This is very informative! I have a 4yr. old Strong minded little girl so this definitly gave me Alot of insight on many behaviors that my daughter is struggling with! And that I struggle with being a single parent as well! Thankyou!
I exercise every single day and it seems to do very little for how quickly our little girl can get everyone in the whole house emotional first thing in the morning. I hate starting my day off on a bad note but it's like she wakes up ready to start a fight with someone as soon as she opens her eyes.
We used to get spanked and everyone knew their place .Kids didn't talk back and respected parents. But now parents have their control taken from them . Spanking has its place . It's different to a beating .
I strongly, strongly desagree. I got spanked by my parents, not a whole lot, just the usual thing back in the 80s. Never had any bruises or anything. But I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, it never taught me any respect for them, much, much on the contrary. It just taught me how weak, coward people behave. Those who use their physical superiority to humiliate others actually deserve no respect.
@@Dhani_Nerrh your parents were abusive please stop comparing your experiences to everyone else's I was spanked I was even paddled in school and know how to speak to adults people are nasty rude and undisciplined now a days and you see it in adults who were raised by the guidance of psychologist you have people who walk into a room and will not greet the folks who they see you have too many passive-aggressive folks and workplaces in this is due to a lack of discipline and child-rearing I thank God for my parents who had old souls and raised me in a old school fashion many employers appreciate this because of political correctness they cannot vocalize it but I have been pulled aside many times and there is a difference whether you want to admit it or not you need to work out your issues and whatever your parents did to you
Yes there is a difference it's just that most people don't seem to know how to apply common sense or think rationally nowadays so they think any form of spanking is abuse
@@susiebear3316 I just got slapped once in a while, no big deal. Still... I think it is absolutely not the best approach. If anything it only drew me away from my parents.
I have a strong willed 9 year old. She try’s to run the show at home but is a model child at school. She never makes waves. She’s a straight A student. I think I’ve spoiled her too much and now I’m paying for it. I recently had to take the things she likes most away in order to get her to understand that I’m the boss. I’m at my wits end. She is totally so disrespectful to me.
How did that work? I could have written that ☝️ and I'm at my wits end. I'm a lone parent, no support, dad sees him every other weekend, but not more than that. My son is an angel for everyone else but fights me at home.
I am in the exact situation with my 9 years. Spankings, taking away her things, and time out doesn’t phase her. I don’t know what else to do. It’s getting to the point where we just scream at each other and it’s taking a toll on our relationship. :(
I don’t think it so much about letting her know who is the boss as it is to find good strategies that sends the message that you are serious about what you say and your expectation of her
My daughter is 3....soon to be 4 in September. She is generally a sweet and well-behaved child, but recently she has definitely a defiant sort of attitude. I have always practiced "gentle/positive" parenting, but I'm not sure if those methods are very effective now. It's frustrating....but I am here for advice.
D B I hear you. If you are pedagogical they ignore you. If you are consequential and angry they ignore you out of spite. Often with outright dangerous consequences. It's more than frustrating. I am still looking for someone who can tell me how to manage it effectively.
IT USED TO BE IN MY DAY,THAT PUTTING CHILDREN IN THE CORNER WAS THE BEST DICIPLINE IN OUR HOME.THAN SOMEBODY SAID THAT WAS WRONG,AND NOW IF YOU SPANK SOME CHILDREN TOO HARD THAN YOU GO TO COURT.OR JAIL.WEVE CHANGED THAT MUCH.WHAT CAN WE DO TO CHANGE THAT?
Some parents are afraid of their kids. And kids just like sharks they can smell the blood and attack. You must be consistent as a parent, a disciplinarian and punish them for misbehavior that’s obviously rebellious. You have the right as a parent to chastise your child, not the government or nosey adults telling you what not to do. You know your child.
I put my mother through hell as a child and teenager. I was an extremely strong-willed and defiant child, no idea why. I'm still very strong-willed as a 21-year-old, but it has benefitted me immensely in achieving my goals and standing up for what I believe in. Although my mother had to raise me through all that difficulty, she is proud of the fact that I am my own person who doesn't follow the crowd. It does have some benefits lol
I wouldn't pat yourself on the back too hard- you've probably taken years off of your mother's life and are most likely responsible for any anxiety problems she has.
@@tamlynn786 Sorry, looking back I can see why it read the way it did. I did a lot of normal teenager stuff and had undiagnosed PMDD and ADHD which went unmedicated and untreated for years. So basically before my period, I would get extremely depressed and angry. Now that I'm properly medicated for it, I am all good. I also finally got my ADHD diagnosis which explained a lot of the defiance. What I meant to say was that, despite my being strongwilled causing my mother a bit of grief, she has always respected my outspokenness and ability to stand up for myself. My behaviour wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was just general teenage angst and rebellion. My mum and I have always been tight and had each other's backs. We were both abused by my dad (her ex-husband) and that lead to a lot of mental issues for both of us. I was very protective of her and she was very protective of me. I know for a fact that I was hard work to parent, I feel guilty about it all the time, but I also recognise the external factors that led to that happening. We have healed and I'm at a great place now in my life and so is my mum. I don't know if this clears it up but it's really hard to explain in a little paragraph on youtube.
@@BlckCloud73 Sorry, looking back I can see why it read the way it did. I did a lot of normal teenager stuff and had undiagnosed PMDD and ADHD which went unmedicated and untreated for years. So basically before my period, I would get extremely depressed and angry. Now that I'm properly medicated for it, I am all good. I also finally got my ADHD diagnosis which explained a lot of the defiance. What I meant to say was that, despite my being strongwilled causing my mother a bit of grief, she has always respected my outspokenness and ability to stand up for myself. My behaviour wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was just general teenage angst and rebellion. My mum and I have always been tight and had each other's backs. We were both abused by my dad (her ex-husband) and that lead to a lot of mental issues for both of us. I was very protective of her and she was very protective of me. I know for a fact that I was hard work to parent, I feel guilty about it all the time, but I also recognise the external factors that led to that happening. We have healed and I'm at a great place now in my life and so is my mum. I don't know if this clears it up but it's really hard to explain in a little paragraph on youtube.
I've given up on helping my daughter. She feels her child is not disrespectful. He controls her, he has the last word, and he has anger issues. Once he put his hand on me, I was done.
Coming here learning how to deal with my son who nine whohas adhd who has destructive mood disorder now odd I’m so overwhelmed the fighting at school angry outburst hitting kicking walls he’s very angry lil boy he even put he’s hands on me all I’m trying to do is learn how to deal with these behaviors
I know I’m late, but you are not alone. I’m the mom of a 6 year old boy who is currently on the verge of getting suspended from school..in first grade! I’m awake with worry most nights. He doesn’t do these behaviors to be bad, it’s almost like he can’t control them. But he’s also very far behind his peers academically, no matter how much we work with him, he just can’t process the information being taught. He throws tantrums and destroys everything he owns..today he tore up his lunchbox during lunch and apparently started eating the styrofoam insulation. All his toys are broken because he smashes them, not because he’s mad though, he just does it. My husband and I have tried everything we could find to stop these behaviors but nothing has worked. I’m so sad because he’s such a brilliant little boy and he’s my heart. We go back to the doctor next week for his diagnosis. 😢❤️
Sometimes I really think these people have NO strong willed child... missmatched socks.... lol... at least yours will wear socks! And oh , we cant tell them what to do, let them choose between doing such and such or face consequences like time out.... you do realize thats still telling them what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A strong willed child, no way in hell they will do what you politely ask OR time out...lol... these people....
Nonsense. Children need food - food is provided by the parents. Withholding food for supper will quickly remind a "strong-willed" brat where his place is - begging to survive.
Hes saying a lot of "whys" but dont explain HOW you change the behaviour. I understand what he's saying that kids act out because of how you parent, but unless he explains how to change the parenting skills, then no one is going to change. This is what I never understand. They make you sit through a 45 minute video, but you're none the wiser at the end of it!
Society just wants to blame the parents . kids nowadays are not disciplined and they're out of control I think they can get away with anything if their parent even tell them to put their cell phone down I'll call the cops and say you hit me it's the way kids are nowadays
I totally agree. Our schools and gone way past math and science and history and they turned into little psychologist. Actually teaching our children how to call 911 and all these other things that I know are well-meaning but the kids take them to an extreme. You can't even go to counseling without having to be very careful what you share because they're mandated reporters. You're crying out for help and they're turning you in.
My 12 yr old son threatens me all the times hes going to call the police I tell him go ahead I need a vacation. Ive called the cops many times. They do nothing but talk. Kids are not afraid of the police
Shirree Williams We are NOT talking about parents who do not disabling their children! They ABSOLUTELY do NOT give in as in the normal child who is spanked! You are talking about pouring gasoline on a fire---thinking you are putting the fire out!! It NEVER EVER works. If you have not seen it , you would not believe it!!
parent who count to 3 to get their kids to do what they want thats funny I mean are you trying to learn your numbers or something? lol Come on I raised kids and they knew i was in control if they needed a paddle i gave it to them but i told them why i was going to and when i did i told them i loved them. They always run to me because they knew Daddy loved them. Everyone who met them couldnt believe what good kids they were and very respectful toward me and their mother and to anyone else. Because i taught them with Love they knew when i said something i meant it. If i said you are going to get a paddleing they knew it was coming. I didnt say wait to your mom gets home. Thats a joke for parents to tell them wait to your dad gets home. When you do that they lost their respect for you. Make a believer out of them. I spent time with them a lot. I was never to busy for my kids. When you are to busy to take time for them you are way to busy. I did whatever it took to show them love even when they got a paddleing. If i told them i was going to take them some where i didnt come up with an excuse to not take them. I kept my word to them. If you cant keep your word to them you lost them. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Men let the kids see you show love toward your wife and wife let your kids see you show love toward your Husband even when you are upset. Dont act up in front of the kids. they will think well mom and dad does it why cant i. If the kids think the parents dont see anything wrong with being mean to one another then parent dont expect the kids to act any different then you do. Dont have the attitude that says Dont do as i do just do as i say. That dont work. Trust me when kids see you acting mean toward other people they will grow up doing the same. I was told i had the best kids in the whole church. I said they are the best because i correct them when they need it. To them kids theres no one like daddy. I can be around mean kids if i can get them away from their parents they will obey me why because they sense when someone has control. And them kind of Kids love for someone to show them a lot of attention. They stare for someone to love them and spend time with them. O i see how kids get attention today take them to the park and turn them loose that dont work. They need mom and dad to take time to play to you talk about them changing let them see you act like a big kid at the park with them. they love it. You change and your kids will. Thats what works. Dont let them run with kids who are mean because they to will be the same way.
Lovely Video clip! Apologies for chiming in, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Trentvorty Kids Science Theorem (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is an awesome exclusive product for becoming an excellent parent minus the hard work. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my m8 finally got great success with it.
This is very informative! I have a 4yr. old Strong minded little girl so this definitly gave me Alot of insight on many behaviors that my daughter is struggling with! And that I struggle with being a single parent as well! Thankyou!
I'm a single mom as well....3.5 years old. Trying to navigate this age range as we get close to age 4...
I exercise every single day and it seems to do very little for how quickly our little girl can get everyone in the whole house emotional first thing in the morning. I hate starting my day off on a bad note but it's like she wakes up ready to start a fight with someone as soon as she opens her eyes.
We used to get spanked and everyone knew their place .Kids didn't talk back and respected parents. But now parents have their control taken from them . Spanking has its place . It's different to a beating .
HAH. Nonsense.
I strongly, strongly desagree. I got spanked by my parents, not a whole lot, just the usual thing back in the 80s. Never had any bruises or anything. But I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, it never taught me any respect for them, much, much on the contrary. It just taught me how weak, coward people behave. Those who use their physical superiority to humiliate others actually deserve no respect.
@@Dhani_Nerrh your parents were abusive please stop comparing your experiences to everyone else's I was spanked I was even paddled in school and know how to speak to adults
people are nasty rude and undisciplined now a days and you see it in adults who were raised by the guidance of psychologist you have people who walk into a room and will not greet the folks who they see you have too many passive-aggressive folks and workplaces in this is due to a lack of discipline and child-rearing
I thank God for my parents who had old souls and raised me in a old school fashion many employers appreciate this because of political correctness they cannot vocalize it but I have been pulled aside many times and there is a difference whether you want to admit it or not you need to work out your issues and whatever your parents did to you
Yes there is a difference it's just that most people don't seem to know how to apply common sense or think rationally nowadays so they think any form of spanking is abuse
@@susiebear3316 I just got slapped once in a while, no big deal. Still... I think it is absolutely not the best approach. If anything it only drew me away from my parents.
The echo is pretty bad 😬 but helpful info! Thanks!
Wonderful advice throughout this interview! I subscribed.
I have a strong willed 9 year old. She try’s to run the show at home but is a model child at school. She never makes waves. She’s a straight A student. I think I’ve spoiled her too much and now I’m paying for it. I recently had to take the things she likes most away in order to get her to understand that I’m the boss. I’m at my wits end. She is totally so disrespectful to me.
How did that work? I could have written that ☝️ and I'm at my wits end. I'm a lone parent, no support, dad sees him every other weekend, but not more than that. My son is an angel for everyone else but fights me at home.
I am in the exact situation with my 9 years. Spankings, taking away her things, and time out doesn’t phase her. I don’t know what else to do. It’s getting to the point where we just scream at each other and it’s taking a toll on our relationship. :(
Lynn Ohrel 😔
I forgot to mention. I’m her great grandmother 👵 have raised her since birth
I don’t think it so much about letting her know who is the boss as it is to find good strategies that sends the message that you are serious about what you say and your expectation of her
My daughter is 3....soon to be 4 in September. She is generally a sweet and well-behaved child, but recently she has definitely a defiant sort of attitude. I have always practiced "gentle/positive" parenting, but I'm not sure if those methods are very effective now. It's frustrating....but I am here for advice.
D B I hear you. If you are pedagogical they ignore you. If you are consequential and angry they ignore you out of spite. Often with outright dangerous consequences. It's more than frustrating. I am still looking for someone who can tell me how to manage it effectively.
We have to have a balance when using gentle/positive parenting. Know what to do and when to do it
IT USED TO BE IN MY DAY,THAT PUTTING CHILDREN IN THE CORNER WAS THE BEST DICIPLINE IN OUR HOME.THAN SOMEBODY SAID THAT WAS WRONG,AND NOW IF YOU SPANK SOME CHILDREN TOO HARD THAN YOU GO TO COURT.OR JAIL.WEVE CHANGED THAT MUCH.WHAT CAN WE DO TO CHANGE THAT?
DOUGLAS WOOSLEY doesn’t work for me anymore my son gets pretty violent he’s only nine
Elizabeth C - children need motivation as much as they need direction. Have you heard of creatingchampionsforlife.com
Some parents are afraid of their kids. And kids just like sharks they can smell the blood and attack. You must be consistent as a parent, a disciplinarian and punish them for misbehavior that’s obviously rebellious. You have the right as a parent to chastise your child, not the government or nosey adults telling you what not to do. You know your child.
@@pandoranewbeginnings4020 how do you handle it? My son is 12 and very aggressive defiant and violent. I dont know what to do anymore
Gina M be honest I’ve lost it in process he’s in behavioral school therapy we working thru it he’s gotten better then last year
So grateful for this video
wow, great information on the sleep!!!! thank you.
Strong will children can also come from healthy families
I put my mother through hell as a child and teenager. I was an extremely strong-willed and defiant child, no idea why. I'm still very strong-willed as a 21-year-old, but it has benefitted me immensely in achieving my goals and standing up for what I believe in. Although my mother had to raise me through all that difficulty, she is proud of the fact that I am my own person who doesn't follow the crowd. It does have some benefits lol
I wouldn't pat yourself on the back too hard- you've probably taken years off of your mother's life and are most likely responsible for any anxiety problems she has.
Wait until you have strong willed children on your own. Payback
You’re proud that you treated your mother like crap?! Im sure she was so glad when you moved out!
@@tamlynn786 Sorry, looking back I can see why it read the way it did. I did a lot of normal teenager stuff and had undiagnosed PMDD and ADHD which went unmedicated and untreated for years. So basically before my period, I would get extremely depressed and angry. Now that I'm properly medicated for it, I am all good. I also finally got my ADHD diagnosis which explained a lot of the defiance. What I meant to say was that, despite my being strongwilled causing my mother a bit of grief, she has always respected my outspokenness and ability to stand up for myself. My behaviour wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was just general teenage angst and rebellion. My mum and I have always been tight and had each other's backs. We were both abused by my dad (her ex-husband) and that lead to a lot of mental issues for both of us. I was very protective of her and she was very protective of me. I know for a fact that I was hard work to parent, I feel guilty about it all the time, but I also recognise the external factors that led to that happening. We have healed and I'm at a great place now in my life and so is my mum. I don't know if this clears it up but it's really hard to explain in a little paragraph on youtube.
@@BlckCloud73 Sorry, looking back I can see why it read the way it did. I did a lot of normal teenager stuff and had undiagnosed PMDD and ADHD which went unmedicated and untreated for years. So basically before my period, I would get extremely depressed and angry. Now that I'm properly medicated for it, I am all good. I also finally got my ADHD diagnosis which explained a lot of the defiance. What I meant to say was that, despite my being strongwilled causing my mother a bit of grief, she has always respected my outspokenness and ability to stand up for myself. My behaviour wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was just general teenage angst and rebellion. My mum and I have always been tight and had each other's backs. We were both abused by my dad (her ex-husband) and that lead to a lot of mental issues for both of us. I was very protective of her and she was very protective of me. I know for a fact that I was hard work to parent, I feel guilty about it all the time, but I also recognise the external factors that led to that happening. We have healed and I'm at a great place now in my life and so is my mum. I don't know if this clears it up but it's really hard to explain in a little paragraph on youtube.
Sleep topic around @18:30 is interesting
I've given up on helping my daughter. She feels her child is not disrespectful. He controls her, he has the last word, and he has anger issues. Once he put his hand on me, I was done.
That must be a difficult for you
Coming here learning how to deal with my son who nine whohas adhd who has destructive mood disorder now odd I’m so overwhelmed the fighting at school angry outburst hitting kicking walls he’s very angry lil boy he even put he’s hands on me all I’m trying to do is learn how to deal with these behaviors
I know I’m late, but you are not alone. I’m the mom of a 6 year old boy who is currently on the verge of getting suspended from school..in first grade! I’m awake with worry most nights. He doesn’t do these behaviors to be bad, it’s almost like he can’t control them. But he’s also very far behind his peers academically, no matter how much we work with him, he just can’t process the information being taught. He throws tantrums and destroys everything he owns..today he tore up his lunchbox during lunch and apparently started eating the styrofoam insulation. All his toys are broken because he smashes them, not because he’s mad though, he just does it. My husband and I have tried everything we could find to stop these behaviors but nothing has worked. I’m so sad because he’s such a brilliant little boy and he’s my heart. We go back to the doctor next week for his diagnosis. 😢❤️
Sometimes I really think these people have NO strong willed child... missmatched socks.... lol... at least yours will wear socks! And oh , we cant tell them what to do, let them choose between doing such and such or face consequences like time out.... you do realize thats still telling them what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A strong willed child, no way in hell they will do what you politely ask OR time out...lol... these people....
I know right?!? Socks....? Really?!? How about "stop stealing from Walmart" or "stop skipping class"?!?
@@BlckCloud73 This is for children under 12...
Nonsense. Children need food - food is provided by the parents. Withholding food for supper will quickly remind a "strong-willed" brat where his place is - begging to survive.
If I chose a compatible wife I'll potentially have a strong defiant child.
I just took my 4 yr for Adhd but i have more questions he was Dx with ADHD but all they said he need medication
Can it be Odd and not ADHD
Typically one comes with the other. Very rare to have ODD and not ADHD. From my experience and listening to blogs and going through counceling.
listen to someone called dr Shefali and see if it helps you
Hes saying a lot of "whys" but dont explain HOW you change the behaviour. I understand what he's saying that kids act out because of how you parent, but unless he explains how to change the parenting skills, then no one is going to change. This is what I never understand. They make you sit through a 45 minute video, but you're none the wiser at the end of it!
He wants to sell his book. Thats why. Smh..
@@CoD_Maj3st1k THANK YOU for the heads up!
I totally agree. A summary would be helpful
I agree parents need to know what to do and that’s a whole different video
Society just wants to blame the parents . kids nowadays are not disciplined and they're out of control I think they can get away with anything if their parent even tell them to put their cell phone down I'll call the cops and say you hit me it's the way kids are nowadays
Nodak81 Well then society should have no place in how parents discipline their children.
It's because society doesn't let you parent your kids.
I totally agree. Our schools and gone way past math and science and history and they turned into little psychologist. Actually teaching our children how to call 911 and all these other things that I know are well-meaning but the kids take them to an extreme. You can't even go to counseling without having to be very careful what you share because they're mandated reporters. You're crying out for help and they're turning you in.
My 12 yr old son threatens me all the times hes going to call the police I tell him go ahead I need a vacation. Ive called the cops many times. They do nothing but talk. Kids are not afraid of the police
Hi like it
I agree there is not enough limits
six minutes and 30 seconds go by and you say Absolutely Nothing
Agree. I listened to the end and still don’t know what to do
forget this im getting the belt im done
Shirree Williams We are NOT talking about parents who do not disabling their children! They ABSOLUTELY do NOT give in as in the normal child who is spanked! You are talking about pouring gasoline on a fire---thinking you are putting the fire out!! It NEVER EVER works. If you have not seen it , you would not believe it!!
I wouldnt recommend that, believe me, my causin got whooped pretty bad and so she took money and ran away
oksills I've noticed that a lot of people say what you just said, and I agree with you, but without fail they never say what to do instead.
Thank god youre not my parent...I pity your kid
Prisons are full of people who got the belt
parent who count to 3 to get their kids to do what they want thats funny I mean are you trying to learn your numbers or something? lol Come on I raised kids and they knew i was in control if they needed a paddle i gave it to them but i told them why i was going to and when i did i told them i loved them. They always run to me because they knew Daddy loved them. Everyone who met them couldnt believe what good kids they were and very respectful toward me and their mother and to anyone else. Because i taught them with Love they knew when i said something i meant it. If i said you are going to get a paddleing they knew it was coming. I didnt say wait to your mom gets home. Thats a joke for parents to tell them wait to your dad gets home. When you do that they lost their respect for you. Make a believer out of them. I spent time with them a lot. I was never to busy for my kids. When you are to busy to take time for them you are way to busy. I did whatever it took to show them love even when they got a paddleing. If i told them i was going to take them some where i didnt come up with an excuse to not take them. I kept my word to them. If you cant keep your word to them you lost them. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Men let the kids see you show love toward your wife and wife let your kids see you show love toward your Husband even when you are upset. Dont act up in front of the kids. they will think well mom and dad does it why cant i. If the kids think the parents dont see anything wrong with being mean to one another then parent dont expect the kids to act any different then you do. Dont have the attitude that says Dont do as i do just do as i say. That dont work. Trust me when kids see you acting mean toward other people they will grow up doing the same. I was told i had the best kids in the whole church. I said they are the best because i correct them when they need it. To them kids theres no one like daddy. I can be around mean kids if i can get them away from their parents they will obey me why because they sense when someone has control. And them kind of Kids love for someone to show them a lot of attention. They stare for someone to love them and spend time with them. O i see how kids get attention today take them to the park and turn them loose that dont work. They need mom and dad to take time to play to you talk about them changing let them see you act like a big kid at the park with them. they love it. You change and your kids will. Thats what works. Dont let them run with kids who are mean because they to will be the same way.
Best comment on the entire TH-cam! 👏🏾👏🏾👍🏿
Thank you so much for your lengthy comment!! I truly appreciate your taking the time to respond. In this day and age, you should be a therapist.😊
Meh. Mostly common sense stuff here.
Lovely Video clip! Apologies for chiming in, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Trentvorty Kids Science Theorem (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is an awesome exclusive product for becoming an excellent parent minus the hard work. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my m8 finally got great success with it.
Strong willed and defiant are not synonymous. Thats a poor definition and lacking creativity. THUMBS DOWN.
spanking has its place
Nodak81 you must be a riot at parties
I learned nothing from this