Why Black Gay Men End up Old and Alone 👴🏾
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ธ.ค. 2020
- This is a Facebook recording about the various reasons why Black gay men end up old and alone and what can be done about it. I even include new solutions towards advancing the fight against the HIV/AIDS epidemic.
Visit my website www.myspiritualbff.com to schedule a session with me or to learn more about me.
Throwing Shade is a symptom of PTSD.
This is an excellent observation! I agree. I also believe that shade is a defense mechanism that is ultimately a repellant of intimacy, platonic or otherwise.
@@spiritualbff-yourgoodju-ju8781 👏 👏 👏
Omg this was explained so perfectly! As a straight woman I would never have thought about this but I was always so curious about why gay black men never seem to settle down.
So, thank you for addressing this topic. I believe you have several valid points, however some of the things you said need to be flushed out further. I am a GBM, about to be 59 in a few months. I live in NYC where HIV and AIDS hit the hardest. What you need to understand is we lost a huge percentage of our generation in the 80-90s, and due to drug use, alcoholism, depression and other mental health issues we continue to lose. My dating pool at this time is a wide bucket. If I want to continue to exclusively dating Black men (which is my preference) then I have to date younger. Its not because I want to be predatory, its a numbers game. Naturally that has its issues as well. In my experience some of the younger gays are struggling with identity issues, they are either "too" gay or not gay enough. Balance and natural comfort with ones self tend to be missing. All of my friends of my age group are in long-term relationships with white or non-Black men. I just don't want to cross that divide and so I hold out hope for the right Black love for me.
You will make a good social worker . Spiritual BFF We need more black gay social workers .
This is so true regarding the immature behavior in adulthood. I meet so many black gay men in their mid to late 30’s who have such a school boy mentality around dating and relationships. I can’t even be bothered to go into the details but if you’re older and experienced, you just know.
This video FLEW by. Thoroughly enjoyed it. You are so intelligent and also stunning. Seeing how aware you are within your own essence is truly inspiring to me as a 25 year old gay Black man learning how to navigate my identity, masculinity and Blackness in the Black gay world and society at large. Thank you.
THIS WAS AN AMZING VIDEO. I’m crying. Thank you for this
Your message is spot on.
Thank u. You have named so much of the pain i see in my day to day life with myself and with my community. I loved the section where u talk about how we can move forward because it gives me hope and I haven't had much of that in a while. Much love
It’s the advise, awareness, and eyeshadow for me ♥️
This was amazing! I hope you continue to do this work and also write a book one day! Brilliant.
OMG I’m crying listening to this!!! All facts !!!
Very True . Been in the Social work profession for 22 years i am glad this issue is being addressed.
This certainly hits home for me. You’re beautiful and you have a beautiful mind. Thank you for your insight.
You're welcome! I appreciate you for taking the time to listen.
Thank you for the video Sam
Thank you for your video young man everything that you speaking on is the truth I'm 59 years old I came up in the AIDS pandemic and I've been positive for over 30 some years and I just want to thank you for your video
This hit home from me in a big way it felt like you had a camera and watched my life growing up. I’m coming into myself now at 28 and I love it.
I'm glad you could relate! I just turned 30 and, to be honest, I feel like my life is truly just getting started.
@@spiritualbff-yourgoodju-ju8781 I’m 28 and I feel the same way. Like this year I’ve become more aware and authentic and even comfortable within myself
@@AbstruseDaPoet Very that! Congratulations to us for living our truth and not allowing the past to make us bitter or stunt our growth (at least permenantly) 🥂✨
This is spot on
You are on point!!!!!!!!!!!
great knowledge you presented
Thank you! Was there anything in particular that resonated with you most?
the difference between emotional/ mental age. the last few years i’ve been working to get the two to match 😂
Thank you
Hey cutie love this vid.
9 reasons why anyone ends up old and alone:
1. Fear of commitment
2. Overly judgmental of others
3. Vanity followed by fading beauty
4. Inability to be a true friend
5. Shallowness and superficiality
6. Not healing from past trauma
7. Lack of honesty and respect
8. Blaming and shaming others
9. Not getting real with the self
@@josephlawson1960 I want people to get lost and mind their own business. That's how I feel sometimes. Now I need a favor from someone, and no one is around.
You look like my mom
I wish I had a friend like you when I was in highschool ❤️
I am 60 yr old white man and guys my age are looking for younger. Sometimes i may meet a guy for some fun. But i accept the lonelines.
I'm sorry to hear that this is a problem that extends to your community as well.
Make more videos
So cute
Is there a way to like the video but also hate it because it's hitting me right in the face? Because I like the video but it's hitting me right in the face. Not an American, Black French? French Black? Dunnow. I'm depressed have been for quite a while, on 420 everyday, after work, avoiding something, not sure what, probably feeling lonely and escape my thoughts I guess. The teenage part hit me the most, that's exactly it. I'm 37, I have no idea WTF love is. I know the word, I know attachment and stuff but love? Back to my escape-reality joint.
EDIT: NO! I forgot to mention that we represent much less than Black Americans in the USA. So I thought I'd compare. Most Black adults arrived in the 1960's to help rebuild France after WWII, alongside North Africans, (France's former colonies...) they weren't established for as long. I'm only part of the 2nd generation of "expats" brought up in the multicultural 90's France, we don't really have an elder black French gay community to guide us or anything. We're picked by White people to live their fantasies, and Maghreb people, because dey love our arses, and NGL a lot of black folks here only go out with them. Homosexuality is pretty much a big no-no in West African families like mine, there's no gay uncle, gay cousin, they don't exist, it's magic. So you won't see many open adult black gay couples in the streets of France, outside of pride weeks or gay bars. There is a French Black Gay community for sure, there are several black themed nights at big gay clubs, but well, proportionally, white people also attend...I'm only speaking for myself, I'd love to hear about other European black people.
Grrl, you are quoting Lisa Fischer! How old are you?
I'm 30 but good music is good music, amirite?? 😂
I always wondered what my gay friends did for prom. Probably dated my ex behimd my back. Lol
BECAUSE ITS TOO EASY TO FIND A REPLACEMENT MATE UNTIL YOU GET OLD
You are cute, have a nice calming voice and I'd probably ask you out on a date.
Nice make up. If you did not have that facial hair I would have thought u a female.
Really dude.
Really dude?