's suscess. We do this Marriage thing like it's "OUR" WAY or NO WAY🫂🤦🏾♂️🙏🏿it can't be Holy but sure can be "matrimony" without glue.
I’m an 40 yr old black woman and I divorced my husband because of financial infidelity and his health issues. I wasn’t going to allow him to pull me down financially when I worked hard to come from the bottom. He didn’t want to be healthy no matter how hard I tried; begging, asking, crying. He got too comfortable and wanted me to be his caretaker. You’re right about “equally yoked” Some black men don’t want to take care of themselves, they want the women to cook, clean, take care of kids, work and pay bills, take care of them mentally, physically and sexually. I was tired! I would like someone who can equally navigate life and understand the importance of loving self and being healthy.
I assume because of caution in these days with men. Which it is shameful. Like the song where R. Kelly singing about what one man cause all women to hate all men.
The fact you want someone to take care of you but wont take of someone in a time of need shows you dont deserve someone. Enjoy the cats because you talk like younger women and I see why you're single.
I'm a man who has been married for over twenty years to a medium dark skin Black woman. As a man I will not cheat because I'm risking the mother of my children's life. More of us men and women must understand this concept. As a woman nears menopause her body screams "BABY" "BABY", boosting the woman's sex drive, as couples. Age the phenomenon has to be discussed and planned.
I must say by God's Grace that until she kept doing infidelity unwanted divorce...I was and wanted to be married so for me unfortunately I'm one the rarities..believing the Lord somehow in this ridiculous world to be married again that I'm wanting to do till ----- do us part as Christ says
The reason why ther are so many single black women is because of all these beautiful Latinas that are coming here, my lord I haven't been with a black woman in over 10 years 😊
Lots of men including black men get married while incarcerated.... it's not jail causing a rift in Black relatability and cohesion between man and woman.... something deeper....
Smh an independent woman sees no benefit in being in a relationship which is the main reason she’s single…it’s a choice. People act like women aren’t choosing to be single.
A few maybe but the vast majority are simply not being chosen by the kinds of men they actually want. Too many black American women are overweight, crass/ratchet and delusional. That's the real reason y most of yall are single. And men from other races aren't checking for yall either. Men choose who they want to marry, women choose who they sleep with.
@HelenaPaschal Women don't choose to be single stop with the lies men ain't all that special they cheat lie more than women they are more narcissistic than women like come on woman stop making men the priority in life how about love yourself and have a relationship with God you don't need a man to be happy and successful. Stop being a pick me. You can't force a man to be in a relationship with you. When will you black mammies gonna wake up and open up your options to other races of men.
The more money a woman makes her dating pool shrinks, the more a man makes his dating pool broadens
It's really that simple.
@@mactherealestateman Do you know how many black men are gay or dl it's a lot more than people like to admit.
@@thewordsmith5440what does black men have to do with this ?
@@mactherealestateman Most women want men that make as much as money they do or more.
Well said! In addition, the woman’s expectations and demands increase along with the money increase.
"As someone who's been happily married for 28 years, I wanted to share my thoughts on this issue. I believe it comes down to a simple truth: there are too many selfish people in our community who are unwilling to compromise or be flexible. Because of this, relationships either fall apart, or people avoid entering them altogether, regardless of who starts the problem. Marriage requires effort and calls for both individuals to set aside their pride and work together. One of the biggest challenges we face today, especially among the educated, is the attitude that no one can tell them what to do."
Thank you for sharing your perspective, Perry! It’s so true that successful relationships require effort, compromise, and teamwork. Your experience highlights the importance of humility and collaboration in marriage. Thank you for encouraging lasting love and healthy communication!
I agree
Married for 20 Years on October 22nd Perry hit the Nail on the Head and Foot 🎉🎉🎉
I agree 100%.. Individualism is indeed an issue.. I believe we are living counter to the Laws of Nature and Biology. Back in the day there were Laws, Social Practices, and Economic conditions that made it possible for folks to sustain marriages long term. There was a time when females Did Not have access to decent paying jobs. So most women Needed a Husband to Survive in society. And this is exactly how it should be. In Nature the female Survives by getting Provision from the Male. Humans were designed to mate for "Survival". Even if a relationship starts to fall apart, it's the woman "Needing the Man's Provision for Survival" that keeps the Union intact.
Relationships became unstable when women were given access to decent paying jobs and other resources. The "system" made it possible for a woman to sustain herself without Needing a Husband to do it. This is the problem.. When a woman can get Provision from her job or through some other means, and she engages in a relationship with a Man.. She can break the relationship with that Man at Anytime for any Reason. And this is because she isn't Anchored to the Man's Provision for "Survival" like Nature designed. She is now Anchored to her job.. Therefore there's Nothing undergirding the Union..
To understand why so many BW are single.. You have to examine how they've been socialized to behave; and how they're getting Provision. Men will instinctively Back Away from relationships if women are getting Provision through other means. And once you give women economic opportunities relationships will have a higher failure rate.
It’s a real issue, and I think you are right. But this is a larger problem. The State of The Black Union Report - Portrait of the Black Male, which was put out by the urban league a few years back, stated that every other group has increased tremendously in the amount of educated since the 1980s, except black men. Our rate of attaining higher education had only raised 1% in (at the time of the report) somewhere around 30 years. But black women are fast tracking to higher education. And here lies the issue. if BW are not willing to date men who may work but don’t have the status they think they deserve b/c of their degrees, then we have a huge problem. BM are able to educate within the current system, but not as much as every other group and this is for several reasons, one of which is how black boys struggle through the grade school experience. Not b/c they are not smart, but b/c of the learning methods. Education takes some type of support system to do it successfully and in a good time. Seems like we are missing each other. BW at the top and BM below & all based on a piece of paper a mortal man bestows - we try to appraise our value and the value of others based upon a piece of paper. Shameful at best. When we come back to humanity and start seeing ourselves correctly (The Bible says let no man think more highly of himself than he ought) and seeing others as humans too, then we will get victory.
The wise woman builds her house with her hands, but the foolish pulls it down with her mouth Proverbs 14:1:
Bravo!! That is the quote of the month so far!
😅😅😅
Most don't want to be married... they want the glitz and glamour of the wedding.
Are you married?
@@HelenaPaschal I am. Almost 20 years in. I've been very fortunate thus far. My wife is 9 years my senior and that maturity played a big part in my decision. When I dated in my age group, I'm 42 by the way, our priorities were different. My wife and I aren't equally yoked but are very aligned in what we want and need from one another.
@@HelenaPaschalWhen are black women going to stop being a pick me I stay away from black women like this its thirsty and obsessive black men don't won't black women ain't no good black man so please teach black women to open up there options date out your race if you do you would be married most likely black women american woman got a sickness in this country obsessed with men who dont won't trauma bonded to down low brothers who are gay black women like low grade feminine males who beat them and degrade them please black women separate yourself from black mammies they are dangerous the black femicide rate is to high to be in a relationship with a black male
@@lgee9027 Nonsense.. Women typically say this when they've aged out. And they're no longer capable of attracting a Man they can Respect.
@@boohdahbless this is like a fb marketplace post where someone ask if the item is still for sale, only to not respond after you tell them yet
The main reason is that the minute their honeymoon is over, black women run to a divorce attorney looking to upgrade. Black women don't truly want to be married, they just like the idea of being able to tell their girlfriends that they have a man. Children, husband don't matter....only temporary happiness
Plot twist. They want to be married.. but not to people that ended up showing that they were actually not their cup of tea after all. I think black men confuse women not accepting things they don’t want and just ending a marriage because they like getting a lawyer and signing papers lol
@@candorsspot2775no. You want them to sacrifice their happiness and no one wants to do that if they’re the ones always making the sacrifice. So yes be happy they’re leaving instead of just forcing themselves to drag along. If someone doesn’t want me I want them to go expeditiously. Not stay and suffer. Black men went black women to suffer and that’s all. Yall say “You don’t want commitment fr” and then the commitment is staying with you during disrespect or financial hardship lol some women didn’t sign up for that so find the woman that did and you’ll be ok
@@candorsspot2775 true
@@RELEVANT2KILLI was wondering if that would be pointed out.
This
Why are black women still single. They want a guy that is 6'5 and make 150k so this make a single guy like myself searching for love
Notice she did not say any of the real reasons lol BW love doing this ignoring the reality so they dont have to face it😅
Are you suggesting that being short and lacking financial growth are the reasons you're single?
What are the real reasons? Are you married?
@@HelenaPaschalwhat's the definition of an eligible black woman?
I see the height thing play out on a daily basis.
We have less than four percent of all black incarcerated in America. Sixty one percent of us are middle class and above. Plus all women earn more college degrees than their male counterparts, but earn less money. I think black woman are the least married because the perfect mate doesn’t exist and marriage isn’t a priority. Furthermore, the square, nice dude isn’t their ideal mate until after thirty five. Plus after having a child or children when I listen to white or black men speak they all claim to not want women with children.
You just explained it all there is really not much else to it
a lot of black women are not married because a lot of the guys that they find attractive are simply not married material.
@@jayshah9967 It’s sad..Watching my female relatives, and friends select the wrong dudes over and over again. I remember being a ten year old kid saying out loud this dude is a bum, but they couldn’t see it until after they had his kid, and he split.
Alot of black men tired of black women complaining and not satisfied with black men that not making much as they do the majority of black women i talked to have alot of issues and they don't have time talk to me and I look good too but hey it is what it is im been dating overseas so guys get your passport and travel
@@gdubb41966 Exactly go are you appreciate it and celebrated not tolerated
Men are not complicated. Men will have sex with beautiful and crazy or difficult women, but in the we commit to women who respect us properly. Black wo.en are unmarried because they may be educated, but they are NOT WISE. Wisdom cannot be faked nor bought in a store.Being respectful and loyal and willing to build with a man are signs of wisdom and traits women of other cultures value. That is why THEY are married more than Black women. Wisdom, ladies.
I think the bigger problem is that women cannot respect men who are not respectable and you cannot be loyal to a man who is not worthy of it.
I'm a black man of 67. I was married, and got divorced back in the late 1980's. I have been unmarried ever since. The one thing i have learned over they years is everyone has to compete for what they want in life. Education, sports, jobs, relationships. Education do not give a person a pass if that person has poor relationship skills, or no desire to compete. Competition is the equalizer in life. Winners and losers.
Are you saying earning an education is not a form of competition in the equalizer in life?
@@HelenaPaschal No i think he is saying that education does not give you in edge in getting a certain type of relationship. Relationship skills have to be developed and worked at just like earning your degree.
@@HelenaPaschal He didnt say anything close to that, this is another reason strong solid men avoid women like you. What he's saying is what you're pretending to not have understood or you legit didnt understand it. He's saying getting an education isn't a justification to be confrontational, difficult, nasty, competitive, arrogant and ego-driven to a man you're supposed to love and cherish. Y'all love to say "men dont like educated women" knowing it's complete bullshit, a degree and mortgage dont mean I have to put up with your attitude and lack of affection. Go ask 100 men with experience in relationships who the least affectionate and least romantic in the USA are. I dare you. See what the majority say. Mind you the general opinion right now is that American women of all race are not worth the risk or effort, but black american women, for a cute as some of you can be, are just an emotional, mental, financial and risky ball of stress too many successful men aren't going to deal with.
As a married man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Everyone isn’t cut out for marriage regardless of gender. It takes an exceptional person to get married and remain successfully married. The marriage and divorce rate numbers are accurate and it takes a special person to indefinitely pair-bond with another person. I pray for the best outcome for everyone. Honestly, there are some great people out there, but they are not great for marriage. God bless 🙏🏾
I agree..I realize at 57 that Im not cut out for marriage. I used to really want to marry, but not anymore. I dont have what it takes at this stage in my life to put into a marriage. Being single can be a blessing..🥰
your comment is very wise
This is one of the best comments! People do not realize the effort and dedication it takes to be married successfully. I was married for 7 years when I was younger. Now that I'm wiser and more mature, I definitely understand the importance of having certain qualities to be in a successful marriage. Marriage is not for everyone, and every person doesn't have the desire to be married. Marriage is not for the weak! 💫
maybe if those breaking their necks to be married sat down and had a conversation with those breaking their necks to be divorced.....may save some people a lot of time money and energy. IJS
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
I've experienced emotional trauma dating Black women, which led me to seek a different path. Traveling to another country to find a wife was the best decision I ever made
I understand and hope that works for you long terms. Based on studies, Black men are the common denominators for failed marriages with black and non black women or men.
@@HelenaPaschal Excluding legitimate reasons for divorce (abuse, infidelity) many western women of all races initiate divorce because he was nothing more than the means to acquire a resource (status, wealth) or to have a child. It matters not if women are becoming more independent many still rely on and expect him to be the main source of income. Divorce in the west of comes down to the woman feeling she has got what she could from the man and can easily move on to the next or is fine to be on her own. The number of men able to cheat is much lower than women because an increasing number of men have trouble attracting 1 yet alone multiple women these days. I'm mixed(white/black) and while I fine black women the most attractive, I'd never bother pursue a relationship with one because even if any would even be interested it would more than likely end negatively in the long run. The issue isn't exclusive to black women but western women in general which is why many men like myself are avoiding putting any effort into dating/marriage.
Good for you brother, dont listen to the negativity in the comments, Western culture has corrupted dating here in the United States.
The issue goes much deeper. It is not necessarily just about the women, it is the culture. All the things that keep couples together are no longer valued with blacks. Just look at the statistics compared to other cultures and the answers are easy to figure out.
I told my single, highly educated, black American female buddy that I was going to recruit a man for her. She made it clear that for cultural reasons, she wanted only black American men…..no Africans, Caribbean, or black Latinos men. That was 15 years ago….fast forward to 2024…she’s still single. Sometimes it pays to be open-minded and don’t allow stereotypes to cloud your judgement.
Wisest thing I’ve heard all day! Wish I had a friend tell me that years ago. At this point, I’m content with not being married ever.
At this point, there are more than enough stats to prove anything either side of this endless discussion would want to prove. But there’s too much hurt and damage on both sides for us to even hear each other. What we need is healing.
I agree! It's pointless.
Save yourself black man
@@HelenaPaschalYour FEELINGS over FACTS DATA AND STATISTICS Shows in your comments.... YOU are part of the problem.....
Why won't educated black women date a blue collar black man? Blue collar men make six figures, too. Not everyone has an interest in college. Including me. I'm a truck driver and my wife is a cosmotologist. I really think this video is able black women who desire highly educated black men and that's they remain single. Black men on that level have too many options and are too picky to settle with one woman.
those black men are boring to them lol.they want the entertainers.
I had a bw tell me she couldn't respect me because of my job. I work corrections and make double her salary but she couldn't respect me, like really. I told her the next time the man who she respects beats her up don't call the police or EMTs for assistance.
@@omegamalerevelations7543Maan. I’ve had black women tell me I’m too good for them (I’m a dentist) and that I sound white (speak properly). Their loss, as I’ve mainly dated white women. I’m 26 years old.
Even though black women may have higher college enrollment, the statistics I'm looking at show that black men still slightly outearn black women. So, the idea that there aren't enough eligible black men doesn't appear to be accurate as both black men and black women are generally at comparable income levels.
As they should. We live in a patriarchal system that perpetuates the gender pay gap, with men generally earning more than women. Women seek hypergamy for financial stability, especially when raising children. As Black women excel in education, corporate leadership, and entrepreneurship we will continue to see increasing divorce rates and more women choosing single life, as traditional breadwinner roles evolve.
@@HelenaPaschal No. Men typically earn more than women because of career choices, more willingness to negotiate compensation or ask for a raise, often working longer hours, and have no gaps in their work history for time off. It has nothing to do with patriarchy, and in fact, most companies now have hiring mandates and recruitment policies that are in place that essentially give women preference during the hiring process. Patriarchy has not been a legitimate concept for 50+ years due to the various laws and policies that have been put in place.
@@midatlantic09 lol! Can't figure out if you're naive or ignorant. Do some research on gender gaps and gender equality. It's a global issue.
@@HelenaPaschal No, I'm completely done with the propaganda that has been pushed in society and reject it. In any event, with regards to this topic, we'll just have to agree to disagree.
@@midatlantic09 bingo
Starting at 12:42. Not every man cheat on their wives. I have never cheated on my my wife of 28yrs. There are plenty men that would be faithful to one woman still in the west.
I agree, but do you think you represent the majority of Black men? When men share their personal experiences, it can overlook the reality that cheating happens to a vast amount of women (and men). Instead of seeing you as an exception, it sometimes sounds like you’re suggesting most men are like you.
I know the stats suggest that men are more likely to cheat than women. But honestly, most of the married men I know have never cheated on their wives, and the same goes for their wives. I believe it all comes down to the group they're pulling those stats from, because there are plenty of faithful men and women out there. It feels like there’s something deeper at play here-almost like there’s a hidden agenda trying to push this narrative to drive a wedge between men and women.
@@HelenaPaschal
Contrary to popular belief, most black women cheat as well..
@@HelenaPaschal Ms Helena There’s a large enough percentage of younger black men that don’t have kids or married …. No I can’t say they necessarily good but cmon now …. Whether if that speaks to the majority or not, he knows a lot of black men his age standing firm & at 27 Ik a handful of younger black men in relationships that don’t cheat or take their partner very serious 🤷🏾♂️. All these married black men aren’t just cheating ….
@@HelenaPaschal the stats say that only 20%-25% of men cheat on their wives according to a study from The University of Utah.
20% according to Pew.
Seriously Helena. A lot of men especially black men truly love their wive and are faithful regardless of issues. I know plenty of men thats around my age 55 who have never cheated on their wives. I will say this though. We would be considered the boring men by alot of women because we are predictable. However, its our predictability that our wives love because they don't have to worry about men like us play games like the fun boys.😁 Hope this helps.
I think with a lot of social media platforms, women from all walks of life from all different backgrounds are now more educated and are making decisions to stay single rather than staying in dysfunctional relationships. Women today are more focused on their careers and elevating themselves as they realize happiness is an inside job.
I agree! It’s inspiring to see women from diverse backgrounds prioritizing their education and personal growth. Choosing to stay single for the sake of peace and mental health shows strength and wisdom. Here’s to more women embracing their journeys!
What about kids?
@@jimmiejones6192 Obviously kids are impacted by social media as with adults, as topic was originally on blk women, I kept the comments about women in general
a big reason why more and more people are choosing to stay single or get in relationships later on in life is because things are more costly now. It takes some time to establish oneself to be financially independent and sufficient. Most aren't doing it in their early to late 20s anymore.
@@haitiqueen0119 And that's a MAJOR LOSS to black women. Every other race of woman across the WORLD understands the importance & value of being under a man's leadership....EXCEPT Black women. Particularly American Blacks. If men are prohibited from directing their women, we will NOT protect them either. Whites, Asians, Indians and even lower class Hispanics understand the concept of UNITY. But Black women don't. This is why y'all will be forever single, feeling "unprotected, neglected by society", and you will keep getting disrespected no matter WHAT PART of the globe you reside in.
This woman is clueless😂
I agree with you 💯. Black men are in prison by design, black men are in the graveyard, black men are gay, black men are dating outside of their race. So single women have focused on education and owning a business. Single women focus on the community in a whole nonprofit organizations. Single women don't focus on marriage cause our world view is different. Some of us don't want to be married or have kids.
Very
This isn't just a black woman thing. People still doing this black woman thing.. there is an upsurge of Western women who are single now.. that is a cross racial line
True. This conversation is repetitive and pointless. I did it again--by request. Divorce rates are rising, and more people are choosing to be single and child-free, often without any desire for relationships. It’s becoming the new norm, and we need to accept that.
@@HelenaPaschal very true yes... but, 62% of men are single.. what's going to happen is. people are going to couple up. They're not going to have regular consistent partners ... people going to have baby mommies and daddies...... probably no marriages.. that's going to be the norm of the future.. and it's going to be very common within our society for women to have 30/40 bodies.. because it's actually happening right now....... lol, that's going to be so normal... Men, 5,6,7 sexual partners in their life, women, 30/40 LOL
Very true.
People who are married want to be single and single people want to be in a relationship or married just be happy were you are in your life sheesh 🙄 find happiness within yourself
Exactly! That's where I'm at right now. Focused on the joy within myself... everything else will fall into place!
I just don’t understand why people care so much about these things it’s ridiculous
@@HelenaPaschal85% of us Black men might marry Black women but that's only the percentage of Black men that are married, which is misleading because you not talking about the amount of Black American men there is and the percentage of them that are not married at all! Your percentage is only based off of the small amount of men that did get married. Most Black men are not trying to get married at all. The juice ain't worth the squeeze and without you adding all the elements to it,your statistics are off. Also Black men are marrying more than Black women!🤣🤣
Sheesh what a miserable minded way to live
@@natashalampkin366PREACH girl!
In my experience with my male and female friends everyone is happier when they date outside of our culture. Men and woman should be dating out it just works better for both parties i rarely see black couples under the age of 35 dating anymore young ppl date interracially.
Meanwhile the culture that’s talking over (Latinos) preserve their culture. “Dating out” en mass for Black Americans is basically self inflicted genocide.
in my experience, i've seen a good amount of young people (namely black couples) who have married young and have made it work.
I live in Texas and I see young black couples (under the age of 35) all the time. There are still a lot of black couples getting married as well. We all have different experiences, so we shouldn't generalize.
You see what you want to see. Some people want to retain their culture and have children who look like them and that is okay.
@@user-dv3kq3rm4h so just because kids may be biracial that makes them less black? You can have mixed kids that still look like you and retain the culture. Barack Obama, JCole, Patrick Mahomes, Halle Berry are all biracial and still look black and don’t lack anything culture wise, the culture loves them.
Number one😢 Fake Hair
Number two Unfit
Number 3 Fake Hair
Number 2 fake Hair
Coming from a large group of homeless and locked up men
@@ladyd6375 locked up men and homeless men have no clue what you are talking about.
I’ve never had a Hispanic or white female make any comment about how much money they make or degrees. Literally probably 75% of the black women I know, dated or not, mentions that frequently. I had a black female tell me a few weeks ago that her house is bigger than mine. Shes also 47 never been married w no kids 😒.
I'm 64yrs old and have been around the world as a sailor of the US NAVY,USCG AND as a captain for oil companies for 30yrs this is the worst I've seen in BLACK LOVE!!GOOD LUCK TO the single ones,because it doesn't seem it's going to get any better!!RETIRED VET
As a younger guy in his twenties with a bs in stem. I make good money and have all sorts of women in my dating net. I'm around the same age as your friends daughter that's 28. Us younger guys are more focused on dating the best option. I remember having a conversation with a group of brothers in high school when we noticed this. If your a black guy that's in-shape, have game, and can provide for a family. You can date any group of women you want. The only thing that's been holding black ados/fba men from an ethnic image standpoint has been the bag, if you get that then your good to go.
Personally I want to have a wife and kids. But I'm not trying to deal with the divorce laws, not seeing my kids, and losing at minimum 70% of my shit over some bs. I'm seriously looking at going overseas around 35ish to start a family. I've noticed in America a lot of women don't care if the marriage succeeds or not because they win either way. If I go overseas that's not going to be as likely. Plus I could always bring her back to the US which is something I've been thinking about. In general though I don't care about a woman's money. It doesn't matter if she works at McDonalds, is a lawyer, or makes 30k php a month. I'm more focused on her beauty and personality. So my options are vast especially if we include overseas.
End of the day would I be open to dating a sister in the US sure, but she'll have to beat out other groups of women too!
DO NOT BRING A FOREIGN BRIDE BACK TO THE USA. Unless she is from another developed country. Once your wife is assimilated, you are back to square one. In fact it's worse than being back at square one; look at the divorce rates in the African community (particularly Nigerians) in the UK. The Metropolitan Police in London held a townhall last year by a Nigerian officer, to tell Nigerian wives to stop calling them because their husband would not do the dishes or vacuum the house.
Also she might be using you for citizenship with a view to bringing her husband and children to the US after she divorces you. This does happen especially to older gentlemen.
So many single childless Blk men never been to prison stop with that old lame excuse and take accountability.
In your prime years Blk women rejected good men for bad dudes the entire world knows this now. So good Blk men explored other options and other women appreciate them.
I've been married to my beautiful black wife for 20 years. I chose her not because of her race, but because I love her unconditionally, plus she compliments me almost perfectly. I couldn't see myself married to no other woman.
But I still say everyone should "love the person who loves you".
That is beautiful! It’s great to hear about your strong bond and unconditional love after 20 years. I completely agree-love the person who truly loves you. Thank you for sharing your story! Cheers to your union!
@@ultimateinspector4901 congratulations and many blessings!
@@kgeorge9684
Thank you.
Rite going into a relationship then getting married to an older man just too become 2 years later a hospice wife go crazy!
I am dating and I have children. I've been engaged over the last few years. I'm running into men with mother issues and significant health problems ( ED, mother issues, hypertension, diabetes). Lots of laziness and insecurity. I'm in graduate school and working towards my doctorate degree. I don't have any problem dating someone with a trade...
However the options have been slim.
I understand what you mean! It’s tough when you’re meeting men with health issues that affect the relationship dynamic. Keep focusing on your goals, and don’t settle-someone who matches your energy and values is out there!
ED is on the rise with older black men
@natashalampkin366 Not for us older men who live overseas and have younger, fit and feminine women. I'm not following any of the Western standards women think men should follow. I'm in my 60's, have two main women and five side women. I had two women before I left America, but they got out of pocket. I cut one because she started talking that independent crap, so I let her be independent. The second one was jealous of her, so she wanted to leave, so I let her. She wanted to come back, but I told her no. Why take her back when I can go on to the next? I've always dealt with more than one woman. Most men won't admit this to women. I'm rich, so I don't have to put up with any BS. If she's not on my program, she's replaced. Most men are too weak to be like and live like that. I don't care what others think about how I'm living. I tell men if they have a problem with ED, check the woman you're with. I only get women who gets me up just by looking at them. I know you women won't like what I'm saying but I'm just putting that out there so you ladies in the West can understand why a man is depressed in the West. A big part of ED is in the man's mind. I've never taken any medicine for ED but I've been with a few women that gave it to me in the past. This is how I know 100% I'm not attracted to fat women. Can't know until you try. 🤷
Luckily my happiness is not dependent upon a man 😬
I'll be honest PearlieMaes with that type of "food" those short clips that are on your youtube page yes, if men are eating that type "stuff" regularly or at all you damn sure will have ED, high blood Pressure, diabetes, heart problems, obesity, etc. And you will too.💯 pork, fried chicken, french fries, sodas, flour, starch, canola vegetable peanut oils(inflammation on 10 with this "stuff")
this is great! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this!
Never ever allow your friends to set you up on a date with another person. I have been on two of does and they both have been my worst dating experiences. I will never ever allow it to happen again. One was my friend girl. I feel if she likes me she could had ask me out herself. The other my friend a man, I feel if he thinks I’m such a nice guy, than why was it so hard for him to leave me alone because I clearly told him I had no interest dating a woman at the moment. But I felt he was jealous because I seem so happy being single.
Accountability and lack of discipline…
This was a load of black lack of accountability word salad
You should know. When was the last time you were accountable to anyone or anything.
@@HelenaPaschal I didn't hear Bronson's video. I heard yours. Your video is a lot of "I'm just too much for these weak men", "they want us strong educated black women living in the past", "they just can't handle us". Nothing is your fault. Ever. Nothing.
And honestly as a successful man.....brothers are just tired of it. If going to school means you're on some "other level" now, then ma'am, go do you. Go live your life, enjoy. Reach for the stars and just for get men altogether. Because that's the real elephant in the room when it comes to the theme of what I hear all over your videos. You're an educated black woman. educated this. Educated that. Educated educated educated and so what.....It's all about you being educated and you have NOTHING to fix or improve about yourself to attract a strong, solid real man that's going to cherish you because.......educated black woman. You're a perfect divine black goddess mother of the earth and universe in your own right. Miss..... it's exhausting. No real man is going to deal with this shit.
Look at EVERY single relationships channel run by a black woman on youtube. It's literally every....single. ...channel that play some variation of "black women are too strong and these DL weak black men can't handle us goddesses". It's EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL. So you know what black men did? Especially the successful ones? They said girl bye.
@@iamcase1245 man I watched the first few minutes and got the same vibe... its the "me big and you little" attitude.. I do agree it gets very exhausting after a while. Those single Channel never offer solutions is the one thing I've noticed
We all know why black women are single. Kevin Samuels explained it in detail with receipts. Women who are interested in the truth know Kevin Samuels was trying to help them.
You mentioned black women being loyal for wanting to be with black men. That is simply not true !!!!
Put 100 Black women in the room and ask how many date outside of their race? Guess how many would say yes...
Mildred Loving surely wasn't...
@@HelenaPaschal THATS BECAUSE Y'ALL HAVE NO CHIOCE!!!!
EVEN NON BLACK MEN DON'T WANT TO BE WITH Y'ALL! YOU LIKE
STATISTICS, RIGHT....GO RESEARCH HOW MANY MEN LOOK FOR
Y'ALL TO DATE SERIOUS OR MARRY...AND GET BACK THIS COMMENT SECTION #YoureCookedKKKeisha
A lot of men are turned off by the disrespect and misandry they see on social media everyday.
Women are too. At this rate, nobody is going to want to get married.
@@HelenaPaschal It's not the same though. Men aren't making videos saying they don't need women on Monday and then asking where all the women are on Tuesday. Also, we can't overlook the way a lot of women present themselves on social media, over exposing their bodies and oversharing information about themselves and other people.
That isn't limited to Blk women only. There are plenty of uncooperative Karens ready to call the police on Blk men for you to write this nonsense.
I'm 59 and a black man. Healthy as all get out. I work out . Eat right . Not hard.
Do you believe you represent the majority of Black men over 50?
I'm 43 no kids with a normal job.....there is no hope really....I had an intervention last week with 3 women in my family....I might not ever bring up the subject again....I'm not what women want anyway
Nah just not what Keisha’s want!
The key word is MARRY!
Are you married?
@@HelenaPaschal ARE YOU????
You seem like a great catch for a wife. I love how you embraced the martial vows for better or worse, in sickness and health. Based on what you said, men of all races should be lining up to date a woman like you.
There are more girl babies being born too. More women than men available to date.
Very true.
I’m 27 & I’ve done my fair share of Shacking up in my earlier 20s but I do want marriage & my own family. I don’t have any kids & never been married but I still have hope. But the last relationship I was in she left because I brought marriage in a future sense & that “scared” her .. she was 25 no kids either & didn’t make more than me lol just throwing that in there. I don’t beat women or verbally abuse women …never did .. my parents was married for 18 years until my father died, so I seen what a real strong man does & how he leads & the women that I’m around …. They don’t want that … at least from me. 🤷🏾♂️ One of my army friends was married & strongly in love …. He didn’t cheat or abuse her but she cheated on him with his SGT ( White man) that didn’t gaf abt her. They divorced she took half his shit & continued seeing the SGT in my homies face while he had to stay with me in my barracks room until they gave him his barracks room. I say all this to say, it’s not always black men cheating or doing this & that sometimes these women FUCK up & DONT GAF afterwards ….. where’s the accountability for her. Or any women doing shit like that … she made it seem like he was evil & all when that clearly wasn’t the case. Idk nobody is perfect especially in 2024. That’s my 2 cents
Sickness and in health is part of reality. Both sexes can and will have health issues as we age. Obesity, high blood, and other possible preventable issues are prevalent among male and females in our community due to lack of exercise and proper nutrition.
Very true. Very true. Obesity is a major issue in our community. Serious.
Great video sis..new scribe..🥰
Thank you for subscribing!
@@HelenaPaschal you welcome..🥰
I agree with you I am 44 years old I am educated and I get a lot of attention from black men and men in general but I only wanted to date black men and I wish I would have dated outside my race now because it's hard for me to meet black men that are mature enough for me. I need to open my mind to date outside of black men even though I love black men and I find them physically attracted but mentally unstable.
I have a friend who is a black man that dates all race of women, but I noticed his standard are different for each race. He’ll wine and dine fat Asian women, but has little patience for average looking black women.
🧢
you ever thought that the non-blk may have a better attitude or more feminine ?
Definitely looks like glo-rilla older sister 😩
Smh...full conversation on here and that's your comment?!?
GLORILA
WORD...THEY'RE BOTH UGG-CAKES 🤣😂🤣
Inability to submit.
Women submit to leadership, men with power and a vision. Want submission? Be a man of integrity and purpose.
@@HelenaPaschal , submission isn't up for debate. They either do or they don't , most don't, which explains the title of your video. They can get them degrees, get that house, make that big money. But don't forget the cat food. They might as well get used to making dinner reservations for a party of one. Rest in Peace Kevin Samuels.
@@raylemar Sounds like a comment from an abuser. Good luck with that. Most women would rather have the company of a cuddly warm cat than a prickly old brute.
Bad attitude
If you have any doubts, don't do it
I wanna see the numbers of black men who are successful marry outside their race
Would be hard to get accurate proportions since some who marry outside do so with foreign women outside of the US.
@@demetriusjames9535 yeah and they are all on the 🦝+🚂
I want a African-American woman. Someone from my own culture that I can relate too.
I understand what you mean. Thank you for sharing!
@@HelenaPaschal Black women are NEEDED far more than they know.
Not ALL MEN cheat. Although there are quite a few that do, but not all. I'm 47. I have life cleaning to do before I think about marriage. SOME WOMEN are just as vicious as men when it comes to dating. Listen to "Beauty is only skin deep" by the Temptations
Do you believe the majority of men are just like you?
@@HelenaPaschal No. I believe only a small percentage have a similar situation as me. No 2 people are exactly the same. However, there can be similarities
A lie straight from hell is the concept of (Gangsta Rap). Black women should be the main opponent of this genre of music, this music pushes young Black men to incarceration and sheol or grave yard. Apart of the burning house that Dr King feared.
Are you suggesting it's the fault of women for men creating Gangsta rap music?
No, Black men created Gangsta Rap. Black women and women in general using their indirect power can either help reinvent Gangsta Rap back to its original intent to bring awareness to depressive communities or gangsta rap can collapse altogether. Using their indirect power and some direct power women can breathe life back into our community, restoring our culture back to what it was in our fore-parents day.
Well in the times were in now, who
Really cares.
Apparently, you do! Quick tip: if you don’t care, just scroll past instead of commenting.
Believe it or not there are a lot of good women and good men the problem is based on physical stero type. I'm creo average looking but I'm disabled but still independent and healthy I carry myself like a lady men don't want me due to my disability. Hell they don't even want to go for coffee.
At 5:00 minute mark you contradict the video. If you are dating an older man and expect him to be in perfect health. Then everyone else have their reasons too. Which leads to you not dating.
Another important reason is because Black men are starting to see what happens when you spend decades building with a Black women and she suddenly decides to call it quits. The court system will award her the children, the house and half his pay through alimony and child support. For young Black men looking to build something substantial with a Black women, marriage is becoming a lose-lose scenario. Now, if you're an older Black man that already have children and have your retirement account and own home marriage can be a good option because in the event of a divorce, what you own prior to marriage is considered separate property
Totally agree
Y’all want the truth ? Or babbling the same bs. I could make a list 😂 yall keep giving silly stats never say the truth. Keep giving bad info
It's funny we all know that word "Marriage" comes from the bible🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
How can it be good if we won't/don't follow it's creed or directions/instructions to it's suscess.
We do this Marriage thing like it's "OUR" WAY or NO WAY🫂🤦🏾♂️🙏🏿it can't be Holy but sure can be "matrimony" without glue.
I’m an 40 yr old black woman and I divorced my husband because of financial infidelity and his health issues. I wasn’t going to allow him to pull me down financially when I worked hard to come from the bottom. He didn’t want to be healthy no matter how hard I tried; begging, asking, crying. He got too comfortable and wanted me to be his caretaker. You’re right about “equally yoked” Some black men don’t want to take care of themselves, they want the women to cook, clean, take care of kids, work and pay bills, take care of them mentally, physically and sexually. I was tired! I would like someone who can equally navigate life and understand the importance of loving self and being healthy.
Because "Black Love" doesn't exist. Remy Ma (and my two ex wives) taught me that.
I been saying most BM are with BW
I assume because of caution in these days with men. Which it is shameful. Like the song where R. Kelly singing about what one man cause all women to hate all men.
Interesting that you would use R.Kelly's song when mentioning why women are cautious of men.
@@HelenaPaschal yeah and “When Women Fed Up”
Black women have vary scary choices when there young. Men want to wife up women before 30.
When will people bring The Lord back into Marriage?
It's unlikely to happen. Many people are leaving the church, and a significant number no longer believe in religion or the sovereignty of Jesus.
@@HelenaPaschal I agree… so unfortunate
The fact you want someone to take care of you but wont take of someone in a time of need shows you dont deserve someone. Enjoy the cats because you talk like younger women and I see why you're single.
Because they don't know how to summit to any one
❤❤❤
I'm a man who has been married for over twenty years to a medium dark skin Black woman. As a man I will not cheat because I'm risking the mother of my children's life. More of us men and women must understand this concept.
As a woman nears menopause her body screams "BABY" "BABY", boosting the woman's sex drive, as couples. Age the phenomenon has to be discussed and planned.
I am looking for you all
I must say by God's Grace that until she kept doing infidelity unwanted divorce...I was and wanted to be married so for me unfortunately I'm one the rarities..believing the Lord somehow in this ridiculous world to be married again that I'm wanting to do till ----- do us part as Christ says
Marriage sucks...straight!
The reason why ther are so many single black women is because of all these beautiful Latinas that are coming here, my lord I haven't been with a black woman in over 10 years 😊
Yeah, and they’re realizing they have the attitudes they criticize in Black women. Have you seen Erica Mena’s story lately?!
@@HelenaPaschal black women simply are the least desirable period, why?
Baby boomer men have alot health problem lately gen x millennials and gen z men are very health conscious now!
Lots of men including black men get married while incarcerated.... it's not jail causing a rift in Black relatability and cohesion between man and woman.... something deeper....
Black women being independent has nothing to do with black women being single
Smh an independent woman sees no benefit in being in a relationship which is the main reason she’s single…it’s a choice. People act like women aren’t choosing to be single.
I believe we're also trying to play it safe. These men out here are trying to pass around diseases. And they usually want just sex
A few maybe but the vast majority are simply not being chosen by the kinds of men they actually want. Too many black American women are overweight, crass/ratchet and delusional. That's the real reason y most of yall are single. And men from other races aren't checking for yall either. Men choose who they want to marry, women choose who they sleep with.
@HelenaPaschal The real question is, Why are Black American women the least desirable for dating, marriage?😮
@HelenaPaschal Women don't choose to be single stop with the lies men ain't all that special they cheat lie more than women they are more narcissistic than women like come on woman stop making men the priority in life how about love yourself and have a relationship with God you don't need a man to be happy and successful. Stop being a pick me. You can't force a man to be in a relationship with you. When will you black mammies gonna wake up and open up your options to other races of men.
When a man loves his woman more than he loves sex he will not cheat.
It is not always the sex that men cheat because of, but the lack of respect they are given by their woman.
@@demetriusjames9535 Of course men have to learn how to choose the right mate.
Most ones I meet love thugs and hate provider types. Then they end up single moms.
Change your environment and level up! I couldn’t imagine being around people like that by choice.
@@HelenaPaschal Awwww. So are you really adorable intelligent and sweet ?. When are they cloning more of you lol.
I'm going to purchase that book , I didn't know you was an author 👍🏾👍🏾😉
Their not getting married because they look like you 😂
The reason so many Black women are single is because of the high death rate of young Black men due to hopelessness,drugs, and alcohol.