It's nice to hear a story once in awhile where the main character doesn't get stuck in a cave and suffocate or drown. And that it worked out for the cats.
@@bd12544Oh yeah it's so good, I went into the bank the other day and they said my account was empty but I really needed to buy some food because I was so hungry, luckily the bank teller noticed I was white and just started handing me hundred dollar bills, there were too many to count! Dickhead.
Dude I've heard my grandpa say sending coal to Newcastle whenever I asked something dumb because his dad said it or something and this guy happened to send it the same week a complete strike happened which was such a short period the saying was still used after
Bro you know that everyone was pissed,like you do all this and every time you try to ruin this man he wins.....knowing how things were back then I'm surprised people weren't thinking this man was being blessed by God or something cause holy hell.
@@JohnDoe-eo1opyessss I believe so I think God had his back because people were cruel and tried to take advantage of him and he got paid back ten or a hundred times
MASSIVELY GIRTHY KOK SEEN POKING THROUGH A TOWEL AT THE COMMUNITY POOL. THE KOK LOOKS LIKE AN ENORMOUS SNAKE WRIGGLING AROUND IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE. SPECTACULARLY HUGE GIRTHY VEINY ERECT KOK
The most incredible thing about this whole story is the fact that back then, you could sell an old suit of yours, and make enough money to actually relocate to a whole other town.
Timothy just went from poor to extremely rich by doing what he thought was a great deal. Never to expect his "rich friends" to try and ruin him but actually made him richer every time. I will always view this story as an example of how life can go even when the odds don't add up.
@@malumkishin8608 Or an example of EXTREMELY, unbelievable, and absolute dumb luck. When compared to the thousands and thousands of stories that went the opposite way, his story should serve as a reminder that lottery wins do exist and you shouldn't ever depend on them.
@@malumkishin8608 Bro the reason you view them as up and low class cause of the money they process tell me you know nothing of this world They wanted to bring him down but not cause he was a " low " class Bro were not in a hollywood movie.
William Pitt, first earl of chatham. Timothy dexter was illiterate and uneducated, and washington and pitt looked similar, yes im defending the misunderstanding of a dead 18th century ignoramus.
Right!. That's all I could think of while listening to this.. he is the type of dude to walk over the edge of a cliff and still just keep walking without falling because he didn't look down just believed with all of his will that he could walk on air..
20 years ago, I investigated an auto accident in the suburbs of Chicago. I asked the driver to complete a written statement form about his crash. For the other driver’s name, he wrote “Bambi but I don’t know.” For the color of the other vehicle, he wrote “faun.” The address of the other driver? “The forests of illinois.” I’ve investigated everything from auto accidents to homicides, but I will always remember that guy. He was being serious, too. We should nominate him to be the next Informer of Deer.
Which suburb of Chicago are u talking about? I live in Chicago so I'm curious as to which suburb this is because depending on which one this story may or may not be surprising
I played this story for my in laws, kids, and husband after dinner together around the fire last night. I've NEVER seen my father-in-law laugh as hard as he did last night hearing each twist of this story. Wonderful storytelling.
If I was a famous producer, director, whatever, I'd be jotting down a bunch of MrB's stories to pitch to my 'friends' in an effort to drum up cash to turn a lot of these into films, funny and otherwise. Hell, letting them hear Ballen tell the stories would probably hook most of them right there!
It's funny that it took place, at the start, before the United States. You rarely hear stories about aristocrat life back then! Shudder to think if he became a founding father. What a pickle for the knowing one that would be...
I know I cracked up laughing so hard I fell off my bed I was like this mofo is really just a complete smart ass like who tells everyone my wife is dead and as she walks by nah that's not her she's just a ghost
Nah, he was just extremely LUCKY...The New Castle strike ended immediately after all of Timothy's coal had all sold...The foreman lied saying it cost HALF of the cost they could mine it, and that he had sent 2 more ships FULL of it. It scared the miners back down in the mine.
Yeah that tells me he atleast understood people couldn’t understand his writing and so had someone else write that line and even so, how its written doesnt sound like a person who is really this dumb. Guess the world will never know lol
I was 50/50 on this man at first, they're all claiming he's dumb, but tht last line filled in the picture. Not only was he brilliant, he was so brilliant he made basically his community think he was dumb.. and he literally played em all like a 🎻 fiddle 🎻. Definitely one of the funniest Ballen stories I've heard 👍
That’s funny. I found someone had criticized someone’s comment so I typed out several punctuations and told him to insert them where he felt they were needed. Comment sections are no place for grammar Nazis. Even email is very informal.
He decided he didn’t really like his wife anymore & started to just tell people she was dead 😂😂😂 and they just went along with it and viewed her as a ghost 🤣 Somebody needs to make that mans life into a movie. Unbelievable & hilarious.
We don’t even know if that happened for sure. Nevertheless, it was a different time, he died over 200 years ago. Don’t need to go full woke on him. Doesn’t make it right, but that’s how things happened back then.
I love how he just loaded a bunch of random stuff onto ships and sent them to the caribbean and people were like 'Whatever is on this boat, I am gonna buy it and use the hell out of it'
“Go ahead and sprinkle these as you see fit“ is the best FU to bullies I’ve ever heard of. No one was hurt by that and he got his point across clearly 🥺
Right? like I’m curious if he was able to piece together that everyone was actually mocking his book himself, or if like a friend of his told him they were & then he did that as an intentional “middle finger” or an “FU” to everyone, or if because of his illiteracy & all that did he actually consider it as legit constructive criticism so he happily added that page not knowing any better lol, either way I’m glad shit kept working out for him tho
I bet if Timothy was elected as president, he would make it work somehow. He's just so insanely lucky that anything he does works out for him in the end.
Thats the most unbelievable story ive ever heard. How da hell do u continuously keep getting rich on accident? And u cant read or write? And everyone hates you? AMAZING!!!
Probably was the luckiest man back then xD If I was alive when he was I'd be his friend just cuz of how bizarre and hilarious he was lol That part about his wife being a ghost got me good 🤣
I wonder if this guys life is the inspiration of one quite famous story from Andersen (Denmark, the guy that wrote "The Little Mermaid"): Lille Claus og Store Claus (The small Claus and the Big Claus). BTW, a gruesome story, as all stories at the time, but quite funny too.
I have a lot more respect for a person who wants to work hard and succeed, even if he's not the smartest, than the supposedly smart people who think it's funny to humiliate him.
This is the karma of the people trying to humiliate him. He ended up getting the better end of every deal. I absolutely love it. His wife kinda got her dues though "nah, she's a ghost"
I haven’t listened to this story since it was posted 3 years ago. It’s the most hilarious story in the Mr. Ballen catalog!. The “good luck” of an uneducated man with a childish understanding of the world in the face of the educated wealthy who repeatedly try to make him fail is so hilarious!
@@robojelico Sigh. Stop it. The whole thing happened over 200 years ago and sharing you’re personal history and triggers here doesn’t improve anything for anyone.
I Absolutely Love It When Someone Tries Their Very Hardest to Harm Someone else out of Ignorance and then it Turns Into A Complete And Utter Blessing!!! I Love That!!!
The title of his book, to me, seems as if he was giving specific homage to the "smart" people who helped him amass his fortune. That was my first thought, or maybe, depending on how pickles were portrayed in the time, giving an F-you to them. This was the best, most hilarious story.
@@W_Westbrook - yeah, not a fan of people who shoot at someone or beat them when they're mad. At least he saved a ton of cats from being euthanized. The other stuff is pretty darned funny.
Thats so funny. I was telling my husband about this story and how they should make a movie about him and he said "They already did. Its called Forest Gump." So there you go. Lol.
🤣🤣🤣 He just amazingly falls ass backwards into great luck and good fortune over and over again. Anyone and everyone just happens to critically need the most useless crap anyone could ever ship to a place with absolutely zero requirement for it, and he just manages to be that guy. I'm convinced more and more each day; This world is a video game and someone really shit the bed creating my inane background character life. I could've been this guy 😂
@@UpperDarbyDetailing A period in British history before the Victorian era. Started in the early 1700s to the the 1830s. It sort of encompasses the style of art, dress and food and dance etc. It was named this because it was during the reign of 4 different King Georges.
For a king, yes. As far as generals go though… I think General Buttnaked wins. Though honorable mentions do go out to General Mosquito and his enemy General Mosquito Spray.
Your bloopers are so funny. The way you laugh at some of the copy cracks me up every time!! You and ol Seagull Lung's ads are nothing short of genius as well. ❤ You've the best John and we love you!❤
Still laughing..!!!! Mr.Ballen you sure made my day..I fell in love with your stories two years ago and now am a Mr.Ballen fan. ..Medical Mysteries is a favorite of mine So Keep up the good work...My very best to you and yours....😅
Lord Timothy Dexter had the most incredibly lucky life. What an amazing story! I looked up information about him. I found pictures of his Massachusetts mansion, his famous people carvings, and I also found his book online! A movie should seriously be made about him. He is a legend! Thanks for sharing a cool story.
@@katiecarlson5192 "Forest Gump" was about a man who was mentally challenged. He went to war, came home, fell in love etc... I guess it could be somewhat like Lord Timothy Dexter.
@@hillofbeans2692 yeah, I'm not saying it was exactly alike or literally based off of his life. Just In the aspect of luck and instant wealth despite being mentally handicapped.
@@katiecarlson5192 Wouldn't it be nice if we were all that lucky? Maybe Lord Dexter's luck came because he wasn't a deep thinker? It's just a fascinating story. It seems a lot of people do a lot of crazy things and end up landing on their feet. We have a friend who we think is kind of nuts, and he has a nice home, cars a pool etc... While we think out everything, he's doing way better than us.
I love this so much. I love how this man just did things, completely innocently, and these people trying to ruin him got foiled over and over due to completely random events.
"A pickle for the knowing ones" honestly sounds like a dig at smart people. 😆 ( I can't even be sure of that, but thinking that does make the title pretty funny) Everyone bought his book ironically..... which again just made Timothy richer. 😂 Lol I love it!
It sounds like an inversion of The Guide for the Perplexed. Quite clever, if it is. However, I cannot bring myself to believe that this chap knew of Moshe ben Maimon. 😅
It’s almost like Timothy caught on that the elites despised him and were trying to mess with him, but he was just too lucky to trip. The ol’ 🖕🏻 to the elites.
You actually paid for a copy? I guess you don't know about the Internet Archive. The second edition is available for free. Oddly, someone has also put up a collection of the images from the book, which are nothing special on their own. ** After a closer look, I see that it's the fourth edition, from 1848.
According to Wikipedia, this seems pretty bad: "Timothy frequently told visitors that his wife (who was actually alive) had died, and that the woman frequenting the building was simply her ghost. In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react, and about 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. When Dexter did not see his wife cry, he revealed the hoax and promptly caned her for not sufficiently mourning his death."
This story is just plain hilarious 🤣 (and the cats were saved :3) I actually also believed the video will be about something like the cat version of the rat king, but still didn't get disappointed - I got what I needed, instead of what I wanted :)
Looks like those aristocrats were well and truly taught a lesson in humility. A lesson they really didn't want to learn, so it had to be reinforced again and again.
This is now one of my top favorite videos and stories. Being a writer, my favorite part is when he ended his second book with a bunch of punctuation and said to sprinkle them about wherever you want. Priceless! Great video!!!
Timmy was basically the most lucky person to ever live. He knew nothing about investing and listened to horrible advice from people he thought were friends, but somehow came out on top. He could have invested in floppy tacos from Taco Bell and came out on top lmao!
Well yes because real authentic tacos are floppy. You're eating that disgusting americanized tacos you only get at fast food joints. Authentic mexican tacos dont come in hard shells bud.
@@bobbygalyon5580 thats kinda like saying pizza sucks because its not how they make it in Italy. Millions of people still love it. Taco bell is the best Mexican place I've eaten at.
There's a similar success story except it's done with horrible medical advice from a dropout computer guy unto everybody that thinks he's looking out for us.
sometimes i look at my life and wonder why my luck has been lvl 1 for 33 years... i feel like i understand now, timothy has sucked so much luck out of the planet that generations after him are still down on their luck.. but he earned it, i love that dude.
1:08 those car dealer ship men at the bottom of the screen.
I don’t see it ! ????
@@DogTown90291 next to his right arm on the bottom of the screen.
I could not find it but then I looked closely and saw it good eye
@@WompWomp10190 thanks
How did you see that
It's nice to hear a story once in awhile where the main character doesn't get stuck in a cave and suffocate or drown. And that it worked out for the cats.
They got a bunch of free meals, and got to bask in beautiful Asiatic sunshine. Indeed. Everyone was a winner.. Except for those nobles.
@@xeddtech and the rats lol
I have to wonder what THAT journey was like. I have enough of a time getting mine to a vet.
Please make more non horror stories please. You are so versatile with your story telling talent.
Best comment
Timothy: "such a tragedy that my wife passed away."
Elizabeth: "stop telling people im dead."
Timothy: "sometimes I can still hear her voice."
LOL LO LOL
Lullz
Best comment
LOL!!!
Maybe he just had a great sense of humor and nobody understood it because he was too ahead of his time.
That punctuation thing at the end was actually a total boss move hahaha. What a gamer.
Hilarious! I'm dying
I agree... that was actually pretty fucking awesome!!
Are you still suffering from small poc?
I was like EPICCCC
And he invented 'stream of consciousness writing' nearly 200 years before Jack Kerouac.
wow Timothy is like the real life version of someone that puts all their skill points into luck. Seriously how lucky can someone get, that is insane.
Yeah, it’s like he’s white and male or something.
@@bd12544 😐🙄
@@bd12544Oh yeah it's so good, I went into the bank the other day and they said my account was empty but I really needed to buy some food because I was so hungry, luckily the bank teller noticed I was white and just started handing me hundred dollar bills, there were too many to count! Dickhead.
Dude I've heard my grandpa say sending coal to Newcastle whenever I asked something dumb because his dad said it or something and this guy happened to send it the same week a complete strike happened which was such a short period the saying was still used after
@@bd12544someone needs to go get lost
This man even made it on Mr ballen without anything tragic happening to him HIS LUCK IS EPIC
Ahahaha! 🤣 Now you're telling me things about this guy that are actually scaring me! How can someone be this fortunate?
his wife tho
@@seleuf Truly ghosted.
Oh man thats true honestly insane he didnt even come close to death like that
Lol
I love how everyone banded together to defeat Timmy but his ignorance prevailed every time.
Kinda like Twitter, huh?
Why doesn't my ignorance ever work out in my favor?
Once, just once is all I ask.
That willful ignorance...🙈🙉🙊
Bro you know that everyone was pissed,like you do all this and every time you try to ruin this man he wins.....knowing how things were back then I'm surprised people weren't thinking this man was being blessed by God or something cause holy hell.
😂 It's sad but so funny the way you put it!
“ Timothy decided he didn’t really like his wife anymore.”
🤣
Fucking beats her... no sh!t hahaha
Wait didnt she originally make him rich😂😂😂😂😂
I wonder if he realized that before or after the cane beating
My name must be timothy.lol
Relatable 😂
I hope this guy’s tomb stone says something like “ he was dumb as a brick, mad as a hatter but luckier than a leprechaun” 😂
😮wow bro. That was creepishly good.
He truly lived a life of “ignorance is bliss”.
I like to imagine God had his back, like thats what happens when you're spiteful to people know? HAHA
Yes, that "willful ignorance." When your ignorance is a choice...🙊🙉🙈
@@JohnDoe-eo1opyessss I believe so I think God had his back because people were cruel and tried to take advantage of him and he got paid back ten or a hundred times
MASSIVELY GIRTHY KOK SEEN POKING THROUGH A TOWEL AT THE COMMUNITY POOL. THE KOK LOOKS LIKE AN ENORMOUS SNAKE WRIGGLING AROUND IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE. SPECTACULARLY HUGE GIRTHY VEINY ERECT KOK
Timothy sounds like he is about average intelligence for 2024
Why is Timothy the most hilarious person on the planet?! 😆 i want a copy of his book
I bet he was a great time to hang out with
@@perryshaffer8358 HE'S STILL MAKING MONEY!
LOL
@@Gixsir unless you're his wife.
I have an original set of the books.
It's on project Gutenberg for free. Complete with the legendary spelling and page of punctuation
The most incredible thing about this whole story is the fact that back then, you could sell an old suit of yours, and make enough money to actually relocate to a whole other town.
Pretty wild to think about indeed.
😂
Even if we could do that now we can't go anywhere. 🤣😪
Well he did say he worked at a leather place making good money..so maybe he custom tailored something with really valuable cloths and craftsmanship.
I thought the same thing, lol.
Just had the same thought. Imagine being able to relocate by selling your best suit.
Timothy just went from poor to extremely rich by doing what he thought was a great deal. Never to expect his "rich friends" to try and ruin him but actually made him richer every time.
I will always view this story as an example of how life can go even when the odds don't add up.
Or a example of the Upper Class trying to screw over someone of Lower-Class and the world handing them L after L after L.
There’s no “dumb luck” like white male dumb luck. Repulsive.
@@malumkishin8608 Or an example of EXTREMELY, unbelievable, and absolute dumb luck. When compared to the thousands and thousands of stories that went the opposite way, his story should serve as a reminder that lottery wins do exist and you shouldn't ever depend on them.
@@malumkishin8608 Bro the reason you view them as up and low class cause of the money they process tell me you know nothing of this world
They wanted to bring him down but not cause he was a " low " class
Bro were not in a hollywood movie.
This guy literally profited off of people who criticized him. What a Goddamn badass
Literally my goal in life
Fact
Who criticized him?
@@UgherzCookies David Paulides
How? What? Lol
Plot twist: Timothy was a super genius who wrote in his own language he developed and was just trolling everyone else
He is just the main character trolling the whole world of NPCs.
Oh shoot
SHOWER THOUGHTS😎😎
nah he was a time traveller. Dont you know that?
we do a little trolling
This is the luckiest man in history. It's like the world just said, "This man, this man right here, is the one."
😂😂😂
No freaking joke I can't believe this is real
Why did I think of him as Forest gump of his day.
Fucking joke
O O
l
Done well, Timothy Dexter’s story would make a fantastic movie.
"Because periodically, Timothy would confuse George Washington's name with Pit, and nobody could tell him otherwise."
This sentence right here
LMAO :)
i laughed out loud when i heard that
@@hunter66630
Me too 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This man used all the luck of future generations. What a legend
Like W.T.F... bahaha this dude is a legend
William Pitt, first earl of chatham. Timothy dexter was illiterate and uneducated, and washington and pitt looked similar, yes im defending the misunderstanding of a dead 18th century ignoramus.
Just the image of Timothy so happy with his new job as the "Informant of deer" brightens my life 😂
I kinda want that job. 🤔
@@macshatchetman13 7-11 has an opening for "produce manager"...
One day he discovered that for the first time, there was a lot of bucks in Moldon
@Sunfeld Jiramhir haha I like thinking that he was an informant for deer police
I'm picturing him as Charlie from Always Sunny in my mind.
When God created Timothy, he put ALL his points into the LUCK skill
Underrated comment
He sure did! Lmfao
Intelligence 3 Charisma 10 luck 10+
yep my names timothy
Lmfao 😂😂😂🤦♂️
The shenanigans the other rich people put Timothy up to were Acme level hilarity.
👍👍🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Right!. That's all I could think of while listening to this.. he is the type of dude to walk over the edge of a cliff and still just keep walking without falling because he didn't look down just believed with all of his will that he could walk on air..
😂 Your comment is Acme level 😂❤
The fact no one has made a movie about this man's life is, in itself, amazing. The title should be, "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones"
Here's an F go ahead and sprinkle it in where you see fit 😂
And sprinkle it you did. 👍
SAME!
It's actually a really great title!
WTF!? Please tell me you’re joking
Timothy dropped the mic like a boss at the end with the punctuation slap.
That he did! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Timothy Dexter, Informer of Deer, is now officially my favorite historical figure. What an absolute legend
He is indeed the historical boss of bosses
This goes to show you can be dumb af and still make it as long as you have confidence and a lot of luck of course.
An absolute madlad, if you will
For real
That’s *Lord* Timothy Dexter to you, peon.
Timothy might be one of the single most amazing men to have ever lived.
It's like Timothy was created with all of the luck in the universe.
All the luck none of the intelligence
@@bitchtarts what do u need smarts, if u have the happies
Forrest Gump??
reminds me of my fallout 4 character with 10 luck 1 intellignece
Right?!?! Somehow even more then Forest Gump.
20 years ago, I investigated an auto accident in the suburbs of Chicago. I asked the driver to complete a written statement form about his crash. For the other driver’s name, he wrote “Bambi but I don’t know.” For the color of the other vehicle, he wrote “faun.” The address of the other driver? “The forests of illinois.” I’ve investigated everything from auto accidents to homicides, but I will always remember that guy. He was being serious, too. We should nominate him to be the next Informer of Deer.
I think this is the funniest thing I've ever read.
That's such a cool experience! Thanks for sharing!👍✌
That’s a cool little story, thank you.
Hilarious!
Which suburb of Chicago are u talking about? I live in Chicago so I'm curious as to which suburb this is because depending on which one this story may or may not be surprising
He was a real life Forrest Gump of his day. I can’t believe no one has made a movie about him.
He's like the Great Grandfather of The Big Fish😅.
Can we get a petition going? I'd pay tickets to see that!
This would be an awesome movie.
I almost wonder if Forrest Gump takes some inspiration from this story
I was thinking the same exact thing!! Totally movie material.
Bro ... This is like the most epic story EVER! Thank you so much for covering it!
I played this story for my in laws, kids, and husband after dinner together around the fire last night. I've NEVER seen my father-in-law laugh as hard as he did last night hearing each twist of this story. Wonderful storytelling.
@@robojelico
If you’re triggered, please take it elsewhere. Nobody here hurt you. Don’t ruin everything with your negativity.
awwwe!! thats the best!!!
This might be the most unbelievable true story I've ever heard.
It's like they were trying to play "stop hitting yourself" with Timothy, but they were playing it with themselves.... and losing.
I can't tell you how much I would pay to get my hands on the original copy of that "Informer of Deer" logbook.
Seriously, this man's life story should be made into a comedy film. I'm crying with laughter!
Forrest Gump
If I was a famous producer, director, whatever, I'd be jotting down a bunch of MrB's stories to pitch to my 'friends' in an effort to drum up cash to turn a lot of these into films, funny and otherwise. Hell, letting them hear Ballen tell the stories would probably hook most of them right there!
It's funny that it took place, at the start, before the United States. You rarely hear stories about aristocrat life back then! Shudder to think if he became a founding father. What a pickle for the knowing one that would be...
Actually its kinda like the Jerk with Steve Martin. That was a great movie and pretty similar. MrBallen good job!!
@@emabeyta1974 I haven't seen that but I do like Steve Martin so I guess I should check it out! Thanks!
"Go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit"
Oh my sides. This man wasn't an idiot.
Yes he was.
Yes he was but The Lord was in this mans corner bro. Hahaha! It's an example of how He protects us. Us being the simple ones
He was a genius
Mr Ballen actually switched the words. The original is 'solt and pepper' not 'sprinkle'.
I know rite. I lulled at that 1
"Go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit." Had me rolling!
I know I cracked up laughing so hard I fell off my bed I was like this mofo is really just a complete smart ass like who tells everyone my wife is dead and as she walks by nah that's not her she's just a ghost
He was trolling at legendary levels😂
Wow, talk about lucky! The bloopers at the end made me laugh out loud!!! You’re amazing John!
Plot twist Timothy was a genius who trolled everyone by thinking he was dumb
Wouldn't that just be amazing!? Seriously. I like to think that was the case 😏
I literally came to the comments to find this comment
😂😂😂😂
Greatest hustler ever!
Nah, he was just extremely LUCKY...The New Castle strike ended immediately after all of Timothy's coal had all sold...The foreman lied saying it cost HALF of the cost they could mine it, and that he had sent 2 more ships FULL of it. It scared the miners back down in the mine.
Gotta love the “go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit” line. Truly, this is the biggest brain play of all time.
Yeah that tells me he atleast understood people couldn’t understand his writing and so had someone else write that line and even so, how its written doesnt sound like a person who is really this dumb. Guess the world will never know lol
I was 50/50 on this man at first, they're all claiming he's dumb, but tht last line filled in the picture. Not only was he brilliant, he was so brilliant he made basically his community think he was dumb.. and he literally played em all like a 🎻 fiddle 🎻. Definitely one of the funniest Ballen stories I've heard 👍
@@peflynn93 He acted repeatedly on bad advice and just happened to get lucky. He didn't play anyone. He's just a wife-beating Forrest Gump.
That’s funny. I found someone had criticized someone’s comment so I typed out several punctuations and told him to insert them where he felt they were needed. Comment sections are no place for grammar Nazis. Even email is very informal.
Timothy Dexter was actually the father of all trolls!
He decided he didn’t really like his wife anymore & started to just tell people she was dead 😂😂😂 and they just went along with it and viewed her as a ghost 🤣
Somebody needs to make that mans life into a movie. Unbelievable & hilarious.
"First I was fake-dead, now YOU be fake-dead!" Hey, he found a way around divorce, if ever there was any! 😃
At first it's hilarious but then imagine being the wife and no one will acknowledge your existence. Next level abuse.
@@movielibrary3608 I've had that, and you just do whatever you want with whoever you want, no consequence! 😅
that movie would suck bc nothing bad ever happened to him.
@@nicholaswroblewski3069 Lolol! That's so true!
I think it's heartwarming how the cats got to start a new and successful life in the caribbean ❤
Timothy was simply meant to be rich regardless of how people felt about him 😂
That man had a dream 💭
@@adomede 😂😂
I'm sad that it took 38 years of my life to hear this wonderful story.
46 years for me lol
Heck I am 61 it's a wonderful story . best part it's true.
I'm 38 too, and I never heard of this, and I made a board game for fun all about eccentric aristocrats before the British Colonies became the U.S.! :P
Same! ☺️
18😅😂
Lord Timothy Dexter Informer of Deer is officially my favorite person in history.
I know, right? What a legend.. In reality he was probably an insufferable dickhead, but it's funny now.
I love and hate that this is probably true.
Litterally is a wife beater
We don’t even know if that happened for sure. Nevertheless, it was a different time, he died over 200 years ago. Don’t need to go full woke on him. Doesn’t make it right, but that’s how things happened back then.
@@andrewolson1664 don't believe in being woke tbh I just don't like wife beaters rest is nuts granted.
RIP to Timothy Dexter he seems like he was a really nice and cool guy just different which I fw 💯💯🙏
I love how he just loaded a bunch of random stuff onto ships and sent them to the caribbean and people were like 'Whatever is on this boat, I am gonna buy it and use the hell out of it'
I'm from the Caribbean
I think that speaks volumes about how resourceful folks from the Caribbean are!
I love how these unwitting psychics called all these incredible investments and yet they didn't profit AT ALL.
Well he only sent cats to the Caribbean, did you even listen to it?
@@danielstaab1267 And warming pans.
This story was so delightful, I had to listen to it again immediately. 😂 I totally lost it when even the feral cats worked out. 😂😂😂
never underestimate the power of a man who has GOD on his side.
I know, I thought for sure since now he wasn’t getting “advice” it would stop working out
“Go ahead and sprinkle these as you see fit“ is the best FU to bullies I’ve ever heard of. No one was hurt by that and he got his point across clearly 🥺
I agree that is the way that Timothy to flip them off
Right? like I’m curious if he was able to piece together that everyone was actually mocking his book himself, or if like a friend of his told him they were & then he did that as an intentional “middle finger” or an “FU” to everyone, or if because of his illiteracy & all that did he actually consider it as legit constructive criticism so he happily added that page not knowing any better lol, either way I’m glad shit kept working out for him tho
i think im going to use that line the next time i hear from the punctuation police
No one was hurt except the wife he beat with his cane 😂
did u forget the part he beat his wife with a cane?
I love these lighthearted videos. We need more of these to cleanse our palettes of the depressing stuff once in a while.
I love this guy he couldn't lose money and convinced everyone that his wife was a ghost. I want a movie!!!!!
seriously there has got to be a movie about this
Right! The ultimate silent treatment.
Staring Ryan Reynolds
Christopher Walker would be a better casting choice.
@@Cyanidesin Walken is way older than this guy lived to be so....nope
You can't fight fate, he was just destined to be rich
Timothy was ahead of his time. He is the type of guy who would have made a killing in cryptocurrency.
I bet if Timothy was elected as president, he would make it work somehow. He's just so insanely lucky that anything he does works out for him in the end.
Hes the type of guy who would have went all in on Dogecoin in 2014 and made 10,000% gains
He reminded me of Forest Gump.
Honestly though
@@mask938 lol
YESSSS!!!!! Bloopers!!! I always wait until the very end for bloopers & this one has been the very best! Thank you! 🎉❤
Thats the most unbelievable story ive ever heard. How da hell do u continuously keep getting rich on accident? And u cant read or write? And everyone hates you? AMAZING!!!
God liked him and sent him lots of angels to help
And their anger and resentment only fueled and advanced his wealth
@@marymorningstar4508 are u sure? Bcz how do u get away with beating your wife with a cane? Im pretty sure back then they didn't hold back
@@bt7594 talk about all the stars and planets and quasars aligning smh. That math is beyond regular understanding lol
Reminds me of Kramer
"No job, Falls ass backwards into money, has sex without a relationship..."
😆😆
Timothy has to be the luckiest man alive.... Hes a perfect example of "sheer dumb luck"
Deer dumb luck.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist lel
Well, no, cuz he is dead. Like more then 100 years.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist 🤣🤣🤣
Love beats fear, God beats the devil, and the good will prevail.
This is hilarious. He's like a 1700's Forest Gump with a little bit of a trolling side to him 😂
just so you know, i totally respect your autoritah! :)
* abusive
America's first troll lol!
Um, he wasn’t trolling. This was the real him
I thought Forest Gump too. But I added in a reference to Charlie Gordon (Flowers for Algernon) because he reminds me a bit of that too.
This is my favorite, by far. Uplifting and funny. Thank you! I just wish I had a little bit of Timothy's good fortune 😁
I used to be a fan but while listening to this masterpiece I am a whole air conditioner now
LOL
Lmao
🤣
....that’s pwetty cool bwo
If you're a whole air conditioner I wonder if I can become a half air conditioner🤔🤣
This guy sounds like the luckiest man that ever lived
Probably was the luckiest man back then xD
If I was alive when he was I'd be his friend just cuz of how bizarre and hilarious he was lol
That part about his wife being a ghost got me good 🤣
@@whysoserious4274 I’d have totally befriended Timothy, he sounded hilarious
I wonder if this guys life is the inspiration of one quite famous story from Andersen (Denmark, the guy that wrote "The Little Mermaid"): Lille Claus og Store Claus (The small Claus and the Big Claus).
BTW, a gruesome story, as all stories at the time, but quite funny too.
Nope. Theres a guy who survived jumping on a grenade in world war 2 at 16 years old and years later his parachute didnt open and he lived.
I'm Done and when he faked his funeral, I had to pull over my car from laughing too hard.
I have a lot more respect for a person who wants to work hard and succeed, even if he's not the smartest, than the supposedly smart people who think it's funny to humiliate him.
That’s The Real Lesson Here. Most Humble Comment. ΑΩ
This is the karma of the people trying to humiliate him. He ended up getting the better end of every deal. I absolutely love it. His wife kinda got her dues though "nah, she's a ghost"
I haven’t listened to this story since it was posted 3 years ago. It’s the most hilarious story in the Mr. Ballen catalog!. The “good luck” of an uneducated man with a childish understanding of the world in the face of the educated wealthy who repeatedly try to make him fail is so hilarious!
This made my day. I love how they tried to ruin him and it totally backfired. He must have been the luckiest guy ever!!!
Too bad his wife had no luck, being physically abused and then forced to live as a ghost.
@@robojelico
Sigh. Stop it. The whole thing happened over 200 years ago and sharing you’re personal history and triggers here doesn’t improve anything for anyone.
@@robojelico pretty sally wally to bitch and moan about something like that
@@totallyfrozen he legit pointed out a fact that's in the video how is that sharing personal information or triggers lmao
@@totallyfrozen
I mean he did beat his wife, I wanna assume that he didn't do that often and did it as a joke, but regardless he was kinda abusive.
I genuinely thought this video was going to be about a stray cat who was king of all cats.
Same
Same 😂
ME TOOO 😂😂😂
I liked this, but I'd have LOVED that.
Same
One of my favorite disclaimers MrBallen does is “no matter how absurd this story gets, remember it’s true”. You know it’s gonna be pure gold lol
I Absolutely Love It When Someone Tries Their Very Hardest to Harm Someone else out of Ignorance and then it Turns Into A Complete And Utter Blessing!!! I Love That!!!
I feel like timothy was low key smart. Right there at the end gave everybody a big fk you! "Go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit." Hilarious!
Timothy: this year i lost my wife
His wife: quit telling everyone I'm dead!
Timothy: sometimes I can still hear her voice
sam o’nella has made a video about this
@@Xavier_Renegade_Angel sam o'nella
@@josebatxu32
😉
Lmaooo 😂😂😂
imagine him saying this with a british accent
This is a PERFECT example of “The Law of Mind”. His success was born from believing. Therefore he was.
His success was built out of luck. Let’s not delude ourselves into thinking Timothy earned any of his money from sheer intelligence or hard work.
aka he manifested his success
And your post one of "The Law of Wishful Thinking"
Yeah he made it ,one out of countless who tried.He is not an example of anything other than extreme luck.
The title of his book, to me, seems as if he was giving specific homage to the "smart" people who helped him amass his fortune. That was my first thought, or maybe, depending on how pickles were portrayed in the time, giving an F-you to them.
This was the best, most hilarious story.
The funniest part of this is the fact that he told everyone his wife was a ghost and they just accepted it😂
Lol my parents when guests are over.
Hahaha this is a great series hope he makes more
He literally phased her out of reality while being alive 😂😂
😂😂😂
Literally the entire time I watched this video I was laughing my ass off. Fcking hilarious!!! 😂😂🤣🤣
I can only imagine these aristocrats getting mad and grumbling like a Loony Toons character when Timothy kept succeeding lol
this whole thing was like a looney toon episode LOL
Yosemite Sam stomping his hat
@@joeb9645 🤣😂😂
I love the scary freak content, but this has got to be my favorite MrBallen episode. Timothy is a damn legend.
But he’s also a horrible person
@@W_Westbrook - yeah, not a fan of people who shoot at someone or beat them when they're mad. At least he saved a ton of cats from being euthanized. The other stuff is pretty darned funny.
Absolutely hilarious upload and the most amazing man. Hahahahha. Thank you so much Mr Ballen. And LOVE your out-takes you always include! :D
I love this story he's like the Forrest Gump of Georgian times.
Thats so funny. I was telling my husband about this story and how they should make a movie about him and he said "They already did. Its called Forest Gump." So there you go. Lol.
What are Georgian times?
🤣🤣🤣 He just amazingly falls ass backwards into great luck and good fortune over and over again. Anyone and everyone just happens to critically need the most useless crap anyone could ever ship to a place with absolutely zero requirement for it, and he just manages to be that guy. I'm convinced more and more each day; This world is a video game and someone really shit the bed creating my inane background character life. I could've been this guy 😂
@@UpperDarbyDetailing A period in British history before the Victorian era. Started in the early 1700s to the the 1830s. It sort of encompasses the style of art, dress and food and dance etc. It was named this because it was during the reign of 4 different King Georges.
Yes!
Ok this is probably the coolest name for a king
Hello jason ive never heard of u so if ur vids are good ill sub and watch more of ur vids
For a king, yes. As far as generals go though… I think General Buttnaked wins. Though honorable mentions do go out to General Mosquito and his enemy General Mosquito Spray.
@@waitwhat1029 yes
It really is.
Sounds like a title for a Jazz musician. like Miles Davis or Buddy Rich... 😊
The morale of this story: If you keep a positive mindset…your haters will never bring you down!
I disliked this to keep it at 69...but wanted to give you a thumb
well 69 is gone so thumbs up
The morale of this story is quite high
All day PMA!
also, ignorance is bliss
Your bloopers are so funny. The way you laugh at some of the copy cracks me up every time!! You and ol Seagull Lung's ads are nothing short of genius as well.
❤ You've the best John and we love you!❤
A 2nd grade drop out who can't read, write, or think critically is literally all we elect nowadays. He was just ahead of his time.
Lmao! Yes
Very well said
Facts:0
right now its an old man with dementia that gets "knocked down by wind"
😂😂😂😂
I had a proud mom moment the other night when I overheard my daughter listening to you. I hadn't even told her about you, she just found you herself.
Hell yea! My life is complete now that I have Mr Ballens heart! 😂
@@blanning2058 you should go after his skin next.. that’s a lofty goal for a budding fan gurl 😬
this is wholesome
That's when you know you've parented correctly
I found out my son watches him too. I’ve never been more proud.
“Some people can fall into shit, and come out smelling like a rose”
This phrase summed up his whole life 🤣
@@JoJo-dv1rz yes indeed.
I believe the saying states, " Fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like roses." 😉🙃
That’s so right
Too true.. too true..
Still laughing..!!!! Mr.Ballen you sure made my day..I fell in love with your stories two years ago and now am a Mr.Ballen fan. ..Medical Mysteries is a favorite of mine So Keep up the good work...My very best to you and yours....😅
I vote "The Stray Cat King" too. That was great of him to give all those poor stray cats jobs.
😂😂😂
Motivational speakers: "You don't get lucky to get rich, you have to grind"
Timotty:" hold my beer"
*hold my deer
Lord Timothy Dexter had the most incredibly lucky life. What an amazing story! I looked up information about him. I found pictures of his Massachusetts mansion, his famous people carvings, and I also found his book online! A movie should seriously be made about him. He is a legend! Thanks for sharing a cool story.
I feel like there is a movie made about him. At least it is so close it could be based off him. "Forest Gump" Or am I alone in this comparison?
@@katiecarlson5192 "Forest Gump" was about a man who was mentally challenged. He went to war, came home, fell in love etc... I guess it could be somewhat like Lord Timothy Dexter.
@@hillofbeans2692 yeah, I'm not saying it was exactly alike or literally based off of his life.
Just In the aspect of luck and instant wealth despite being mentally handicapped.
@@katiecarlson5192 Wouldn't it be nice if we were all that lucky? Maybe Lord Dexter's luck came because he wasn't a deep thinker? It's just a fascinating story. It seems a lot of people do a lot of crazy things and end up landing on their feet. We have a friend who we think is kind of nuts, and he has a nice home, cars a pool etc... While we think out everything, he's doing way better than us.
I love this so much. I love how this man just did things, completely innocently, and these people trying to ruin him got foiled over and over due to completely random events.
"and so the logbook was thrown away"
what a shame. future generations wont know the power this man held!
"A pickle for the knowing ones" honestly sounds like a dig at smart people. 😆
( I can't even be sure of that,
but thinking that does make the title pretty funny)
Everyone bought his book ironically..... which again just made Timothy richer. 😂
Lol I love it!
It sounds like an inversion of The Guide for the Perplexed. Quite clever, if it is. However, I cannot bring myself to believe that this chap knew of Moshe ben Maimon. 😅
It’s almost like Timothy caught on that the elites despised him and were trying to mess with him, but he was just too lucky to trip.
The ol’ 🖕🏻 to the elites.
Timothy was definitely blessed with the Midas touch. Note: I just purchased the book on Amazon. It's a must have.
You actually paid for a copy? I guess you don't know about the Internet Archive. The second edition is available for free. Oddly, someone has also put up a collection of the images from the book, which are nothing special on their own.
** After a closer look, I see that it's the fourth edition, from 1848.
I just discovered him too. The way he writes phonetically is actually ingenious knowing it's not faked. True Avant Garde poetry.
@@TheEudaemonicPlague it probly makes a nice conversation piece and I doubt it was all that much.. I'd rather read a hard copy as well .
This is one of my favourite MrBallen stories and it has to be the most hilarious one!
This man made it onto a MrBallen video without anything bad happening. Now that is pure luck!
Apparently that's what Timothy is made of
Should of know from the change in music huh 😂
According to Wikipedia, this seems pretty bad: "Timothy frequently told visitors that his wife (who was actually alive) had died, and that the woman frequenting the building was simply her ghost. In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react, and about 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. When Dexter did not see his wife cry, he revealed the hoax and promptly caned her for not sufficiently mourning his death."
holy shit, your right!
He died! Twice!
This man is the Forrest Gump of the 18th Century.
That's a perfect comparison! 😂
Yes
Just what I was thinking!
I was gonna make the exact same comment! 😆 Lol
This is 100% accurate 😂
This man should be in movies and shows. Truly, his story begs to be made, with a birtish cast.
Thats how Johnny Knoxville started out.
*British cats
You never watched Forest Gump?
***British CAST
I can play him. I’m british and look similar.
This story is just plain hilarious 🤣 (and the cats were saved :3) I actually also believed the video will be about something like the cat version of the rat king, but still didn't get disappointed - I got what I needed, instead of what I wanted :)
Looks like those aristocrats were well and truly taught a lesson in humility. A lesson they really didn't want to learn, so it had to be reinforced again and again.
The wisdoms, of Thales the Ionian.
This reminds me of some of the Texas oil men.
This is now one of my top favorite videos and stories. Being a writer, my favorite part is when he ended his second book with a bunch of punctuation and said to sprinkle them about wherever you want. Priceless! Great video!!!
The original shit poster
@@lwilso9152 SAMmonellA
This is a story that I love watching again and again ❤😂
I used to write as well. I love that he says, "sprinkle them in as *you see fit*." Almost as funny as his book title! 😂
I lost it when they looked at his "informer of deer" logs and they were just drawings of deer and gibberish XD
Charlie Day all the way
😂😂😂
It was the ghosts of deer that had been there 100s of years ago🧐
or telling everyone his wife died but when they saw her walking about he told them she was a ghost
@@MrRedberd and now I'm going to rage until someone casts him in a mini series about Timothy.
I love this story. I would like to hear more of these light-hearted strange stories.
It was dark A F.
White men S U C K.
Timmy was basically the most lucky person to ever live. He knew nothing about investing and listened to horrible advice from people he thought were friends, but somehow came out on top. He could have invested in floppy tacos from Taco Bell and came out on top lmao!
Well yes because real authentic tacos are floppy. You're eating that disgusting americanized tacos you only get at fast food joints. Authentic mexican tacos dont come in hard shells bud.
@@bobbygalyon5580 hard shell tacos are not exclusive to fast food restaurants
@@bobbygalyon5580 thats kinda like saying pizza sucks because its not how they make it in Italy. Millions of people still love it. Taco bell is the best Mexican place I've eaten at.
It's called Karma.
There's a similar success story except it's done with horrible medical advice from a dropout computer guy unto everybody that thinks he's looking out for us.
sometimes i look at my life and wonder why my luck has been lvl 1 for 33 years... i feel like i understand now, timothy has sucked so much luck out of the planet that generations after him are still down on their luck.. but he earned it, i love that dude.
How this is not a movie... his life would make a great comedy/drama
I know right??
Will Ferrell was born for this role
@@myibook141 big red from pinnapple express also
A bit of Forrest Gump
Just said that before I saw this.😅