Matthew is explaining the ideal world full of love and kindness that everyone wants to live in and each of us is craving for. Sadia is explaining the real and cruel world that we live in and we're all experiencing. That's it.
yeah, but it also shows his view of women. There must be a good reason why he doesn't trust women and why he seems to see ALL women as cheaters. I almost feel sorry for him. I wonder what happened
@@muma6559 Watch parts 1 & 2. In short though, he was betrayed, chose to reconcile, as of this pdcast, still together after 10yrs. BUT, You could tell, the pain is still there. 🤷♂️✌️
@@SkyeRae-pg6cv Naaa, the woman he married he's only been with about three years. The previous one, i don't know. He just got married less than a year ago. And they've only been together about three years. So what's the deal ? Who's betrayal ?
Oh wow , just like she says there isnt 1 women in a healthy relationship after cheating, you are saying everyone agrees with her. I dont agree, so you are lying.
I was cheated on by my ex-wife. I tried everything to make it work. She didn't lift a finger and blamed me for her affair. She divorced to be with her affair partner at work. 99/100 times, men should never take a woman back after she cheats. The relationship is over, the cheater is who she was all the time.
Cheating is premeditated. On both ends, cheating is not healthy, it is a betrayal, lack of commitment, lack of respect and lack of loyalty. Forgiveness is great, but boundaries should be set. It's a one off case, that cheating occurs when people are caught off guard.
Cheating can reflect many things. For starters it usually is perpetrated by someone who can't ask for what they want from their partner. This is also precluded by this person because if they cant ask for what they want in life they will seek partners who are more on the promiscuous side because those people appear to be able to provide that which the person is unable to ask for. Unfortunately promiscuous people have different goals because the promiscuity provides for them what they think is unavailable for them if they are not promiscuous. This is one example of a relationship that is predetermined for failure.
I can say to Matthew unequivocally that Sadia is correct. My wife of 12yrs, 1 son, a brand new house, and 2 new mercedes left me for a former boyfriend. Everything she did, said, yelled, and guilted me with was textbook verbatim from Sadia. The cheating isn't spur of the moment, it's calculated and methodically planned. Once they've decided to cheat they have no longer have respect nor empathy for you and will do everything they can to shame and embarrass you in order to validate to themselves that it was in their best interest to cheat and leave you.
I am a research scientist who has applied my tools and methods of physics research to the human connection. As a result, I have created a model that reflects the reality of fundamentals that never change in human relationships. I refer to a model like physicist create. It has mathematics, concepts, and the complex interweaving of basic ideas. This model is written in several modeling languages. I loved seeing wise people engaging in a conversation with friction, yet maintaining respect for each other. Friction is a fundamental of moving our ideas forward. Seldom do ideas change without friction. Friction is not argument or debate. It is mature dialog about deep differences. Thank you to all three of you.
I appreciate how Matthew wants to equate the emotional capacity... but as a woman, which he is not, but yes that's his client base... yet as a woman, I have to agree with Sadia. it's not that I don't believe women aren't capable but that it completely eradicates all respect once I go to a man outside of the relationship, period. There's no coming back. Men do have more of a capability to detach... but I'd also like to add... a woman that forgives will never forget, so even if she let's him come back and they stay together, that insecurity will always live in her until they part/pass... cheating is an unrepairable damaging act... both ways, despite the likelihood of the man to appreciate his forgiveness, he may also loose respect for the woman that stays and does not have AND ACT ON any boundary for this.
💯, it seems like he just wants to harp on the point that women(let's be honest all are capable but whether they choose to is a different scenario) just can't do wrong and they aren't that evil and they're quick to forgive and forget more so than men. If that is the case wouldn't men be leading the filing of divorces? He definitely took Sadia's points as a personal attack on himself being that he probably has been through that situation himself where he got cheated on, forgave the woman and it didn't work out. He just doesn't want to admit it. If Sadia really wanted to prove a point all she had to do was ask him "Have you been cheated on before? If so, did you forgive the woman and work on the relationship? What were the results?" That would have summed up her point right there.
I think you're right... so women, don't deny your men the singular thing they are biologically driven to want, and that they vow to forego - forsaking all others - when they marry. An extended post-vow denial of sex is the first betrayal... and men who accept it compromise their own right to respect.
Behaviour will continue unless the cheater takes the time, more often than not with an objective professional, to help them get to the cause of the cheating. The sex, which is often the point of focus of attention, is purely a symptom. Dealing with the symptoms alone will not fix it. A brilliant and much needed conversation.
Let Sadia finish her train of thought!! Matthew is being disrespectful when she is saying things about women he doesn't want to hear. I guess he has been hurt by a cheating girlfriend and after he had forgiven her he realized she's lost all respect for him. So it made him less of a man and Sadia put her finger on his weak spot 😢
but he can get over it, that's the point. Everyone can learn and grow and be a stronger man/woman. This is pushing him to have standards but he is resisting.... is that what he's scared of ?? Someone who wants to grow would be responding in a different way
She is stating personal experience as facts, thats bullshit. My personal experience is, i crashed my car. Now driving is super dangerous, based on my personal experience.
Your right on point he kept making excuses woman have told him why they did it all he’s heard is one side of the story he’s never worked with men he said it !
He looks weak by constantly interrupting her and basically not letting a normal dialogue happen. Listen to the other person and respond calmly then your point will have more weight. He tries very hard to look a certain way.
@@Cameron-j4d that is Martian vs Venusian. Studies of classrooms with mixed sexes show boys tend to grab all the attention. Girls tend to excel in all girl classes and boys do less well in all boy classes, that's academically.
He is coaching the cheaters, in fact it's a good bet the majority of his paying customers are women who ARE cheating. He has a MASSIVE conflict of interest here
His Idea of saving the relationship is absurd, because there is no relationship to save once one step out of the relationship to cheat. Sadia got great points. She’s speaking the reality, he is speaking the ideal
i can't believe Matthew is a relationship coach. he is so naive. maybe his advice works if your girlfriend/wife is around average looking. you'll get eaten alive if you listen to his advice with beautiful women.
Great discussion, congrats! 👏 I agree with her. Her perspéctive may seem "rash" or hard to diggest at first, but makes total sense. The guy does not see it because he's too sensitive and only focused in an hidilic reality, which in most cases represents a mere minority 🤷♂️
"Cheating is just one other way we mess up in life" Do you say that about murder too? It's NOT just one other way. It's the worst transgression you can do in a relationship. You have to have such a fundamental lack of integrity, empathy, and decency to do that!
I think one of Sadia’s points is Women are attracted to Men that other women like. If a Man is cheated on but many woman like him he could easily choose another that won’t cheat on him, by forgiving and ultimately choosing the cheater in her eyes she’s the best he can get. Woman are predisposed to Hypergamy so thinking she’s the best he can get raises the question can she get better. I think Mathew is correct in what he is saying but it’s the minority like small single digit percentage, also the other person has neglected the relationship too. It’s well summarised by saying Men choose not to cheat whereas woman choose to cheat. Her argument which I believe is correct is if a woman truely loves her Man she won’t risk anything that will lose him. If there’s no perceived risk it changes the dynamics
Sadia you are on point. Matthew is stuck on the illusion of forgiveness being the end all be when a woman cheats. He took the general conversation and Sadia's points way too personal which means it has happened to him before and he regrets it but he doesn't want to admit it. To prove her point all she had to do was ask him,"Have you been cheated on before? If so, did you forgive the woman and work on the relationship? What were the results?" That would have summed up her point right there. If a man cheats, if a woman cheats the relationship is done, all respect is gone. You can forgive a person all you want, the person will not have any respect for you by doing so. Period. A woman will SAY she forgives you but will never forget it and her love for you will NEVER be the same, the way she looks at you won't be the same, the way she touches you won't be the same. It will be a half hearted effort till you part ways. A man will SAY he forgives you but will always have flashbacks of what possibly could have happened or what did happen between his wife and another man. Something no man wants to picture. He will never love you or care about you the same way. If you actually care about your relationship you won't cheat, you either don't cheat at all or just exit it before you cheat. Once you do, there is no coming back from it.
He wants to cover the sun with the thumb. But cheating doesn’t come from love period, forgiveness does, forgive but don’t forget. She spoke the truth firmly and clear.
Men and women view sex and intimacy differently. As a result, cheating is viewed differently. It's equally bad for both genders however, men and women deal and process betrayal differently. We are essentially polar opposites and that is the point that Matthew keeps missing
I tried to make it work but he continued to cheat. It didn’t work for me. The respect was lost and it was never the same. Mathew is talking about the 1%. It’s hard to trust someone again
i agree that unfortunately chaning somones personality is difficult and chatting is a part of someone's personality and who they are unless they try to change which is very hard
Matthew is more worried about defending his narrow mind. He doesn't want to accept that there are more variables than his personal opinions and feelings regarding cheating. I absolutely 100% agree with Sadia. I think she absolutely nailed this. Spot on! Matthew is living in fantasy land, Sadia lives in reality. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. I would bet more relationships will end than be repaired when someone cheats.
Man, Matthew is not stupid but I don’t know, his view is very off, Sadia was more practical, more on men view of things rather than conection only like Matthew was, and it’s surprises me. He ain’t stupid but Sadia was right.
@@faithandfamily not necessarily, some people just haven't worked out what's right and what's wrong, no matter what they are, coaches or psychologist. This is about personal standards, not professional wisdom. There are plenty of psychologists pushing forgiveness inappropriately. I always saw him as nervous talking to Sadia, I saw that, it was very clear. If she's an INFJ... you can't hide anything from them.
I admire Matthews sense of a romantic view. However, and as a man, I agree with Sadia. On a side note, one thing I've learnt about relationships, whether it's professional with a colleague, romantic with a partner or platonic with a great friend, or even a debate; communication is key! Please let the other person have time and breath to explain themselves and be understood, and if you don't understand, your time will come to express yourself, or find your way to understand what they're saying. Don't shut down the other person before they have a chance to explain the thing you even asked them to explain. It's almost like your fixed beliefs doesn't want to hear something that doesn't align with your view of the world.
Agree! I’d be to embarrassed to spew such delusions with so much unwavering devotion and confidence. He is obviously defending the “logic” (lies)he’s created around his own forgiveness within his relationship and cannot accept the idea that none of what he tells himself actually matters in the heart of the woman who lost respect for him.
Well put! It may not sit well but the truth is if a man forgives a women HE must feel diminished / softcock … if he feels that way then no women will respect him.
Here I am. I've cheated and I've been cheated on. We did that game (after forgiveness took place) for 30 years. Basically, I think it became see no evil. Now- this is the father of my child. Still to this day, I live alone. He's doing his thing. The damage done to is both was INSANE. Quite honestly- if I could re-live that relationship, i woulda broke up the first time. Only after I turned 50, did I settle down and now, I'm like okay- I should take him back. To me, this is absolutely more about me not being able to let go. Jez, it's a skill I didn't know how to do. LET GO. We cannot change people. I just don't want people to assume their "goodness" or bravery wasn't worth giving 3 decades to making it work. Only because I did the work, 7 years in recovery can I even honestly tell that story.
I've watched some of that guy's content on youtube and he has one good video (the one where he teaches an Indian girl to flirt) but I quickly got turned off to his advice. His target market/audience is overwhelmingly female and I saw him giving very preferential advice that frankly was way too soft on instances of bad behavior, unrealistic standards, and disrepect by women. I understand that he is catering to that audience but I value Sadia's advice much more due to the more realistic basis for it whereas his is more idealistic and suffers from that.
I’m the same. I came across his videos bc he seemed to be popular but after listening to several of them I decided I will not be taking advice from him. Sadia is brilliant and realistic
this man is just protecting his pay pocket on youtube he knows better than the poo he's talking but he knows there are thousands of desperate people that follows him and he needs to protect that.
It seems that Matthew is trying to justify and excuse his own cheating in this video, possibly to alleviate his guilt. His strong reaction to Sadia's comments suggests that he feels personally attacked, which makes it quite obvious that he's defensive... 🤭
Matthew is not living in the reality - as a woman, after being smashed by reality, I can say that love does not concur everything, which I ‘believed deeply’ when I was younger.
Any time (3) during my past 40 years I have forgave my ex-girlfriends/fiances, all 3 proved that they belong to the streets and not relationship materials. Sidenote: during the work trying to fix the relationship i figured all 3 was capable to do extreme chasing, buy everything for their lovers (even though I was the provider), having sex multiple time a day, even in public, being sleepless just to speak with them. So from that point on knowing they are capable of theese things, i expected the same thing and made them to do it for me as well, exactly in the same way, while i cut out all travels/spending, etc. As long as I acted this way, it was okay. As soon as i stopped being "toxic" they cheated again.
Sadia speaks to the base natures of humans - the ego. Matthew speaks to the higher version that exists in us all - the selfless side capable of higher love. Both are correct. We get to choose where we reside along that axis.
Fascinating...and one of the best arguments for just living with a dog; they are 100% loyal, they won't take your house and children and they will only make you cry one day
Sadia why you even debating with this guy. He know you right but the truth hurts. Obviously he forgave a women who cheated. If my girlfriend cheat, we done.
Dude here, shes right. I've had the experiences shes laid out. I was better off when I finally walked away. When you think about how evolution shapes men vs women, what she says makes complete sense.
I follow both Sadia and Matthew..briefly. im definitely not a follower of either party but listening to the points presented, Sadia definitely sounds more realistic and factual which appeals to me as we live in the reality and useful to know. This dialogue shows the reality of people who choose to hope and wish for the better, at the same time, facts and painful truth that are hard to accept.
This was an intelligent and lively discussion on fhe dynamics of interpersonal relationships especially when it comes to infidelity. I appeciate that they kept the debate civil. Initially I sat down to watch one part but was intrigued by the debate and ended up watching all three parts in one sitting.
When I woke up with a terrible hangover today I promised myself I would never drink again - but I know that promise will fade come next weekend. Give anything enough time and you will rinse and repeat. This applies to relationships too, whether it's cheating, violence, lying etc. Forgiving doesn't do anyone a service, it just prolongs something that is guaranteed to fail. I also totally agree with what Sadia is saying, the respect is gone as described.
It’s surprising to see experts struggling to bring clarity to this discussion. Neither perspective is fully accurate because the issue isn’t as simple as gender-it’s about the roles people take on in relationships. If a woman cheats, she may be likely to do it again, if her partner’s role revolves around providing security and protection. By forgiving her, he might inadvertently undermine the core value he offers. In her mind, she could think, “If I can cheat on him and get away with it, what else might bring him down?” Matthew makes a valid point too, as he’s never embodied those qualities to begin with. Men can offer a variety of other strengths that are equally valuable. Cheating, however, does affect men and women differently. Women, in particular, can often be more convincing to men, especially those who’ve never experienced attention from someone they find attractive, whether it’s a woman or a man. Sometimes, men become targets once they gain more resources or success, making them vulnerable in ways they hadn’t anticipated. And the idea that a cheater needs four years of therapy to deal with their guilt? Honestly, that seems like overkill. If that’s the case, there are likely bigger issues at hand! 😅 At the end of the day, this dynamic is far more complex than either argument suggests. 7:24
I appreciate you're opinion. I for sure think its nuanced. It's interesting to read all the comments that take one side clearly over the other. But reason why it's so divisive is that the topic is multifaceted. It's not a clear 1 + 1 = 2. This is a nuanced topic with many variables. In my opinion both had good points, but I'd hate to say only one side was true.
@@dennissanchez1905 fair points. It's not always the case that "once a cheater, always a cheater" otherwise most people would be branded cheaters unless they never cheated in anything i.e. games, activities, class work etc, ever in their life which is very rare. Cheating is always a conscious choice so it is tough to be so quick to forgive. A lot of thought goes into it but the thought is always only considering what will happen in the moment and not the aftermath. Even if you want to "blame it on the alcohol" you are still aware that the person you are going to get intimate with is not your S/O if you are in a relationship or even if single the other person is not single either but it still goes down. On the flip side when partners don't fulfil their duties and in the case of men, it's more so the lack of sex given by the women then it can't fall solely on the man for straying. The woman has to take blame for weaponzing sex when it need not be the case. The man may have pleased with the woman to open up, get some help dealing with whatever she is going through and all to no avail, hence he did what he did. When women cheat due to lack of "emotional validation" which is what most blame it on, then it falls on the man to be aware of that because maybe at some point he slipped up there. But there may be points where she pleaded with him to be better or more present to no avail and she did what she did. There are both men and women who do their best and still get cheated on and that is where forgiving their partner is a difficult ask because there really was no need to cheat if you're getting the majority (since it's impossible to get 100%) of what you expect in a relationship. Communication becomes an issue at that point, guilt and selfishness and perhaps greed play a part too. You're right it's not always that easy to dissect but ultimately it is always a choice. How much you value your relationship determines how much you stay true to your vows or not.
@@Eddybo22 Hey I appreciate the response and trying to distill it down to its core. But even then, my thought: Ultimately, whether someone stays true or cheats in a relationship does come down to **individual choice**, but that choice is guided by several factors. These factors include the **value placed on the relationship**, personal **morals and beliefs**, **emotional fulfillment**, and **situational influences**. Let's break down the key elements that typically guide this decision: ### 1. **Value Placed on the Relationship**: - **Commitment**: If a person deeply values their relationship, they are more likely to stay committed and avoid behaviors like infidelity. Studies show that people who report high satisfaction and emotional connection in their relationship are less likely to cheat because they don’t want to jeopardize the bond they’ve formed - **Investment**: Emotional and practical investments (like shared finances, children, or time) also make a person more likely to stay loyal. The more a person feels they have to lose, the less likely they are to engage in cheating. ### 2. **Personal Values and Beliefs**: - **Moral Compass**: A person's moral values play a significant role. Some people, regardless of relationship challenges, have a strong belief in monogamy and commitment, which acts as a deterrent to cheating. - **Religious or Cultural Influences**: Religious beliefs or cultural norms can also be powerful guides. For example, people who frequently attend religious services report lower rates of cheating ### 3. **Emotional Fulfillment**: - **Unmet Needs**: Emotional dissatisfaction is a major predictor of infidelity, especially for women. If someone feels neglected, unloved, or emotionally disconnected, they may seek intimacy or validation outside the relationship - **Sexual Fulfillment**: For men, the decision to cheat can sometimes be driven more by unmet sexual needs, even if they are otherwise satisfied in their relationship ### 4. **Situational Factors**: - **Opportunities**: Sometimes infidelity occurs simply because of the availability of an opportunity-this can involve being in situations that lower one’s guard (e.g., alcohol, travel, or proximity to someone attractive). - **Temptation and Peer Influence**: Social circles and peer influences can also affect whether someone cheats, especially if infidelity is normalized or encouraged within the group ### 5. **Impulse Control and Personality**: - **Self-Control**: Some studies link impulsivity and personality traits like narcissism to higher rates of infidelity. People who lack impulse control or prioritize their own desires over their partner’s well-being may be more prone to cheat Saying that infidelity is caused **only by how much you value the relationship** is too simplistic. While **value** plays a key role, it's not the only factor. Research shows that other influences like **emotional fulfillment**, **opportunity**, **impulse control**, and **moral beliefs** are crucial too. A person might deeply value their relationship but still cheat due to unmet needs, situational factors, or personal traits like impulsivity. Therefore, reducing it to just one factor overlooks the complexity of human behavior and relationship dynamics. It’s a mix of values, emotions, and circumstances that shapes these decisions. I do agree its a concious choice. To to keep it simple it is a choice. Now as to why or how someone makes that choice, I believe its nuanced. To say its only one thing, is a little too simplsitic
I feel like Matthew Hussey disagrees just for the sake of it. Sadia's perspective aligns more with what I’ve seen and experienced in my life. His logic and communication is annoying at best.
Very interesting conversation. I am dating again in my fifties after a long marriage and raising a family. I have chatted with many twice and sometimes thrice divorced previously affluent men who didn't learn the first time round and have lost pretty much all of their own financial security. Trading a previous spouse for a younger and more vibrant new wife might look great on your social media.....well, until it all ends - again . 😢 Great content !
Just being humanity good not perfect in relationship is probably the reality of it! So much complexities in the world and how we view it from experience will ultimately make us who we become.... So be wise with every decision
Yes I’ve been cheated on years ago and my experience resonates more with Sadia because the female continually cheated. Looking back I cringe because I tried to forgive time and time again thinking things would change. But in the end, like Sadia said she just lost respect for me every time because 1) I showed lack of access to “fish in the sea” 2) I lacked respect for myself after accepting disrespect time and time again
Sadia is right when she says women lose respect for a man because even if the man forgives her, her husband will always be a constant reminder to her of her wrongdoing and that's the main reason she loses respect for the partner she cheated on. She will resent him and it will come out in different forms of disrespect in other ways. Yes, it would take great strength to repair that relationship but arguments about the cheating affair would always come out. It would be even worse if the woman had a child with the man who she was cheating on her husband with. It's better to have some self-respect and leave. Modern-day married couples don't take their vows seriously enough, and some marriages don't make it and change over time "In sickness and in health". I agree with Sadia women cheat more.
I think I finally understand what he's getting at even though he sitting on the fence however I'd say he's wrong cause guys don't need this sugar coated mess we need to hear this raw side of women perspective so we can truly understand how women think so we can be better men
The most produndly articulated statement for Sadia's perspective is on 3:54. That's all that's needed to distinguish their point of disagreement. I'm with Sadia on this one.
Although I don’t always agree with Sadia how can you even spar with a guy who has no experience in life at 37? He’s become an expert becuz he pontificates about woman. I was married for 42.5 years have more experience then this guy. Just listening to him makes my mind spin. He can’t even comb his hair it’s so slovenly!👎🏻
There are a couple of important acknowledgments missing from this conversation. 1. Matthew is not a clinical counsellor with thousands of personal client case files to draw information from. He gives dating advice. He is arguing dogmatically - i.e. from principles and assumptions - rather than empirically (i.e. from conclusions drawn from patterns found in data gathered by observing real-life phenomena). 2. There are well-established empirically demonstrated biological and psychological differences between men and women. Therefore we should *expect* women and men to have at least somewhat different priorities, standards and judgments in relationships. Matthew appears to believe it's more "ethical" not to believe there are any differences between men and women with regards to what they want and need from relationships, why they cheat, and how their infidelity should be addressed. This is simply unrealistic in view of the well-established biological and psychological differences between men and women. Matthew needs to gather facts from a few thousand case files before he draws any conclusions. Arguing from first principles and dogmatic assumptions is worthless. We need to know what the facts of people's lived experience are, and what patterns emerge from those facts. We can gather those facts only from thousand and thousands of peolple's intimate, honest confessions about their lives. It would appear to me that Sadia has been privy to far more such facts than Matthew has. I therefore find that her conclusions are more credible than Matthew's.
I could forgive, but the relationship is over. Lewis makes good points, unfortunately he bulldozed her a few times and not let Sadia her finish her points. He clearly doesn't want to consider differences between men and women, nor acknowledge the idea that women cheat at least as much as men.
This guy has definitely been cheated on, and he's forgiven her. He's defending his decision to forgive and doesn't want to accept that fact that she may cheat AGAIN!!! Chances are high that she might😅
I would be interested to hear Sadia's take on the effect religion has on a relationship. It seems that it can dramatically shift the dynamic when that is a strong consideration for both the man and a woman.
I think she has a valid point about women cheating vs men. And how after forgiveness it’s different in the male perspective. Women who cheat on men has a way different path back then men.
Many people criticize Sadia's POV but I don't remember disagreeing with her opinion once since I first heard her speak. I have also heard a lot of content from Matthew Hussey but this time, I'm afraid I don't share his opinion. I think like Sadia regarding this topic.
Matthews absolutely correct about sex being a response. TRUE! Sex can be a coping mechanism- just like drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating. Sex was also a drug for me. I was addicted to that validation.
Sexual infidelity is not the same for men and women. There is nothing more degrading for a man than forgive someone who betrayed you. It is the same as if a man did not even tried to protect his woman from phisical assault and then ask her to "forgive" him. She would not be able to live with him, even if forgave him.
For all exclusive content see patreon link in bio and can also ask me any questions www.patreon.com/Sadiapsychology
Matthew is explaining the ideal world full of love and kindness that everyone wants to live in and each of us is craving for. Sadia is explaining the real and cruel world that we live in and we're all experiencing. That's it.
Matthew is what is referred to as a "Beta Male"
I agree that Sadia view is sometimes more realistic
yeah, but it also shows his view of women. There must be a good reason why he doesn't trust women and why he seems to see ALL women as cheaters. I almost feel sorry for him. I wonder what happened
@@muma6559 Watch parts 1 & 2. In short though, he was betrayed, chose to reconcile, as of this pdcast, still together after 10yrs. BUT, You could tell, the pain is still there. 🤷♂️✌️
@@SkyeRae-pg6cv Naaa, the woman he married he's only been with about three years. The previous one, i don't know. He just got married less than a year ago. And they've only been together about three years. So what's the deal ? Who's betrayal ?
We all agree with her. She’s 100% on point.
Oh wow , just like she says there isnt 1 women in a healthy relationship after cheating, you are saying everyone agrees with her. I dont agree, so you are lying.
Sadia - you go girl, you are correct. that's my experience, caught my wife lying, she apologized, later caught her again.
Sadia, is on point. As a man I absolutely agree with her. Men who are cheated on MUST move on from that relationship.
I was cheated on by my ex-wife. I tried everything to make it work. She didn't lift a finger and blamed me for her affair. She divorced to be with her affair partner at work.
99/100 times, men should never take a woman back after she cheats. The relationship is over, the cheater is who she was all the time.
Damn right💯
@@MicahMadru And the guy who she cheated with on you will cheat on him and vice versa. They deserve each other.
100 /100 - never - it is biological test - if You allow unspeakable - Its game on - everything goes.
#FactsOfLife
I agree
The truth in this debate is that he has bought the myth that has been sold to men about what women are .
Exactly !.He is wonderfully arrogant.and he is defending his cognitive dissonance to the hilt..BS..
"CHEATING WOMEN"! Don't pool my beautiful, genuine, absolutely loyal wife of 25 years with those cheating losers. I get you though...
What do you think abut multiple waifs in the moslem world do you consider that cheating??????
Im a woman and I couldnt agree more with sadia!
This dude got cheated on 100 percent and is in denial.
Agreed
100% agree…
I hate to say it, but it looks that way.
He’s weak man, just forgot
He actually said that he did get cheated on
Didn’t you watch til the end ?
Cheating is premeditated. On both ends, cheating is not healthy, it is a betrayal, lack of commitment, lack of respect and lack of loyalty. Forgiveness is great, but boundaries should be set. It's a one off case, that cheating occurs when people are caught off guard.
Cheating can reflect many things. For starters it usually is perpetrated by someone who can't ask for what they want from their partner. This is also precluded by this person because if they cant ask for what they want in life they will seek partners who are more on the promiscuous side because those people appear to be able to provide that which the person is unable to ask for.
Unfortunately promiscuous people have different goals because the promiscuity provides for them what they think is unavailable for them if they are not promiscuous. This is one example of a relationship that is predetermined for failure.
I can say to Matthew unequivocally that Sadia is correct. My wife of 12yrs, 1 son, a brand new house, and 2 new mercedes left me for a former boyfriend. Everything she did, said, yelled, and guilted me with was textbook verbatim from Sadia. The cheating isn't spur of the moment, it's calculated and methodically planned. Once they've decided to cheat they have no longer have respect nor empathy for you and will do everything they can to shame and embarrass you in order to validate to themselves that it was in their best interest to cheat and leave you.
IMO. Getting financially compensated for getting a divorce, are also perhaps more incentives to cheating.
I am a research scientist who has applied my tools and methods of physics research to the human connection. As a result, I have created a model that reflects the reality of fundamentals that never change in human relationships. I refer to a model like physicist create. It has mathematics, concepts, and the complex interweaving of basic ideas. This model is written in several modeling languages. I loved seeing wise people engaging in a conversation with friction, yet maintaining respect for each other. Friction is a fundamental of moving our ideas forward. Seldom do ideas change without friction. Friction is not argument or debate. It is mature dialog about deep differences. Thank you to all three of you.
I appreciate how Matthew wants to equate the emotional capacity...
but as a woman, which he is not, but yes that's his client base... yet as a woman, I have to agree with Sadia.
it's not that I don't believe women aren't capable but that it completely eradicates all respect once I go to a man outside of the relationship, period. There's no coming back. Men do have more of a capability to detach...
but I'd also like to add...
a woman that forgives will never forget, so even if she let's him come back and they stay together, that insecurity will always live in her until they part/pass...
cheating is an unrepairable damaging act... both ways, despite the likelihood of the man to appreciate his forgiveness, he may also loose respect for the woman that stays and does not have AND ACT ON any boundary for this.
💯, it seems like he just wants to harp on the point that women(let's be honest all are capable but whether they choose to is a different scenario) just can't do wrong and they aren't that evil and they're quick to forgive and forget more so than men. If that is the case wouldn't men be leading the filing of divorces? He definitely took Sadia's points as a personal attack on himself being that he probably has been through that situation himself where he got cheated on, forgave the woman and it didn't work out. He just doesn't want to admit it.
If Sadia really wanted to prove a point all she had to do was ask him "Have you been cheated on before? If so, did you forgive the woman and work on the relationship? What were the results?" That would have summed up her point right there.
it is wise and mature of you to be unbiase
I think you're right... so women, don't deny your men the singular thing they are biologically driven to want, and that they vow to forego - forsaking all others - when they marry. An extended post-vow denial of sex is the first betrayal... and men who accept it compromise their own right to respect.
Sadia is 100% right. She said it all and all her reasons are facts.
Behaviour will continue unless the cheater takes the time, more often than not with an objective professional, to help them get to the cause of the cheating.
The sex, which is often the point of focus of attention, is purely a symptom. Dealing with the symptoms alone will not fix it.
A brilliant and much needed conversation.
Let Sadia finish her train of thought!! Matthew is being disrespectful when she is saying things about women he doesn't want to hear. I guess he has been hurt by a cheating girlfriend and after he had forgiven her he realized she's lost all respect for him. So it made him less of a man and Sadia put her finger on his weak spot 😢
💯💯🎯
but he can get over it, that's the point. Everyone can learn and grow and be a stronger man/woman. This is pushing him to have standards but he is resisting.... is that what he's scared of ?? Someone who wants to grow would be responding in a different way
She is stating personal experience as facts, thats bullshit. My personal experience is, i crashed my car. Now driving is super dangerous, based on my personal experience.
@@wijnandvo oh, so that is why most women agree? Yep makes total sense 🙄😂🤣😂
@@karinesavard2016 agree to what ? You've lost me
His wife convinced him to be in an open relationship. And now he PRAISES her 🤣👏
Wait whaaaaaaat 😂☕ where did you find this info
@@charlieinthesky829
In his argument
Say it ain't so
😂😂😂
That's really underhanded. Not cool, bro.
Well, he’s obviously still with who cheated on him lol
it's not funny, it's horrendous
@@muma6559simple, its his choice. Not horrendous. You choose the way you want to live like any other person.
@@donnywhyte2726 ok, you're right. I was thinking that predicament is awful. Some people are so insecure, they don't have the strength to man up.
@@muma6559 I can understand your point of view. I appreciate your open mindedness.
Your right on point he kept making excuses woman have told him why they did it all he’s heard is one side of the story he’s never worked with men he said it !
Mathew stop speaking over Sadia, let her finish a damn sentence
He has issues.
He looks weak by constantly interrupting her and basically not letting a normal dialogue happen. Listen to the other person and respond calmly then your point will have more weight. He tries very hard to look a certain way.
She’s doing the same. This is a game to her.
@@Cameron-j4d that is Martian vs Venusian. Studies of classrooms with mixed sexes show boys tend to grab all the attention. Girls tend to excel in all girl classes and boys do less well in all boy classes, that's academically.
U can not discuss with idiots 😂
Mathew should be coaching the cheaters 😂
Well he coach women so theres that
He is coaching the cheaters, in fact it's a good bet the majority of his paying customers are women who ARE cheating. He has a MASSIVE conflict of interest here
Mathew is insufferable, let her finish her point, hes pathetic!
His Idea of saving the relationship is absurd, because there is no relationship to save once one step out of the relationship to cheat. Sadia got great points. She’s speaking the reality, he is speaking the ideal
i can't believe Matthew is a relationship coach. he is so naive. maybe his advice works if your girlfriend/wife is around average looking. you'll get eaten alive if you listen to his advice with beautiful women.
Even average women nowadays can destroy your life if you're too soft with her.
@@spartanghost9713 agree. that's why Matthew's advice is dangerous for men.
@@spartanghost9713 you're a hero for forgiving cheating? no, grow some balls and move on.
Great discussion, congrats! 👏 I agree with her. Her perspéctive may seem "rash" or hard to diggest at first, but makes total sense. The guy does not see it because he's too sensitive and only focused in an hidilic reality, which in most cases represents a mere minority 🤷♂️
"Cheating is just one other way we mess up in life"
Do you say that about murder too? It's NOT just one other way. It's the worst transgression you can do in a relationship. You have to have such a fundamental lack of integrity, empathy, and decency to do that!
Exactly lol.
I think one of Sadia’s points is Women are attracted to Men that other women like. If a Man is cheated on but many woman like him he could easily choose another that won’t cheat on him, by forgiving and ultimately choosing the cheater in her eyes she’s the best he can get.
Woman are predisposed to Hypergamy so thinking she’s the best he can get raises the question can she get better.
I think Mathew is correct in what he is saying but it’s the minority like small single digit percentage, also the other person has neglected the relationship too.
It’s well summarised by saying Men choose not to cheat whereas woman choose to cheat.
Her argument which I believe is correct is if a woman truely loves her Man she won’t risk anything that will lose him. If there’s no perceived risk it changes the dynamics
Im. 40 year old male I agree with Sadia. I don't even know if all women understand how they act towards men they don't respect.
Sadia you are on point. Matthew is stuck on the illusion of forgiveness being the end all be when a woman cheats.
He took the general conversation and Sadia's points way too personal which means it has happened to him before and he regrets it but he doesn't want to admit it.
To prove her point all she had to do was ask him,"Have you been cheated on before? If so, did you forgive the woman and work on the relationship? What were the results?"
That would have summed up her point right there.
If a man cheats, if a woman cheats the relationship is done, all respect is gone.
You can forgive a person all you want, the person will not have any respect for you by doing so. Period.
A woman will SAY she forgives you but will never forget it and her love for you will NEVER be the same, the way she looks at you won't be the same, the way she touches you won't be the same. It will be a half hearted effort till you part ways.
A man will SAY he forgives you but will always have flashbacks of what possibly could have happened or what did happen between his wife and another man. Something no man wants to picture. He will never love you or care about you the same way.
If you actually care about your relationship you won't cheat, you either don't cheat at all or just exit it before you cheat. Once you do, there is no coming back from it.
This is Sadia's magnum opus. this video is whole wake up call!
He wants to cover the sun with the thumb. But cheating doesn’t come from love period, forgiveness does, forgive but don’t forget. She spoke the truth firmly and clear.
Well-done Sadia! Thank you!
i hate that she kept getting interrupted.
She understands female nature more than any man can or ever will.
Men and women view sex and intimacy differently. As a result, cheating is viewed differently. It's equally bad for both genders however, men and women deal and process betrayal differently. We are essentially polar opposites and that is the point that Matthew keeps missing
💯💯💯💯🎯
I tried to make it work but he continued to cheat. It didn’t work for me. The respect was lost and it was never the same. Mathew is talking about the 1%. It’s hard to trust someone again
i agree that unfortunately chaning somones personality is difficult and chatting is a part of someone's personality and who they are unless they try to change which is very hard
Matthew is more worried about defending his narrow mind. He doesn't want to accept that there are more variables than his personal opinions and feelings regarding cheating. I absolutely 100% agree with Sadia. I think she absolutely nailed this. Spot on!
Matthew is living in fantasy land, Sadia lives in reality.
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. I would bet more relationships will end than be repaired when someone cheats.
I agree with both of them on different points, to be honest.
I was cheated on 11yrs ago, and it broke me to where I have never quite healed.
Man, Matthew is not stupid but I don’t know, his view is very off, Sadia was more practical, more on men view of things rather than conection only like Matthew was, and it’s surprises me. He ain’t stupid but Sadia was right.
He's not stupid, but way out of his league
@@Sheyshelthe difference between an educated psychologist and a coach.
Exactly!!@@faithandfamily
@@faithandfamily not necessarily, some people just haven't worked out what's right and what's wrong, no matter what they are, coaches or psychologist. This is about personal standards, not professional wisdom. There are plenty of psychologists pushing forgiveness inappropriately. I always saw him as nervous talking to Sadia, I saw that, it was very clear. If she's an INFJ... you can't hide anything from them.
Did he just say he doesn’t see a difference between women and female cheaters?
yeah....
A complete dismissal of reality, huh?
That guy’s a simp.
Ouch
Name calling is female behaviour
@@wijnandvo I know you are but what am I?
I admire Matthews sense of a romantic view. However, and as a man, I agree with Sadia.
On a side note, one thing I've learnt about relationships, whether it's professional with a colleague, romantic with a partner or platonic with a great friend, or even a debate; communication is key! Please let the other person have time and breath to explain themselves and be understood, and if you don't understand, your time will come to express yourself, or find your way to understand what they're saying. Don't shut down the other person before they have a chance to explain the thing you even asked them to explain. It's almost like your fixed beliefs doesn't want to hear something that doesn't align with your view of the world.
This guy is insufferable ! Bordering on delusional. Thank you for speaking truth and facts Ms Khan
yep
Agree! I’d be to embarrassed to spew such delusions with so much unwavering devotion and confidence. He is obviously defending the “logic” (lies)he’s created around his own forgiveness within his relationship and cannot accept the idea that none of what he tells himself actually matters in the heart of the woman who lost respect for him.
@@ladycryptoshop The concern is that he doesn't seem to see himself.
Well put! It may not sit well but the truth is if a man forgives a women HE must feel diminished / softcock … if he feels that way then no women will respect him.
Here I am. I've cheated and I've been cheated on. We did that game (after forgiveness took place) for 30 years. Basically, I think it became see no evil. Now- this is the father of my child. Still to this day, I live alone. He's doing his thing. The damage done to is both was INSANE. Quite honestly- if I could re-live that relationship, i woulda broke up the first time. Only after I turned 50, did I settle down and now, I'm like okay- I should take him back. To me, this is absolutely more about me not being able to let go. Jez, it's a skill I didn't know how to do. LET GO. We cannot change people. I just don't want people to assume their "goodness" or bravery wasn't worth giving 3 decades to making it work. Only because I did the work, 7 years in recovery can I even honestly tell that story.
I've watched some of that guy's content on youtube and he has one good video (the one where he teaches an Indian girl to flirt) but I quickly got turned off to his advice. His target market/audience is overwhelmingly female and I saw him giving very preferential advice that frankly was way too soft on instances of bad behavior, unrealistic standards, and disrepect by women. I understand that he is catering to that audience but I value Sadia's advice much more due to the more realistic basis for it whereas his is more idealistic and suffers from that.
💯💯
I’m the same. I came across his videos bc he seemed to be popular but after listening to several of them I decided I will not be taking advice from him. Sadia is brilliant and realistic
Matthew has not got a clue
this man is just protecting his pay pocket on youtube he knows better than the poo he's talking but he knows there are thousands of desperate people that follows him and he needs to protect that.
yeah...... there are some deeper worries with Matthew for sure. He's terrified.
She doesn't earn from her job?
@@wijnandvo of course she does, what do you mean ?
Taking a cheater back, never works. I speak from experience. She-did-it-again, a year later. Never take a cheater back.
Woman want another man for whatever reason move on … total deal breaker.
He talks from his own experience . So protective
I appreciate how listening Mathew is
It seems that Matthew is trying to justify and excuse his own cheating in this video, possibly to alleviate his guilt. His strong reaction to Sadia's comments suggests that he feels personally attacked, which makes it quite obvious that he's defensive... 🤭
Agree!
Matthew is not living in the reality - as a woman, after being smashed by reality, I can say that love does not concur everything, which I ‘believed deeply’ when I was younger.
Any time (3) during my past 40 years I have forgave my ex-girlfriends/fiances, all 3 proved that they belong to the streets and not relationship materials.
Sidenote: during the work trying to fix the relationship i figured all 3 was capable to do extreme chasing, buy everything for their lovers (even though I was the provider), having sex multiple time a day, even in public, being sleepless just to speak with them. So from that point on knowing they are capable of theese things, i expected the same thing and made them to do it for me as well, exactly in the same way, while i cut out all travels/spending, etc. As long as I acted this way, it was okay. As soon as i stopped being "toxic" they cheated again.
Sadia speaks to the base natures of humans - the ego. Matthew speaks to the higher version that exists in us all - the selfless side capable of higher love. Both are correct. We get to choose where we reside along that axis.
Well said!
Love your comment, totally agree.
Awesome comment
We have to protect her at all cost !!! #protectsadiakahn !!!
Fascinating...and one of the best arguments for just living with a dog; they are 100% loyal, they won't take your house and children and they will only make you cry one day
I totally agree with him. I agree with her points for some cheating women not her blanket statement of all women who have cheated.
that white guy has a bad habit interrupting her.
he has no valid points and back tracked everything he said
Oh yeah, I would totally overlook the cheating and praise her for feeling guilty and brave for fessing up😂
Sadia why you even debating with this guy. He know you right but the truth hurts. Obviously he forgave a women who cheated. If my girlfriend cheat, we done.
Dude here, shes right. I've had the experiences shes laid out. I was better off when I finally walked away.
When you think about how evolution shapes men vs women, what she says makes complete sense.
I follow both Sadia and Matthew..briefly. im definitely not a follower of either party but listening to the points presented, Sadia definitely sounds more realistic and factual which appeals to me as we live in the reality and useful to know. This dialogue shows the reality of people who choose to hope and wish for the better, at the same time, facts and painful truth that are hard to accept.
This was an intelligent and lively discussion on fhe dynamics of interpersonal relationships especially when it comes to infidelity. I appeciate that they kept the debate civil. Initially I sat down to watch one part but was intrigued by the debate and ended up watching all three parts in one sitting.
When I woke up with a terrible hangover today I promised myself I would never drink again - but I know that promise will fade come next weekend. Give anything enough time and you will rinse and repeat. This applies to relationships too, whether it's cheating, violence, lying etc. Forgiving doesn't do anyone a service, it just prolongs something that is guaranteed to fail. I also totally agree with what Sadia is saying, the respect is gone as described.
It’s surprising to see experts struggling to bring clarity to this discussion. Neither perspective is fully accurate because the issue isn’t as simple as gender-it’s about the roles people take on in relationships. If a woman cheats, she may be likely to do it again, if her partner’s role revolves around providing security and protection. By forgiving her, he might inadvertently undermine the core value he offers. In her mind, she could think, “If I can cheat on him and get away with it, what else might bring him down?”
Matthew makes a valid point too, as he’s never embodied those qualities to begin with. Men can offer a variety of other strengths that are equally valuable.
Cheating, however, does affect men and women differently. Women, in particular, can often be more convincing to men, especially those who’ve never experienced attention from someone they find attractive, whether it’s a woman or a man. Sometimes, men become targets once they gain more resources or success, making them vulnerable in ways they hadn’t anticipated.
And the idea that a cheater needs four years of therapy to deal with their guilt? Honestly, that seems like overkill. If that’s the case, there are likely bigger issues at hand! 😅
At the end of the day, this dynamic is far more complex than either argument suggests. 7:24
The whole episode he is trying to force her to stop making distinctions between gender
@@Madagascar2024 that's where the issue is.
I appreciate you're opinion. I for sure think its nuanced. It's interesting to read all the comments that take one side clearly over the other. But reason why it's so divisive is that the topic is multifaceted. It's not a clear 1 + 1 = 2. This is a nuanced topic with many variables. In my opinion both had good points, but I'd hate to say only one side was true.
@@dennissanchez1905 fair points. It's not always the case that "once a cheater, always a cheater" otherwise most people would be branded cheaters unless they never cheated in anything i.e. games, activities, class work etc, ever in their life which is very rare.
Cheating is always a conscious choice so it is tough to be so quick to forgive. A lot of thought goes into it but the thought is always only considering what will happen in the moment and not the aftermath. Even if you want to "blame it on the alcohol" you are still aware that the person you are going to get intimate with is not your S/O if you are in a relationship or even if single the other person is not single either but it still goes down.
On the flip side when partners don't fulfil their duties and in the case of men, it's more so the lack of sex given by the women then it can't fall solely on the man for straying. The woman has to take blame for weaponzing sex when it need not be the case. The man may have pleased with the woman to open up, get some help dealing with whatever she is going through and all to no avail, hence he did what he did.
When women cheat due to lack of "emotional validation" which is what most blame it on, then it falls on the man to be aware of that because maybe at some point he slipped up there. But there may be points where she pleaded with him to be better or more present to no avail and she did what she did.
There are both men and women who do their best and still get cheated on and that is where forgiving their partner is a difficult ask because there really was no need to cheat if you're getting the majority (since it's impossible to get 100%) of what you expect in a relationship. Communication becomes an issue at that point, guilt and selfishness and perhaps greed play a part too.
You're right it's not always that easy to dissect but ultimately it is always a choice. How much you value your relationship determines how much you stay true to your vows or not.
@@Eddybo22 Hey I appreciate the response and trying to distill it down to its core. But even then, my thought:
Ultimately, whether someone stays true or cheats in a relationship does come down to **individual choice**, but that choice is guided by several factors. These factors include the **value placed on the relationship**, personal **morals and beliefs**, **emotional fulfillment**, and **situational influences**. Let's break down the key elements that typically guide this decision:
### 1. **Value Placed on the Relationship**:
- **Commitment**: If a person deeply values their relationship, they are more likely to stay committed and avoid behaviors like infidelity. Studies show that people who report high satisfaction and emotional connection in their relationship are less likely to cheat because they don’t want to jeopardize the bond they’ve formed
- **Investment**: Emotional and practical investments (like shared finances, children, or time) also make a person more likely to stay loyal. The more a person feels they have to lose, the less likely they are to engage in cheating.
### 2. **Personal Values and Beliefs**:
- **Moral Compass**: A person's moral values play a significant role. Some people, regardless of relationship challenges, have a strong belief in monogamy and commitment, which acts as a deterrent to cheating.
- **Religious or Cultural Influences**: Religious beliefs or cultural norms can also be powerful guides. For example, people who frequently attend religious services report lower rates of cheating
### 3. **Emotional Fulfillment**:
- **Unmet Needs**: Emotional dissatisfaction is a major predictor of infidelity, especially for women. If someone feels neglected, unloved, or emotionally disconnected, they may seek intimacy or validation outside the relationship
- **Sexual Fulfillment**: For men, the decision to cheat can sometimes be driven more by unmet sexual needs, even if they are otherwise satisfied in their relationship
### 4. **Situational Factors**:
- **Opportunities**: Sometimes infidelity occurs simply because of the availability of an opportunity-this can involve being in situations that lower one’s guard (e.g., alcohol, travel, or proximity to someone attractive).
- **Temptation and Peer Influence**: Social circles and peer influences can also affect whether someone cheats, especially if infidelity is normalized or encouraged within the group
### 5. **Impulse Control and Personality**:
- **Self-Control**: Some studies link impulsivity and personality traits like narcissism to higher rates of infidelity. People who lack impulse control or prioritize their own desires over their partner’s well-being may be more prone to cheat
Saying that infidelity is caused **only by how much you value the relationship** is too simplistic. While **value** plays a key role, it's not the only factor. Research shows that other influences like **emotional fulfillment**, **opportunity**, **impulse control**, and **moral beliefs** are crucial too. A person might deeply value their relationship but still cheat due to unmet needs, situational factors, or personal traits like impulsivity. Therefore, reducing it to just one factor overlooks the complexity of human behavior and relationship dynamics. It’s a mix of values, emotions, and circumstances that shapes these decisions.
I do agree its a concious choice. To to keep it simple it is a choice. Now as to why or how someone makes that choice, I believe its nuanced. To say its only one thing, is a little too simplsitic
I feel like Matthew Hussey disagrees just for the sake of it. Sadia's perspective aligns more with what I’ve seen and experienced in my life. His logic and communication is annoying at best.
He has been cheat on and forgot the girl 100% , the way he debated Sadia was like she was personally attacking HIM
Very interesting conversation. I am dating again in my fifties after a long marriage and raising a family.
I have chatted with many twice and sometimes thrice divorced previously affluent men who didn't learn the first time round and have lost pretty much all of their own financial security. Trading a previous spouse for a younger and more vibrant new wife might look great on your social media.....well, until it all ends - again . 😢
Great content !
Matthew is defensive….Sadia is listening and intelligently responding ….. he comes across badly in these discussions. She is so right❤
This guy is deluded. If someone loves you they don’t cheat. Period. No any excuse or reason to justify that act. This guy is just blind
Just being humanity good not perfect in relationship is probably the reality of it! So much complexities in the world and how we view it from experience will ultimately make us who we become.... So be wise with every decision
Yes I’ve been cheated on years ago and my experience resonates more with Sadia because the female continually cheated. Looking back I cringe because I tried to forgive time and time again thinking things would change. But in the end, like Sadia said she just lost respect for me every time because 1) I showed lack of access to “fish in the sea” 2) I lacked respect for myself after accepting disrespect time and time again
Sadia is right when she says women lose respect for a man because even if the man forgives her, her husband will always be a constant reminder to her of her wrongdoing and that's the main reason she loses respect for the partner she cheated on. She will resent him and it will come out in different forms of disrespect in other ways. Yes, it would take great strength to repair that relationship but arguments about the cheating affair would always come out. It would be even worse if the woman had a child with the man who she was cheating on her husband with. It's better to have some self-respect and leave. Modern-day married couples don't take their vows seriously enough, and some marriages don't make it and change over time "In sickness and in health". I agree with Sadia women cheat more.
I think I finally understand what he's getting at even though he sitting on the fence however I'd say he's wrong cause guys don't need this sugar coated mess we need to hear this raw side of women perspective so we can truly understand how women think so we can be better men
The most produndly articulated statement for Sadia's perspective is on 3:54. That's all that's needed to distinguish their point of disagreement. I'm with Sadia on this one.
Sadia see clearly in people behaviours, 100% agree with her.
Sadia is absolutely correct based off multiple experiences and observations from my own and many of friends and family experiences
Agree with Saida, if you love and respect you don't cheat.
12:52 - He said" people only cheat once" this is would say applies to everyone, cheating starts way before the supposed one time action. ..
Although I don’t always agree with Sadia how can you even spar with a guy who has no experience in life at 37? He’s become an expert becuz he pontificates about woman. I was married for 42.5 years have more experience then this guy. Just listening to him makes my mind spin. He can’t even comb his hair it’s so slovenly!👎🏻
I love love love this conversation. There's a lot to learn from both perspectives.
She’s absolutely correct!!! He’s trying to cater to women to get more views, he believes her too
Finally someone stood up to her
Matthew why u gotta keep interrupting ?
Im here for part 3, and i just know this is all set up to get us all rowdy up to see who wins the argument
Cheating is not a mistake It's a grave injury to the person you're cheating on
Matthew was trying to prove a concept but I actually learned things when I heard Sadia speak.
By understanding one simple rule, that what you appreciate, appreciates in value, and vice versa. If u just stick to law of duality, u can't go wrong.
There are a couple of important acknowledgments missing from this conversation. 1. Matthew is not a clinical counsellor with thousands of personal client case files to draw information from. He gives dating advice. He is arguing dogmatically - i.e. from principles and assumptions - rather than empirically (i.e. from conclusions drawn from patterns found in data gathered by observing real-life phenomena). 2. There are well-established empirically demonstrated biological and psychological differences between men and women. Therefore we should *expect* women and men to have at least somewhat different priorities, standards and judgments in relationships. Matthew appears to believe it's more "ethical" not to believe there are any differences between men and women with regards to what they want and need from relationships, why they cheat, and how their infidelity should be addressed. This is simply unrealistic in view of the well-established biological and psychological differences between men and women. Matthew needs to gather facts from a few thousand case files before he draws any conclusions. Arguing from first principles and dogmatic assumptions is worthless. We need to know what the facts of people's lived experience are, and what patterns emerge from those facts. We can gather those facts only from thousand and thousands of peolple's intimate, honest confessions about their lives. It would appear to me that Sadia has been privy to far more such facts than Matthew has. I therefore find that her conclusions are more credible than Matthew's.
He interrupted her the entire time she spoke 5:06
I could forgive, but the relationship is over.
Lewis makes good points, unfortunately he bulldozed her a few times and not let Sadia her finish her points. He clearly doesn't want to consider differences between men and women, nor acknowledge the idea that women cheat at least as much as men.
I agree.
It's important to have open conversations with differing views w/o insulting the other. So this is cool
Thanks Sadia. Wisdom cut through to the chase
THAT'S the POINT... "I would want him to realize his worth" @6:15
This guy has definitely been cheated on, and he's forgiven her. He's defending his decision to forgive and doesn't want to accept that fact that she may cheat AGAIN!!!
Chances are high that she might😅
I would be interested to hear Sadia's take on the effect religion has on a relationship. It seems that it can dramatically shift the dynamic when that is a strong consideration for both the man and a woman.
She has talk about it look it up is very interesting 😉
@@AlejandraC1_love I appreciate you. Thanks.
I think she has a valid point about women cheating vs men. And how after forgiveness it’s different in the male perspective. Women who cheat on men has a way different path back then men.
Nice guy!! Exactly as described by Robert Glover😂😂
Many people criticize Sadia's POV but I don't remember disagreeing with her opinion once since I first heard her speak. I have also heard a lot of content from Matthew Hussey but this time, I'm afraid I don't share his opinion. I think like Sadia regarding this topic.
Matthews absolutely correct about sex being a response. TRUE! Sex can be a coping mechanism- just like drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating. Sex was also a drug for me. I was addicted to that validation.
Sadia speaking facts while Matthew is working with anecdotal evidence and his own issues
This dude never even tried to understand what you were saying. He was 100% off in his own world
Sadia is right.
Sexual infidelity is not the same for men and women. There is nothing more degrading for a man than forgive someone who betrayed you. It is the same as if a man did not even tried to protect his woman from phisical assault and then ask her to "forgive" him. She would not be able to live with him, even if forgave him.