Suicide...Hiding In Plain Sight with Wes Hampton and Mark Means | Dinner Conversations
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 เม.ย. 2020
- Licensed therapist Mark Means (markmeans.com) facilitates a sensitive discussion around the whys and whats of our culture’s suicide crisis and how community can help. His singing son-in-law Wes Hampton (weshampton.com) of the Gaither Vocal Band highlights the conversation with music.
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Great episode! What I love is that by talking about suicide we make it less taboo and thus remove some of its power.
I love it when he says "Gaither songs are therapy for me." because Gaither songs and videos stopped me from killing myself earlier this year. I'm doing much better now through counseling and meds, and the grace of God the Creator who didn't make any mistakes, including me. Thanks for doing this Mark. Thank you for the music as well, Wes.
Those Gaither folks are a miracle in our lives.
Brad, I am so glad God gave you the Gaither’s at that moment. I was there 20 some years ago and it’s pretty awesome the way God intervenes through a word, a song, a person.
Brad, we are on your side brother. You are in my prayers man. May God bless you brother.
Mark, thank you for discussing sucide without judgment. I thought about taking my life from the time I was a child until to age 50. After yesrs of crying out to God, I finally received help. Mental illness carries such a stigma especially in the church. It is not a demonic. No one judges a diabetic for being ill. It isn't demonic or a spiritual problem
I’ve been married for 30 years to someone who I really believe is narsisist. It’s gotten to where I don’t talk to him anymore. When I do it often ends up with very hurtful grenades aimed at me, piercing my soul. I’m exhausted. I’m on a waiting list for my own condo. Life is intolerable . I isolate myself. Most people don’t “see” what I’m living with. Thank you. I do have a Christian woman counselor , but with the lock down , I cant have any appointments . Everyday is the same! When will it change. Can’t wait till I live alone .
A lot of people do not realize how great Wes 'as voice is ...he is so quiet
Mark Means is a treasure. His insight, empathy and skill as a therapist have made a huge difference in so many lives. Thank God for him-- and thank you Mark and Andrew, for sharing his wisdom with your viewers.
We love you, Tori.
Love you, Victoria! (and Russ!!)
Wes has the voice of an Angel.
Mark Means, thank you for being on tonight. Your words are saying tonight hit me where it counts
I love Wes's voice...a real gentleman for all these years..
And Mark? Wow!
Wes has a very blessed voice! The songs he sang tonight is beautiful!
As someone who has battled with this issue all my life, since early childhood, I came across a statement one day where someone said that 'suicide is a deliberate choice to not trust in the power and love of an almighty God'. For some reason that simple statement has kept me going.
My longer testimony is posted herein, but in summary, it was God's revelation to me that it was Satan who was badgering me toward suicide that opened my eyes to the main forces behind my despair. Blessings
Thank you for sharing that Zin. I've struggled likewise in my life and that is a gem I will keep tucked in my heart and share it with others.
I am thankful that my psychiatrist and therapists didn't say that to me. It would have only reinforced the shame I already felt. Many people form their image of God by listening to their earthly father. If their father was abusive, then they learn to fear God.
Oh my goodness… my face is wet… What an incredibly beautiful and emotional song! (I’ll Pray for You) And sung so tenderly by Wes. Depression is such a silent killer.
Wes is my favorite gospel singer
This was so much fun! Thanks everyone for watching!
We're grateful you were able to join us!
Hi Mr. Hampton, will you please give me the title of the song about leaving your past behind. I have been in a bad depression since 2004 and I just can't forgive and forget my past.
Barbara Muller I Will Go On is the name of that song. It’s on the Gaither Vocal Band album Give it Away. Thanks!
Wes Hampton thank you for the beautiful songs you shared tonight! God bless you!!!
@@hamppon Thank You - I love your singing.
After losing my wife at 46 to a brain tumor back in 2012 I learned personally this lesson of not trying to find the perfect words to”fix” the situation or person and just to listen because in most situations that’s all we can do and a lot of times that’s what people want the most.
I have tried to die 11 times I lost my dear wife to death March 4th 2016 at 5 PM I needed to see this Thank you!!!
Please read my testimony elsewhere on this post ... don't let Satan get the victory!
I have enjoyed your music and comedic ministry since the 1990s, and I have been truly blessed! PLEASE continue this conversation ministry. The artists and therapists you invite to share their stories are helping SO many people. It's important to know that God loves us through our depression, and that we are not failures because of struggles with mental illness.
If anyone is battling suicidal thoughts, PLEASE be encouraged by this broadcast to seek help immediately!
Thank you Wes for this powerful song.God gave you a truly beautiful voice which is appreciate by so many.I often sit down and enjoy the beautiful music of a fun loving Gaither Band video.
Thank you for this conversation. I have lived through having depression and tried to hide it from church members because they think I don’t have enough faith. I have been shamed by pastors who don’t believe Christians should take antidepressants. I have taken them for years and I am stable. I might not be without the meds. The stigma from church is part of what fueled one of my major depressive episodes. That and being told by friends to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I am so glad to know there are other Christians who don’t condemn you for having mental health issues. God Bless!
Mark and Andrew....you two are among the best interviewers I have ever watched. The intent in which you look at your guest (truly look at them) and the back in forth with your conversations is absolutely beautiful! This is one of my most favorite podcast on the net. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH & keep bringing your followers such amazing guest. THANK YOU! 👆🙏👆
This conversation was helpful to me. My son has had suicidal thoughts. Suicide is "Real" My son struggles with the disrespect from his dad. We are divorced. My son fears his father. When my son is with me, my son is the happiest boy in the world. So grateful that you guys have had this conversation. Get the word out. It is Real!!!
What a fantastic conversation. Thank you for talking about the hard things.
My husband committed suicide while I tried to stop him. Face to face, his eyes (usually beautiful green) were black and appeared to be dark pools with no bottom. Never will get over this. He was a retired Marine. God bless those who have to deal with suicide! Evil can reside everywhere unexpectedly. Don't ask the survivors why. If they knew, they would have done something about it. You may be curious but you are just adding to their guilt and shame. SO hard!! WES - I NEEDED THIS SONG!!
Bless your heart. I’m so sorry.
Wes has a voice that you can get lost into, look forward to Monday night.
Mark I have heard wes sing I'll pray for you before. My husband and I are going thru a very difficult time in our lives. This song touched me so deeply. Thank you OUR GOD knows exactly what we need. Thank you for letting GOD' S SPIRIT lead you. Continued
blessings in all you do.
Bb. No nmm
I think this is such a perfect message for this time and a day that is so important for us as a people in the world today. So many people are hurting and feel all alone. But our Churches should be the first place of safety for those who are hurting and feeling all alone. Jesus loves us at our worst and our best. We as a body should also reach out to those who are hurting. Listening is a huge gift to give to those who are hurting. A hug, and shoulder to cry on is often times the balm that people need most!!
Thank you, this conversation has helped me so much with knowing how to understand my husband more. Wow I was getting it all wrong. I’ll be watching this many more times.
Thank you Wes for the touching song.
I’ve been watching some of the Dinner Conversations recently.
You all are having such important conversations in front of us… I just really love it.
And the songs are tremendously good❕
God bless and keep everyone.
I'm glad to see that the church is having this discussion about suicide and mental illness
Very insightful conversation related to a sensitive topic! Really enjoyed the wisdom from Mark Means & musical performances given by Wes Hampton!
Yes you all over the yrs. have been therapy for a lot of us!! So much appreciated!!🤗🤗
Churches should have that kind of care for FREE. IF "The Counselor" is being PAID BY THE CHURCH that SERVICE SHOULD BE FREE For those who CANNOT PAY FOR THERAPY.
Thank you so much for this topic Mark! I've struggled with depression after having discovering that I more than likely have ASD and its cousin ADHD but just haven't found professionals who understand this for adults. May more people like us who follow Christ be more empathetic to those things they do not experience. You were the first person I also heard mention Adhd over a decade ago . Your ministry is for sure reaching far ends of the earth and may God bless you! Keep Singing God's word and sharing it with grace just like you do!
This episode is soooo great!! I love listening to grace filled people like Mark (both Marks)
Mark thank you guys for putting this out there. Sooooo many peoipe need it.
This was a great conversation wish a lot more people would listen..God bless you both!
Wow what a great "conversation! I've not had suicidal thoughts or dealt with deep depression so this conversation opened my eyes to what others deal with. Many of the comments on friendship, fostering friendship was so helpful and I identify being a single person and dealing with loneliness. Thank you!
Thanks you for this.
Knowing people who have attempted and sadly successfully done it. Knowing those who are no longer around. I've thought, well maybe attempted.....
This is great no matter your faith/believe.
I have listened to him sing for a very long time with the Gaither groups. Yet I have never heard such a moving song done by him. It is so great.
Very good information. As a retired Psych Nurse I know this is a very sensitive and important subject.
Thank you.
Wow! Best DC ever! Thank you!
LOVE THIS SONG Wes!!!!!! have loved it from day one I heard it!!!
Great talk. I was the youngest of six in a alcoholic home. We were left on our own all day - we lived in the country though and was in the late 50's. Different time then. The thing I always thought was weird was none of my older siblings watched out for me either. I always felt like a neglected child in a house full of people. We also NEVER talked about what was happening at home until we were adults. If I say now to them I felt neglected by them... standard answer is - OMG - can you stop fixating on that stuff... we were all in the same boat - stop being so negative about things. Your talk helped a lot. Thank you.
Sometimes it’s not the worry about being a burden, or the loss of hope, it’s the overwhelming pain, just wanting that pain to end. If you are a person with PTSD, or CPTSD, it can hit so hard and fast you don’t see it coming. I love the insight you have all shared.
Many years ago when I was dealing with depression my church told me exactly what Mark Means said here; I must not be praying or reading my Bible enough. That did more to harm me than help me. Even though I was a Christian, suicide was not off the table. I was in so much pain and did not know how to feel better. I am so thankful for the group of Christian doctors and therapists that helped me heal. I pray that the church would be the place someone could turn to when they're struggling. Sadly I still see the church as being a place that renders judgment and pushes a person further away from God. Thank you for bringing suicide to your table. May the hurting find a place of love and acceptance in the church and God's children.
Wes's singing was so lovely.
Enjoyed this dinner conversation!! Wes and Mark Means are both great as are Andrew and Mark L. Thanks guys!!
Very enlightening conversation. Thank you.
I have enjoyed this SO much. I would love to see a therapist in church small groups as well. Thank God
Great video guy's it was so much fun can't wait for next week 💖💖💖💖
This is the first time I had seen Dinner Conversation..what a message. It has answered so many questions for me. Thank you for addressing the issue of suicide. Or the thoughts of suicide. And of course Wes' music is always great. I subscribe to the Gaithers music. And Mark I subscribe to your music. May God bless you all.
Looking forward to seeing everyone this Monday night 4/20 at 8p CT for our time with Wes and Mark Means! We'll have a special guest joining us to chat live!
Mark-O, Andrew, Wes and Dr. Mark: this show is especially anointed today...am watching March 28, 2022! Wes, I could have heard that song a few weeks ago, but Jesus sent me a priest I barely knew who was both kind and compassionate but also blunt... I told him about Mark saying at a concert in a small church to a person who attempted suicide HOW DARE YOU! Fr. Jeremy said that memory came from God. Thank you all. God bless you all! 😇
This is My Song, this is where I’m at can’t & get out of it but this Song is everything, Thanks Wes I feel Your Sing this Song from Your Heart 😌🙏🏻😪
Wow this is so powerful ...Mark...thank you buddy
Great show today. It's time we opened the closet door and let light come in on the subject of suicide. Thanks so much for sharing
Beautiful!!! Thank you!
lost a friend to this i still love and miss him
Such a beautiful voice!
Such a beautiful voice … thanks Wes,,
This channel deserve more subscibers.. i cant wait for the next video.
Band Gband same just found this & plan to share & ‘binge watch’
Andrew, I just like your laughter. It's contagious. I love Mark, when he said to Andrew " I'm not talking to you". These two just rock!!! I am planning to buy their products at least help a little.
Interesting this came up for me to listen to tonight.... My neighbor and I just had dinner a couple hours ago and topic of suicide came up - she told me she actively tried and failed twice.
Mark-o, hey for Baltimore MD! At a small church North of Philly you among other things said to a person who apparently attempted to commit suicide HOW DARE YOU! That stopped me dead in my tracks. Thank you. My priest talked with me and I told him about you. The Bible says that it is appointed unto man first to die and then the judgment. We as Catholics believe this. A person can change their mind and turn to Jesus. I told Father that I had a lot of explaining to do to the Lord...he said If you see Him. Shook me up. He anointed me, laid hands on me and prayed for me. When I thanked him the next day he didn't say You're welcome...he said Praise Jesus! Please pray for unsaved Catholics to be saved...many have no idea that they must accept Jesus as personal Lord and Savior.
Beautiful...
I love the song I"ll pray for you. The first time I heard it I was struggling
This just came up on my feed. I struggle everyday w ideation! God is funny I'm about to walk away from faith and here he popped you up with this!
Wow what a God given talent
Very interesting topic.
Everyone needs a good friend.
Great wisdom!
Beatiful thank you ,., gaither u tube and you got me thru pandemic
20:30 AMEN they are different for everyone is soo true
I hated myself so bad that the thought permeated my mind that suicide could be a great alternative to ending that loathing I had for self. BUT GOD! And He is able to change things around. We can easily build a wall or hedge around us to keep GOD out. Thank you Jesus that the Creator exists and He is faithful to do what we cannot do. I cannot take the time to condemn anyone who has ended their lives in such a way. There are terrible pressures out there. Think about the precious souls who have suffered at the hands of evil people, especially the little ones abused sexually, traffiking and so on. People caught in the trap of suicidal thoughts often miss out on the fact that they are not alone in suffering, and they find it extremely difficult to look beyond their own sphere of tribulation of soul. Wes Hampton by the way is really an artist at music. Look To JESUS folks, run to Him get the faith of Christ in your mind. Keep asking for the MIND of Christ, not just once, but many times.
Daniel, please pray for me. I have dealt with self loathing, most of my life. I'm going through very hard place.
Interestingly, my friend and I had a similar conversation on friendship and she said that she does not believe any of her friends should grow old alone. 🇰🇪
I did have severe, suicidal depression but it was caused by something physical. The doctors didn't know much because they didn't have a "whole body" focus. Eventually I traced it to five foods I was eating and avoided them. Sucralose was a sixth trigger that would piggy back on my thoughts unlike the other five foods, but sucralose depression was mild. One day I had a sinus infection that caused debilitating fatigue. The doc suspected COPD but I noticed, just barely, that my sunuses were tender. He believed me and gave me three courses of antibiotics. Within a day the breathlessness was gone. The sinuses took a couple of weeks to get well. Somehow I just knew I could eat whatever I wanted. Sure enough, the antibiotics cured my depression for good.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have made videos saying some of these same things, but I don't have quite the audience you do. 😉
You mentioned not hiding our scars...a young Marine named Kyle Carpenter was awarded the Medal of Honor several years ago for throwing himself on a grenade in Afghanistan. Miraculously, he survived and he has a book called You Are Worth It.
One of the chapters is Don't Hide Your Scars. I highly recommend this book.
I love you guys and I appreciate so much that you deal with real issues. (And you gave me permission to say "piss"!)😂😂😂😂
Lots to think about here. Hope is so important for us. Giving hope, respect and understanding.
Watching this for the 2nd time. This program is so needed in today’s world. Wes, I’ll Pray for You is one powerful soulful and meaningful song. I will be sharing this for certain. Blessings to all.🙏🏼
There are medications that can cause suicidal ideation. Know of individual with Lime disease who went for help who acted on his thoughts and died. We feel his meds contributed. There are also medical diseases that have unfortunate impact on one’s thinking which is disease driven thoughts.
This is something that my family and I are prone to- suicidal ideation as a side effect of medication. Don't let that scare you off from getting help though. The most important thing is to talk to someone. If you're starting to feel off, not like yourself, if your thoughts have turned after starting a medication, speak up. There are ways to correct that.
I am speaking from experience, as it happened to me. My new meds threw me all sorts of out of whack; as someone who's NEVER contemplated, everything changed when I started my meds. Thought they were gonna make me better, they made me worse. So I said something, I told my doctor that something wasn't right. That my thoughts weren't right. He added one more medication (in my case it was a mood stabilizer), and while I wasn't thrilled about having to take one more pill every day, the difference was phenomenal. All of a sudden, my meds started working like they were supposed to. My thoughts- which felt so foreign to me before- became MY thoughts again.
I guess I said all of that to say this: suicidal ideation can be a side effect of some medications, but please don't let that stop you from getting help. If you fall victim to that side effect, there IS a way to fix it; don't lose hope.
A classmate went through a tough time in a complicated relationship and was contemplating suicide. I was afraid to confide in faculty for I feared it would be a trigger and I didn't know her family. I told her to call me any time of day or night and I was drained. By the end of it, I slowly pulled away because I feel like if she goes through another tough time and decides to do it, I will carry it with me for the rest of my life thinking "what could I have done?". It is psychologically burdensome when a friend places this kind of responsibility on you. The fear is tangible. I woke up everyday thinking, did she do it? If she did will I be blamed because I didn't tell anyone? What if I tell and she gets angry and actually does it? In the end, she went back to her complicated relationship. I was drained and I actually felt used.
time to heal.. Listening, Its draining. But you need to have trauma dealt with.. There are some good resources. Like this TH-cam video by Jim Banks which one can play so that you can get back to a level of peace..
@@gracer5923 It is past, and I made the decision not to be friends with this person. I have my own problems (mom had a stroke plus medical bills, lost my job-company closed business, running out of rent & bills money and have no money to pay tuition or source of income, potential homelessness if I can't pay rent or bills) leave alone university assignments to carry such a burden. My comment was to shed light on "do you have a friend you can talk to"...what it did to me as that friend. See, I then made a choice for me, if I am holding on to dear life with all that, then I can't be friends with a person that can't hold it together because of matters of the heart. That is childs play compared to what I am dealing with...with a smile on my face and my shoulders back, not complaining, just trusting God word.."I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed beg bread" and "He will supply all my needs according to His riches in Glory through Christ Jesus". Not sulking and having a pity party and dragging your friends into it.
GM M I am praying for your provision. He has seen me through very tough times. Jesus is faithful.he will keep you.
Wow ... what can one say ... absolutely wow!! ...Can you believe it?
I love u wes hamton
I've just started listening, but because I was suicidal myself decades ago, I always want to share a little of my story, especially when GOD Himself intervened almost verbally with these truths at the depth of my depression:
(1) If you kill yourself, whatever witness for Christ you may have had will be eradicated with your suicide.
(2) When your daughter grows up, how is she going to feel when she learns that you didn't love her enough to endure tough times so you could be here for her during her hard times (because we ALL have them!)?
(3) THE BIG ANSWER: "Linda, these thoughts are not coming from Me, so from whom do you think they are coming???" (Believe it or not, one of the most common patterns I hear of suicidals was mine as well: "The family/world would be better off with you gone" like we'd all be doing humanity a favor by killing ourselves!) The realization that it was Satan, the destroyer and enemy of our souls, who was badgering me to suicide was an eye-opening revelation straight from God's heart to mine, and it literally changed the course of my thinking forever.
Since then, whenever I even "flirt" with the thought of suicide, I say ALOUD, "Oh, no you don't, Lucifer! You are not winning this battle! I am a daughter of The King and you will not destroy me!" and I don't allow those thoughts to take root anymore.
My daughter DID grow up to have major issues with depression, but thank God (literally), we live in an era where medical science has found medication to help with correcting chemical imbalances that can cause these issues. Since then, we've learned people on all sides of our family tree are finding help this way, so it definitely can be genetic. Get help from a Christian doctor who can help medically as well as spiritually. It is not always just a spiritual issue any more than diabetes or cancer or other ailment are. Persevere until you have found relief!
I am thankful that the people God provided to me to help me heal did not say things like you did above. Those would have added to my shame ridden soul rather than drawing me closer to God. I pray that if you ever find yourself in the company of someone contemplating suicide, those won't be the words coming from your lips. If they were helpful to you, that's great. I just don't see them being helpful to most people living with depression and thoughts of suicide. Listen, like Mr. Means shared. Blessings and prayers.
Thank you for talking about this.
Mark - thank you for saying that suicide is not a reason to keep the arms of Jesus away from anyone.
We've dealt with too much suicidal tragedy in my town.
It is the reason our youth outreach group started in 2016.
I've asked those questions of teenagers. Have you thought about it? Do you have a plan? Do you have a means to do it? They must be asked! 1 question, 1 minute, 1 life saved.
Forming community with others really can be difficult. It is a skill that is taught and modeled in childhood. It is much more difficult to learn as an adult and some never achieve it.
Not everyone gives warning signs. I know of someone who just suddenly committed suicide leaving a family devastated. No talking about suicide before hand. Often depends on the reasons behind the act. So after the fact, it is tough going.
What stayed with me is that Mark said that they did not commit the ultimate sin...they are still going to heaven. My husband committed suicide and that is the one thing that I held on to in my faith. Great episode.
It helped me
You know this is soo moving and true.. Some of us have been there.. Yet our Heavenly
Father loves us all so much more.
The sounds of explosion are very real.
Back in 1989 the day care center I worked in at the time blew up. It is in the Richland Observer archives.
Any ways it took a long time for that type of a flash back from that to leave.
Up until about 6 yrs. ago. I would jump and scream if
there was sudden loud sound behind me that I didn't know was coming.
What really helped was I had a good helpful supportive
family who was alive at the time. Yes the Lord was always there, and His mercy stayed there with me...
Now I pay attention, but
there is no longer fear...
Lord God give me the Grace to go on, leaving the past behind me, on my own it is a struggle
OH I know about that burden thing sooo true
Therapeutic approaches are not something that can be tied down generally by definition and put into a box.
I think he's trying to tell y'alls that.☺
It has been my experience that the one or two friends only wanted me as a friend for whatever I could do for them. I even ask one of them, what does begin a friend mean to them. This person could not answer my question! She only wanted me around when there was something she needed. So she only wanted me around when she needed me to do something for her. The other friend was pretty much the same way. So I don't have any friends nor do I want any friends. If a person just wants friendship from someone for there on selfish reasons. Then a person is better off begin along.
AMEN DIOS LOS BENDIGA
Therapists being mandatory reporters will drive people away from telling them they are thinking about suicide. Some people will hide those feelings just so no one will know. I know what it's like to not have friends because I don't have any. I will not allow myself to get close to anyone because they either die, I move, they move or they are two-faced and backstab me. I don't trust anyone and never will. I journal or I keep all my feelings inside.
Sadly, these people are battling about hope. And that hope can only be found in JESUS! Truthfully, only JESUS CHRIST can heal the battle of the mind and heart. He can set the captive free. And give his peace within. He is the only answer to anyones problem! I want to share with you that JESUS is SAVIOUR, KING, and the DEAREST FRIEND anyone can have. Do you have a personal relationship with JESUS? Are you born again? If not, have faith and believe that JESUS is the SON OF GOD and that he died and shed his blood on the cross so that we can be forgiven of our sins and that HE was buried and arose from the grave on the third day so that we can have Eternal Life. For today is the day for SALVATION. Have faith and repent. If you do not know him, I hope you come to CHRIST JESUS! May you have a good day!
Thanks, you guys, for addressing this important subject! Us churchgoers need to hear this!
I attempted it in March of 21 after my wife passed
Often church people are clicky, which feels beyond hurtful. Growing up in a military family I have no life-long friends (we moved every year), have no roots, do not make friends easy, and being a non-married woman, am not reached out to. --- It must be nice to have the money for your very own self-help platform.
Sometimes, medication doesn't work . ( It does not work for me. ) also i am allergic to all antidepressant drugs
Tough subject. I don't believe that most people who are suicidal will ever tell anyone. Too much shame. Self condemnation. They feel very alone, whether they are or not. I agree there should be licensed counselors on staff. People are hurting so much.
Great conversation, thanks!
I have had PTSD ever since I had a severe asthma attack and passed out in the ambulance. i go into orbit when I hear sudden had witnessed to youth. He was injured in a car crash and suffered brain damage. He wanted to go to bible School but could not do the work because of the damage.
How do you replace your true friends when they have all passed on long ago. It is very hard to just pick a friend and expect them to be in the same place spiritually or emotionally as you. are.
It is also difficult when you have friends that won't seek help but suck the life out of everyone around than.
Wow... wow ... Interesting take on the matter.