I’m almost a year into my insomnia journey and I cannot stress enough that everything Aly is saying here works! It just takes time to get there. Don’t give up folks! Daniel’s books and The Sleep Coach School videos, plus Guy Meadow’s book The Sleep Book have all helped me get through insomnia. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them! Once I slowly overcame fear of not sleeping I was having speed bumps where I was still jerked awake by hypnic jerks and adrenaline rushes and I couldn’t figure out why it was still happening when mentally I felt calm about being awake at night. I realised only recently that I had become afraid of the feeling of fear itself and that was what my brain was now perceiving as a threat when I tried to sleep. I’ve since been imaging fear, anxiety and adrenaline as little characters that I now welcome in and say thank you to for looking out for me and trying to protect me from threat. This very act of welcoming them and accepting them has slowly diminished them night by night and I am now barely getting any jerks and falling asleep well. I know this isn’t a victory and there will be more speed bumps but I have gone from endless nights of no sleep to lots of good nights and some bad. A huge improvement! As Daniel says ‘The only way to win is not to play’ and that’s true. The minute I see it as a victory I have pressure to sleep the next night and then my brain perceives the threat again. But if I am simply grateful for a good night and place no expectations on the next, knowing that being tired can’t hurt me (even if it feels awful at the time) then it’s easier. Honestly, I have learned so much from Daniel’s books and videos. They’ve been my lighthouse while I have been lost at sea. Thank you to Daniel and all the other coaches and guest speakers on this channel! I am so grateful! Whenever I have another speed bump I just come right back to your books and videos and they help guide me to the right path again ❤
What an amazing post after I’ve started my journey a year ago I’ve gone through months of amazing sleep to another speed bump even a year down the line and it’s like your brain forgets everything and the fear becomes so loud and I’m back reminding myself this always sorta itself back out and welcoming these fears and showing my brain they aren’t a threat us the most important thing to do to move past all of this I love your analogy of seeing those uncomfortable feelings as characters and accepting and welcoming them that’s what I need to do - ❤
I have recovered from insomnia. I get 7hrs and some good nights 8. I can say that sleep and longer hrs of sleep started happening when I found peace in the storm. To sleep again is simply finding peace in the storm. You know everything has failed and its okay whatever happens happens😢
Your video got through to me in a whole knew way and had me realize this is another area of my life where I am clinging on with anxiety to control. Wow, thank you for this and so glad I came across it
My problem too. Nothing upsetting during the night...read or stream.....it is the low energy and low mood that I struggle with. I know how much better I feel with "good sleep".
Thanks for the video! I’ve recently realized that befriending wakefulness doesn’t necessarily mean I have to enjoy it or have fun while awake. I found that trying to read or scrolling through Netflix finding nothing of interest just made me more frustrated. After reading more about NATTO and ACT, I’ve started to just rest in bed and ride the wave of uncomfortable feelings. I feel like this is the work that needs to be done, just riding these feelings without resistance until the brain gets tired of sending the signals and sensations. So in a way befriending wakefulness, for me, just became accepting/surrendering to these feelings I can’t control. I should also note, some of these unwanted thoughts and feelings came from CBTI. I’m still working on becoming comfortable with the thought of being awake in bed for longer than 30 minutes…. I feel like my struggle become much worse after I started to believe I could make things worse if I stayed too long in bed.
I want to thank Aly tremendously I look forward for your videos!! You are amazing at what you do and a great coach!! 😊 Everything you're saying is on point I've experienced it to the t, and I could totally see how it's a kind of anxiety from hell lol. I have researched sleep for decades because I've had this problem for decades. Honestly researching sleep is probably holding me back.. it's an obsession. You all were in the struggle and you all are sleep coaches mm not sure if I should stop..!? Maybe I'll stop after you're series Aly. Between Daniel, Beth and Aly the whole team really you all have been so helpful in understanding this thing. Cpti was not helpful whatsoever for me. It was a torture on top of torture. At times to myself I find myself thinking.. or straight up sayin out loud, f*** this who wants to deal with something so finicky and elusive! Something that ebbs and flows, old age and poor sleep. It' doesn't behave like other bodily drives clearly! Like hunger or thirst. You eat you drink and you move on. It's like a whole mental and physical trip that nobody has time for lol. SMH I understand and know it's anxiety like no other, but I feel like it's more to the picture.. because it's really everyone at some point in time experiences this phenomenon. This is what I would say before I started watching Beth and Ali's videos. I really appreciate the video with Daniel and Nina. Super helpful!! Really appreciate all of you 😊 PS. I love this, "to win is not to play" thank you Danielle🙏
One thing that helped me with befriending wakefulness is to find something to look forward to in the event that I experience wakefulness, and have it ready. Sometimes its as simple as getting to put on a special pair of fluffy socks, or read a book that I'm excited to read, or I'll save some youtube videos specifically for those times of wakefulness. When I start to feel that fear of wakefulness come up, I think to myself along the lines of, "Well, I would prefer to sleep of course, but I also would love to sit cozy in my fluffy socks and read my book." And I focus on a nice scene of being up in the quiet night experiencing those things. Its such a relief to know that if I can't sleep, I can comfort myself and treat myself to something nice instead of being miserable, even if I would much rather just fall asleep easily. Ironically, that usually gives me peace with the idea of being awake and I fall asleep. But when I don't, I let myself experience those nice things I was looking forward to, and make sure to relish it so that my anxious brain can understand it is safe and even sometimes special to be awake at night.
I realize that I am using befriending wakefulness as a "sleep effort". Despite all the education, nothing changes for my sleep maintenance insomnia. Any suggestion how to reframe for me? Thank you for all you do.
This insight itself leads where you want to be because when you catch your brain going “okay let’s befriend wakefulness to get some sleep” then it’s like a secret, once revealed it doesn’t exist. Also, anything that isn’t an attempt to force sleep, what feels nice, is befriending wakefulness, it doesn’t have to be something active. Rooting for you
I've been there and used to worry incessantly about my memory and the long term impact of sleeplessness. I learned that anxiety also presents itself with memory recall issues and general brain fog. I came to accept that my biggest issue was anxiety and the fear of not sleeping..... everything else was just secondary. Slowly I recovered. From multiple, nightly awakenings with my heart jumping through my chest, to a peaceful relationship with sleep. The pressure to sleep for the sake of your memory will result in...less sleep. And anxiety will create more memory issues. A vicious circle. Be kind to yourself. If you don't sleep so well, it's ok. Your memories will still be there and you can absolutely get better over time. Go well. Wishing you all the best.
@@jamesstacey1742 can you please tell, how many months does it usually take to recover after letting go, I know that it will vary with each person, also I'm not obsessing over when I'm going to get my recovery, I just want to get an idea.
It is a tricky question because as soon as you place a time scale on your recovery, you create pressure on yourself to be well within your predetermined timeframe. This is not necessary. Instead I will say this. I still have bad nights from time to time. My success is that I do not ruminate or worry about my sleep. I simply put my head on the pillow, relax and bingo, I'm asleep. It will take a little time to rewire your thinking and there will be ups and downs. But that's ok. You are on track as you are not obsessing. The magic is happening already. Let it all unfold and detach yourself. Your sleep is already within you. It is not a matter of when it will happen, because it will. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, you are almost there!
@@jamesstacey1742 thank you. Also I wanted to share that I can sleep all I want in the afternoon but I just can't sleep at night, even if I skip sleeping in the afternoon, I still can't sleep at night. Maybe my brain has associated night sleep with anxiety. But I'm slowly trying to shift my sleep towards night.
Often it’s because we think we are “supposed to” sleep at night and then there’s pressure, but where not “supposed to” sleep daytime so there’s not pressure
It IS such a paradox, it literally wakes itself up because it’s afraid of waking up… so even if we are really tired and sleep we become alert…. But just understanding this is very helpful
Daniel I’m a year and a half into finding you and still hitting speed bumps is this normal? I don’t know if I need to enroll in immunity once and for all or not I just don’t know if I should be fully recovered by now 😢
Great video all these concepts are on point. I found Daniel in a news article while looking for information in how to overcome insomnia. I definitely recommend him and his team of coaches. They are the best!
I haven't been able to sleep at all (or very little) the past 2 nights, yet when I go to bed I still don't feel sleepy, even if I try melatonin or even antihistamines... in bed my mind is racing over things, why is that? I'm a bit worried cause usually when I have insomnia I am sleepy and it's my body that's keeping me awake. This is very strange.
![ว้าว!ลุงบีมแบกทองมารับขวัญหลานกันยกบ้าน [cc] แดนแพทตี้ SS2 | EP.49 |](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Osihq1OAs-4/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m almost a year into my insomnia journey and I cannot stress enough that everything Aly is saying here works! It just takes time to get there. Don’t give up folks! Daniel’s books and The Sleep Coach School videos, plus Guy Meadow’s book The Sleep Book have all helped me get through insomnia. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them! Once I slowly overcame fear of not sleeping I was having speed bumps where I was still jerked awake by hypnic jerks and adrenaline rushes and I couldn’t figure out why it was still happening when mentally I felt calm about being awake at night. I realised only recently that I had become afraid of the feeling of fear itself and that was what my brain was now perceiving as a threat when I tried to sleep. I’ve since been imaging fear, anxiety and adrenaline as little characters that I now welcome in and say thank you to for looking out for me and trying to protect me from threat. This very act of welcoming them and accepting them has slowly diminished them night by night and I am now barely getting any jerks and falling asleep well. I know this isn’t a victory and there will be more speed bumps but I have gone from endless nights of no sleep to lots of good nights and some bad. A huge improvement! As Daniel says ‘The only way to win is not to play’ and that’s true. The minute I see it as a victory I have pressure to sleep the next night and then my brain perceives the threat again. But if I am simply grateful for a good night and place no expectations on the next, knowing that being tired can’t hurt me (even if it feels awful at the time) then it’s easier. Honestly, I have learned so much from Daniel’s books and videos. They’ve been my lighthouse while I have been lost at sea. Thank you to Daniel and all the other coaches and guest speakers on this channel! I am so grateful! Whenever I have another speed bump I just come right back to your books and videos and they help guide me to the right path again ❤
What an amazing post after I’ve started my journey a year ago I’ve gone through months of amazing sleep to another speed bump even a year down the line and it’s like your brain forgets everything and the fear becomes so loud and I’m back reminding myself this always sorta itself back out and welcoming these fears and showing my brain they aren’t a threat us the most important thing to do to move past all of this I love your analogy of seeing those uncomfortable feelings as characters and accepting and welcoming them that’s what I need to do - ❤
I have recovered from insomnia. I get 7hrs and some good nights 8. I can say that sleep and longer hrs of sleep started happening when I found peace in the storm. To sleep again is simply finding peace in the storm. You know everything has failed and its okay whatever happens happens😢
Your video got through to me in a whole knew way and had me realize this is another area of my life where I am clinging on with anxiety to control. Wow, thank you for this and so glad I came across it
I can accept not sleeping, but it's how awful I feel the next day that I struggle with. I just hurt all over.
Totally the same - feeling sick and tired the next day is what’s bothering me the most!
My problem too. Nothing upsetting during the night...read or stream.....it is the low energy and low mood that I struggle with. I know how much better I feel with "good sleep".
Hi Joanne, Jessie and Les - we have a playlist called unrefreshing sleep, that could help much… rooting for you
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you Aly.
Video is helpful.
Thank you for your kindness and support.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192
Thanks for the video! I’ve recently realized that befriending wakefulness doesn’t necessarily mean I have to enjoy it or have fun while awake. I found that trying to read or scrolling through Netflix finding nothing of interest just made me more frustrated. After reading more about NATTO and ACT, I’ve started to just rest in bed and ride the wave of uncomfortable feelings. I feel like this is the work that needs to be done, just riding these feelings without resistance until the brain gets tired of sending the signals and sensations. So in a way befriending wakefulness, for me, just became accepting/surrendering to these feelings I can’t control. I should also note, some of these unwanted thoughts and feelings came from CBTI. I’m still working on becoming comfortable with the thought of being awake in bed for longer than 30 minutes…. I feel like my struggle become much worse after I started to believe I could make things worse if I stayed too long in bed.
This is so true and exactly what has helped me too!
You are wonderful. Thank you
I want to thank Aly tremendously I look forward for your videos!! You are amazing at what you do and a great coach!! 😊 Everything you're saying is on point I've experienced it to the t, and I could totally see how it's a kind of anxiety from hell lol. I have researched sleep for decades because I've had this problem for decades. Honestly researching sleep is probably holding me back.. it's an obsession. You all were in the struggle and you all are sleep coaches mm not sure if I should stop..!? Maybe I'll stop after you're series Aly. Between Daniel, Beth and Aly the whole team really you all have been so helpful in understanding this thing.
Cpti was not helpful whatsoever for me. It was a torture on top of torture.
At times to myself I find myself thinking.. or straight up sayin out loud, f*** this who wants to deal with something so finicky and elusive! Something that ebbs and flows, old age and poor sleep.
It' doesn't behave like other bodily drives clearly! Like hunger or thirst. You eat you drink and you move on. It's like a whole mental and physical trip that nobody has time for lol. SMH
I understand and know it's anxiety like no other, but I feel like it's more to the picture.. because it's really everyone at some point in time experiences this phenomenon.
This is what I would say before I started watching Beth and Ali's videos.
I really appreciate the video with Daniel and Nina. Super helpful!!
Really appreciate all of you 😊
PS. I love this, "to win is not to play" thank you Danielle🙏
One thing that helped me with befriending wakefulness is to find something to look forward to in the event that I experience wakefulness, and have it ready. Sometimes its as simple as getting to put on a special pair of fluffy socks, or read a book that I'm excited to read, or I'll save some youtube videos specifically for those times of wakefulness. When I start to feel that fear of wakefulness come up, I think to myself along the lines of, "Well, I would prefer to sleep of course, but I also would love to sit cozy in my fluffy socks and read my book." And I focus on a nice scene of being up in the quiet night experiencing those things. Its such a relief to know that if I can't sleep, I can comfort myself and treat myself to something nice instead of being miserable, even if I would much rather just fall asleep easily. Ironically, that usually gives me peace with the idea of being awake and I fall asleep. But when I don't, I let myself experience those nice things I was looking forward to, and make sure to relish it so that my anxious brain can understand it is safe and even sometimes special to be awake at night.
I realize that I am using befriending wakefulness as a "sleep effort". Despite all the education, nothing changes for my sleep maintenance insomnia. Any suggestion how to reframe for me?
Thank you for all you do.
This insight itself leads where you want to be because when you catch your brain going “okay let’s befriend wakefulness to get some sleep” then it’s like a secret, once revealed it doesn’t exist. Also, anything that isn’t an attempt to force sleep, what feels nice, is befriending wakefulness, it doesn’t have to be something active. Rooting for you
What about health. I worry about my health from not sleeping. I have noticed my memory is bad since this started 2 years ago.
I've been there and used to worry incessantly about my memory and the long term impact of sleeplessness. I learned that anxiety also presents itself with memory recall issues and general brain fog.
I came to accept that my biggest issue was anxiety and the fear of not sleeping..... everything else was just secondary.
Slowly I recovered. From multiple, nightly awakenings with my heart jumping through my chest, to a peaceful relationship with sleep.
The pressure to sleep for the sake of your memory will result in...less sleep. And anxiety will create more memory issues. A vicious circle.
Be kind to yourself. If you don't sleep so well, it's ok. Your memories will still be there and you can absolutely get better over time.
Go well. Wishing you all the best.
@@jamesstacey1742 can you please tell, how many months does it usually take to recover after letting go, I know that it will vary with each person, also I'm not obsessing over when I'm going to get my recovery, I just want to get an idea.
It is a tricky question because as soon as you place a time scale on your recovery, you create pressure on yourself to be well within your predetermined timeframe.
This is not necessary. Instead I will say this. I still have bad nights from time to time. My success is that I do not ruminate or worry about my sleep. I simply put my head on the pillow, relax and bingo, I'm asleep.
It will take a little time to rewire your thinking and there will be ups and downs. But that's ok. You are on track as you are not obsessing. The magic is happening already.
Let it all unfold and detach yourself. Your sleep is already within you. It is not a matter of when it will happen, because it will.
Be kind and compassionate to yourself, you are almost there!
@@jamesstacey1742 Thank you so much for this..
@@jamesstacey1742 thank you.
Also I wanted to share that I can sleep all I want in the afternoon but I just can't sleep at night, even if I skip sleeping in the afternoon, I still can't sleep at night. Maybe my brain has associated night sleep with anxiety. But I'm slowly trying to shift my sleep towards night.
Hi,
Why is it i sleep with ease while taking naps during the day and i find it difficult to fall asleep at night?
Often it’s because we think we are “supposed to” sleep at night and then there’s pressure, but where not “supposed to” sleep daytime so there’s not pressure
Recent videos are of very good quality. Thanks for touching on these important subjects.
Always love your videos Coach Aly!!
The brain doesn't do a good job of recharging itself. One would think it would override this thing/issue to recharge properly. It's all so So bizarre!
It IS such a paradox, it literally wakes itself up because it’s afraid of waking up… so even if we are really tired and sleep we become alert…. But just understanding this is very helpful
Daniel I’m a year and a half into finding you and still hitting speed bumps is this normal? I don’t know if I need to enroll in immunity once and for all or not I just don’t know if I should be fully recovered by now 😢
Great video all these concepts are on point. I found Daniel in a news article while looking for information in how to overcome insomnia. I definitely recommend him and his team of coaches. They are the best!
The title alone takes down another layer of anxiety
I haven't been able to sleep at all (or very little) the past 2 nights, yet when I go to bed I still don't feel sleepy, even if I try melatonin or even antihistamines... in bed my mind is racing over things, why is that?
I'm a bit worried cause usually when I have insomnia I am sleepy and it's my body that's keeping me awake. This is very strange.
I loved this video ❤️ thanks!