Answering Your Questions About Polyamory: Part 1
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
- We asked our audience for their burning questions about polyamory. Here are our answers!
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Lauren: / hellolauren. .
Elyse: / elysequail
Rob: / _roblim
As someone really curious about polyamory, this was such an educating video and inspiring. I really appreciate how honest y’all are.
Hey Murphy! So happy that the work we're doing is helping you! We really just want to help educate - and to be honest, a lot more people are curious than those who are willing to admit it! Thanks for following us, we totally appreciate it!
I truly believe these type of relationships are far more honest than monogamous relationships. I believe you're forced to put it all on the table especially for a man.
I'm polyamourus and I'm a bisexual Transgender woman.
Incredible Life : “If you have room in your heart for multiple kids, why couldn’t you have room for multiple partners?” Because unlike with kids, you have sex with your partner. Or are you saying we can have sex with as many ppl as the number of kids we can love? The claim of compersion as the opposite of jealousy, and that jealousy is caused by insecurity, would mean that people who have reached compersion would be so secure and so selfless to let their partner sleep with and fall in love with another, to the point of graciously letting the relationship dissolve if their partners end up loving and feeling more compatible with their new partner more. Right?
Yes!
I personally couldn’t handle more responsibility to have another or more partners, so to me,
it’s wonderful how mature and hard working you all are! Very admirable :)
It’s also very interesting to see how different the dynamics are in each thruple.
Everyone tends to have a unique little system and i think that’s cool because it’s created for what is best for every partner!
My children are older and I had no issues telling them. Since two of them informed me I'm poly. "Mom, you're so poly. Deal." They are in their twenties. The teens just figured it out. They are all too smart and none of them were upset, nor shocked.
What about your husband? Thano you for your story..! I’m married 33 years next month! I believe I’m bi! Because I had some amazing relationship with someone . My first relationship was with my .! I don’t know if I should say ! Because you all would think I’m crazy! If you ask I’ll tell you you.
The previously married ones are no longer together, and thats what most of us were missing this entire video. They are still good friends.
both monogamy and polyamory is no guarantee that the relationship will work out , they both face challenges
Just like sisters wife’s! They didn’t make it
2:50 Yeah, kids are usually pretty chill with whatever. I’ve had to tell quite a few kids why I’m dressing “like a boy” and why everyone is calling me by a new name, and every time I start off like “this is serious, it’s a true thing that happens, it’s called being transgender,” and they’re always like “okay, whatever, can we play now?”. I feel like we, in the LGBTQIA+ community, are always [understandably] nervous to come out to anyone, but it’s frequently the adults, not the kids, who react negatively.
When I usually watch these kinds of videos about polyamory (which I am for), I sometimes see self-absored, controlling men using polyamory as a way to be able to have sex/relationships with multiple women and not really be held accountable. They talk a good talk, but the women seem disempowered, and it often feels like they're trying hard to go along with something that in their hearts doesn't seem right. It's obviously complicated, but with this couple I can't get over a having a similiar feeling-only that the script has been flipped. Read into that what you will. Coparenting isn't the same as polyamory. And while they still get along (and seem happy in the other people they've partnered with), I get along with my ex and coparent as well-no polyamorous construct needed. Unless they are defining things in a Relationship Anarchy kind of way, the manner in which this couple shifted their relationship doesn't seem fully honest to me, and people interested in Polyamory shouldn't take this as "the way" this is done. Maybe it's worked for them (and I guess that's all that matters-who really cares about some random TH-cam commenter...), but for me it would feel manipulative and kinda dishonest. Just my two cents. This isn't meant to be a negative "hit job" on either of you or your relationship, I just needed to share my thoughts. Ultimately, I genuinely hope you are both feeling happy and fulfilled in your lives, and that your children are appropriately centered in whatever relationship you have (which I'm sure they are...)
Is very commendable of Rob and Elise to also work together to ensure that things go as smoothly as possible. 💕✨
very inspiring to hear your concerns about the other partner getting enough time etc
Since there is no solid poly-minded dating site, I'm just going to leave this here: 5'10" 180lbs Never married, one amazing 4 year old daughter, loves dogs, traveling and photography. LOL
Ive been watching a few of your videos and I’ve noticed a few things I’d like to comment on. First, there doesn’t really seem to be any polyamory going on here. What I see is a failed marriage where the wife left her husband for her lesbian lover. I now that you were all three together for a while but I don’t really connect that with Poly because it wasn’t really a three way relationship it was more of a transition from monogamous marriage with Rob to now a monogamous relationship with your new partner. Even now there seems to be two parallel relationships going on with the girls and Rob and Lauren (?). There doesn’t seem to be a lot of ethical non-monogamy going on. Another thing I see is that Rob really seems to have been in an almost abusive relationship (In my opinion) and I dont say that lightly. It really seems that his feelings and any consideration of him weren’t part of this equation at any point during Laurens headlong rush to becoming lesbian. It’s a very different kind of guy who’ll sleep on an air mattress so his wife can have sex with another person. I mean, it was his house and he was sleeping on an air mattress. I also wonder how things felt for Rob when he was trying to be a good guy and let his wife be who she needs to be only to have her leave. He said some things bout this being a worst case scenario (If I remember right) in another video only to have Lauren cut him off and say It really wasn’t. I guess Rob is only allowed to feel what Lauren wants him to feel. He’s allowed to feel what he wants and he is a man who’s marriage is over. This is just the way I see things as an outsider looking in. I hope Rob has found happiness with his new Lauren.
At least from part 1 here I got the same vibe.
Wow..... I like you
more or less i felt the same way and got a great amount frustration. This doesnt look like polyamory. This looked like a nice transition for Lauren to being lesbian and leaving her husband. I feel quite sad for Rob, i feel like hes been treated in an unfair way to say the least
Unsure whether Rob is also intimate with Elise, it doesn't really seem that way...
For it to be truly polyamourous, I'd expect all three individuals have (roughly) the same relation / level of intimacy with each other.
Thank you for spreading love in this wonderful world. There is so much sadness, anger and troll-like people who just want to judge! Thanks-Thanks-Thanks for speaking out about spreading love, it’s worth so much! Love from The Netherlands.
Aww! Hi Anouk! Thank you so much for this lovely comment. You've made our day! Love back to you!
11:31 Yesss communication is key! We stan some excellent communication!! :)))
❤
What are the pros and cons of being in a poly relationship for women ?👨👩👩
We should support polyamourous and fluidbonding relationships human rights. They should have the same rights as monogamous married individuals.
Super interesting. I'm starting this journey myself and I've found something that's been a little challenging is that my partner obviously is a different person and has needs and expectations different from me, and I think maybe we partly hope the other will move towards the way we each want to process and proceed. Is it possible to do that independently and still move forward successfully or do you think you have to be moving at the exact same pace doing the exact same thing?
It's different for every couple! All we can truly share is what we've experiences ourselves. As a general rule of thumb, it's important to communicate your feelings. It can be hard to move forward is you aren't on the same page, but if you can find it in yourself to be patient and respect your partner's process, everyone will be better off.
silverbracelet6 , If your " starting" this journey, I'll suggest you turn around and run in the other direction before your life is completely ruined!
I’m a bit confused about how this is polyamory?? I’m new to this and still a bit confused about certain details.. but isn’t this just a gay woman who left her husband for a gay woman?
Thank you, i thought the same. She want to eat her cake and have it
Even the way she looks at her lover when talks..., the guy is out of the picture
they aren't currently all in a relationship, but they are talking about a time when they were in a polyamorus relationship. Lauren and Elyse are living together, Rob is just a good friend because Lauren has discovered that she is lesbian.
@@fairyseob that explains alot, pretty sure she knew that she was a lesbian before starting their polyamorous relationship
@@nyishto well she didn't know (she thought she was bi) but while she was in her polyamorous relationship, she discovered that she's lesbian.
When you were In a relationship with both partners and spent time all together who were you more focused on/ more romantic with? ( eg. If watching a movie who would you cuddle with.)
We definitely had times where we would watch movies or hang out all together. Usually I would sit in the middle with Elyse and Rob on either side. As much as we tried to keep things balanced, there was definitely more romantic attention going towards Elyse, considering I'm gay! It was this dynamic of wanting to be with Elyse romantically instead of Rob that led me to understand my true identity and preferences.
She's right, she's gay, and he should just accept it and move on, and just co-parent.
@@breguet101 SHE THE ONE THAT DESTROYED THE MARRIAGE SO SHE COULD LIVE A LIFESTYLE THAT WAS NOT NORMAL
The woman in the middle's shirt was brothering me. I'm autistic.
I agree with you
in a monogamous relationship if I would have even a one night stand with someone else for whatever reason and she would end it with me I would feel that she never really loved and accepted me for who I truely am and I would feel she would then reject ME, and that is where polyamory is very very different that the part that I like about it, to actually live in the same house with your wife and lover hypothically for example would in my view be a step to far even to invite your lover for a cup of tea in your house with your wife present , although the freedom and acceptence of it all I find refreshing monogamy is so judgmental, repressive and controllng , a gemini doesnt like to feel caged , a bird in a cage has one instinct : to fly away (from you)
She stop sleeping with the husband so this is not a poly relationship
You two look like twin sisters!
Only on this channel only.
“They’ve never been told non monogamy is strange.” EXACTLY. always room for love.
These women look like twins
Totally agree! They look like twin sisters
Livinggggggggg my dream tho 😍
This doesn't seem poly. It seems like the wife realised she's gay and got to explore with a woman and has the husband cucked out for security and sits back left out. There is such an obvious disconnect here.
Wow...so bi people don't exist.
yo its olly from HTGAWM 😆
How do you met each other and talk about it ?
Hey Jet Laser! You can find our videos about how we met here:
(How Rob and Lauren First Met) th-cam.com/video/oK5cByHsGcU/w-d-xo.html
(How Lauren and Elyse First Met) th-cam.com/video/Xotrg2PL57M/w-d-xo.html
I always wondering how the money works in this kind of lifestyle? I also wonder about the children's futures...what is one of these partners chooses to leave.., and the kids grows to love them and then they get heart broken.. Who pays for the children's needs? Who pays for the kid's college? Who legally gets the kids if one or more of the biological parents dies?
Poor bloody Rob, the hapless poor dufus. There isn’t much in this arrangement for him is there? Except that if he files for divorce he most likely loses custody of his children anyway.
What I want to know is how do you avoid this happening in the first place? Perhaps bu not entering a relationship with a woman if the sex isn’t right?
I’m confused are rob and Lauren not together?
Hi Lex! Rob and Lauren explored polyamory in 2017! They have since realized that Lauren is gay (not bisexual) and have therefore parted ways. They are separated but still best friends! Lauren and Elyse live together. These videos are a reflection on the time when the three of us were in a polyamorous relationship. Hope this clear things up!
I'm sure if he was willing to admit it he has some doubts and reservations about his new relationship if she is going to use him too
So this is NOT a three way ?
What do the kids call the second woman?
What is E's back story?
Great question! We're looking forward to addressing Elyse's backstory in future videos. In the meantime, you can check out her personal instagram account @elysequail to learn more about her as an individual!
😏 kids are so cool... like, ok whatever
Found this very instructive tho many many things I couldn't wrap my head around this. Rob seems to made much of the accomodation. Feel weird that one of you have everything while others have half no?
My girlfriend's girlfriend she looks like you.
My girlfriend's girlfriend she's my girl too...
I wish my husband was comfortable with me having a girlfriend
Discuss it with him...who knows? You might get your wish😉
My wife had a gf and a boyfriend until they recently broke up. Now she just had other partners
The hard part is wondering if the partner is just trying to politely dump you. It's extremely rare that someone really wants to stay with you if they start talking about dating someone else.
I'm bi and polyamorus relationships appeal to me. But I know it's not remotely realistic. Very few people are even honest with themselves. Much less others
@@Myke_thehuman You are right. We have both discussed how we feel and
I don’t get sex Life
If seems too me she left her husband /! Marriage to be a lesbian! I feel bad for rob! But I’m married to a beautiful woman! Yes I have fantasies about being with a guy again ! Yea I see myself bi
Give 30m likes.
I want poly relationship.
Why do you all have the same haircut?
It’s really refreshing to see polyamory in a positive light
The best life of all worlds.
It seems that in this deal the guy got the shitty end of the stick. The guy always loses. He needs to start looking for another place to live. The girls kinda shut him out.
Poor guy , he got to watch but now they found out the wife is gay...🤓
we are born to feel for more than one person and we are capable to even love more than just the one ; if you believe in god then god = love , and in that case sex is the physical expression of that love ;so how can any human or god judge that ? that is exactly why I dont like religion because they are far too judgemental which by the way is against their own teachings,
P.S. I am agnostic not an atheist, so yes , a part of me believes in god and a part of me doesnt and a part of me fnds it very hard to (I am a gemini, a gemini can look at things non judgmentally
and see things from may perspectives
This video is all lies they was never in a poly relationship
sinful sexually will always justify itself
AGREE
Satan is the father of lies and comes as an angel of light. This will never work in the long run. You see it seems fascinating because we are sinful. But soon this will break you, hurt you, and cause you to be destroyed spiritually. I reject this "idea" as a follower of Christ. It sounds kind of fun. But I struggled with addiction and slept around. All the men I slept with knew I was I knew they were too it totally destroyed me and recked my idea of what love was. Jesus rescued me set me free from addiction and has changed my life. God is love. There is no greater love. Follow his ways and you will be fulfilled ❤️
92% of this type of relationship ends in someone getting hurt so if you love the person you are with get counseling and fight to stay true to each other.If You think you have to do this then quite and leave becouse it's not going to work out .
It's depressing to see the playful smile on Laurens face as she repeated the question, "How did you explain it to your kids?" She seems blissfully ignorant as to the potentially devastating effect of her actions on her children.