Is Marriage Dying & Is It Even Worth It?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ส.ค. 2024
- With marriage rates seemingly at an all-time low, and most of the old reasons for marriage largely defunct, it's a question many men are asking. It was something I wrestled with too. So...why bother with marriage? And why did I get married?
00:00 - Statistics on marriage and some of the reasons we used to get married
06:56 - Why I chose marriage
Find me on social:
Instagram: / mantalks
Facebook: / mantalks.ca
Website: mantalks.com
Subscribe to the podcast here:
Spotify - open.spotify.com/show/7pERITP...
Apple Podcasts - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
• Is Marriage Dying & Is... - บันเทิง
![[TH] VALORANT Champions Seoul - Group Stage Day 7 - FPX vs SEN](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/HIJqH0h2zbE/mqdefault.jpg)
going through my divorce right now, I can say: No, it is not worth it.
Stay strong man. That shit sucks I've been through it to. Fool my once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. That's how I look at it now.
stay strong brah, went thu this few years back, hit the gym, focus on your career, you will get thru just fine.
Should of went MGTOW
Just got divorced after 17 years of marriage. Women are not in it for the long run.
@@amo3341 Thanks for sharing. Much love.
What is marriage?
-the first step to divorce
Marriage is giving women a loaded gun aimed at your head and trusting them not to pull the trigger. Here's the kicker, women are rewarded for doing it.
One of my close friends went through a brutal divorce. That was all the reason I needed not to marry.
Then, I found the red pill.
keep that mindset, learn by your friends negative situation.
@@lilfairycupcake respect to you soulful helper
Accurate information.
Sad time we live in nowadays, stay strong!
@@lilfairycupcake I learned from my traditional parents, who spent 30 years in a miserable marriage.
Why is marriage in decline? Go spend an afternoon in a family court and that'll answer all your questions. Never get into a contract with someone who knows they can get rewarded for breaking it.
All pro-marriage content for men pretty much boils down to a variation of "hope for the best" "maybe you'll be the exception to the rule". if you explained the statistics and terms of this contract and left out the word 'marriage' everyone would agree that this is a bad deal.
Anything with 50% failure ratio is horrid.
Marriage is like playing Russian Roulette: best case scenario nothing bad happens. Worst case scenario you lose everything.
Lets take the emotion out of it. If marriage was offered to you as a business agreement, nobody with any semblance of reason would sign it since it is completely lopsided
@coquifrog imagine going skydiving and being told your parachute has a 50% chance of opening.
If I was told that I wouldn't jump out of that plane, I'd wait until we have landed safely and never go skydiving again.
Let's circle back once your wife files the divorce
There are plenty of men who end up in the waiting room of my divorce attorney sister’s office who once said “My wife would never do it to me” when the wife does exactly that.
Lol. Yeah. He's been married four years. My 'one night stands' last longer than his marriage thus far.
Don’t do him like that bro
"It's not that every woman WILL destroy a man (in divorce court), it's that every woman CAN" - Karen Straughan.
Marriage is a bad deal for men
Marriage is a bad deal for women too…. In my divorce my ex ruined me financially and won custody of the kids. In the end it comes down to the question of who is the better liar.
@@randib363 do you know how much of a minority case you are if that is even true. You would have to show up drunk in court to lose to a man in a custody battle.
Let's talk real facts: For a husband to get full custody there are two ways: (a) The wife is disappears and cannot be located. (b) There is overwhelming evidence that the wife is unfit to be a mother. To prove that a woman is unfit for child custody needs multiple interviews with licensed psychologists to affirm this, documented evidence of said unfit behavior such as chronic alcoholism, or habitual drug use, both of which have to be attested to by a third party. Since all these is very difficult (and expensive) to prove without doubt, the attorney would tell the man not to bother unless there is overwhelming evidence. Many attorneys say this to men facing family court: If you have a penis, the only winning is damage control.
bingo, and they often get sick of acting and go through with destroying you
The fact that the woman can destroy the man and that the man is at her mercy is enough reason NOT to get married to any woman!!!
most relationships have an expiration date. We all grow and evolve at different rates and different directions in life. To sign a contract saying that the relationship will stay the same for 20, 30, 40 or 50 years is almost mission impossible. This man in the video has only been married for 4 years, lets see how he feels in 14 or 40 years.
Exactly.Four years is nothing. Marriage gets harder for every year you are in it. And then aging happens, people get sick, attitudes change, life gets hard. So yeah, four years is not a great time for opining on the experiences of marriage.
I worked very hard to build a great happy life for myself. Until family courts treat men equally, I might never marry. Great video 👍
"equally"
The state is profiteering from wealth extorted from men as they get a cut of the alimony and child support.
equally what a joke ?🤣
I think for me, one of the main reasons I refuse to get married, is because I've learned human nature. We change so much, so fast, especially between the ages of 18-30. That makes it difficult to trust the person you fell in love with will be that same person in the future and someone you still want to be with. Marriage is too big of a commitment you will be stuck in, versus having a relationship that can be ended fairly easily were things to ever go south.
The only reason I'm even in a relationship now is to fulfill my sexual and emotional needs, while also caring for someone else that isn't me and fulfilling their needs.
However if laws changed in court for men, I think that would make a big difference in how men felt about the whole thing.
" Never sign a contract, when the other person is rewarded for breaking it."
I really want to get married and be a father and a husband but I am terrified of being screwed simply because my partner wakes up a different person. I've had this occur, thank God I wasn't married to them but before that I wanted to be.
@@CorinthianIvory I have seen it happen with about 5 of my friends now with baby mommas they regret having kids with years later.
Made me see how important it is to learn from other peoples mistakes and be smarter.
@@danielayers8259 Ooof... Rip the homies
I’m 35 never married I don’t know with this landscape there’s a hope for me to get married I’m not getting any younger
th-cam.com/video/NUg4OY1fb9Q/w-d-xo.html
I found out I’m not the married type of guy. If my lady turns into someone unpleasant to be around, I tend to check out and want to leave. No sense on getting all hitched up only to go turn around and file for divorce once the honeymoon is over. Is it shallow? Probably.
not shallow at all, its called being a realist. anything i dont like i just leave, and go home where there is nothing but peace that surrounds me. if she wants to be negative, hateful, combative, argue, ect., im all for it, you can do all of that by yourself.
You have also described me.😅
I appreciate the honesty of your answer. I think marriage is dying and the blame is easy to point towards women but we men are effected by this culture as well. I'm jaded too. I know I can't go the long term in a relationship unless I suppose I'm invalid and being nursed. I feel bad when that conversation comes up of "where is this relationship going" b/c I know my response is we have arrived lets enjoy it.
@@TheBryanmauro marriage is dead. blame is on women, and the system that back them up. best bet, do not partake, or u will pay dearly.
And if you marry out of court?
I will never be married again I gave this women 11 years of my life and she threw it away like it was nothing. I worked my ass off to make her a stay at home wife which is what she wanted and she left anyway. Never again.
You learn by experience
Too many old guys with stories of losing their life savings to divorce (50% + 25% to the lawyers).
It's not worth it.
Mgtow is growing
The recent Steven Crowder divorce should open up alot of people's eyes.
When there is such an extraordinarily high chance a man will be financially and psychologically devastated it’s not worth entertaining marriage. I work with men as a psychologist every day who have been utterly destroyed by divorce and at a certain age, it is impossible to recover from this damage. Imagine you’re a man in his late 40s or early 50s that is surprised by a divorce wherein the woman takes everything from you… Even when women earn more than their husbands, they somehow manage to keep their assets while financially draining their spouse. Men suddenly find themselves living in a hovel, and being forced to work two jobs in order to continue paying her… Meanwhile, she’s residing in the home you likely purchased, with a strange man who has access to your children… There is no coming back - especially if you have any health issues that prevent working around the clock etc. Not worth the risk…
Damn, that would definitely devastate a mans life, a lot of them would be close to unaliving themselves I imagine.
Marriage is dead and is not coming back. Men and women are going to have to accept that and learn to cope and adapt
100%
Why do women get married? For economic reasons. Why do women divorce? For economic reasons. You’re an asset. Period. Going through a divorce right now and it has been going on for 9 years with no end in sight. Lawyers are being paid very handsomely throughout the process, so they won’t lift a finger to change the current system to a more balanced outcome. You only truly meet your real wife the day you meet her in court, even after been married for 24 years.
You invited the state into your home and finances 4 years ago. Not wise.
Marriage went from being a social construct to a legal construct. It's a contract now.
The problem with this contract is that it greatly benefits one party to break said contract. Why would the party that has less to gain and more to lose enter into said contract?
100%.....The Governments ruined marriage. Governments are now on the divorce/child custody grift.
Good question, No GREAT question. Good point. That's why I'll never do it. Life is tough enough. Why get into a relationship where you sign a contract with a partner who has the upper hand if they decide they're bored and don't want it anymore? I work to pay my bills, I shouldn't have to WORK to make the relationship work too.
Men are avoiding divorce
Hope is not a good strategy.
Never sign a legally binding contract that rewards the other for breaking it.
Excellent description
as far as im concerned there is not one beneficial reason for a man to get married in todays society. case in point, lets use me as a example. totally committed to my family, put myself last, family first. ex wife was totally committed to herself, other people, other things, her family came last. even tho by no fault of your own you pay the price for her indiscretions losing everything you have worked for, your kids are no longer yours, you have no say so in their lives because you are no longer relevant, she turns them against you because the whole mess did not turn out like her equally hateful, foul, back stabbing, friends told her it would, then adding in the bonus of she gets pretty much everything you make for the next 10yrs, or so to enable her negative mindset/situation/living conditions. if your dumb enough to sign up, you will reap what u deserve.
Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m sorry about what happened to you. CHRIST is the only one I fully trust, everyone else..not so much.
Marriage in the United States of America is a foregone conclusion. I got my passport and I am now traveling the world. It is so gratifying to see traditional women that honor their commitment to a man. America is just a very toxic place to live in nowadays. Everything is corrupt in America. If things doesn't get any better in this country, I will be leaving in the foreseeable future. Living in The matrix is bad.
I turned 65 last month, I never married, and it’s certainly not keeping me up at night.
I’m pleased this young man is being level-headed with his analysis, and he’s not spewing out the usual red pill anti-marriage/anti-natal haranguing.
I can say unequivocally that those I worship with, those I choose to socialize with, and most of my immediate family are married, have procreated, and have remained married. A low bar by today’s standards, but they’ve achieved it nonetheless.
That’s great for the people you know. But the younger generation is not as level headed. The risks far outweigh the benefits in the internet generation
on the flip side; im 57, and have yet to see my very first truly successful, loving marriage since i graduated in 84. just because to people tolerate each others existence does not hold much value. divorce, or misery is all that i have witnessed, this includes myself.
@@jjh2k224 I want to get married & be a father but as a member of the younger generation (Zoomer) these people are wild. It's good we can talk about mental illness but the majority of my cohort (male & female) is straight up mentally unstable. Maybe it's the world we came up in, over-medication, the internet, or something else, but something has gone profoundly wrong with us. I'm not hopeful about our financial or social future let alone marrying another Zoomer
@@kimilsungthefirst6840 Bingo! The comments you see above are clearly lacking a faith component in one’s life, having something greater outside oneself. When one is on their deathbed, I’ll guarantee the red pill gurus won’t be there to hold the guy’s hand.
1) You never married so you have no experience with it.
2) You are 65. Everything has changed since your friends got married decades ago. It's a completely different world today. No comparison.
Marriage is one sided and it only benefits the women. Lose your kids and your personal belonging while she keeps everything!!! that sounds like a raw deal to me.
Q: Why do we get married in the first place?
A: To create a stable environment to raise children.
Q: Is marriage really even worth it?
A: Not anymore.
Q: And why might you do it?
A: Head trauma, drugged, or forced at gunpoint.
What a lousy reason to get married. But I wish you the best man. Your financial future hinges on your wife not changing her mind. America is full of divorced great guys. Good luck
It makes me laugh so hard when they go back “1000 years ago” to explain the roles of men and women. I understood all the societal constructs he explains for todays marriages tendencies back in the end of the ‘70 beginning of ‘80.
I had enough “one night stand” we use to call it, to understand the female nature. Divorce was rampant even back then.
I went to all my friends wedding and NONE of them are still together, and I am not talking about what came about with the kids…
I stayed single, went on to be a professor, just retired, healthy, financially secured, very active, sport orientated, have travelled the world and still doing it ( so many vacations prior to retirement), poker nights with the boys, the life…
That’s what I wish to all of you. Cheers
The guys who are currently at the age where guys historically married for the first time, have likely watched their fathers, uncles, brothers, and friends get divorced and destroyed in family court. They lost their homes, access to their kids, half their assets, and are forced to pay the women who left them alimony and child support.
Men are more educated about marriage now. Half of marriages fail. 80% of divorces are filed by women. No fault divorce laws really makes the marriahe contract useless, and biased family courts make it an unacceptable risk.
Women in the west are not wife material. They lack family values and dont take vows seriously. They want the ring and wedding day, but they do not want to be wives. Modern women will marry with the intention of divorcing a few years down the road just to improve their finances. One of the most common times for women filing for divorce is right after her husband helps her pay off her student loans and other debt.
Two reasons are worth mentioning on why there is a decrease of marriage. One is the absence of the father or the mistreatment a father shows. And women being toxic on social media and encouraging each other to be toxic. And many of these women are also reacting to men being encouraged to be toxic by other men. Blame goes everywhere.
I understand that a serious commitment must be made & I completely agree. However, the legal system being structured in an antiquated way which incentivizes divorce when one party is inconvenienced is terrifying.
Why would I fly a plane if my co-pilot gets the only (golden) parachute if they bail and leave me for dead so they can fly the next plane?
Would you play Russian roulette with three out of six loaded?
@@clintit1 "You have to take risks to get ahead, but no risk that can wipe you out is ever worth taking. The odds are in your favor when playing Russian roulette. But the downside is not worth the potential upside. There is no margin of safety that can compensate for the risk."
-Morgan Housel
I don’t need the government to bless my relationship- I have a partner we are happy - I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me how to live my life with my partner
I worked for child protective services. No matter the circumstance, the dad/husband is always looked at as the bad parent/criminal by default by the court and social workers. Even when there's overwhelming evidence supporting the father being the better parent. Even in situations where the children want to be with their dad over their mom for support and safety, the dad is screwed over legally and financially.
I would be a fool to even date these days. Most of my college mates that married during or right after college are already divorced. No thanks. I don't want any kids. I'll be fine until I die and I'll do it with a smile on my face because I will never pay child support and alimony.
Great vid, dude. I’ve also heard the idea that people are hesitant to bring children into the the toxic political and ecological environments that we currently live in…
In truth, it’s our responsibility to grow positive habits within ourselves and pass on those traits. That is the only way the societies will change.
Definitely. The reason you cite isn’t the only reason I voted with my vas deferens, but it certainly was a factor
I’m 24 y/o and the prospects for me are marrying a masculine women with a high chance I will leave the marriage broken, or a ran through girl with a body count of 50+. I want a women that has principles and decency. I want my kids, if I ever had them, to have their mom home to raise them. I wouldn’t mind working myself to death for that. I saw every male role model I had growing destroyed by divorces that honestly didn’t need to happen. I was made to grow up without my dad to guide me. Traditional is gone in the west. Best advice I’ve gotten is look for opportunities in other countries that respect you. It’s no secret the decline in America matches with when no fault divorce and all that came about. Destroy the family and men fall behind. Women dominated societies do not last long. 66% of 20-29 American men in this situation is a shocking number that the left blames on the young men. The only reason they mention it on the left is because the young men arent spending their money as much or even trying to work because they don’t need much to survive as a single man. Marriage isn’t about raising the next generation of Americans to be the best they can anymore. It’s a money game. A transfer of wealth in a divorce. Broken kids look to the government as fathers. Keep the work force saturated and you never have to actually pay people more. Only time they half way appreciate us is when it’s time to suit and go to war. Well I think I would rather move towards finding a path to citizenship in a country that views family as the most important pillar in society. I just broke off an engagement with a girl who, after a five year long relationship, had to have her wishes met but mine were secondary. I can’t bring myself to pay taxes to, or fight for a nation with various bits of legislation only designed to punish men. Domestic violence perpetrated by women is laughed about as boss b*tch stuff. This society is decaying. American men are smart and hardworking. Countries around the world are facing demographic issues. Just our ancestors came here for opportunity, if we are brave, and do our research we could go elsewhere for opportunity as well.
I'm impressed with how insightful you are at such a young age. Perhaps a little too insightful idk. Unsolicited advice - yes, look globally for a traditional wife but be very selective and communicate with many (for a long time) before committing. It's easy to fall for the first or second feminine beauty you communicate with. That's a mistake. Approach from a perspective of abundance because there truly is an abundance of opportunity. Best of luck.
I am a retiree living in Thailand and married to a Thai women. What you suggest is easy for me but not so easy for young people. There are very very few countries where an American expat can attain citizenship and when you can it is pretty difficult. Americans overseas are still obligated to pay federal taxes though you won't be double taxed so it depends on where you earn your income. If you work in low cost of living income countries you will often be restricted as to what jobs you can do and you definitely don't want to be working at local wages. You need to be earning western dollars or you will save nothing for the future. Many countries will not allow you to own land. The women are more traditional but there are still relationship and cultural and possibly language issues to consider. And then there is all you are leaving behind which depends on your ties to where you grew up.
Truth is, AI is about to take careers away from women. When you look at the types of work it will be doing in the short term, most of that is work women currently do most of, e.g., teaching, Human Resources, executive assistant, customer service rep, bank teller, cashier… these positions are most vulnerable to having AI take over
Great comment. Nailed it.
Yes, its dying, because the law give financial incentives for women to get divorced the moment they say "I do", especially in a hypergamy marraige.
You seem like a good dude, and I hope you married the right person. All im hearing from you though is that you got married because you are not a quitter. Which is a good morale to have but to me a bad reason to get married. Stay strong💪✊
Man, don't even think about giving up!
You're an undiscovered gem, never forget that! 😉
Part of me wonders if this is just a lagging indicator of economic factors. If younger people aren't financially stable or set up for long-term success, marriage might get put on hold. This is more of a factor in more traditional societies where the man needs a job/the assets to support the woman (as you touched on), but I don't think that underlying attitude has entirely disappeared in American society either
Idk man it’s growing up fatherless with a manipulative mother who divorced my small business owning dad for money for me. I’m 24 y/o and bought my house at 21. Just broke off an engagement because I want traditional. Not a masculine woman. In a society that can’t really define a woman until it’s divorce court time. No thanks.
It is for me personally. I'm college educated in accounting and have made above average for a bit (nothing crazy though). I run my own finances, and frankly all these milestones to life are just way too expensive to be worth it now. And the path to get there is just as expensive. To be paying off student loans on a bachelor's, then a masters, then save for retirement, and then put a down payment on a home, and then pay the interst on a huge mortgage is a huge portion of income. Then add the cost of children and child care to the mix. Nah I'm good. I'd rather just live my life. I've been doing fine on my own, there's no real incentive to pursue the rest
One of the worst rationalizations for marriage I’ve ever heard. I wish you good luck.
I think that rugged individualism that has been taken to the extreme is what has contributed to this decline of marriage. This has been a great video and a joy to listen to.
"Live your best life! Have incredible relationships, just don't get state divorce laws involved. They will dictate your finances in the likely event your marriage becomes non-functional! Be careful out there! I wanna keep ya outta my office!"- Jonathan Noble Esquire. Pennsylvania divorce attorney who has practiced in the fields of divorce and family law for 20 years.
i would never enter into such a dangerous contract in business so why would i do it privately.
if the state was not involved my attitude would be different.
I actually believe this is good news. Maybe now the societal pressure to be in a relationship will subside and people will learn to be independent.
sounds to me you are already married and try to retro justify that marriage is the only way to dedicate yourself to a relationship
He’s wearing a ring on his left ring finger
I was married for 35 years before I divorced. I would never do it again. My ex husband really wanted a child, I did not. But I finally, in year 15, agreed to do the child thing. In truth, my former husband only wanted to say he was a father, he didn't want to actually do the hard work it took to be a father. Joke was on me. But I am so very grateful to have my daughter, who I raised alone as a single mother. She knows what kind of struggle it is to raise a child, and although she did get married, she is not going to have children. And given everything being what it is, I can't blame her.
I'm a gay man and was in a relationship with my life partner for 30 years until he passed away in 2020. We got married in 2018 but people considered us as married before then. We were truly partners although I took care of him as he had Parkinson's and lung cancer. We got married to legalise our partnership. You marry someone for the love and support you give one another.
That's cute sadly no one cares about marriage any more
Forget marriage stay single 👍
Loved his concept that marriage is a committment to something bigger than each other. A third entity.
That 3rd entity used to be God. Now it's the state.
There were a lot of marriages in the 60s and 70s because the Boomers doing it had no example of their parents getting divorced, or other families.
Marriage started to decline in the 1980s because those doing it did have that reference point to consider, because many of their parents did get divorced.
That means many kids saw what divorce did to their families, the new people it brought in and the need to funnel large amounts of the family's wealth (if not all of it) to the newcomers. Often the first marriage children were totally forgotten as the new family or families formed. Many people from that era hate marriage because of that. They've lost their inheritance to strangers who are incentivized to drive a wedge between them and their parent(s). New kids get all the attention also, and get more than the first batch of kids because the houses are now paid off (but the benefits of that went to the new set of kids or kid, not the old one(s)).
I know men and women who don’t want to marry it’s like working at a toxic job you just can’t escape
In the beginning I felt like the "passport bros" was just a bunch of hype. But now I know someone who is trying to bring their south american woman back to the states. The truth hits differently when it happens to someone you personally know.
I can relate to your same reasoning. I’ve come to this reason through being mostly a single mum the last 20 years and seeing what that dedication to a person outside myself has GIVEN to me. I know it would be a different dynamic with a partner vs a child. But the same principles apply. In a healthy dynamic, giving to someone else, sticking things out when times are TOUGH, these experiences seem like something that TAKE from you, but in reality they GIVE to you in the long run. And that’s what I’m looking for in a partnership. Also, prenups are always an option to keep the financial side of things less threatening for the men.
I agree with the video and have also noticed a trend where many people delay getting married because they cannot afford the lavish wedding and ring they dream of. This suggests that marriage has become more about showcasing one's affluence to others rather than committing oneself to a lifelong relationship with a significant other. This trend is evident in the increasing number of couples who maintain separate bank accounts, split bills like roommates, and deliberately keep certain aspects of their lives hidden from each other. Society has emphasized independence to such an extent that many people have grown up without the ability to comprehend the concept of sharing a life with another person. As a result, marriage is becoming less relevant, as we continue to lose our sense of community and place a higher value on complete independence. There was once a balance between self-sufficiency and being part of a group, but now people seem to be pushing for one or the other. They either focus solely on themselves and distance themselves from others, or they rely solely on a group and are unable to take care of themselves. In my opinion, we are entering dangerous times as a society if this trend continues.
me me me mine does not work in a "us" relationship. "us" anything has been totally lost to our new narcissistic reality. the last half dozen so called marriages ive witnessed have been openly based on what one can get from another. jesus, a complete farce, right out of the gate. lets see how that works out for them?
Too late
Women want the ring and the wedding day more than they want to be wives. With no fault divorce laws, the woman can file for divorce the second she gets bored or decides she wants someone else. And the woman profits from ending the marriage. There is zero reason for men to get married in modern USA.
Two people can have a long lasting commited relationship, including having children, without signing a marriage license.
@@lawv804 0 reasons.
@@lawv804 It is true that you can live as if you are married; however, it is not a full commitment. You have decided not to fully trust the person you are with. There is a certain risk that comes with marriage, and you are correct: if you do not trust the person, you should not marry them. Furthermore, if you do not trust someone, I personally do not believe you should be with them, and you definitely should not be having kids with them.
Based on what I have noticed in people who choose not to get married, they will enter any relationship treating it as if they are married to the person, yet always leaving their foot in the door, keeping the opportunity to run. What a marriage is supposed to represent is that this person is different from the others who came before, and you are going all in. You have entered the relationship and closed the door behind you.
Yes, both women and men have the right to seek a divorce for any reason. In today's society, many women contribute financially to relationships as much as, or even more than, men do in some cases. Additionally, even if a woman or man decides to stay at home and raise children instead of contributing financially, they still play a vital role in building a life. It is important to know what you value in a relationship, whether it's someone who contributes financially or someone who contributes through homemaking, and to choose a partner who shares those values. A ring does not transform a gold digger into a wife.
In my opinion, people who believe marriage is only a piece of paper are no different from those who go through the motions of getting married for the dress and the ring. Neither group fully grasps that the ritual experience of marriage is a metamorphosis, and it cannot be simply decided or achieved by going through the motions. Some form of meaningful and ritualistic commitment is necessary to truly embrace its significance.
Also, depending on the state and the situation, a no-fault divorce can be contested. Furthermore, if you enter a relationship bringing in a significantly larger amount of material wealth, you can always opt for a prenuptial agreement, which provides protection and dispels any unfair rumors about your spouse being a gold digger.
Yes, as you say 11:17 "you will learn something fundamental about being human." Let's sync up in about 10 years....I would love to hear what you have learned. I agree with the sentiments as when I got married we felt the same, it was a communal commitment to something greater...family. I was not really aware or all that concerned of the "government contract" behind the spiritual ceremony but times have changed. I wish you well to hold steadfast, together, against the suffering that life will bring along with all the blessings.
In the end, for our society to save the institution of marriage we will need to strip the government out of it. It should be only a spiritual & loving construct with ceremony if wanted but ultimately a exchange of vows between two people. If it fails then the chips fall where they will but the police & legal system are where the were at the beginning, not involved.
The only way marriage to return by theese only conditions:
No women being favor .
Divorce should be only accepted by both parties if someone want Divorce so bad okay but it will get nothing no child support nor some own house no alimony.
Any false demostic abuse accusations will be punished by being in jail.
Alimony should be atleast 2 years only.
Child Support should be only with kids is 9 years old.
Women cant take man house it his house not hers let her find her own home.
No more 50/50.
Divorce laws. Men get divorced and have to pay after. That's not cool! You leave you leave with what you come with! Your not married anymore!! I'm not paying alimony! No thanks! I'm married and make 120K and year and my wife makes 26k. I'm 58 and retiring at 62 because I hate my career. I am leaving the high paying job now for the fear if she up and left I would be forced to maintain that income level and stuck in a terrible career which means more schooling in my 60's. Been married 32 years and every time we have an argument that thought goes through my head. So this year I will become a low income person and worse case I lose half the house. At least I want be stuck paying tons of alimony!! Hate to sound this way but you have to know it could happen!
What really changes getting married ? The certificate ... and getting harder destroyed when it comes to divorce.
Its the courts its just not fair on guys
Okay. Very interesting. I really enjoyed your analysis of why fewer people are dating/marrying and why the "rules of the game" have changed; that all makes perfect sense. However, regarding your rationale for getting married, you basically told us you are taking a risk which is what marriage basically boils down to today given the very high divorce rate. Will you have a 50 year (or longer) marriage like so many people have had who got married after WW2 for example? I hope so, but the odds are stacked against you statistically speaking! 52m never married.
Lol this guy is going to get graped in divorce court. Buddy, you sound like you're doing all the work keeping the relationship together while your wife goes and gets pumped and dumped. Stop trying to give advice when you've only been married for 4 years.
Marriage in this curent hyper digital Society aint worth it. Marriage back when we had cottages and farmland it was totally worth it but with the direction the world is heading im not bringing children into this
Dude, you have all those videos explaining how much fucked up we are nowadays as men and then you go ahead and get urself in a marriage... sorry, but it doesn't make sense.
Anyways, I hope it works out for you.
Men are wiser now, If have any future sons, I will not recommend or encourage marriage to my sons in family court and marriage laws change. Only 1% of 1% of men find a women or wife that will his back no matter what. Most men in marriages get cheated by the wife and he don’t even know. I’m single and no children. You know how many married women and women in formal relationships cheat on their lovers like nothing. To each men their own and their eventual downfall modern marriage.
Youre wrong about all of it.
Men are the ones not choosing marriage.
Just to clarify. Did you get a prenup with your marriage?
Marriage is not for men. Don't do it. Even if you don't lose most of what you own in divorce, you'll be stuck with someone that would rather do anything other than sleep with you.
It’s worse, marriage is still alive. It’s a wonder people still engage in that Russian roulette game.
People who think they're exempt from statistics and data baffle me but do you brother
in other words: 😊I chose marriage because my girlfriend made me
Yes, it is dead if you have any clue as to what’s going on
About time
You need the government to commit to a relationship? What you're saying is it is necessary to have a legal contract to keep you in a relationship that you might otherwise leave if things went south. This is the problem with most people today. They need a big brother, whether it be the state or religion, to tell them how to live their lives. Part of being an independent, mature adult is learning to be accountable for one's own decisions without having to defer to an outside entity to keep you committed to your word. Being indoctrinated into a system where you are constantly being told that you have to answer to an authority keeps people in an infantile state and prevents them from becoming sovereign, responsible and independent thinking individuals. In the end, people are going to do what they want anyway and as the laws of marriage become more draconian the divorce rates will continue to skyrocket. A legal piece of paper is not going to prevent someone from leaving an unhappy marriage.
Marriage makes sense for the rich and celebrities, stupid for the working poor (especially men). Massages and HJ are cheaper.
really enjoyed listening to your reasoning for getting married! I've never wanted to get married and involve the government in my relationship, but i do love the idea of committing yourself to the relationship and the growth of each other. Thank you!
For men its not worth it
I hear the message you are saying, but I don't agree that you need marriage to have a proclamation of commitment to one another. People can leave a marriage just like they can leave a relationship. I'm not seeing how binding yourself to a 3rd entity called "marriage" is any different from binding yourself to a 3rd party called a "relationship", except that it carries additional legal implications, which you highlight are not in men's favor. You could choose to have the same relationship with a woman without marriage.
What I'm surprised you didn't mention is the reason for getting married based on children. At least in the US, health insurance is tied (explicitly) to your spouse and dependents if you opt into that route. When including full family costs, this gets quite expensive to have to pick and choose who's insurance to use. For children, health care can be an enormous cost, so having this ironed out can be a big deal. On the finance side, if one spouse works while the other doesn't, you are effectively taxed as if you make 1/2 the income as if you were single, potentially adding up to quite a lot.
I don't agree that it is as easy to leave a legal marriage as it is to leave a relationship. My CA divorce was easy by any standards but it was still a significant process taking a couple of lawyers and 6-8 months to complete. A little bit of friction to just walking away can keep people together during difficult times. The ease allows people to separate if the relationship becomes toxic or abusive.
your marriage math is nothing more than a self justified, nice thought. reality ck.... she wakes up, looks at you, decides she can do better, and your life has just ended. your new position in your ex familys lives has been totally handed over to her, and her bad decisions. kids today are nothing more than lil insurance policy's to her, so she can do, say, whatever she wants, whenever she wants. they are also a very good source of lots of extra income provided by non other than you for a very loooong time to further punish you for your bad decision. reality math beats nice thought math every time.
I would rather have my bitcoins. I cannot trust women anymore!🤑
I’m 26 & wouldn’t get married if I’m not thinking fully emotionally when involved with a long term female. If there’s anyway I would get married it would be without papers involved(if even possible😂) & if the female is involved in building wealth together individually.
Muslim women wear the hijab in public, but they also shop at Victoria secret for their husband at home.
There are others that wear Victoria's secret in PUBLIC and at home tell their partners to go.....
A lot of men have not experienced a woman's personality, femininity and presence, that has not been effected by them receiving constant simping attention, jealousy/competition from other females and media pedestalizing them.
There are good and bad ppl in all groups.
Muslim are amongst the most Conservative, chaste, feminine women in the world. They are family minded and get married without playing expensive dating games that lead to nowhere.
Islam is the fastest growing religion in the USA, UK, Canada, Europe and the whole world.
UK alone sees every year 5000 ppl revert to islam. Of those 5000 about 3000 are women, mostly white women, who are university educated with an average age of 27.
When they come to the dheen (religion) Conservative values follow. And they look to get married and have kids. As muslim women marry Muslim men only. This way we gain an excess demographic of young women.
Long af comment in-coming because I like to ramble a lot lol forgive me 😅
I will likely get married (if my bf, who has expressed several times that he’d like to marry me in the future, doesn’t change his mind (I’m personally indifferent to marriage)).
One thing I like about the idea of me getting married is that I can feel I’m working towards a common goal with another person. I like to support people and usually overdo it so that I run out of time to help everyone and then feel bad about it 😅 and because I’m highly shy, I can only help strangers online by providing resources or opinions, which is good but I will never see them and like my family members say, it can be seen as a waste of time (I don’t think so but it’s hustle culture so nothing is given for free to a stranger). But when I get a husband, he’s the person I spend the most time with and I can listen to his venting, brainstorm ways to solve problems, cook food that will make him happy, etc, and I can see that the hours I spend on him actually help him be a happier person. Ig one can argue I already do that with my bf, and I couldn’t really explain it in a logical way why it’s different, but I think marriage might make it feel more rewarding since, as family, his happiness would affect me more than it does as a stranger that is labeled “girlfriend”.
On the same vein of having a common goal, one thing I’d like to do in the future is to either foster or adopt a child. I’m antinatalist so I don’t want to create a life, but I’d like to support a life that is already here to have a chance that they might not otherwise have had. My bf is also on board with that, and I think it’d be great help if we could work together to make that dream a reality. Taking care of a child is a lot of financial, mental, physical, emotional labor, so being able to divide the work between two people would be definitely better for me, and I’m sure for him as well.
That said, I think these kinds of goals aren’t super mainstream (when I tell people I wanted a boyfriend to have someone to support (in all aspects except financially cause I’m broke 😅) rather than to be supported, people were confused af), so that means for most people marriage wouldn’t be worth. I also wouldn’t get married if my bf were against it, because though there’s the good things I listed, there’s also negatives that bring my wish to marry down to indifference. I think people don’t like that they aren’t able to get married now because they think that’s the norm and we like to fit the norm, but in the following generations it shouldn’t be a big deal because it’ll be the norm to not get married.
Nice to hear someone explaining why they get married outside of it being a religious reason. It makes a more compelling reason then hiding behind religion 😊❤
9:32
So you needed to sign a document with the States as a way of showing committment to the relationship itself? How does that make sense? So you couldn't do that without signing a document with the State? I understand much of what you're saying, but men could get the wrong idea from this.
I like the video but the comment section was something different. Keep it the great videos🦋
I never wanted to get married which I knew since I was 7 years. At this point, I understand too many men have been burdened with divorce, alimony, child support and losing their bank accounts. Now at 39 and when I think about it, I think people get married because they want companionship, sexual satisfaction and financial security which is inherently selfish.😒😒😒😒😒😒
Well I am glad to hear you married for a better reason than expectations or some legal reason
DONT GET MARRIED!
Did you marry out of court? Im married under common law
6:00 I think that's where that "fundamental flaw" I was talking about stems from.
3,800,000,000 women
21,000,000 bitcoin
Bitcoin goes up on a 4+ year time frame, women age like milk😂
Not worth it. No point.
An unconscionable contract! Why sign it when you stand to lose your wealth & kids.
I think part of the problem is that people don't plan or prepare ahead. In the event it doesn't work out.
. .🙄
Good luck...and watch your six.
1. Abolish all forms of alimony / spousal support. Period. No exceptions. 2. Reset community property rights only to activate after proven adultery or proven physical abuse. Filing for divorce for any other reason then no community property. 3. Thorough monthly audits of child support payments ensure money is actually spent on the children. Put these new improved laws in place and you will see enduring real marriages.
How?! is that a billion dollar industry
in a fair world, this would've already happened. unfortunately, this is will never happen as there so much money to be made from bankrupting men in general because we earn most of the world's money.
so you just make videos by repeating JP Petersons words
Hi 65 year old man married the girl I loved at20 divorce at24 realize that marriage is a scam staying single till I was41 dating younger woman having 3 long term relationships today I am glad I never got married again being single so long prepared me for the times we live in today I feel that I have something to offer in life. To younger men when they ask for advice. I at 65 am amazingly healthy and steel attract younger ladies that think I am defrent and enjoy my masculinity I ride my bikes to staying in shape go into the woods do Bush crafts wear I have had a great time teaching what I know I have learned that just being really present and giving good eye contact letting them truly feel safe and developing repore is a rare thing today I deal with life a day at a time but have been told by more then a handful of ladies25 to45years old that I possess something rare in men today don't truly understand why but I do think I come from a different mind set and time
Women hold their husbands hostage under threat of false accusations. Wow, fascinating.
in my 40 years on this planet i learn not to trust people .
if i want to believe in something i belive in God . and in the Bible .
better read Samson and Delilah before mariage .