Exactly. If you over offer and make yourself completely available to him, there's no sense of tension and it doesn't pull them in. It's cruel but I've learned now.
What I learned from my past mistakes is to never rush or stress about getting into a relationship. It will always go south. It's not about playing a game it's about leading with logic, not emotion. But it should come naturally otherwise it will be work. So slowing down is the best. Let the man lead and not put any pressure on it and see how much effort he is putting in. If he is not planning or leading then that's when you exit.
He just told me he wanted me to text him every morning. I laughed inside and said yes. I remembered you saying if he asked you to do that just nod yes and don’t!!
My mother told me pretty is what pretty dose. I'm finally getting it. Charming is what Charming does. Validate his charming behavior in moderation. Don't "validate" his charming physical future.
You know I'm not into playing hard to get, I don't want to be inauthentic. But it's totally fine to ask myself if I really want to jump out of my pants for a man I barely know. I also don't want to create a mess in my schedule, don't want to wait for someone who doesn't bother to plan ahead with me. I allowed myself to be honest with myself when I feel that I'm not ready or not sure about him. I realized that I tend to be nice and agreeable because of deep seated fear. And that's not the kind of motivation I want in the relationship.
List to create uncertainty : not making things easy to see me, not giving my number immediately , not talking about my feelings ( if he has my heart then he will stop any effort) , do not telling your issues or problems about the relationship , posting enigmatic photos on social media to create mystery
Bro you are a gem ❤💎. I'm blessed with your channel. Your tips are always good and working as compared to other coaches on you tube ❤ you are a saviour 🎉
I have watched many TH-cam channels, but your advices and the the way you explains make it easier. Thanks 🎉 it is important to understand male psychology.
Instead of playing the game of saying no to giving your # (if you like the guy): instead ask “oh my number? What are you gonna do with it?” That way he will tell you his intentions without your pressure
I’m a woman, and this makes perfect sense to me. That’s why I never had experience with men that manipulate, abuse, or flashy but instead those that want commitment. I always tell my girlfriends similar advice and they all thought it’s ’playing games’ but still til now they are not able to break out of the circle of chasing men and get hurt and not being pursued. The more you focus and can respect yourself the more others will. When times come when a man actually pursue you enough and give enough efforts It will not be too late to reciprocate and then invest back. I can imagine a pain of over giving yourself either emotionally or physically are worst than being single. Try it ladies. Don’t over give, don’t rush, you will love and be loved.
Nah fam, I will not be playing games with a man. I don’t want a man to be playing games with me and I want men to have good relationships too. Let’s be kind and genuine with each other
Tomisin can you do a video on what types of guys to avoid and why? The last guy I dated, when I got myself out of it, I realized he’s the definition of a true narcissist. I’m now trying to learn what types of guys to avoid, so that my time and emotions are not wasted 😢
Ladies this is alot to keep up with…learn to be feminine playful confident and have a very high sense of self! You’ll do all of this be default. Less exhausting
No thanks i never had to do bs like this lol just be yourself. Right guys comes to me and the weirdo ones that needs you to post game playing sneaky shit on social media is not type i would want. In the end we just want people that gives us peace and feels like home
How do you deny the phone number if you don’t have any social media other than TH-cam and WhatsApp (which still gives out your number) 🤣🤣 no instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat nothing. What’s another way I can make him work for it?
Imagine a world that people want people for the real person in them no games no manipulation The true value is somebody to want you for the real raw you Otherwise you living a lie
I appreciate your videos a lot, I wouldn't think of it from a psychologically correct point of view, but I understand in order to play the game right and create the tension it has some truth to it... I'm just always wondering: (1) What about long distance and when you don't have that opportunity to meet as often in person because it's a 6 hours drive? Or: (2) Aren't all the men nowadays TOO impatient, they don't wanna spend months, are too afraid to be initiative, persuing, for fear of rejection? Really wondering
Can we just say men don’t fall in love at all? Because I don’t think they do. I don’t believe in love. Love is a fairytale for me. Fairytales are not real. Let’s get real.
ok i’ve been detaching myself little by little from the guy i’ve been talking to so he can actually chase me and it did work bc the day i didn’t text him all day he asked if i was mad & jokingly “woww so u hate me” i assured him i was just busy & everything seemed good and then 2 days later he turned off his read receipts all of a sudden, is that a bad thing or is he fr bothered? HELP
He’s bothered and going to manipulate you and try to hurt your feelings for making him feel bothered. You’ll see that some people match energy then go a step further
He sounds kind of mean and vengeful. Don't you think? Don't know ! A mean reactor not a good thing. Perhaps it's not his usual way maybe he's just nervous. Don't know. But you can usually tell if someone is kind instinctively.
u all were very much right!! and i cut him off today (we go to the same gym & we saw each other so i cut it off in person) i def need to switch gyms lmao
Don’t bend over backwards to make it convenient for them to see you. Don’t confess all the ways that you like him, if he’s all that perfect he doesn’t need to better for you or to behave good to you. Don’t post everything in social media
I don’t agree with this advice. I’m not giving a Strange dude my Instagram because I don’t want him all up in my stories and liking my stuff and making comments and seeing who my people are. That’s way more personal than my phone number.👀
If one has to play like that to make someone feel emotions, than who has energy for that? It’s kindergarten games. But,In all honesty, I have made all the mistakes you talk about. 😢 I guess my guy is forever lost to me. No wonder his mind is elsewhere. I made him feel too comfortable. Goes to show I got no experience in dating. It's true, I don't. I havevthe age to show, but no true experience. Am I lost cause?
@ABC-jq7ve I'm too scared, honestly. I'm older and really have no more energy for anyone. I guess I'm better off remaining single for the rest of my life.
Thinking the same was married got betrayed now wanted to get into a relationship but once he said yes to X after 2 months of talking just this week he seems dis tant no more early greetings poems .... he was chasing me since September. These men r not nice, I matched his energy now he is acting distant I asked him if he wants space but didn't answer.
I would love a video on how to approach / what to say / how to friggin make a move on someone quite much older or younger. Because the older one (usually) wont believe the younger one could be interested, and the younger one is maybe perhaps just a little shy😅 for example 😊
Your videos are way to long. Instead of uploading your streams just clip the important parts. Hardly anyone has the attention span to watch a 3hr video in full
But what if they are not a stranger Scenario 1 gym guy I’ve been speaking to at gym for a year ? Scenario 2 work collogue I’ve known for 6 months But I’m going to go with it better get insta 🤭
For personal relationship advice GO HERE!! www.playersclubshow.com/store-1/p/private-relationship-question
Basically detach . live your life. The right one will come
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Supply and demand. If its made easy for him, its no challenge and therefore won't interest him. Its not a game, it's psychology
Not really men will play games anytime
Exactly. If you over offer and make yourself completely available to him, there's no sense of tension and it doesn't pull them in. It's cruel but I've learned now.
What I learned from my past mistakes is to never rush or stress about getting into a relationship. It will always go south. It's not about playing a game it's about leading with logic, not emotion. But it should come naturally otherwise it will be work. So slowing down is the best. Let the man lead and not put any pressure on it and see how much effort he is putting in. If he is not planning or leading then that's when you exit.
He just told me he wanted me to text him every morning. I laughed inside and said yes. I remembered you saying if he asked you to do that just nod yes and don’t!!
Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉
My mother told me pretty is what pretty dose. I'm finally getting it. Charming is what Charming does.
Validate his charming behavior in moderation. Don't "validate" his charming physical future.
At this point, I’ll stay single. Who has time to play all of these games 💔🙄
Time? It’s actually gives you more free time. Petty excuse so maybe the lazy should stay single 😂😂
MEN. THATS ALL THEY DO IS PLAY 😂😂😂😂
Not all of them. Discernment is key. @@empressleah_speaks
No. Learn the games they play. Move smarter.
lol right
Dude I love your sense of humor 😂 and all of your content! Keep teaching us!
You know I'm not into playing hard to get, I don't want to be inauthentic. But it's totally fine to ask myself if I really want to jump out of my pants for a man I barely know.
I also don't want to create a mess in my schedule, don't want to wait for someone who doesn't bother to plan ahead with me.
I allowed myself to be honest with myself when I feel that I'm not ready or not sure about him. I realized that I tend to be nice and agreeable because of deep seated fear. And that's not the kind of motivation I want in the relationship.
I’m so happy I’m fucking single
💯
List to create uncertainty : not making things easy to see me, not giving my number immediately , not talking about my feelings ( if he has my heart then he will stop any effort) , do not telling your issues or problems about the relationship , posting enigmatic photos on social media to create mystery
I’m going to go out on a limb and compliment you on what a great video this was.
Bro you are a gem ❤💎. I'm blessed with your channel. Your tips are always good and working as compared to other coaches on you tube ❤ you are a saviour 🎉
I have watched many TH-cam channels, but your advices and the the way you explains make it easier. Thanks 🎉 it is important to understand male psychology.
Been dying for this episode
Instead of playing the game of saying no to giving your # (if you like the guy): instead ask “oh my number? What are you gonna do with it?” That way he will tell you his intentions without your pressure
Fantastic discussion
Excellent analysis
Thank you Sir
I wish love was secure n easy n loyal, these many mindgames suckkkk, i wish love was natural n everlasting 😢😢😢😢
Very thought provoking, great content🎉
Another great video! Loved it. I appreciate the deep details you give for every point you make. Thanks a bunch!
😂you’re impressions crack me up
Tomisin, what a great name. You can thank your parents for that!
“The kids love vibes nowadays.” 🥴🤣
I’m a woman, and this makes perfect sense to me. That’s why I never had experience with men that manipulate, abuse, or flashy but instead those that want commitment. I always tell my girlfriends similar advice and they all thought it’s ’playing games’ but still til now they are not able to break out of the circle of chasing men and get hurt and not being pursued.
The more you focus and can respect yourself the more others will. When times come when a man actually pursue you enough and give enough efforts It will not be too late to reciprocate and then invest back. I can imagine a pain of over giving yourself either emotionally or physically are worst than being single. Try it ladies. Don’t over give, don’t rush, you will love and be loved.
Nah fam, I will not be playing games with a man. I don’t want a man to be playing games with me and I want men to have good relationships too. Let’s be kind and genuine with each other
Tomisin can you do a video on what types of guys to avoid and why? The last guy I dated, when I got myself out of it, I realized he’s the definition of a true narcissist. I’m now trying to learn what types of guys to avoid, so that my time and emotions are not wasted 😢
Thankyou sir, sending love from India
You are so funny!!! 😂😂😂😂
Lol this is so neurotic 😂😅
Can we have a video on how to pull back power of you’ve made these mistakes please
Lmao,tomisin is so funny
Trust the process 😊
Ladies this is alot to keep up with…learn to be feminine playful confident and have a very high sense of self! You’ll do all of this be default. Less exhausting
So he will leave as soon as I'm available to him. Hard pass.
No thanks i never had to do bs like this lol just be yourself. Right guys comes to me and the weirdo ones that needs you to post game playing sneaky shit on social media is not type i would want. In the end we just want people that gives us peace and feels like home
I would really appreciate it if you could post your videos/audios on Spotify❤️
Omg yes !!
Women: What do you want?
Men: It’s not that simple.
I have BPD the uncertainty comes naturally 😬
How do you deny the phone number if you don’t have any social media other than TH-cam and WhatsApp (which still gives out your number) 🤣🤣 no instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat nothing. What’s another way I can make him work for it?
A guy who responds well to uncertainty is probably not ready for commitment.
I think he means just in very early stages
Imagine a world that people want people for the real person in them no games no manipulation The true value is somebody to want you for the real raw you Otherwise you living a lie
I appreciate your videos a lot, I wouldn't think of it from a psychologically correct point of view, but I understand in order to play the game right and create the tension it has some truth to it... I'm just always wondering: (1) What about long distance and when you don't have that opportunity to meet as often in person because it's a 6 hours drive? Or: (2) Aren't all the men nowadays TOO impatient, they don't wanna spend months, are too afraid to be initiative, persuing, for fear of rejection?
Really wondering
Can we just say men don’t fall in love at all? Because I don’t think they do. I don’t believe in love. Love is a fairytale for me. Fairytales are not real. Let’s get real.
ok i’ve been detaching myself little by little from the guy i’ve been talking to so he can actually chase me and it did work bc the day i didn’t text him all day he asked if i was mad & jokingly “woww so u hate me” i assured him i was just busy & everything seemed good and then 2 days later he turned off his read receipts all of a sudden, is that a bad thing or is he fr bothered? HELP
He’s bothered and going to manipulate you and try to hurt your feelings for making him feel bothered. You’ll see that some people match energy then go a step further
Keep ignoring and living your best life. If he wants you he’ll chase. If not, just move on to a better one
He sounds kind of mean and vengeful. Don't you think? Don't know ! A mean reactor not a good thing. Perhaps it's not his usual way maybe he's just nervous. Don't know. But you can usually tell if someone is kind instinctively.
you're worried about the wrong thing. if I were you id keep it moving and keep yourself busy
u all were very much right!! and i cut him off today (we go to the same gym & we saw each other so i cut it off in person) i def need to switch gyms lmao
What if the damage is done.
😢
Move on and get yourself a better man with the knowledge you have now
Next
I have repaired the damage (and reinstated uncertainty) by removing myself and playing it cool for a good long time.
Withdraw ❤
Not the Shlong 😂
Like Michael Jackson 😆
😂😂😂
Don’t bend over backwards to make it convenient for them to see you.
Don’t confess all the ways that you like him, if he’s all that perfect he doesn’t need to better for you or to behave good to you.
Don’t post everything in social media
I don’t agree with this advice. I’m not giving a Strange dude my Instagram because I don’t want him all up in my stories and liking my stuff and making comments and seeing who my people are. That’s way more personal than my phone number.👀
I agree, I give them my number and then I could decide to block them if I no longer want to keep contact
I don’t have social media 😭
Don’t bend over backwards to make it convenient for them to see you.
Don’t confess all the ways that you like him
Tomisin, you are an aspiring stand up comedian, right?
This won't work on someone avoidant tho right?
if theyre avoidant LEAVE GIRL😭😭😭
Why do you want an avoidant or a narcissist or a head puzzle man. You deserve way better even if you don't know yet. But, yes, it works with ALL MEN.😅
Avoidant won't ask for number in first place??
honestly they’ll probably think about you, but if you think they’ll chase.. absolutely not.
Don’t go for an avoidant man. Making other people chase and do the hard work is their game
If one has to play like that to make someone feel emotions, than who has energy for that? It’s kindergarten games. But,In all honesty, I have made all the mistakes you talk about. 😢 I guess my guy is forever lost to me. No wonder his mind is elsewhere. I made him feel too comfortable. Goes to show I got no experience in dating. It's true, I don't. I havevthe age to show, but no true experience. Am I lost cause?
Move on to a better man. At least you have the knowledge now
@ABC-jq7ve I'm too scared, honestly. I'm older and really have no more energy for anyone. I guess I'm better off remaining single for the rest of my life.
Thinking the same was married got betrayed now wanted to get into a relationship but once he said yes to X after 2 months of talking just this week he seems dis tant no more early greetings poems .... he was chasing me since September. These men r not nice, I matched his energy now he is acting distant I asked him if he wants space but didn't answer.
The right guy wouldn't have left. You haven't met your man yet. ❤
@@AMMA92244you never been married?
I understand all of this, but it's just too much. Just live life. A partner is a plus. People are too inauthentic these days.
How can I be sure you aren't slyly trying to help men Tomisin?
How do we deal with emotionally unavailable men? 😣
We don't.
You don't.
You don't.
Ignore them
We don’t.
I would love a video on how to approach / what to say / how to friggin make a move on someone quite much older or younger. Because the older one (usually) wont believe the younger one could be interested, and the younger one is maybe perhaps just a little shy😅 for example 😊
creepy aah comment
@iwantabiscuitplz why ? 🤗 all adults ofcourse, if thats what you imply?
What if you are a content creator or it’s your profession?
You speak to women like they are 2 year olds- don't mock women and how you think they speak in your videos, makes you look arrogant.
❤
Your videos are way to long. Instead of uploading your streams just clip the important parts. Hardly anyone has the attention span to watch a 3hr video in full
You’re not the target audience. I like long videos.
@@caitlinannegreysame
@caitlinannegrey exactly cause I watch the whole 3 to 4 hours everytime! 😂
@@caitlinannegrey When you work and study you don't have time to watch a movie long video
@@darlingspade9653we don’t care
But what if they are not a stranger
Scenario 1 gym guy I’ve been speaking to at gym for a year ?
Scenario 2 work collogue I’ve known for 6 months
But I’m going to go with it better get insta 🤭