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I'm on a Diet, But I'll Be BAD
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 พ.ย. 2019
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Ordering fries really isn't as evil as poison gas.
FOLLOW THE CAST:
ALLY: / agbeardsley
GRANT: / grantob
KATIE: / katiemarovitch
LILY: / lilyd
TAO: / tyang209
TRAPP: / mikewtrapp
RAPH: / chestangraphael
REKHA: / rekhalshankar
BRENNAN: / brennanlm
SAM: / samreich
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CAST
Mike Trapp
Ally Beardsley
Raphael Chestang
Jessica Ross
Lily Du
Grant O'Brien
CREW
Director - Carlyn Hudson
Producer - Kelsi Reel Johnson
Writer - Mike Trapp
Production Coordinator - Jessica Clemons
Director of Photography - Justin Cyrul
Production Designer - Rick Mader
HMU - Leigh Schwartz
Sound Mixer - Danny Carpenter of Botown Sound
Editor - Michael McAlister
Become a member of our channel today [ bit.ly/2kpp0oz ] for access to OUR ENTIRE DROPOUT LIBRARY (including full seasons of WTF101, Dimension 20, Um Actually, and more)!
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No, not after you didn't even hit the obvious after ad joke, "Don't you hove minions to do that?".
hello college humor
Secret text 1
@Paul Borst don't be a jerk mate. Don't just tell people to fire their employees
"Oh... congratulations."
It's like, yeah, I'll slice up people with my hands, but I'd never miss an opportunity to congratulate someone's personal growth.
😂😂
Well, a low carb diet won't contribute much to your personal growth aside from... self-discipline, I guess? It is also unhealthy to leave out fruits and vegetables from your diet.
Look at “the sex-positive slasher”
I'm your 999th like!
"I'm on this low-carb diet, which I've actually been doing really well on"
* deep and sinister voice* "oh congratulations"
😂😂
The funniest part of the video
0:41
He’s evil but that’s no reason to not be supportive!
As soon as Jess said "I've been bad!" in that sassy aunt voice, I knew this would be fucking hilarious. Also, thanks for bleeping the expletives instead of muting them.
@@roy04 Profound.
"sassy aunt voice" lol yess that's exactly how that voice is described 😂
Bleep bleep
Yeah, that was driving me crazy too
The bleeping is so much more annoying than the muting.
@@jennabeth6851 now see, the muting was driving me nuts... I liked it better when they just cursed. Second best would be nonsense words
Raph being so exasperated that he rubbed his temples with machetes is a M O O D
Robert Stephens time?
@@cheesecracker5223 1:45 . very brief
I was expecting blood after that!😤🤷♂️
He also did air quotes with them 🤣🤣🤣
@@fae.fantastic 2:53
WE NEED MORE OF DOMINIC MACHETEHANDS.
How does he pee though?
@@LemonToGo how do he wipe
@@LemonToGo carefully
Agreed
@@sharpy5509 standing on the ring like everyone else.
Can we please get a dropout show based on these villains. That would be incredible.
Slightly Irish I could see it.
They’re in an all out battle releasing gas, stabbing people, blowing stuff up
Jessica: walks out and opens a plastic bag of brownies.
Good guys: Confused
Villains: she’s on a diet
Good guy: oh mY GOODNESS RETREAT! WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE SHES CAPABLE OF
That would be incredible!
Why so I could not pay to not see it.
especially Jessica, she’s my favourite because she is so BAD
Episode 2
The villains are robbing a bank and are fighting with the police
Jessica: **walks out the bank**
Also Jessica: **pulls out a bag of peanut butter s’mores**
Cops: no
Cops:oh no don’t eat it
Jessica: pulls out a s’more
Villains: do it
Machete dude: **visible confusion**
Jessica: **eats it**
Cops: **pulls out a walkie talkie** we need to fall back there’s a girl who is cheating on her diet
Chief of police: oh my god, she’s back
Chief of police: **picks up phone** captain motivation we need your help
Captain motivation: I’ll be there
jessicas behaviour is so bad that this videos gunna get demonetised.
Another BAD-pocolypse is about to happen :p
are you saying jessica's the reason we need to get dropout?
i approve
Age restricted too.
LOL!
I'd actually really like to see more of these characters, they're great
^
Kon2336 agree
I ruined the 420.
Reminds me of dr horrible’s evil league of evil
I love Trapp in this one, he really developed a character and makes him live
Grant looks a little too comfortable being tied up like tht... Js.. 🤣😂
Lookin mad cozy
How are you surprised?
That's Grant alright ;)
Bet hes the one pitching that bit
Yeah, couldn't tell ya why, but he always seemed to be the kinda guy who was into it.
asking him how he pees must have really cut deep
Get out....
Yeah, he probably felt like he was stabbed at the back.
Gotta admire your sharp wit.
normally I'd leave some kind of edgy reply
Cmon man no need to be so pointy
the curses with beeps sounds way better than silence, nice job
@@Jason_Bryant Finding that loophole was a stroke of pure genius!
My favorite part was “probably cause you’re not a woman”. Apparently most evil doers are very open minded on the concept of evil and the standards for it
“I’m going to sit out on this one but maybe just listen a little bit”!
Jessica probably is the second most evil person there. Lily's character funding McConnell's reelection campaign is downright despicable, though.
But did McConnell ever eat cookies on a diet?
@@Rougarou99 Don't be silly, he always had his regular diet of lettuce, pellets and the occasional garden flower.
@@DrZaius3141 In this case, veganism is worse.
It's funny how Raph is usually the level headed one in the skits.
Not sure it's just the skitts...
Well of course Johny Steel got captured, Zach isnt in the Van
The meta here lol
This comment actually made me sad 🙈
also, Johnny looked like he was enjoying it.
2:50 LOL, he did air quotes with machete hands! 😂
Didn't realize that 😂😂
Wait, is General Machete-hands the "bloodiest warlord in the world, with machetes for hands" or the "bloodiest warlord in the world with machetes for hands"?
Commas matter.
The closed captions don't have a comma, so I guess it's the second one.
I don't know the way he said it sounded like there was a comma
The man has machetes attached to his arms where his hands would be so I think you can guess which one it would be
@@theglassofmilk *whoosh*
@@awaruwidianto First one means the guy is the bloodiest warlord in the world and as a side note the guy also happen to have machetes for hands. But the second one means from all the people in the world who got machetes for hands, he's the bloodiest warlord of them all. Which really isn't impressive at all because he's probably the only person in the world who has machetes for hands...period.
And I won't even apologize for ruining the joke by explaining it...because I'm baaaaad.
This is like watching Dr. Doofenshrmitz or Dr. Draken try to prove how bad they are to all the other villains.
not sure if it was intentional, but it definitely made me think of dr horrible....
Raph doing air quotes with machetes for hands will never fail to make me lose my mind
I was waiting for jassica to be revealed to also have killed like a million people or something and just be like "Im so baaad"
This gave me such a sense of joy and I don’t know why.
because it's making fun of something that happens in real life and is really goddamn annoying
PLus the villains were "yes and"ing her and being unexpectedly nice which is a great and sweet contrast :)))
I can’t understand how Trapp was able to say General MacheteHands without bursting into laughter for the whole sketch.
trapp acc has some of the best comedic timing and improv lines ive EVER seen. I lose it at 1:17 its just so real
The formula of "everyone is being weird and crazy except for one person" is still being executed so well, CollegeHumor.
"oh congratulations"
"and - ohh thank you!"
These are the best two lines
I actually totally want this to be a series.
That wink totally crushed my heart😍
I hope General Machete Hands will be a recurring character
2:41 i love the irony of grant being tied up by someone with swords for hands, spot on guys!
And you *know* Grant was really weird and uncomfortable about it.
I love Jess so much she has this fun mom energy 😂😂😂
The machete air quotes at 2:52 heckin killed me! I’ve replayed it 4 times already
"The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware. The grade that you receive'll be your last, we swear. So make the bad horse gleeful, or he'll make you his mare. You're saddled up; there's no recourse. It's "hi-yo, silver!"
Signed: Bad Horse."
Oh no..... they’re getting a run for their money
These characters are great! Loved Trapp. "Oh congratulations". Everyone's character suited them well
Trapp: "How do you pee?"
Raph: *sigh*
we watched the video too and that bit didn't even tickle my funny bone, even slightly
@@Hashslingingslasher- well, aren't you a delight. /s
@@breadfan_85 I need this question answered.
Someone please solve this
@@theoriganalxldub Carefully??
Any time my mom talks about her dieting and triggers my eating disorder, I'm gonna think of this short from now on. Thank you, collegehumor.
fucking same!
Hey, I know this was four years ago, but I've also struggled with eating disorders. How are you doing now? Both of you?
I want more of these characters doing crimes, like robbing a bank or torturing Agent Steel.
SAME BRING EM BACK or have them do small boring crimes and general machete hands gets furious that they don't involve killing people
"I'm just going to sit out of this one, but maybe, you know, listen a little bit"
“That’s two chocolates, Jessica!” lol
this is a classic, just give it time
“Hey, I’ve got a question for you”
“Me?”
“Yeah”
“Go ahead”
“I’ve just been wondering”
“Mmhmm”
“How do you pee?”
*slowly looks at hands and sighs*
This is the best non-brenan sketch you've done n a long time. well done!
-My eyes: see the thumbnail and title
-my brain: "what kind of pøŕņ is this?"
You might think that General Dominic Machetehands is a very complicated man.
He's actually pretty cut and dry. 😮
I don't know, he comes across as pretty edgy.
He's the kind of guy that gets straight to the point.
did she just said the coconut one was disgusting? She IS bad :O
She's right though. That artificial coconut is the worst and everyone should know it. So...bad...
Damn! I have to agree! Long live coconut! :O
Can we just appreciate how badass everyone looks in this sketch
I'm with Jessica. You only live once. You could walk out that door and get hit by a bus. Will your dying thought be, "I shouldn't have eaten the chocolates?"
Yes
@@portalMaster299 😂
I mean, yeah, I guess a bus out of control could go into the sidewalk as soon as a chocolate craving person comes out of a building.
Sounds like an ad.
Him: “How do you pee?”
Me: “ I don’t need sleep, I need answers!”
This is the content I stay subscribed for... and Um, actually
sketches and originals for me.
2:31 ok this person is literally a monster
She really is a villian! She called coconut GROSS
This entire sketch is gold, from characters to acting to writing to editing. It goes into my Top Ten from CH.
Agreed, it became one of my favorites.
Well, it is still not my all time favorite.
The only problem with the sketch is that it's not gonna age well with that Moscow Mitch tie-in.
How's he gonna seek reelection when he's in prison?
Why did raph saying “oh..congratulations” make me laugh so hard lol🤣
1:47 Don't mind me just scratching my had with M A C H E T I.
2:17 lol, i can see that failed wink
Ah yes, the back guy is cast as the warlord with machete hands, I see how it is 😅
I should be part of this group; I'm bad at everything!
We all know people like that in real life.
So I'm not sure what the joke is- they really are evil.
😂 whoa
You know someone called general masati hands
My whole family was on a diet so i bought a large pack of our favorite chocolates (Raffaello) and placed them in a bowl beside the fruits to mess with them. They were gone in 2 days and i didn't eat any.
Am i bad?
EVIL ENABLER
Oh my god you're pure evil
I'm calling the cops you psycho
This was hilarious and we definitely need a sequel.
“How do you pee?”
*_Vietnam flashbacks_*
0:31 "Naxo, who has planted viruses-"
Video: posted November 2019
Me: I'm sorry what-
Machete hands is the most 90's supervillain ever and I love it
No Raph... answer the damn question.
When you're trying to conquer the world, but Karen is cheating on her diet...
Lily playing a hacker is so perfect I love it
Can I join this team? I cheated in tests and never have been caught, so I'm kinda like a professional in cheating and I also have already made plans for taking over the world or killing... You understand.
*gasp* That's BAD!
@@AutisticSoyDaddy I know, right?
3:08 did he do a Dr. Evil voice?!
I would love to see more of this, it was hilarious. I love the evil laugh and grant as the spy is just perfect.
So what does she do as a member of this group of villains? Order the food? Ensure their opponents don't feel good enough to fight back because she ate the all the good stuff from their meal?
She is the heart and soul of the group. Her refusal of personal growth represents the villains dedication to all that is wrong and naughty.
@@Luster21 Ah! That explains it
... So why isn't she the leader though?
2:39 He’s enjoying it.
Dominic Machetehands should have a video where he tries to eat food.
*knocks over glass*
"oh, c'mon! I just wanna EAT!"
*Swings hands around and cuts the table*
"oops."
Those "quotations" that Raph did had me in stitches more than anything else in this skit. 😁
I love the complex layers and character development of General Machete-Hands.
Will we be seeing more of Grant's character? I feel like he was sorta sidelined in this and I think it would be really interesting to see a James Bond esk Fighting Goofy villains that don't really manage to do anything evil but try. They really try. Bless them.
I can't believe it's been 2 years and this video only has 632K views. I thought this would go so viral the first time I saw it. Who doesn't know someone that breaks their diet and starts saying "oh I'm so bad"?
Poor College Humor peeps. I miss you all.
This honestly has an amazing sub-text that I don't want to explain with a comment, good show CH.
raph's slightly pained expression makes this whole sketch for me
I like how General Machete-hands tried to use air quotes but obviously he can’t
I don’t know what I was expecting but definitely not this premise LMAOOO
The thing about being bad and ordering fries reminds me of that john mulaney joke about ordering fries being like going on a little adventure
This sketch is fantastic
I reference this video in my day to day life regularly. This is some peak College Humour material right here. Well done, everyone.
My immersion was broken when General Machete hands rubbed his head with the sharp part of the machetes. I find nothing else wrong.
Oh yeah i though hed cut himself but no..
She lied about being vegan so she got clout from all her vegan friends THATS really bad
Machete hands is so bad he can scratch his own head with his machetes.
Trapp is absolutely amazing in this sketch
I sit down when I pee. There's nothing that crazy about me.
Mike's Dr. Evil laugh was spot on
4:10
Better question ist how does he wipe his ass ?
finally another good sketch
also that expression by raph at the end is priceless
I just don't see how Jessica's- machete quotation mark- DIET - machete quotation mark- is at all comparable
Seriously... It was WAY worse than what all the others did. I don't know how the other villains were not shaking out of fear being in the same room as someone so bad.
Trapp just wanted an excuse to reuse his Dr. Evil costume from Halloween, didn't he?
I stand by General Machete Hands, not taking care of yourself is not bad on a societal level, just on a personal one. Kidnapping Agent Steel is bad
My teacher said if you know the answer raise your hand...
I knew the answer but didn't raise my hand.
*I've been bad*
I need a sequel to this video with Brennan reprising his role as Galatax
this is the first college humor sketch thats made me laugh since 2016
The hacker is the worst. Funding Mitch McConnell