One thing I learned in my past relationship with a narcissist is that they often play the victim and never take responsibility for what happened, while they are more than happy to let you take all the guilt. And once they see it is working on you, they will take advantage of it. A lot.
"they often play the victim and never take responsibility for what happened, while they are more than happy to let you take all the guilt" Yes! And yet when you try to point this out... try to point out their wrongdoing, and try to express your hurt, they will flip it around and accuse YOU of 'playing the victim' and of not taking responsibility! They will accuse you of emotional manipulation and attempting to guilt trip them, for trying to get them to be honest about their role. They will paint you as the abuser and will twist the situation and your words around to convince you of this. Plus they will seem SO CERTAIN about it, SO FORCEFUL in their arguments that you will be taken aback by their confidence, and may fall for what they're saying...
my thoughts exactly..my ex was like that!i realised what was going on with him when i started reading psychological articles and watching these type of videos.highly manipulative individuals.
Being with someone like this took so much energy out of me and I became depressed for the longest. He made me feel like i was the crazy one and just overthought everything.
Oh I feel you so much... In the end my ex told me that I need to see a psychiatrist because I'm so crazy and am the root of all the problems. That was the moment when I finally saw the truth
Mexperience im so glad you realized what was happening! I’ve been away from him for two months and I still wonder if I’m the one who wasn’t putting in enough efforts or Interests. I know it’s not true but I still blame myself because of him. It’s get better and better each day though
Same here... they told me i was acting like a wierdo ...but i was just upset of the way they treated me like it ment nothing after all the broken promises and lies...
I'm so sorry to hear. Who is this you are talking about? A family member, friend, or lover? You aren't crazy, narcissists are really good at making others feel that way. ♥
I can't run away. It's my dad for me. He has so much control over me right now and I feel very stuck. I think it's triggered high-functioning depression in me and I hate him for that. I kept forgiving him and I kept giving him so many chances to be a better father, but he just won't budge. Logic doesn't work. He tries to give me gifts whenever I move custody for a while to lure me back in. My mom and him divorced for this very reason, and right after it happened (I was like ten), he kept telling me he was so sad it happened and he kept crying and it made me hate my mother. I can't forgive myself for being so awful to the one person that knew all along what was happening. I almost didn't believe her when she told me what was actually happening...thank God I could eventually see the signs for myself when I became my dad's new target.
Just one advice : The only way to stop the toxic relationship is to stop the communication. Imagine a rope that represents the relationship, he/she holds one end of the rope and you, the other end. If you release the rope he/she has no longer a hold on you, so stop communication and run far away ! These people are the devil incarnated ! (Sorry for my bad english, I'm french)
I know how to deal with these type of people: 1. Control your anger... If you become angry you lose... 2. Remember YOU are somebody too.. YOU are human too! YOU! 3. You should use text while talking to them (IF necessary to talk) since they cannot manipulate people that well in text. 4. Avoid them AS MUCH as you can...
Well if you get angry you provoke him back... So you two keep provoking each other, resulting in an argument... Just don't get angry and problem solved...
Yes i always have that problem i had a boyfriend who did both but you know being mentally abused affects you your whole life when bruises go away but the pain the comments and the names they call you stick with you forever and people who haven’t had that wont understand that you are strong for getting through that.
I'm really sorry to hear about that, but just remember: we accept the love we think we deserve. Watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower reminds me all the time.
So ... my mom is the narcissistic one. I don't know about my dad, I see him occasionally (it's been less since the pandemic happened) but I don't live with him, haven't lived with him since I was a very small child, etc. I don't think my dad is narcissistic, not even manipulative because he loves to take me on vacations and stuff when/if my mom lets him. He will also buy me things in stores like cute shirts /just random things I see that I like sometimes. So this is why I don't think anything is wrong with him but my mom is crazy. idk why my parents divorced but if I had to guess it's not what my mom told me,.it's probably because my dad was done dealing with her crap I get it, and her behavior is f****** infuriating and it's EVERY DAY and I know bc I have to put up with it I figured out her behavior was bs when I spilled water at other peoples houses and they never reacted the way my mom did when I spilled water
My mom convinced me to come home before the lockdown to prevent getting stuck with him for months. I put an end to it, packed my stuff and got home. Dear God, my Mom knew how to protect me when I didn't ... Glad that I have her in my life ❤️
In my case I've been with him the whole pandemic because my mother is always too busy and brags about her new house but never told me me come u can stay in one of the rooms .she know I would pay her rent too.all she does is make me feel worst sometimes she asks me so are u coming or not? I'm going only because at least she doesnt disrespect my private body but it will be temporary.
One of my worst abusive relationships was with a covert narcissist. He was exactly like this, and it sucks that I didn't get away until after the damage was done :( I'm permanently traumatized from the things he put me through. That relationship broke me, and it's only now (almost a year after it ended) that I'm feeling safe again.
Thank you for your videos. With an Overt Narcissist first he may make promises to change then when that does not work, aggression, and physical violence. He will try to get you back under his control by any means necessary. You are his property no matter how many times he has cheated and left you. I had to leave the state making it more difficult for him to have access to me. This narc traveled to where I was living 5 states away and tried to drag me back cave man style. I have read that the lesser narcissist has poor cognitive function and low impulse control. Some are even capable of rape when they suffer a narcissistic injury. While I believe all narcissist can lash out violently when enraged and suffering from a narcissistic injury it is even more so with the lesser. My experience with this narcissist was even if we separated and he had moved on with a new supply source he would still come around to make sure I was not seeing anyone. If I happened to start dating he became violent even when he was engaged with someone new. Most narcissist when they are love bombing a new supply source will not want the one they discarded in the picture at least in the beginning of his new relationship. If they are engaged with a new supply source and still Hoovering you for fuel they have a sadistic streak. This narcissist cheated throughout the entire marriage. He engaged in triangulation with his first wife. She was a constant in our marriage until her suicide. The Covert Narcissist may try to come back after they have been involved in a few relationships which did not work out. When they try to come back they are low on supply and suffering from depression because of a loss of narcissistic supply. They love to tell you about the relationships they have been in and now they are smearing the person they left you for. They may tell you the person they have been in a relationship with has been abusing them. The Covert may apologize for all his past transgressions and the way he discarded you. He will have an excuse as to why he was so abusive and cruel at the end. It can play with your mind wondering if he is truly sorry. He can even have tears. You have to remember the tears are for himself. He is down and out with no available supply source. You must remember how he was at the end when he discarded you and the mask came completely off. He will seem desperate to keep you around as the Hoover takes place. And he is desperate for narcissistic supply. This is a midrange narcissist I’m talking about here and although very capable of violence he needs to put on a good show to convince you he really is a good person. This narcissist really does believe he is a good person and needs others to see him as such. If you see through this narcissist and don’t buy his story he may leave you alone. He will slink away like the snake that he is in search of new supply sources. Narcissist don’t like to waste their energy and when he sees you are not buying into it he is forced to search out new supply sources. I say forced because it is life or death to him to keep the false construct in place. In order to keep the false self in place he needs narcissistic supply. He needs the admiration of others or he ceases to exist. When you no longer buy the lie he will move on. Covert Narcissist do not display the open grandiosity of the Overt. While the Overt seems full of confidence the Covert lacks self esteem. The Covert will use a lot of pity plays working on your sympathetic nature. He wants you to feel sorry for him. The Covert is a coward. In any case Overt or Covert they suffer a narcissistic injury when they are rejected by an ex. They think they own you for life. In both cases I left the state when my marriages ended:) Additionally there is no way you can be too sure that your spouse isn’t cheating behind your back. The only way you can be sure if your spouse is cheating on you or not is “TO FIND OUT“. Get to find out about a cheating spouse with evidence to prove it by spying their mobile and thereafter gaining access to all the things they might have been hiding away from you. If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
i’ve become aware of the amount of abusive friendships i’ve had in my life lately, and this video helped me really understanding. it really takes a toll on you. i’ve been a puppet for so so so long and i’m tired of it.
I have a friend who fits in most of these traits. They always call me when they have problems and wants to talk about their day/ doesn’t care about what i do. They have no sympathy.
Thank you so much for this video. I did some research in the past on covert narcissism. My mom is definitely one. Having to live with her and the rest of my messed up family wears me down a lot mentally and emotionally. I can’t wait to live in my own place by myself.
I’m so grateful for this video, as hopefully it helps someone who is being abused to realise it and get out of the situation. I was abused by a narcissist for a year and it was the worst experience - I wish I’d had internet back then to see this video! For anyone who is going through it now, Im sorry and please get out of the situation before it gets worse :)
We're glad this video helps! And sorry to hear about what you've been through. The internet is great. Wished I had used it more too during my younger years.
My heart goes out to all the Victims in this world It's uncalled for and breaks my heart to know so many are losing their lives over this. The Narcissist is uncalled for. *Minslegend* , don't stop doing you we here to support you 💯%..
Glad I could help. Me personally I'd call it a mixed bag subject. If it helps you to become a better person, embrace it, if it makes you into a worse person, push it away.
A lot of my famliy members and most of my past frenemies had cluster B personalities. I cut most of them out of my life in search of healthier relationships, I'm a recovering empath.
My dad in a nutshell basically - there is no such thing as communication because everything is about him, everything is my fault, and there's always the victim card being played 24/7. He's always going on about how he isn't appreciated by anyone or thanked for doing good things, but never apologises for things he does wrong. He's always right and you can't ever speak your opinion about anything to do with anything because it sparks a ridiculous debate that can last hours, so you just have to stay silent about anything, whether it's politics or something regarding the family, or even you and you want to scream. It's hard because it's just him, my little sister and I, and I get that of course it's hard to raise two children but at this stage we don't even really have a relationship. I try to distance myself as much as possible until I can figure out a way to leave and try to help my sister as much as possible so she knows she's loved - but yeah it's just hard because I'm in my final year of school now and I need some peace so I can do my best Anyway pardon my rant but I clicked so fast because I knew this would sound exactly like my dad, and I always thought he night be this, but this clarifies it a bit more, so thank you :)
Sorry to hear about that. Narcissistic parenting is awful. :( Do you think you'll be able to move out soon after you finish school? My mom was similar and I moved out just last year. It was a complete life changer. I hope you can get there soon. ♥
This is also my dad. Everything you've said here is what's going on for me. It's not shared between my siblings though...I am always the target, and he convinces everyone else that I am the outcast of the family. They are so blind, and I get so mad at them for being so blind, but I keep trying to remember that they are under his spell. I broke free only a couple years ago...I still suffer from low self-esteem issues and high-functioning depression. I also feel like I've been turned into a cynic that over-analyses everyone's inner motive, because I don't trust hardly anyone. Stay well.
This is soooo my father My sibilings , mother and i are trapped by him I literally cannot wait to escape from this I hate having to tip toe around glass in my own home I can't wait for my mother to leave him I hope everything works out for you in the end and that you and your sister are safe ❤
@@SarahJones-rj1xn I can't believe I never got notified for those other two replies from a year ago!!! Anyway, thank you for replying to my comment. When I was little, after my parents had divorced when I was 6, I lived with my mum, but she neglected me, there was a ridiculous substance abuse problem that was so bad to the point where we couldn't have food, she would disappear to the pub every night and bring home some new guy, it was awful. She didn't treat me right, and at the time, my dad was not at this stage with me by any means. I moved in with him and my step mum when I was 11, and things went horribly wrong in their relationship, there was arguing every day, and she'd leave saying it was final, only to come back like two weeks later. I always referred to her as the boomerang because she would always come back, no matter how far he threw her (like emotionally and all). He started treating me like crap too, but it only escalated when she DID actually leave him a number of years ago. I basically filled her role of being housemaid, and I had highschool to worry about, and I had to take all responsibility of looking after my little sister, which I didn't mind because I love her, but I had a lot on my plate, and it was still never enough, and I was treading on eggshells as you know. From when I was 8, and still even now, I've had PTSD, depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and trichotillomania, so things were extremely rough. I had cut my mum off since she had been manipulating me and using me to her advantage at my expense, and my whole dad's side of the family would blame me for everything SHE caused, but a few years later, I cautiously got back in contact, and she did a total 180 as a person, which was the last thing I ever expected, so seeing as she changed, as hopeless as things have been, there's that tiny hope. But anyway, in regards to leaving my dad, I knew, I KNEW I had to wait until school was over, and I knew it would be shit, and I knew it was be a huge traumatic ordeal. I graduated at the end of last year, and my dad blew up at me over my not so great but better than I thought results, and he got upset at me over the smallest things. Over December, we went on a visit to his side of the family, and my grandparents as usual would defend all his actions and enable him, and ask me to "do more for your dad, he's going through a lot", but cry if he got upset at them, but no of course I don't matter. When I called them out on it, they had the audacity to say, "well at least you're getting out now", and I said, "what about my sister?", And they'd say, "what are we supposed to do", and I said, "maybe be a parent". There attitude has only made things worse. There was other shit they said, and they've done this for years, going against me over things that weren't my fault, and giving me so much responsibility at such a young age. But yeah, while there my dad would talk all this shit about ME AND my mum (who he doesn't talk to) ON CHRISTMAS and when I got visibly upset, he lost it, and then my grandparents lost it at me, blaming me for ruining Christmas. It set off a PTSD episode for me because it reminded me of when I stayed there another year, and they lost it at me out of nowhere, their religious selves calling me the devil who was only born to break the family apart, and being hit. It was the tone my Granda has used, and his entire demeanor and actions which were so reminiscent of then that had set it off. By this point, I had decided I would go to uni where my mum lives, which is outside of Sydney (I live in Australia), because one, my marks weren't fantastic, and two, I NEEDED to get out because I couldn't cope anymore. In January, I stayed at my mum's place for a bit, and my dad made something as trivial as a MATTRESS a big deal, and by the end of the conversation, he told me I couldn't stay there anymore, and when I returned to Sydney to pack, I had to stay at my boyfriend's place, and go in between school hours to pack because I wasn't allowed to see my sister because apparently I'm toxic and trying to pit my sister against him, even though the entire time she's been alive, I've always told her that even though I have a bad relationship with him, it doesn't mean if she has to, and that I couldn't wish for more because I want her to be happy. I want her to see and decide for herself what he opinion is, not have me poison her against him, or him to me which he most certainly is doing. Anyway, during the move, police got involved because I didn't feel safe. Every day that I packed, I had panic attacks, really severe ones, and I was exhausted, and I had some of the most intense PTSD of my entire life. And it was hard, seeing my room, my only safe place become empty, and no longer be mine, but then, it was over, and I moved to my mum's at the end of February this year. The worst moment in that for me, was when my dad opened the door for me to get in the house to pack, and I thanked him for opening the door, and I that one day, had the courage to look him in the eye. I'll never forget that look, he looked like he regretted me ever being born. That day packing, was the worst day. I'm not in contact with my dad or that side of the family at all anymore, I've cut him off. My sister and I found a way to contact each other, but we're being careful - OH and I found out that my step mum is my step mum again, because apparently she actually moved back in a WEEK, A WEEK after I left, so I think she's pathetic going back to him considering everything that happened from the violence to the court cases, and the fact she turned totally nuts being with him. So, I am very concerned about my sister, but at least I can talk to her. Since moving out, rather than anxiety, even though it's still a massive issue to overcome, but rather than it being there every second of every day because there was always a sense of immediate danger, now I don't have that. But my main issue now is definitely dealing with the PTSD and shitty memories, and breaking out of unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's hard to do uni work, and try to live normally, especially since the virus kicked in just as I moved and uni began so I didn't even get to make a social life of any kind - so in a lot of ways, my life is still back there which has made it hard to move on. And I still overthink everything, and I can hardly look after myself, so I've got a lot of UNlesrning to do. But it's a work in progress and I can definitely say I'm a lot happier now than I was before. I never thought it would ever end, and all that got me through each day was the smallest of things like a flower growing, or doing something with my sister, just anything, even totally insignificant things. And, people hate to hear this, but I cannot tell you how true it is. There is good to be found in every single experience, every single one, one way or another. Maybe you can't see it now, but all kinds of things cause all kinds of other things. But yeah, all you can do, is learn from your experiences, and other people's mistakes too, and take them with you when you leave. And someday, the memories won't hurt as much, and maybe you'll see the positives in them. Things to do with my dad's situation is still raw, so I've got plenty of time to process it and come to those conclusions later, but from the shitty times with my mum in he past, while I'd never go through them again, I can say I'm grateful for a lot of the things I learned that helped me become the person I am now, even if I feel shit about myself sometimes. I promise you, that this will end, but you will have to wait it out, and it feels fucking unbearable, but I PROMISE, you will get out someday. And the fight won't be over as soon as you move on, because you have to learn how to live a normal life and let go of the past and live in the present, but it is possible. Even yesterday, I had horrible PTSD, and haven't been doing so hot, and even reciting events to a psychologist I've had a few good cries. But I cannot say it enough, things will change, because that's how life works Sorry for my very long comment, but I guess I'm saying I went through a lot, and a lot of times I wanted to commit suicide too, but I made it, and I'm still fighting to actually have full control over myself and my emotions and my happiness, at at least I CAN work on that stuff now and finally get better. I know it's hard to see, but I hope considering everything I've gone through, it gives you some kind of hope This may not be your thing, but speaking of little things, which I think are the most important things in life to be aware of, for years and years, I've always held this song deep within my heart. I know it's from anime, but the artist herself has a unique perspective on different aspects of life, and that kind of thing is what got me through, so I've listened to more than just this song. You probably don't speak Japanese, but if you look up the lyrics and listen, maybe it'll strike a chord with you. I've cried a few times listening to it, but I guess the words mean more since I understand the original ones too, but it's still worth a listen. It's Ritsuko Okazaki's "For Fruits Basket"
@@Psych2go I never got notified for this comment, but after graduating late last year, just this year in February, I got out and moved in with my mum! I'm still dealing with the effects of everything, namely PTSD, and trying to unlearn unhealthy coping mechanisms, and get to living a healthy life, but I can 100% say I'm not living in fear each and every day, and once this virus is over, I know I'll be able to really make a life here and move on from the past :)
They addressed so many issues lots of people had with the narcissists and that makes me extremely happy to know that he is really listening to their community like they did so many years ago. Thanks *Leapnotch*
Idk, as someone with a very busy schedule sometimes cancelling is the only thing that I can do. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care for them, it’s just that that stuff needs to come first because if not there will be consequences. In most cases plans can be rescheduled but often stuff that comes up can’t.
Wings Of Hope yes, but ultimately you should prioritise yourself and your own needs over hanging out with someone else. Likewise, they shouldn’t be completely dependent on you and get angry when you can’t always be there. They should look after themselves. I feel like the only people who are bothered by things like that only have you as a friend and put too many eggs in one basket.
That one sign doesn’t mean you are a covert narcissist, you would be if you do that and exhibit traits from all the other signs too. Otherwise you’re just a human with responsibilities to attend to.
Say what u want about *Leapnotch,* but this man is a legend, and something about his personality just brings a smile to my face!!!!! he is so charismatic & extremely talented. he's given us hits for over the last 13 years... a legend. Xoxo
*Honestly, just owning it and not trying to hide it is partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of the jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you leapnotch*
Watch out for friendships with covert narcissists too! They can be just as damaging as relationships! After dealing with an overt narcissist in a relationship for years, I thought I had my protective-skills down, but I was not ready for a covert narcissist who totally got the best of me! Three years later, and I still haven't physically recovered from the damage that was done and there is NO accountability.
I'm so sorry to hear. ♥ You are loved by us and we will think good thoughts for you. Healing can be tough, depending on the trauma. Do you go to a therapist?
@@Psych2go Thank you so much, that's very kind of you! I would like to see a therapist and discuss these things eventually, but recovering from the physical health issues it caused is taking all my money. Finally JUST got the medical equipment I need to get well though, so definitely moving forward. I actually am very blessed at the resilience my loving & attentive family gave me as a child though, that's helped me develop effective ways at healing trauma on my own, but it would definitely be helpful to process it all with the attention of another conscious soul, for sure. I can feel I need that. Mostly what I experience sometimes now is sheer astonishment when I think of it, but I'm sure there's probably some other underlying feelings still left, as well. Thank you so much again. You all are great.
@@izzylandyt The problem is the covert kind is like a snake in the grass. I had zero clue that I needed to break away from my ex-best-friend until she betrayed me to the point of severe physical harm I've still yet to recover from. I would have preferred to have every bone in my body broken and be beaten to a pulp than what I am still experiencing from her betrayal. You can break away from any narcissistic relationship, and you should. The key is in being able to recognize that's what it is in the first place. People describe covert narcs all the time who aren't anywhere near as covert as my ex-best-friend. She never spoke down to me once. She was never unkind. She was just fake as hell. I never even concluded that she was a narc until I wrote to her about what she did to my daughter and I and she had ZERO remorse or care for the harm she caused at all, after pretending to care about us for so many years. What she did was highly illegal and if I had the money for an attorney I could have sued her for hundreds of thousands of dollars or more from all the took away from me. Breaking away is not the problem for me, all the years of my life that have been stolen from me and that I'm still physically suffering form now is the problem. I'm still medically homebound from what she did.
100% yes!!! I dealt with a narcissistic friend and they made my life soo stressful. But when I finally put my foot down and took up for myself.. He was shocked.
My "friend" mustreats me She tells me i need to improve myself,she talks about myself,she kicks me. And tells me im stupid. I want to escape,but i cant. We share the sane friend group,but every time i text her,she always ghosts me. It makes me sad But i dont wanna lose her. She dosnt care about me,only herself. She also puts herself down,she plays the victim card. I NEED to escape,but i cant.
DJ pandaz___ rumors happen. And if they’re untrue then the people who know u won’t believe them. If it hurt her feelings and she does something like that she just wants u to get back in the loop hole. I would risk it just Bc you should love yourself above any friend. You should have the right to be happy with who u are. Don’t let shity people like her fool u and play a game. Bc at the end of the day it’s your feelings. Your heart. Treat yourself with the same respect, emotion and attitude you want to be treated with. I can tell you’re strong Bc you’re seeking help. That takes guts. U got this ! I believe that you can do things for the better for yourself. Good luck! And I hope this helps. Know people who care and actually love you will know whatever negative thing your friend says is false. You got this. Stay strong 💪♥️
So... Uh... I myself am a narcissist, I absolutely do glorify myself (despite my low self esteem) and those I am friends with, and I tend to do some of the things they listed out in this video. But, the thing is, I actually don't want this video to fool you into thinking that we're all heartless. For example, I feel really really guilty about ignoring people. Constantly, in fact, and since I'm poor, and a tad socially awkward, keeping up with me in any way but a Discord group or something is tough for me. Or, I actually am pretty empathetic and sympathetic, a lot of the time, and I often do listen to the woes of people... but sometimes I definitely don't like having people come to me. Sometimes I'm not good at it. Sometimes I am busy. Sometimes I've heard the same woes too many times from the same person. I can be uncaring, and it isn't a great feeling, but it's true that it happens. I don't really need to be centre of the attention in crowds, but I hate being a third wheel. I do indeed feel misunderstood, and I don't find that to be misplaced. I'm bad at reaching out to people sometimes, but I do definitely try to reach out to people a little, especially if I am already a close friend with them. ... This is gonna sound narcissistic in of itself, but give narcissists a chance, and try and work around them a little. I dunno if it's just me, but chances are a lot of them aren't trying to be manipulative people, and a lot of them aren't bad people, or even too egotistical. We just have just have certain mindsets or quirks. Talk to them, maybe, if you do feel manipulated or something. If they aren't bad people, they'll probably be open to hearing about your issues, and might at least try to change.
Mine poisoned my cats, triangulated me with my own family, told my kids lies about me, sexually assaulted and then raped me in my bed, hid money from me the entire 17 years, sold my assets so he could control me, admittedly sabotaged my dream career after I worked tirelessly on it for years, put me down at every turn, cheated on me the entire marriage, and lied, lied and lied again. Sorry. Maybe they aren’t all bad. Or maybe you’re not really a narcissist. Honestly I don’t think it can be properly diagnosed until after 25. Young people have narc traits that are normal developmental stages. Like a two-year-old or teenager. Any diagnosis before mid 20s is bullshit.
@@Ty-mu7gl I can't change who I am or how I feel.... At the very least, even if you can curb stuff out and all, some habits die hard. Not to mention I like being a narcissist in some ways, or I don't view every narcissistic trait or viewpoint as a bad thing. Not always, at least.
+OnimaxBlade Not tryina be rude, but don't complain about something you're not willing to change. Saying you can't change something you know is bad is being too lazy or too unmotivated to make yourself better. Think about it
@@Ty-mu7gl I have actively changed and I do still try to change myself sometimes. Like I said, every type of person has some issues, like how a quiet person can struggle with speaking up. I know what I struggle with, and laziness and lack of motivation aren't necessarily the prime things to blame, though they can factor in. Not to mention that how I am isn't all bad, it really isn't. Trust me, I am insecure, and have sometimes asked explicitly what people like about me. My closest friends understand and like my narcissistic side, and some of my good traits come from there, like being pretty loyal, for example. I'm not going to make a case that there aren't egotistical, really nasty people, a lot of them narcissistic, my older brother is like that, he was and is an abusive person. And to that other comment, god, that's called a monster, not a person, jesus... But a narcissistic person is, or at least can be, a very regular, kind, great person. I've met other narcissistic people too who are kind people, two have been very good friends. Making people out to be villainous, or problematic, isn't a very condusive or kind thing. But of course im gonna reiterate that watching out for anyone who seems like a bad person though is smart, and Im not gonna claim some narcissists wouldn't do some of the things said in this vid with mal-intent. Because Ive seen that too.
Every single point to the extreme!! But also an alcoholic...good therapists are hard to find and once found, they aren't accepting patients or have a wait list.
Used to have friendship like this, where everything revolved around them. Then when I needed help they always seemed uninterested and bothered. I still love them though and it was so hard, but I had to do what was best.
My wife has spent years convincing me I have Borderline Personality Disorder, only to find out, in therapy, and after actually sitting down with her children, that she is a MAJOR Vulnerable Narcissist, who has played this exact same game with all the past partners in her life. So now, while I am currently having to tell her, "I'm in therapy for BPD." In actuality, I'm in therapy learning how to keep my sanity while living with a Vulnerable Narcissist and preparing to leave if she continues and doesn't get some help.
My ex boyfriend was a covert narcissist, and took me nearly two whole years to spot it. I finally realised what was happening and I broke up this week. Thank you for the video! It was incredibly accurate.
Thank you soooo much! It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. But I was stuck on this cycle for almost 4 whole years (although we dated for 2), so it was really time to end. You comment made my day ❤
My best friend just got out of a long-term relationship with someone who has displayed every single one of these traits over their entire relationship. Cutting her out of his life was one of the best decisions he made and I'm so glad to see him find better people to be around!
please dont self diagnose or panic because of a generalized TH-cam video, also even if you where ..that doesnt make you a horrible monster of a person like a lot of these types of things on the internet elude to or flat out portray, it just means you have personal trauma and things that need healing / how you were raised even and abuse that comes with it and it'd be good to at least find a counselor online like on that one website I forgot the name, and have a chat. people are "toxic" because they themselves are dealing with problems and you are not your illness, we need to stop labeling people as the illness and make sure it's clear that it's an illness not a type of person and you can and will get better if you have it. 💖
I believe it would be better to get a specialized diagnosis, but even if you self diagnose try giving a reason to your behaviour rather then giving it a name and feel bad about who you are. I am a so-called "really unstable and disturbed person" and I don't really like being considered like that, but as long as you don't feel bad with yourself and don't cause too much trouble I think it's fine to just be who you are.
Yeah. While some of us might have narcissistic tendencies, we might not be full blown narcissistic. It is good to be mindful and reflect about whether we are being too selfish. Narcissism itself is like a spectrum. However, people with full blown narcissism are usually unaware of their own behaviour.
Yes, of course. This is why diagnosis is so important, so we can understand ourselves better. ♥ It's only when we are ready to acknowledge our faults, habits, etc that we can become better people. :)
Yes. I was involved with a covert narcissist for a number of years. The experience was damaging, draining, and emotionally abusive. Covert narcissism isn’t discussed enough; I didn’t know what I was dealing with. And while there were numerous red flags, and I often felt badly with them, I had convinced myself they needed me, and it was my job to save them from their pain... I was terribly wrong. I wish I’d walked away much, much sooner. 😕
I think it's good that you got out of your toxic relationship. It must of been very difficult for you to deal with, however I'm sure you've come out stronger from that situation. Wishing you happiness from now on.
So glad you're in a better place now, you deserve to be loved by someone who can treat you well. ♥ Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. What's important is that you recognized the dangers and got out of them. :)
i just cut off a toxic friend, i knew she was toxic but was too scared to be alone. but now i've realised my worth, it's better to be alone than with people who make you feel alone
I ran away from my house when I was 14 because of my narcissistic mother's constant physical and mental abuse. Survived in the streets for 3 years, came back to complete my studies. She didn't felt guilty at all on what she had done. Years past, am 40 now but my past stills haunts me.
I really like the tips and suggestions made in this video, and the warning signs to look for in people you may know or be close to. It's very helpful as well, to be able to spot these signs in yourself so you can better yourself. Good content!
Wow I honestly immediately started crying at *minslegend* part of honesty. Imagine sacrificing that much for your own firm's success, and being so thrilled to see them all grow. I come from a small family and can imagine recommending all of them to you but an absolute inspiration for the way to surround yourself with love.
Something that I think should be emphasized, from personal experience, is that sometimes they aren’t obviously dismissive. But say you’re discussing your bad day. They can initially be receptive and appear to care, but they will change the subject to themselves at their first chance to respond. The whole conversation will shift and accelerate in the opposite direction without a second thought. It’s not directly insulting or dismissing your emotions; it’s indirect and confusing, but sends the same message.
my mother would beat me savagely such as hair pulling, slapping, kicking & scratching when i failed in school or made mistakes in keeping an orderly room, school bag or breaking household ornaments by accident. she also chased me around the house with a knife to scare me when i could not cope with school work. she also would pretend to act insane by suddenly keeping silent and laughing at herself. she did this for 3 yrs while i was in the 2nd to 3rd grade.
I realized that a friend who I actually thought was loving and empathetic is really a narcissist. 😞 I don't hear from her for weeks, and when I do, she "dumps" on me without ever asking how I am or what's new in my life. I learned that unless *I* made the effort, there was rarely any communication on her part. It hurts, but it is what it is. You can't really maintain a long distance friendship and have it be mainly one-sided, so I don't bother trying, anymore.
I had a narcissist friend. At first he was really charming and charismatic but as the friendship goes on he was treating me more worse. When I ended the friendship, he was being really petty and would talk behind my back. It's been months now, and still he would say stuff just to get a reaction out of me. Really such a narcissist. He likes the reaction of belittling someone just to bring himself up.
I have a parent like this who has said terrible things to me when I’ve tried to confront her about her behaviors. I’ve run out of options but to cut ties with her completely. She has minimized the suffering she inflicted on me and played the victim card instead.
Can you make a video on how to “break up” with a narcissist abusing friend? I’ve tried for the past year but I just feel so bad bc she always says “you r my only friend” or “I get it, your just another person who doesn’t care about me” 😔😞
Don't feel bad about leaving them. Don't listen to what they say, they'll only exploit you further if you're sympathetic towards them and stay. Don't feel bad or ever regret it, I promise you, once you do it you'll know how it was the best choice you ever made. It's gonna be alright without them.
I will discuss about this with the team. Yes, unfortunately, this is one of the tactics narcissistic people use to get someone to stay as their Narcissistic supply. They crave the attention in a very unhealthy way.
I love you guys so much. I've been watching your videos on Depression and your one on Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder and it's really helping me understand who I am. Thank you so much.
annebutnotreally yeah It’s hard witch is why we tend to go frOm hating him And wishing he wasn’t your father back to loving him and taking back everything u said it’s a cycle
My friend Jack seems like this, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to leave because he’ll talk bad about me and stretch truths to make me seem like the bad person.
Thank you so much for all that you've done for I and my family during the difficult time! *minslegend* you eased all my pain and provided a beautiful celebration... thank you so much for the evidence you helped me received against my Narcissist husband, Your kindness and professionalism helped us through and is much appreciated
I cut ties again with the same narcissist that was in my life last month. My old friends won't speak to me because she said I said this or that ya know. I lost friends the first time and I got lonely and went back to a year or two after that I went back to college and started my level 7 degree in childcare I made new friends but I promise myself not to introduce them to her. I always thought I don't want history to repeat itself and to be blamed for something I didn't do. I confronted her about two friendships she destroyed she said she met them once and didn't do anything which wasn't true she went to a going away party for one of them, shopping days with them etc.
A guy I used to hang with always used the excuse "I have bills to pay and no time to hang out." Yeah, you work 40 hours a week... Everyone mostly does. Quit lying to me.
I've been the victim of a narcissistic abuser for more than 2 years...the person had all the traits described in the video. What I've learned from the experience: never try to change or give the person the chance to change because it will never happen. Just leave and don't look back if you want to mentain your self esteem and sanity. Don't put your life on hold and give up your passions and future plans while waiting for the narcissist to change. Accept that they won't and move on.
I love your channel! Psychology always interested me, and it really helps! I'm going to be taking a Psychology Class next year, and your channel is really helping me learn a lot! And, it brings more knowledge to many people!~
My mother can be very kind and gentle, but when she gets upset you don't see that part of her. I always assumed that she couldn't lack empathy because of this. Never thought about my emotions being completely minimized by her as a lack of empathy. Makes sense now.
amazing animation and amazing topic as always! One of the best channels on TH-cam. You help me consider if I do something wrong in my relationship and help me fix it !
i was being abused by a narcissist friend . he had a girlfriend but still would flirt with me and showed he cared , but i never gave in because i never wanted to date anyone who is already committed. But then his gas lightening came in strong , later i started developing feelings for him , he knew i am an empath and he would treat me badly when he knew I liked him . it was heart wrenching, he knew i loved him but to make me jealous , he would talk to his gf and then ask me out . i was always there for him but he only appreciated me when i was alone with him and becomes rude when we were in social circle. It was a whole hell situation .finally i decided to cut him off from my life , Later he asked people about me where she is , but now i am living my life happily . Narcissistic abusive relationship fyi( his gf was no good she was a manipulative person who broke his earlier relation and stared dating him even when he was previously committed ,this i got to know later ) i am so happy i am out of reach of those toxic people )
I once needed some advice that my stepmother would have been perfect to give, but she is busy so I waited until she was taking a break from work and just idly watching TV and browsing the internet to approach her. She blew me off quickly because she was "busy vegging out". Shes the first to give criticism even when it's about things that are recreational, but try and offer criticism of any kind to her and she becomes immediately defensive and starts projecting. She had surgery a while back, and the day after she came home I was at my dad's house for something, and the first question out of my mouth to my dad was "hows K?" A few days later I was there again and she was getting on to me about something and accused me of not asking after her health. I rebutted with "if you bothered to ask your husband about that you'd already know that asking how you were was the first thing out of my mouth!" She didn't like that.
Sorry to hear about that, have you tried talking about this with your dad? How old are you and how long until you can move out? I realize that when people are difficult to live with, space does wonders. I wish you the best of luck. ♥
@@Psych2go thanks for the support. I'm in my 30s and no longer live with them though my father does still help support me financially. Emotional support doesn't seem like something he is capable of. My father wont hear criticism of his wife...let alone her hearing it herself. He has been her #1 punching bag for most of my life, though she is pretty good at hiding it from others. He's been through a lot but refuses to acknowledge that a mental health professional might be beneficial to him. They're a big mess of ego and narcissism and there is no reaching them.
This is straight up my sister, without a doubt. Conversations were always about who offended her that day/week, she held onto grudges long enough for them to have grandchildren, she threw tantrums when my mother didn't give her what she wanted (which was usually great amounts of money, meanwhile my mother had no retirement funds, little to no savings, and my sister knew it), and... man I could go on for an hour.
I'm dating one now. I moved in with her on the promise that she would change and start being more selfless. The moment I moved in, and had nowhere else to go, shes been treating me like shit and always threatens to kick me out if I dont act according to how she wants me to act.
Jennifer Kinipela i know what your going through its tuff you feel like your walking on egg shells with this person making sure not to piss them off because they will make you feel little and worthless with any options you have i was in your shoes but he would try to kick me and our son out if i didnt do what he said but yet he could do whatever he wanted and make me feel how ever he wanted.
Do you have a friend or parent you can move back in with until you can find a new roommate? I think it's important to know that you always have an option. Narcissists are good at making you feel helpless, so don't give her that power.
@@Psych2go I'm in a similar situation as this woman. But I get so angry I become violent, it then makes me wonder whether there is something wrong with me or is it a result of my partner's narcissism? I feel trapped
Psych2Go I feel like I'm really empathetic so I didn't realize something was wrong until recently. The person I'm dealing with is my classmate and she's really smart and everyone likes her because of her way of talking and personality. We're in high school right now but in middle school she was wasn't popular and was bullied about how she dressed and all that. These days she's the center of attention and she says what she thinks even if it's hurtful. I feel like once in for all she's at the top where she always wanted to be but couldn't so other people's wellbeing isn't any of her concern. She picks on me for the smallest reasons, excepts for me to agree with her always, talks behind others back so because of that I feel really sorry for her because it seems like she doesn't know what she's doing to people. Because of her past I don't want to confront her and let people know what kind of person she really is because it seems like she feels great but at the same time I've heard how she speaks about her "friends" behind their backs and that's not acceptable either. I actually realized what person she really was because of these videos because before I just thought I was delusional when really I was manipulated because of my empathetic self.
The Timing on those vids is scary. JUST got done with someone who did the exact things described in the Video. Might have helped a little earlier, but good video
I was there for my ex when he needed me. Himself even said that i saved his life. But he blocked me when i need him all the time and tell me i am a rock on his shoulder.
I've been in this kind of toxic relation for nearly a year. It really sucks all your energies. Everything you do will never be enough for a narcissist. Even if you give all yourself, he/she will tell you you didn't do that much in the end. The worst thing happened when I told him he should get some psychological help, because just my love could not work. The answer was "everyone loves me for who I am, and it is just you to don't love me suggesting me this" ...it was just a terrible dark life experience.
I've got some of this traits and so does my father, although im a bit confused about this. I have met a few people who most likely are covert narcs who have been very abusive trying to get under my skin. I'd say parental abuse/addiction and bullying by close ones definately might have played its part. Although pushing people away also might be related to introversion and attachment problems.
They make the best targets for MLM and Media, you can cut off their heads , pour this in their brain directly and I still can't promise they will ever get it . They just love the abuse . The best thing to do is know that you have tried but don't invest too much energy no matter who it is people only changes when they are ready . Thank you for the video . I have a great deal of experience with these types , I usually just don't tell them . They do get it eventually though . Just send them great blessings .
When this video gets published the day after I left a two year toxic relationship with a guy who made me feel like shit and I know now he was a covert narcissist. I never knew this was a thing. Wild
Sorry to hear you're going through this, I can run this by the team. In the meantime, we have a video on handling breakups that you can still obtain advice from: th-cam.com/video/Zpd8UzVEAC8/w-d-xo.html
Another thing is when you're upset, and talking about how your day was bad or things like that, they will try to 1 up you with their "bad day". Making it about themselves, and dismissing or belittling your emotions.
When my biological dad told me in his confused and defeated tone that he didn't even think I was his child because my mother was "on the streets", I knew right then that my mother was absolutely right about him. And that even though I didn't think my stepdad was any better, in that moment, I felt like anybody would be better than the trash I was related to. He told 8 or 9 year-old me that he wasn't sure I was his kid to make me hate my mother who was never "on the streets" and my stepfather, who truly is and was a douche in hindsight, just so I would decide to live with him and stop child-support payments. After that night at his house, I never exercised visitation again. At first, he made me feel bad about not going, but the longer I stayed away, the easier it became to not care. I didn't speak to him or see him for about 3 years. I saw him again in middle school, and I didn't care that he showed up with birthday gifts. I appreciated the gesture, but wasn't guilt-tripped into rekindling our relationship. I don't have the ability to escape my toxic household right now and I didn't back then either, but I certainly had the ability to pull away from a toxic relationship. One toxic parent is bad enough, but three all at once? Jesus help me...
The cartoons used even though they're a simple drawing really hits home and makes me kinda emotional. All of my life I've been surrounded by narcs and toxic ppl. I did not know this was not normal. I knew it was wrong but I actually thought this was how everyone was. Even into my adult life my friends were manipulative and didn't last. Same with intimate relationships. I wish I knew about this stuff when I was younger.
i had a friend that acted exactly what you listed here and i was trying and i was finding out the name of the personality traits she has. i recently broke off our friendship few months ago because of how she "hasn't had time to listen to my problems" when i, in the other hand could. she gave me sort of an apology that consisted of excuses that she was 'too busy'. she pulled this a couple of times since the beggining of our friendship and i thought she actually WAS busy,, until she did it almost all the time :/ anyways, cool video!
Hey Psych2Goers! What are you looking forward to in November? ❤
Psych2Go Hiii! I’m early!!🔔❤️
Psych2Go my birthday 😂!
TUUUURKEY
I'm looking forward to spent time with my family
47 views but 97 likes.
Hmmmmmm.
One thing I learned in my past relationship with a narcissist is that they often play the victim and never take responsibility for what happened, while they are more than happy to let you take all the guilt. And once they see it is working on you, they will take advantage of it. A lot.
Yes, narcissists are very good at playing the victim card! I'm glad you were able to leave your relationship. You deserve to be loved. ♥
"they often play the victim and never take responsibility for what happened, while they are more than happy to let you take all the guilt"
Yes! And yet when you try to point this out... try to point out their wrongdoing, and try to express your hurt, they will flip it around and accuse YOU of 'playing the victim' and of not taking responsibility! They will accuse you of emotional manipulation and attempting to guilt trip them, for trying to get them to be honest about their role. They will paint you as the abuser and will twist the situation and your words around to convince you of this. Plus they will seem SO CERTAIN about it, SO FORCEFUL in their arguments that you will be taken aback by their confidence, and may fall for what they're saying...
I hate the fact that I didnt notice that my X gf was a narcissist. Its still hard for me to believe but it sucks because its the truth
my thoughts exactly..my ex was like that!i realised what was going on with him when i started reading psychological articles and watching these type of videos.highly manipulative individuals.
My ex too. 13 years of it.
Being with someone like this took so much energy out of me and I became depressed for the longest. He made me feel like i was the crazy one and just overthought everything.
Oh I feel you so much... In the end my ex told me that I need to see a psychiatrist because I'm so crazy and am the root of all the problems. That was the moment when I finally saw the truth
Mexperience im so glad you realized what was happening! I’ve been away from him for two months and I still wonder if I’m the one who wasn’t putting in enough efforts or Interests. I know it’s not true but I still blame myself because of him. It’s get better and better each day though
Same here... they told me i was acting like a wierdo ...but i was just upset of the way they treated me like it ment nothing after all the broken promises and lies...
I'm so sorry to hear. Who is this you are talking about? A family member, friend, or lover? You aren't crazy, narcissists are really good at making others feel that way. ♥
I can't run away. It's my dad for me. He has so much control over me right now and I feel very stuck. I think it's triggered high-functioning depression in me and I hate him for that. I kept forgiving him and I kept giving him so many chances to be a better father, but he just won't budge. Logic doesn't work. He tries to give me gifts whenever I move custody for a while to lure me back in. My mom and him divorced for this very reason, and right after it happened (I was like ten), he kept telling me he was so sad it happened and he kept crying and it made me hate my mother. I can't forgive myself for being so awful to the one person that knew all along what was happening. I almost didn't believe her when she told me what was actually happening...thank God I could eventually see the signs for myself when I became my dad's new target.
Just one advice : The only way to stop the toxic relationship is to stop the communication. Imagine a rope that represents the relationship, he/she holds one end of the rope and you, the other end. If you release the rope he/she has no longer a hold on you, so stop communication and run far away ! These people are the devil incarnated !
(Sorry for my bad english, I'm french)
I totally agree, this is the only solution (I'm french too ! 🤗)
Your English is really good, you're a modest person.
Good analogy, thanks
Great advice! Also, don't worry about your English. You speak better than some English people I see on the internet.
Strange Fruit Exactly, they are terrorists !
I know how to deal with these type of people:
1. Control your anger... If you become angry you lose...
2. Remember YOU are somebody too.. YOU are human too! YOU!
3. You should use text while talking to them (IF necessary to talk) since they cannot manipulate people that well in text.
4. Avoid them AS MUCH as you can...
good tips! ✔
I think my partner might be one but I get so angry I'm always the one in the wrong. Is that something common?
yeah narcissists do try to make you feel that you are the wrong one but you should stop getting angry too...
@@rajatava3500 You're right but it's so hard to stop when someone is constantly provoking you
Well if you get angry you provoke him back... So you two keep provoking each other, resulting in an argument... Just don't get angry and problem solved...
I've recently cut a "friend" out of my life who can be described like this.
@Papa Smurf Thank you.
Wow u did correct things u don't need the person who don't care for u like what u do for them even if Ur alone Ur better off without them 😊
@@celastinads4797 Ah, thank you!
Great job. Sometimes setting boundaries is the first step to healing
@@Psych2go That's true! I think I'm getting better too.
It's Funny how whenever I mention my ex was abusive everybody automatically think it was physical he abused me mentally
I can relate to that :(
Yes i always have that problem i had a boyfriend who did both but you know being mentally abused affects you your whole life when bruises go away but the pain the comments and the names they call you stick with you forever and people who haven’t had that wont understand that you are strong for getting through that.
Stigmas are so dangerous in our society. Are you healing? Are you better now? If you need an ear to listen, I am here for you!
Sorry to hear, Gina. I'm glad you're no longer with him. ♥ Stay strong, you deserve so much more.
Probably you have to state he was mentally abusive!
The smooth background music is kind of too relaxing for the topic at hand lol
Glad you like it! What music background do you guys generally like?
Psych2Go piano or lofi
@@kaylala4695 Yess Lofi
No music. Takes away from info imo. Great video otherwise.
@@CatsAreNiceMeow Sure thing! We will keep that in mind :)
My mom is super narcissistic and verbally abusive, and watching this made me realize that all my crushes have been narcissists. WELP
I'm really sorry to hear about that, but just remember: we accept the love we think we deserve. Watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower reminds me all the time.
I was raised by two manipulative individuals ....I had a very painful childhood.....I cannot move on from the trauma ......I wanna die
@@lilac624 I'm sorry that you had to go through that. But you can and WILL overcome your trauma if you take the right steps towards recovery.
So ... my mom is the narcissistic one. I don't know about my dad, I see him occasionally (it's been less since the pandemic happened) but I don't live with him, haven't lived with him since I was a very small child, etc. I don't think my dad is narcissistic, not even manipulative because he loves to take me on vacations and stuff when/if my mom lets him. He will also buy me things in stores like cute shirts /just random things I see that I like sometimes. So this is why I don't think anything is wrong with him but my mom is crazy. idk why my parents divorced but if I had to guess it's not what my mom told me,.it's probably because my dad was done dealing with her crap
I get it, and her behavior is f****** infuriating and it's EVERY DAY and I know bc I have to put up with it
I figured out her behavior was bs when I spilled water at other peoples houses and they never reacted the way my mom did when I spilled water
When you cut contact with someone like this it feels so friggen empowering
That part.
My mom convinced me to come home before the lockdown to prevent getting stuck with him for months. I put an end to it, packed my stuff and got home. Dear God, my Mom knew how to protect me when I didn't ... Glad that I have her in my life ❤️
In my case I've been with him the whole pandemic because my mother is always too busy and brags about her new house but never told me me come u can stay in one of the rooms .she know I would pay her rent too.all she does is make me feel worst sometimes she asks me so are u coming or not? I'm going only because at least she doesnt disrespect my private body but it will be temporary.
I clicked on this video SO fast
Lara Sef Me 2 😂
Omg me too
Welcome!!! ❤
Me too!!
Me 2 I found out I was in the type of relationship
One of my worst abusive relationships was with a covert narcissist. He was exactly like this, and it sucks that I didn't get away until after the damage was done :( I'm permanently traumatized from the things he put me through. That relationship broke me, and it's only now (almost a year after it ended) that I'm feeling safe again.
Thank you for your videos. With an Overt Narcissist first he may make promises to change then when that does not work, aggression, and physical violence. He will try to get you back under his control by any means necessary. You are his property no matter how many times he has cheated and left you. I had to leave the state making it more difficult for him to have access to me. This narc traveled to where I was living 5 states away and tried to drag me back cave man style. I have read that the lesser narcissist has poor cognitive function and low impulse control. Some are even capable of rape when they suffer a narcissistic injury. While I believe all narcissist can lash out violently when enraged and suffering from a narcissistic injury it is even more so with the lesser. My experience with this narcissist was even if we separated and he had moved on with a new supply source he would still come around to make sure I was not seeing anyone. If I happened to start dating he became violent even when he was engaged with someone new. Most narcissist when they are love bombing a new supply source will not want the one they discarded in the picture at least in the beginning of his new relationship. If they are engaged with a new supply source and still Hoovering you for fuel they have a sadistic streak. This narcissist cheated throughout the entire marriage. He engaged in triangulation with his first wife. She was a constant in our marriage until her suicide. The Covert Narcissist may try to come back after they have been involved in a few relationships which did not work out. When they try to come back they are low on supply and suffering from depression because of a loss of narcissistic supply. They love to tell you about the relationships they have been in and now they are smearing the person they left you for. They may tell you the person they have been in a relationship with has been abusing them. The Covert may apologize for all his past transgressions and the way he discarded you. He will have an excuse as to why he was so abusive and cruel at the end. It can play with your mind wondering if he is truly sorry. He can even have tears. You have to remember the tears are for himself. He is down and out with no available supply source. You must remember how he was at the end when he discarded you and the mask came completely off. He will seem desperate to keep you around as the Hoover takes place. And he is desperate for narcissistic supply. This is a midrange narcissist I’m talking about here and although very capable of violence he needs to put on a good show to convince you he really is a good person. This narcissist really does believe he is a good person and needs others to see him as such. If you see through this narcissist and don’t buy his story he may leave you alone. He will slink away like the snake that he is in search of new supply sources. Narcissist don’t like to waste their energy and when he sees you are not buying into it he is forced to search out new supply sources. I say forced because it is life or death to him to keep the false construct in place. In order to keep the false self in place he needs narcissistic supply. He needs the admiration of others or he ceases to exist. When you no longer buy the lie he will move on. Covert Narcissist do not display the open grandiosity of the Overt. While the Overt seems full of confidence the Covert lacks self esteem. The Covert will use a lot of pity plays working on your sympathetic nature. He wants you to feel sorry for him. The Covert is a coward. In any case Overt or Covert they suffer a narcissistic injury when they are rejected by an ex. They think they own you for life. In both cases I left the state when my marriages ended:) Additionally there is no way you can be too sure that your spouse isn’t cheating behind your back. The only way you can be sure if your spouse is cheating on you or not is “TO FIND OUT“. Get to find out about a cheating spouse with evidence to prove it by spying their mobile and thereafter gaining access to all the things they might have been hiding away from you. If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
i’ve become aware of the amount of abusive friendships i’ve had in my life lately, and this video helped me really understanding. it really takes a toll on you. i’ve been a puppet for so so so long and i’m tired of it.
I have a friend who fits in most of these traits. They always call me when they have problems and wants to talk about their day/ doesn’t care about what i do. They have no sympathy.
Sorry to hear about that. What's preventing you from leaving them?
u are being used and abused!
I suffered all my life and finally realizing and escaping that abuse is so freeing
Sorry to hear that you have gone through this. I am glad you are able to break free from it.
Same.
Thank you so much for this video. I did some research in the past on covert narcissism. My mom is definitely one. Having to live with her and the rest of my messed up family wears me down a lot mentally and emotionally. I can’t wait to live in my own place by myself.
I’m so grateful for this video, as hopefully it helps someone who is being abused to realise it and get out of the situation.
I was abused by a narcissist for a year and it was the worst experience - I wish I’d had internet back then to see this video! For anyone who is going through it now, Im sorry and please get out of the situation before it gets worse :)
We're glad this video helps! And sorry to hear about what you've been through. The internet is great. Wished I had used it more too during my younger years.
Psych2Go aw thank you!
My heart goes out to all the Victims in this world It's uncalled for and breaks my heart to know so many are losing their lives over this. The Narcissist is uncalled for. *Minslegend* , don't stop doing you we here to support you 💯%..
Psychological effects of TV, Movies, Internet and so on, would be interesting.
Thanks for the suggestion!
Glad I could help. Me personally I'd call it a mixed bag subject. If it helps you to become a better person, embrace it, if it makes you into a worse person, push it away.
that would be awesome
A lot of my famliy members and most of my past frenemies had cluster B personalities. I cut most of them out of my life in search of healthier relationships, I'm a recovering empath.
The worst part about being abused by a narcissistic parent is that other predators know you're a scapegoat. For me, that's the worst.
My dad in a nutshell basically - there is no such thing as communication because everything is about him, everything is my fault, and there's always the victim card being played 24/7. He's always going on about how he isn't appreciated by anyone or thanked for doing good things, but never apologises for things he does wrong. He's always right and you can't ever speak your opinion about anything to do with anything because it sparks a ridiculous debate that can last hours, so you just have to stay silent about anything, whether it's politics or something regarding the family, or even you and you want to scream. It's hard because it's just him, my little sister and I, and I get that of course it's hard to raise two children but at this stage we don't even really have a relationship. I try to distance myself as much as possible until I can figure out a way to leave and try to help my sister as much as possible so she knows she's loved - but yeah it's just hard because I'm in my final year of school now and I need some peace so I can do my best
Anyway pardon my rant but I clicked so fast because I knew this would sound exactly like my dad, and I always thought he night be this, but this clarifies it a bit more, so thank you :)
Sorry to hear about that. Narcissistic parenting is awful. :( Do you think you'll be able to move out soon after you finish school? My mom was similar and I moved out just last year. It was a complete life changer. I hope you can get there soon. ♥
This is also my dad. Everything you've said here is what's going on for me. It's not shared between my siblings though...I am always the target, and he convinces everyone else that I am the outcast of the family. They are so blind, and I get so mad at them for being so blind, but I keep trying to remember that they are under his spell. I broke free only a couple years ago...I still suffer from low self-esteem issues and high-functioning depression. I also feel like I've been turned into a cynic that over-analyses everyone's inner motive, because I don't trust hardly anyone. Stay well.
This is soooo my father
My sibilings , mother and i are trapped by him I literally cannot wait to escape from this
I hate having to tip toe around glass in my own home
I can't wait for my mother to leave him
I hope everything works out for you in the end and that you and your sister are safe ❤
@@SarahJones-rj1xn I can't believe I never got notified for those other two replies from a year ago!!! Anyway, thank you for replying to my comment. When I was little, after my parents had divorced when I was 6, I lived with my mum, but she neglected me, there was a ridiculous substance abuse problem that was so bad to the point where we couldn't have food, she would disappear to the pub every night and bring home some new guy, it was awful. She didn't treat me right, and at the time, my dad was not at this stage with me by any means. I moved in with him and my step mum when I was 11, and things went horribly wrong in their relationship, there was arguing every day, and she'd leave saying it was final, only to come back like two weeks later. I always referred to her as the boomerang because she would always come back, no matter how far he threw her (like emotionally and all).
He started treating me like crap too, but it only escalated when she DID actually leave him a number of years ago. I basically filled her role of being housemaid, and I had highschool to worry about, and I had to take all responsibility of looking after my little sister, which I didn't mind because I love her, but I had a lot on my plate, and it was still never enough, and I was treading on eggshells as you know. From when I was 8, and still even now, I've had PTSD, depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and trichotillomania, so things were extremely rough. I had cut my mum off since she had been manipulating me and using me to her advantage at my expense, and my whole dad's side of the family would blame me for everything SHE caused, but a few years later, I cautiously got back in contact, and she did a total 180 as a person, which was the last thing I ever expected, so seeing as she changed, as hopeless as things have been, there's that tiny hope.
But anyway, in regards to leaving my dad, I knew, I KNEW I had to wait until school was over, and I knew it would be shit, and I knew it was be a huge traumatic ordeal. I graduated at the end of last year, and my dad blew up at me over my not so great but better than I thought results, and he got upset at me over the smallest things. Over December, we went on a visit to his side of the family, and my grandparents as usual would defend all his actions and enable him, and ask me to "do more for your dad, he's going through a lot", but cry if he got upset at them, but no of course I don't matter. When I called them out on it, they had the audacity to say, "well at least you're getting out now", and I said, "what about my sister?", And they'd say, "what are we supposed to do", and I said, "maybe be a parent". There attitude has only made things worse. There was other shit they said, and they've done this for years, going against me over things that weren't my fault, and giving me so much responsibility at such a young age. But yeah, while there my dad would talk all this shit about ME AND my mum (who he doesn't talk to) ON CHRISTMAS and when I got visibly upset, he lost it, and then my grandparents lost it at me, blaming me for ruining Christmas. It set off a PTSD episode for me because it reminded me of when I stayed there another year, and they lost it at me out of nowhere, their religious selves calling me the devil who was only born to break the family apart, and being hit. It was the tone my Granda has used, and his entire demeanor and actions which were so reminiscent of then that had set it off.
By this point, I had decided I would go to uni where my mum lives, which is outside of Sydney (I live in Australia), because one, my marks weren't fantastic, and two, I NEEDED to get out because I couldn't cope anymore. In January, I stayed at my mum's place for a bit, and my dad made something as trivial as a MATTRESS a big deal, and by the end of the conversation, he told me I couldn't stay there anymore, and when I returned to Sydney to pack, I had to stay at my boyfriend's place, and go in between school hours to pack because I wasn't allowed to see my sister because apparently I'm toxic and trying to pit my sister against him, even though the entire time she's been alive, I've always told her that even though I have a bad relationship with him, it doesn't mean if she has to, and that I couldn't wish for more because I want her to be happy. I want her to see and decide for herself what he opinion is, not have me poison her against him, or him to me which he most certainly is doing. Anyway, during the move, police got involved because I didn't feel safe. Every day that I packed, I had panic attacks, really severe ones, and I was exhausted, and I had some of the most intense PTSD of my entire life. And it was hard, seeing my room, my only safe place become empty, and no longer be mine, but then, it was over, and I moved to my mum's at the end of February this year. The worst moment in that for me, was when my dad opened the door for me to get in the house to pack, and I thanked him for opening the door, and I that one day, had the courage to look him in the eye. I'll never forget that look, he looked like he regretted me ever being born. That day packing, was the worst day.
I'm not in contact with my dad or that side of the family at all anymore, I've cut him off. My sister and I found a way to contact each other, but we're being careful - OH and I found out that my step mum is my step mum again, because apparently she actually moved back in a WEEK, A WEEK after I left, so I think she's pathetic going back to him considering everything that happened from the violence to the court cases, and the fact she turned totally nuts being with him. So, I am very concerned about my sister, but at least I can talk to her.
Since moving out, rather than anxiety, even though it's still a massive issue to overcome, but rather than it being there every second of every day because there was always a sense of immediate danger, now I don't have that. But my main issue now is definitely dealing with the PTSD and shitty memories, and breaking out of unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's hard to do uni work, and try to live normally, especially since the virus kicked in just as I moved and uni began so I didn't even get to make a social life of any kind - so in a lot of ways, my life is still back there which has made it hard to move on. And I still overthink everything, and I can hardly look after myself, so I've got a lot of UNlesrning to do. But it's a work in progress and I can definitely say I'm a lot happier now than I was before. I never thought it would ever end, and all that got me through each day was the smallest of things like a flower growing, or doing something with my sister, just anything, even totally insignificant things. And, people hate to hear this, but I cannot tell you how true it is. There is good to be found in every single experience, every single one, one way or another. Maybe you can't see it now, but all kinds of things cause all kinds of other things. But yeah, all you can do, is learn from your experiences, and other people's mistakes too, and take them with you when you leave. And someday, the memories won't hurt as much, and maybe you'll see the positives in them. Things to do with my dad's situation is still raw, so I've got plenty of time to process it and come to those conclusions later, but from the shitty times with my mum in he past, while I'd never go through them again, I can say I'm grateful for a lot of the things I learned that helped me become the person I am now, even if I feel shit about myself sometimes. I promise you, that this will end, but you will have to wait it out, and it feels fucking unbearable, but I PROMISE, you will get out someday. And the fight won't be over as soon as you move on, because you have to learn how to live a normal life and let go of the past and live in the present, but it is possible. Even yesterday, I had horrible PTSD, and haven't been doing so hot, and even reciting events to a psychologist I've had a few good cries. But I cannot say it enough, things will change, because that's how life works
Sorry for my very long comment, but I guess I'm saying I went through a lot, and a lot of times I wanted to commit suicide too, but I made it, and I'm still fighting to actually have full control over myself and my emotions and my happiness, at at least I CAN work on that stuff now and finally get better. I know it's hard to see, but I hope considering everything I've gone through, it gives you some kind of hope
This may not be your thing, but speaking of little things, which I think are the most important things in life to be aware of, for years and years, I've always held this song deep within my heart. I know it's from anime, but the artist herself has a unique perspective on different aspects of life, and that kind of thing is what got me through, so I've listened to more than just this song. You probably don't speak Japanese, but if you look up the lyrics and listen, maybe it'll strike a chord with you. I've cried a few times listening to it, but I guess the words mean more since I understand the original ones too, but it's still worth a listen. It's Ritsuko Okazaki's "For Fruits Basket"
@@Psych2go I never got notified for this comment, but after graduating late last year, just this year in February, I got out and moved in with my mum! I'm still dealing with the effects of everything, namely PTSD, and trying to unlearn unhealthy coping mechanisms, and get to living a healthy life, but I can 100% say I'm not living in fear each and every day, and once this virus is over, I know I'll be able to really make a life here and move on from the past :)
They addressed so many issues lots of people had with the narcissists and that makes me extremely happy to know that he is really listening to their community like they did so many years ago. Thanks *Leapnotch*
Hey whenever you can, could you please do a video on the hidden disabilities e.g. dyspraxia, dyslexia, ADHD, dyscalculia etc.
Thanks
Hey Conor! I will try my best to upload an ADHD video soon :) ❤
Psych2Go that was or dyspraxia it really needs awareness because it’s just as. Common as the other examples
But thanks anyway
Conor Loughman great idea. I have dyspraxia and dyscalculia and I’d love for my family to understand it
@@thesunflowersisters146 Same ! :)
Loving this new animation style!
Thank you ❤
Reminds me of cuphead
Idk, as someone with a very busy schedule sometimes cancelling is the only thing that I can do. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care for them, it’s just that that stuff needs to come first because if not there will be consequences. In most cases plans can be rescheduled but often stuff that comes up can’t.
Sandstone Scribbles ikr
That point annoyed me. I don’t see why I should put one person before things I actually need to get done.
You have to be able to put effort in both
Wings Of Hope yes, but ultimately you should prioritise yourself and your own needs over hanging out with someone else. Likewise, they shouldn’t be completely dependent on you and get angry when you can’t always be there. They should look after themselves. I feel like the only people who are bothered by things like that only have you as a friend and put too many eggs in one basket.
That one sign doesn’t mean you are a covert narcissist, you would be if you do that and exhibit traits from all the other signs too. Otherwise you’re just a human with responsibilities to attend to.
Really appreciate this, *Leapnotch.* Incredibly useful and digestible content. You're making an impact and you deserve the reward. Keep it up.
Say what u want about *Leapnotch,* but this man is a legend, and something about his personality just brings a smile to my face!!!!! he is so charismatic & extremely talented. he's given us hits for over the last 13 years... a legend. Xoxo
*Honestly, just owning it and not trying to hide it is partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of the jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you leapnotch*
Watch out for friendships with covert narcissists too! They can be just as damaging as relationships! After dealing with an overt narcissist in a relationship for years, I thought I had my protective-skills down, but I was not ready for a covert narcissist who totally got the best of me! Three years later, and I still haven't physically recovered from the damage that was done and there is NO accountability.
I'm so sorry to hear. ♥ You are loved by us and we will think good thoughts for you. Healing can be tough, depending on the trauma. Do you go to a therapist?
@@Psych2go Thank you so much, that's very kind of you! I would like to see a therapist and discuss these things eventually, but recovering from the physical health issues it caused is taking all my money. Finally JUST got the medical equipment I need to get well though, so definitely moving forward. I actually am very blessed at the resilience my loving & attentive family gave me as a child though, that's helped me develop effective ways at healing trauma on my own, but it would definitely be helpful to process it all with the attention of another conscious soul, for sure. I can feel I need that. Mostly what I experience sometimes now is sheer astonishment when I think of it, but I'm sure there's probably some other underlying feelings still left, as well. Thank you so much again. You all are great.
At least you can break away from narcissistic friends - unless they have something to use against you
@@izzylandyt The problem is the covert kind is like a snake in the grass. I had zero clue that I needed to break away from my ex-best-friend until she betrayed me to the point of severe physical harm I've still yet to recover from. I would have preferred to have every bone in my body broken and be beaten to a pulp than what I am still experiencing from her betrayal. You can break away from any narcissistic relationship, and you should. The key is in being able to recognize that's what it is in the first place. People describe covert narcs all the time who aren't anywhere near as covert as my ex-best-friend. She never spoke down to me once. She was never unkind. She was just fake as hell. I never even concluded that she was a narc until I wrote to her about what she did to my daughter and I and she had ZERO remorse or care for the harm she caused at all, after pretending to care about us for so many years. What she did was highly illegal and if I had the money for an attorney I could have sued her for hundreds of thousands of dollars or more from all the took away from me. Breaking away is not the problem for me, all the years of my life that have been stolen from me and that I'm still physically suffering form now is the problem. I'm still medically homebound from what she did.
Thank you for making this video. Was raised by my abusive narcissistic grandmother... this was what I needed.
Glad this video could be helpful. How's life now?
Psych2Go It’s alright, still living in a very toxic household, just trying to push through and manage my ptsd, as I have been recently diagnosed..
My dad is definitely a covert narcissist. That’s why I try to stay away from him as much as possible.
Smart move! I'm glad you have that space between you guys.
100% yes!!! I dealt with a narcissistic friend and they made my life soo stressful. But when I finally put my foot down and took up for myself.. He was shocked.
My "friend" mustreats me
She tells me i need to improve myself,she talks about myself,she kicks me. And tells me im stupid.
I want to escape,but i cant.
We share the sane friend group,but every time i text her,she always ghosts me.
It makes me sad
But i dont wanna lose her.
She dosnt care about me,only herself.
She also puts herself down,she plays the victim card.
I NEED to escape,but i cant.
Aw Tell someone
Sarah Randall Can you stop being a jerk? Someone’s sharing their experience with us and you have the audacity to call them an attention seeker.
@@APoliticalConfusionAndMess there is no need to be rude. I'm just sharing my experience,im.not trying to get attention.
@@im_straight_up_unoriginal but i dont want to hurt her feelings. And shes the type of person who would most likely spread a romour about me
DJ pandaz___ rumors happen. And if they’re untrue then the people who know u won’t believe them. If it hurt her feelings and she does something like that she just wants u to get back in the loop hole. I would risk it just Bc you should love yourself above any friend. You should have the right to be happy with who u are. Don’t let shity people like her fool u and play a game. Bc at the end of the day it’s your feelings. Your heart. Treat yourself with the same respect, emotion and attitude you want to be treated with. I can tell you’re strong Bc you’re seeking help. That takes guts. U got this ! I believe that you can do things for the better for yourself. Good luck! And I hope this helps. Know people who care and actually love you will know whatever negative thing your friend says is false. You got this. Stay strong 💪♥️
So... Uh... I myself am a narcissist, I absolutely do glorify myself (despite my low self esteem) and those I am friends with, and I tend to do some of the things they listed out in this video. But, the thing is, I actually don't want this video to fool you into thinking that we're all heartless.
For example, I feel really really guilty about ignoring people. Constantly, in fact, and since I'm poor, and a tad socially awkward, keeping up with me in any way but a Discord group or something is tough for me.
Or, I actually am pretty empathetic and sympathetic, a lot of the time, and I often do listen to the woes of people... but sometimes I definitely don't like having people come to me. Sometimes I'm not good at it. Sometimes I am busy. Sometimes I've heard the same woes too many times from the same person. I can be uncaring, and it isn't a great feeling, but it's true that it happens.
I don't really need to be centre of the attention in crowds, but I hate being a third wheel.
I do indeed feel misunderstood, and I don't find that to be misplaced.
I'm bad at reaching out to people sometimes, but I do definitely try to reach out to people a little, especially if I am already a close friend with them.
... This is gonna sound narcissistic in of itself, but give narcissists a chance, and try and work around them a little.
I dunno if it's just me, but chances are a lot of them aren't trying to be manipulative people, and a lot of them aren't bad people, or even too egotistical. We just have just have certain mindsets or quirks.
Talk to them, maybe, if you do feel manipulated or something. If they aren't bad people, they'll probably be open to hearing about your issues, and might at least try to change.
But I mean, if you do acknowledge your narcissism and you know it's bad, why don't you try to fix that?
(Not asking in a rude way tho)
Mine poisoned my cats, triangulated me with my own family, told my kids lies about me, sexually assaulted and then raped me in my bed, hid money from me the entire 17 years, sold my assets so he could control me, admittedly sabotaged my dream career after I worked tirelessly on it for years, put me down at every turn, cheated on me the entire marriage, and lied, lied and lied again.
Sorry. Maybe they aren’t all bad. Or maybe you’re not really a narcissist. Honestly I don’t think it can be properly diagnosed until after 25.
Young people have narc traits that are normal developmental stages. Like a two-year-old or teenager.
Any diagnosis before mid 20s is bullshit.
@@Ty-mu7gl I can't change who I am or how I feel....
At the very least, even if you can curb stuff out and all, some habits die hard.
Not to mention I like being a narcissist in some ways, or I don't view every narcissistic trait or viewpoint as a bad thing. Not always, at least.
+OnimaxBlade Not tryina be rude, but don't complain about something you're not willing to change.
Saying you can't change something you know is bad is being too lazy or too unmotivated to make yourself better. Think about it
@@Ty-mu7gl I have actively changed and I do still try to change myself sometimes.
Like I said, every type of person has some issues, like how a quiet person can struggle with speaking up.
I know what I struggle with, and laziness and lack of motivation aren't necessarily the prime things to blame, though they can factor in.
Not to mention that how I am isn't all bad, it really isn't. Trust me, I am insecure, and have sometimes asked explicitly what people like about me. My closest friends understand and like my narcissistic side, and some of my good traits come from there, like being pretty loyal, for example.
I'm not going to make a case that there aren't egotistical, really nasty people, a lot of them narcissistic, my older brother is like that, he was and is an abusive person.
And to that other comment, god, that's called a monster, not a person, jesus...
But a narcissistic person is, or at least can be, a very regular, kind, great person. I've met other narcissistic people too who are kind people, two have been very good friends.
Making people out to be villainous, or problematic, isn't a very condusive or kind thing.
But of course im gonna reiterate that watching out for anyone who seems like a bad person though is smart, and Im not gonna claim some narcissists wouldn't do some of the things said in this vid with mal-intent. Because Ive seen that too.
Every single point to the extreme!! But also an alcoholic...good therapists are hard to find and once found, they aren't accepting patients or have a wait list.
Hi phy2go I have a suggestion situation loneliness or psychotic disorder
Thanks!
Used to have friendship like this, where everything revolved around them. Then when I needed help they always seemed uninterested and bothered. I still love them though and it was so hard, but I had to do what was best.
My wife has spent years convincing me I have Borderline Personality Disorder, only to find out, in therapy, and after actually sitting down with her children, that she is a MAJOR Vulnerable Narcissist, who has played this exact same game with all the past partners in her life. So now, while I am currently having to tell her, "I'm in therapy for BPD." In actuality, I'm in therapy learning how to keep my sanity while living with a Vulnerable Narcissist and preparing to leave if she continues and doesn't get some help.
My ex boyfriend was a covert narcissist, and took me nearly two whole years to spot it. I finally realised what was happening and I broke up this week.
Thank you for the video! It was incredibly accurate.
I'm so proud of you for being strong enough to face him and do what's best for you!!!! I hope you will be on the road to a better life.
Thank you soooo much! It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. But I was stuck on this cycle for almost 4 whole years (although we dated for 2), so it was really time to end. You comment made my day ❤
@@ellenpereira9521 awh I am so glad!!!
Proud of you for getting out of the toxic dynamic
@@petricore_gabby thank youuuuu!
My best friend just got out of a long-term relationship with someone who has displayed every single one of these traits over their entire relationship. Cutting her out of his life was one of the best decisions he made and I'm so glad to see him find better people to be around!
Thank God for this video. This made me so much more aware, of a few people I know with this characteristic.
I love this damn channel
I love you ❤
Can... can you be one without noticing?! I don't lack empathy, but some of these traits kinda fit...
Yes, I was like that a while ago. It's not wrong to admit you were once toxic, as long as you try and change it
please dont self diagnose or panic because of a generalized TH-cam video, also even if you where ..that doesnt make you a horrible monster of a person like a lot of these types of things on the internet elude to or flat out portray, it just means you have personal trauma and things that need healing / how you were raised even and abuse that comes with it and it'd be good to at least find a counselor online like on that one website I forgot the name, and have a chat. people are "toxic" because they themselves are dealing with problems and you are not your illness, we need to stop labeling people as the illness and make sure it's clear that it's an illness not a type of person and you can and will get better if you have it. 💖
I believe it would be better to get a specialized diagnosis, but even if you self diagnose try giving a reason to your behaviour rather then giving it a name and feel bad about who you are. I am a so-called "really unstable and disturbed person" and I don't really like being considered like that, but as long as you don't feel bad with yourself and don't cause too much trouble I think it's fine to just be who you are.
Yeah. While some of us might have narcissistic tendencies, we might not be full blown narcissistic. It is good to be mindful and reflect about whether we are being too selfish. Narcissism itself is like a spectrum. However, people with full blown narcissism are usually unaware of their own behaviour.
Yes, of course. This is why diagnosis is so important, so we can understand ourselves better. ♥ It's only when we are ready to acknowledge our faults, habits, etc that we can become better people. :)
I feel like you lately gained a lot of visibility, and your videos quality is getting even better! Congrats, Ill keep supporting You ^^
Thank you for noticing! Yes, we do our best to continue growing! It's a lot of hard work, but we couldn't have done it without you guys. ♥
I really love the visuals in this vid!
Glad you love it! Lesly works really hard to produce quality animations for you guys!
me to its like a mixture of Disney and rubberhouse
I know right! Its improving every video!😀😀
@@filia-kun Defunetiveky their simplistic visuals make their videos really calm and appealing.
Yes. I was involved with a covert narcissist for a number of years. The experience was damaging, draining, and emotionally abusive. Covert narcissism isn’t discussed enough; I didn’t know what I was dealing with. And while there were numerous red flags, and I often felt badly with them, I had convinced myself they needed me, and it was my job to save them from their pain... I was terribly wrong. I wish I’d walked away much, much sooner. 😕
I think it's good that you got out of your toxic relationship. It must of been very difficult for you to deal with, however I'm sure you've come out stronger from that situation. Wishing you happiness from now on.
So glad you're in a better place now, you deserve to be loved by someone who can treat you well. ♥ Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. What's important is that you recognized the dangers and got out of them. :)
i just cut off a toxic friend, i knew she was toxic but was too scared to be alone. but now i've realised my worth, it's better to be alone than with people who make you feel alone
I ran away from my house when I was 14 because of my narcissistic mother's constant physical and mental abuse. Survived in the streets for 3 years, came back to complete my studies. She didn't felt guilty at all on what she had done. Years past, am 40 now but my past stills haunts me.
I really like the tips and suggestions made in this video, and the warning signs to look for in people you may know or be close to. It's very helpful as well, to be able to spot these signs in yourself so you can better yourself. Good content!
This explains like half of my previous friendships. :/ thank goodness I learned eventually and did what was right for myself...
So sorry to hear. :( But, you deserve better and I'm glad you got yourself out of those toxic friendships. ♥
Someone give an Oscar to *Leapnotch...* the amount of professionalism he just displayed... Words can't even describe
Wow I honestly immediately started crying at *minslegend* part of honesty. Imagine sacrificing that much for your own firm's success, and being so thrilled to see them all grow. I come from a small family and can imagine recommending all of them to you but an absolute inspiration for the way to surround yourself with love.
I didn't fall for it, luckily but after watching this I think a friend of mine is being manipulated. Thanks for the video.
No problem. Are you planning to let your friend know about this?
@@Psych2go definetively
Something that I think should be emphasized, from personal experience, is that sometimes they aren’t obviously dismissive.
But say you’re discussing your bad day. They can initially be receptive and appear to care, but they will change the subject to themselves at their first chance to respond. The whole conversation will shift and accelerate in the opposite direction without a second thought. It’s not directly insulting or dismissing your emotions; it’s indirect and confusing, but sends the same message.
Gawd I didn't even notice my ex bf was a covert narssassist it's so easy to get carried away by emotions
Indeed, emotions can be blinding, but I'm glad you notice now.
my mother would beat me savagely such as hair pulling, slapping, kicking & scratching when i failed in school or made mistakes in keeping an orderly room, school bag or breaking household ornaments by accident. she also chased me around the house with a knife to scare me when i could not cope with school work. she also would pretend to act insane by suddenly keeping silent and laughing at herself. she did this for 3 yrs while i was in the 2nd to 3rd grade.
I realized that a friend who I actually thought was loving and empathetic is really a narcissist. 😞 I don't hear from her for weeks, and when I do, she "dumps" on me without ever asking how I am or what's new in my life. I learned that unless *I* made the effort, there was rarely any communication on her part. It hurts, but it is what it is. You can't really maintain a long distance friendship and have it be mainly one-sided, so I don't bother trying, anymore.
I had a narcissist friend. At first he was really charming and charismatic but as the friendship goes on he was treating me more worse. When I ended the friendship, he was being really petty and would talk behind my back. It's been months now, and still he would say stuff just to get a reaction out of me. Really such a narcissist. He likes the reaction of belittling someone just to bring himself up.
Oh, my dad's a narcissist then ;^;
I have a parent like this who has said terrible things to me when I’ve tried to confront her about her behaviors. I’ve run out of options but to cut ties with her completely. She has minimized the suffering she inflicted on me and played the victim card instead.
Can you make a video on how to “break up” with a narcissist abusing friend? I’ve tried for the past year but I just feel so bad bc she always says “you r my only friend” or “I get it, your just another person who doesn’t care about me” 😔😞
Please help 🙏
Don't feel bad about leaving them. Don't listen to what they say, they'll only exploit you further if you're sympathetic towards them and stay. Don't feel bad or ever regret it, I promise you, once you do it you'll know how it was the best choice you ever made. It's gonna be alright without them.
I will discuss about this with the team. Yes, unfortunately, this is one of the tactics narcissistic people use to get someone to stay as their Narcissistic supply. They crave the attention in a very unhealthy way.
Psych2Go thank you 🙂❤️
She is trying to manipulate you with that statements. Don't feel sorry for her, she doesn't care about you!
I love you guys so much. I've been watching your videos on Depression and your one on Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder and it's really helping me understand who I am. Thank you so much.
this video helped me come to realize that my friend probably wasn’t a narcissist but without a doubt took me for granted
This is my dad and I knew this from a young age
same. i know that he does care for me and that he loves me but some of these things happen a lot
annebutnotreally yeah It’s hard witch is why we tend to go frOm hating him
And wishing he wasn’t your father back to loving him and taking back everything u said it’s a cycle
Me too
Mine too, and he destroyed my brother (with narcissistic and also violent behaviours), that's why he became like that too.
Anna Chan it’s sad
My friend Jack seems like this, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to leave because he’ll talk bad about me and stretch truths to make me seem like the bad person.
Thank you so much for all that you've done for I and my family during the difficult time! *minslegend* you eased all my pain and provided a beautiful celebration... thank you so much for the evidence you helped me received against my Narcissist husband, Your kindness and professionalism helped us through and is much appreciated
I cut ties again with the same narcissist that was in my life last month. My old friends won't speak to me because she said I said this or that ya know. I lost friends the first time and I got lonely and went back to a year or two after that I went back to college and started my level 7 degree in childcare I made new friends but I promise myself not to introduce them to her. I always thought I don't want history to repeat itself and to be blamed for something I didn't do. I confronted her about two friendships she destroyed she said she met them once and didn't do anything which wasn't true she went to a going away party for one of them, shopping days with them etc.
A guy I used to hang with always used the excuse
"I have bills to pay and no time to hang out."
Yeah, you work 40 hours a week... Everyone mostly does. Quit lying to me.
I've been the victim of a narcissistic abuser for more than 2 years...the person had all the traits described in the video. What I've learned from the experience: never try to change or give the person the chance to change because it will never happen. Just leave and don't look back if you want to mentain your self esteem and sanity. Don't put your life on hold and give up your passions and future plans while waiting for the narcissist to change. Accept that they won't and move on.
I love your channel! Psychology always interested me, and it really helps! I'm going to be taking a Psychology Class next year, and your channel is really helping me learn a lot! And, it brings more knowledge to many people!~
Thanks for your kind words ❤ I hope you enjoy your class!
@@Psych2go Hey no problem! And Thank you!
My mother can be very kind and gentle, but when she gets upset you don't see that part of her. I always assumed that she couldn't lack empathy because of this. Never thought about my emotions being completely minimized by her as a lack of empathy. Makes sense now.
amazing animation and amazing topic as always! One of the best channels on TH-cam. You help me consider if I do something wrong in my relationship and help me fix it !
So glad you found it helpful, thanks for watching! :)
i was being abused by a narcissist friend . he had a girlfriend but still would flirt with me and showed he cared , but i never gave in because i never wanted to date anyone who is already committed.
But then his gas lightening came in strong , later i started developing feelings for him , he knew i am an empath and he would treat me badly when he knew I liked him .
it was heart wrenching, he knew i loved him but to make me jealous , he would talk to his gf and then ask me out . i was always there for him but he only appreciated me when i was alone with him and becomes rude when we were in social circle.
It was a whole hell situation .finally i decided to cut him off from my life , Later he asked people about me where she is , but now i am living my life happily . Narcissistic abusive relationship
fyi( his gf was no good she was a manipulative person who broke his earlier relation and stared dating him even when he was previously committed ,this i got to know later ) i am so happy i am out of reach of those toxic people )
I once needed some advice that my stepmother would have been perfect to give, but she is busy so I waited until she was taking a break from work and just idly watching TV and browsing the internet to approach her. She blew me off quickly because she was "busy vegging out". Shes the first to give criticism even when it's about things that are recreational, but try and offer criticism of any kind to her and she becomes immediately defensive and starts projecting.
She had surgery a while back, and the day after she came home I was at my dad's house for something, and the first question out of my mouth to my dad was "hows K?" A few days later I was there again and she was getting on to me about something and accused me of not asking after her health. I rebutted with "if you bothered to ask your husband about that you'd already know that asking how you were was the first thing out of my mouth!" She didn't like that.
Sorry to hear about that, have you tried talking about this with your dad? How old are you and how long until you can move out? I realize that when people are difficult to live with, space does wonders. I wish you the best of luck. ♥
@@Psych2go thanks for the support. I'm in my 30s and no longer live with them though my father does still help support me financially. Emotional support doesn't seem like something he is capable of. My father wont hear criticism of his wife...let alone her hearing it herself. He has been her #1 punching bag for most of my life, though she is pretty good at hiding it from others. He's been through a lot but refuses to acknowledge that a mental health professional might be beneficial to him. They're a big mess of ego and narcissism and there is no reaching them.
This is straight up my sister, without a doubt. Conversations were always about who offended her that day/week, she held onto grudges long enough for them to have grandchildren, she threw tantrums when my mother didn't give her what she wanted (which was usually great amounts of money, meanwhile my mother had no retirement funds, little to no savings, and my sister knew it), and... man I could go on for an hour.
I'm dating one now. I moved in with her on the promise that she would change and start being more selfless. The moment I moved in, and had nowhere else to go, shes been treating me like shit and always threatens to kick me out if I dont act according to how she wants me to act.
@meh I'm having a hard time getting out of my situation now that I've moved in with her.
Jennifer Kinipela i know what your going through its tuff you feel like your walking on egg shells with this person making sure not to piss them off because they will make you feel little and worthless with any options you have i was in your shoes but he would try to kick me and our son out if i didnt do what he said but yet he could do whatever he wanted and make me feel how ever he wanted.
Do you have a friend or parent you can move back in with until you can find a new roommate? I think it's important to know that you always have an option. Narcissists are good at making you feel helpless, so don't give her that power.
@@Psych2go I'm in a similar situation as this woman. But I get so angry I become violent, it then makes me wonder whether there is something wrong with me or is it a result of my partner's narcissism? I feel trapped
Lol, watching this video so I can avoid being a narcissist- realises that one of my friends is a perfect embodiment of this 👌
Omgg this is EXACTLY what I'm dealing with right now
What aspects are you dealing with?
Psych2Go I feel like I'm really empathetic so I didn't realize something was wrong until recently. The person I'm dealing with is my classmate and she's really smart and everyone likes her because of her way of talking and personality. We're in high school right now but in middle school she was wasn't popular and was bullied about how she dressed and all that. These days she's the center of attention and she says what she thinks even if it's hurtful. I feel like once in for all she's at the top where she always wanted to be but couldn't so other people's wellbeing isn't any of her concern. She picks on me for the smallest reasons, excepts for me to agree with her always, talks behind others back so because of that I feel really sorry for her because it seems like she doesn't know what she's doing to people. Because of her past I don't want to confront her and let people know what kind of person she really is because it seems like she feels great but at the same time I've heard how she speaks about her "friends" behind their backs and that's not acceptable either. I actually realized what person she really was because of these videos because before I just thought I was delusional when really I was manipulated because of my empathetic self.
lalauma I’m in the exact same situation
The Timing on those vids is scary. JUST got done with someone who did the exact things described in the Video. Might have helped a little earlier, but good video
Thanks for watching, so glad you walked away! That's a big step!
Great to know I've been "friends" with narcissists all throughout high school...
Sorry to hear, but I'm glad you know, so you can break out of the cycle. ♥
I was there for my ex when he needed me. Himself even said that i saved his life. But he blocked me when i need him all the time and tell me i am a rock on his shoulder.
NEVER CLICKED ON A VIDEO SO QUICK BEFORE!!
Thank you for watching! ♥ Were you able to learn something?
I've been in this kind of toxic relation for nearly a year. It really sucks all your energies. Everything you do will never be enough for a narcissist. Even if you give all yourself, he/she will tell you you didn't do that much in the end. The worst thing happened when I told him he should get some psychological help, because just my love could not work. The answer was "everyone loves me for who I am, and it is just you to don't love me suggesting me this" ...it was just a terrible dark life experience.
I wonder what circumstances in childhood actually make a person be that way. Ik everything is rooted in childhood so there should be an explanation
Low self esteem worth and love. Narcissist actually have no confidence. And yes usually childhood abuse by a narcissist, it's a vicious cycle.
I've got some of this traits and so does my father, although im a bit confused about this. I have met a few people who most likely are covert narcs who have been very abusive trying to get under my skin. I'd say parental abuse/addiction and bullying by close ones definately might have played its part. Although pushing people away also might be related to introversion and attachment problems.
It's hard to say, a lot of factors come to mind. Narcissists can sometimes be bred by narcissistic parenting, a tough childhood, etc.
It Steems from childhood rejection
They make the best targets for MLM and Media, you can cut off their heads , pour this in their brain directly and I still can't promise they will ever get it . They just love the abuse . The best thing to do is know that you have tried but don't invest too much energy no matter who it is people only changes when they are ready . Thank you for the video . I have a great deal of experience with these types , I usually just don't tell them . They do get it eventually though . Just send them great blessings .
*cough* last ex boyfriend *cough* he definitely was a narcissist
Sorry to hear about that, but I'm glad you moved on. ♥
When this video gets published the day after I left a two year toxic relationship with a guy who made me feel like shit and I know now he was a covert narcissist. I never knew this was a thing. Wild
Can you do a video on how to move on from someone you really cared about, or to handle abandonment by friends?
Sorry to hear you're going through this, I can run this by the team. In the meantime, we have a video on handling breakups that you can still obtain advice from: th-cam.com/video/Zpd8UzVEAC8/w-d-xo.html
Another thing is when you're upset, and talking about how your day was bad or things like that, they will try to 1 up you with their "bad day". Making it about themselves, and dismissing or belittling your emotions.
Great video! Can you make a video on Verbal abuse?
We can! Did you want to start with some signs we could include? :)
When my biological dad told me in his confused and defeated tone that he didn't even think I was his child because my mother was "on the streets", I knew right then that my mother was absolutely right about him. And that even though I didn't think my stepdad was any better, in that moment, I felt like anybody would be better than the trash I was related to. He told 8 or 9 year-old me that he wasn't sure I was his kid to make me hate my mother who was never "on the streets" and my stepfather, who truly is and was a douche in hindsight, just so I would decide to live with him and stop child-support payments. After that night at his house, I never exercised visitation again. At first, he made me feel bad about not going, but the longer I stayed away, the easier it became to not care. I didn't speak to him or see him for about 3 years. I saw him again in middle school, and I didn't care that he showed up with birthday gifts. I appreciated the gesture, but wasn't guilt-tripped into rekindling our relationship. I don't have the ability to escape my toxic household right now and I didn't back then either, but I certainly had the ability to pull away from a toxic relationship. One toxic parent is bad enough, but three all at once? Jesus help me...
When character got hung up on and started crying, I wanted to jump through the screen and hug him.
Wheres my notification squad at 👏
I'm here!
Y'all are amazing. Love you guys ♥
The cartoons used even though they're a simple drawing really hits home and makes me kinda emotional. All of my life I've been surrounded by narcs and toxic ppl. I did not know this was not normal. I knew it was wrong but I actually thought this was how everyone was. Even into my adult life my friends were manipulative and didn't last. Same with intimate relationships. I wish I knew about this stuff when I was younger.
Could you maybe do a video about Asperger’s syndrome or other forms of autism? I’d like to know more about it
i had a friend that acted exactly what you listed here and i was trying and i was finding out the name of the personality traits she has. i recently broke off our friendship few months ago because of how she "hasn't had time to listen to my problems" when i, in the other hand could. she gave me sort of an apology that consisted of excuses that she was 'too busy'. she pulled this a couple of times since the beggining of our friendship and i thought she actually WAS busy,, until she did it almost all the time :/ anyways, cool video!
Well... I am half ways the narcissistic person.. I Will just... End all my... Friendships now