15 Personalities in One Woman (Mental Health Documentary) | Real Stories
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ย. 2019
- Meet Paula, a woman with 14 different personalities each living inside her mind. She has Dissociative Identity Disorder, a condition in which its victims have at least two distinct identities that express themselves and control their behavior.
Paula's "alters" range from a 12-year-old basketball player to a fragile 5-year-old. They share a common goal of protecting Paula from a childhood trauma.
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I met Paula today. She's working at a respite center helping trauma survivors like myself. The fact that she's still 10 years after this documentary devoting all her time to help survivors means so much.
wow, that is amazing-one's pain can be converted into passion, one of the silver linings of pain-it causes us to care deeply for others who suffer as we have. Funny, I have not looked at this post in some time, but I found a comment from one of the trolls in my email, and came on to give her a reply, and you wrote your comment just today. Thank you for sharing this, to show the kindness and altruism of Paula, and to still the comments of those who want to say unkind or judgmental things about her, or about those with DID.
Thank you for letting us know she is doing well. I came to the comments to see where I could find out how she was doing x
That's amazing. I hope she is continuing to do well and I hope you are doing better too. I'm sorry that you went through whatever it was that hurt so much. I had a pretty tough life growing up myself and wish you nothing but the best
@@myjoyisCHRIST don't let the trolls get to you. I hope you have an amazing day
@@Corrie-_- Thank you for your uplifting encouragement
My mother had (DID) back then it was called MPD (Multiple personality disorder) her childhood was filled with massive physical and sexual abuse. All her personalities liked me for the most part. My friends thought it was so cool to have a mom that would play with us. I spent my childhood hiding this from everyone. I could always bring my mom back. Her alters would listen to me for the most part. She was a single mom of 3 kids at a young age. She was successful and was college educated and owned a home for us kids. She was a survivor. She could at times control it as life calmed down. She would get extremely tired when she switched alot. All her alters were kind. There was only 1 that was mean and agressive. She was like a tough woman with an accent. I only saw her once and that situation traumatized me. I had the most amazing wonderful mama. Sadly she died of cancer 5 years ago. We were best friends and close as ever. I feel lost in this world without my amazing mama. I hate that i was ashamed of her because of this growing up. But it was just fear people wouldnt understand. I still dont speak of her disorder.
You did great she was just as ashamed and she knew you was doing your best. As she was doing hers . She needed to be normal to have normal you was that to her. She never allowed you the pain she was forced to deal with so she was better then her own parents 💯% . You kept her sane and sturdy when her past and mind was chaos. You I could tell of all the things she could regret you and your siblings wasn't that yall was the beauty when the world was horrible yall was her best. Trust me her shame was that she knew sometimes you was embarrassed but she couldn't help it that's why you was able to pull her back in and they the alters would listen to you.
Reading this honestly brought a tear down my cheek. As a child I grew up with my mother being a paranoid schizophrenic and it scared me badly and I was raised for years from my dad and step mom. I lost my step mom at 17 and got into drugs for many years (life as a young child was hard). I've been clean 9 yrs and I miss my step mom dearly but me and my mother have gotten closer in the last 10-12 years and she takes her medication daily and I love her dearly. The difference is incredible. The fact that you speak so highly of your mom makes me smile. I too was ashamed for a long time and very afraid as well but was a child and as children, we don't understand. There wasn't much I could really do then but I try and make up for it as much as I can now. My daughter and I visit her regularly and they love each other too. My daughter doesn't know much about what I went through and I don't want her to see her grandma in any bad way. You are truly an inspiration to me and I can't express just how much your words touched my heart. I would just like to add as an edit that my dad is amazing too and I have been very lucky to have him. I've begun to cry so I will have to get off of you tube now but please know how amazing you are and how much your mom loved you no matter what❤️❤️❤️
@@kaleahcollins4567 you're very sweet
I truly believe my mother also had DID, but it was undiagnosed. Growing up, I couldn't understand WHY she was so different all the time. Unlike your mother, though, my mother's main identity was very mean. She was sexually abused during her childhood and then re-abused as a teenager by a boyfriend sexually and physically. I wish I had understood more. But I didn't until it was too late. She lost her battle to mental illness in 2018. Your mother sounds like such a strong, loving mother. Sending so much love.
My brother had did
One was really mean to me ..
all were mischievous and would steal..
"It's not literally real, but it's very psychologically real."
That's the best description of this disorder that I've heard. It doesn't matter if it's "real" or not, literally. It's real to the person and affecting them negatively, so that's what needs help.
I LOVE THIS. Thank you, Pumpkin!!
@@alexbledsoe5267 The man interviewing Paula said these words first. It's so definitive and helpful. God bless him and Paula and everyone in this thread that seeks others 👍 good, well being. You are so thoughtful.
My brother had this
IT IS LITERALLY REAL
Exactly the idea. It helps her cope with overwhelming trauma so Paula can function as an adult enough to survive daily life. Paula has great life skills but the other parts overwhelm her ability to be consistent and congruent throughout her life situations. I think I’m like this but there are no names. It’s exhausting, but understandable. Born very very sensitive in an environment with too much trauma stress for me to cope with.
I didnt agree with what the psych had to say about that. Kinda felt demeaning to her. Truth or not thats not her truth and who is to say how she lives or controls her life. Yes she is absent when the alters come out bcu, she cant face the reality of what happened to her. She probably feels like shes gonna lose herself if integrated bcuz the alters r all of her. So i can understand y she would feel alone. Its kinda sad but at the same time interesting. I hope shes successful in the stuff she does in her future.
I believe her!! Imagine how exhausting this would be to fake. Shes so strong and powerful.
She does ot for attention. There is no DID here. We all have issues and a past.....different parts of our personality come out to handle them. She just names them. Even her own sister who knows her best doesn't believe her...neither do i.
@@norakennedy4670 - How do you know with such assured certainty?
@@NOWtheband well it's just my opinion. But ur family really knows you and her own sister is saying it's bull. Just by watching her....I don't believe her. That's just my opinion...she knows what the other 'personalities' are doing....she's just full of it. Amazing how every personality loves the most fattening foods.
@@norakennedy4670 - ok
Mexican cartels movies
This just breaks my heart. This is what abuse does to a child's mind
@Question Everything I'm so sorry you've had to go through this :(.
That's why I believe there's no punishment harsh enough for abusers. Prison/Jail isn't enough. Maybe they can invent an implant that makes abusers suffer 1000 times worse than their victims? Everytime the victim suffers, abuser experiences it 1000 times worse. For life. One can dream
The abuse/trauma has to happen before the age of 7. Seven years old is when the personality fully intergrates and becomes whole.
Until that point its like fragments of who the person will be. So basically with the repeated abuse to that child those fragments become another personality to protect that child from the current situation. It wont happen to every child.
For anyone who really wants to learn about DID theres a channel on YT called DissociaDID and its amazingly educational.
@Nenethegreat W DID is not classified as a personality disorder, it is somatic and trauma genic. That is why when she switched there were physical changes in the body. If you have regression or other traits you don't have amnesia. That is why DID is not the same as personality disorders.
@Nenethegreat W
What do you mean not every child? I don’t want to take it out of context so asking for clarification to be sure.
Also may I ask if you’d elaborate more on you’re experience with people with DID (it just seems you must know people with DID to to have such conviction)?
But I also want to clear up some confusion you may be having. She states she has DID, which was previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder. The reason for the distinction is because this is a disorder of identity and not personality. But you are correct that she doesn’t have multiple personalities. Actually people with DID have less then one personality if you really break it down. I feel maybe you meant personality states of her identity?
But I do have to correct you and clarify the DID is NOT a Personality Disorder. I’m interested to hear about your assumptions truly, but I can’t back that I’ve.
The little girl saying “I don’t want to be hurt no more” broke my heart. This must be incredibly hard to deal with. Hearing about the doctor who told her she was faking for attention really made me angry, first of all that’s not how a medical professional should talk to a patient who is in distress whether he thinks it’s real or not, and the reason she ended up at the hospital in the first place was because she was clearly suffering, which she hardly would if she wanted to be this way/was in control of it. She (they?) is very brave to speak openly about this misunderstood condition. I wish her (them?) all the best.
Agreed!!
Some doctors/psychiatrist believe that playing into a person's delusions can be more damaging in the long run.
Some doctors shouldn't be doctors.
This affects a system more than you think it hurts a lot to hear it
My son's social worker said I pretend and act for attention. It's broken my heart because she always says I'm lying when I say I can't remember things. I have too much trauma why doesn't anyone believe and try to understand me rather than hurt me further.
The brain is such an incredible yet terrifying thing.
This lady is so strong. I hope she’s living a beautiful life now, filled with happiness and nothing but good memories 💕
🥰
Very much definitely feel similar, Love& respect all of you Paula, you've got so many ppl who love, respect, accept all of you! 🤟🏻❤️
The documentary was 10 years ago, I wonder how she/they're doing now.
I see TH-cam recommendations brought us all together today.
The Vegan Villainess 😂😂😂😂
Yes 😂
Its true we should cherish eachother now, as if this was the rajneesh commune 👍
It's not me, it's one of my alters.. 😜
LOL true
The human body is one mysterious crazy thing. And probably the most craziest part of it is you're brain
your* and your human body looks great!
She has the capacity to dissociate. That is a helpful thing for her mind to do in order to protect her.
Hi Richael...I'm trying to disassociate from your very nice pic.
Your grammar is atrocious.
@@Broadwaybutterfly21 guess what I don't give a s***
This is absolutely fascinating..I'm not too sure if Paula will ever see this comment.. But if she does.. Thank you Paula for sharing your story. And, Thank you to all your alters!
Same here, I just hope they're all doing wonderful, I too wish her happiness & hopefully may read our comments❤️❤️🤟🏻
and then there’s trisha paytas who makes a mockery of the community. thank god no one takes her seriously
People just laugh at her and hate her... The only one who likes her is Shane dawson bu he is an idiot for liking her
GoldDust i understand why he sticks by her, they’ve been friends for so long so i don’t dislike him for that. i just hope he’s being a real friend and telling her that she’s not helping herself right now
I'll never forgive her. I used to love her and defend her. Never again.
She might have another disorder going on. Idk. But it’s not DID.
Tbf she could very well be ill, I wouldn't be surprised if she feels like she has DID. it's OK to be open if you feel something is different.
I just wanted to give that poor woman a hug the whole time :(
try putting your arms around that
l
Laney Young why be rude? seriously, i’m genuinely curious
Or a cheeseburger.
@@delaneyyoung3661 thats so unnecessary
She was sexually abused. So "left her body: it makes sense and I hope she gets help. I believe her
God help her
dian kreczmer, Exactly, She had to deal with that plus being bullied at school, plus the fear of intimacy and trying to fit in. It's sad to think she continues with bullies as adults to this day. I hope GOD judges them with more kindness than they judge her.
joann dettrey 🥺 it literally breaks my heart... I could cry for her. Poor sweet baby. I hope she can give herself the love she didn’t get back then.
Where was God back then???
@@rosejeldon8544 I was raised by my Baptist minister father, so my foundation was started with this, glue. But I'm well into my sixties, my blessed father battling with dementia and after years of service to others, is now been left abandoned, struggling to find a place he can afford to stay until he dies. That "glue" has weakened, for me, so the question, "where is or was God?", is one that I battle with, even after having built a life on that foundation. I'm beginning to think the entire idea, is the original "bread and circus". Just saying, I ask the same question Rose and after all this time, still don't have an answer. I'm wondering if it's like the equivalent of the lottery, you buy a ticket, hoping and praying, then you lose but continue to keep buying those tickets. But nobody really knows if it's real or not and even if someone tells you their proof, it's still based on something you yourself haven't experienced. So, do you trust you head, which has been programmed and manipulated to think how "they" want you to think, as opposed to thinking for one's self. Or your gut, instinct, feeling, or perspective, should that be the driving force propelling an individual through their personal human experience. To process it without fear if it takes someone "out of the box". I prefer the latter myself. Go with your gut, never ever stop asking questions, search always for your own truths in life. Never allow your voice to be silenced. See ya around Rose Jeldon, hope your life is going the way you're manifesting it. If this makes any sense at all, maybe I've got dementia too! : )
@@debbieprokop9401 ok boomer
The spooky music is so inappropriate.
ikr it just adds to the negative stigma
No dude, it's classical music, dont you feel the longing in the piano notes?
@@jojozepofthejungle2655 so? spooky is a feeling
@@2witzrs the subject was about music and it being "inappropriate" and how it struck someone as being "spooky". This was NOT about anyone's feelings.
I was not disagreeing with the above commentor. I am 50 and adding a bit of knowledge from my years of listening to classical music. I can't see why you have a problem with this 🤔
@@jojozepofthejungle2655 You're phrase begins with "No, dude" and you're saying your not disagreeing? Ok, you seem to be trying too hard to not understand what we're saying. I have better things to do.
Did they really say "omg this disorder is so misunderstood, we gotta change that!" then put scary music over this woman speaking about her disorder?
Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and died on a cross for our sins so we live again! God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and God will forgive you!🥰
It’s a show. Relax
@@oliviagrace6914 shut up lmfaooooooo 🤡 cult freak
@@oliviagrace6914 gods not real
At least she’s in charge. My aunt’s personalities all fought to be the main personality. They’d tell my aunt that they were going to lock her in a case in the basement... I guess there was a world in her mind where they all existed, fighting to come out. One was left handed, one was an artist, one liked making model cars... so strange.
She also was sexually abused at age 6, and one of the personalities was that 6 year old.
My aunt is fine now, mentally, but does have MS. My mom hypothesizes that perhaps the personalities were the early onset of Ms... the nerve endings wearing away and misfiring somehow caused this personality disorder? Who knows. But it’s been 20 years and my aunt no longer has the personality disorder and instead is being ailed (and treated) for MS. Who knows?
@@ellemichelle261 The brain is truly a amazing thing. There's the physical aspects, emotional & psychological aspects. Maybe the parts that helps a person escape becomes so accustomed to it that it becomes the norm. Maybe it is partly disease, birth defect...or combination of all when circumstances are right.
I'm sorry your aunt had to deal with & suffer from DID. Must have been such a struggle for her to endure. I hope her ms treatment is going well. Mental illness of any should never have a stigma to it as no one wants to grow up to have mental illness. The brain is still such a mystery & I find it fascinating & so complex. Thank you for sharing your aunt's story.
And yet so creative and beautiful.
Nathan T Thank you for that information! Very useful!!
I'm so curious about the left handed aspect, was she really good at being left handed immediately
I get this totally. I am a survivor of CEN (childhood emotional neglect) where I had to hide any strong or negative emotions as they weren't acceptable in my family. Combined with a narcasstic mother I have suffered from lifelong depression which started at age 6/7. I can't remember much of my childhood and young adulthood and I was always accused of daydreaming. It wasn't but it was dissociation and depersonalisation. Fortunately I have had counselling and meds which helped a lot. It has damaged my life though to this day. I really feel for this lady and have some understanding of how damaged she is.
❤💪🏻
Good God, there is a label for everything. I can’t keep up. Most kids from my generation weren’t allowed to show anger or voice an actual opinion. I’m sure that affected people differently. I just didn’t know there was a name for it.
Very similar story to yours except alcoholic narc mom
I know, what you are talking about. My case is very similar (narcisstic mother and CEN). I hope you'll find your inner peace.
@@tanyarobinson2098 without the label, therapy cannot break through the utter internal chaos. It only makes sense once labeled, because it can be so confusing. And I think you misunderstood something; she wasn't just told to stuff her anger, or her opinion, she was SEXUALLY ABUSED, so for you to minimize it or compare it to your experience, and even blame her for how it affected her is unfair. This woman was extremely brave to open up and be honest and vulnerable, even though she knew trolls would say cutting or insulting comments. I send her love and admiration for her bravery!!!
I love that this woman has been able to accomplish a master's degree! This would stop most people in their tracks in regards to progressing in life .. She is amazing !
I was abused as a child and only have 4 plus myself. I cant imagine having 15. I remember having a very same experience with the mirror as I was growing up. Thank you for opening up about this!!!
@@deemanik3914 hey, you probably didn't mean to be rude, but it is sort of inappropriate to ask a person with trauma what they went through
When did it start? What did you hear?
Sorry to hear this, I was a baby and abused and my 3 of my alters started when I was 8-9. Mostly the 5 year old child and Father play out more than her older version of her. I barely can be myself because managing myself and the 3 other alters are physically and Mentally draining since I was 8.
Annie -KelseyVlogShorts imagine having 92 alters like Truddi Chase
I can’t entirely tell. It’s weird because I know about 4 alters (including me) who shift through based on what needs to be done or who I’m with, but I always have this sense that a “boss lady” alter knows about several who I have no knowledge of but can kind of feel in a vague way, almost like a sense of distant “body heat,” it’s hard to describe. It’s also really tough bc the amnesia is so powerful, I BARELY remember between the 4 parts I am at least aware of.
I had to pause for a second midway to write...that police sketch artist is incredible, especially without reference features to draw from, and whoever cast the models based on those sketches literally did an INSANELY amazing job. It was so precise I'm floored.
The sketch artist is very talented but I imagine the documentary makers cast the alters first and then got him to sketch the actors (the bit we saw of him talking to Paula would be a bit of creative licence)
No wonder she really wants to prove she's not lying probably one of the biggest reason is her own sister.
Surely seems like her sister isn't helpful.
Yes I thought that. Her sister seems to lack understanding and compassion.
It’s seems like her entire family just isn’t that supportive either. Even tho they knew she was a little different than the rest . I really would love an update on her after 10 years and what had been going on with her process .
My thoughts exactly. While it is true that no one can fully understand something, unless they have gone through it themselves, you can also choose to be a decent human being and show compassion and at least TRY to be more open to learning and understanding a person's experience; without immediately being openly judgmental, and dismissive like her sister (Kelly I believe her name was) appeared to be.
My immediate thought when watching this video was "I bet my life, that she has been accused of faking it by a bunch of ignorant people". But clearly D.I.D is a very REAL, very SERIOUS condition, and it genuinely angers me that someone could see how distressed Paula is (especially when talking about Teddy Claire's behaviors) and accuse her of making it all up for attention.
“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams..
Such a strong and admirable woman. How awful she experienced so much abuse and bullies and still has to deal with them now. She is an inspiration
Such an interesting story....she truly turns into that person at the moment. Her demeanor, everything...is there to protect her. That must be tough to have so many different voices in your head...definitely something hard to deal with on a daily basis. Wishing her continued success in her journey ahead. :)
It's hard to imagine the amount of prolonged pain and suffering that would cause your brain to completely dissociate yourself and create a new person (or multiple) to take the damage. Truly an interesting thing for humans to be capable of, but horrifying how people have to endure such pain.
Why are they putting scary music in the background ? That’s literally offensive bruh it’s not a scary story it’s a real disorder
it’s a documentary. it’s supposed to draw people on and create emotion. grow up. this is a scary disorder and even she says it multiple times
J Embrr the disorder itself is already scary but putting that unnecessary music in the Background is just childish and wrong. Tf are you telling me to grow up when I just shared my opinion, says a lot about you as well huh
It's spiritual.
They are spirits taking over her body.
@@FullRedditStories7 it’s adding stigma
@@AmberWoodMusicx I agree - the music is something from a halloween soundtrack and is unecesssary
I like melinda. She has a really good reason to take over. She only takes over when she needs to, not when she wants.
I'm glad shes gotten help and is no longer having periods of time where she doesnt remember anything. ❤
What do you both mean? Of course she has times of memory loss... That's how DID works. Additionally she doesn't have a personality disorder, the body has multiple identities which comes hand-in-hand with dissociation. A person with Dissociative Identity Disorder has Dissociation AND different identities, aka 'alters'.
I wish this woman and her system the best of luck in the future.
the alters alive for us were amazingly spot on! It wasn’t just their uncanny resemblance to the drawings, it was the look in the eyes, the tilt and the attitude behind the expressions. As an actor, acting coach, and director I can truly appreciate the level of quality here.
Paula, I know and understand your journey with DID. I was diagnosed DID/SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) from birth to ten. My addiction to food helped me to stuff down my horrific pain. I always knew someone broke my leg so I wouldn't talk. I always knew they told me I had polio; which was a lie. I always had the thought, "was it a crib or a cage" and later understood from my alter that it was a cage. I used food to self-destruct to cover up the self-hate which I never understood. Many counselors/pastors/clinics didn't understand me, and the pain below the surface. At 68 I finally found someone who understood DID/SRA. My alters were held down by the demonic. When my counselor dealt with the demonic, all 20 alters were able to surface to tell their stories. In 1-1/2 years in prayer counseling each multiple personality told their story, were healed, and then integrated back into my heart where they broke off from, at an early age. Today I am fully integrated, fully healed of their trauma, and whole. In integration each one of them made me stronger, I now have their strengths their understanding, and their insights. They haven't been lost, they have completed my heart and we are now ONE. All my alters have written a book about "their truths, their healing, and their integration." Thank you so much for your bravery, for putting yourself out there, for being real, and for educating the world of DID. I would love to talk with you.
I do not want to get too personal but I do not know who to ask. Did you know you were involved in SRA? Like you remembered it and knew it was your family? Or can it be absolutely totally unknown…. ? I am asking Bc I am now 36 with some types of memories surfacing …
@@alyciamarie4163 There is a private support group for SRA Survivors. "Christian Women SRA Survivor Support Group.". Wonderful outreach. I went to training for clergy regarding abuse in my early 40's. The first two speakers were pastors coming out of SRA. I was triggered. I am now 76 and there was very little help back then. I found a wonderful counselor at age 68. I had 20 plus personalities to heal. The group I mentioned above is great. They are all SRA Survivors. Blessings, Sharon
Did the people abusing you go to jail
@@originalchildclown no, my SRA did not surface until I was 67, and they all died by then. It took that long to find a counselor that understood all I had been through. Today there is more help available. ❤️❤️
@@alyciamarie4163 From a very early age I knew I was afraid of my grandfather, who was actually my biological father. The memories started surfacing slowly in my late 40's and 50's. Got help at 67. I clearly knew then that there were more relatives involved. The hardest thing to process was my grandmother was involved, she was one of them. The one person I really loved was part of my abuse. In my heart I have forgiven her, because I believe she too was forced to do what she did. I have peace today, I am healed. ❤️❤️🔥
the topic is very interesting, considering how little we know about the brain. what pisses me off though is the editing of the whole thing. they make it feel almost like a horror movie with suspense unstead just showing it through an undistorted lense. the poor woman. people with d.i.d. face enough prejudice and fear already because we can't understand what's going on with them and media made them out to be dangerous, and here this documentary is giving it a horror vibe
It didn't feel like a horror but suspense is right which I guess keeps people watching.
100% agree
@Nenethegreat W you're wrong
I agree. I wished they didn’t put “filter” on this documentary. She was brave and compliant with them. I pray and hope for her healing.
I don't feel bad vibes here. On the contrary: I see this lady being cared for, allowed to talk, to express herself, free, shopping, eating, drawing... What's the horror? She knows who she is and she is fine with it. I see acceptance, too.
Awe I feel so honored to have gotten to know Paula and all her alters. I'm sorry for what happened to you for you to need alters. And in case no one told you, it was never your fault. You did nothing wrong. On a positive note, you are helping those who do have a mental health disorder that it's ok to talk about it as well as helping those who don't have DID what it is and how it effects your life. For that I thank you. You're so brave!
When mom told us kids her diagnosis MPD, at the time, everything made sense… I would look at situations & how she was acting. She integrated with the help of a great therapist. Though, she always had terrible depression. Mom & I were in a great place when she passed. I miss her so much. Man, she was funny too. ❤️
How very amazing that Paula could create her own protection from the horrible deeds done to her. She is one brave woman who should be admired for her strength and perseverance. I hope she finds more and more happiness in her life. I wish you only the best Paula.
it may be hard to believe that this disorder is real, but it comes from severe childhood trauma. it’s literally a world created by a child’s brain in order to allow the child to survive the trauma they’re going through, so it varies from person to person and can be simple or fantastical, according to whatever that child needed when they were little. the alters/personalities would take over and live through the extreme trauma instead of the child, so every alter/personality deserves respect because their existence was/is necessary for the child’s survival
So my sexual abuse and mental and sexual torture wasn't BAD enough to give me the blessings of some other personality taking the memories, scars and medical issues for me ???????????
@@peterbeadman9010 Don't be ridiculous, that wasn't even insinuated in the original comment. She's saying that for some people, dissociation is a coping mechanism for abuse.
@@aimeedwyer8206 ridiculous????? I'll leave you to it doctor Aimee .
@@peterbeadman9010 I have not suggested I am an expert, I have said that you're being ridiculous. Which you are, and you would know that if you read through the whole thread again and actually thought about it.
@@aimeedwyer8206 ok hunny, whatever you say. Obviously you are the expert..read My comment and explain why I didn't get blessed by someone taking my trauma. Oh but there's no name for that so..... maybe I should start a channel on ....no let's not even feed your know it all monster XX
The bravery it takes to work through this is immense! Well done Paula and family!
Mad respect to Mariah she came in to protect Paula when she needed it
As an alter who doesn’t relate to the body’s appearance, I avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces at all costs. Not because our host is ugly, she’s very pretty, in my opinion. But it’s just... not my face. -Erika
I'm that way. Was abused by my mom at 12.Hate mirror's
We really relate to that...
@@beawinna9878 so sorry to hear that. Are you a boy or a girl ? 😳
@@ritadecassia279 I'm a woman now, but my big brother was abused far worse than I. He killed himself . Our mom has never taken responsibility for her actions. When I bought it up she didn't speak to me for 5 years.. I'm really not over it,it colored my life, guess I'm lucky to have survived and to be living a fairly decent life. P. S. I've never abused another - except myself. But I'm in a confused state about my self worth. It's hard, our lives were so convoluted it's difficult to talk about.
Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and died on a cross for our sins so we live again! God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and God will forgive you!🥰
I was just diagnosed with DID this year. Mine is not nearly as "concrete" (I can't see them), and I'm still learning the distinct personalities. This is an incredible resource. Thank you to Paula for sharing your story.
It will get more “concrete” as you learn more about each other. Discussing dissociation blog can help with internal communication ideas and other healing steps
And what personality would think to watch this then haha your comparing yourself to something you SAY you have. What do they call you Sarah 7 physcopaths 🤔
Total bs your talking
@@stuartrichardson8335 damn yeah you’re right you definitely do know more about my brain than I do after 35 years of living with it. Silly me! Ty for calling me out!!!!
Yo, some helpful things I found here that could help you: the fb group DID I just say we, plural hub on discord, and multiplicity on quora are some of the most helpful and non toxic communities I've seen for this so far and am part of myself.
I am a therapist who specializes in DID. Thank you, Dr. Ross, and a big thanks to you, Paula and the alters. I believe you.
Where do you practice
Why do you believe it? Because it's in the DSM? Do you specialize in DID or do you specialize in diagnosing it? I was diagnosed with it and I don't believe it at all.
@@maggie0285 interested in your take as someone was was diagnosed but doesn't believe it. I'm on the fence dont know if it's real or a an act to just change up
What about all the malpractice lawsuits Ross has been involved in?
My brother had did
The va. Hospital did nothing to help us
They've put up with him
I think this an amazing coping mechanism. She’s amazing and I’m glad she could share her story and experience with us.
I hurt for her and the little girl she once was and never got to fully be. it’s so terrible that because of some terrible person that did terrible things, a woman’s entire life is greatly and negatively impacted. it breaks my heart. I hope she finds a way to heal and happiness.
Watched this all the way through. I was suspicious at the beginning but am now a complete believer that she is not lying at all. I learned in my late teens that the human brain can do wacko things to perception during my first anxiety attack. I was not stressed in the least, and out of nowhere it occurred and I was sure I was dying and left work in an ambulance. Nothing physically wrong at all. Apparently just a misfire of some neurons. Had 2 more and have now happily been on paxil equivalent for 35 years with not one more episode. Back in the olden days they apparently called it a "case of the nerves".
Paula's condition seems pretty complex and it's heartwarming to see that there are doctors that are starting to learn about this and are trying to help her.
This sounds like my experience when I broke down!? Thankfully therapy and meds have helped tremendously!
Surely she is a very strong woman. This must be really tough for her. God bless you Paula.
"I don't want to be hurt no more"
God that broke me. One of our littles is also a trauma holder (specifically they hold the emotions from that time) and they've said stuff like what Mariah said. It's just so incredibly heartbreaking. For a member of your own system to be so incredibly young, and having to deal with these horrible emotions caused by a horrible event
-Bex
Paula y'all are validated and it doesn't matter even if drs don't know bc they aren't experienced enough. You're a survivor, baby and we support you!
When a child is exposed to repetitive trauma over an amount of time, their minds develop differently from a child raised without trauma.
A child raised without trauma will have incorporated all their feelings and emotions into one personality, usually by the age of six years old.
They understand the word sad and the emotions that it represents. You can see their personality traits developing and how they handle feelings and emotions.
Children that suffered prolonged trauma understand differently. When their minds could not take what was happening to them anymore, instead of developing a feeling or emotion about it, they developed another personality to handle those situations when those feeling or emotions were present.
So instead of developing anger, they developed another person that handles that emotion/feeling.
That's why I think they called it split personality disorder for so long. Because their mind did split into different people that represent certain feelings and emotions.
Instead of sadness they developed an entity, that can be any gender or age, and only that entity knows the depth of trauma that the system endured, from their childhood to their present time.
The The Front Person understands sadness probably the same as everyone else, but not the sadness caused by trauma. The Front Person may know that they suffered trauma, but they will not know the true extent of the trauma, although they may have a good idea about it.
We developed feelings and emotions are rolled it all into a nice little bundle named Marion.
Paula was rolled in a nice little bundle of separate personalities that share the same body, or system.
These personalities are as real as you are and they all believe they are real people because, well, THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE.
Does it mean if you tried hard enough you can split your own personality into a million pieces?
@@1mol831 no, it does not. It takes severe trauma for a very long time, from a very young age.
@@marionjohnston6924 I guess I'm never going to be able to split my own personality into millions of pieces then.
@@1mol831 are you just being sarcastic for fun?
@@marionjohnston6924 no I’m thinking of splitting myself into pieces then reforming cuz it might be fun
I'm happy that people like us (DID systems) are being able to speak up- to tell our stories from our own mouths, and to make documentaries and docu-shows about our life and how our disorder can eventually be BENEFICIAL if we work in therapy and try to work together as a team.
The end result isn't integration (merging all alters together), its just to live safely and happily. And if that means still living as a system, then so be it.
how do I find your videos?
This was excellent. Paula has helped so many people by telling her story. Thank you Paula! This has helped not only people with DID but also family and friends to understand more about what is going on. The doctor did a terrific job as well shedding more light. Paula is such a nice person. Wonderful that she wants to help others and is doing just that.
My Mama who is now decreased, suffered from both paranoid schizophrenia and D.I.D. She suffered severe emotional, mental and physical trauma during her childhood. I've seen how detrimental this can be and my heart goes out to this lady.
I'm so sorry for your loss 💔
I was diagnose and June 2017 with dissociative identity disorder. I have 11 others and myself a core part which makes 12 of us. I would never wish this diagnosis on anybody else. It’s very exhausting and sometimes can be overwhelming because society does not believe in this diagnosis.
Just to say, thanks for sharing and I hope you all find more peace together in time.
@@TS-yd6cn thank you so much for the encouraging words. It is hard of living with dissociative, specially with a horrible stigma that society gives us.
We believe
Thanks, for believing in us. I just wish the world had more of an open mind when they hear the word dissociative identity disorder.
Paula is an incredible woman. She’s been through so much. I came here to learn more about DID, I have two friends who have it and would like to educate myself as much as possible.
They don't have DID.
The chances that you have TWO friends with DID are remote..
@@stassib935False.
when she started crying after the scan thing, I almost had to exit out the video. That was really rough to watch. she is so strong I can't imagine suffering so much and not having anyone believe you
Much of what Paula says about the origins of her system are extremely similar to my own, down to the ages and roles. I have been aware of "parts of me" since i was 10, there were no voices only sensations of anxiety, warning, foreboding, heightened awareness in different parts of my body. I was diagnosed with 4 personality disorders, 2 anxiety disorders and bi-polar disorder and clinical depression at age 41, but medications never worked fully, Cognitive behavioral therapy helped for the more superficial trauma's but nothing touched the deep trauma's . Each disorder is representative of one or more alters, go figure. I will never "integrate", I have realized i am more functional now in relation to my mental health than i was before the Extreme emotional trauma at 63.
At 63 i had ( yet another ) major emotional trauma and the voices began, awareness of the parts of me that had been silent for so long emerged, the memories stored in the deepest recesses of my mind began to emerge. Dissociation's tripled and i lost almost 6 months of time to being just unaware. It has been 4 years of discovery and I have 30 identified personalities and fragments, the majority are under 16, the most vocal are 13-18 and don't readily interact because of trust issues.
I know of at least 4 other friends, with DID, who are diagnosed because they country they are in does not acknowledge it as a mental illness( they are possessed), or the country they are in is more likely to diagnose schizophrenia or severe borderline personality disorder. I strongly believe the percentage of people with Dissociative Identity Disorder is much higher and getting greater as early childhood abuse seems to also be on the rise.
Jesus can heal your mind, pray to him and ask him to save you from this.
I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder last year and it has completely changed how I look at my life. I started a you the channel to document things
What's your channel under Sweetie
brandies8up it’s obviously what she commented with lol
Good on you! I have it too. It changes your perspective on literally everything.
Sorry, I just noticed these I don't know why I didn't get the notifications until now ☹️ yes it's under "Princess Chelsanator" and I would love for you to check it out if you haven't already! I've been laying a little low because I've been working on some person issues but I'm editing a video on those issues today and tomorrow so I'll have it up soon 😘 thanks for all the support and good luck in these hard times love
This is very interesting, very understandable to a trauma survivor to cope and also seems terrifying all at the same time I hope all goes smoothly and mostly I hope she is safe with herself. 💜
Absolutely brilliant to give people an understanding of what created this and to realize that horrific sexual abuse when you were very young created this . Very brave of you and I thank you.
I just don’t understand the people that say she’s faking. Like who would want to go through so much pain?
I myself have thirteen. And to see someone who is just like me, I don’t know it just makes me happy. Her and I have a lot of similar experiences, mostly in my middle school and early night school years. We were mocked and mimicked. So they hid. I remembered one of them calling it a “social experiment”. I only just now, a few months ago, began to let them come out and hang out with a very small group of friends, my parents and my councilor. EDIT: It’s going well so far, besides the few mishaps where one of them is prone to violent outbursts.
It’s so crazy that the mind can do that
Nenethegreat W clearly you dont know what you are talking about.
It IS the mind that make these personalities, it’s a survival mode that some people develop when something bad happens to them.
Nikita 151 well you can disagree all you want, i know im right so dont care about your opinion.
@@savannahsimonsen6786 Why are you so rude? I meant no offense, I'm sure this kind of mind's development exists (creation of alters in one mind). Was just saying: In our case it's not the mind who invented alters. It's the brain that functions fractured. We are a multiple personality and it's not an opinion but a fact diagnosed by neurologists, not only psychiatrists. I
@Nenethegreat W in another comment of yours you insist "a person only has one personality".
Please question yourself:
- Do I know enough about brain development? When exactly does the baby develop personality and how do structures develop?
- What is Personality?
- Can someone develop into a particular, well-sketched Personality without sufficient autobiographical memory?
- And therefore: Can a split Personality feel as one, Be One?
I do believe there are some who are a fraud, and wanting to appear exotic/draw attention/&co. Or some have level 2 dissociations (="states") and mistake it with multiplicity, as dissociation often goes with autobiographical amnesia / issues in self-awareness.
But how can you claim know it didn't exist?
thats so cool we have the same necklace, I was given it when I was little, theres a poem on the back that says just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
You are an absolute inspiration. I’m sure that people are learning from, and appreciate you at those conferences. Keep doing what feels right for you. ❤ thank you for being willing to share your story.
OMG, this was so heartbreaking. This poor woman who suffered so much at the hands of her abuser that her mind created different personalities to protect her and itself. Absolutely amazing. Paula seems like such a nice person. She will probably live alone for the rest of her life. These personalities keep her company. They are part of her life. She has been validated which is what she always wanted. I think they should leave her personalities alone. Imagine how hard her life would be without them. That's all she knows. You'll be leaving her all alone.
Every one has their own difficulty, but one worse than someone else. Not being yourself is scary, paintful and lonely.
I can so relate with her story. Thank you Paula for helping others who experience this. ❤
Hi Paula..if you read this, just wanted to tell you that you seem like an amazing woman.
Paula, don’t ever be afraid, your never going to be alone as I believe your friends will always be watching over you. You got this girl...you will move mountains, just don’t sell yourself short.
Peace and love~
Mary
I've been reading the comments and see that there are a lot of loving and warm people out there. One of the most important things I learned during my therapy is to love all the parts. That's all they have ever wanted. Life is peaceful now. A young child will present occasionally when she senses that the people in the room are very kind and loving. Bravo to her and to her courage. You know satan tries to destroy us but God enables us to split apart for a time so he can bring us back together again. We have terrific attributes, God given, we have his attributes of creativity, lover of music, art, dance, math, sociology, anything, nature, animals. We are created in his image. Thank you for telling your story. God bless you.
A good book is called When Rabbit Howls. I recommend reading it. Its very detailed though about the trauma experienced but it's a true story of DID
Good call. I’ve read it several times. Extremely good book.
The book is a real life experience of the author Truddi Chase. Check her interview with Oprah ( it isn't that good on Oprah's part as she kept interrupting her) but the women was very strong. She passed away.
That story has stuck in my mind....read it years ago
It was heartbreaking and so very difficult to read.
The Minds of Billy Milligan is another good read on the subject
Jonathan really stands out to me. He's so... I don't know, like he really loves Paula but is too "tough" to say it
I felt for him. Being in a woman's body has really been something to struggle with. And I just wanted to hug him and tell him it's okay.
When she is talking about in the beginning how that the documentry would make a difference for someone . I am one of those people. recently diagnosed with D.I.D. it feels so good to find other people's stories.
That's great
I have just found this months later but I have DID and I honestly expected to find cruelty and skepticism in the comments and it feels so validating to see how many people have opened up to the truth about people like us and not just what hollywood has portrayed us as.
Yes! It made my heart happy to see that all the comments I have read so far were all positive. It shows that they are good people out there understanding of how every one can be so different. The world needs more people like the ones in the comments! So you have DID too! It would be awesome if you shared your story with the world! I don't have it or know any one who does, but I love expanding my mind and learning how to be accepting and more understanding of everyone. I wish there was a movie that accurately showed how life is viewed from a person with DID, like thru their eyes-I think it would be a very interesting and complex movie. I also find it interesting that an alter can be an object like a rock or a piece of paper- that would have to be wild! I am big into lucid dreaming, and I think lucid dreaming has simular quirks simular to DID (sort of) like one time in my lucid dream I turned into a cow! I remember being in a heard with other cows and we was running from something and it was crazy because it felt just as if I was a cow I could feel the weight difference, and running I could feel the joilts of my hoofs (lol!) Hitting the ground, I could even feel the muscle mass difference and when moving the muscles, bones and joints felt much tighter than that of a person-it was like there was less fluidity in movement. So by experiencing that I am able to believe and understand that an alter can be a non human being. It's crazy what all the mind can do! But I would love to know more about you!!
Ps I just went to your channel and seen you posted some did videos! Yay!!! I'll go check them out!!
@Miranda cutie cat Thank you. 💜
Good luck honey
My brother had did
Hes no longer with us
RIP
Ralph
@@homoerotic85 awww ty
I am so happy to see the comment section... I didn't see one negative comment from the ones I have read. There is hope in humanity! ❤❤❤ I couldn't imagine how exhausting it must be to have more than one person living in your body. I have OCD, ADHD, anxiety, depression etc. So I know what it's like to always have a voice in your head but shew it would be hard if it was more than one in there! I do think that it could be nice in a way that you always have someone there for you to feel less alone-I don't know if that's actually how that would feel though. I find DID so interesting. I'm so glad that she shared her story. I wish her the VERY best!!
watching this brought tears. She's a strong woman and a survivor.
"Can't we compromise"
Story of any relationship... except it's (number of alters) more often when you have DID.
You guys have such strength!
I hate being recorded. It's weird to see what I see in the recording and the voice isn't the voice I hear in my head. Thank you to those with the courage to share their lives. It helps so many people and the world is blessed to have you in it.
Thank you so much for helping to fight the stigma by doing this documentary in a respectful, well researched, and informative way
It just breaks my heart what people do to CHILDREN! Please pray for protection over them. God bless you ❤
Hi Paula, we worked together like 20 yrs. ago. I would never have guessed it but you may have told me..on nights. Stay strong girls and guys!
Has anyone read the book Sybil? She had Multiple Personality Disorder. That's what it was called decades ago. Amazing book. She suffered terrible abuse at the hands of her Mother, literally was tortured. It makes sense to create other personalities in your mind, in order to 'escape' the abuse. Can't physically leave when you're a young child, so escaping in the mind makes all the sense in the world to me.
No, Sybil was a lie. The psychiatrist suggested the personalities.
It was a good movie 2
We watched the movie in high school.
Sandra I thought you might be interested in the story about the woman in Australia Jeni Haynes who had 2,500 personalities? she had been terribly abused and tortured by her father at a very young age and recently took him to court and he got 45 years jail ! She created these personalities to survive absolutely heartbreaking what she went through 💔😢
Google her name and you can read about it 😊
@@janbasterfield8200 oh yes I saw that. That was amazing wasn't it, what she went through and then taking him to court. These two women are much alike in many ways. Thank you for reminding me.
Johnathan is cool. Love the free throws
I’m cheering for you Paulo... whatever happens to you or is happening to you has a reason. Just never give up and have faith that you will get over it eventually.
What the human mind does to protect it self. So enormous powerful! Wow. And such a burden for her. Lots of respect for being honest with it to Paule and the rest!
Years ago they had a movie based on a true story. Sally Fields played "Sibyl" ... I saw where a lot of people thought that it was all a hoax. I can verify that it wasn't a hoax because the real Sibyl was my ex husband's cousin.
Childhood trauma is devastating and manifests itself in many different ways. Sadly there is little help for people who were traumatized as a child, and even less understanding. Hopefully this will change.
I think most people agree that "Sybyl" had serious psychological issues, but the whole story is still problematic. Her doctor behaved in a completely unprofessional manner and there are a lot of red flags that come up because of it.
I was just thinking about "Sibyl" while watching this and then saw your comment. I was a psych student and our professor let us read the book as a project rather than watching the movie because it didnt give justice from what the book tells.
But it has been widely reported that she has subsequently stated she faked the symptoms. Or is it this more recent 'confession' that is fake?
At around 32:50 - when the psychiatrist showed Paula the monitor , after Jonathan went away , should have asked her what she saw and waited for her to answer- not ‘lead the witness’ so to speak by asking if she saw alternating images of herself and Jonathan. He does that a lot . He never waits for her to answer, he pretty much ‘gives’ her the answer or suggests the answer and she agrees. Not very objective if you ask me. Having written that- I do believe in DID. This just wasn’t very professional and objective.
MPD/DID survivor! I believe you and know all too well what your life is like. I hate that they call it a disorder because for me it's my ORDER! It saved my life and mind from horrific ritualistic child abuse! 40 years of therapy later with many disasters like bring told by a therapist I must intrograte my personalities! Today I think GOD for the powers of my mind that saved my sanity and life!
I do agree I will not call it a dis order I'll call it a gift of the Holly Spirit...protecting real self of being distroid
I want to give Paula a hug and tell her God loves her. ❤ She’s not alone. This happened to me too and so many people.
Paula you are so strong. Thank you for your help in the mental health community. I am proud of you for your hard work.
Miss V.s eyes! so alert and clear. wow...
Teacher eyes
You are absolutely not a fraud because the abuse was very real. This is really how you've learned to cope. My Mom was severely abused as a child and she has coping strategies that you couldn't develop outside of a traumatic scenario. 🙏🏻💟
I just want to hug this woman. To have been so broken and still be here in this ugly world helping other's with her story...so very strong.
What a terrifying experience must a child have to literally split to 15 pieces for life! I wish I could help this child in any way I could. Heartbreaking :(
Good for her speaking up. I have dissociated since about five due to sexual abuse by my adoptive father . I think I have developed DID possibly as triggers can cause hours of amnesia. Finally getting help at age 57. My father has never paid for what he did to me with jail time .
Thank you for being brave and courageous enough to share
Thank you for presenting this to society. It really helps to identify where the behaviour is coming from. The silver lining of such a horrible experience in such a young age is realising the capacity of what human brain might do and how it can comfort and fulfil itself which can become a huge pride that yes, you can take care, protect and be enough for yourself.
“The body keeps the score “ so true brain, mind, body trauma my therapist suggested this for me I have fibromyalgia caused by trauma , abuse, my heart goes out to her I knew when I was diagnosed and the way my body torchers me with pain it was from my childhood but didn’t know until therapy what I thought was actually true glad but angry at same time there was a reason, I’ve heard of this DID before and can understand the brain protecting her there are no words for a child to express when abused so proud of her ❤️
This is a great book. I've read it in parts, but not all the way through at once.
yes Same here.read the book as well
This was a year jerker! I believe her and I adore her for coming forward and allowing herself to help others! This has made a difference n I thank u and I think u are an amazing , beautiful women. You are going to help so many! Dont listen to any negative comments. You know your truth and everytime someone should judge remember the ones your helping! Lots of love
Paula seems like such a sweet lady and shes so strong i love her
My heart breaks for Paula and everyone who was abused and suffers the consequences their whole lives. The human mind is beauftiful and absolutely horrifying at the same time...