[Vinesauce] Joel - Horrible Phone Java Games
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ม.ค. 2019
- The best phone games! О боже, я умру
Date streamed: 28 Jan , 2019
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BREAKING: Confused swedish man dials American embassy on outdated phone, ends up with collection of unlicensed Vodafone games
Fun fact: They were called Panafone at some point.
666 curss
Mobile is the future.
-Konami
Well I guess they weren't completely wrong considering more people flock to the new iPhone than some 11/10 amazing game.
Side note: Fuck Konami
Im fired
-kojima
wheres kojima
- kanye
They weren't wrong, for AEONS Japan and other Asian countries went BALLS DEEP in mobile gaming, and still are. In a country where even bottled water costs a lot, phone games are "free" and everyone can have it.
@@char7403 well technically speaking as of recently they aren't anymore the sales of the iPhone have peaked
Good ol' days. The magazines with a page full of SMS codes for logos, shitty ringtones and janky games.
I still have one with porn sms codes, I just cant find it
and now , instead of SMS codes, it's all QR codes.
ahhh, progress!
I bought a CD full of them and used a computer program to load them all. those SMS companies never stop siphoning money from you.
The nostalgia~
Stanky* games.
I'll be honest, these look higher quality and more enjoyable than most Android play-store "games".
The Assassin's Creed games dudeeeeeeeeee
Well, I feel like these games have a more honest aura to them. They are bad, but you feel like the guys behind them tried their best.
Nowadays, it's so painfully obvious when they shit low-effort/copypasted games out just to make money, it's not even funny. They are just bad.
These were not good, but it wasn't as predatory as like 99% of current mobile games that cram ad after ad or make the game near unplayable without breaking out a credit card
@@APootisBirb There's a lot of quality Japanese mobile games
Garbage day
Oh my god this takes me back to 2009
For me it is 2012. Yes, i was that poor kid with the flip phone. no, i dont wanna date you
Yup. I particularly remember the CoD ones, but by far my favorite phone game was a really downgraded "port" of bioshock. Made waiting for the school bus fun.
Kids nowadays are fucking lucky, it was literally hell just to get a game on your phone. They have Play Store, Apple Store and shit.
**sip**
@@AlyphRat
"I just want to grill for God's sake"
@@aschreeder me too
Swedish man with dementia plays 144p vidya games on a potatoe
What, you got a problem with someone watching video games at 144p?? lol
A vague memory from my past has been awoken.
Oh boy
*Vietnam flashback
The Shrek one, holy shit I got stuck there
I was a porting QA on that Saints Row 2 game. I'm glad you found it ok. :D Realise that the game came out around 2007-2008 so technology was very limited. You should see some of the lower end phone versions, they look like Atari 2600 games. Its pretty laughable someone bootleged it with GTA4. The game was made by THQ Wireless and was contracted out to our porting house.
Well I am glad you commented about it ok.
Wow, it's cool to find the dude who ported Saints Row 2 to old mobile phones watching Joel play a bootlegged version of it.
Sweet, i am a saints fan and i always loved that game and when he had that gta4 load up with purple i knew it was a meme
I had a Java based Touchscreen phone from LG and sadly never found your game.
It looks realy good considering the limitations of the hardware.
aside from that, you should try to port SR2 xbox 360 exclusive DLC to PC before the end of the world LMAO
So that's that fixed version of hunt down the freeman
Black messsssa
SONIC: 'OH, IT'S YOU, TAILS... WHAT'S THE MATTER? HAHA, DON'T TELL ME ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR *EXPREMEPENTS* BACKFIRED ON YOU AGAIN?
Click Beep Beep Beep.
2008: "Hey guys, I don't know about you all.. but I downloaded some dope ass games on my phone, it's way better than even DS games."
2019: *Watching Swedish man destroy it and feeling all the shame.*
No regrets, this was the best Joel stream I've seen in at least a month. Pure Fire.
The reason you're getting crap resolution is because jar/sis games back then didn't auto adjust themselves to fill the entire screen, you can fix this by changing the phone model in the emulator settings I believe.
Thanks tesla
2:48 - Call of Duty Modern For
6:35 - Grand Theft Auto IV + Saints Row 2 (Mix)
12:00 - Shitty Shrek Game
15:10 - Sonic Jump
21:28 - Sonic the Hedgehog
24:20 - Giana Sisters
30:50 - super mario bross 1 (just the same shit as Giana Sisters but in German)
35:22 - The Best Movie (Russian)
41:30 - Garfif Train Your Brain
46:16 - Mortal Kombat 3D
48:42 - Half-Life
50:50 - Mortal Kombat 3D (fixed)
54:40 - Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels (Take a guess)
59:20 - Minecraft
1:06:34 - Mass Effect
1:08:30 - Half-Life (fixed)
1:13:00 - Assassin's Creed Revelations
1:15:20 - Poke Go
1:18:00 - Nyan Cat
1:19:50 - Portal 2
1:21:10 - Os Sims 3
1:24:15 - The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning
1:27:45 - Counter-Strike 2010
1:31:40 - Old Game Reviews (Goldeneye and DKC)
Just wait until Jobel finds out that there are J2ME emulators for GBC games.
Double the emulation crust!
MeBoy was rocking!!!
As a Russian I have to say that "Best movie" thing is the most awful thing that was created by human being. Best comparison for Westerners I can come up with is "Freddy got fingered". But thing is "Best movie" actually send guy who created one of the children's stop motion animations back in USSR to hospital on premiere day because of what they did to his characters in this "film", it was *THAT BAD*
A Russian Freddy Got Fingered? Mama mia...
It’s a parody film, so looks closer to English films like Date Movie. That’s probably why the English title was localized to have ”Movie” in the title
any idea why avgn was in the movies game?
Freddy got fingered is a classic though
@@Dogy0909 A bit late but no. "The Best Movie" is the literal, word for word translation of the title.
i love it when joel speaks up close to the mic it gives me the tingles and feeds my muscles
*feeds my mooscles
When u had no GBA or any other portable console but your parent's cellphone...
Why gba why not ds or 3ds or switch
@@Jay-uu5lu >12 fucking years old
But Yowl. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. It was gaming in the Clinton Years! Navgtr is a visionary.
The old Retsuprae Navgtr videos were fucking gold
@@maxwellisunwell What if Laura Croft had cancer?
I have genuine nostalgia for Java mobile games and no one can convince me they weren't good
Edit: These are not the ones I played as a kid lol
I played pacman and this diner game.Wait also a pool one
same
"You piss on Doctors and Mummies? As a little Piss Baby??"
I LOVE THE WAY HE SAID THAT LMAO
That mario game really gave off some HET vibes
нет
What Mario game?
|-|3+
36:09 - Okay, now THIS game is epic
PieNinjaProductions they are horrible “comedians “ here in russia, they made the game around their “jokes”
@@leeeeeee2796 О боже
36:50 "Postal Dude: The Early Years"
31:30 yo that's good German bro
На пути к ядру Лямбды means On the way to the Lambda core. I know how to read Cyrillic. At around the 49 minute mark. Since it is said 3 times, maybe it is linked to the Half-life 3 joke.
Call of duty
Modern for
Duty
Ern war
Force reco
why does your profile picture looks like anonymous asexual ahegao
I know huh? Duty Ern war is my favorite phone game.
hi daddy do more lewd plz
ןnzɐןǝ it's Sydney from Payday 2
No it's Call of Duty Modern Warfare Force Recon
3:59 Call Of Duty: Modern For
6:59 Grand Theft Saints Row VI
15:44 Sonic Jump
21:56 Sonic 1
24:37 Mario Bros [multiple times]
36:18 Baby piss time (The Best Movie (Russian))
42:45 Garie : Train your brain
46:31 , 51:01 Mortol Kombat
48:51, 1:08:42 Half-Life's shitty brother
54:54 Mario bros FUCKING AGAIN
59:32 Minecraft
1:00:53 Half-Life 2: Citadel Storm
1:06:42 Mass Effect
1:12:19 God Of War
1:13:14 Assassins Creed: Revelations
1:15:43 Poke GO
1:18:03 Nyan Kat
1:19:57 Portal 2
1:21:34 Sims 3
1:24:37 The Legend Of Spyro: A New Beginning
1:27:59 Counter Strike 2010
hello gamzee
:o)
360p is the perfect resolution for this stream.
That's a little too high quality.
Oh God, this takes me back to 2007-10 when I used to download a ton of pirated .jar games from Pepperonity on my Sony Ericsson W380i, most of them were Gameloft Games like Asphalt, NOVA and Gangstar and to be honest...
*I really really reeeeeally enjoyed those games. A LOT*
Good times tho.
Same
Man, NOVA was as close to Halo as phones were gonna get at the time.. Remember playin that a good bit
Asphalt 4 was my favourite
Hey, do you still have your .jar collection by any chance? I want to see if I can get a big collection going for these since they are becoming more forgotten. :/
This version of Giana sisters may just be the worst Mario bootleg I’ve ever seen.
They just ripped off giana's levels with ripped off Mario's gfx with sh*tty MIDI
I'm pretty sure it's a port of the old ripoff, but modded to have Mario sprites
Super Giana Bros :)
Why the heck do these games feel so cursed?
Because they are. They were created in the lowest depths of hell by Satan himself.
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Buy Skyrim
Because flip phone quality.
Joel doesn't know doodle jump
There's NES and GBC emulators for those type of phones! And you can play the two Kid Icarus games with them... But now, all the games are on 3DS!
What? Java games can be played on 3ds?
Imagine how stanky that emulation must have been.
@@garok2412 *cough* he means nes games
@@garok2412 I'm probably missing a joke here, but no.
@Poble NESCUBE sounds like an NES emulator for the GameCube.
Doom RPG was the best cell phone game I have played
That, the second one and the Wolfenstein one were the best java games
Can't get that anymore, sadly never finished that
Glorious era when i played Worms in my phone at the school with my friends, good old times.
I will always remember the spongebob phone game where you made crabby patties.
I feel like I need this
Anyone remember the splinter cell flip phone games? Those were fun
Wait... Yugoslavia does exist!
I already miss it :(
That's the third time I see a guy with the same userpic in different comment sections today.
I'm scared.
@@protomato6427 Join us Ivan!
@Ludo Leva Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
@Ludo Leva Oh yes
JOEL ARE YOU PLAYING CRAPPY GAMES AGAIN?
Amazing anybody could play more than 2 minutes of these.
There you are again! Almost every YT video I see
sonic has passed
Joel's voice acting for Sonic was perfect, lol.
I can't believe I play app games on my mom's flip phone....
Waifu Croc that is indeed a waifu croc
I use to go to Nickelodeon on my moms Wi-Fi capable flip phone to play games that make these look like masterpieces..... horrible times
@@thegirlwiththemouseyhair6486 A lovely Waifu Croc, at that.
so ppl are just assuming Susie is a crocodile? she has SHARP teeth, that makes her an Alligator, if she's even that type of reptile.
round teeth are crocs.
have a nice day .
Crazy Luigi thanks?
Enter your name:
dad
36:08 Игра по Самому лучшему Фильму у Джоэля на стриме.
What a time to be alive.
joel has poopoo pant
DUDE, SPOILERS!
Luan
:o
No u
@@richardc.mongler1029 do it coward
"Get ready for the Sims on a flip phone" "I'm not in the mood to play Sims tonight" Then why'd you launch it to begin with, Joel lol
Java version of Sonic 1 is legitimately better in every way than a GBA port.
This is already taking me back to my babby days when I used to play mobile games. And I actually enjoyed them. Ugh.
To be fair you were like 2
@@Sickcrazyneet How old are you insisting I currently am?
@@genesischris1297 uh, that was a joke reply
@@Sickcrazyneet In the distance you hear a sound effect... *woooosssshhhh*
Ay man I remember a sick block breaker game and a decent port of ghosts and goblins so they weren't all bad
2:50 Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: Force Recon
6:40 Grand theft auto IV + Saints row 2 (mix)
12:32 (Tilted Shrek :^) )
13:48 Shrek Forever After: The Mobile Game
15:20 Sonic Jump
21:40 Sonic the Hedgehog
24:35 Giana sisters
31:21 Super mario bross (Giana sisters [german])
36:05 Samy luchshiy film - The best movie (russian)
42:05 Garfield: Train Your Brain
46:30 ; 50:50 Mortal kombat 3D
48:50 ; 1:03:00 ; 1:08:35 Half Life
54:50 Giana sisters II (Super mario bros lost levels)
59:23 Minecraft (broken)
1:00:10 Winzip half life
1:00:40 ; 1:10:38 Half Life 2: Citadel Storm
1:02:05 ; 1:05:20 ; 1:11:13 Half Life Arena (Counter-Strike mod)
1:06:35 Mass effect mod
1:11:40 Heavenly skateboard
1:12:15 God of war Betreyal
1:12:50 Revelations (Assassin Creed Revelations)
1:14:55 Poke Go
1:18:00 Nyan cat mobile (russian)
1:19:50 Portal 2 (russian)
1:20:50 Counter Terrorism 3d (broken/didn't start)
1:21:15 Sims 3
1:23:20 Crash bandicoot all
1:24:25 The Legend Of Spyro A New Beginning
1:27:55 Counter Strike- 2010
I always love when Joel is trying to read german stuff. Actually his pronunciation often surprisingly accurate :D
Well i guess Swedish people have a thing for german
@@dreaminginvalhalla1914
They are germanic people so it shouldn't surprise you here.
JAVA DE HUUUUUTT
JAVA
(Wait, they don't know about that, do they?)
Oh fuck 2012
Java Games >>>>> iOS, Android Games
Yea
Agreed, although most mobile games are trash, I will definitely pick them over those soulless abominable Android/iOS games any day.
What? You're saying you wouldn't play Raid Shadow Legends? Everyones talking about it, it has 5 stars and the best part its free so what are you waiting for?
God no.
*failure is not an option*
DEAR GOD, I played the demo of Sims 3 on my Motorola every time I pooped. I destroyed everything and everyone cause i knew it would reset 😹
22:17 Fest
Chili dogs
*Thats no good*
56:24 *S A D D O N G B O Y Z*
I remember playing about 10 seconds of that mobile CoD as a kid
Lmao same
yeah, other versions were a lot better
Oooh boy. I remember playing games like Brother in Arms, a somehow bad Silent Hill game, Guitar Hero knock-offs, a Banjo-Kazooie 'port', the Sonic game with the edgy werehog, and Line Rider.
There's also that Deep 3D submarine game, and Galaxy on Fire 3D (which got a sequel on Android/iOS and PC. THAT game).
Oh, and GB emulator that I want to forget because I encountered a pre-Pokeball shiny
SpeedHacked yeah i had guitar hero on the LG chocolate and it was pretty fun
"A somehow bad Silent Hill game"
Over had of the games in the series are garbage. Only the original 4 are good
nowhere is a good java game
Up next:
DVD menu minigame madness.
God i really want the MIDI that plays during the GTA one
th-cam.com/video/ZOqGUBoOfLU/w-d-xo.html
Pretty sure I have it, do you still want it?
@@dnkakusei Yes please
@@raphael-ov9py Here's the DL link; this might not actually be the same MIDI but it's still a really solid cover of the Vice City opening theme - drive.google.com/file/d/1fj78QnzofiyPyrIZtCRHDAbPsXhiOppC/view?usp=sharing
56:50 the stream's "Joel gets meaner every day" moment
_Saints Row 2 on mobile..._
*_Uses Loren's picture for Johnny Gat dialogue_*
*Seems legit.*
Every kid in 2007 wanted a flip phone. Why aren't there flip phones anymore? They were fucking amazing dude
>Joel struggling with an emulator for 1 hour
I actually remember playing that Shrek and Sonic game on my dad's old nokia phone. Times were simple back then.
Oh my god the Sonic Jump one sent me way back in time when I played this nonstop... Time flies
*RAMIREZ*
RAMIREZ GET TO THE BURGER TOWN
ATTACK THAT HELICOPTER WITH YOUR KNIFE
Wow this VOD unlocked in me forgotten memories when I was downloading java games for my old Sony Ericson and I played every game Joel showcased
Never in my life have I thought "I'll see that shitty Assassin's Creed phone game again some day." but I did, thank you Joblo.
One big circle one big circle one big circle.........
Exreaman, Best poop stuff.
boo, ponys :3
@@soullesspinkamenapinkamena1747 go away
Mean!
27:18
“Aren’t you Maria?”
I
SH
FOREVE
-THE MOB
Super Ko boxing is THE game of the Flipnote century
Cute croc owo
@@HardeQx What's this
Your profile picture is fan art for Night in the Woods, right?
yellowcrash10 yep
55:45 I remember playing this version of the Giana Sisters Mario bootleg, i actually got pretty far into this game.
I remember getting stuck in level 7 for a long time, but then i found a way around it, only to get stuck again on level 13 because of a bug that would kill me instantly every time i spawned on checkpoint.
I never finished the game, and i can't play it again because the old phone that have it is broken... but it's probably for the better.
39:56 THE PROPHECY
IT WAS TRUE
Sonic *CLICK BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Is this what Krillin did after being killed in that explosion? Digging out odd Java games for Uncle Jobel to play?
not funny
Fun fact: There is actually an archive of tiger electronic games on the internet archive.
Please do a full play through of the Giana sisters one
Let's *NOT* subject Joel to that kind of torture.
Takes me back I remember playing one of the sonic and Sims games when i was in first grade
“Remember when you collected keys in counter strike?”
Regretfully.
Oh man, I remember playing The Sims 3 and some deer hunting game on my phone. Even though I thought the Sims one was garbage, for some reason I thought the deer hunting one was okay
The Sonic 1 green hills midi reminded me of that video of the hedgehog running on the piano keys
Navigator is the hero we need in the gamer hellmare dystopia of 2019.
Well, I mean, we still have Yahtzee.
Daaaaaamn.. So many memories of playing "Hitman 47" on my N70 at the back of the class while I miss out on my childhood.. Symbian was such a great OS btw, ahead of it's time.
This brings back memories. There was a splinter cell double agent version I used to play, good times...
1:24:37 Good Lord! I remember playing that spyro game on my old nokia phone when i was a kid! Oh the memories! :'D
A Giana Sisters Bootleg disguised as a Mario Bootleg? This is twice, nay thrice the bootleg in just one game!
I still play games like these LOL.
Also if you will do part 2, try crazy penguin catapult. Or blood+. Or postal mobile. Or uhh idfk, forgotten warrior maybe.
Shitposting Prick shiiiiiiiieeeeeeet I remember blood+
Челокек Человек Ikr, I love how nobody remember crazy penguin catapult tho.
@@DionneDion i do remember , i played it on a sony ericsson xperia x8 , the days man
nicolae alexandru Ah, great to hear. I still play that game via an emulator since I still love it.
Postal Babes, too. Also nice pfp
I remember playing all of this games...Ahh what a great time
I remember four flip phone games that I used to play on a Sony Ericsson flip phone.
The first two were NY Nights or something, and a game that I nicknamed "Octo-Squidy" while it's actual name was "Aqua Pod" or something. That was on the z520 Flip Phone that my parents used to have back in maybe 2006 to 2008.
The other two games that I remembered were Sims 2 and as I called the other game "Futuristic Octo-Squidy" because it looked so much like the other game I played before. That was on the Sony Ericsson Walkman W380 Flip Phone that my Mom owned back then as a upgrade, she actually got three of them, two Purple ones and a Black one.
I actually used to play some of these games back in the 2000s. Kinda nostalgic
I still have a Java based phone, and I fucking hate when I buy something in a store, and they go "we offer mobile payments now". I have to tell them I can't pay with my phone, they go "but the app is easy to install", and I have to tell them "trust me, it won't work".
Oh boi 24 seconds right after upload
That picture at the beginning of the stream makes me think they would make great Amiibos lol
I’m ready to play some phone games joel
I actually played games featured on 21:45 and 32:40 on my phone. I still have the 1st one installed, and it was the game I played to the end. Developers stated that they got only 1st sonic episode "ported", and it was like that (there were only 9 first levels). Also, German Mario Bros had a lot more different powerups. What's more interesting is that the last powerup you get is a star that is actually one-up, and than the cycle began again: bomb (press 0 to clear the screen out of most enemies, single-use only), waterdrop (I don't remember what it was for), and the star again. Also, after the fireflower you got homing shots, as far as I remember. Also, there were things that lakitu is supposed to be throwing, and a secret exit from 3rd to 7th level, and pretty much other things that should appear in a Mario game - other enemies, and a Bowser, too. Though it had it's problems, that bug that was revealed at the stream actually happened a lot, and the solution was to quickly press and unpress the button of which direction you're moving. Also, you cannot scroll left, only right, and sometimes you can just softlock the game.
1:21:37 I don’t know why, but the music sounds very good.
Saints
Row
2(Mix