Well done coming second place with your first audition. If you don't make the world stage performing to rich ponces, I'm certain, their will be plenty highschool and collage students that love and appreciate your art and hard work. I auditioned for Peter pan and got the crocodile in my career of acting, so I never auditioned again.. a girl got Peter? I only got one song to sing on my own, at the time seemed like the world, but I was about 9. When I learned even the teachers in junior school were acting, i thought a career in it was meaningless.. But fun to do on a level, I've read poetry and books of good spirit in nature, and had it's animals jump around the trees around me, I wondered, have you ever tried playing the flute in a meadow or forest to entertain the animals? If not yet, it might warm your heart like no human ear or response can. Not to hype it, but on an empathic level, it's rewarding. If New York or Pennsylvania have wild animals and a fence if your weary of their approach, I'd try it, might make for a good vlog or segment for personal records. Cows and bulls really love song or tune. But that's my main clientele
Yes! Definitely. Very inspiring! I had a bad audition experience once and it took me out of the game for a while, so I definitely related to your honesty time and appreciate your vulnerability. Katie, congrats, and the end was especially uplifting!
You are beautiful, it’s ok to tell your self you are a great, fantastic, wonderful ( what ever word you use ) flute player. Just remember to stay humble, don’t second guess your self and practice, practice, practice. That piece you were playing is beautiful , I enjoyed it . Don’t beat yourself up .
As a serious professional flutist and teacher of 28 years, I’m saying YES, you ARE a legit flutist. You need to start believing it. Use this audition experience to pump you up. It’s OK to go into an audition believing that you are the BEST there. It’s proven, even in athletics, that if you picture yourself as the best and the winner, that it will help you achieve your goal. Blessings to you. Believe in yourself and your fabulous playing!
makeuprevs I agree with your comments. From the start I can hear how hard this audition has affected you. Although I play flute for my own enjoyment, I’ve taught science for 21 years. Learn from the experience. We all grow from our experiences, and we learn more from set backs and failures. Keep an open mindset, and actively listen so you understand from that experience.
@@leosabat4636 I think you meant to say even that a prestigious orchestra can still pay musicians just an ordinary salary because there are so many musicians chasing so few jobs. Is that an accurate summary?
It really helps to know that I'm not the only one who has periods of doubt about their flute abilities and it's good reiteration that what we do doesn't define who we are as a person. I really appreciate that :)
I'm trying to get restarted with learning music (not flute), but I keep running into thoughts like, "I'm too old. I'll never get to a useful skill level. Any talent I might develop will just be obsoleted by technology. My arthritis is going to keep me from getting anywhere."
Imposter syndrome. It’s a common feeling that conscientious people experience: I’m not good enough to be here and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else realizes it...
From a long retired flutist, my “advice” is to practice enjoying playing. Or rather, play for your own interpretive enjoyment as part of your “practice”, which shouldn’t be considered practicing per se. I would think the panel would respond to your inner joy as much as you would. Otherwise, what is the ultimate point of all the dedication and devotion to playing? Being critical is certainly an important aspect of development, however, it doesn’t outweigh the importance of the joy of the music. If there is one perspective I can share from quite a distance of my own life experience, is that if you stopped playing today, and never picked up your flute again, you are a good musician. You are already all the positive aspects that you have difficulty expressing verbally. Just because it is challenging to say it, doesn’t make it any less true. Love yourself. Love your gift. Enjoy your talent. Embrace the joy of music.
This video somehow almost made me cry because I never thought that even good players like you would think this way. It is true that we musicians are so used to comparing ourselves to others and criticizing our playing. I always hated to listen to my own recording but this video made me think in a positive way. Yes, even though I still lack a lot of things, it is true I am constantly developing. Thank you for sharing these topics that's hard to say.
that feeling that you're just lacking is so relatable, for any musician (that feeling when you cracked the first note, that's so relatable omg) I think most of us deal with it frequently and it is very nice from you (a professional) to show that everyone always struggles with playing (or singing, anyways), some times more and some times less. thank you for doing that!!
Wow, it's actually nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes. I'm currently in my 2nd year of my Bachelors in Flute Performance, and to know that even a professional has doubts sometimes, shows that it's completely normal. Congratulations on your audition!
Omg yes the Mendelssohn! So good. My flute professor, who is well over 60, says she still feels nervous and unprepared when doing recitals and things. It’s normal, and nothing to be ashamed about.
My father played 1st flute in a major symphony orchestra for years. I grew up listening to flute music almost 24/7. Anyway, you seem to be doing well. As they say, practice, practice, practice. There' no other way.
I'm 70 years old still get nervous but playing better than ever .. retired from nyc freelancing and after a health scare my desie to play viola violin and piano better and better is still with me .... great to see your dedication to excellence
Thank you for taking us on a professional audition journey. You did a great job of including preparation, doubt and the actual audition process. What makes you a flute hero is that you give yourself the opportunity to push yourself and as seen in this video half the battle is our emotions and dealing with them. Congratulations on a great audition.
23:00 "why is that still so hard to say???" BECAUSE YOU ARE HUMBLE AND HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE. While there will be exceptions to this, every musician I've met who makes it big; top calls, pro orchestra principals, BIGTIME orchestra members, etc. has been shockingly humble and gracious. I have heard "how fortunate" they got more times than I can remember. You were a superfinal on your second(?) pro audition? that's amazing and you should be proud and it's so nice to hear you starting to realize you're legit. we all know how hard it is to start feeling that way. As musicians, we hear ourselves at our absolute worst, nobody else does. And we spend exponentially more time thinking we sound bad than thinking we sound good. But that's just the process. The real indicator of your level is what you're capable of. Not what you sound like after 6 hours in a practice room. Love your attitude, can't wait to see you make it big!
I'm so so glad this turned up in my recommended. This is one of the most inspiring and encouraging and essential videos I've seen in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and all the really authentic and legitimate wisdom that you put into all of this. I appreciate you letting us travel part of your self-worth journey with you like this.
For any performance artist, this video was and is incredibly valuable. I have experienced some of what you shared with us. I know it took courage to record your doubts and struggles, but I do hope more people will watch and be inspired by this video to reach for their own dreams. Thank you so much for sharing.
Please do more of these vlogs! As a pianist who has struggled for so long with self doubt, I am also finally starting to break the negative habits that accompany perfectionism and comparing myself to others. Hearing that you’re in the same boat and continuing to learn as well is inspiring and so helpful. This vlog is definitely something I will be sharing with my students who go through the same things! Keep up the great work and keep being yourself!
I see you were auditioning for York Symphony - my oboe professor is in York Symphony and I grew up near there! Small world! Congratulations on a successful audition process and I love your videos!
This video came up in my suggested at just the right time. I’m a music scholar (I play trumpet) at my school which is a lot of pressure as I’m kind of expected to be amazing and I’ve been having a hard time recently with comparing myself to other players and I’ve definitely been doubting my ability. It’s so comforting to know that even professionals feel like this too :)
Nice to see human emotional process that is usually hidden away in frustration. It helps other people to go through lows in learning and improvement process. Thanks!
This video really helped my anxiety wow. I just had an audition for honor band and a girl who I play with at school got first chair top band while I barely made the second band. I know it’s a big accomplishment for me but I feel so down. I know she deserved her spot (she practiced and prepared so much I’m so happy for her) but idk I’ve started to compare myself to her and it’s been hard to try and separate myself and my playing as two entities and tell myself that I still made it and I’m still gonna have a lot of fun. It’s even harder since I’m first chair in my school’s band, which makes me feel like I need to prove myself to everyone that I’m a good player. But this video has just inspired me to practice more and to know that this isn’t the end for me and just because my friend has accomplished more doesn’t mean that I’m somehow lesser so thanks Katie
Music needs to be looked at day by day. If you get too broad, you’ll start to remember all the mistakes you’ve made, or chair placements that weren’t reached and you WILL feel like a bad/inferior player. Take things day by day. Make sure you keep that transparent mindset of knowing your weaknesses, but make sure you CELEBRATE your accomplishments. If all you do is critique yourself, you’ll never balance your mindset, so rejoice when you get a passage nailed, or you do an amazing sfz. The little things matter
emily anne I’ve just started actually, only about over a month. It’s hard but I know if I put enough I’ll get better eventually. That’s so cool that you have played for quite a while.
Thank you so much for making this! I 100% relate to the complicated inner dialogue and never feeling ready to go for something as scary as an audition. It always feels good to know I'm not alone in my constant battle to improve how I feel about myself as a musician.
Girl. I’m so hooked with your TH-cam channel! So relatable. When I was attempting my music ed bachelors this was one of the reasons why I quit. I felt I wasn’t good enough, but it’s all mental! We all have good different skills.
Hi there, Katie ✌🏻 don’t know if you’ll read this but here we go: as many here have agreed, pretty much all you said is relatable. I’m a bass player (though I also play flute) and addressing bass, I used to play without _soul_ or _passion_ throughout my teenage years, I just wanted to display how technical I had become for my young age. And it took me a lot of trial and error to overcome my egoistical way of playing that brought me my good share of frustration whenever technique “failed” me, and realizing being musical is much more than just being technical. As of now, I learned a much more adaptable way of playing, in which I delight on the music I play (or write), and so I want to *SHARE* that same delight with the people that love the same music as I do. It’s not a destination nor a goal, it’s a state of being, in which you also realize that the best preparation for experience *IS* experience itself. Hope this helps, greetings from México 🇲🇽 love your videos, see ya!
Hi Katie! I'm an oboist in my undergrad, and this video was really encouraging! It's great knowing that even professionals deal with self-doubt, especially leading up to auditions. Thank you for a helpful video! ❤️ And congrats on runner-up!
Thank you so much for sharing. I just tried for my 3rd Professional Violin orchestral audition today and didn’t make it.. I was feeling down and hearing your experiences helped me to feel not alone!
Prelude afternoon of a Faun. In my senior year of high school, 5 minutes before the concert I was asked to perform the clarinet solo. My music teachers all throughout my early childhood through to senior all gave me many challenges. Auditioned for all district band in the community in Pennsylvania, in Bucks County. I always wanted to peruse a degree in music however it was not meant to be. As long as you are passionate, please don't give up. I can no longer play due to major INJURY of my right hand which required me to have multiple surgeries. I miss playing very much.
Maybe pick up an instrument that you can play with the left hand? If you don't mind brass instrument, the trumpet is a good one. Depending on whether you still have some mobility with the right hand, the french horn can be really good.
I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you for this video! I was feeling completely hopeless while practicing and this video saved me. To know that even accomplished musicians like you go through this is such an inspiration!
I don't know you but just watching this process makes me so proud of you. I do play the flute in community groups and I think I am pretty good at that level and just love it.
Just saw this. As a serious, dedicated amateur (horn) for 30 years, I can definitely agree with you on the nerves as well as the self-talk. Thanks for putting this out there.
I really appreciate you sharing this, Katie. Being a musician often involves dealing with a roller coaster of emotions and this is often not understood. Your video really helps to show this. Glad the audition went well and keep up the great work! 😃🎶
This was some how very comforting, I’m about to audition for college and as everyone else I’ve been having doubts. It’s nice to know you’re not the only one, and good job on the audition!
Hi Katie. I watched this blog and the one about preparing a Concerto in 7 days. I can't tell you how they have changed my practice. Also the one you did about practice tips. I am auditioning for a local Wind Ensemble that for some reason seems to think it's a professional Orchestra with the audition requirements. LOL I have used so many of your ideas to help me get ready. Especially the slow playing. Thank you for making it okay to play something at a slow speed until you get it. That really resonated with me. I got a music degree in 1984 and although I was a military musician for 11 years I really never did anything with it. In the last two years I have really decided I want to do something. I am now 59 years old and realize that my flute playing time may only be another 20 to 30 years. Which doesn't sound like a bad thing from a young person standpoint but it's a horrible thing for my age lol Anyway this long rambling message just to say thank you keep doing more of showing us how you prepare for things, how you practiced, things you learned at Juilliard and of course things you are feeling in learning. Anyone that doesn't like to hear about your life doesn't have to watch the videos. I for one love to see all the different things that you do is a Gal about town,
I feel you, I’m a violinist and play at my college orchestra. I feel your frustration, even tho I’m not a professional as a violinist, yet I want to get to a higher level.
congrats!!! i'm a cellist and i also have all-state auditions in less than a month, like some of the other commenters (i didn't think i would get that far either!) and it's great to see you go through the process and put the entire thing in mind's eye
I truly have no words. I am in music school and am constantly stuck in that negative mindset and struggling with everything you described. I have failed at so many auditions and have not yet gotten my moment, and it is so easy to fall into that mindset where you are self-critical and constantly comparing yourself to others. I am constantly having to remind myself that my worth and value is found in Christ and not someone's opinion or preference when it comes to auditions and performances. It is still really hard though and I get frustrated and emotional quite often with what I feel to be lacking in my playing. I usually don't comment on these videos, but I related so much to it that I had to let you know that you're not alone and that this really inspired me to keep pressing on.
Hi Katie, I just wanted to say that you inspire me so much and I'm sure others can relate to what I'm saying. Thanks to your inspiration I have worked harder on my flute playing and I have discovered that I love the flute so I just wanted to thank you for that and hopefully you will see this. Keep doing what u love no matter what
Congratulations, Katie! You did brilliantly, and you're attitude is great - treating auditions as a learning process is so good, just keep flying through til you get the perfect job :))
Yeah Katie! We are so proud of you for getting out there 😁 Going through with the audition is a reward in itself. Keep it up girl! ❤️ From a fellow flutist
Thank you for sharing this video! Hopefully one day these feelings almost every musician has will be more acceptable to talk about. When a musician says they feel they aren't "good enough" the other musician is always like "Hey, me too!!!" It really should be talked about more.. Thanks for getting it started!
Stop being so hard on ya self girl. You play beautifully. Enjoy what ya do, and stop living up to the expectation of others. Just enjoy playing music for you, not anyone else. 🎵😘😂💖🎵🎵
Your statements about self doubt are universal. My feelings of self doubt led me out of pursuing a music degree and opting for a more conventional life as a speech/language pathologist, now retired. Now 40 years later my heart is still to play my flute and I have abandoned my profession with glee. Wish I was able to take lessons again.
Just to let you know, I am completely here with you. Every time I watch your videos I can relate to almost everything you say, which makes my life so much easier, so thank you for what you are doing, and keep doing it. I absolutely admire you!!!! I know that you'll always be awesome!!!❤️
I really relate to what you said about never feeling good enough even though you are pretty good. I'm a highschool percussionist who is focused on timpani, but play flute for fun. I auditioned for timpani but didn't make the cutoff. So much practicing for nothing hurts, but I guess I should just stay determined.
I thought the part you talked about stepping outside of the "im-my-flute" zone was very wise. We are not only what we do but precious in our natural self. I have experienced similar moments with the violin when I was younger, and now that I havent played it in a long while, I realize when I take it out, how much of that feeling just comes flying back at me even though Im on a completely different position in my life. This constant self-critique has a huge impact on us and I loved how you kept forcing yourself to tell the truth - you sound beautiful, gracious, elegant, soft, powerful, lovely, sweet, anything you want to achieve really. And its not that you don't "know" it. You know it's true, but you dont feel it, because during practise you dont enjjoy all these qualities. Instead you are focused on te parts that still need improvement. Our brain learns from repeating, right, and we repeat for several hours, that our technique, air or whatever it is for a flutist, isnt good enough... So long story short, thank you for your honest thoughts, I can relate so well to that and I love how you example how to work on a different attitude by just telling yourself the truth from time to time and allow yourself not to feel guilty or braggy, but just happy and proud about what you have accomplished.
omg this video was such an inspirational video! I’ve been feeling the same way about my playing because I have an annual audition to try and place in my region band! And i’ve been negative about my playing lately and this showed me I have potential🥰Thanks for the video!!
Kaite, as a guitar player and a singer for many years, I can tell you that the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy playing your instrument. Teaching and judging is a great way to build self-confidence that you are a true professional musician and pass on what you have learned to others. When playing for a selection committee, technical ability, while important, is expected - a block to be checked. What sets you apart from the pack is your approach, manner, expression, and most importantly, your individual interpretation of the music. Studying in depth the individual pieces, who wrote them, understanding what kind of person they were, and channeling that information is truly playing at a grand-master level. Play with feeling and passion, and let your inner flute skills loose. Don't worry about the rest. Check out Cyprien Katsaris "Master Class" videos, or Rick Beato's "What Makes This Song Great" videos. Both are fantastic examples of developing a deeper understanding of music, and how it all works at a higher level. All the best...
That is so true part of gaining more musicality in certain pieces just having a better understanding of the composure the history of the piece and sometimes even just around the point it was written in their life helps so much.
you are the best on playing your flute. I used to play percussion quite a long time so I moved to an Electric Bass. Wishing you the best of luck on your auditions. Keep practicing.
Glad you shared your feelings on not being 'ready', it really resonated. This happens the moment I've put in for an exam - every time I'm 'supposed' to practice the pieces, I seem to be glued to the sofa 'worrying' about not practicing instead of actually just doing it! If I haven't put in for the exam yet, then fine, I practice them no problem and I'm really motivated. The moment they are 'exam pieces' and I've applied, I'm done for and the whole feel of them changes haha. I play viola and piano but not at a high level. I'd love to join an amateur orchestra one day. Great vlog
I loved seeing your journey preparing for this audition! I actually live in York and my boyfriend took an audition for the same orchestra two years ago (and he also got runner up)!
I have an honor band audition December 7th!! And i have been feeling discourage about my playing but I am slowly getting confidence again 😁😁 Edit•my audition is tomorrow 😬😬 Another edit•I made 5th chair in symphonic band :)
You’re awesome for being so raw and vulnerable!! So inspiring for a lot of aspiring musicians to see the real behind the scenes that we all go through ❤️
Realest video I think I’ve ever watched. Bravo for your transparency, I can relate and this was so helpful to me. As for your playing, I dream of getting to your level.
I feel ya girl. I spent a ton of time rehearsing for an honor band audition (which paid off because I was 3rd chair out of 43 flutes) and now I have 1 week to practice for another audition and then a 1 month turnaround to prepare for All State
Thankyou so much for this video, Katie ❤️ I’m a saxophonist changing degrees to finally pursue music and my auditions for music university start in two days. Literally want to puke every other moment from nerves but this has really helped ❤️
Great video. Doesn’t seem to matter age or talent- we all have insecurities with our own talents. This video just reveals what a multi layered person you are Great job!!!
I related SO HARD to this until you said that you got through to the next round haha! But seriously, I'm so glad you made this video, it's so good to know that I'm not the only one who goes through this every time I audition for an orchestra.
Like this comment if you want me to upload more vlogs 💖
Well done coming second place with your first audition. If you don't make the world stage performing to rich ponces, I'm certain, their will be plenty highschool and collage students that love and appreciate your art and hard work. I auditioned for Peter pan and got the crocodile in my career of acting, so I never auditioned again.. a girl got Peter? I only got one song to sing on my own, at the time seemed like the world, but I was about 9. When I learned even the teachers in junior school were acting, i thought a career in it was meaningless.. But fun to do on a level, I've read poetry and books of good spirit in nature, and had it's animals jump around the trees around me, I wondered, have you ever tried playing the flute in a meadow or forest to entertain the animals? If not yet, it might warm your heart like no human ear or response can. Not to hype it, but on an empathic level, it's rewarding. If New York or Pennsylvania have wild animals and a fence if your weary of their approach, I'd try it, might make for a good vlog or segment for personal records. Cows and bulls really love song or tune. But that's my main clientele
Hi, sorry this isn’t about your video but your tounging is really clear and mine sounds really cloudy so do you have any advice on that.
Yes! Definitely. Very inspiring! I had a bad audition experience once and it took me out of the game for a while, so I definitely related to your honesty time and appreciate your vulnerability. Katie, congrats, and the end was especially uplifting!
Where are you in Pennsylvania? I'm from Philly.
You are beautiful, it’s ok to tell your self you are a great, fantastic, wonderful ( what ever word you use ) flute player. Just remember to stay humble, don’t second guess your self and practice, practice, practice. That piece you were playing is beautiful , I enjoyed it . Don’t beat yourself up .
As a serious professional flutist and teacher of 28 years, I’m saying YES, you ARE a legit flutist. You need to start believing it. Use this audition experience to pump you up. It’s OK to go into an audition believing that you are the BEST there. It’s proven, even in athletics, that if you picture yourself as the best and the winner, that it will help you achieve your goal. Blessings to you. Believe in yourself and your fabulous playing!
makeuprevs I agree with your comments. From the start I can hear how hard this audition has affected you. Although I play flute for my own enjoyment, I’ve taught science for 21 years. Learn from the experience. We all grow from our experiences, and we learn more from set backs and failures. Keep an open mindset, and actively listen so you understand from that experience.
So perfectly stated. Thank you for writing this.
Alternate title: There are a *lot* of fabulous musicians out there, and not a lot of orchestra jobs.
the main orchestra in my country the one with the nation name in it have average paid that would said alot
@@leosabat4636 what?
@@leosabat4636 huh?
@@leosabat4636 I think you meant to say even that a prestigious orchestra can still pay musicians just an ordinary salary because there are so many musicians chasing so few jobs. Is that an accurate summary?
@@JohnathanWhitehorn My son plays in the Pittsburgh Symphony. They (and all prestigious orchestras) pay well; It's not an ordinary salary.
The only thing worse than 20 flutes playing their own thing at the same time is 20 piccolos playing their own thing at the same time
Lol in college marching band we had 40 piccs that all warmed up in the same tiny room. It was an experience.
It appears you have never heard a mere 2 banjos at the same time.
Or two bagpipers...
@@hummingbird2536 or one :)
Try an elementary school classroom full of soprano recorders. Like an angry beehive.
It really helps to know that I'm not the only one who has periods of doubt about their flute abilities and it's good reiteration that what we do doesn't define who we are as a person. I really appreciate that :)
Yes you totally aren't the only one! Glad you could relate :) 💖
I'm trying to get restarted with learning music (not flute), but I keep running into thoughts like, "I'm too old. I'll never get to a useful skill level. Any talent I might develop will just be obsoleted by technology. My arthritis is going to keep me from getting anywhere."
@@WytcherNytes Hope you've moved over to recorders. They overcome all those issues!
Imposter syndrome. It’s a common feeling that conscientious people experience: I’m not good enough to be here and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else realizes it...
what we do doesn't define us? are you insane?
From a long retired flutist, my “advice” is to practice enjoying playing. Or rather, play for your own interpretive enjoyment as part of your “practice”, which shouldn’t be considered practicing per se. I would think the panel would respond to your inner joy as much as you would. Otherwise, what is the ultimate point of all the dedication and devotion to playing? Being critical is certainly an important aspect of development, however, it doesn’t outweigh the importance of the joy of the music. If there is one perspective I can share from quite a distance of my own life experience, is that if you stopped playing today, and never picked up your flute again, you are a good musician. You are already all the positive aspects that you have difficulty expressing verbally. Just because it is challenging to say it, doesn’t make it any less true. Love yourself. Love your gift. Enjoy your talent. Embrace the joy of music.
Yup, if you feel great and feel the joy of music when you are playing then this has to come through in the sound and the performance.
Very well said. Every musician needs to remember this.
Sometimes that is the thing that makes the difference...emotion = musicality
Love that pfp. While jazz isn't my favourite type of music, Claude Bolling and Jean-Pierre Rampal nailed it!
Hey Katie, it turns out that my new flute professor- Jenny Davis- went to school with you! So hello from her and congrats on such a great audition!
This video somehow almost made me cry because I never thought that even good players like you would think this way. It is true that we musicians are so used to comparing ourselves to others and criticizing our playing. I always hated to listen to my own recording but this video made me think in a positive way. Yes, even though I still lack a lot of things, it is true I am constantly developing. Thank you for sharing these topics that's hard to say.
This sort of thing is really good for young musicians to see
bro the face she made when she cracked that first note has been my face every time i play anything for the last week. very relatable.
that feeling that you're just lacking is so relatable, for any musician (that feeling when you cracked the first note, that's so relatable omg)
I think most of us deal with it frequently and it is very nice from you (a professional) to show that everyone always struggles with playing (or singing, anyways), some times more and some times less. thank you for doing that!!
Wow, it's actually nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes. I'm currently in my 2nd year of my Bachelors in Flute Performance, and to know that even a professional has doubts sometimes, shows that it's completely normal.
Congratulations on your audition!
Omg yes the Mendelssohn! So good. My flute professor, who is well over 60, says she still feels nervous and unprepared when doing recitals and things. It’s normal, and nothing to be ashamed about.
My father played 1st flute in a major symphony orchestra for years. I grew up listening to flute music almost 24/7. Anyway, you seem to be doing well. As they say, practice, practice, practice. There' no other way.
I'm 70 years old still get nervous but playing better than ever .. retired from nyc freelancing and after a health scare my desie to play viola violin and piano better and better is still with me .... great to see your dedication to excellence
I"m listening to you play and I'm in awe. You're playing is fantastic. Your dynamics, precision, and vibrato are on point!!!
Thank you for taking us on a professional audition journey. You did a great job of including preparation, doubt and the actual audition process. What makes you a flute hero is that you give yourself the opportunity to push yourself and as seen in this video half the battle is our emotions and dealing with them. Congratulations on a great audition.
23:00 "why is that still so hard to say???"
BECAUSE YOU ARE HUMBLE AND HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE. While there will be exceptions to this, every musician I've met who makes it big; top calls, pro orchestra principals, BIGTIME orchestra members, etc. has been shockingly humble and gracious. I have heard "how fortunate" they got more times than I can remember. You were a superfinal on your second(?) pro audition? that's amazing and you should be proud and it's so nice to hear you starting to realize you're legit. we all know how hard it is to start feeling that way. As musicians, we hear ourselves at our absolute worst, nobody else does. And we spend exponentially more time thinking we sound bad than thinking we sound good. But that's just the process. The real indicator of your level is what you're capable of. Not what you sound like after 6 hours in a practice room. Love your attitude, can't wait to see you make it big!
I'm so so glad this turned up in my recommended. This is one of the most inspiring and encouraging and essential videos I've seen in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and all the really authentic and legitimate wisdom that you put into all of this. I appreciate you letting us travel part of your self-worth journey with you like this.
omg group warm-up rooms are the WORST lol
Have faith in yourself. I did two years as a flute performance major. Your playing is amazing. You inspired me to play again.
For any performance artist, this video was and is incredibly valuable. I have experienced some of what you shared with us. I know it took courage to record your doubts and struggles, but I do hope more people will watch and be inspired by this video to reach for their own dreams. Thank you so much for sharing.
Please do more of these vlogs! As a pianist who has struggled for so long with self doubt, I am also finally starting to break the negative habits that accompany perfectionism and comparing myself to others. Hearing that you’re in the same boat and continuing to learn as well is inspiring and so helpful. This vlog is definitely something I will be sharing with my students who go through the same things! Keep up the great work and keep being yourself!
I see you were auditioning for York Symphony - my oboe professor is in York Symphony and I grew up near there! Small world! Congratulations on a successful audition process and I love your videos!
You're not alone!!! French horn player here! The journey is not easy. Thank you for sharing.
Katie, thanks for putting it out there. You are an amazing talent and, apparently, a decent and honest person. Oh yea, and funny as heck!
I'm a string player, but I love your videos so much because of your honesty. Thank you for vlogging this!!
This video came up in my suggested at just the right time. I’m a music scholar (I play trumpet) at my school which is a lot of pressure as I’m kind of expected to be amazing and I’ve been having a hard time recently with comparing myself to other players and I’ve definitely been doubting my ability. It’s so comforting to know that even professionals feel like this too :)
Nice to see human emotional process that is usually hidden away in frustration. It helps other people to go through lows in learning and improvement process. Thanks!
This video really helped my anxiety wow. I just had an audition for honor band and a girl who I play with at school got first chair top band while I barely made the second band. I know it’s a big accomplishment for me but I feel so down. I know she deserved her spot (she practiced and prepared so much I’m so happy for her) but idk I’ve started to compare myself to her and it’s been hard to try and separate myself and my playing as two entities and tell myself that I still made it and I’m still gonna have a lot of fun. It’s even harder since I’m first chair in my school’s band, which makes me feel like I need to prove myself to everyone that I’m a good player. But this video has just inspired me to practice more and to know that this isn’t the end for me and just because my friend has accomplished more doesn’t mean that I’m somehow lesser so thanks Katie
Music needs to be looked at day by day. If you get too broad, you’ll start to remember all the mistakes you’ve made, or chair placements that weren’t reached and you WILL feel like a bad/inferior player. Take things day by day. Make sure you keep that transparent mindset of knowing your weaknesses, but make sure you CELEBRATE your accomplishments. If all you do is critique yourself, you’ll never balance your mindset, so rejoice when you get a passage nailed, or you do an amazing sfz. The little things matter
Your Debussy Pavane is so beautiful!
I play the violin, but I love your flute videos! You're amazing at what you do and your playing is amazing! 10/10 👏
emily anne I play piano and French horn but I just noticed your comment because I’m starting Violin pretty soon! How long have you played for?
I've played violin for 1 year, but I played viola for 5 before that. Hbu?
emily anne I’ve just started actually, only about over a month. It’s hard but I know if I put enough I’ll get better eventually. That’s so cool that you have played for quite a while.
Yup! Perseverance is key. Even though I literally never practice, practicing does help a lot. So don't be like me and never practice 😂😂
emily anne haha will do! I am already pretty good at doing my piano and French horn everyday so hopefully i don’t have problems remembering 😅
Thank you so much for making this! I 100% relate to the complicated inner dialogue and never feeling ready to go for something as scary as an audition. It always feels good to know I'm not alone in my constant battle to improve how I feel about myself as a musician.
Girl. I’m so hooked with your TH-cam channel! So relatable. When I was attempting my music ed bachelors this was one of the reasons why I quit. I felt I wasn’t good enough, but it’s all mental! We all have good different skills.
Hi there, Katie ✌🏻 don’t know if you’ll read this but here we go: as many here have agreed, pretty much all you said is relatable. I’m a bass player (though I also play flute) and addressing bass, I used to play without _soul_ or _passion_ throughout my teenage years, I just wanted to display how technical I had become for my young age. And it took me a lot of trial and error to overcome my egoistical way of playing that brought me my good share of frustration whenever technique “failed” me, and realizing being musical is much more than just being technical. As of now, I learned a much more adaptable way of playing, in which I delight on the music I play (or write), and so I want to *SHARE* that same delight with the people that love the same music as I do. It’s not a destination nor a goal, it’s a state of being, in which you also realize that the best preparation for experience *IS* experience itself. Hope this helps, greetings from México 🇲🇽 love your videos, see ya!
Listening to you play the flute is amazing! Please remind yourself how INCREDIBLE YOU ARE because we here in the comments know it!
Congratulations. Yes, you’re an awesome flutist. I personally knew you would do great.
Hi Katie! I'm an oboist in my undergrad, and this video was really encouraging! It's great knowing that even professionals deal with self-doubt, especially leading up to auditions. Thank you for a helpful video! ❤️ And congrats on runner-up!
I’m live these honest, vulnerable and real videos. You are so brave and thank you for sharing
Thank you so much for sharing. I just tried for my 3rd Professional Violin orchestral audition today and didn’t make it.. I was feeling down and hearing your experiences helped me to feel not alone!
Prelude afternoon of a Faun.
In my senior year of high school, 5 minutes before the concert I was asked to perform the clarinet solo. My music teachers all throughout my early childhood through to senior all gave me many challenges. Auditioned for all district band in the community in Pennsylvania, in Bucks County. I always wanted to peruse a degree in music however it was not meant to be.
As long as you are passionate, please don't give up.
I can no longer play due to major INJURY of my right hand which required me to have multiple surgeries. I miss playing very much.
Maybe pick up an instrument that you can play with the left hand? If you don't mind brass instrument, the trumpet is a good one. Depending on whether you still have some mobility with the right hand, the french horn can be really good.
I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you for this video! I was feeling completely hopeless while practicing and this video saved me. To know that even accomplished musicians like you go through this is such an inspiration!
I don't know you but just watching this process makes me so proud of you. I do play the flute in community groups and I think I am pretty good at that level and just love it.
In coming back to this video, I am surprised you don't have more views on it. Its so rare for someone to document the process!
This encouraged me so much to get back into auditioning, thanks for posting!
Just saw this. As a serious, dedicated amateur (horn) for 30 years, I can definitely agree with you on the nerves as well as the self-talk. Thanks for putting this out there.
I really appreciate you sharing this, Katie. Being a musician often involves dealing with a roller coaster of emotions and this is often not understood. Your video really helps to show this. Glad the audition went well and keep up the great work! 😃🎶
This hit sooo close to home for me. I have the same feelings alot of the time about my playing. ✊🏼 Glad to see that I'm not alone 🎵
This was some how very comforting, I’m about to audition for college and as everyone else I’ve been having doubts. It’s nice to know you’re not the only one, and good job on the audition!
I play the clarinet and flute, clarinet gets harder as you learn more notes
Keep the positive thoughts going. The Brass Ring is within your grasp! Bravissimo!!!
👇Use this as an I love Katie button!!!❤️
💖💖💖
Where is it pointing to
Fuzion Shot why do you have to ruin something wholesome?
Hi Katie. I watched this blog and the one about preparing a Concerto in 7 days. I can't tell you how they have changed my practice. Also the one you did about practice tips. I am auditioning for a local Wind Ensemble that for some reason seems to think it's a professional Orchestra with the audition requirements. LOL I have used so many of your ideas to help me get ready. Especially the slow playing. Thank you for making it okay to play something at a slow speed until you get it. That really resonated with me. I got a music degree in 1984 and although I was a military musician for 11 years I really never did anything with it. In the last two years I have really decided I want to do something. I am now 59 years old and realize that my flute playing time may only be another 20 to 30 years. Which doesn't sound like a bad thing from a young person standpoint but it's a horrible thing for my age lol Anyway this long rambling message just to say thank you keep doing more of showing us how you prepare for things, how you practiced, things you learned at Juilliard and of course things you are feeling in learning. Anyone that doesn't like to hear about your life doesn't have to watch the videos. I for one love to see all the different things that you do is a Gal about town,
Thank you for being so transparent with your experiences. As a percussionist, it's interesting to hear you talk about your audition journey.
I feel you, I’m a violinist and play at my college orchestra. I feel your frustration, even tho I’m not a professional as a violinist, yet I want to get to a higher level.
What a nice idea with the screens! Love that it's just about the sound and your playing! 😍
congrats!!! i'm a cellist and i also have all-state auditions in less than a month, like some of the other commenters (i didn't think i would get that far either!) and it's great to see you go through the process and put the entire thing in mind's eye
I truly have no words. I am in music school and am constantly stuck in that negative mindset and struggling with everything you described. I have failed at so many auditions and have not yet gotten my moment, and it is so easy to fall into that mindset where you are self-critical and constantly comparing yourself to others. I am constantly having to remind myself that my worth and value is found in Christ and not someone's opinion or preference when it comes to auditions and performances. It is still really hard though and I get frustrated and emotional quite often with what I feel to be lacking in my playing. I usually don't comment on these videos, but I related so much to it that I had to let you know that you're not alone and that this really inspired me to keep pressing on.
Hi Katie, I just wanted to say that you inspire me so much and I'm sure others can relate to what I'm saying. Thanks to your inspiration I have worked harder on my flute playing and I have discovered that I love the flute so I just wanted to thank you for that and hopefully you will see this.
Keep doing what u love no matter what
Congratulations, Katie! You did brilliantly, and you're attitude is great - treating auditions as a learning process is so good, just keep flying through til you get the perfect job :))
Though I am no pof flutist I do have these doubts from time to time. Appreciate your openness about it 👏🏼
Thank you for sharing that you have the feelings you have. I think most people feel that they are the only ones. You just made me feel better.
Yeah Katie! We are so proud of you for getting out there 😁
Going through with the audition is a reward in itself. Keep it up girl! ❤️
From a fellow flutist
That was amazing! 💕🎵 Thanks for taking the time to record that whole process!
Thanks for your honesty in sharing your times on the “struggle bus”. We certainly do all have them!
At least when you go to the next audition you know that at least one flute player will not be there.
Thank you for sharing this video! Hopefully one day these feelings almost every musician has will be more acceptable to talk about. When a musician says they feel they aren't "good enough" the other musician is always like "Hey, me too!!!" It really should be talked about more.. Thanks for getting it started!
Stop being so hard on ya self girl. You play beautifully. Enjoy what ya do, and stop living up to the expectation of others. Just enjoy playing music for you, not anyone else. 🎵😘😂💖🎵🎵
Your statements about self doubt are universal. My feelings of self doubt led me out of pursuing a music degree and opting for a more conventional life as a speech/language pathologist, now retired. Now 40 years later my heart is still to play my flute and I have abandoned my profession with glee. Wish I was able to take lessons again.
Just to let you know, I am completely here with you. Every time I watch your videos I can relate to almost everything you say, which makes my life so much easier, so thank you for what you are doing, and keep doing it. I absolutely admire you!!!! I know that you'll always be awesome!!!❤️
Congratulations on getting that far in the audition!! That's a huge accomplishment IMO
Wow! Really amazing result, you must be chuffed!
Just listening to this makes me shake like when I audition for school lol
i know i'm commenting within the video...but that vibrato...gurl!!! gorgeous!!!!
Katie you did so well!! I'm so proud of you and am so happy that you auditioned!
Congratulations on your journey. I really enjoy your videos. Thanks for them.
Don’t feel bad, I’m a flutist myself and tris quarantine got me backed up and I haven’t been practicing at all.
I really relate to what you said about never feeling good enough even though you are pretty good. I'm a highschool percussionist who is focused on timpani, but play flute for fun. I auditioned for timpani but didn't make the cutoff. So much practicing for nothing hurts, but I guess I should just stay determined.
I thought the part you talked about stepping outside of the "im-my-flute" zone was very wise. We are not only what we do but precious in our natural self. I have experienced similar moments with the violin when I was younger, and now that I havent played it in a long while, I realize when I take it out, how much of that feeling just comes flying back at me even though Im on a completely different position in my life. This constant self-critique has a huge impact on us and I loved how you kept forcing yourself to tell the truth - you sound beautiful, gracious, elegant, soft, powerful, lovely, sweet, anything you want to achieve really. And its not that you don't "know" it. You know it's true, but you dont feel it, because during practise you dont enjjoy all these qualities. Instead you are focused on te parts that still need improvement. Our brain learns from repeating, right, and we repeat for several hours, that our technique, air or whatever it is for a flutist, isnt good enough... So long story short, thank you for your honest thoughts, I can relate so well to that and I love how you example how to work on a different attitude by just telling yourself the truth from time to time and allow yourself not to feel guilty or braggy, but just happy and proud about what you have accomplished.
omg this video was such an inspirational video! I’ve been feeling the same way about my playing because I have an annual audition to try and place in my region band! And i’ve been negative about my playing lately and this showed me I have potential🥰Thanks for the video!!
Kaite, as a guitar player and a singer for many years, I can tell you that the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy playing your instrument. Teaching and judging is a great way to build self-confidence that you are a true professional musician and pass on what you have learned to others. When playing for a selection committee, technical ability, while important, is expected - a block to be checked. What sets you apart from the pack is your approach, manner, expression, and most importantly, your individual interpretation of the music.
Studying in depth the individual pieces, who wrote them, understanding what kind of person they were, and channeling that information is truly playing at a grand-master level.
Play with feeling and passion, and let your inner flute skills loose. Don't worry about the rest. Check out Cyprien Katsaris "Master Class" videos, or Rick Beato's "What Makes This Song Great" videos. Both are fantastic examples of developing a deeper understanding of music, and how it all works at a higher level. All the best...
That is so true part of gaining more musicality in certain pieces just having a better understanding of the composure the history of the piece and sometimes even just around the point it was written in their life helps so much.
I loved this vlog
you are the best on playing your flute. I used to play percussion quite a long time so I moved to an Electric Bass. Wishing you the best of luck on your auditions. Keep practicing.
Glad you shared your feelings on not being 'ready', it really resonated. This happens the moment I've put in for an exam - every time I'm 'supposed' to practice the pieces, I seem to be glued to the sofa 'worrying' about not practicing instead of actually just doing it! If I haven't put in for the exam yet, then fine, I practice them no problem and I'm really motivated. The moment they are 'exam pieces' and I've applied, I'm done for and the whole feel of them changes haha. I play viola and piano but not at a high level. I'd love to join an amateur orchestra one day. Great vlog
wow this is a such a great video. congrats on your result! and keep up that journey of self confidence, we've all got work to do! :)
I loved seeing your journey preparing for this audition! I actually live in York and my boyfriend took an audition for the same orchestra two years ago (and he also got runner up)!
I have an honor band audition December 7th!! And i have been feeling discourage about my playing but I am slowly getting confidence again 😁😁
Edit•my audition is tomorrow 😬😬
Another edit•I made 5th chair in symphonic band :)
good luck!!!
❤️Hi Katie! I love your videos so much! I play flute as well and you inspire me to practice! Thanks for everything and keep up the great work! ❤️
Hi. You’re a fabulous player! You have loads of control over tone and vibrato and sound really musical. Keep it up!!
This was such a nice and wholesome video! This is only like the 2nd video i've seen of yours, but just subbed and looking forward to more content!
You’re awesome for being so raw and vulnerable!! So inspiring for a lot of aspiring musicians to see the real behind the scenes that we all go through ❤️
Great job ... Keep on trucking girl !!!
Never say die !!!
Realest video I think I’ve ever watched. Bravo for your transparency, I can relate and this was so helpful to me. As for your playing, I dream of getting to your level.
And I might add, you are a fabulous flutist. If you have self doubts I should just pack it up!
I feel ya girl. I spent a ton of time rehearsing for an honor band audition (which paid off because I was 3rd chair out of 43 flutes) and now I have 1 week to practice for another audition and then a 1 month turnaround to prepare for All State
I don’t even play any instruments so I don’t know why this was recommended to me and idk how I just watched the entire video 😂
Thankyou so much for this video, Katie ❤️ I’m a saxophonist changing degrees to finally pursue music and my auditions for music university start in two days. Literally want to puke every other moment from nerves but this has really helped ❤️
I seriously aspire my playing abilities to be like yours
Great video. Doesn’t seem to matter age or talent- we all have insecurities with our own talents. This video just reveals what a multi layered person you are Great job!!!
I related SO HARD to this until you said that you got through to the next round haha! But seriously, I'm so glad you made this video, it's so good to know that I'm not the only one who goes through this every time I audition for an orchestra.
This is some great insight, always wondered how the process would look like. Could only imagine before this vid.
Also, seeing someone at a playing level so much high than my own going through the same things emotionally as I do is extremely reassuring.