I'm so glad you brought this up because I see/ hear this a lot in support groups. My brother's wife would make statements like "if he stops, I'll stop.." My brother is the one with the bigger problem, but I suspect she has a bit of one as well, and I partly know this as I used to party with her. I believe my own drinking prevented me from seeing my husband's problem sooner. I was lucky in a way as I have very low tolerance and my hang overs were so bad I slowed enough for it not to develop into a problem. Then I read This Naked Mind which killed any remaining desire to drink.
It would be so wonderful if you could do some videos on adult children of alcoholic parents. Especially having to deal with them living with you and how it affects the adult children and their family. Thank you
Yes. I’m personally facing that as well. I’m a child of adult alcoholic parents and lived through way too much drama and lost a brother to soon (49) to alcoholism and dad, stepdad, my mom is not drinking for last 20 years but she’s now elderly needs soon to move in with most likely me- and when I start thinking of the care taking and living with my AH makes me feel almost defeated. Like I can’t breath and it causes me anxiety because I still feel the need to “please her” while trying to put boundaries in place for AH. All of it makes me feel like that child who had zero control but tried so hard to keep the peace with all.
Thank you for the help. I recently learned the story of a local attorney who says his wife saved his life. He was sitting on the floor of their living room, drunk, and told his wife to go out and buy him a bottle of wine. She said, I'll go buy you more wine if you sign the house over to me. He did. She bought the wine. And then when she had given him the bottle she said, now get out of my house. Surprisingly, he is now sober and they still have a happy marriage.
Thank you for this! My bf is now in rehab but prior to him going, I was feeling badly about drinking with him. I never nagged him about drinking and he decided to go to rehab on his own. I never shamed him about him either. Now he's saying it's okay if I drink around him when he comes out of rehab but there's no way I will be doing that the first year or more. Just want to support his sobriety.
my husband have been in many rehabs I did not know he had such a big problem....then when I went to rehab group I learned alot the people there called him out nou we don't go to after care meetings because of the judgements. I learned he gets triggered by adds of alchol....never new. I don't drink at all. but he will through evrything back at me if I'm imperfect if he can find something he will use it. I'm new to how to deal addiction so I went to meetings for aftercare. I learned a fair bit but I found the its draining for me and they were hitting on me and there was judgement was not a great supporting group......sadly I think you need to find a safe space for you thar group was not long term solution for me.....
My question to the universe. My GF is an alcoholic in recovery, today is day 177. She has just 6 months in rehab. Amazing. She is now living in a 1/2 house for an unknown amount of time. We have decided to be freinds and take moment at a time. She is very reluctant to see me And breaks plans that we make. She said she needs to see how this will work. I dont know wheather to leave her be or contiunue to stand by her side. I am honstly taking a beating but I am strong and can see that there can be a future. Should I do no contact for a period of time, stay accessible or just bail? Yes I love her and adore her and I know she has love for me.
She has asked that you leave her alone. So, leave her alone. If she wants to continue with you, she will reach out to you in her own time. (I am not a therapist or a shrink)
I would say stay accessible if you're hoping to continue the relationship. Let her know you love her & you're there for her. Then, take time to work on you. There are a lot of things we do as the people who love someone with a sud that is not good for ourselves or for our loved one. Get the book Beyond Addiction. It helps you navigate communication & interaction with a loved one with a sud. Thoughts & prayers for continued health & recovery for you both! 🙏🏼💚🙏🏼
@JeriMo W substance use disorder, it's a different way to refer to our loved ones with a drug or alcohol use problem, also accepted medical terminology for their diagnoses. My loved ones' medical record doesn't say alcoholic. It says 'alcohol use disorder' or AUD.
How do i connect with Campbell (sp?) on the question of how to work with a family member who is not contributing? Should I join the family group as a member?? Thanks so much for your videos!
Amber - put in a doggy door in the door? 🤔🙂 Just an idea. Maybe wouldn't help. 🤔. Or leave open propped open a crack with swimming noodles in the spaces and a towel for a flap at tje bottom or something.
![กี่หมื่นฟ้า | Your Sky Series EP.1 [1/4]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vLGjxFL6U_I/mqdefault.jpg)
How do I support my loved one when I'm full of anger, resentment, and hurt? 👉🏻👉🏻th-cam.com/users/liveGxbDqlavrLs
I wish you lived here in Ireland. I'd love a conversation with you. Thanks for your videos they are a light 🕯️ in darkness.
I'm so glad you brought this up because I see/ hear this a lot in support groups. My brother's wife would make statements like "if he stops, I'll stop.." My brother is the one with the bigger problem, but I suspect she has a bit of one as well, and I partly know this as I used to party with her.
I believe my own drinking prevented me from seeing my husband's problem sooner. I was lucky in a way as I have very low tolerance and my hang overs were so bad I slowed enough for it not to develop into a problem. Then I read This Naked Mind which killed any remaining desire to drink.
That's a great book!
It would be so wonderful if you could do some videos on adult children of alcoholic parents. Especially having to deal with them living with you and how it affects the adult children and their family. Thank you
Yes. I’m personally facing that as well. I’m a child of adult alcoholic parents and lived through way too much drama and lost a brother to soon (49) to alcoholism and dad, stepdad, my mom is not drinking for last 20 years but she’s now elderly needs soon to move in with most likely me- and when I start thinking of the care taking and living with my AH makes me feel almost defeated. Like I can’t breath and it causes me anxiety because I still feel the need to “please her” while trying to put boundaries in place for AH. All of it makes me feel like that child who had zero control but tried so hard to keep the peace with all.
Thank you for the help.
I recently learned the story of a local attorney who says his wife saved his life. He was sitting on the floor of their living room, drunk, and told his wife to go out and buy him a bottle of wine. She said, I'll go buy you more wine if you sign the house over to me. He did. She bought the wine. And then when she had given him the bottle she said, now get out of my house.
Surprisingly, he is now sober and they still have a happy marriage.
Hello from the heart ❤️ of Illinois USA 🇺🇸 Amber, thank you for all the time and work you give to this channel. Love you! ❤
Thank you so much, my Illinois friend 😁
So happy you address these issues!! Thanks again Amber!!
Thank you for this! My bf is now in rehab but prior to him going, I was feeling badly about drinking with him. I never nagged him about drinking and he decided to go to rehab on his own. I never shamed him about him either. Now he's saying it's okay if I drink around him when he comes out of rehab but there's no way I will be doing that the first year or more. Just want to support his sobriety.
See you tomorrow! You're gonna ROCK!
Thank you so much for doing this channel!
My pleasure!
I am listening from Wyoming.
Please do a video about dry drunk ! 🙏
Thank you ❤
My pleasure, Cathy!
Aviation! OMG....the access to alcohol is out the gate
my husband have been in many rehabs I did not know he had such a big problem....then when I went to rehab group I learned alot the people there called him out nou we don't go to after care meetings because of the judgements. I learned he gets triggered by adds of alchol....never new. I don't drink at all. but he will through evrything back at me if I'm imperfect if he can find something he will use it.
I'm new to how to deal addiction so I went to meetings for aftercare. I learned a fair bit but I found the its draining for me and they were hitting on me and there was judgement was not a great supporting group......sadly I think you need to find a safe space for you thar group was not long term solution for me.....
From Itty bitty RI 😁
My question to the universe.
My GF is an alcoholic in recovery, today is day 177.
She has just 6 months in rehab. Amazing.
She is now living in a 1/2 house for an unknown amount of time.
We have decided to be freinds and take moment at a time.
She is very reluctant to see me And breaks plans that we make.
She said she needs to see how this will work.
I dont know wheather to leave her be or contiunue to stand by her side.
I am honstly taking a beating but I am strong and can see that there can be a future.
Should I do no contact for a period of time, stay accessible or just bail?
Yes I love her and adore her and I know she has love for me.
She has asked that you leave her alone. So, leave her alone. If she wants to continue with you, she will reach out to you in her own time. (I am not a therapist or a shrink)
I would say stay accessible if you're hoping to continue the relationship. Let her know you love her & you're there for her. Then, take time to work on you. There are a lot of things we do as the people who love someone with a sud that is not good for ourselves or for our loved one. Get the book Beyond Addiction. It helps you navigate communication & interaction with a loved one with a sud. Thoughts & prayers for continued health & recovery for you both! 🙏🏼💚🙏🏼
@@renee8030 Great comment! What is sud?
@JeriMo W substance use disorder, it's a different way to refer to our loved ones with a drug or alcohol use problem, also accepted medical terminology for their diagnoses. My loved ones' medical record doesn't say alcoholic. It says 'alcohol use disorder' or AUD.
@@renee8030 Thanks!
How do i connect with Campbell (sp?) on the question of how to work with a family member who is not contributing? Should I join the family group as a member?? Thanks so much for your videos!
So nice and cool 😎
I'm seeing the replay from nj
Amber - put in a doggy door in the door? 🤔🙂 Just an idea. Maybe wouldn't help. 🤔. Or leave open propped open a crack with swimming noodles in the spaces and a towel for a flap at tje bottom or something.
He does not admit he has a drinking problem and hidd it and always gets nasty and telling me to leave he has some one else
Short and meaning? No way for me becouse your video is to long and no time to watch ,