"I needed very specific instructions; if I was not super clear on what I needed to do, I would freeze up and be unable to proceed because I know that my assumptions are always wrong" That's a nice way to describe my entire life
Sounds familiar. 😅 Most of the time it is more like: I do not know what a good decision is. Some of my ideas actually might be good, but most of the time, I am overwhelmed with possibilities.
Same here, I don't know if i am autistic yet or not but I definetly share some of the autistic traits and what you are talking about. Per example one of the problems at my job is that my boss dosen't comunicate that much and sometimes refuses to answer my questions about how he wants things done. This leads to me not always knowing what to expect nor know what he wants exactly or how to comunicate properly with him and while most of the time it ends up well almost every day there is something that ends up happening wich he dosen't take well. Per example yesterday he wanted me to find and fill a spray but since there were many times before in wich he asked those minor task for later and some in wich he wanted me to do it at the time and he would tell me so I ended up thinking he wanted me to do it later. To all of that add that the last week he told me that I needed to clean the room I was in quicker (being the reason i wasn't able to do it those days as quick that I had many other things to do before that and couldn't get time to get to it) and that he has told me that when I start some task I need to finish it then I am eager to think that i should finish cleaning before doing those minor tasks. It turned out that he wanted me to do it at the moment and when I told him I didn't find it he didn't like and got angry at me. First because he wanted me to do it at the beggining and secondly because he understood that when I said I didn't find I was trying to lie to him and make him think I did look for it even while a few minutes after he confronted me again to check if I lied to him I told him from the very beggining that I didn't look for it at the time and that I didn't meant that. Nothing, he was very adamant that I did lie to him, that it meant what he said and that it "screws" him a lot (in lack of nicer words). Thing is that I tried many times to comunicate with him to try to know exactly what he wants or how he wants it but in some cases he ignores it or when something happens (wich is almost every day) I try the best to have that in mind in order to avoid similar things the same day and to try to follow the logic but there is always something happening outside that mindset that is either new or oposite to that logic so I can't really be prepared or know what to encounter and how. It is something that destroys me mentally and I can't really unburden or focus in order to do the job properly nor I can really rest from it, I don't know how much longer I will be able to work like that or how much toll it will have on me
I have issues dealing with dishonesty in the workplace. I had a manager tell me in front of a morning meeting that i was the reason for the entire group having chair privilledges removed. He claimed I was sitting at my desk talking on my phone as the reason. In my logical mind, I know how i can resolve the situation. I pull out my phone and pull up the call log for that day. The manager and everyone at the meeting saw i recieved and made no calls for the entire day. I was fired the next day. I cant ignore injustice and that always gets me in trouble in and out of work.
At least it's better than spending your whole working life with a bunch of phonies and questioning your own integrity - something most people don't understand these days. If something doesn't work, gotta keep searching or make your own work at your own pace. Better to make your own dreams instead of paying for others, and that's what companies do.
@kimorox813 I proved my manager was lying in front of coworkers. The company had to make a choice. Keep the lying manager or the employee willing to stand up for themselves. They got rid of the biggest threat.
Haha same thing happened to me I stuck up for my co workers when they were being shouted at for no reason. This girl was so young and working 2 jobs and going to university and we were being shouted at for standing in a shoe shop with no customers even though we’d already done everything they’d asked. Another time I walked out because the a wedding venue only had one Hoover! And we were being shouted at for not finishing quick enough. Another time I just left because they were too abusive and they begged me to stay. Another time I walked out because a customer shouted at me to find what they wanted even though I was just meant to be on the till, and it was during Christmas rush! I was only 15. I can’t cope with these stupid injustices. The shoe shop the boss would scream at you like an abusive parent if you couldn’t find a shoe quick enough.
I really have tried but I get completely overwhelmed and I start feeling suicidal. I was a manicurist and I would drive home when I didn’t have clients and sleep because it’s the only way I could cope and then drive back. I did this twice a day sometimes 😢
Even when employed, I feel like a lot of autistic people are employed in jobs that don't reflect their level of ability, either due to lack of support coping with burnout from the pressure of jobs with more responsibility, or just because a lot of NT people put their trust in others based on how well they socialise or a general "vibe" rather than what skills they bring to the table. Being able to "network" brings a lot of opportunities as well.
In my experience theres layers of compounding issues. At every job you have a butt kisser. Atleast one. So, you already have this social politicking layer. Oftentimes theres cattyness and cutthroat layers to this most people dont notice, wouldnt characterize those ways if they did(theyd interpret it as a one off, however these arent one offs. In any productive environment there relative potential positions, but because of human nature and psychology these things repeat with great consistency across all kinds of fields) Furthermore, managers and bosses have a "take what you can" mentality. When you work hard, it isnt appreciate necessarily, especially if you dont have the social skills to schmooze with the boss afterwards when they go to talk to you(or have any interest in doing so) Oftentimes the boss will want to use you, either promoting you, or taking credit for your comparably focused work ethic(something I for one have never had any concern about or interest in.... I care about doing a high quantity of high quality work.... I dont care about social credit or want it. I dont want 3x extra responsibilities for a pittance shekels, and if your paying me as much as the guy Im standing next to for doing the same job and 99% of the time I do 2X as much work, but now after youve gotten used to it and gassed me up, I occasionally need to do only 1.5 times the work of the guy next to me.... WHY TF ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT WHAT IM DOING. I DIDNT ASK FOR A PROMOTION. I didnt brag to anyone else. The reason your talking to me is because you know harassing me will cause me to try harder, and the guy next to me doesnt care.... BUT QUIT FUCKING TREATING YOUR EMPLOYEES LIKE SOMETHING TO BE WRUNG DRY..... Because of autistic peoples particular issues, I think these and even other layers of compounding things all make it not only hard but nearly impossible to do in the conventional way that is pressured onto most people. They need to be allowed to play to their strengths and consider their handicaps without being harrassed and treated like garbage for it by people who just want everyone to do the things that theyve been told they have to do(and probably wouldnt even if theyd drop the sick social harassment nonsense that is so society wide and pervasive)
Yeah, I feel I have way more potential than the level I'm at with my job. Yet, because of my social deficiencies, I am unable to advance or find a more suitable job.
@@RickGrimes-tr3ug Not all jobs do. Furthermore, MANY people have moderate social skills, but NO work skills, but they get favored even when they actively avoid work and dont do any quality work, so the allegation that this is usually or primarily an extension of requirements for proper or efficient function are just totally dishonest. There are many jobs where autistic people are consistently much much much better workers, but theyre still not favored or even tolerated not because they cant do the work as well(In the context were discussing, were talking about jobs autistic people ARE better at, at least in general or on average) There is a massive minority of the working population... say 20%, who produce either nothing or next to nothing, but they function as social allies. Which might have selfish value to specific individuals, but has no larger value, and is in fact a huge detriment to final outcomes for everyone involved. Sometimes what you mentioned is the issue. However more often than not its not the case at all, and there are still many jobs autistic people can do just fine. In those cases when people say the kinds of things your saying, your prioritizing social jockeying over actual ability and productive value.... And that say alot about you. And everyone else who would for an instant even consider taking the same position
Only 15% of _diagnosed_ autistic people are employed, but the majority of autistic people have never been diagnosed, so we don't know what percentage of autistic people are actually employed(counting all of those who have never been diagnosed).
Yeah, also which of the 100% that is accounted for is autistic people who could work (with accomondations) or which of it is high support needs autistic people who need parental assistance to survive day to day, are non verbal, non communicative, etc? I doubt it's only 15% of ASD 1 types, but if we incude ASD 3, I'd expect the majority of them not to be able to work.
And if a majority were never diagnosed, it's likely that the ones who were diagnosed tended to be the ones experiencing the most issues, which would imply that the ones who have been undiagnosed would be somewhat more likely to have employment.
This reminds me of the "autistic compensation principle". Its this theory I made up that explains that if you are an autistic without an intellectual disability, then you must compensate for your social shortcomings by other means in order to live a similar life to an NT. If you want to be better at dating you must compensate with extreme levels of social exposure therapy and practicing and also being conventionally attractive, etc. If you want to be better in a work environment you need to go full out, reading books on fitting in the work place, getting therapy, practicing, etc. Its really annoying how others dont have to do all this yet they put us on the same expectations as them
That's interesting hypothesis. It's something I noticed in myself and in my daughter - since I was in late elementary, I've had this thing where if there is an issue that others seems to intuit, then I needed to go get all the books and study it deeply. I remember being around 11 and reading marriage books my parents had, for example, cause the idea I could just do it on my own was just not a thought for me. My daughter's wishlists are often full of books, and all the nonfiction ones are similarly her trying to study her way to compensate for what seems natural to others.
that applies to almost everything in life i would say.we have to compensate one thing with the other or try to so that we do as good as someone without the problem or as close to that person as possible
I’m a massage therapist. I work for myself. I work on one person at a time. I am in complete control of my schedule. It’s quiet in my massage office. I can put all my focus on helping a person’s pain. No other job works for me.
I am in need of a career change due to extreme burnout and I’ve been thinking that massage therapy might be for me. This was my sign to look into it further. Thank you :)
I wish I could figure out something that would work for me. A lot of what you said sounds good but I’m just not comfortable touching people or having to interact one on one. Did you experience that at all? I sometimes wonder if I could get used to it or I should just accept that it’s not going to work for me
I’m not diagnosed with autism but I know I am autistic. I had the visor thing and the menu thing literally happen to me. I worked in a corporate setting and really struggled to make friends because I can’t make small talk and concentrate on all the work I had to do. I also find masking so exhausting, yesterday I had an interview for a college place, I was friendly and personable and then I had to go home and quietly crochet in my room for hours until my heart rate calmed down. It’s so hard being like this (and being paranoid about being clocked because I find it hard to talk and make eye contact). It’s good to know other people out there get me and I’m not alone. Big love for this channel xxx
I feel this 😭 I'm not even diagnosed anything and I relate to most of her videos, I feel like such a freak like why can't I do what everyone else can??
I'm a 50yo autistic man, self-diagnosed (I mean, I have all the symptoms, come on!), and I've struggled with employment my entire adult life. After spending 6 years in the Marines (I kept my mouth shut, that's how I made it through), getting two graduate degrees (and nearly getting fired from a TA-ship due to burnout and misunderstanding what the professor wanted), getting fired from a number of crappy blue collar jobs (same reason), having a cool job as a science librarian (but not getting along with my uber-neurotypical director), I findly found the perfect job, working as a legal assistant on the federal workforce. My work is repetitive and clear-cut, not a lot of public contact, I get to listen to music while doing my tasks, and it pays reasonably well. I know that this is the best I'm ever going to do at this point, but it's all about working toward that retirement now!
I'm glad you have found something that works for you! The hardship that compounds with a missing diagnosis is unimaginable. I wish you a happy and restful retirement with a smooth road leading you to it.
I'm a 52 year old autistic man and I find myself longing for retirement every day I'm in work. It literally cannot come soon enough as the workplace is becoming harder and harder (more exhausting & stressful !) to tolerate the older I become. I'm rapidly running out of "spoons" !
@@bonwrentaylor2743 I'm 53, and still doing part time jobs. It gets really annoying looking for jobs as you grow older. As an IT tech, I sense interesting times are here mostly due to AI tech. I still wonder about it being positive or negative effect on our society. It could end up both ways.
I am full time employed but i never understood why I found it so exhausting. Ive had two periods of long term sickness (about 6 weeks each time) due to mental burnout, and I'm finally getting my ASD assessment next month. Its so difficult existing in a society that expects you to function and work on the same level as neurotypicals
There is a proverb about two people carrying heavy loads of same weight for the same distance. The first one went all the way without resting, the second one put down the load and rested every now and then. In the end the second one was much more tired than the first one. For me it is ok to work harder and even longer than standard expectation, but to be back at full power I need longer uninterrupted rest. On some other channel about autism someone suggested seasonal jobs to have longer rest for the rest of the year. That is something to think about. The issue here is that it cost a lot of energy to prepare and make a change.
Why is their standard okay? It’s not, it’s unhealthy and unsustainable. NT standards cause mental health issues. Also our capitalist society is unsustainable and unrealistic. Nature and humans need Rest.
You mean... the "typical" - "not my job", "not today", "5% speed", "2% efficiency", "shit talk about others", "insecure laughter", "faking a job" level "normal"? Because... why are we even working if product and productivity - mean nothing to no one?...
31 here. Late diagnosed autistic and adhd. I resonated SO HARD with this video it's insane. Unfortunately I just don't know how to help myself now. I have ended up trapped in a nightmare. I am a single mum of two very young and definitely neurodivergent kids. I cannot feed myself most days. Managing to brush my teeth is a huge milestone of the day. Just maintaining a job (partime) and doing my best for my kids takes EVERYTHING from me and I can barely make it through a day. Constantly calling off from work, the fear of them hating me and firing me for being so unreliable (but starting out so amazing). The stress of feeling that I am letting everyone around me down. Feeling so goddamn stupid for not being able to just GO BRUSH MY DAMN TEETH. Yet no one sees this. Not on the outside. Because on those rare oocassions when I make it outside my front door and my mask is fully in place I seem like a smiley, happy, put together young woman who just has the usual struggles of being a single mum.
@@RoseCityRemnantGod has been the only one i’ve had in my life that has looked out for me in every way, im 100% sure i wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that support. He’s the only one who understands me and sees who i truly am, everyone else just projects whatever they want unto you then become upset or call you sneaky if you remain true to yourself and not to their version of you. (sorry for hijacking OP)
this sounds so much like me. on the outside people see me as having everything together and being hyper independent, i’ve had people question me “how do you do it?” etc. little do they know the boulders i have to push up a mountain on the daily. not sure if this will help with the brushing teeth, but what has helped me immensely is when i use the bathroom in the morning, i tell myself (5 tiny mins, then i can have [snack] [drink] and i’ll be free of the tormenting repetitive thoughts of ‘you didn’t brush, your teeth will rot, my mouth tastes terrible’) i KNOW it isn’t easy, but wanted to share what has been helping me be consistent. i kinda force myself to become robot mode, like i temporarily put my mask back on and “perform”, but this time the performance is for me only and for my well being. hope that made sense.
I can believe that .. I hope that you can feel peace again.. the last job I had i loved! put me in a severe depression when they fired me after my grandma passed away.
I have worked for a company for nearly 30 years & nearly always been on a disciplinary, I had high attention to detail and good at the job but the bosses want faster, faster, fase all responsibility to you, achieve goals, you're safely, vehicle servicing, stock, etc, basically if anything go's wrong it's your fault, must be verbal communication to them and you get there interpretation E mail answer back through HR. .comments back like they don't care about your safely they have a business to run. After a small accident, indruy from rushing to meet targets, 2 years on still can't get a reasonable adjustment. Just higher targets. Out come permanent injury Mental health issues suicidel, depression, home life in bits and know where to turn. Don't even know another Autistic person in real life I think it would have taken me a week to make this video even if I knew what I was doing. Massive burn out. Just get me a comfy coffin. :-(
Go to Jesus as he is very much real and willing to heal your wounds and brokenness. The Creator of the Universe tells us himself his deepest desire to be united to Him and one with him in soul, body, mind, and spirit forever without us losing our individual personality and characteristics by being one with Him. God desires you, especially in our brokenness to embrace us and make us happy and whole.
I’m an electrician and I vibe a lot with what you’re saying, my life almost revolves around my career, I have hobbies and do my best to perform them but my job is so mentally exhausting I find myself often using my weekend to calm down and come to. I often plan a lot for my weekend and end up not doing a single thing I wanted to do out of sheer tiredness
Yes and when people ask you what ur doing for the weekend and most the time im so tired I just want to relax and do a few chill things to get my energy back up by monday
Omg YES those weekends, unfulfilled plans, recovering from exhaustion. Ugh so relatable!! This comments sections is awesome! It's hard to find people around that understands
employment is a strange world for autistic folk. i have no idea what i'm meant to be doing or what the point of it is until i've been there a solid year. it feels like nobody explains the rules or reasons, even (and especially) during induction periods. i couldn't even be 'good' at my first retail job because i wasn't told how to be. i thought tidying the customer area was giving me a gold star (hypothetically) but all the staff just thought i was being 'cute.' as an aside, my favourite jobs are the most repetitive ones (activities most would call boring), like restocking shelves, stock takes, even cleaning. and unfortunately, those are often the least well-paid jobs 😞
I also like repetitive things! They are so calming and soothing to do haha most ppl where I work make big drama when we have to do repetitive work, when I just enjoy it so much in silence haha
Have you tried looking into working on an Assembly line somewhere? Depending on the location and industry there could be decent paying jobs that have a ton of repetition.
What are the jobs MOST valued by society? The top 1% of entertainers that provide laughter or deep understanding and mimicking of the human condition. RELATING/UNDERSTANDING. Great sales people help the other person "feel" like they are receiving a solution to a problem. This is valuable SERVICE that is pretty hard to define or understand. In fact it's rather mysterious why such people are paid so much. Our value is related to what we provide to others. Service. Just existing/subsisting isn't valuable (extraordinary actions that others would exchange additional resources for). Filling a role that is easily interchangeable, repetitive (stocking) is less valued. Social skills are difficult to develop, even among neurotypicals, but often customer service jobs (like the returns/complaints department) are not paid well either! That's a highly stressful and difficult job, but a person is usually paid for the stress or anxiety a job causes them personally. This is an important lesson! You are not paid based on how much it costs you (emotionally or physically). Society also values HIGHLY SKILLED labor that other people don't have the patience or interest to develop, which is often the type of market where autistic people shine (classic computer science/programmers). This is SOLVING a more complex or very undesirable problem for other people. This often does not take place in low level standard corporate jobs either (making things very efficient or effective in your particular area). There's also the exchange of value between great degrees of responsibility for many other people's lives/jobs (how easy it is to get sued for failure). A doctor gets paid well because they invest a great portion of their life to learning skills and info and have the lives of others at stake based on their success or failure. It is the same type of value with government leaders, airline pilots and structural engineers. Less so with teachers and bus drivers (they do have lives/futures at stake, but require less skill and training or see less immediate direct results). This is also why it is getting very tiresome to be asked to tip everywhere, because additional money is being asked for the basic service. Hope that helps you look for patterns of what might be paid better and why.
i feel you, my first job was retail and while i heard so many people talk about it with disdain, i genuinely loved keeping everything tidy, organized, ready to go and from the start of the shift to its end, i did not stop walking around, checking the isles. i was constantly on my feet, making sure everything was well stocked and looked nice on the shelves, ran around boxing unused hangers or taking them out when they were needed, all the finicky stuff literally nobody cared about. i was let go the next day not even an hour into my shift, because i made everyone else's work ethic look bad, especially after going for overtime my very first day (mind you it was because one of my coworkers' child was sick and had high fever and there was nobody that wold cover the last hour of her shift). i also like jobs that require repetitiveness, like restocking, pricing, cleaning, they scratch the right spot in my brain :D
HO-LY-*SHIT* 🤯 For the first half of the video, I laid wide-eyed, mouth-opened, hand-in-haired in awe of how perfectly synonymous the struggles you mentioned were with my life. The whole video was actually this accurate for me, but I had no idea that the unemployment rate was so high due to these complications. For as much of my life as I can remember, I thought I was weird, even within the autism spectrum. I can't say this newfound knowledge solves my issues, but it sure makes me feel quite a bit less of an anomaly.
Yeah she definitely has the most relatable story to me by far, I really thought I was just weird but she and others who have commented have gone through literally the exact same thing. Now we just need to find someone who’s gone through it and figured out the solution…
I think the % might be higher. We're talking about 15% of diagnosed autistics, but how many undiagnosed are/have been working most of their adult life? I'm myself late diagnosed, and I have been working for 35 years now. My diagnosis did - finally - explain why it was so exhausting, though, and why I could never really fit in.
Undiagnosed autistics are almost all "high functioning" while diagnosed autistics are mostly "lower functioning ". So, undiagnosed autistics should be doing better, employment wise? Does that make sense?
That is the data that is most current but I 100% agree that it’s probably higher due to the amount of autistics that are undiagnosed. If I were to guess what it was more realistically I would say maybe 30% of all diagnosed and undiagnosed autistics are employed full time. I would love for there to be a new and in more depth study on this. I think that data point is from the 2010’s
@@anon3746That's a big generalization. Most autistic people I know are low support needs and have struggled with working full time. Most are employed in some way but not all full time
Stop apologizing for your behavior. I'm tired of everybody acting like we're monsters if we don't behave like the rest of the hive. Base-level respect is all that should be required of you. It's not your job to entertain everyone at work.
I'm a part time pastry cook now because full time always expects me to be a yes man. As a part timer, I get my rest and I don't have to go above and beyond to bosses because they simply don't care about me. My chef is nice enough to respect my limits and eventhough I earn lesser, I am alot happier.
My dream job is decorating cakes at a bakery even though I have 0 experience hahaha. This sounds amazing!! How did you get into working as a pastry cook?
@@morgaanfoley it was kinda luck because I was at a mental institution and this other girl from the ward became really good friends and she was a culinary student. But when she died and the hospital was helping me look for a job, I chose food training to remember my friend and now I work in a pastry kitchen 😂 but thanks to her, I found a new special interest.
I've been fired from several jobs in my life due to my autism. I was diagnosed several years ago at age 52. I've been called everything from "quirky" to "psychotic". When I was 17 I worked as a shipping clerk and all-around errand runner for a small company that makes custom parts for the theatrical industry. The owner told me that he was, "going to put me in charge of maintenance of the air-compressor." (Used for air-brushing parts.) After several months, it gave out due to lack of maintenance, so he fired me. There are several important points that made me feel he was derelict: 1. I knew nothing about how to maintain an air compressor and assumed that he would teach me. 2. I was terrified of it and assumed that once I learned how, these fears would subside. 3. "Going to" is the future tense. Why did he use the future tense on something that was meant to occur immediately? The "going to" made me believe he was planning to train me at some time. He was not.
That's just bad management. He didn't ask you if you knew how to maintain an air compressor before saying he was going to put you in charge. No need to blame yourself for that.
im at like the end of high school and the thought of having to enter the workforce in something that isnt a special interest kinda terrifies me lmao 💀 even if it was a special interest i feel like i would eventually be burned out from it, plus my special interests wouldnt really give me job security either which is a worrying thought i just hope by some miracle society suddenly becomes more friendly to autistic people
My special interests also don’t give me job security but so far I’m doing alright but I see myself having to switch careers multiple times in my adult life in order to make a livable wage and not burn myself out
Hi! I've been in the workforce for 11½ years now, and I've been trying to get a job in special interest-related things...only to realize that I would rather have those as personal/passion projects. As I'm switching fields finally, one thing I'm trying out is looking for actions I like doing (that may or may not be related to my autism) and finding a more reliable/sustainable job as close to an interest or special interest as possible. For instance, I like sorting and organizing things, and I enjoy books (though got out of touch with it). So I'm trying to get a job at a library that at least involves the sorting and organizing of books. Maybe that formula could be of some help? Hoping for all the best!
Start with part-time employment. I found dishwashing (at restaurants, or in food service, say, at an old peoples’ home) worked well when I was young. Jobs working with other disabled people, such as my recent stint as a special needs school van driver, or as a teacher’s aide or sheltered workshop assistant, make a lot of sense, as does working with preschoolers, who are a lot less judgmental than adults, or even older kids. Good luck! May your dreams come true! ☺️
Truthfully, it is really hard. I don't have a big support system, but even so, their help has been life changing. I hope you will be able to find people who can help you like that too.
As Clover said, yeah, better leave you interests as hobbies. Maybe try something similar to your special interest. I for example studied 3d bcs it was computers and something artistic, things I cant live with day by day, but it was also something in an area I don't care thaat much. Now I really like 3d, maybe now yeah is my special interest, although my special interest are still reading, writing, spanish and anime stuff, things I also do every day, but just as a hobby. Like I dont need the feel to do 3d in my free time at all xD but I really enjoy it when I do it bcs it has things I like. Just saying this cause a job at the end is a job, you have to enjoy it, but I think is healthy too to not make it your entire life, also too not ruin your special interest with the pressure of work. I know I wouldnt enjoy writing as much if I did it comercially for example
I lucked out so much with my job. I work part time in a small publishing house as an accountant. 15 hours a week, I can't handle more. I can come in later or not at all if I can't human one day, no one keeps count of how many days I've missed, because they trust me to keep track of that and if I need to leave in the middle of work because of an overload, everyone tells me it's okay and to rest. I can just wear my noise cancelling headphones all day if I need to, no one bats an eye. It's so common for me to finish my daily workload way before I leave that sometimes, I just read for the rest of my stay unless someone else asks me to help with some designing or wording stuff. I am valued, my coworkers tell me they wouldn't know what to do without me. I am so incredibly grateful for this, but I also believe that this is literally the only job I can handle and if it wasn't for this, I'd be permanently unemployed.
I can't deal with a full time job. Ugh, i just can't do it. If i have to do anything for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, i get sick of it in no time and it doesn't take long before i slip into depression. It's the same cycle over and over again. I'm glad that you have found something that works for you!
as an autistic guy who's less than 2 years older than you and has given up on employment after years of mockery and straight up abuse from managers, this video and your experiences literally explains so much of my own life. i'm so glad i found this video.
I had that happen to me, I would follow instructions to the letter at a retail job while also performing significantly above the level of my coworkers, so management would regularly assign me to perform other things which I happily did only to be repeatedly berated and punished by the upper management for not being in the places they expected me to be or falling behind when I was assigned elsewhere because my coworkers combined were performing at about 40-50% of what I was doing. I am also known to not filter what I am thinking while speaking honestly so calling them out on their bullshit meant other people were internally promoted while I got my hours repeatedly cut.
It took me a while to figure out that most people are self-serving when they tell you things like "give 110%". The advice is given with no regard for your best interest. Remembering that has served me well! You are correct in not simping for executives. I have been on over 300 interviews. You learn it through sheer repetition.
Personally I loathe how much of the work environment is focused on social interaction. I'm here to do my job, not to make friends, and I don't understand the need for social chit-chat in the breakroom. I've always excelled academically and managed to mask my way through job interviews, but once I entered the workforce I started getting burnouts every year and I didn't know why I was struggling when others weren't. I was constantly exhausted after the workday and got crazy meltdowns when I got home, and I just thought it was like that for everyone. Then I got diagnosed with autism and suddenly realized that my "normal" is very far from actual normal, and other people don't go home from work and cry uncontrollably because they're so exhausted... currently wondering how I'm going to live the rest of my life, because it's increasingly starting to look like I can't continue in my current occupation.
That's been a huge bane of most of my jobs. I just wanted to do my job of setting up files and sending them to the printer. Yet every single one of them has tried to push me into sales or having to constantly be on the phone with people. Then of course because I don't know how to instinctively make friends, I'm always the bad guy in the end. I just can't deal with that.
I worked just for one week in a office and I just couldnt make it. Now I am working from home, I think it is the only viable way for neurodivergent ppl. Yeah, I have some zooms, but it is just talking, no cam. I usually just mute myself while they do socials and I just talk when it is related to the job, or just my part of the job, sometimes I would like to talk more but it is difficult so yeah. They think I hate them lol but it is just that I don't have much to say haha
I have all the symptoms of High Functioning Autism but I don't have an official diagnosis yet. This year I will turn 60. OK, a long time ago, I figured that I would work as an elementary school teacher because in education the profit motive with bosses is not there. And with little kids (k - 3rd) (or top schools upper grades) is much simpler and in my experience generally good. Kids (people) with learning disabilities is part of the working environment. So having around 10 credits done, I went through college at night, got my Bachelors, and went through post graduate credential school. Right after getting my 4 year degree, I started working as a sub teacher and failed a required test 9 times. Although I have been a sub for over 20 years, I haven't given up and, I'm determined to pass the test this year. My university already told me that after passing the test, they'll recommend me for a credential. Not everybody is me, I understand. My 2 cents.
One time I was mopping some floors at like 11:30pm just before closing time, and because I had finished early I was chatting with a friend who had walked into the store at the last minute, only for one of the managers to walk up to us and start yelling at me for talking to him, telling me that I wasn't getting paid to stand around. I wasn't even supposed to be cleaning, my job was unloading trucks and I just wanted to kill some downtime. The job required talking with customers and socializing, but I was regularly reprimanded for doing exactly that.
@@Vanity0666yes this is literally it. Getting told to be more social with others but sometimes you try and talking to others and just get told off. Its such a shitty feeling.
Me having a mental breakdown every year and going back, not because I felt strong enough to, but because I felt I had to. I developed a habit of super clarifying everything when asked to do something. "Just to be clear, you want me to X" and say it in my own words.
I personally actively refused any extra responsibilities or supervisor positions so that i would not burn myself out. I also have trouble dealing with troublesome coworkers. I have accpeted positions with lower pay to keep me sane. I also seek out physical labor jobs over customer interaction jobs.
Yeah, people-centric and customer-facing jobs are generally bad for autistic people. Customer service is probably the worst cos of the people you'll have to deal with.
@@spankeyfish I hate customer service and ironically I found being a taxi host surprisingly tolerable. Fresh air, mostly managing queues, traffic management, noting down taxis skipping the queue etc... Most people don't wanna chat despite being drunk, they just want to go home. Anyone in the line causing trouble? Just push them into a taxi, not your problem anymore. People threatening you with violence? If they go through with it, At least in Norway, that is legally considered assault on a police officer as we work with the police. The threat of lengthy jail time is enough to make them reconsider and if they did go through with it, I got other people with me to back me up while we wait for officers to arrive. Overall, pretty safe work, vast majority of people only bark. Also helps I am a night owl, meaning I was at my A game when I was working.
My uncle worked in tech and he said a lot of people just wanted to code and did so well at it that they got promoted to management and just struggled. I wonder how many of them were autistic...
Ive been struggling for years with coming home from work and feeling like im going into a second job. "Do this do that, pay this bill, do your chores, cook dinner, tend to the pet, etc." im so glad i recently got my official diagnosis. i can either work for 8 hours, or i can tend to the reqs of life. but i cannot do both and it has gotten to the point of sheer frustration
I literally pray every day for God to keep me and that I don't take myself out of here.For this same reason my whole life I have just felt like i've had severely less psychological energy than everybody else around me.
I am old and it used to be that two adults got married and lived together, plus often some extended relatives were not so far away. So, one person die not have to handle all the paperwork and bills and physical little this and that of the household. One family couple had the pool, we others helped maintain it, and my grandparents had one handle certain financial matters and the other a different set of financial matters, younger family members helped them out with the home, and they separated who would do the kitchen work and who would do the home repair work.. I think it is very bad how today so many households are singles. In my day even a clear family (as opposed to extended) was stressful for many young couples. I felt sorry for them not having aunts and grandparents around to help out and share responsibilities. Today so many live in tiny apartments and have to do all themselves from cooking to groceries to keeping track of utility bills and that is inefficient.
@@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381 Yes I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I'm single and I just feel completely overwhelmed. I have 2 roommates who are wonderful, but they are SUPER busy and only home about 10% of the time because they stay with their family or boyfriends most weekends, and work outside of the house and go to activities afterwards. I've asked them for help when I was desperate, but it usually ends up being days or weeks later that they can assist, so I have mostly wound up having to do things myself if I wanted them to get done. Even shared responsibilities are hard like yard work and replacing bulbs. If a bulb goes out and I don't replace it, it takes them 3 weeks to do it because it's not a priority to most people to have one single bulb out. I understand that, but for me, it bothers me SO much. I cannot handle a dim spot in a room, and especially if it's an exterior light I feel too nervous to not have it on because it makes it hard to see the key hole at night, and I hate the feeling of thinking someone could ambush me as I struggle to put the key in lol. (just mentioning these things because I know my roomies can and should share household responsibilities, but I also can't expect them to cater to my needs if I want to remain in this house and not be resented for having too many "uptight" needs... My mom has tried to help me from afar, but bless her beautiful heart, it usually ends up just stressing me out more because she starts to panic if she can't figure something out and then apologizes for months afterwards even though I assure her it's ok and at least she tried. It just adds more stress. If she was closer, I think she could help me out a lot though, because it's easier being in the same room together to figure things out. I can't currently move to the town my mom lives in because there are no jobs there in my industry, but I am planning my "escape" there after I graduate school in a few years. (I'm 38 and back in college which is the only thing keeping me alive right now and giving me motivation to get my 100+ list of things to do done slowly but surely.)
@@TheUnshelteredHomeschooler No, I have not been autistic, but I did have a debilitating autoimmune disease for 12 years where I had to drop out of school, and have people take care of me. I had fibromyalgia, arthritis and everyday was a depressive nightmare. I suffered needlessly under doctor's care. I have also lifted myself out of the mire and am still trying to stay gainfully employed and helping others do the same, including people with autism. I worked for the Department of Fair Employment and Housing and assisted with thousands of cases. Everyone has a sad story, but the ones who continue learning, growing, and have a better attitude have an easier time in life. Not a single one complained about having a job, but not having a job. That's the reality. Autistic people don't want to be coddled. Is it kinder to enable people, or give them real help and advice?
I got diagnosed as Autistic at age 60 in the hospital! I would go from one career to the next, never lasting more than a year. Same things you describe.😀
I’m 40 and only found out I’m Audhd after being in autistic burnout and unable to work for 3 years. I was in restaurants full time and made masking my special interest, without realizing it. I didn’t have any time for my own life and was constantly melting/shutting down outside of work. 🧘🏽♀️
Oh my god. I am you, but sub retail for restaurants. I am also 40. My first job was Wendy's, and I would wipe the chili station down and kept the lobby tables so clean (basically with my tears- i did registers at lunch, and the rush was so bad I would literally just sob as I wiped the tables in the lobby afterward.) They tried to put me in drive thru because I was very efficient, but my first multiple order I LITERALLY just started spinning in circles, because I would try to get fries amd then the drink and my brain cannot do more than one thing at once, just cannnot- I will wipe stiff down and clean stuff, but the demands of multiple tasks is just something cannot do... I lasted a month, and dispite the constant sobbing after lunch rush, I kept the counters super SUPER clean and kept everything stocked so well, because that was the ONE thing I could do that didn't make want to die, they actually begged me to stay. Yeah, no. I will kill myself before I work food service again. NOT hyperbole. I will either kill myself or live on the street, it's not worth the stress... Be kind to fast food workers, it IS SO MUCH harder than even most neurotypicals let on... Oh my God. The visor. Amd the black pants. I tried, and then I just wore jeans. I also cannot tuck shirts in, it's beyond uncomfortable, I just couldn't - I would French tuck tge front, and as soon as no one was watching I pulled it out, I CANNOT do tucked shirts, turtle necks or polo shirts, the collars make me want to rip them off, it becomes all I can think about... The world as it is is not for us. It would be BETTEF if we made the rules. I don't care what my fast food worker is wearing. Not one iota. The job is already hard enough, without being uncomfortable...
I'm sorry, but my first reaction to learning that masking is your special interest is probably really inappropriate. Namely, that if you mean it, I'm really curious and excited to know what wisdoms you might hold. Does it mean you could be a really good actor? Or a social media personality? ( I understand it's a horrible thing, though, that you weren't able to turn the masking thing off before it was too late D: )
I think part of that statistic even includes underemployment. So even though 15% to potentially only 10% have a job, they might be overqualified for it, and abysmally underpaid. In Australia, employers are legally allowed to pay intellectually and neurologically disabled employees far below minimum wage. There's been stories surfacing of comorbidly learning disabled autistic people earning less than $4 an hour, for deliberately less than part time, but not low enough work hours to be considered casual. With no tips (cause we don't usually require a tipping culture, but for the disabled individuals especially, we shouldn't need it).
15% are FULL-TIME employed The correct percentage of employed AP is 22% but it includes those that do: part-time jobs, freelancing, commissions etc. It's still a shit number especially considering that 77% of the unemployed AP WANTS to work
I think this statistic also does not include people with high support needs. You can have different opinions about that. But to my literal autistic brain this comes off a bit as polishing and already horrific statistic.
@@servadac42 There are many more studies done on this problem , while nearly everyone of them differs from each other, the numbers usually comes down to about 75% of autistic people not being employed
We are in the Age of Aquarius and Global Societal change is inevitable considering the arrival of AI which will help autistic people get help they deserve. The only requirement being that they open up to this technology and use it to their own advantage
But what about the job SEARCH process? "Yeah, we know you took the trouble to make a resume... but you need to do the whole process all over again, for US. You need to spend the next few dozen minutes tediously entering all your resume information into our system. Now, we're absolutely not going to hire you, but we're still going to demand that you burn yourself out applying for a job with us. Because we matter, and you don't. So dance for us."
I know I’m so sick and tired of it 😂 and also I went on an interview and the manager literally told me he needed to go to the bank…didn’t even apologize and asked if I wanted to wait 30 min or reschedule. Not even kidding. It took 40 min to get there just sad.
Thank you for your video. You described my life and by doing so, you have validated my assertions. Keep doing what you're doing, take care of yourself, you are appreciated.
I was unemployed for 12 years and recently my psychiatrist told me I'm autistic when I was just there trying to get help with my bipolar. I think I interview very poorly cause of my autism and I don't have conversations with people because of my autism so no one would give me a chance.
Hey, I really need to talk to someone who has bipolar and is autistic cuz I have bipolar and I suspect I might be autistic and I'm trying to find a way for it to be assessed so I hope you can reach out to me cuz I feel like it would be very validating to hear from someone who has or is both.
@@BeautyAnarchist I have bipolar and I went to a public hospital after like my first clear manic episode in Australia and the psych told me I'm autistic lol. Im not getting assessed for it so I can't help you really.
@@BeautyAnarchist bipolar symptoms and psychotic symptoms turn out to be pretty prevalent in autistic people. Like 30 percent common. Schizophrenia and bipolar and epilepsy a few others are really prevalent in autistic people
Totally relatable video. A little over a decade ago, I was desperate for a job, so I applied for a position in a corporate 9 to 5. But I actually had a friend help me answer the weird online test questions (lots of crazy math questions even though the job didn't require the use of math) and then with the social range questions I just made sure to never pick the middle numbers. For the phone interview, my friend prepared a script for me to use, and for some reason, everyone on the phone line was super impressed. On the day of my interview, the hiring manager showed me around the office and said that my results of the test were incredible, and I was provided an offer letter by HR that same day. As someone who 100% lacked executive function skills, I somehow managed to barely survive 3 years before I saved up enough money to leave and start my own business. Now I'm much happier.
I’m autistic and employed… I lucked out because I love science and that’s where I work now. There’s enough of us in this field that it’s not too bad. Working in healthcare, there’s very specific instructions for what should be done and you cannot deviate. Our skills work really well here at all levels. ETA-I was deeply masked and as a minority woman I have to code switch a lot.
Im SO HAPPY you found a good job for you!! I have heard the sciences are good for autistics. I wish I understood science I love learning about it but I was never good at it in school
@@morgaanfoley I do bounce in and out of employment/and going back to school. I’m in pharmacy school now. I made peace with having high student loan debt Also I love your content. I’m 40 and coming back from serious burnout and
Healthcare seems to be a good fit for autistic people, I'm a psychiatric support worker and I'm one of five autistic staff - my manager even said that if I'm autistic then we could do with somr more autistic people working there!
Yes same here. Special interest in Tech. 22 years employed. Before that had decade of mixed employment and unemployment. Really the stuff I do wasn't something I could get educated in when I was just out high school. But once it was I took off like rocket.
@@laurencewinch-furness9450 there’s not enough people with mental illness working in Psychiatry. I think lived experience is important to being effective I’m sure you’re able to show them a level of compassion that makes the difference
In my 20’s, I worked at a restaurant as a hostess. The table numbers and arrangement were so confusing and I kept seating people in the wrong order according to where the waitstaff were assigned. At one point, the manager asked us to move our cars to another area, and I literally drove away and never came back. That was on my first day. At another job, the office was so unorganized with piles of paperwork everywhere. I was so confused about how to do my job. Plus the woman training me smelled like she had not showered in days. I went on my lunch break and never returned. This was over 20 years ago. My life is making so much sense now
That's bad management. You should never throw new people into the fire. You have them shadow somebody or you give them the easiest tasks so they get used to be in the environment first.
So many spot on things you said. You are an absolute darling as well, beautifully eloquent. “ I’d rather quit than be yelled at” yup, that’s me. It’s so serious and people don’t get how difficult that is for us. It cripples us. Because as non stop pleasers it just defaces us. It’s awful. We need a stress fee, gentle person as a boss or Co worker so we can regulate our nervous system.
It’s heartbreaking and weirdly touching how many of us relate to this video. So amazingly reassuring to realize you’re not alone in these struggles but horribly frustrating to realize so many of us have had these traumatizing experiences at work. Especially because it doesn’t need to be this way at all, pointless suffering is just the worst, but I digress. Thank you for making this wonderful video, love the topic and your take on it can’t wait to see more! 😊
I have adhd & it’s the same for us as well! People with adhd can’t usually hold down a job. I always struggled to keep a job bc of my over sensitivity which people with adhd tend to have. Even tho I have been working on it the more I have gotten older, it’s still a struggle for me. It’s also hard for me to keep jobs bc of the constant lack of fairness that happens in many work places.
I'm autistic, working as a waitress in a casual, family restaurant, and it's so telling which things are causing me difficulties. 10 tables full of people when everything I need to use is perfectly optimized for my specific workflow and the music is also a chill background music? You can bet you're gonna get your order as fast as possible, look at me go, smiling, chatting, everybody's having a lovely time. But the constant confrontation with coworkers when they want to listen to upbeat, annoying songs and they don't understand that I can't function with those in the background? Babies crying? People watching videos loudly on their phones? Anyone having an issue with their food and I don't yet have a script for that specific issue? People not following the "rules" (e.g. seating themselves at a dirty table) and therefore throwing me off my flow? And suddenly I'm barely holding it together, not even being able to look guests in their eyes while I take their order and surely being perceived as rude. Not to mention all the times I feel like I'm a lesser human being because I can't work as much as other people while also needing more downtime after each shift to recover. It's so incredibly hard and people will never know how much effort I'm putting into barely surviving.
It's the coworkers! I find that I'm OK with things that "allowed" to be stressful, like a busy day. But when I'm supposed to not be stressed, that's when my anxiety kicks in.
I turn 38 next week and was only diagnosed with autism last year. Your videos have been SO affirming for me, I can't even tell you. I haven't been able to hold down a job my entire adult life and hearing you speak about this topic gives me so much hope. Thank you, Morgan!
And the amount of autistic people who are employed but UNDERemployed I relate to this so hard. I would leave jobs as soon as I thought I had made a mistake. I think I would’ve done better studying a hard science like math or physics … if only I’d had a diagnosis or known my self better when I was young…
I have an APPLIED MATHEMATICS DEGREE and COROPORATE AMERCIA HATES SMART PEOPLE!!! I had to learn the hard way going in and do AMAZING WORK only for JEALOUS PEOPLE to get rid of me because they are INSECURE MISERABLE PEOPLE!!!
Yeah I'm in the underemployed category I do some occasional gig work but I don't have an actual full time job. And the only reason I'm managing to survive at this time is because I still live with my parents.
I studied engineering. A friend who managed to make a career out of engineering said it's different than being in school (this was a good thing for her, because she likes the work world better). I don't think I would have done well even if I had managed to get a job in engineering.
I found out I was autistic back in my 20s with Asperger’s syndrome. I always struggled with 9-5 work and never fitting in with society and the status-quo. I am in my 40s now and nothings changed obviously. I feel that doing your own thing is the only way to stay sane and feel balanced. I’m glad the next generation is shedding light on this subject and props to the young lady in this video for having the courage to tell her story and help others who might feel alone in this world.
Work in an office is INCREDIBLY draining due to the social aspect. For me, at least (also autistic). Just talking to people or hearing other people chattering nonsense...ooph. Forget about the non-mandatory-but-expected happy hours, lunches, etc. 20+ years after starting corporate/office life, I've found my place in it...but there were a lot of stressful years. Edit: I just heard your age--eek...I've been at the same company since before you were born.
6:37 this is so me with all of my managers. If I don't feel like they're doing anything extraordinary to earn my respect they're no different than the rest of the people I work with
14:20 This is exactly why I am graduating at age 29. I am working a 3 class schedule, and getting myself to look after myself takes up the other class slot in my schedule. It's super painful. Makes me reeeeally hope that Bernie's push for a 4-day workweek goes through. A 35 hour workweek, in my opinion, is about ideal for my brain.
Thank you for sharing your story with us! You basically described how I felt at every job. I'm 33 and was just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday after finally getting sick of the burnout cycle and not having any answers.
Neurodivergent viewer here (schizo gang gang). This video is heavily relatable in many ways, and also a reason why I am a Marxist. These employers don't appreciate what labor they can get with their offering of crumbs.
I'm not diagnosed yet but my therapist and psych and I are pretty sure I'm autistic, and in autistic burnout real fuckin bad lol. This video couldn't have come at a better time, I called off work today because I just couldn't handle it and now I'm anxious because I know I'll get shit tomorrow but I don't really know what else to do. I'm looking for a lower stress job but damn I go through pretty much that exact cycle of job hopping.
Just lost my job after burnout escalated. I knew I was likely adhd, but ironically in the time I've had off, I've realised I'm autistic. This video really helped normalise my experience in the job. I asked for support and it never came, things escalated and I'm out of a job. Lucky I had the sense to contact my union at the same time I asked for support at work, as my complaint is documented by a third party. Following up on unfair dismissal and workers comp. This is in Australia. Also, Morgan, a billion thank you's. One of your videos came up in my feed a few weeks ago. The penny dropped, like Matrix -style-Neo-stopping-the-bullets. I did some screening tests, "passed" with flying colours, and hoping to get a dual diagnosis one of these days. Please keep doing what you're doing and hope you settle into your new place! ☺ 💐
The more I watch these videos the more I see myself relating. Not 100% to everything but to the experience that everyday life at the office is just too much for my nervous system. I'm in overdrive and I melt down eventually and burn out. A small example would be the way the office was arranged, if there was a lot of visual clutter it would bother me, or people having conversations as I'm trying to work, or meetings that purposelessly go on and on, or pointless tasks, or pressure, or disrespect to employees and fake cover ups about it, and just the sheer amount of hours I had to put in every day which was way over my nervous system's capacity. It was just to much for me. I'm trying to get back to employment and it's very difficult but I hope to make it this time without burning out for several years.
I have Asperger’s and so far I’ve been doing really well at my job, it surrounds my special interest and I like knowing what I’ll be doing all day every day, I like doing the same thing everyday. And what helps me the most is asking to work night shift. When I’m alone I enjoy my job the most and get more work done. I would highly recommend switching to night shift if you’re struggling in your job. It makes it way easier to focus. Also I watched videos on how to be a good worker and followed the tips from those videos and the tips my mom gave me about working. I try to always appear friendly and willing to help to my coworkers and to the patients. Specially towards your boss because they have the ability to fire you. I noticed the job becomes easier if you pretend to care about your coworkers lives so always try to make small talk with them so they will like you more and be willing to help you more with your work. I hate small talk but I always attempt to make a little bit of a conversation with them so they feel like I’m trustful because 90% of the time I’m not talking and just working. It makes a big difference when you pretend to care because you’ll go from “rude/ quiet/ selfish” to “quirky/ shy/ funny” so I always try to be polite even when I’m overstimulated. Also don’t tell them hardly anything about yourself that could be used against you, they are not your friends (my mom taught me this) Coworkers absolutely will throw you under the bus to save their own skin so AVOID GOSSIP. However unless it’s about someone they don’t know like for example gossiping about something you saw someone do on tv etc, cause if you gossip about someone at work they almost always go to the person you were talking about and tell them what you said because they want that other person to trust them more. Also by not gossiping about what so and so said about so and so they will gain more trust for you. And so by making people trust you they are less likely to gossip about you and ruin your good name. I’ve learned this from my mom telling me. Also it’s good to tell your manager that you have autism and tell them that you take things litterally. If they don’t explain something to me literally then I will just do it based on my assumption so they don’t just see me sitting there and think I’m lazy.
That’s awesome, that was me a couple years ago when I started. I think if you figure out to prevent burnout you’re golden, that’s the only real thing you have to watch out for. I didn’t set any sort of boundaries on my energy so I used up everything working. That said, I don’t intend that to be negative. You’re doing great, and you have almost all the puzzle pieces, that’s just the last thing to watch out for. Hope all goes well in your work and continues to go well!
Really able to relate to this one. ONLY reason I haven't had as many jobs is one of my comorbidities is General Anxiety Disorder. The thought of having to do more interviews is enough to keep me at jobs. However, this seriously hurts my mental health and often triggers my depression. I NEED to find/create a solution for myself that my anxiety will accept.
That was me! I had such a bad experience with job hunting (my only depressive episode, knock on wood) that I stayed in an unhealthy situation way too long. Now, in trauma therapy, I'm learning to job hunt again. For me in my situation it's empowering, because it means i can leave unhealthy situations.
You are such a brave and strong girl. I sometimes have this work fear for my 9 yrs old autistic son too. How he will cope with this world of outside and strangers. God bless you and all autistic kids. Love.
the numbers for pda autistics are even higher. here's what i found works for me after being unemployed for several years: substitute teacher: no responsibility with huge authority, no real boss and i can work with kids with ASD and it makes me so happy ❤. I also love keeping up with the times by being near the youth. Many days there is barely work to be done so i draw or go on the internet, or even write songs if im subbing in band class. pizza delivery: i get to basically be alone singing to my music all day, and when im in the shop im tearing up boxes or cutting pizzas. I get to walk 10k steps a day. i get lots of safe food 😅 in my off time i resell small high value electronics like iphones or switches. This lifestyle allows for almost full autonomy, tons of breaks, as many days off as needed, both industry are accepting of diversity. All of these things are something you can walk right into as well
I'm a substitute teacher as well. Sometimes managing student behavior can be kinda stressful especially with the younger kids but overall I enjoy the job. I'm grateful that most of the staff in the schools I have worked in have been helpful. I also like the flexibility of it. There may not always be jobs I'm able/willing to take but I'm allowed to freely choose which jobs I want to take. As someone who just got a music teaching degree last year I mostly take music classes, but I have also subbed a few times for PE and art classes too. The tasks are usually fun and easy to implement, and one of the biggest perks of not being a regular teacher is not being the one to have to plan them. I also like not having to do the other additional tasks of regular teachers like after school meetings and such.
So do you get to choose your area for subbing.? With today’s schools it would seem the overstimulation and added headache at certain schools would be overwhelming. Lots of schools want subs to lesson plan and do grades, etc…
I have been rejected from so many jobs (ones i was over qualified for) just because they didn't like that i was honest in the interview questions. I cannot market myself at all.
Same! They never told me that but a few years and life experiences more I just can see it and tell it for what it is. Which is sad because I'm also kind of too laid back when I did work and unless I'm plugged in to productivity (producing and meeting quotas, let's say) it just isn't a good look for me. So then the loop of it all is back on me. How am I supposed to not be downtrodden? I just can't make sense of it but what I've been doing is I keep trying anyway... I feel like they take me as being deadpan now that I think about it, employers that is. I was told I'm too brooding... I won't even get into that it was completely judgemental and insulting
Even 50 years ago, this was the case. At the end they would say, “Thank you for being so honest” and shake my hand. I NEVER got any of those jobs, despite - in some cases - an almost perfect fit. Seems integrity is too dangerous to have around…. Weird. Only diagnosed as autistic at 65: now it all makes sense. Managed to hold down jobs, with great effort, but not really a proper coherent career. My last boss put in a lot of effort and money in order to get me publicly humiliated and effectively fired, but luckily it was time to retire. The stress could have been a trigger for my blood cancer, though, so my life has changed a lot recently.
It really helps hearing videos like these becasue its easy to forget how much work it is being autistic. Im 31 and been working since i was 19 doing resturants and customer service but now work as a massage therapist and love it. Only learned about autism a few years ago becasue my body was shutting down from over work and traumatic stress and no doctors knew what was wrong but just hearing about autism from other autistic people changed my life. Even mid meltdown, I can usually keep working and hide it if i need to but when i do that every day over time i start to get weird seizures where my whole spine starts shaking violently and Ill feel half retarded for weeks after. So i try to respect my body abd stand up for my needs instead of pushing to that extreme now. This only happened becasue no one had ever validated the sensory issues ive had so i wouldnt have a tangible reason for needing rest or time off. And was always told to just keep going. So i actually learned how to work and handle things even while having a meltdown super well. And my body had to give me an even stronger signal to take a break by completely shutting down. Its still the only time i ever get a day off work and i get threatened to be fired so its a huge stress i nearly die of a heart attack every time. So i basically just have to keep myself well enough to not have to take off work ever. It means i can only work part time and some days I have to push way too hard to get through. I really love helping people with my knowledge about the body and sharing my kindness. Makes it work all the pain and hard work. Some tips that might help other people 1) bring a backpack always packed with all the self care stuff you need in case you have to rush to work n didnt get to brush your teeth and hair or whatever or eat breakfast. Apparently this looks less professional to cary a backpack but no one told me til a couple years ago haha I still wear mine every day and always have things to help senspry issues in there too like pepermint, headphones ect. 2) work somewhere you can go outside and relax with fresh air on your breaks where no one will bother you. And take time to move your body and loosen up. The sensory issues get worse as we get more tense, so just stopping to stretch and breathe has saved my day over and over. I tend to have quite extreme sensory issues and being a massage therapist i have definately noticed that just massaging the right spots makes my severe sensory issues go away pretty reliably. So if you get a lot of sensory issues too, learn about stretching and different kinds of movments. 3) work somewhere that you are able to get food on your break and still have enough time to eat. I forget breakfast all the time and sometimes and running late but need a snack or i will be sick if i start doing hard work without eating. So i try to pick a job next to the grocery store that way even if im running late to work i can still run into the store and get food in about 2 minutes. 4) socializing at work can be really hard and draining but can also be nice too. What i learned is that when you go deeper and really try to connect with your coworkers over time, the small talk becomes less burdensome and you even get to talk about the weird stuff you like. I play mucis so my coworkers know and will ask me about projects im working on or Ill tell them about a new instirment im learning. And then I can actually be more a part of the socializing and it doesnt just feel like being a weird alien on the side trying to nail your script. Generally I will socialize at work only when i want to and dont force it. But try to get to know everyone over time and to let small talk be a chance to discover where you can connect deeper. If you can find one thing you truly connect with about each person at work, even something small like a tv show or something. But you use it to make jokes and stuff to relieve stress and make work fun. If you small talk with someone like that, then theyll start opening up about stuff going on in their life, their hopes and dreams, problems ect. And youll be able to share some of yours too. If im ever to burnt out at work Ill just say hi and not try to talk much but still smile, wish people a good day. And usually if youre being quiet one day people naturally give you space or maybe ask whats wrong. And thats helped me a lot of hard days. So i learned to check in on my coworkers when i notice stuff like that becasue they did for me. I still have barely any clue how to socialize normally but i just try to be authentic instead of normal and not worry about stuff too hard. Just share who i am with out the pressure to do it all the time has made me so much more comfortable around people and it lowers the over all sensory overload even if some days its really hard to deal with people, its still worth it to make an effort to be more friendly. As long as i get my break by myself to stim and its okay. Thanks for anyone who read, hope you have an awesome day out there!
I love you videos, plz keep making them, they make me feel heard, and help it easier to share with my family how I am feeling, bc it's hard for me to communicate it to them. The double empathy video really changed they way I treat myself!THANK YOU! 🩵💙🤍
My goodness. This video is great and is a true account of my experience in work life. Work life balance does not exist, I am consumed by my business and can't make time for anything outside of that. Can't take care of myself. Social failure with peers at work, accused constantly of disrespect at my prior jobs. Often called a liar when those I was dealing with were the liars.
I have autism and ADHD, had my first job interview recently, for a software engineer internship and it went terribly. First I had a tehnical interview with another engineer which went well, I got like 14/15 anwsers right. But then, I had a "behavioral interview" with HR... and idk what I did, but she almost threw me out 20 minutes in. She interrupted me mid sentence when I was asking a question and said "ok, moving on, you were done right?". She didn't shake my hand at the end, just got up, walked behind me and held the door open. She wouldn't walk me out of the building, just pointed me to the elevator and said "you're good on your own right?". The front door was locked so the cleaning lady had to let me out. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I cried when I got home. Then she emailed me saying I got the internship and that she was "excited to work with me"?!
Most likely, behind the scenes, the engineer you talked to insisted that they hire you. I would guess the HR person recommend someone else based on the behavior. It is slightly easier for autistic people to get technical jobs because we can lean on that aspect and that way of existing is slightly more tolerated in our society. Though it is still a job and they will still treat you like a machine once you're in
I am going to second the idea that the engineer pushed for you. Don't beat yourself up too much, interviews are hard. I always hated when family asked how they went because I honestly didn't know.
Yeah, as others mentioned, the engineer probably vouched for you, but be wary of that environment. If anything goes south, HR may not be useful at all.
I'm 11 years old (year 6) and even I relate to this. And if i do work I would go crazy about it and properly get worried about getting it wrong like so much. At school I don't do work, I don't even go in the classroom and I still have a lot of problems. I'm even just in part time 9-12: 30 Like my school doesn't understand my autism. ❤
I am so sorry your school is not accommodating!! You deserve so much better! And remember that your struggles when you aren't being accommodated are not a reflection of you and that you are doing amazing!🥰
I can relate to this a lot, I'm in my 20s now and only just starting to allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them instead of panicking. Please be kind to yourself, everyone is human and makes mistakes! ❤
Im autistic too! I am 14 yrs old from the U.S in 9th grade or year 9 They need to do a better job of understanding you. I hope that your okay and you can get through this well stay strong. ❤
I loved night shift for being less overstimulating too but my body hated it I couldn’t sleep well during the day so now I have to go back to working in the day and among people again :/ I wish there was another solution cause I liked a lot about nights. Glad u found what works for u tho!
My Dad went this route! He was night shift at USPS loading planes for nearly thirty years, then partially retired and became night security. He said he could just listen to books on tape and not mask up to interact with people just for the sake of it.
@@InMyBrokenChair that's really going to depend on the institution. If you are working for a security agency, you won't make much. If you are an employee of the school, you may have better outcomes.
Its an inspiration that you found your place afterall in social media.Also you definitely have a unique and natural talent for performing and have a very intriguing personality, I think these aspects also played a significant role in your experiences. For example having someone one like you around brings balance to a team because people enjoy to have contrast and dynamic perspectives in their environment even if they dont know it. Your skits are both poetic and educating, profoundly so. I hope your message reaches as many people as possible, your awesome!
You literally described me regarding work to the exact detail. It's crazy 🤯 I'm doing much better now since I left retail but IT roles still have some customer service aspects and I absolutely hate having to make calls.
I have never been diagnosed with any developmental disorder, but watching this video and hearing you speak, I can relate to a lot of what you are talking about. I think a lot of people struggle with social things particularly. Whether that is undiagnosed autism, or just people are all different, I think we all need to understand that everyone is different, and workplace leaders and managers need to be sympathetic to those differences.
Same here. I use to be an Amazon driver for 2 years, but long story short I needed an escape plan and admitting to "time theft" was the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of employer to employee reimbursement. Guess they couldn't afford to have me
@@LaGuera2858 unapologetic honesty would probably be a needed skill in some position that required evaluating/reviewing products or performance especially either for safety/compliance or for entertainment/comedy.
I just got let go this week for asking for accommodations and vocal about things that might upset others like it had me.. oof I’m grateful for all the insight from others like you. Thank you.
I get this. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 1980s and struggled through school. Back then, it was "treated" with more homework and discipline. When I was in College, I had a professor take me aside one day and asked if I had "test anxiety." It was the first time I realized how horribly scarred I was from public school. later, I worked in IT and earned my certifications, but now I work changing oil on cars, been doing it for three years, and it's the longest I've ever held down a single job. I was diagnosed with Autism only about 5 years ago, and I'm still learning how much of my past struggles were directly related to that. So, my one accommodation I've ever asked for is now being treated as me just being difficult. I do have a sound sensitivity, and part of the process of working on cars is signalling as a car enters the work area. Usually people just call out, "IN on Bay One," or whatever bay they are using. Call "Out on Bay" also when leaving, but the training suggests honking. And in our little shop, horn sounds concentrate and enforce and a honk from a car entering or leaving feels like being stabbed in the ear with a pencil. I've asked my manager about prohibiting honking in the bays, explained my issue, and he treats it like I'm just being difficult and has told me before to mind my own business, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I am currently desperately seeking employment back in IT, which I tremendously enjoyed, but I am now finding that I am unemployable with my certs all expired and I can't afford to get recertified. I've been seeking promotion to management, but, like you, I have other -isms and learning disabilities, including dyscalculia, which basically means that if I don't lie about that I can't be a manager.
When you mentioned the fast food part, it reminded me so much of my struggle when I was working In a fast food restaurant. I didn't know I was autistic at the time, I always had worked cleaning duty only and It was fine ,I loved it. It was better than to deal with the cash register, the drive thru or any fast paced position. There was a time that the cleaning duty position was being eliminated and they wanted me to take drive thru or cashier duty. That threw be out of balance. I was scared of those positions, it was a big sensory overload and I felt very embarrassed because I was made fun by my coworkers. 😢
I remember when I got my first job, which was working stock in a retail store, after my first day of work when I got home I immediately went to my room, sat down, and cried, alone, for a good half hour. Nothing particularly bad happened either, my nervous system was just completely fried. But mannn I find that cycle you described so relatable. Like I was quite liked by my supervisors but eventually I was getting write ups for being late when I was desperately trying not to be. Then when I knew I was hitting breaking point I just told my boss I'm going to a coffee and just left, went home, ignored all phone calls. And that was that.
Same thing happened to me when I got my first job too, was at a Burger King. Even though everyone was nice and nothing bad happened, I was so overwhelmed by the chaos that I felt my brain separating and myself dissociating. Did a big cry when I got home
This is so relatable. Some jobs dont seem that bad and I dont always understand why I dont feel well, feel sad/overwhelmed. I think its just too many social interactions, too many responsiblities and expectations for us to get along with others and chit chat small talk and people assume its easy and natural to small talk but its always been so hard! So tiring being around people im just coming to accept tht casual part time work is all that can work for me.
@@rebeccac2358 I remember one big thing for me on that day was I remember my supervisor would give me an instruction to do, and when people give me verbal instructions it goes right over my head. So I've got to just... kind guess by using whatever things I do remember and then using other cues around me ALL while people are asking me questions when I've only been working there for a few hours. Then of course I screw it up regardless. After a few years of that I realized I'd be far better off dedicating all of my brain effort into thinking of ways I can live a life free of that while not ending up homeless; still being utterly impoverished but at least with a roof over my head.
@@rebeccac2358 I think the thing that did it for me is while I was trying to navigate this weird new situation I had someone asking me "where is x?" every 10 minutes (retail) breaking my thought process. Was truly brain breaking.
Audhd here. I know this about myself and front load projects with a burst of energy, gradually slow down, then coast to a burnout. There's only been one job I can do in low energy mode for years at a time. The usual turnover is 6 months
May I just say, you are such a beautiful, lovely person. I wish I could just hold you and every hardship dissapears. But you would feel suffocated😅 Thank you for putting so much love, focus and energy into your videos.❤
I can totally agree with all topics, I struggled in two points with the opposite: 1. I Overshared because the relationships with the coworkers wasn't clear. 2. I also struggle with hierarchies so I was over respectfully to everyone to not miss something. It's exhausting. Could you please make a Video about Autistic relationship struggles especially in romantic ones? It would mean a lot to me.
I also struggle with both over sharing and deferring to everyone else. I am afraid to speak up even when I know someone is wrong because I can never tell if it's the kind of wrong that they will need/want to know about or the kind where I'm supposed to just "let it go". I am always afraid I am going to get into trouble or put my job at risk because I am doing things I know are wrong but I can't tell if they're the acceptable kind of wrong or not. But I do this, because I have found I keep jobs longer by keeping my mouth shut. It's so stressful 😩
I sent your video to my boss. Hopefully, he understands after watching. Your experience is so similar to my own, I don't feel so alone with this. Thank you. 😊
Anytime I’ve tried getting an actual job, this has been my experience too. Because of that, I’ve just never left education and I’m currently doing a PhD. But I also don’t understand the point of interpersonal politics in academia, or the fact that we always have to fight for funding. So, basically, I’m really nervous all the time about my next funding and about how to navigate all of the unwritten rules in my field, as well as about what to do after my PhD, because I don’t want to be a postdoc or lecturer or so… I’m so scared to become unemployed
I’m pretty much in the same position as you, although still applying to grad schools at the moment and still open to teaching. The horror stories about academia and just generally not knowing what the next step for my life is, caused me to procrastinate and flip flop on what I was doing for months. My parents first told me to prioritize getting a job and I was so hopeless about getting any job I wanted, I barely applied to anything. Now they are telling me to prioritize grad school applications and I’ve decided to just put all my focus into that. I wasted months but I still fortunately have a lot of time though. This is something I’ve always wanted to do regardless if I stay in academia or not. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it now or later and was distracted by other stuff. I think if you can justify to yourself the experience of doing the P.h.D., regardless of what you do afterwards, it’s worth it. I think many employers will find your P.h.D experience valuable even if you don’t get to work in your field of study forever.
@@jacobharris5894 The last line is wrong. Employers do not find graduate level degrees to be a positive unless it is in the field you are working in. They feel that if you have a degree in something else you will leave them for the something else and therefore, they will be reluctant to hire you outside of whatever field you get your PHD in. This is not true for bachelors unless you are trying for a trade job.
Yes, social skills are evaluated during job interviews. Something that was so demoralizing to me is how they perceive me as unmotivated when I gave my all during the interview. I don't understand how I'm supposed to appear 'motivated enough.' Is their definition of 'motivated' equivalent to my definition of 'harassing people'?
No idea why my previous response is not visible.. Trying again with some editing: Yeah, my boss wants me to be more 'confident' when in reality he likes to be shouted at by women. Well, at least that's how it came off to me when hearing him talk how 'quick to raise her voice even though useless otherwise' my predecessor was. The official explanation is that my meekness is not effective in the field I want to start getting qualifications in and company cannot invest in such endeavour until I prove to be more confident. They're happy for me to perform functions of that qualification, just not interested in me actually going for qualification. My goal was discussed in the interview so nothing new, I don't even ask them to cover costs, just to give me 'university day'. I bring that topic up every 6 months or so My last PDR had a specific goal to make sure our office comply with company-wide rules/policies/procedures. Next week I refused to do something against the rules for a colleague, he called my boss, they laughed together and boss told me to do what the colleague asked. Updated my CV already, sent to one position. The plan is, every time something stupid like this happens, I send my CV to one advertised job opening. The more often the miscommunication happens, the bigger the chance I'll end up hired somewhere else. I'm not searching because I want to run away immediately (there are quite a few things I like about my current place), I just don't want to drown with sunken costs fallacy
Hey I've seen some of your videos and I just got to say I'm glad I found you. I have high functioning autism as well, and do the same things as you have a job, drive a car, and I mask very well to the point at first glance people can't tell I have autism. You know it's hard for us autistic and find others who go through the same kinds of struggles. Ironically I'm actually 22 as well which makes it even more relatable to considering we're the same age. I just want you to know that even though it's hard to find people like you and me we're still out there. I wish I could meet more people like you, but unfortunately it's difficult in the world we live in. I wish the best for you and I will continue to watch your content, and I hope to hear back from you.
I'm feeling that burnout for seemingly no reason at work. Like I feel like it's just the same work for, the most part, as it ever was, but customer service is driving me crazy and as a naturally not very social person, I feel like I'm not getting a break like I need. I have more to say, but I can't even finish this thought but it takes so much effort to word it.
Same. 😢 I was never good enough and they never told me what I did wrong. I got fired so often. Always when I thought I was doing ok... Scary how you figured me out 100% without ever meeting me ❤
I've been following you recently because my son is autistic we are in Mexico and while I was seeing you more and more I suddenly noticed that 😮 in this video you're describing my worklife! And what I felt like you're describing whenever I worked. I'm almost 54 yrs old and I was recently diagnosed yet when I see you and hear you I see myself totally. Finally I see why I felt myself as so different. Thank you thank you thank you!
I loved this! It made me feel less alone. NT's give absolutely no empathy or support when it's hard to get a job, or when I'm in one that doesn't pay well enough to pay all my bills with. In fact, when I found out the employment statistics on us, I told my mom. I was expecting a reaction of at least a tiny bit of sympathy, (since it was an explanation that should have resulted in some understanding) But instead, she said, "You could be in the 15%." 🙄 Right. Like I haven't been trying to be since I was 16 years old... I was 59 at the time, and I figured if I hadn't got into the 15% by then, it probably means I can't.
i'm 27 and i've decided to stop talking to my family. i tried to kill myself and they forced me into the ER where they locked me up for a week without communicating with me when i'd be let out. turns out there's a cool down period when you take pills and they didn't think to let me know that i was trapped there because of that. they didn't tell me anything, just put me in a room where they watched me piss and shit and my only entertainment was a tv with basic cable. i couldn't have my phone. i couldn't even have a book. anyway, i finally get out and none of my family calls me to check up on me, no one visits, no one cares. i'm done with them. they forced me into the hospital and now i have this huge bill and debt collectors after me meanwhile i can barely hold down a job or take care of myself or clean my apartment. one time someone came in my apartment to change my air filter and because my dishes had piled up they reported me to the landlord and they told me they would evict me if i didn't clean my kitchen. like what the fuck lol. anyway. it's nice reading all these comments because i really relate to everyone here
@@soupstoreclothing I'm sorry you're going through that. I have a very similar story. It really sucks that people who don't struggle so hard with life totally don't understand. Instead of locking us up with loonies, it would be nice if they'd at least talk to us about the reasons we tried to "leave" and offer some help. I felt so humiliated when my house looked like a hoarder's lair and anyone had to come in to do repairs or whatever. My landlord told me my house was a mess once. Like I wasn't aware of that. 🙄 Really. I can work or I can keep my dishes washed and my house decent. I don't have enough energy to do both. There may be an organization that will help you with your bills. I get help with my bills now, and my house looks better. I hope you can find some assistance.
@@raven4090 How does one find assistance? Please explain to me like I’m 5. I’m in a rural town where disregarded and I think they think I can’t be autistic because I talk. I’m not baptist so they think I’m scary? I need help with bills sooooo much. I’m very frugal and my income is about 10k a year and that’s impossible anymore
@@heidiburton929 I'm so sorry you're being treated that way. I hate it that people assume we don't need help just because we are able to ask for it. I live in a rural town, too. They have one place here that handles applications for assistance for housing (Section 8) assistance in paying utilities, and emergency rent payments. You may have a similar place in your town. You might be able to find out at your courthouse? Or the library? If no answer comes from that I'd Google "government assistance and housing for low income people," and see how to apply for their programs. You should be able to get SNAP "food card" to buy food with. Section 8 housing assistance or a similar agency will make sure you are paying no more than 30% of your income for housing. Frees up more of your money for bills and necessities. Getting disability for autism if you're "high functioning" is difficult, but if you can find a lawyer who will defer payment until you're approved, you could try that. I had a lawyer help me get disability. I found out the government's vocational rehab job training programs ignore autistic people who are considered "high functioning," in Montana. You could try getting on the waiting list in your state and see if they'll help you get a better paying job. Don't get excited until it happens, though. It didn't happen for me. After 6 years of waiting for training, I told them to take me off the list. I hope that info can at least get you started down a happier path. It's pretty much all I can think of so far.
I’m an AuDHD therapist who owns a private solo practice. I work primarily with other neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ people and I love it. I will say that the journey to get here was LONG-I had a whole different career before, and then becoming a therapist was its own undertaking. But I am so overjoyed to be working for myself and setting my own boundaries. I work four days a week and take 4-6 weeks off of work per year. Being a therapist in general is hard but I’ve slowly amassed a caseload that works for me without taxing me too much. I vet new clients carefully too. I can’t do just one job though, so I also work part time as an accountant (harkening back to old career), and do a ton of creative stuff on the side. I wanna get into voice acting too. Lots more I could say about this but yeah, in short, that’s what I do :)
The ONE "reasonable workplace accommodation" I've asked for is that feedback be "timely, direct, and specific.". In the last 2 years at my job, I have NEVER had that happen.
![ผัวเถื่อน - ยูริ โตเกียวมิวสิค [ OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/P08ORRVDGl8/mqdefault.jpg)
"I needed very specific instructions; if I was not super clear on what I needed to do, I would freeze up and be unable to proceed because I know that my assumptions are always wrong"
That's a nice way to describe my entire life
Same
Sounds familiar. 😅 Most of the time it is more like: I do not know what a good decision is. Some of my ideas actually might be good, but most of the time, I am overwhelmed with possibilities.
Same here, I don't know if i am autistic yet or not but I definetly share some of the autistic traits and what you are talking about. Per example one of the problems at my job is that my boss dosen't comunicate that much and sometimes refuses to answer my questions about how he wants things done. This leads to me not always knowing what to expect nor know what he wants exactly or how to comunicate properly with him and while most of the time it ends up well almost every day there is something that ends up happening wich he dosen't take well. Per example yesterday he wanted me to find and fill a spray but since there were many times before in wich he asked those minor task for later and some in wich he wanted me to do it at the time and he would tell me so I ended up thinking he wanted me to do it later. To all of that add that the last week he told me that I needed to clean the room I was in quicker (being the reason i wasn't able to do it those days as quick that I had many other things to do before that and couldn't get time to get to it) and that he has told me that when I start some task I need to finish it then I am eager to think that i should finish cleaning before doing those minor tasks. It turned out that he wanted me to do it at the moment and when I told him I didn't find it he didn't like and got angry at me. First because he wanted me to do it at the beggining and secondly because he understood that when I said I didn't find I was trying to lie to him and make him think I did look for it even while a few minutes after he confronted me again to check if I lied to him I told him from the very beggining that I didn't look for it at the time and that I didn't meant that. Nothing, he was very adamant that I did lie to him, that it meant what he said and that it "screws" him a lot (in lack of nicer words). Thing is that I tried many times to comunicate with him to try to know exactly what he wants or how he wants it but in some cases he ignores it or when something happens (wich is almost every day) I try the best to have that in mind in order to avoid similar things the same day and to try to follow the logic but there is always something happening outside that mindset that is either new or oposite to that logic so I can't really be prepared or know what to encounter and how. It is something that destroys me mentally and I can't really unburden or focus in order to do the job properly nor I can really rest from it, I don't know how much longer I will be able to work like that or how much toll it will have on me
Exactly
@@Dario-uj6qo To me, that sounds pretty autistic - and abusive from the boss's side.
I have issues dealing with dishonesty in the workplace. I had a manager tell me in front of a morning meeting that i was the reason for the entire group having chair privilledges removed. He claimed I was sitting at my desk talking on my phone as the reason. In my logical mind, I know how i can resolve the situation. I pull out my phone and pull up the call log for that day. The manager and everyone at the meeting saw i recieved and made no calls for the entire day. I was fired the next day. I cant ignore injustice and that always gets me in trouble in and out of work.
At least it's better than spending your whole working life with a bunch of phonies and questioning your own integrity - something most people don't understand these days. If something doesn't work, gotta keep searching or make your own work at your own pace. Better to make your own dreams instead of paying for others, and that's what companies do.
I myself struggle to understand what you did wrong
@kimorox813 I proved my manager was lying in front of coworkers. The company had to make a choice. Keep the lying manager or the employee willing to stand up for themselves. They got rid of the biggest threat.
Haha same thing happened to me I stuck up for my co workers when they were being shouted at for no reason. This girl was so young and working 2 jobs and going to university and we were being shouted at for standing in a shoe shop with no customers even though we’d already done everything they’d asked.
Another time I walked out because the a wedding venue only had one Hoover! And we were being shouted at for not finishing quick enough.
Another time I just left because they were too abusive and they begged me to stay.
Another time I walked out because a customer shouted at me to find what they wanted even though I was just meant to be on the till, and it was during Christmas rush! I was only 15.
I can’t cope with these stupid injustices. The shoe shop the boss would scream at you like an abusive parent if you couldn’t find a shoe quick enough.
I really have tried but I get completely overwhelmed and I start feeling suicidal.
I was a manicurist and I would drive home when I didn’t have clients and sleep because it’s the only way I could cope and then drive back. I did this twice a day sometimes 😢
Even when employed, I feel like a lot of autistic people are employed in jobs that don't reflect their level of ability, either due to lack of support coping with burnout from the pressure of jobs with more responsibility, or just because a lot of NT people put their trust in others based on how well they socialise or a general "vibe" rather than what skills they bring to the table. Being able to "network" brings a lot of opportunities as well.
In my experience theres layers of compounding issues. At every job you have a butt kisser. Atleast one. So, you already have this social politicking layer. Oftentimes theres cattyness and cutthroat layers to this most people dont notice, wouldnt characterize those ways if they did(theyd interpret it as a one off, however these arent one offs. In any productive environment there relative potential positions, but because of human nature and psychology these things repeat with great consistency across all kinds of fields)
Furthermore, managers and bosses have a "take what you can" mentality.
When you work hard, it isnt appreciate necessarily, especially if you dont have the social skills to schmooze with the boss afterwards when they go to talk to you(or have any interest in doing so)
Oftentimes the boss will want to use you, either promoting you, or taking credit for your comparably focused work ethic(something I for one have never had any concern about or interest in.... I care about doing a high quantity of high quality work.... I dont care about social credit or want it. I dont want 3x extra responsibilities for a pittance shekels, and if your paying me as much as the guy Im standing next to for doing the same job and 99% of the time I do 2X as much work, but now after youve gotten used to it and gassed me up, I occasionally need to do only 1.5 times the work of the guy next to me.... WHY TF ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT WHAT IM DOING.
I DIDNT ASK FOR A PROMOTION. I didnt brag to anyone else. The reason your talking to me is because you know harassing me will cause me to try harder, and the guy next to me doesnt care.... BUT QUIT FUCKING TREATING YOUR EMPLOYEES LIKE SOMETHING TO BE WRUNG DRY.....
Because of autistic peoples particular issues, I think these and even other layers of compounding things all make it not only hard but nearly impossible to do in the conventional way that is pressured onto most people.
They need to be allowed to play to their strengths and consider their handicaps without being harrassed and treated like garbage for it by people who just want everyone to do the things that theyve been told they have to do(and probably wouldnt even if theyd drop the sick social harassment nonsense that is so society wide and pervasive)
I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder. I can be social but I don’t really care about that and I care more about getting the job done.
Yeah, I feel I have way more potential than the level I'm at with my job. Yet, because of my social deficiencies, I am unable to advance or find a more suitable job.
Because jobs require soft skills and strategizing with coworkers, which is something autistic adults have trouble with.
@@RickGrimes-tr3ug Not all jobs do. Furthermore, MANY people have moderate social skills, but NO work skills, but they get favored even when they actively avoid work and dont do any quality work, so the allegation that this is usually or primarily an extension of requirements for proper or efficient function are just totally dishonest.
There are many jobs where autistic people are consistently much much much better workers, but theyre still not favored or even tolerated not because they cant do the work as well(In the context were discussing, were talking about jobs autistic people ARE better at, at least in general or on average)
There is a massive minority of the working population... say 20%, who produce either nothing or next to nothing, but they function as social allies.
Which might have selfish value to specific individuals, but has no larger value, and is in fact a huge detriment to final outcomes for everyone involved.
Sometimes what you mentioned is the issue. However more often than not its not the case at all, and there are still many jobs autistic people can do just fine.
In those cases when people say the kinds of things your saying, your prioritizing social jockeying over actual ability and productive value....
And that say alot about you.
And everyone else who would for an instant even consider taking the same position
WINNING THE LOTTERY is my DREAM JOB!!!
Lmfao I fantasize about this all the time
I could do that job. If karra gives me the numbers, i'll let you know.
Yeah, I'd never leave the house anymore and would live simply but comfortably forever.
Only 15% of _diagnosed_ autistic people are employed, but the majority of autistic people have never been diagnosed, so we don't know what percentage of autistic people are actually employed(counting all of those who have never been diagnosed).
Yeah, also which of the 100% that is accounted for is autistic people who could work (with accomondations) or which of it is high support needs autistic people who need parental assistance to survive day to day, are non verbal, non communicative, etc? I doubt it's only 15% of ASD 1 types, but if we incude ASD 3, I'd expect the majority of them not to be able to work.
And if a majority were never diagnosed, it's likely that the ones who were diagnosed tended to be the ones experiencing the most issues, which would imply that the ones who have been undiagnosed would be somewhat more likely to have employment.
I was coming here to say that.
I can’t get a job, no one will hire me where I live and when I do get a job ppl treat me really poorly, bully me and take advantage of me etc
@@foljs5858employment statistics like this only apply to people who are in the workforce (those who have a job or are seeking a job).
This reminds me of the "autistic compensation principle". Its this theory I made up that explains that if you are an autistic without an intellectual disability, then you must compensate for your social shortcomings by other means in order to live a similar life to an NT. If you want to be better at dating you must compensate with extreme levels of social exposure therapy and practicing and also being conventionally attractive, etc. If you want to be better in a work environment you need to go full out, reading books on fitting in the work place, getting therapy, practicing, etc. Its really annoying how others dont have to do all this yet they put us on the same expectations as them
That's interesting hypothesis. It's something I noticed in myself and in my daughter - since I was in late elementary, I've had this thing where if there is an issue that others seems to intuit, then I needed to go get all the books and study it deeply. I remember being around 11 and reading marriage books my parents had, for example, cause the idea I could just do it on my own was just not a thought for me. My daughter's wishlists are often full of books, and all the nonfiction ones are similarly her trying to study her way to compensate for what seems natural to others.
@@dehn6581 that similiarity between you and your daughter being obsessive in trying to control the world via reading about it is very sweet to me
that applies to almost everything in life i would say.we have to compensate one thing with the other or try to so that we do as good as someone without the problem or as close to that person as possible
Up to you the games you let them play at you.
It's scary... young high-masking autistic people with low self-esteem make easy targets for abusers or Taters.
I’m a massage therapist. I work for myself. I work on one person at a time. I am in complete control of my schedule. It’s quiet in my massage office. I can put all my focus on helping a person’s pain. No other job works for me.
I am in need of a career change due to extreme burnout and I’ve been thinking that massage therapy might be for me. This was my sign to look into it further. Thank you :)
I wish I could figure out something that would work for me. A lot of what you said sounds good but I’m just not comfortable touching people or having to interact one on one. Did you experience that at all? I sometimes wonder if I could get used to it or I should just accept that it’s not going to work for me
Good choice. I'm a programmer. That's much more complicated and stressful. My wife has a massage practice and she loves it.
I passed on my dream position within the audio department on film sets because the thought of touching strangers to wire them up freaks me out.
@@grinningtiki220 that must have been heartbreaking. Have you found something else?
I’m not diagnosed with autism but I know I am autistic. I had the visor thing and the menu thing literally happen to me. I worked in a corporate setting and really struggled to make friends because I can’t make small talk and concentrate on all the work I had to do. I also find masking so exhausting, yesterday I had an interview for a college place, I was friendly and personable and then I had to go home and quietly crochet in my room for hours until my heart rate calmed down. It’s so hard being like this (and being paranoid about being clocked because I find it hard to talk and make eye contact). It’s good to know other people out there get me and I’m not alone. Big love for this channel xxx
not made for this chaotic and unpredictable world
I feel this 😭 I'm not even diagnosed anything and I relate to most of her videos, I feel like such a freak like why can't I do what everyone else can??
@@dianaismedo you know who you are?
Whereas I have ADHD so I definitely was built for chaos 😂
Sweetie this world ain't built for us!! They are not ready for our otherworldly creativity and success!!
@AutomaticDuck300 my daughter has adhd and ever since she was a kid she would cackle and say "yes, chaos!" 😂
I'm a 50yo autistic man, self-diagnosed (I mean, I have all the symptoms, come on!), and I've struggled with employment my entire adult life. After spending 6 years in the Marines (I kept my mouth shut, that's how I made it through), getting two graduate degrees (and nearly getting fired from a TA-ship due to burnout and misunderstanding what the professor wanted), getting fired from a number of crappy blue collar jobs (same reason), having a cool job as a science librarian (but not getting along with my uber-neurotypical director), I findly found the perfect job, working as a legal assistant on the federal workforce. My work is repetitive and clear-cut, not a lot of public contact, I get to listen to music while doing my tasks, and it pays reasonably well. I know that this is the best I'm ever going to do at this point, but it's all about working toward that retirement now!
I'm glad you have found something that works for you! The hardship that compounds with a missing diagnosis is unimaginable. I wish you a happy and restful retirement with a smooth road leading you to it.
I'm a 52 year old autistic man and I find myself longing for retirement every day I'm in work. It literally cannot come soon enough as the workplace is becoming harder and harder (more exhausting & stressful !) to tolerate the older I become. I'm rapidly running out of "spoons" !
@@bonwrentaylor2743 I'm 53, and still doing part time jobs. It gets really annoying looking for jobs as you grow older. As an IT tech, I sense interesting times are here mostly due to AI tech. I still wonder about it being positive or negative effect on our society. It could end up both ways.
I am full time employed but i never understood why I found it so exhausting. Ive had two periods of long term sickness (about 6 weeks each time) due to mental burnout, and I'm finally getting my ASD assessment next month. Its so difficult existing in a society that expects you to function and work on the same level as neurotypicals
There is a proverb about two people carrying heavy loads of same weight for the same distance. The first one went all the way without resting, the second one put down the load and rested every now and then. In the end the second one was much more tired than the first one. For me it is ok to work harder and even longer than standard expectation, but to be back at full power I need longer uninterrupted rest. On some other channel about autism someone suggested seasonal jobs to have longer rest for the rest of the year. That is something to think about. The issue here is that it cost a lot of energy to prepare and make a change.
Why is their standard okay? It’s not, it’s unhealthy and unsustainable. NT standards cause mental health issues. Also our capitalist society is unsustainable and unrealistic. Nature and humans need Rest.
I dont think that is made for " neurotypicals" either.
More like they not trounced as much.
99.999% ppl + have 0 empathy they are emotionally flat as sea
You mean... the "typical" - "not my job", "not today", "5% speed", "2% efficiency", "shit talk about others", "insecure laughter", "faking a job" level "normal"? Because... why are we even working if product and productivity - mean nothing to no one?...
31 here. Late diagnosed autistic and adhd. I resonated SO HARD with this video it's insane. Unfortunately I just don't know how to help myself now. I have ended up trapped in a nightmare. I am a single mum of two very young and definitely neurodivergent kids. I cannot feed myself most days. Managing to brush my teeth is a huge milestone of the day. Just maintaining a job (partime) and doing my best for my kids takes EVERYTHING from me and I can barely make it through a day. Constantly calling off from work, the fear of them hating me and firing me for being so unreliable (but starting out so amazing). The stress of feeling that I am letting everyone around me down. Feeling so goddamn stupid for not being able to just GO BRUSH MY DAMN TEETH. Yet no one sees this. Not on the outside. Because on those rare oocassions when I make it outside my front door and my mask is fully in place I seem like a smiley, happy, put together young woman who just has the usual struggles of being a single mum.
God sees everything. He loves you. Get alone with him, it’s the best place to be when life seems out of hand. But you’re in his hands.
@@RoseCityRemnantGod has been the only one i’ve had in my life that has looked out for me in every way, im 100% sure i wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that support. He’s the only one who understands me and sees who i truly am, everyone else just projects whatever they want unto you then become upset or call you sneaky if you remain true to yourself and not to their version of you. (sorry for hijacking OP)
this sounds so much like me. on the outside people see me as having everything together and being hyper independent, i’ve had people question me “how do you do it?” etc. little do they know the boulders i have to push up a mountain on the daily. not sure if this will help with the brushing teeth, but what has helped me immensely is when i use the bathroom in the morning, i tell myself (5 tiny mins, then i can have [snack] [drink] and i’ll be free of the tormenting repetitive thoughts of ‘you didn’t brush, your teeth will rot, my mouth tastes terrible’)
i KNOW it isn’t easy, but wanted to share what has been helping me be consistent. i kinda force myself to become robot mode, like i temporarily put my mask back on and “perform”, but this time the performance is for me only and for my well being. hope that made sense.
It broke me, the corporate world broke something inside me as an autistic person and it's been years without recovering...don't know if I ever will
I can believe that .. I hope that you can feel peace again..
the last job I had i loved! put me in a severe depression when they fired me after my grandma passed away.
I have worked for a company for nearly 30 years & nearly always been on a disciplinary, I had high attention to detail and good at the job but the bosses want faster, faster, fase all responsibility to you, achieve goals, you're safely, vehicle servicing, stock, etc, basically if anything go's wrong it's your fault, must be verbal communication to them and you get there interpretation E mail answer back through HR. .comments back like they don't care about your safely they have a business to run. After a small accident, indruy from rushing to meet targets, 2 years on still can't get a reasonable adjustment. Just higher targets. Out come permanent injury Mental health issues suicidel, depression, home life in bits and know where to turn. Don't even know another Autistic person in real life I think it would have taken me a week to make this video even if I knew what I was doing. Massive burn out. Just get me a comfy coffin. :-(
Go to Jesus as he is very much real and willing to heal your wounds and brokenness. The Creator of the Universe tells us himself his deepest desire to be united to Him and one with him in soul, body, mind, and spirit forever without us losing our individual personality and characteristics by being one with Him. God desires you, especially in our brokenness to embrace us and make us happy and whole.
Fuck the slave system and fuck corporate America
Sorry to read that, I feel the same :( Corporate world is so brutal, even more so when you don't fit the mold...
I’m an electrician and I vibe a lot with what you’re saying, my life almost revolves around my career, I have hobbies and do my best to perform them but my job is so mentally exhausting I find myself often using my weekend to calm down and come to. I often plan a lot for my weekend and end up not doing a single thing I wanted to do out of sheer tiredness
I'm not an electrician, but I feel the same way.
Lol I’m also an electrician. Pretty much any trade job would have been good but electrician seemed the most sanitary.
Yes and when people ask you what ur doing for the weekend and most the time im so tired I just want to relax and do a few chill things to get my energy back up by monday
Omg YES those weekends, unfulfilled plans, recovering from exhaustion. Ugh so relatable!! This comments sections is awesome! It's hard to find people around that understands
employment is a strange world for autistic folk. i have no idea what i'm meant to be doing or what the point of it is until i've been there a solid year. it feels like nobody explains the rules or reasons, even (and especially) during induction periods. i couldn't even be 'good' at my first retail job because i wasn't told how to be. i thought tidying the customer area was giving me a gold star (hypothetically) but all the staff just thought i was being 'cute.'
as an aside, my favourite jobs are the most repetitive ones (activities most would call boring), like restocking shelves, stock takes, even cleaning. and unfortunately, those are often the least well-paid jobs 😞
I also like repetitive things! They are so calming and soothing to do haha most ppl where I work make big drama when we have to do repetitive work, when I just enjoy it so much in silence haha
Have you tried looking into working on an Assembly line somewhere? Depending on the location and industry there could be decent paying jobs that have a ton of repetition.
What are the jobs MOST valued by society? The top 1% of entertainers that provide laughter or deep understanding and mimicking of the human condition. RELATING/UNDERSTANDING. Great sales people help the other person "feel" like they are receiving a solution to a problem. This is valuable SERVICE that is pretty hard to define or understand. In fact it's rather mysterious why such people are paid so much.
Our value is related to what we provide to others. Service. Just existing/subsisting isn't valuable (extraordinary actions that others would exchange additional resources for). Filling a role that is easily interchangeable, repetitive (stocking) is less valued. Social skills are difficult to develop, even among neurotypicals, but often customer service jobs (like the returns/complaints department) are not paid well either! That's a highly stressful and difficult job, but a person is usually paid for the stress or anxiety a job causes them personally. This is an important lesson!
You are not paid based on how much it costs you (emotionally or physically).
Society also values HIGHLY SKILLED labor that other people don't have the patience or interest to develop, which is often the type of market where autistic people shine (classic computer science/programmers). This is SOLVING a more complex or very undesirable problem for other people. This often does not take place in low level standard corporate jobs either (making things very efficient or effective in your particular area).
There's also the exchange of value between great degrees of responsibility for many other people's lives/jobs (how easy it is to get sued for failure). A doctor gets paid well because they invest a great portion of their life to learning skills and info and have the lives of others at stake based on their success or failure. It is the same type of value with government leaders, airline pilots and structural engineers. Less so with teachers and bus drivers (they do have lives/futures at stake, but require less skill and training or see less immediate direct results).
This is also why it is getting very tiresome to be asked to tip everywhere, because additional money is being asked for the basic service.
Hope that helps you look for patterns of what might be paid better and why.
i feel you, my first job was retail and while i heard so many people talk about it with disdain, i genuinely loved keeping everything tidy, organized, ready to go and from the start of the shift to its end, i did not stop walking around, checking the isles. i was constantly on my feet, making sure everything was well stocked and looked nice on the shelves, ran around boxing unused hangers or taking them out when they were needed, all the finicky stuff literally nobody cared about. i was let go the next day not even an hour into my shift, because i made everyone else's work ethic look bad, especially after going for overtime my very first day (mind you it was because one of my coworkers' child was sick and had high fever and there was nobody that wold cover the last hour of her shift). i also like jobs that require repetitiveness, like restocking, pricing, cleaning, they scratch the right spot in my brain :D
HO-LY-*SHIT* 🤯
For the first half of the video, I laid wide-eyed, mouth-opened, hand-in-haired in awe of how perfectly synonymous the struggles you mentioned were with my life.
The whole video was actually this accurate for me, but I had no idea that the unemployment rate was so high due to these complications.
For as much of my life as I can remember, I thought I was weird, even within the autism spectrum.
I can't say this newfound knowledge solves my issues, but it sure makes me feel quite a bit less of an anomaly.
Yeah she definitely has the most relatable story to me by far, I really thought I was just weird but she and others who have commented have gone through literally the exact same thing.
Now we just need to find someone who’s gone through it and figured out the solution…
I think the % might be higher. We're talking about 15% of diagnosed autistics, but how many undiagnosed are/have been working most of their adult life? I'm myself late diagnosed, and I have been working for 35 years now. My diagnosis did - finally - explain why it was so exhausting, though, and why I could never really fit in.
Undiagnosed autistics are almost all "high functioning" while diagnosed autistics are mostly "lower functioning ".
So, undiagnosed autistics should be doing better, employment wise? Does that make sense?
That is the data that is most current but I 100% agree that it’s probably higher due to the amount of autistics that are undiagnosed. If I were to guess what it was more realistically I would say maybe 30% of all diagnosed and undiagnosed autistics are employed full time. I would love for there to be a new and in more depth study on this. I think that data point is from the 2010’s
There's also ton of long term unemployed people who are fruitlessly looking for work and aren't diagnosed with anything, so...
@@anon3746I am undiagnosed, my country doesn’t allow diagnosis, and I have to work, and I’m barely staying alive. It’s not easier for us.
@@anon3746That's a big generalization. Most autistic people I know are low support needs and have struggled with working full time. Most are employed in some way but not all full time
Stop apologizing for your behavior. I'm tired of everybody acting like we're monsters if we don't behave like the rest of the hive. Base-level respect is all that should be required of you. It's not your job to entertain everyone at work.
I'm a part time pastry cook now because full time always expects me to be a yes man. As a part timer, I get my rest and I don't have to go above and beyond to bosses because they simply don't care about me. My chef is nice enough to respect my limits and eventhough I earn lesser, I am alot happier.
My dream job is decorating cakes at a bakery even though I have 0 experience hahaha. This sounds amazing!! How did you get into working as a pastry cook?
@@morgaanfoley it was kinda luck because I was at a mental institution and this other girl from the ward became really good friends and she was a culinary student. But when she died and the hospital was helping me look for a job, I chose food training to remember my friend and now I work in a pastry kitchen 😂 but thanks to her, I found a new special interest.
@@madscientistmewow i didn’t expect this kind of response. What a story. Happy for you!
I've been fired from several jobs in my life due to my autism. I was diagnosed several years ago at age 52. I've been called everything from "quirky" to "psychotic". When I was 17 I worked as a shipping clerk and all-around errand runner for a small company that makes custom parts for the theatrical industry. The owner told me that he was, "going to put me in charge of maintenance of the air-compressor." (Used for air-brushing parts.) After several months, it gave out due to lack of maintenance, so he fired me. There are several important points that made me feel he was derelict: 1. I knew nothing about how to maintain an air compressor and assumed that he would teach me. 2. I was terrified of it and assumed that once I learned how, these fears would subside. 3. "Going to" is the future tense. Why did he use the future tense on something that was meant to occur immediately? The "going to" made me believe he was planning to train me at some time. He was not.
That's just bad management. He didn't ask you if you knew how to maintain an air compressor before saying he was going to put you in charge. No need to blame yourself for that.
I think he wanted someone to blame it on.
im at like the end of high school and the thought of having to enter the workforce in something that isnt a special interest kinda terrifies me lmao 💀
even if it was a special interest i feel like i would eventually be burned out from it, plus my special interests wouldnt really give me job security either which is a worrying thought
i just hope by some miracle society suddenly becomes more friendly to autistic people
My special interests also don’t give me job security but so far I’m doing alright but I see myself having to switch careers multiple times in my adult life in order to make a livable wage and not burn myself out
Hi! I've been in the workforce for 11½ years now, and I've been trying to get a job in special interest-related things...only to realize that I would rather have those as personal/passion projects. As I'm switching fields finally, one thing I'm trying out is looking for actions I like doing (that may or may not be related to my autism) and finding a more reliable/sustainable job as close to an interest or special interest as possible. For instance, I like sorting and organizing things, and I enjoy books (though got out of touch with it). So I'm trying to get a job at a library that at least involves the sorting and organizing of books. Maybe that formula could be of some help? Hoping for all the best!
Start with part-time employment. I found dishwashing (at restaurants, or in food service, say, at an old peoples’ home) worked well when I was young. Jobs working with other disabled people, such as my recent stint as a special needs school van driver, or as a teacher’s aide or sheltered workshop assistant, make a lot of sense, as does working with preschoolers, who are a lot less judgmental than adults, or even older kids. Good luck! May your dreams come true! ☺️
Truthfully, it is really hard. I don't have a big support system, but even so, their help has been life changing. I hope you will be able to find people who can help you like that too.
As Clover said, yeah, better leave you interests as hobbies. Maybe try something similar to your special interest. I for example studied 3d bcs it was computers and something artistic, things I cant live with day by day, but it was also something in an area I don't care thaat much. Now I really like 3d, maybe now yeah is my special interest, although my special interest are still reading, writing, spanish and anime stuff, things I also do every day, but just as a hobby. Like I dont need the feel to do 3d in my free time at all xD but I really enjoy it when I do it bcs it has things I like. Just saying this cause a job at the end is a job, you have to enjoy it, but I think is healthy too to not make it your entire life, also too not ruin your special interest with the pressure of work. I know I wouldnt enjoy writing as much if I did it comercially for example
I lucked out so much with my job. I work part time in a small publishing house as an accountant. 15 hours a week, I can't handle more. I can come in later or not at all if I can't human one day, no one keeps count of how many days I've missed, because they trust me to keep track of that and if I need to leave in the middle of work because of an overload, everyone tells me it's okay and to rest. I can just wear my noise cancelling headphones all day if I need to, no one bats an eye. It's so common for me to finish my daily workload way before I leave that sometimes, I just read for the rest of my stay unless someone else asks me to help with some designing or wording stuff. I am valued, my coworkers tell me they wouldn't know what to do without me. I am so incredibly grateful for this, but I also believe that this is literally the only job I can handle and if it wasn't for this, I'd be permanently unemployed.
I can't deal with a full time job. Ugh, i just can't do it. If i have to do anything for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, i get sick of it in no time and it doesn't take long before i slip into depression. It's the same cycle over and over again. I'm glad that you have found something that works for you!
as an autistic guy who's less than 2 years older than you and has given up on employment after years of mockery and straight up abuse from managers, this video and your experiences literally explains so much of my own life. i'm so glad i found this video.
I had that happen to me, I would follow instructions to the letter at a retail job while also performing significantly above the level of my coworkers, so management would regularly assign me to perform other things which I happily did only to be repeatedly berated and punished by the upper management for not being in the places they expected me to be or falling behind when I was assigned elsewhere because my coworkers combined were performing at about 40-50% of what I was doing.
I am also known to not filter what I am thinking while speaking honestly so calling them out on their bullshit meant other people were internally promoted while I got my hours repeatedly cut.
It took me a while to figure out that most people are self-serving when they tell you things like "give 110%". The advice is given with no regard for your best interest. Remembering that has served me well! You are correct in not simping for executives. I have been on over 300 interviews. You learn it through sheer repetition.
Personally I loathe how much of the work environment is focused on social interaction. I'm here to do my job, not to make friends, and I don't understand the need for social chit-chat in the breakroom. I've always excelled academically and managed to mask my way through job interviews, but once I entered the workforce I started getting burnouts every year and I didn't know why I was struggling when others weren't. I was constantly exhausted after the workday and got crazy meltdowns when I got home, and I just thought it was like that for everyone. Then I got diagnosed with autism and suddenly realized that my "normal" is very far from actual normal, and other people don't go home from work and cry uncontrollably because they're so exhausted... currently wondering how I'm going to live the rest of my life, because it's increasingly starting to look like I can't continue in my current occupation.
That's been a huge bane of most of my jobs. I just wanted to do my job of setting up files and sending them to the printer. Yet every single one of them has tried to push me into sales or having to constantly be on the phone with people. Then of course because I don't know how to instinctively make friends, I'm always the bad guy in the end.
I just can't deal with that.
I worked just for one week in a office and I just couldnt make it.
Now I am working from home, I think it is the only viable way for neurodivergent ppl. Yeah, I have some zooms, but it is just talking, no cam. I usually just mute myself while they do socials and I just talk when it is related to the job, or just my part of the job, sometimes I would like to talk more but it is difficult so yeah. They think I hate them lol but it is just that I don't have much to say haha
I have all the symptoms of High Functioning Autism but I don't have an official diagnosis yet. This year I will turn 60.
OK, a long time ago, I figured that I would work as an elementary school teacher because in education the profit motive with bosses is not there. And with little kids (k - 3rd) (or top schools upper grades) is much simpler and in my experience generally good. Kids (people) with learning disabilities is part of the working environment. So having around 10 credits done, I went through college at night, got my Bachelors, and went through post graduate credential school. Right after getting my 4 year degree, I started working as a sub teacher and failed a required test 9 times. Although I have been a sub for over 20 years, I haven't given up and, I'm determined to pass the test this year. My university already told me that after passing the test, they'll recommend me for a credential.
Not everybody is me, I understand. My 2 cents.
One time I was mopping some floors at like 11:30pm just before closing time, and because I had finished early I was chatting with a friend who had walked into the store at the last minute, only for one of the managers to walk up to us and start yelling at me for talking to him, telling me that I wasn't getting paid to stand around. I wasn't even supposed to be cleaning, my job was unloading trucks and I just wanted to kill some downtime.
The job required talking with customers and socializing, but I was regularly reprimanded for doing exactly that.
@@Vanity0666yes this is literally it. Getting told to be more social with others but sometimes you try and talking to others and just get told off. Its such a shitty feeling.
Me having a mental breakdown every year and going back, not because I felt strong enough to, but because I felt I had to.
I developed a habit of super clarifying everything when asked to do something. "Just to be clear, you want me to X" and say it in my own words.
I personally actively refused any extra responsibilities or supervisor positions so that i would not burn myself out. I also have trouble dealing with troublesome coworkers. I have accpeted positions with lower pay to keep me sane. I also seek out physical labor jobs over customer interaction jobs.
crazy relatable
Yeah, people-centric and customer-facing jobs are generally bad for autistic people. Customer service is probably the worst cos of the people you'll have to deal with.
@@spankeyfish I hate customer service and ironically I found being a taxi host surprisingly tolerable.
Fresh air, mostly managing queues, traffic management, noting down taxis skipping the queue etc... Most people don't wanna chat despite being drunk, they just want to go home.
Anyone in the line causing trouble? Just push them into a taxi, not your problem anymore.
People threatening you with violence? If they go through with it, At least in Norway, that is legally considered assault on a police officer as we work with the police. The threat of lengthy jail time is enough to make them reconsider and if they did go through with it, I got other people with me to back me up while we wait for officers to arrive. Overall, pretty safe work, vast majority of people only bark.
Also helps I am a night owl, meaning I was at my A game when I was working.
My uncle worked in tech and he said a lot of people just wanted to code and did so well at it that they got promoted to management and just struggled. I wonder how many of them were autistic...
thank you for raising awareness about autism, we need more people like you in this world
Ive been struggling for years with coming home from work and feeling like im going into a second job. "Do this do that, pay this bill, do your chores, cook dinner, tend to the pet, etc." im so glad i recently got my official diagnosis. i can either work for 8 hours, or i can tend to the reqs of life. but i cannot do both and it has gotten to the point of sheer frustration
I literally pray every day for God to keep me and that I don't take myself out of here.For this same reason my whole life I have just felt like i've had severely less psychological energy than everybody else around me.
I am old and it used to be that two adults got married and lived together, plus often some extended relatives were not so far away. So, one person die not have to handle all the paperwork and bills and physical little this and that of the household. One family couple had the pool, we others helped maintain it, and my grandparents had one handle certain financial matters and the other a different set of financial matters, younger family members helped them out with the home, and they separated who would do the kitchen work and who would do the home repair work.. I think it is very bad how today so many households are singles. In my day even a clear family (as opposed to extended) was stressful for many young couples. I felt sorry for them not having aunts and grandparents around to help out and share responsibilities. Today so many live in tiny apartments and have to do all themselves from cooking to groceries to keeping track of utility bills and that is inefficient.
You complain about having a job and paying a bill. That's selfishness. That's life, enjoy it.
@@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381 Yes I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I'm single and I just feel completely overwhelmed. I have 2 roommates who are wonderful, but they are SUPER busy and only home about 10% of the time because they stay with their family or boyfriends most weekends, and work outside of the house and go to activities afterwards. I've asked them for help when I was desperate, but it usually ends up being days or weeks later that they can assist, so I have mostly wound up having to do things myself if I wanted them to get done. Even shared responsibilities are hard like yard work and replacing bulbs. If a bulb goes out and I don't replace it, it takes them 3 weeks to do it because it's not a priority to most people to have one single bulb out. I understand that, but for me, it bothers me SO much. I cannot handle a dim spot in a room, and especially if it's an exterior light I feel too nervous to not have it on because it makes it hard to see the key hole at night, and I hate the feeling of thinking someone could ambush me as I struggle to put the key in lol. (just mentioning these things because I know my roomies can and should share household responsibilities, but I also can't expect them to cater to my needs if I want to remain in this house and not be resented for having too many "uptight" needs...
My mom has tried to help me from afar, but bless her beautiful heart, it usually ends up just stressing me out more because she starts to panic if she can't figure something out and then apologizes for months afterwards even though I assure her it's ok and at least she tried. It just adds more stress. If she was closer, I think she could help me out a lot though, because it's easier being in the same room together to figure things out. I can't currently move to the town my mom lives in because there are no jobs there in my industry, but I am planning my "escape" there after I graduate school in a few years. (I'm 38 and back in college which is the only thing keeping me alive right now and giving me motivation to get my 100+ list of things to do done slowly but surely.)
@@TheUnshelteredHomeschooler No, I have not been autistic, but I did have a debilitating autoimmune disease for 12 years where I had to drop out of school, and have people take care of me. I had fibromyalgia, arthritis and everyday was a depressive nightmare. I suffered needlessly under doctor's care.
I have also lifted myself out of the mire and am still trying to stay gainfully employed and helping others do the same, including people with autism. I worked for the Department of Fair Employment and Housing and assisted with thousands of cases. Everyone has a sad story, but the ones who continue learning, growing, and have a better attitude have an easier time in life.
Not a single one complained about having a job, but not having a job. That's the reality.
Autistic people don't want to be coddled. Is it kinder to enable people, or give them real help and advice?
OMG! Your explanation of respect with bosses is exactly the issues I had with my dad growing up.
I got diagnosed as Autistic at age 60 in the hospital! I would go from one career to the next, never lasting more than a year. Same things you describe.😀
I’m 40 and only found out I’m Audhd after being in autistic burnout and unable to work for 3 years. I was in restaurants full time and made masking my special interest, without realizing it. I didn’t have any time for my own life and was constantly melting/shutting down outside of work. 🧘🏽♀️
Oh my god.
I am you, but sub retail for restaurants.
I am also 40.
My first job was Wendy's, and I would wipe the chili station down and kept the lobby tables so clean (basically with my tears- i did registers at lunch, and the rush was so bad I would literally just sob as I wiped the tables in the lobby afterward.)
They tried to put me in drive thru because I was very efficient, but my first multiple order I LITERALLY just started spinning in circles, because I would try to get fries amd then the drink and my brain cannot do more than one thing at once, just cannnot- I will wipe stiff down and clean stuff, but the demands of multiple tasks is just something cannot do...
I lasted a month, and dispite the constant sobbing after lunch rush, I kept the counters super SUPER clean and kept everything stocked so well, because that was the ONE thing I could do that didn't make want to die, they actually begged me to stay.
Yeah, no.
I will kill myself before I work food service again.
NOT hyperbole.
I will either kill myself or live on the street, it's not worth the stress...
Be kind to fast food workers, it IS SO MUCH harder than even most neurotypicals let on...
Oh my God. The visor.
Amd the black pants.
I tried, and then I just wore jeans.
I also cannot tuck shirts in, it's beyond uncomfortable, I just couldn't - I would French tuck tge front, and as soon as no one was watching I pulled it out, I CANNOT do tucked shirts, turtle necks or polo shirts, the collars make me want to rip them off, it becomes all I can think about...
The world as it is is not for us.
It would be BETTEF if we made the rules.
I don't care what my fast food worker is wearing.
Not one iota.
The job is already hard enough, without being uncomfortable...
Do you have physical symptoms pain in your burnout
I'm sorry, but my first reaction to learning that masking is your special interest is probably really inappropriate. Namely, that if you mean it, I'm really curious and excited to know what wisdoms you might hold. Does it mean you could be a really good actor? Or a social media personality?
( I understand it's a horrible thing, though, that you weren't able to turn the masking thing off before it was too late D: )
@@Truerealism747 yes. My digestion got a lot worse, as well as my arthritis. It’s as if my self care was being forced into being a priority.
@@Livinginthegrayarea any pain issues
The world needs more people like you to talk about autism
I am autistic too. 15% only have jobs?! That is literally 85% of autistic people have no jobs that is so sad in so many ways
I think part of that statistic even includes underemployment. So even though 15% to potentially only 10% have a job, they might be overqualified for it, and abysmally underpaid.
In Australia, employers are legally allowed to pay intellectually and neurologically disabled employees far below minimum wage. There's been stories surfacing of comorbidly learning disabled autistic people earning less than $4 an hour, for deliberately less than part time, but not low enough work hours to be considered casual. With no tips (cause we don't usually require a tipping culture, but for the disabled individuals especially, we shouldn't need it).
15% are FULL-TIME employed
The correct percentage of employed AP is 22% but it includes those that do: part-time jobs, freelancing, commissions etc.
It's still a shit number especially considering that 77% of the unemployed AP WANTS to work
I think this statistic also does not include people with high support needs. You can have different opinions about that. But to my literal autistic brain this comes off a bit as polishing and already horrific statistic.
@@servadac42 There are many more studies done on this problem , while nearly everyone of them differs from each other, the numbers usually comes down to about 75% of autistic people not being employed
We are in the Age of Aquarius and Global Societal change is inevitable considering the arrival of AI which will help autistic people get help they deserve.
The only requirement being that they open up to this technology and use it to their own advantage
This is my first time hearing about autistic burn out. Wow! The pieces of the puzzle are coming together. Thank you!
But what about the job SEARCH process? "Yeah, we know you took the trouble to make a resume... but you need to do the whole process all over again, for US. You need to spend the next few dozen minutes tediously entering all your resume information into our system. Now, we're absolutely not going to hire you, but we're still going to demand that you burn yourself out applying for a job with us. Because we matter, and you don't. So dance for us."
Oh My God, This is so true! Can we just put this on a sign or add it to the signature note of a cover letter.
I know I’m so sick and tired of it 😂 and also I went on an interview and the manager literally told me he needed to go to the bank…didn’t even apologize and asked if I wanted to wait 30 min or reschedule. Not even kidding. It took 40 min to get there just sad.
Thank you for your video. You described my life and by doing so, you have validated my assertions. Keep doing what you're doing, take care of yourself, you are appreciated.
I was unemployed for 12 years and recently my psychiatrist told me I'm autistic when I was just there trying to get help with my bipolar. I think I interview very poorly cause of my autism and I don't have conversations with people because of my autism so no one would give me a chance.
Hey, I really need to talk to someone who has bipolar and is autistic cuz I have bipolar and I suspect I might be autistic and I'm trying to find a way for it to be assessed so I hope you can reach out to me cuz I feel like it would be very validating to hear from someone who has or is both.
@@BeautyAnarchist I have bipolar and I went to a public hospital after like my first clear manic episode in Australia and the psych told me I'm autistic lol. Im not getting assessed for it so I can't help you really.
@@NeonSloaney It's okay! I was just hoping to chat with someone who had both
@@BeautyAnarchist bipolar symptoms and psychotic symptoms turn out to be pretty prevalent in autistic people. Like 30 percent common. Schizophrenia and bipolar and epilepsy a few others are really prevalent in autistic people
@@NeonSloaney OMG thanks!
Totally relatable video. A little over a decade ago, I was desperate for a job, so I applied for a position in a corporate 9 to 5. But I actually had a friend help me answer the weird online test questions (lots of crazy math questions even though the job didn't require the use of math) and then with the social range questions I just made sure to never pick the middle numbers. For the phone interview, my friend prepared a script for me to use, and for some reason, everyone on the phone line was super impressed. On the day of my interview, the hiring manager showed me around the office and said that my results of the test were incredible, and I was provided an offer letter by HR that same day. As someone who 100% lacked executive function skills, I somehow managed to barely survive 3 years before I saved up enough money to leave and start my own business. Now I'm much happier.
I’m autistic and employed… I lucked out because I love science and that’s where I work now.
There’s enough of us in this field that it’s not too bad. Working in healthcare, there’s very specific instructions for what should be done and you cannot deviate.
Our skills work really well here at all levels.
ETA-I was deeply masked and as a minority woman I have to code switch a lot.
Im SO HAPPY you found a good job for you!! I have heard the sciences are good for autistics. I wish I understood science I love learning about it but I was never good at it in school
@@morgaanfoley I do bounce in and out of employment/and going back to school. I’m in pharmacy school now. I made peace with having high student loan debt
Also I love your content. I’m 40 and coming back from serious burnout and
Healthcare seems to be a good fit for autistic people, I'm a psychiatric support worker and I'm one of five autistic staff - my manager even said that if I'm autistic then we could do with somr more autistic people working there!
Yes same here. Special interest in Tech. 22 years employed. Before that had decade of mixed employment and unemployment. Really the stuff I do wasn't something I could get educated in when I was just out high school. But once it was I took off like rocket.
@@laurencewinch-furness9450 there’s not enough people with mental illness working in Psychiatry. I think lived experience is important to being effective
I’m sure you’re able to show them a level of compassion that makes the difference
This hit close to home. The experience you described is very similar to mine. Thank you for saying it out loud and explaining it so clearly. ❤
In my 20’s, I worked at a restaurant as a hostess. The table numbers and arrangement were so confusing and I kept seating people in the wrong order according to where the waitstaff were assigned. At one point, the manager asked us to move our cars to another area, and I literally drove away and never came back. That was on my first day. At another job, the office was so unorganized with piles of paperwork everywhere. I was so confused about how to do my job. Plus the woman training me smelled like she had not showered in days. I went on my lunch break and never returned. This was over 20 years ago. My life is making so much sense now
That's bad management. You should never throw new people into the fire. You have them shadow somebody or you give them the easiest tasks so they get used to be in the environment first.
@@stealthishahahahaaha many jobs I’ve worked at that is exactly what they do-throw you straight into the fire.
@@ultravioletpisces3666 in that case they don't actually care about their employees or even hiring. The goal of hiring somebody is to retain them.
I am autistic too Morgan and I think you have explained the issue well. Remember you can achieve anything in life if you believe in yourself enough.
You dont understand how much I love this video as undiagnosed neurodivergent 😭
So many spot on things you said. You are an absolute darling as well, beautifully eloquent. “ I’d rather quit than be yelled at” yup, that’s me. It’s so serious and people don’t get how difficult that is for us. It cripples us. Because as non stop pleasers it just defaces us. It’s awful. We need a stress fee, gentle person as a boss or Co worker so we can regulate our nervous system.
It’s heartbreaking and weirdly touching how many of us relate to this video. So amazingly reassuring to realize you’re not alone in these struggles but horribly frustrating to realize so many of us have had these traumatizing experiences at work. Especially because it doesn’t need to be this way at all, pointless suffering is just the worst, but I digress.
Thank you for making this wonderful video, love the topic and your take on it can’t wait to see more! 😊
I have adhd & it’s the same for us as well! People with adhd can’t usually hold down a job. I always struggled to keep a job bc of my over sensitivity which people with adhd tend to have. Even tho I have been working on it the more I have gotten older, it’s still a struggle for me. It’s also hard for me to keep jobs bc of the constant lack of fairness that happens in many work places.
I'm autistic, working as a waitress in a casual, family restaurant, and it's so telling which things are causing me difficulties. 10 tables full of people when everything I need to use is perfectly optimized for my specific workflow and the music is also a chill background music? You can bet you're gonna get your order as fast as possible, look at me go, smiling, chatting, everybody's having a lovely time.
But the constant confrontation with coworkers when they want to listen to upbeat, annoying songs and they don't understand that I can't function with those in the background? Babies crying? People watching videos loudly on their phones? Anyone having an issue with their food and I don't yet have a script for that specific issue? People not following the "rules" (e.g. seating themselves at a dirty table) and therefore throwing me off my flow? And suddenly I'm barely holding it together, not even being able to look guests in their eyes while I take their order and surely being perceived as rude.
Not to mention all the times I feel like I'm a lesser human being because I can't work as much as other people while also needing more downtime after each shift to recover. It's so incredibly hard and people will never know how much effort I'm putting into barely surviving.
It's the coworkers! I find that I'm OK with things that "allowed" to be stressful, like a busy day. But when I'm supposed to not be stressed, that's when my anxiety kicks in.
I turn 38 next week and was only diagnosed with autism last year. Your videos have been SO affirming for me, I can't even tell you. I haven't been able to hold down a job my entire adult life and hearing you speak about this topic gives me so much hope. Thank you, Morgan!
And the amount of autistic people who are employed but UNDERemployed
I relate to this so hard. I would leave jobs as soon as I thought I had made a mistake. I think I would’ve done better studying a hard science like math or physics … if only I’d had a diagnosis or known my self better when I was young…
I have an APPLIED MATHEMATICS DEGREE and COROPORATE AMERCIA HATES SMART PEOPLE!!! I had to learn the hard way going in and do AMAZING WORK only for JEALOUS PEOPLE to get rid of me because they are INSECURE MISERABLE PEOPLE!!!
How did you manage to survive?
@@NineToFiveGamerUC0079 I don't think many of us are managing very well
Yeah I'm in the underemployed category I do some occasional gig work but I don't have an actual full time job. And the only reason I'm managing to survive at this time is because I still live with my parents.
I studied engineering. A friend who managed to make a career out of engineering said it's different than being in school (this was a good thing for her, because she likes the work world better). I don't think I would have done well even if I had managed to get a job in engineering.
I found out I was autistic back in my 20s with Asperger’s syndrome. I always struggled with 9-5 work and never fitting in with society and the status-quo. I am in my 40s now and nothings changed obviously. I feel that doing your own thing is the only way to stay sane and feel balanced. I’m glad the next generation is shedding light on this subject and props to the young lady in this video for having the courage to tell her story and help others who might feel alone in this world.
Work in an office is INCREDIBLY draining due to the social aspect. For me, at least (also autistic). Just talking to people or hearing other people chattering nonsense...ooph. Forget about the non-mandatory-but-expected happy hours, lunches, etc. 20+ years after starting corporate/office life, I've found my place in it...but there were a lot of stressful years.
Edit: I just heard your age--eek...I've been at the same company since before you were born.
6:37 this is so me with all of my managers. If I don't feel like they're doing anything extraordinary to earn my respect they're no different than the rest of the people I work with
14:20
This is exactly why I am graduating at age 29. I am working a 3 class schedule, and getting myself to look after myself takes up the other class slot in my schedule. It's super painful. Makes me reeeeally hope that Bernie's push for a 4-day workweek goes through. A 35 hour workweek, in my opinion, is about ideal for my brain.
Beware of that ending up as requiring the same 60 hours of production in a week to be finished in 32.
Thank you for sharing your story with us! You basically described how I felt at every job. I'm 33 and was just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday after finally getting sick of the burnout cycle and not having any answers.
I’m autistic and I work at Amazon currently but I’m getting my BA in filmmaking soon so hopefully I can find a career in that.
How do you know you are autistic?
Neurodivergent viewer here (schizo gang gang). This video is heavily relatable in many ways, and also a reason why I am a Marxist. These employers don't appreciate what labor they can get with their offering of crumbs.
I'm not diagnosed yet but my therapist and psych and I are pretty sure I'm autistic, and in autistic burnout real fuckin bad lol. This video couldn't have come at a better time, I called off work today because I just couldn't handle it and now I'm anxious because I know I'll get shit tomorrow but I don't really know what else to do. I'm looking for a lower stress job but damn I go through pretty much that exact cycle of job hopping.
Just lost my job after burnout escalated. I knew I was likely adhd, but ironically in the time I've had off, I've realised I'm autistic. This video really helped normalise my experience in the job. I asked for support and it never came, things escalated and I'm out of a job. Lucky I had the sense to contact my union at the same time I asked for support at work, as my complaint is documented by a third party. Following up on unfair dismissal and workers comp. This is in Australia.
Also, Morgan, a billion thank you's. One of your videos came up in my feed a few weeks ago. The penny dropped, like Matrix -style-Neo-stopping-the-bullets. I did some screening tests, "passed" with flying colours, and hoping to get a dual diagnosis one of these days. Please keep doing what you're doing and hope you settle into your new place! ☺ 💐
The more I watch these videos the more I see myself relating. Not 100% to everything but to the experience that everyday life at the office is just too much for my nervous system. I'm in overdrive and I melt down eventually and burn out. A small example would be the way the office was arranged, if there was a lot of visual clutter it would bother me, or people having conversations as I'm trying to work, or meetings that purposelessly go on and on, or pointless tasks, or pressure, or disrespect to employees and fake cover ups about it, and just the sheer amount of hours I had to put in every day which was way over my nervous system's capacity. It was just to much for me. I'm trying to get back to employment and it's very difficult but I hope to make it this time without burning out for several years.
I have Asperger’s and so far I’ve been doing really well at my job, it surrounds my special interest and I like knowing what I’ll be doing all day every day, I like doing the same thing everyday. And what helps me the most is asking to work night shift. When I’m alone I enjoy my job the most and get more work done. I would highly recommend switching to night shift if you’re struggling in your job. It makes it way easier to focus. Also I watched videos on how to be a good worker and followed the tips from those videos and the tips my mom gave me about working. I try to always appear friendly and willing to help to my coworkers and to the patients. Specially towards your boss because they have the ability to fire you. I noticed the job becomes easier if you pretend to care about your coworkers lives so always try to make small talk with them so they will like you more and be willing to help you more with your work. I hate small talk but I always attempt to make a little bit of a conversation with them so they feel like I’m trustful because 90% of the time I’m not talking and just working. It makes a big difference when you pretend to care because you’ll go from “rude/ quiet/ selfish” to “quirky/ shy/ funny” so I always try to be polite even when I’m overstimulated. Also don’t tell them hardly anything about yourself that could be used against you, they are not your friends (my mom taught me this) Coworkers absolutely will throw you under the bus to save their own skin so AVOID GOSSIP. However unless it’s about someone they don’t know like for example gossiping about something you saw someone do on tv etc, cause if you gossip about someone at work they almost always go to the person you were talking about and tell them what you said because they want that other person to trust them more. Also by not gossiping about what so and so said about so and so they will gain more trust for you. And so by making people trust you they are less likely to gossip about you and ruin your good name. I’ve learned this from my mom telling me. Also it’s good to tell your manager that you have autism and tell them that you take things litterally. If they don’t explain something to me literally then I will just do it based on my assumption so they don’t just see me sitting there and think I’m lazy.
Great post
Seriously great post
That’s awesome, that was me a couple years ago when I started. I think if you figure out to prevent burnout you’re golden, that’s the only real thing you have to watch out for. I didn’t set any sort of boundaries on my energy so I used up everything working.
That said, I don’t intend that to be negative. You’re doing great, and you have almost all the puzzle pieces, that’s just the last thing to watch out for. Hope all goes well in your work and continues to go well!
Really able to relate to this one. ONLY reason I haven't had as many jobs is one of my comorbidities is General Anxiety Disorder. The thought of having to do more interviews is enough to keep me at jobs. However, this seriously hurts my mental health and often triggers my depression. I NEED to find/create a solution for myself that my anxiety will accept.
SAME
That was me! I had such a bad experience with job hunting (my only depressive episode, knock on wood) that I stayed in an unhealthy situation way too long. Now, in trauma therapy, I'm learning to job hunt again. For me in my situation it's empowering, because it means i can leave unhealthy situations.
You are such a brave and strong girl. I sometimes have this work fear for my 9 yrs old autistic son too. How he will cope with this world of outside and strangers. God bless you and all autistic kids. Love.
the numbers for pda autistics are even higher. here's what i found works for me after being unemployed for several years:
substitute teacher: no responsibility with huge authority, no real boss and i can work with kids with ASD and it makes me so happy ❤. I also love keeping up with the times by being near the youth. Many days there is barely work to be done so i draw or go on the internet, or even write songs if im subbing in band class.
pizza delivery: i get to basically be alone singing to my music all day, and when im in the shop im tearing up boxes or cutting pizzas. I get to walk 10k steps a day. i get lots of safe food 😅
in my off time i resell small high value electronics like iphones or switches.
This lifestyle allows for almost full autonomy, tons of breaks, as many days off as needed, both industry are accepting of diversity. All of these things are something you can walk right into as well
God I love this for you! Keep on shining!
@@NineToFiveGamerUC0079 ty
I'm a substitute teacher as well. Sometimes managing student behavior can be kinda stressful especially with the younger kids but overall I enjoy the job. I'm grateful that most of the staff in the schools I have worked in have been helpful. I also like the flexibility of it. There may not always be jobs I'm able/willing to take but I'm allowed to freely choose which jobs I want to take. As someone who just got a music teaching degree last year I mostly take music classes, but I have also subbed a few times for PE and art classes too. The tasks are usually fun and easy to implement, and one of the biggest perks of not being a regular teacher is not being the one to have to plan them. I also like not having to do the other additional tasks of regular teachers like after school meetings and such.
So do you get to choose your area for subbing.? With today’s schools it would seem the overstimulation and added headache at certain schools would be overwhelming. Lots of schools want subs to lesson plan and do grades, etc…
@@t.terrell7037 yes, you have tremendous power in this
Wow- this perfectly describes my work history I'm embarrassed to explain. Thank you for this.
I have been rejected from so many jobs (ones i was over qualified for) just because they didn't like that i was honest in the interview questions. I cannot market myself at all.
Same! They never told me that but a few years and life experiences more I just can see it and tell it for what it is. Which is sad because I'm also kind of too laid back when I did work and unless I'm plugged in to productivity (producing and meeting quotas, let's say) it just isn't a good look for me. So then the loop of it all is back on me. How am I supposed to not be downtrodden? I just can't make sense of it but what I've been doing is I keep trying anyway... I feel like they take me as being deadpan now that I think about it, employers that is. I was told I'm too brooding... I won't even get into that it was completely judgemental and insulting
Even 50 years ago, this was the case. At the end they would say, “Thank you for being so honest” and shake my hand. I NEVER got any of those jobs, despite - in some cases - an almost perfect fit. Seems integrity is too dangerous to have around…. Weird. Only diagnosed as autistic at 65: now it all makes sense. Managed to hold down jobs, with great effort, but not really a proper coherent career. My last boss put in a lot of effort and money in order to get me publicly humiliated and effectively fired, but luckily it was time to retire. The stress could have been a trigger for my blood cancer, though, so my life has changed a lot recently.
Yeh, it's like an unwritten law. Don't be honest at all. Write a piece of fiction and call it your resume! 😆That's what people usually do anyway.
I love the way you talk about things other people don’t talk about. Amazing, insightful video. Thank you so much for your hard work.
It really helps hearing videos like these becasue its easy to forget how much work it is being autistic. Im 31 and been working since i was 19 doing resturants and customer service but now work as a massage therapist and love it. Only learned about autism a few years ago becasue my body was shutting down from over work and traumatic stress and no doctors knew what was wrong but just hearing about autism from other autistic people changed my life. Even mid meltdown, I can usually keep working and hide it if i need to but when i do that every day over time i start to get weird seizures where my whole spine starts shaking violently and Ill feel half retarded for weeks after. So i try to respect my body abd stand up for my needs instead of pushing to that extreme now. This only happened becasue no one had ever validated the sensory issues ive had so i wouldnt have a tangible reason for needing rest or time off. And was always told to just keep going. So i actually learned how to work and handle things even while having a meltdown super well. And my body had to give me an even stronger signal to take a break by completely shutting down. Its still the only time i ever get a day off work and i get threatened to be fired so its a huge stress i nearly die of a heart attack every time. So i basically just have to keep myself well enough to not have to take off work ever. It means i can only work part time and some days I have to push way too hard to get through. I really love helping people with my knowledge about the body and sharing my kindness. Makes it work all the pain and hard work.
Some tips that might help other people
1) bring a backpack always packed with all the self care stuff you need in case you have to rush to work n didnt get to brush your teeth and hair or whatever or eat breakfast. Apparently this looks less professional to cary a backpack but no one told me til a couple years ago haha I still wear mine every day and always have things to help senspry issues in there too like pepermint, headphones ect.
2) work somewhere you can go outside and relax with fresh air on your breaks where no one will bother you. And take time to move your body and loosen up. The sensory issues get worse as we get more tense, so just stopping to stretch and breathe has saved my day over and over. I tend to have quite extreme sensory issues and being a massage therapist i have definately noticed that just massaging the right spots makes my severe sensory issues go away pretty reliably. So if you get a lot of sensory issues too, learn about stretching and different kinds of movments.
3) work somewhere that you are able to get food on your break and still have enough time to eat. I forget breakfast all the time and sometimes and running late but need a snack or i will be sick if i start doing hard work without eating. So i try to pick a job next to the grocery store that way even if im running late to work i can still run into the store and get food in about 2 minutes.
4) socializing at work can be really hard and draining but can also be nice too. What i learned is that when you go deeper and really try to connect with your coworkers over time, the small talk becomes less burdensome and you even get to talk about the weird stuff you like. I play mucis so my coworkers know and will ask me about projects im working on or Ill tell them about a new instirment im learning. And then I can actually be more a part of the socializing and it doesnt just feel like being a weird alien on the side trying to nail your script. Generally I will socialize at work only when i want to and dont force it. But try to get to know everyone over time and to let small talk be a chance to discover where you can connect deeper. If you can find one thing you truly connect with about each person at work, even something small like a tv show or something. But you use it to make jokes and stuff to relieve stress and make work fun. If you small talk with someone like that, then theyll start opening up about stuff going on in their life, their hopes and dreams, problems ect. And youll be able to share some of yours too. If im ever to burnt out at work Ill just say hi and not try to talk much but still smile, wish people a good day. And usually if youre being quiet one day people naturally give you space or maybe ask whats wrong. And thats helped me a lot of hard days. So i learned to check in on my coworkers when i notice stuff like that becasue they did for me. I still have barely any clue how to socialize normally but i just try to be authentic instead of normal and not worry about stuff too hard. Just share who i am with out the pressure to do it all the time has made me so much more comfortable around people and it lowers the over all sensory overload even if some days its really hard to deal with people, its still worth it to make an effort to be more friendly. As long as i get my break by myself to stim and its okay.
Thanks for anyone who read, hope you have an awesome day out there!
❤
This is a wonderful oasis of hope in all this strife. Thank you, I think I can do stuff like that once I try to start working a professional job.
I love you videos, plz keep making them, they make me feel heard, and help it easier to share with my family how I am feeling, bc it's hard for me to communicate it to them. The double empathy video really changed they way I treat myself!THANK YOU! 🩵💙🤍
My goodness. This video is great and is a true account of my experience in work life. Work life balance does not exist, I am consumed by my business and can't make time for anything outside of that. Can't take care of myself. Social failure with peers at work, accused constantly of disrespect at my prior jobs. Often called a liar when those I was dealing with were the liars.
I have autism and ADHD, had my first job interview recently, for a software engineer internship and it went terribly.
First I had a tehnical interview with another engineer which went well, I got like 14/15 anwsers right.
But then, I had a "behavioral interview" with HR... and idk what I did, but she almost threw me out 20 minutes in.
She interrupted me mid sentence when I was asking a question and said "ok, moving on, you were done right?". She didn't shake my hand at the end, just got up, walked behind me and held the door open. She wouldn't walk me out of the building, just pointed me to the elevator and said "you're good on your own right?". The front door was locked so the cleaning lady had to let me out.
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I cried when I got home. Then she emailed me saying I got the internship and that she was "excited to work with me"?!
Ahh thats hilarious I would have been confused too. Glad you got the job!
HR people are some of the worst. They probably wanted to get back to gossiping or were going to leave early and you were holding them up.
Most likely, behind the scenes, the engineer you talked to insisted that they hire you. I would guess the HR person recommend someone else based on the behavior.
It is slightly easier for autistic people to get technical jobs because we can lean on that aspect and that way of existing is slightly more tolerated in our society. Though it is still a job and they will still treat you like a machine once you're in
I am going to second the idea that the engineer pushed for you. Don't beat yourself up too much, interviews are hard. I always hated when family asked how they went because I honestly didn't know.
Yeah, as others mentioned, the engineer probably vouched for you, but be wary of that environment. If anything goes south, HR may not be useful at all.
really good help for me to see more clearly into my son's autism and his comorbidity ..Thank you!!
I'm 11 years old (year 6) and even I relate to this. And if i do work I would go crazy about it and properly get worried about getting it wrong like so much. At school I don't do work, I don't even go in the classroom and I still have a lot of problems. I'm even just in part time 9-12: 30 Like my school doesn't understand my autism. ❤
I am so sorry your school is not accommodating!! You deserve so much better! And remember that your struggles when you aren't being accommodated are not a reflection of you and that you are doing amazing!🥰
@@morgaanfoley 🫶🏻
I can relate to this a lot, I'm in my 20s now and only just starting to allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them instead of panicking. Please be kind to yourself, everyone is human and makes mistakes! ❤
Im autistic too! I am 14 yrs old from the U.S in 9th grade or year 9 They need to do a better job of understanding you. I hope that your okay and you can get through this well stay strong. ❤
If you go to school but don't go into the classrooms, where do you go, and what do you do while you are there?
Not autistic but have ADHD and a few autistic close family members and I can relate to so much of this.
Overnight campus security has been great for me. The night shift is far less overstimulating and doesn't fight my natural sleep cycle.
I loved night shift for being less overstimulating too but my body hated it I couldn’t sleep well during the day so now I have to go back to working in the day and among people again :/ I wish there was another solution cause I liked a lot about nights. Glad u found what works for u tho!
I took that route but instead I work twilight shift and come home late at night. The commute is so nice and quiet.
My Dad went this route! He was night shift at USPS loading planes for nearly thirty years, then partially retired and became night security. He said he could just listen to books on tape and not mask up to interact with people just for the sake of it.
Yeah, but it doesnt pay that well and it isnt viable for too long
@@InMyBrokenChair that's really going to depend on the institution. If you are working for a security agency, you won't make much. If you are an employee of the school, you may have better outcomes.
Its an inspiration that you found your place afterall in social media.Also you definitely have a unique and natural talent for performing and have a very intriguing personality, I think these aspects also played a significant role in your experiences. For example having someone one like you around brings balance to a team because people enjoy to have contrast and dynamic perspectives in their environment even if they dont know it. Your skits are both poetic and educating, profoundly so. I hope your message reaches as many people as possible, your awesome!
You literally described me regarding work to the exact detail. It's crazy 🤯
I'm doing much better now since I left retail but IT roles still have some customer service aspects and I absolutely hate having to make calls.
I have never been diagnosed with any developmental disorder, but watching this video and hearing you speak, I can relate to a lot of what you are talking about. I think a lot of people struggle with social things particularly. Whether that is undiagnosed autism, or just people are all different, I think we all need to understand that everyone is different, and workplace leaders and managers need to be sympathetic to those differences.
I got fired for being too honest & for not sucking up to hierarchies.
Most advocates on social media get burnt out.
Same here. I use to be an Amazon driver for 2 years, but long story short I needed an escape plan and admitting to "time theft" was the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of employer to employee reimbursement. Guess they couldn't afford to have me
Not sucking up to people and being too honest is what i do best!
Where are these skills needed?
@@LaGuera2858 unapologetic honesty would probably be a needed skill in some position that required evaluating/reviewing products or performance especially either for safety/compliance or for entertainment/comedy.
I just got let go this week for asking for accommodations and vocal about things that might upset others like it had me.. oof I’m grateful for all the insight from others like you. Thank you.
@@LaGuera2858 Stand up comedy, quite honestly.
I get this. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 1980s and struggled through school. Back then, it was "treated" with more homework and discipline. When I was in College, I had a professor take me aside one day and asked if I had "test anxiety." It was the first time I realized how horribly scarred I was from public school. later, I worked in IT and earned my certifications, but now I work changing oil on cars, been doing it for three years, and it's the longest I've ever held down a single job. I was diagnosed with Autism only about 5 years ago, and I'm still learning how much of my past struggles were directly related to that.
So, my one accommodation I've ever asked for is now being treated as me just being difficult. I do have a sound sensitivity, and part of the process of working on cars is signalling as a car enters the work area. Usually people just call out, "IN on Bay One," or whatever bay they are using. Call "Out on Bay" also when leaving, but the training suggests honking. And in our little shop, horn sounds concentrate and enforce and a honk from a car entering or leaving feels like being stabbed in the ear with a pencil. I've asked my manager about prohibiting honking in the bays, explained my issue, and he treats it like I'm just being difficult and has told me before to mind my own business, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I am currently desperately seeking employment back in IT, which I tremendously enjoyed, but I am now finding that I am unemployable with my certs all expired and I can't afford to get recertified. I've been seeking promotion to management, but, like you, I have other -isms and learning disabilities, including dyscalculia, which basically means that if I don't lie about that I can't be a manager.
It's eery how perfect you described stuff I can relate to 😅
When you mentioned the fast food part, it reminded me so much of my struggle when I was working In a fast food restaurant. I didn't know I was autistic at the time, I always had worked cleaning duty only and It was fine ,I loved it. It was better than to deal with the cash register, the drive thru or any fast paced position. There was a time that the cleaning duty position was being eliminated and they wanted me to take drive thru or cashier duty. That threw be out of balance. I was scared of those positions, it was a big sensory overload and I felt very embarrassed because I was made fun by my coworkers. 😢
I remember when I got my first job, which was working stock in a retail store, after my first day of work when I got home I immediately went to my room, sat down, and cried, alone, for a good half hour. Nothing particularly bad happened either, my nervous system was just completely fried.
But mannn I find that cycle you described so relatable. Like I was quite liked by my supervisors but eventually I was getting write ups for being late when I was desperately trying not to be. Then when I knew I was hitting breaking point I just told my boss I'm going to a coffee and just left, went home, ignored all phone calls. And that was that.
Same thing happened to me when I got my first job too, was at a Burger King. Even though everyone was nice and nothing bad happened, I was so overwhelmed by the chaos that I felt my brain separating and myself dissociating. Did a big cry when I got home
This is so relatable. Some jobs dont seem that bad and I dont always understand why I dont feel well, feel sad/overwhelmed. I think its just too many social interactions, too many responsiblities and expectations for us to get along with others and chit chat small talk and people assume its easy and natural to small talk but its always been so hard! So tiring being around people im just coming to accept tht casual part time work is all that can work for me.
@@rebeccac2358 I remember one big thing for me on that day was I remember my supervisor would give me an instruction to do, and when people give me verbal instructions it goes right over my head. So I've got to just... kind guess by using whatever things I do remember and then using other cues around me ALL while people are asking me questions when I've only been working there for a few hours. Then of course I screw it up regardless.
After a few years of that I realized I'd be far better off dedicating all of my brain effort into thinking of ways I can live a life free of that while not ending up homeless; still being utterly impoverished but at least with a roof over my head.
@@rebeccac2358 I think the thing that did it for me is while I was trying to navigate this weird new situation I had someone asking me "where is x?" every 10 minutes (retail) breaking my thought process. Was truly brain breaking.
i'm glad i found your channel. makes me feel less of a weirdo & more aware of my differences
Audhd here. I know this about myself and front load projects with a burst of energy, gradually slow down, then coast to a burnout. There's only been one job I can do in low energy mode for years at a time. The usual turnover is 6 months
May I just say, you are such a beautiful, lovely person. I wish I could just hold you and every hardship dissapears. But you would feel suffocated😅
Thank you for putting so much love, focus and energy into your videos.❤
I can totally agree with all topics, I struggled in two points with the opposite: 1. I Overshared because the relationships with the coworkers wasn't clear.
2. I also struggle with hierarchies so I was over respectfully to everyone to not miss something. It's exhausting.
Could you please make a Video about Autistic relationship struggles especially in romantic ones? It would mean a lot to me.
I also struggle with both over sharing and deferring to everyone else. I am afraid to speak up even when I know someone is wrong because I can never tell if it's the kind of wrong that they will need/want to know about or the kind where I'm supposed to just "let it go".
I am always afraid I am going to get into trouble or put my job at risk because I am doing things I know are wrong but I can't tell if they're the acceptable kind of wrong or not. But I do this, because I have found I keep jobs longer by keeping my mouth shut. It's so stressful 😩
I sent your video to my boss. Hopefully, he understands after watching. Your experience is so similar to my own, I don't feel so alone with this. Thank you. 😊
Anytime I’ve tried getting an actual job, this has been my experience too. Because of that, I’ve just never left education and I’m currently doing a PhD. But I also don’t understand the point of interpersonal politics in academia, or the fact that we always have to fight for funding. So, basically, I’m really nervous all the time about my next funding and about how to navigate all of the unwritten rules in my field, as well as about what to do after my PhD, because I don’t want to be a postdoc or lecturer or so… I’m so scared to become unemployed
I’m pretty much in the same position as you, although still applying to grad schools at the moment and still open to teaching. The horror stories about academia and just generally not knowing what the next step for my life is, caused me to procrastinate and flip flop on what I was doing for months. My parents first told me to prioritize getting a job and I was so hopeless about getting any job I wanted, I barely applied to anything.
Now they are telling me to prioritize grad school applications and I’ve decided to just put all my focus into that. I wasted months but I still fortunately have a lot of time though. This is something I’ve always wanted to do regardless if I stay in academia or not. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it now or later and was distracted by other stuff.
I think if you can justify to yourself the experience of doing the P.h.D., regardless of what you do afterwards, it’s worth it. I think many employers will find your P.h.D experience valuable even if you don’t get to work in your field of study forever.
@@jacobharris5894 The last line is wrong. Employers do not find graduate level degrees to be a positive unless it is in the field you are working in. They feel that if you have a degree in something else you will leave them for the something else and therefore, they will be reluctant to hire you outside of whatever field you get your PHD in. This is not true for bachelors unless you are trying for a trade job.
Yes, social skills are evaluated during job interviews. Something that was so demoralizing to me is how they perceive me as unmotivated when I gave my all during the interview. I don't understand how I'm supposed to appear 'motivated enough.' Is their definition of 'motivated' equivalent to my definition of 'harassing people'?
No idea why my previous response is not visible.. Trying again with some editing:
Yeah, my boss wants me to be more 'confident' when in reality he likes to be shouted at by women. Well, at least that's how it came off to me when hearing him talk how 'quick to raise her voice even though useless otherwise' my predecessor was.
The official explanation is that my meekness is not effective in the field I want to start getting qualifications in and company cannot invest in such endeavour until I prove to be more confident. They're happy for me to perform functions of that qualification, just not interested in me actually going for qualification. My goal was discussed in the interview so nothing new, I don't even ask them to cover costs, just to give me 'university day'. I bring that topic up every 6 months or so
My last PDR had a specific goal to make sure our office comply with company-wide rules/policies/procedures.
Next week I refused to do something against the rules for a colleague, he called my boss, they laughed together and boss told me to do what the colleague asked.
Updated my CV already, sent to one position.
The plan is, every time something stupid like this happens, I send my CV to one advertised job opening. The more often the miscommunication happens, the bigger the chance I'll end up hired somewhere else. I'm not searching because I want to run away immediately (there are quite a few things I like about my current place), I just don't want to drown with sunken costs fallacy
I feel as if my mind was really meant to rock in caveman pre-historic times. Too much fluff wrapped up in general clownery nowadays.
Even back then the other cavemen might not have liked us.
Hey I've seen some of your videos and I just got to say I'm glad I found you. I have high functioning autism as well, and do the same things as you have a job, drive a car, and I mask very well to the point at first glance people can't tell I have autism. You know it's hard for us autistic and find others who go through the same kinds of struggles. Ironically I'm actually 22 as well which makes it even more relatable to considering we're the same age. I just want you to know that even though it's hard to find people like you and me we're still out there. I wish I could meet more people like you, but unfortunately it's difficult in the world we live in. I wish the best for you and I will continue to watch your content, and I hope to hear back from you.
Just had a fight with my s/o over this. Apparently, because some autistic people can do it we all should be able to. 🤬
I'm feeling that burnout for seemingly no reason at work. Like I feel like it's just the same work for, the most part, as it ever was, but customer service is driving me crazy and as a naturally not very social person, I feel like I'm not getting a break like I need.
I have more to say, but I can't even finish this thought but it takes so much effort to word it.
Same. 😢 I was never good enough and they never told me what I did wrong. I got fired so often. Always when I thought I was doing ok...
Scary how you figured me out 100% without ever meeting me ❤
I've been following you recently because my son is autistic we are in Mexico and while I was seeing you more and more I suddenly noticed that 😮 in this video you're describing my worklife! And what I felt like you're describing whenever I worked. I'm almost 54 yrs old and I was recently diagnosed yet when I see you and hear you I see myself totally. Finally I see why I felt myself as so different. Thank you thank you thank you!
I loved this! It made me feel less alone. NT's give absolutely no empathy or support when it's hard to get a job, or when I'm in one that doesn't pay well enough to pay all my bills with.
In fact, when I found out the employment statistics on us, I told my mom. I was expecting a reaction of at least a tiny bit of sympathy, (since it was an explanation that should have resulted in some understanding)
But instead, she said, "You could be in the 15%."
🙄 Right. Like I haven't been trying to be since I was 16 years old... I was 59 at the time, and I figured if I hadn't got into the 15% by then, it probably means I can't.
i'm 27 and i've decided to stop talking to my family. i tried to kill myself and they forced me into the ER where they locked me up for a week without communicating with me when i'd be let out. turns out there's a cool down period when you take pills and they didn't think to let me know that i was trapped there because of that. they didn't tell me anything, just put me in a room where they watched me piss and shit and my only entertainment was a tv with basic cable. i couldn't have my phone. i couldn't even have a book. anyway, i finally get out and none of my family calls me to check up on me, no one visits, no one cares. i'm done with them. they forced me into the hospital and now i have this huge bill and debt collectors after me meanwhile i can barely hold down a job or take care of myself or clean my apartment. one time someone came in my apartment to change my air filter and because my dishes had piled up they reported me to the landlord and they told me they would evict me if i didn't clean my kitchen. like what the fuck lol. anyway. it's nice reading all these comments because i really relate to everyone here
@@soupstoreclothing I'm sorry you're going through that. I have a very similar story. It really sucks that people who don't struggle so hard with life totally don't understand.
Instead of locking us up with loonies, it would be nice if they'd at least talk to us about the reasons we tried to "leave" and offer some help. I felt so humiliated when my house looked like a hoarder's lair and anyone had to come in to do repairs or whatever. My landlord told me my house was a mess once. Like I wasn't aware of that. 🙄 Really. I can work or I can keep my dishes washed and my house decent. I don't have enough energy to do both.
There may be an organization that will help you with your bills. I get help with my bills now, and my house looks better. I hope you can find some assistance.
@@raven4090 How does one find assistance? Please explain to me like I’m 5. I’m in a rural town where disregarded and I think they think I can’t be autistic because I talk. I’m not baptist so they think I’m scary? I need help with bills sooooo much. I’m very frugal and my income is about 10k a year and that’s impossible anymore
@@heidiburton929 I'm so sorry you're being treated that way. I hate it that people assume we don't need help just because we are able to ask for it. I live in a rural town, too. They have one place here that handles applications for assistance for housing (Section 8) assistance in paying utilities, and emergency rent payments. You may have a similar place in your town. You might be able to find out at your courthouse? Or the library? If no answer comes from that I'd Google "government assistance and housing for low income people," and see how to apply for their programs. You should be able to get SNAP "food card" to buy food with. Section 8 housing assistance or a similar agency will make sure you are paying no more than 30% of your income for housing. Frees up more of your money for bills and necessities. Getting disability for autism if you're "high functioning" is difficult, but if you can find a lawyer who will defer payment until you're approved, you could try that. I had a lawyer help me get disability. I found out the government's vocational rehab job training programs ignore autistic people who are considered "high functioning," in Montana. You could try getting on the waiting list in your state and see if they'll help you get a better paying job. Don't get excited until it happens, though. It didn't happen for me. After 6 years of waiting for training, I told them to take me off the list. I hope that info can at least get you started down a happier path. It's pretty much all I can think of so far.
I’m an AuDHD therapist who owns a private solo practice. I work primarily with other neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ people and I love it.
I will say that the journey to get here was LONG-I had a whole different career before, and then becoming a therapist was its own undertaking. But I am so overjoyed to be working for myself and setting my own boundaries. I work four days a week and take 4-6 weeks off of work per year. Being a therapist in general is hard but I’ve slowly amassed a caseload that works for me without taxing me too much. I vet new clients carefully too.
I can’t do just one job though, so I also work part time as an accountant (harkening back to old career), and do a ton of creative stuff on the side. I wanna get into voice acting too.
Lots more I could say about this but yeah, in short, that’s what I do :)
Me me me me me omg you are so good at putting what I am experiencing into words
The ONE "reasonable workplace accommodation" I've asked for is that feedback be "timely, direct, and specific.". In the last 2 years at my job, I have NEVER had that happen.