I am reminded of a quote attributed to Socrates: A man should marry. If he gets a good wife he'll be happy. If he gets a bad one he'll become a philosopher.
Men and women need to find a spouse who will not gaslight them, who will not humiliate them, who is capable of faithfulness, who has a deep sense of honor and who understands that the best way to love yourself is to love your husband or wife.
@Sébastien LeQuarré You are ill, because you just missed the entire point of why he said what he said. Its because of feminism can he not find a marriage partner.
@Sébastien LeQuarré No, he lives in the West where as a man if you get divorced, you owe the wife half your shit, she gets appointed sole child custody a LOT of the time, AND you then have to pay child support on top of that -- Also, most divorces ARE filed by women. Also, apparently quite a few Western countries have a no-fault divorce system in place, meaning she could cheat on YOU, then divorce you, then take half your shit, your kids and your child support. Sound fun to you? It's going to be a HELL NO from me and any man with remotely anywhere near a decent IQ. Women created the third-wave feminism problem because they look at social media, copy+paste opinions wholesale from the internet, and now I still have to marry this type of woman? No. I refuse. As Kevin Samuels said: ''Ma'am, buy a dog and die alone.''
I have been married for over 9 years now and one thing I can tell for sure- marriage is an emotional roller coaster but I have never regretted, I have a husband who is the best thing that has ever happened to me and two adorable kids without whom I can never imagine myself. And in the end - my marriage has been a conscious choice and everyday I try my best to maintain that consciousness. Love believe and give - the rest would be carried about by the universe. Thanks 😊
@@anushsaghatelyan3081 You speak of the universe as if it has a conscious mind with intention. How can the universe have intention without a conscious mind? You are describing God but calling it the universe. This is so strange.
This June, my husband and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage and I am only 36. Marriage is amazing. Understand it is dynamic, have humility, and realize you always have room to grow as a person.
I think this is probably one of the most important lectures I've heard from Jordan Peterson. If only everyone could comprehend this when entering a marriage and put this wise advice to practice, just think of all the Broken Hearts & broken marriages that would be saved. And all the profound happiness that could be achieved.
I suffer a lot of chronic pain, my woman takes that away. We're engaged now and I'm so excited. Life was bleak and dark before I met her, she takes care of me, pushes me to go on despite the hardship, and she inspires me to keep making music despite my body hurting badly. I need to marry this woman, she keeps me in line. She makes me feel like an accomplished man.
Damn. I have chronic pain too so I’ve closed myself off from even attempting a relationship, because I didn’t wanna burden anyone. nice to hear that it’s going well for you.
I hope you can find Jesus and develop a relationship with Him. No one person can bear the weight of another's need. We simply are not that good... Only Jesus can be all loving, healing, forgiving, etc. Mankind alone cannot evade sinful acts. None of us are capable. I'm glad you've found a partner, but for both your sakes, put faith in Jesus and He will give you each the strength to keep your marriage vows. God bless you both.
@@manosassassin That is a glorious thing! I'm so happy for you both. Jesus changed my life. It took awhile, but I went from a drug and alcohol abuser to a Godly woman, and now a Godly wife. I'm newly married. God gave me a Godly husband. All I can say is, study the Word, pray, and keep your faith. God will take care of everything else. I pray you find healing. May your marriage thrive!
Shallow meaningless sex sucks in comparison to long lasting marriage/committed sex. Even if you only consider the actual physical act. It takes time to learn someone's body and how they respond to your body. The more you have time to explore that in a setting that is comfortable for both people (the comfort that comes from earnest commitment) the better the experience is. I had several short term purely physical relationships before I met my wife; and those experience pale in comparison. That doesn't mean that everything is perfect or that I don't sometimes desire variety (I don't know if that base desire will ever fully go away) but I always remember that the pleasure and passion I have with my wife cannot be replicated with any artificial substitute.
Jordan you are so amazing, you have such a gift, even though your intellect is far beyond most men you have the ability to explain things that most all men can understand… thanks for sharing your gift with us
I got married a year and a half ago to my longtime (6 year girlfriend). It can be a real challenge, sometimes. Specifically, getting past my wants and needs. The trick is to be engaged in communication and constant dialogue. I’m imperfect. She’s imperfect. Marriage is our attempt to better each other.
@@jaketrat3725 so, a lot of people go long term (without the stupid piece of paper), and they’re able to get on just fine. Something you may not be aware of. There are advantages to making it official (apart from making it hard to get out of). One thing is taxes. If I were single, because of my income, I’d owe 22% in federal income tax. Because I’m married, and because like most women she makes less than I do, our joint taxes are 12%. Not to mention, when we start having kids, the tax right offs go up. Also, if either of us are in any trouble (medical or otherwise), we are privy to each others information and have power over what happens to the other. Also, it’s nice having the same last name. That makes things easier, a unit of two is stronger then an individual. Both financially and emotionally. Idk how old you are, but life gets to be very tough. It helps to have another who’s bound to you there for you. But maybe none of that matters to you. Like I said, I know people who are together for a long time and not married. Anything over 5 years is considered a common-law marriage if you’re co-habituating anyway. Whatever you want is fine. But don’t tell me I need a stupid government paper to solidify my bond. I was with her for many years before marrying. This streamlines a lot. I come from a broken home.
@@jaketrat3725 Without the commitment of marriage, you are simply staying with and using someone until something better comes along. The commitment is the most important part of the relationship.
These topics are so important they shouldn’t be exclusive to any platform. They must be accessible in order for your message to be heard Mr. Peterson. Thank you for the wisdom you share with us 🙏🏼
Look at JP in the thumbnail. Suffering etched in his flesh. Wisdom and compassion gleaming in his eyes for everyone, except for the many people he hates. What poise! I bet the professional photographer needed only to take one photo, and it probably needed little or no photoshop to produce this triumph. A great man! God and JP bless us!
Guys, love is WORK. love is RESPONSIBILITY. Love is COMMITMENT. It's not valuable because it's free. It's valuable because it costs so much but is always worth it.
I knew my wife for a week before we got married. Now, 14 years later, the emotional and sexual connection is off the charts. Getting to know someone deeply and coming together as one is amazing. But this takes humility, respect, and understanding from both the man and the women. You have to truly come together as one and give up yourself. But it's completely worth it, and I am so blessed to have my wife. When you live a Biblical life and put Jesus first in your marriage, it's absolutely amazing.
Your experience is an outlier. The *vast majority* of married men will not have an experience anywhere near as good as yours. Consider yourself very lucky. That kind of luck cannot be manufactured. So your story simply isn’t advice.
The nature of moral behavior is that it is spiritual in origin. If you deny the spiritual, morality becomes fluid or a matter of opinion. And those in power have the strongest opinions. Especially in regards to enforcement.
@@Carguylogan bruh, his daughter turned out aweful, divorced her husband, was posting pics in her under ware on instagram with her kid in the background, hanging out with Andrew Tate, just to name a few red flags.
@@Carguylogan even Jordan Peterson talked about the data, the most stable environment for a child statistically is a nuclear family with the original parents, once a step parent comes into play the risk of physical/sexual abuse goes up dramatically, and the child usually has more trouble in terms of schooling, trouble with the law, etc. I find his daughter very selfish and morally corrupt. Taking lude photos and posting them on the internet for strangers to see, hanging out with Andrew Tate a man that ran a digital pimping business, and is in jail for alleged human trafficking/fraud/money laundering. You can keep simping for her but I won't.
@@levansegnaro4637 Simping? I hadn't even heard about her pictures til you mentioned them bud, lmao. Had to go look it up and they are just bikini pictures, they aren't lewd. You seem to know everything about her, you sure you aren't simping?
Yes. Given that women pick the men, and then decide to pick another. The stats speak for themselves, 70% of divorces are initiated by women. We can all pretend otherwise all we want, I tend to rely on facts.
@@mcchickenmuhchicken I'm sure a lot of women get that there's cruelty there; but don't comprehend how much. Women who have taken testosterone for medical or other reasons have been unprepared for what it did to their physical drive.
@@star2b4u What a stupid piece of advice. Do you think a person that admits to having a cynical view of love wants to burden their partner with their emotions?
As a person who wants what he described, in practical terms, I am an endangered species looking for another endangered species. I'm all for it, but the probability of it happening is slim to none at this point
Same. Add to that that I am not young and wasted my youth on relationships that didn't work out because I never really understood what I had to be looking for in a relationship.
This is why we need to reason and think things through, use our reason and reflect on our behavior. People who just run on pleasure pay the high price!!!
At my 62 yrs I'm no longer interested in a "marriage". I have intimate relationships with friends and family, that is what fulfills me. I have finally come to a point in life where I no longer need a "partner" per se to make me whole. I feel great in my own skin and authenticity! What a freedom! Intimacy doesn't equal sex! Consciousness raises you above physical and into the spiritual. So it doesn't jive with sex!
Lol this always cracks me up when people assume sex decreases with marriage. I have been with my husband since I was 20yrs old and we married when I was 22yrs old. We have been married for 16yrs and going after each other for 18yrs now. When we were in our 20s our single friends thought they had it made, but when you added it up over that decade we had a LOT more sex because we had constant access to each other. I also don't understand why people lose interest, because we just seem to get better and better at our craft going after each other as we have gotten older...it is like out of this world at this point and light years more amazing than when we were rookies. Since we keep evolving as we get older, so does the relationship as well as the sex...so it doesn't feel like we have just been the same exact people the whole time. There are so many layers to our growing and understanding of each other as time goes by. I don't know that we will get to the bottom of it in an entire lifetime. We did have just one kiddo due to medical reasons (I am at pretty high risk of dying if I had another), so maybe that is part of the reason we didn't suffer as much of a dip in our sex lives when we had a child. Speaking of which, I did almost die when my son was a few months old, and after this happened in our 20s we realized that even when you are young to never take life or health or love for granted for one second. The superficial things mean nothing! I also have focused on being a stay at home mom that home schools, and I only do part time gigs here and there...this gives us a lot more family and marriage time as a couple to be with each other which has made a tremendous difference too. You have to consciously create, invest, and put time into making a romantic marriage. Having a best friend in marriage and a partner in crime is a great feeling too. If you don't exercise you get out of shape...if you don't exercise and work on your marriage every day, it will get out of shape and lose tone too. All of these things combined together have made it wonderful for us...because at this point we are like one soul in two bodies. While we enjoy each other's bodies immensely, we see that the real "us" is actually our soul inside of the body, and this body is just a temporary thing that will eventually go away.
The one thing I notice in your writing is that you have a positive and mature temperament. I think most sexless marriages come about because one of the partners (usually the woman) becomes resentful at the other partner and is too immature to talk it through -- either to start the conversation, or to hear out the other person and find a solution together. People will go to great lengths to not be confronted with the imperfections and inadequacies in their life, so deadly silence is their best strategy. Being fundamentally positive is the antidote to the marriage derailing.
@ECSE4 I never said "always". I used language that could refer to either partner being resentful and mentioned that it is *usually* the woman who is at the base of sexlessness, which is a fact.
This reminds me of a romanian novel that's mandatory reading in highschool, "Last night of love, first night of war" by Camil Petrescu. Too bad I can't find an english translation of it, because it's a good book, and it describes marriage in a very similar vein, which is impressive, considering it came out in 1930 and its characters use carriages as the main mode of transport
I haven't listened to the video, but just responding to the title...no. Not even close. Nearly 15 years in and we're more bunny-like than on our honeymoon, I think. The tricky part now is finding time when the kids won't be around, or awake. >.> We've done nothing but grow closer and more open and communicative over the years (in general, not just regarding bedroom stuff) which makes intimacy easier during trying times, as opposed to us being stressed out and pushing each other away. I know that self-accountability has been a big part of my own growth as a wife; of course if I look for excuses, I can blame him for whatever I want. But acknowledging my own faults and triggers leads to empathy and understanding toward my husband, so I seldom get angry with him now. He's always been that way toward me, I suspect he's happy that I finally caught up!
Thank you jordan, your words help me understand a bit of relationships, in this crazy time we live in. There are things that are important in an union and just never change. As you said about acting together instead of as two separate people, you need to take the other into consideration at least.
Cause life is so much more meaningful if you have that special somebody to always fall asleep with they always wake up next to and just know that you have their beautiful heart to take care of it feels so good
@@j.l.stanford1754 One huge thing is that God is the center of my life and I try to love my wife like God loves me. Love doesn't seek it's own and love doesn't remember the past. I love my wife because I cherish her despite her faults and loving her like this has kept the flame alive. Don't love her for you love her for her.
@@j.l.stanford1754 Marriage being 50/50 is the biggest mistake ever. We all go through different stages in our life and sometimes you'll be 80 and she will be 20 but that's okay because there may be a time when you are 20. I just try and do 100% Don't love her for how she makes you feel and be concerned about how you are being loved. Just make your love outward and if it still fails in the end at least it wasn't because of you.
Please Make it part of pre Marriage talks. This truly Identifies the role of marriage and procreation as God intended... God bless Jordan Peterson God bless his works and soon God please bless his ministry as a CATHOLIC DEACON... We need people like you Jordan. Please think about this...
Historically, procreation was the goal. Becoming a mom or dad was the pinnacle of achievement, and that makes marriage particularly beneficial to women. Being married to one man and being a mother meant that he was committed to you and your children alone, because from a biological perspective men limit themselves in monogamy. For men then marriage becomes an act of honor and humility to submit to a covenant with one woman, and to be father to only her children. The Genesis story is a great summary of it, because a man binding himself to his wife and children to start his own family is the prime goal, and a woman desiring one man to be the head of her household is best for her and her children. Modern society killed the focus of procreation and marrying pragmatically or deontologically to focus on intimacy, which waxes and wanes, and is why so many fail to have success with that over the long run.
Everything Jordan preaches makes complete sense, if we lived in a society that championed marriage and unity. We’ve got dating apps and social media as well as feminism breaking up relationships, bachelor mode forever until this is fixed ✌️
But what about the fact that the law is incentivizing women to divorce and the fact that more that 70% of it are initiated by women. Marriage has been turned into an unattractive deal that isn't worth the risk by the legal system. I understand your point and I'm fully on board with you. But the immense power it has to ruin your life isn't worth it.
@Userguest Oh dude, that depends on where you live. Here you can lose half your stuff simply by moving in together and she deciding to leave the next week, and I mean that literally.
@@Daergarz Yup. In fact, in Canada where Peterson lives, the laws on cohabitation are even more egregiously authoritarian, and the requirements for what qualifies as "living together" are even more loose.
Marrying the right person for you is truly one of the best things you can do in life, and marrying the wrong person is surely one of the worst. We've pretty much culturally scrapped virtues like morality, modesty, chastity, and loyalty, so people mindlessly marry bad eggs and then are shocked when they get screwed over. Like attracts like; people with no morals marry people with no morals. We all get what we deserve.
Only men are getting screwed over in marriage, and every man thinks he's found one of the "good" women when he marries her. Men aren't getting screwed over for being blind; they're getting screwed over because women have weaponized the State against men and are using it to destroy men's lives through divorce courts, and the State is more than happy to participate. Even a woman that was a perfect angel or a saint would *_still_* have that ability to use the State against her husband, in a way no woman -- or anyone else for that matter -- should be able to.
You are generalizing. You have no idea what other's individual circumstances might be; in fact, predatory people often seek out people who are docile, unassuming, vulnerable in some sense. This is simply not a true statement but I'm sure it makes you feel like the world is perfectly ordered and safe.
This is such an interesting topic for this generation and generations to come because there is much more sexual liberation now in western society, and across the world. So many marriages and long term relationships I've observed, and even some I've been involved in, have fizzled out in terms of sexual intimacy. Many people often staying together in misery simply because of a sense of duty, or fear of being alone, or some other internal justification. This is the struggle and no relationship should be forced. More people are open to multiple partners now and polygamous relationships or solo sexual sustainability. But this is a double edged sword as this seems to be drifting to more superficial experiences akin to substance abuse. Always chasing a better high but never being fulfilled. So yes marriage is still fundamentally relevant in mainstream society, but not just for sexual intimacy, but rather for the substance of more meaningfull relationships and personal or spiritual fulfillment.
That being said... abuse is still abuse no matter what form it takes or who's doing the abusing. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help and get out. I wish you peace.
What you say in this video SHOULD be true, but sadly it isn’t in real life. Marriage has destroyed the lives of five of my male friends from just my close friend group, and looking out of my window I can see seven male neighbours houses who’s lives have also been destroyed by marriage. They have had everything they’ve worked for all their lives taken away after being divorced by their wives. Most of them have lost ALL access to their children. There is a problem with what society is teaching women, until that is fixed I wouldn’t recommend marriage to any man.
Numpty : Sad but true I have simular experiences...I`m divorced once without kids and never had the courage to try it again scared for life...Reality is a whole different thing to deal with, even regognizing Jordan`s speech sounds very comforting and encouraging....
But you guys are the ones choosing these women. I see a lot of conservative men choosing liberal women. It's similar to women who choose abusive or womanizing men. You need to make sure that her morals and values align with yours.
@@saltycat662 I agree, that morals and values have to align. But these are not characteristics that are easily perceivable from a first date. Morals and values can even be manufactured and falsely presented for years. Or even more likely, people just change. This is usually the case with women who end up with abusers and womanizers too. We all overestimate young people's ability to vet lifelong partners, especially in a dating scene that has is so shallow.
i was a virgin bride married 13 years, now a widow of 3 years... i tell you sex is not dead when you get married... i had the free est mind blowing sex with my husband...
I don't know why people say that married life is sexless. I grew up very conservative. And in the church the women's bible study teachers would encourage wives to submit and keep a quote godly attitude and fulfil their husbands desire for sex. They taught that a woman was made as a companion and help for man and that it was God's will for wives to basically never say no to married life sex unless you were sick or otherwise in pain and unable. I'm one of four children and many other families I grew up with had 10 plus children. And surprise children are made during sex so. And TV was said to be the devil so husbands and wives had nothing else to do lol. Fast forward I dated a childhood friend and was not quote pure until marriage but I only had him as a partner. We're married now. We have a ton more sex now. Why? Idk I think when a woman feels secure and chosen there isn't a lot of fear and low self esteem that'll get in the way of her libido. When you are dating and you have sex and they haven't made you feel like the one per say it as a woman it makes you feel like maybe you aren't good enough or maybe there's another or etc. Etc. But when you are married idk for me a lot of those thoughts left and you're together so much it's easier to let your guard down and freely be affectionate towards each other. Idk what type of marriage other people have but the one I have and my parents and everyone I knew was just sex all the time. I mean bible thumpers thump more than just the bible it seems.....lol 😂
@@cyclone8974 Yes, because that's a excuse to escape commitment. Instead, embrace the responsibility of setting things right whether they are and be grateful that isn't worse. We don't need any more argument against marriage.
@@DRPenha That's nonsensical, it's a lot more complected than he makes it sound. Luckily young people aren't as dumb as he seems to think they are, and are staying away from marriage.
My parents have been married for 38 years. My aunts and uncles have been married for over 40 years. My cousin has been married to her second husband for nearly 30 years. Marriage really is a team effort.
My aunt and uncle are merried for more than 20 years now and they're in their 50's and no one had ever seen them argue. They are getting older and older, and still behave like if they are only few months after the wedding. Truly amazing! I wish to have a love like theirs, because they are the real life example, that merrige doesn't kill anything.
I’m not on board with falling in love as it’s an emotional state no different from fear or hate. It may start out as an emotional state but in the end real love is a choice. But, I don’t think we disagree.
I love to listen to eloquent people. It‘s very satisfying! The only problem is that my motherlanguage is not english. So videos like this with a very elaborate vocabulary and a philosophical or psychological content are just overwhelming. That‘s so sad. I‘d love to really and fully understand what he is talking about.
I married several times. I guess I was a romantic, cause I wanted marriage, and for it to work. They were abusive once. Physical psychological and emotional. Really bad things happened to me. Now, to late I have realised I unconciously followed a pattern. Probably rooted in my early childhood. I try not to think about a partner any more. It feels to me as if I have no longer the right to do so. But I have seen beautiful long marriages. Really beautiful once, were the two are totally commited to each other.
The problem with marriage lately is that people aren't waiting until marriage to have sex. They feel dissatisfied because thry've been prancing about with evryone for years, and using them to please themselves, and even pleasing themselves themselves! You have nothing to give your spouse anyomre. Of course your marraige will fall apart! Wait until marriage, and your marrige will be much better. Your not compairing them to other people.
@@ronburgundy3172 That why people need to find something to replace thought about sex, like a hobby or something positive. when in peaceful time like this men only focus on their enjoyment, if we look back in the days man need to work hard and earn more for survival and pornoghrapic content widely invaded our mind right now
@TheBrunswickDrunkard True it warns against marrying an awful woman but He also doesn't say it's better for men to do anything else. God doesn't excuse sin. You should marry if you can't control your lusts. Either that or remain celibate.
@@saltycat662 The apostle Paul was a fan of celebacy; but he also warned that he was talking on his own and wasn't explicitly passing on divine revelation when he said that. I wonder, after a few centuries of cutting off offspring from priests and other godly people, if the West was basically breeding for irreligious people.
I will have been married for 35 years this spring, been together with my husband for 40 years. Would I do some things differently (better) within the marriage? Yes. Do I regret being in this marriage? No! Do I feel deprived for not having had multiple partners in all this time? Also no. The key is to consider your commitment as permanent. This seems self-evident to me, but apparently it isn't anymore. Divorce should not be an option unless there is abuse. This forces you to work out your problems and become a better person, rather than taking the easy way out and run away.
On my third marriage. The two men prior had no commitment. Finally met the love of my life. A man who makes his bed as Jordan says. He has suffered so much but yet he has maturity to understand commitment. Only 8 months into marriage and every day I become more and more in love with him. My respect and affection grows with each difficult moment we go through together
third times a charge but don't try to relieve yourself of any accountability on your prior marriage failures. it takes two to tango and you chose them, in most cases; the signs were there beforehand, respectfully.
"Life is suffering. So what do you do with that suffering? Try to reduce it!" - Jordan Peterson (2017) One of the main reasons why I have no interest in marriage or relationships. Inviting a woman into my life would only needlessly increase my own suffering.
This video provides very good arguments for long term serious relationships and leading a productive life. Nothing about marriage tho. Marriage is not a social institution anymore, instead it is a legal procedure and contract. Since it is so easy to get divorced, especially for women, the real value of marriage even as a contract, has been reduced to close to nothing, especially from the point of view of men.
It's supposed to be a social institution. It doesn't matter if it's easy to divorce. It shouldn't be something easily considered to the couple who are married. You and your spouse shouldn't be wanting to get a divorce. That shows that there are deep cracks in the foundation of your marriage and you better help fix it before it's too late.
@@saltycat662 Doesn't matter if it's supposed to be, it's not. The government should've stayed out of it so it would solely be a spiritual ritual. Most people don't value marriage as it was originally intended, because they're incentivized not to.
I find being unencumbered is quite peaceful and freeing. I get so much more done and have no one dragging me into unnecessary drama and expense. I’m able to do so much more for my child now than I ever could with the speed bump women out there. If I could find a level headed woman that could be a real life partner, I would consider being with someone again but these days, I doubt that will ever happen
ofcourse there are level-headed women just as there are level-headed men. its a character trait not a gender specific trait. unfortunately, i doubt you would find them cause sounds like you're attracted to dramatic women who brings chaos and loads of excitement. Level-headed, reasonable, decent woman have structures, routines in order to create that peace in their life...which is boring to some men lol. i was chaotic in my 20s and guys liked that. im now in my 30s and have learned to manage those behaviours and i find myself extremely boring now.
@@Hamyhamster24 Since reading your Comment I have changed the description of myself to Happy to be Single and Boring😁My own life has settled down after years of youthful chaos. Thank you. xx
Might as well call it the same thing as s relationship without a ceremony but it'll kill you you cam have a healthy relationship with no sex that would be nice. I was practically married to my ex. But why do they try so hard? You could just hang out.
I have married twice. The first time was to a man who just wasn’t mature to handle being a husband. My second is to a man who wanted a full relationship and a real partner. It has been 15 years and I can honestly say it is successful for both of us to share this existence with.
I’ve been with my husband for 18 years. I’m 40. We met when I was 22 and he was 31, we were both at uni. We didn’t like eachother at first and used to argue/debate so much in seminars that everyone was shocked when we got together. He was a typical skater boy, all black metal and tattoos, and I was the nerd girl who spent her whole life in the library. But that intellectual battling we did was the thing that drew us together and we haven’t stopped since. It’s never dull , I’ll say that. We’ve been married for 10 years. It’s been an extremely tough road but we don’t give up on eachother. He has a history of abuse in his childhood, I had a BPD mother and a father who abandoned me emotionally. We’ve taken our issues out on eachother, sure, but in the spirit of challenge, we never shy away from the difficult things. And we work together. I’ve just completed 10 years of psychotherapy, and he’s just starting out with a therapist now. We always say it’s you and me against the world. And it always has been, always will be.
It's the pill most of the time. Woman gets married uses hormonal birth control. That stuff tanks the libido many of my friends are repulsed by sexual stuff while on the pill.
I really wish I could speak to you in regards to what I'd experienced, and I know as I've seen it, that people can find connections with my story in their own life. As I was deeply troubled given my familial situation which was only worsened by being given an ideological idea against my maturity; which directly imposed on my ability to socialize. Creating a very insecure barrier between myself and woman. Until it'd all subsided after a motorcycle accident to which I finally found my skin. Falling in love within the same week. A psychological nightmare it was but I knew I was introspective enough along with an obsessive ability to focus on details that I could figure out what'd happened. It gave me haunting realizations about my generation and current human social behavior, especially sexually and intimately. I essentially incorporated my shadow by falling in love; pure and bloody insanity. It was what allowed me to find my voice that I didn't have for so long; or even taking ownership of the skin I inhabited. Learning key details of human emotions, imaginations and how it all related to the superego of society. Learning that I was blind as a result of my parents actions of which the world has plenty of ways of exploiting. Such as modern hook up culture or the possession of hair triggered lust. My first thought after the accident and meeting that woman was "what have we done?" Strangely enough I consider her to be my shadow, a direct opposite. Given that the world influences both genders in very opposing ways. To essentially make true unity next to impossible which weakens men and possesses woman with power that corrupts their sight. Not something they usually see until it's too late.
@@in3audio932 1.) YT censored your comment, likely because of not censoring words N*f*ap, or p*rn.... 2.) As I see it, it's similar to any other powerful habit - if you overuse it/ abuse it, it gets a hold on you & ruins your agency to pursue more worthy things ❤
I need the Daily Wire ad I've seen a few times that starts with a “narcissistic” question along the lines of: “How can I find a good partner?” that is followed with an evaluation that this question is narcissistic and a suggestion that we should strive to be good prospective partners. I can't find this ad on DW channel (but there is a different one there).
Is bait-and-switch common with them now? Being a good partner is great; but if you're single and already doing that, you still need what you clicked for.
Marriage is a contract that rewards the person that breaks it, most divorces are initiated by women. Let's be honest, women are hypergamous even your own wife admitted to that Jordan, so why should a man risk his time and resources he's accumulated throughout his years, just to invite the govt into his bedroom. It's simply not logical. You want men to marry? change the laws.
This video was, to me, a rare instance of Peterson stringing together random gobbledegook trying to make it sound like it works together. I'm sure it looks good on paper but, like Communism, the practice just doesn't bare out
It is SO much more fulfilling to know and be known by one person (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) than it could ever be sleeping around with multiple people. It’s how God designed marriage. And don’t forget that true love is not a feeling, it’s a consistent action. Please read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in the Bible to learn what I mean if you don’t know what true love is.
I am reminded of a quote attributed to Socrates: A man should marry. If he gets a good wife he'll be happy. If he gets a bad one he'll become a philosopher.
This made me laugh 😂
Now that's one ancient buuurn
'A woman should marry. If she gets a good husband she'll be happy. If she gets a bad one, she's dead
She he had a bad wife 😁
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 thanks curt
Being in a committed monogamous marriage was easy for me. He passed away ten years ago and I miss our deep discussions.
I’m sorry, Donna.
Sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm jealous, my wife hates my philosophy.
It’s usually easy for the women, not so much for men
Men and women need to find a spouse who will not gaslight them, who will not humiliate them, who is capable of faithfulness, who has a deep sense of honor and who understands that the best way to love yourself is to love your husband or wife.
💯
They don’t make ‘em anymore
@@dave61242 you don't work hard enough to Look for her
I like the way you put that!
This is the way to go. I will not go into a relationship without this.
Having a good marriage is a gift. It allows one to have a team mate who will encourage, challenge, support you in any facet of life.
Just like the Bible states, a prudent wife is a gift from the Lord!
Amen! This is exactly how I feel about my marriage!❤️
@JewishManBearPug I think not
@@blakecharles someone got pumped and dumped
So is winning Russian Roulette. Still doesn't make either a "game" worth playing.
I've lost faith in marriage in the current day and age so it's refreshing to hear some of the reasons to do it.
@Sébastien LeQuarré You are ill, because you just missed the entire point of why he said what he said. Its because of feminism can he not find a marriage partner.
His married daughter slept with Andrew Tate when you where in the hospital. If he can’t keep your own house don’t give advice to anyone.
@Sébastien LeQuarré No, he lives in the West where as a man if you get divorced, you owe the wife half your shit, she gets appointed sole child custody a LOT of the time, AND you then have to pay child support on top of that -- Also, most divorces ARE filed by women.
Also, apparently quite a few Western countries have a no-fault divorce system in place, meaning she could cheat on YOU, then divorce you, then take half your shit, your kids and your child support.
Sound fun to you?
It's going to be a HELL NO from me and any man with remotely anywhere near a decent IQ.
Women created the third-wave feminism problem because they look at social media, copy+paste opinions wholesale from the internet, and now I still have to marry this type of woman?
No. I refuse.
As Kevin Samuels said: ''Ma'am, buy a dog and die alone.''
@Sébastien LeQuarré
is there a difference between feminism and communism-for-women?
@@therearenoshortcuts9868 In modern definitions? Feminism means she hates men and communism means she hates everybody. XD
I have been married for over 9 years now and one thing I can tell for sure- marriage is an emotional roller coaster but I have never regretted, I have a husband who is the best thing that has ever happened to me and two adorable kids without whom I can never imagine myself.
And in the end - my marriage has been a conscious choice and everyday I try my best to maintain that consciousness.
Love believe and give - the rest would be carried about by the universe.
Thanks 😊
@@anushsaghatelyan3081 You speak of the universe as if it has a conscious mind with intention. How can the universe have intention without a conscious mind? You are describing God but calling it the universe. This is so strange.
This June, my husband and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage and I am only 36. Marriage is amazing. Understand it is dynamic, have humility, and realize you always have room to grow as a person.
I think this is probably one of the most important lectures I've heard from Jordan Peterson. If only everyone could comprehend this when entering a marriage and put this wise advice to practice, just think of all the Broken Hearts & broken marriages that would be saved. And all the profound happiness that could be achieved.
"It is not good that man should be alone." The original marriage is an example to us all.
I suffer a lot of chronic pain, my woman takes that away. We're engaged now and I'm so excited. Life was bleak and dark before I met her, she takes care of me, pushes me to go on despite the hardship, and she inspires me to keep making music despite my body hurting badly. I need to marry this woman, she keeps me in line. She makes me feel like an accomplished man.
Damn. I have chronic pain too so I’ve closed myself off from even attempting a relationship, because I didn’t wanna burden anyone. nice to hear that it’s going well for you.
I hope you can find Jesus and develop a relationship with Him. No one person can bear the weight of another's need. We simply are not that good... Only Jesus can be all loving, healing, forgiving, etc. Mankind alone cannot evade sinful acts. None of us are capable.
I'm glad you've found a partner, but for both your sakes, put faith in Jesus and He will give you each the strength to keep your marriage vows. God bless you both.
@@kilodeltawhisky1504 she was the one to restore my faith to me in the first place. It is among the top reasons why I Love her so much.
@@manosassassin That is a glorious thing! I'm so happy for you both. Jesus changed my life. It took awhile, but I went from a drug and alcohol abuser to a Godly woman, and now a Godly wife. I'm newly married. God gave me a Godly husband. All I can say is, study the Word, pray, and keep your faith. God will take care of everything else. I pray you find healing. May your marriage thrive!
Thats good, but all I see from you is "ME". What do you do for her? I'm not judging you, just telling from the experience.
Shallow meaningless sex sucks in comparison to long lasting marriage/committed sex. Even if you only consider the actual physical act. It takes time to learn someone's body and how they respond to your body. The more you have time to explore that in a setting that is comfortable for both people (the comfort that comes from earnest commitment) the better the experience is. I had several short term purely physical relationships before I met my wife; and those experience pale in comparison. That doesn't mean that everything is perfect or that I don't sometimes desire variety (I don't know if that base desire will ever fully go away) but I always remember that the pleasure and passion I have with my wife cannot be replicated with any artificial substitute.
A man of integrity
@@Chris-eu2ls aka gigachad
Jordan you are so amazing, you have such a gift, even though your intellect is far beyond most men you have the ability to explain things that most all men can understand… thanks for sharing your gift with us
I got married a year and a half ago to my longtime (6 year girlfriend). It can be a real challenge, sometimes. Specifically, getting past my wants and needs.
The trick is to be engaged in communication and constant dialogue. I’m imperfect. She’s imperfect. Marriage is our attempt to better each other.
@@jaketrat3725 so, a lot of people go long term (without the stupid piece of paper), and they’re able to get on just fine.
Something you may not be aware of. There are advantages to making it official (apart from making it hard to get out of). One thing is taxes. If I were single, because of my income, I’d owe 22% in federal income tax. Because I’m married, and because like most women she makes less than I do, our joint taxes are 12%. Not to mention, when we start having kids, the tax right offs go up.
Also, if either of us are in any trouble (medical or otherwise), we are privy to each others information and have power over what happens to the other.
Also, it’s nice having the same last name. That makes things easier, a unit of two is stronger then an individual. Both financially and emotionally. Idk how old you are, but life gets to be very tough. It helps to have another who’s bound to you there for you.
But maybe none of that matters to you. Like I said, I know people who are together for a long time and not married. Anything over 5 years is considered a common-law marriage if you’re co-habituating anyway.
Whatever you want is fine. But don’t tell me I need a stupid government paper to solidify my bond. I was with her for many years before marrying. This streamlines a lot. I come from a broken home.
@@jaketrat3725 Ask your gay and lesbian friends why they fought for the government to be involved.
@@jaketrat3725 Without the commitment of marriage, you are simply staying with and using someone until something better comes along. The commitment is the most important part of the relationship.
@@andrewwabik5125 awesome
@@jaketrat3725 on earth as it is in heaven
Interesting how not so long ago marriage was the beginning of sex life.
How it should be all the time, sex belongs within the confines of marriage.
It was for me and my husband. No regrets.
Yeah because everyone was 18-19 when they got married 😂😂
@@_chemicalbeat_ Tell hot girl summer.
These topics are so important they shouldn’t be exclusive to any platform. They must be accessible in order for your message to be heard Mr. Peterson. Thank you for the wisdom you share with us 🙏🏼
Look at JP in the thumbnail. Suffering etched in his flesh. Wisdom and compassion gleaming in his eyes for everyone, except for the many people he hates. What poise! I bet the professional photographer needed only to take one photo, and it probably needed little or no photoshop to produce this triumph. A great man! God and JP bless us!
Guys, love is WORK. love is RESPONSIBILITY. Love is COMMITMENT.
It's not valuable because it's free. It's valuable because it costs so much but is always worth it.
I knew my wife for a week before we got married. Now, 14 years later, the emotional and sexual connection is off the charts. Getting to know someone deeply and coming together as one is amazing. But this takes humility, respect, and understanding from both the man and the women. You have to truly come together as one and give up yourself. But it's completely worth it, and I am so blessed to have my wife. When you live a Biblical life and put Jesus first in your marriage, it's absolutely amazing.
Your experience is an outlier. The *vast majority* of married men will not have an experience anywhere near as good as yours. Consider yourself very lucky. That kind of luck cannot be manufactured. So your story simply isn’t advice.
Wow that's extraordinary why so quickly?
The nature of moral behavior is that it is spiritual in origin. If you deny the spiritual, morality becomes fluid or a matter of opinion. And those in power have the strongest opinions. Especially in regards to enforcement.
👏👏
Can you explain what you mean by spiritual? Cheers.
Marriage is a sacrament, gift of God between one man with one woman, one flesh to grow to perfection, to holiness as our God is perfect!
Correct, homosexual marriage is not real marriage but a mere corrupt imitation/parody. Only true marriage will ever be is between male and female.
Agreed.
It's a scam.
There is no benevolent God willing to gift anybody anything:
[ th-cam.com/play/PLIacjWbHUdUA-uzJ0fjL1yfhyKywldpO9.html ]
@@Boddah. it's sacred, beautiful and purporseful
Imagine having a father like Dr Peterson. What a role model
Have you listened to his daughter? She's a winner, no surprise.
@@Carguylogan bruh, his daughter turned out aweful, divorced her husband, was posting pics in her under ware on instagram with her kid in the background, hanging out with Andrew Tate, just to name a few red flags.
@@levansegnaro4637 She's awful because she got a divorce? And took pics of her with bikinis? I'm gonna have to disagree with you there...
@@Carguylogan even Jordan Peterson talked about the data, the most stable environment for a child statistically is a nuclear family with the original parents, once a step parent comes into play the risk of physical/sexual abuse goes up dramatically, and the child usually has more trouble in terms of schooling, trouble with the law, etc. I find his daughter very selfish and morally corrupt. Taking lude photos and posting them on the internet for strangers to see, hanging out with Andrew Tate a man that ran a digital pimping business, and is in jail for alleged human trafficking/fraud/money laundering. You can keep simping for her but I won't.
@@levansegnaro4637 Simping? I hadn't even heard about her pictures til you mentioned them bud, lmao. Had to go look it up and they are just bikini pictures, they aren't lewd. You seem to know everything about her, you sure you aren't simping?
All men complaining about women, the same can be said about some men...look at yourself, are YOU good husband material🤔
Yes.
Given that women pick the men, and then decide to pick another. The stats speak for themselves, 70% of divorces are initiated by women. We can all pretend otherwise all we want, I tend to rely on facts.
If a man deprives his wife, physically, that's wrong too. We're different enough that I don't know if women comprehend how cruel that is.
@@NathanSmutz of course we would know thats cruel, u really dont understand women at all.
They arent, most beat off to porn daily and play video games.
@@mcchickenmuhchicken I'm sure a lot of women get that there's cruelty there; but don't comprehend how much. Women who have taken testosterone for medical or other reasons have been unprepared for what it did to their physical drive.
I'm struggling with the idea of marriage not because of hedonistic reasons but rather a pessimistic and cynical view of life and love
th-cam.com/video/D9JCwkx558o/w-d-xo.html
I hope you understand where I'm coming from with this I hope it helps
Me too
Then don't. Omg fix urself. Don't bring that into ur partners life
@@star2b4u What a stupid piece of advice. Do you think a person that admits to having a cynical view of love wants to burden their partner with their emotions?
you can always stay single or common-law. marriage is a choice. lucky for you, you got a choice :)
As a person who wants what he described, in practical terms, I am an endangered species looking for another endangered species.
I'm all for it, but the probability of it happening is slim to none at this point
Same. Add to that that I am not young and wasted my youth on relationships that didn't work out because I never really understood what I had to be looking for in a relationship.
It shouldn't be! I've been married for 10 years and am still wildly attracted to my husband! He'd such a good, strong and loving man.
This is why we need to reason and think things through, use our reason and reflect on our behavior. People who just run on pleasure pay the high price!!!
At my 62 yrs I'm no longer interested in a "marriage". I have intimate relationships with friends and family, that is what fulfills me. I have finally come to a point in life where I no longer need a "partner" per se to make me whole. I feel great in my own skin and authenticity! What a freedom! Intimacy doesn't equal sex! Consciousness raises you above physical and into the spiritual. So it doesn't jive with sex!
Hormones drop over time. At 62(assuming you are a woman) there is really no biological reason for you to desire intimate contact.
Marriage is a gamble
pqr : Very very true....
Everyday is a Gamble
@@ihavetubes Marriage gambles with the rest of your days.
Are you a gambler?
Most things in life are
Don't do sex before marriage
Agreed, it ruins the relationship from the word go.
I disagree. Chemistry is important.
Best not to know what you're going to be missing?
I jest, and there are better reasons for celebacy; but there's probably something to that.
You are spot on sir, my wife of 36 years knows me well, and loves me anyway. That's my idea of intimacy.
Life is more duty and less fulfilling ones happiness, I am learning this, I should have been parented these ideals.
Lol this always cracks me up when people assume sex decreases with marriage. I have been with my husband since I was 20yrs old and we married when I was 22yrs old. We have been married for 16yrs and going after each other for 18yrs now. When we were in our 20s our single friends thought they had it made, but when you added it up over that decade we had a LOT more sex because we had constant access to each other.
I also don't understand why people lose interest, because we just seem to get better and better at our craft going after each other as we have gotten older...it is like out of this world at this point and light years more amazing than when we were rookies. Since we keep evolving as we get older, so does the relationship as well as the sex...so it doesn't feel like we have just been the same exact people the whole time. There are so many layers to our growing and understanding of each other as time goes by. I don't know that we will get to the bottom of it in an entire lifetime.
We did have just one kiddo due to medical reasons (I am at pretty high risk of dying if I had another), so maybe that is part of the reason we didn't suffer as much of a dip in our sex lives when we had a child. Speaking of which, I did almost die when my son was a few months old, and after this happened in our 20s we realized that even when you are young to never take life or health or love for granted for one second. The superficial things mean nothing! I also have focused on being a stay at home mom that home schools, and I only do part time gigs here and there...this gives us a lot more family and marriage time as a couple to be with each other which has made a tremendous difference too. You have to consciously create, invest, and put time into making a romantic marriage. Having a best friend in marriage and a partner in crime is a great feeling too. If you don't exercise you get out of shape...if you don't exercise and work on your marriage every day, it will get out of shape and lose tone too.
All of these things combined together have made it wonderful for us...because at this point we are like one soul in two bodies. While we enjoy each other's bodies immensely, we see that the real "us" is actually our soul inside of the body, and this body is just a temporary thing that will eventually go away.
The one thing I notice in your writing is that you have a positive and mature temperament. I think most sexless marriages come about because one of the partners (usually the woman) becomes resentful at the other partner and is too immature to talk it through -- either to start the conversation, or to hear out the other person and find a solution together. People will go to great lengths to not be confronted with the imperfections and inadequacies in their life, so deadly silence is their best strategy. Being fundamentally positive is the antidote to the marriage derailing.
@ECSE4 I never said "always". I used language that could refer to either partner being resentful and mentioned that it is *usually* the woman who is at the base of sexlessness, which is a fact.
I believe the stats are estimated at 1 out of 3 cold bedrooms in marriages.
amazing, thank you Dr. Peterson!
He nails it every time. He just gets people!!
@@mikescott4195 meh
@@mikescott4195 Impotent, huh. It shows.
This reminds me of a romanian novel that's mandatory reading in highschool, "Last night of love, first night of war" by Camil Petrescu. Too bad I can't find an english translation of it, because it's a good book, and it describes marriage in a very similar vein, which is impressive, considering it came out in 1930 and its characters use carriages as the main mode of transport
The world has never really changed. It's only moved faster.
A man who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:28.
Simply beautiful and challenging.
Always a pleasure to hear these talks.
I haven't listened to the video, but just responding to the title...no. Not even close. Nearly 15 years in and we're more bunny-like than on our honeymoon, I think. The tricky part now is finding time when the kids won't be around, or awake. >.>
We've done nothing but grow closer and more open and communicative over the years (in general, not just regarding bedroom stuff) which makes intimacy easier during trying times, as opposed to us being stressed out and pushing each other away. I know that self-accountability has been a big part of my own growth as a wife; of course if I look for excuses, I can blame him for whatever I want. But acknowledging my own faults and triggers leads to empathy and understanding toward my husband, so I seldom get angry with him now. He's always been that way toward me, I suspect he's happy that I finally caught up!
Love your work. You talk so much sense
Bloody profound
Thank you jordan, your words help me understand a bit of relationships, in this crazy time we live in. There are things that are important in an union and just never change. As you said about acting together instead of as two separate people, you need to take the other into consideration at least.
Dr. Peterson, you are such a blessing to the world... 🙏
Cause life is so much more meaningful if you have that special somebody to always fall asleep with they always wake up next to and just know that you have their beautiful heart to take care of it feels so good
I love this, marriage is more profound than we realize.
11 years married and I swear on my life sex gets better every year. Honest to God truth.
Good to know. Been married for 6 months and the spark is still strong.
Been married 2 years and the flame is dead lmao
@@j.l.stanford1754 One huge thing is that God is the center of my life and I try to love my wife like God loves me. Love doesn't seek it's own and love doesn't remember the past. I love my wife because I cherish her despite her faults and loving her like this has kept the flame alive. Don't love her for you love her for her.
@@keithherrera1038 I try to do that. She doesn't love me the way I need back.
@@j.l.stanford1754 Marriage being 50/50 is the biggest mistake ever. We all go through different stages in our life and sometimes you'll be 80 and she will be 20 but that's okay because there may be a time when you are 20. I just try and do 100% Don't love her for how she makes you feel and be concerned about how you are being loved. Just make your love outward and if it still fails in the end at least it wasn't because of you.
Please Make it part of pre Marriage talks.
This truly Identifies the role of marriage and procreation as God intended...
God bless Jordan Peterson God bless his works and soon God please bless his ministry as a CATHOLIC DEACON...
We need people like you Jordan.
Please think about this...
Historically, procreation was the goal. Becoming a mom or dad was the pinnacle of achievement, and that makes marriage particularly beneficial to women. Being married to one man and being a mother meant that he was committed to you and your children alone, because from a biological perspective men limit themselves in monogamy. For men then marriage becomes an act of honor and humility to submit to a covenant with one woman, and to be father to only her children.
The Genesis story is a great summary of it, because a man binding himself to his wife and children to start his own family is the prime goal, and a woman desiring one man to be the head of her household is best for her and her children.
Modern society killed the focus of procreation and marrying pragmatically or deontologically to focus on intimacy, which waxes and wanes, and is why so many fail to have success with that over the long run.
Everything Jordan preaches makes complete sense, if we lived in a society that championed marriage and unity. We’ve got dating apps and social media as well as feminism breaking up relationships, bachelor mode forever until this is fixed ✌️
But what about the fact that the law is incentivizing women to divorce and the fact that more that 70% of it are initiated by women. Marriage has been turned into an unattractive deal that isn't worth the risk by the legal system.
I understand your point and I'm fully on board with you. But the immense power it has to ruin your life isn't worth it.
@Userguest Oh dude, that depends on where you live. Here you can lose half your stuff simply by moving in together and she deciding to leave the next week, and I mean that literally.
@@Daergarz Yup. In fact, in Canada where Peterson lives, the laws on cohabitation are even more egregiously authoritarian, and the requirements for what qualifies as "living together" are even more loose.
Marrying the right person for you is truly one of the best things you can do in life, and marrying the wrong person is surely one of the worst. We've pretty much culturally scrapped virtues like morality, modesty, chastity, and loyalty, so people mindlessly marry bad eggs and then are shocked when they get screwed over. Like attracts like; people with no morals marry people with no morals. We all get what we deserve.
Why is it one of the best things you can do in life?
@@soflowaveboy name something better
@@tosmok lol don’t do that, answer my question first if you can
Only men are getting screwed over in marriage, and every man thinks he's found one of the "good" women when he marries her.
Men aren't getting screwed over for being blind; they're getting screwed over because women have weaponized the State against men and are using it to destroy men's lives through divorce courts, and the State is more than happy to participate. Even a woman that was a perfect angel or a saint would *_still_* have that ability to use the State against her husband, in a way no woman -- or anyone else for that matter -- should be able to.
You are generalizing. You have no idea what other's individual circumstances might be; in fact, predatory people often seek out people who are docile, unassuming, vulnerable in some sense. This is simply not a true statement but I'm sure it makes you feel like the world is perfectly ordered and safe.
This is very deep and well thought.
"Self-administered sexual interaction" is the politest way to refer to jerking off that I've ever heard 😂
Yes.. very professional 😊
This is such an interesting topic for this generation and generations to come because there is much more sexual liberation now in western society, and across the world. So many marriages and long term relationships I've observed, and even some I've been involved in, have fizzled out in terms of sexual intimacy. Many people often staying together in misery simply because of a sense of duty, or fear of being alone, or some other internal justification. This is the struggle and no relationship should be forced. More people are open to multiple partners now and polygamous relationships or solo sexual sustainability. But this is a double edged sword as this seems to be drifting to more superficial experiences akin to substance abuse. Always chasing a better high but never being fulfilled. So yes marriage is still fundamentally relevant in mainstream society, but not just for sexual intimacy, but rather for the substance of more meaningfull relationships and personal or spiritual fulfillment.
That being said... abuse is still abuse no matter what form it takes or who's doing the abusing. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help and get out. I wish you peace.
What you say in this video SHOULD be true, but sadly it isn’t in real life.
Marriage has destroyed the lives of five of my male friends from just my close friend group, and looking out of my window I can see seven male neighbours houses who’s lives have also been destroyed by marriage.
They have had everything they’ve worked for all their lives taken away after being divorced by their wives. Most of them have lost ALL access to their children.
There is a problem with what society is teaching women, until that is fixed I wouldn’t recommend marriage to any man.
Numpty : Sad but true I have simular experiences...I`m divorced once without kids and never had the courage to try it again scared for life...Reality is a whole different thing to deal with, even regognizing Jordan`s speech sounds very comforting and encouraging....
Men don't wait to things to be done, they do it themselves.
@@DRPenha sounds convincing coming from lgbtq flag name 🤡
But you guys are the ones choosing these women. I see a lot of conservative men choosing liberal women. It's similar to women who choose abusive or womanizing men. You need to make sure that her morals and values align with yours.
@@saltycat662 I agree, that morals and values have to align. But these are not characteristics that are easily perceivable from a first date. Morals and values can even be manufactured and falsely presented for years. Or even more likely, people just change. This is usually the case with women who end up with abusers and womanizers too. We all overestimate young people's ability to vet lifelong partners, especially in a dating scene that has is so shallow.
this is a really good argument for marriage
No not if you marry the right person, it’s the best thing that you will ever do
If we can go back to when the thumbnail for this video was taken, I just might consider it.
i was a virgin bride married 13 years, now a widow of 3 years... i tell you sex is not dead when you get married... i had the free est mind blowing sex with my husband...
15+ years of trying good sir. Not going to pick somone who would be a Predator to my future children.
This is amazing Jordan!
Thank you from Brazil.
Always so much wisdom from Dr. Peterson!
I don't know why people say that married life is sexless. I grew up very conservative. And in the church the women's bible study teachers would encourage wives to submit and keep a quote godly attitude and fulfil their husbands desire for sex. They taught that a woman was made as a companion and help for man and that it was God's will for wives to basically never say no to married life sex unless you were sick or otherwise in pain and unable. I'm one of four children and many other families I grew up with had 10 plus children. And surprise children are made during sex so. And TV was said to be the devil so husbands and wives had nothing else to do lol. Fast forward I dated a childhood friend and was not quote pure until marriage but I only had him as a partner. We're married now. We have a ton more sex now. Why? Idk I think when a woman feels secure and chosen there isn't a lot of fear and low self esteem that'll get in the way of her libido. When you are dating and you have sex and they haven't made you feel like the one per say it as a woman it makes you feel like maybe you aren't good enough or maybe there's another or etc. Etc. But when you are married idk for me a lot of those thoughts left and you're together so much it's easier to let your guard down and freely be affectionate towards each other. Idk what type of marriage other people have but the one I have and my parents and everyone I knew was just sex all the time. I mean bible thumpers thump more than just the bible it seems.....lol 😂
I love that ending ❤😂
Men should get married, but only to the right women, as if you don’t marry the right person, your life will become a living hell
My grandmother said "Marry in haste - repent at leisure"
Yeah he tends to avoid that part.
@@cyclone8974 Yes, because that's a excuse to escape commitment. Instead, embrace the responsibility of setting things right whether they are and be grateful that isn't worse. We don't need any more argument against marriage.
Be the right person and things will start to change around you.
@@DRPenha That's nonsensical, it's a lot more complected than he makes it sound. Luckily young people aren't as dumb as he seems to think they are, and are staying away from marriage.
My parents have been married for 38 years. My aunts and uncles have been married for over 40 years. My cousin has been married to her second husband for nearly 30 years. Marriage really is a team effort.
My aunt and uncle are merried for more than 20 years now and they're in their 50's and no one had ever seen them argue. They are getting older and older, and still behave like if they are only few months after the wedding. Truly amazing! I wish to have a love like theirs, because they are the real life example, that merrige doesn't kill anything.
I’m not on board with falling in love as it’s an emotional state no different from fear or hate. It may start out as an emotional state but in the end real love is a choice. But, I don’t think we disagree.
I love to listen to eloquent people. It‘s very satisfying! The only problem is that my motherlanguage is not english. So videos like this with a very elaborate vocabulary and a philosophical or psychological content are just overwhelming. That‘s so sad. I‘d love to really and fully understand what he is talking about.
Honestly, as a young man marriage has become somewhat of a snare for men in recent times.
I married several times. I guess I was a romantic, cause I wanted marriage, and for it to work. They were abusive once. Physical psychological and emotional. Really bad things happened to me. Now, to late I have realised I unconciously followed a pattern. Probably rooted in my early childhood. I try not to think about a partner any more. It feels to me as if I have no longer the right to do so. But I have seen beautiful long marriages. Really beautiful once, were the two are totally commited to each other.
I understand your words, your thoughts. All the best to you
You shouldn’t marry. Relationships aren’t for you. You divorced two men?
@@theskyizblue2day431 Who are you to say things like that? God no less?
Statistics increasingly and overwhelmingly say; “yes”
The problem with marriage lately is that people aren't waiting until marriage to have sex. They feel dissatisfied because thry've been prancing about with evryone for years, and using them to please themselves, and even pleasing themselves themselves! You have nothing to give your spouse anyomre. Of course your marraige will fall apart! Wait until marriage, and your marrige will be much better. Your not compairing them to other people.
I agree with you.
for most men It'd be near impossible to wait until getting married to have sex
@@ronburgundy3172 That why people need to find something to replace thought about sex, like a hobby or something positive. when in peaceful time like this men only focus on their enjoyment, if we look back in the days man need to work hard and earn more for survival and pornoghrapic content widely invaded our mind right now
@@ronburgundy3172 why is that exactly?
The Bible also says it is good for men to marry. There's a reason why God considers hedonism and lust as sins. It is damaging and dangerous.
@TheBrunswickDrunkard True it warns against marrying an awful woman but He also doesn't say it's better for men to do anything else. God doesn't excuse sin. You should marry if you can't control your lusts. Either that or remain celibate.
@@saltycat662 The apostle Paul was a fan of celebacy; but he also warned that he was talking on his own and wasn't explicitly passing on divine revelation when he said that.
I wonder, after a few centuries of cutting off offspring from priests and other godly people, if the West was basically breeding for irreligious people.
Out of all my friends and family who are married I’d say maybe 30% are good marriages. All the others I’d say one partner is bringing down the other.
I will have been married for 35 years this spring, been together with my husband for 40 years. Would I do some things differently (better) within the marriage? Yes. Do I regret being in this marriage? No! Do I feel deprived for not having had multiple partners in all this time? Also no.
The key is to consider your commitment as permanent. This seems self-evident to me, but apparently it isn't anymore. Divorce should not be an option unless there is abuse. This forces you to work out your problems and become a better person, rather than taking the easy way out and run away.
What an incredible man this is.
A Christian man needs a Proverbs 31 woman; a Proverbs 31 woman needs a Christian man worthy of a Proverbs 31 woman.
On my third marriage. The two men prior had no commitment. Finally met the love of my life. A man who makes his bed as Jordan says. He has suffered so much but yet he has maturity to understand commitment. Only 8 months into marriage and every day I become more and more in love with him. My respect and affection grows with each difficult moment we go through together
third times a charge but don't try to relieve yourself of any accountability on your prior marriage failures. it takes two to tango and you chose them, in most cases; the signs were there beforehand, respectfully.
"Life is suffering. So what do you do with that suffering? Try to reduce it!" - Jordan Peterson (2017)
One of the main reasons why I have no interest in marriage or relationships. Inviting a woman into my life would only needlessly increase my own suffering.
I wish more women actually wanted commitment rather than "friends" who they use for attention. :(
If the women you hang out with just want you to be a friend (for attention), most likely you are trying to play outside your league.
@@mikementzer9292 I stay within my brackets cause I understand that you always gotta really look at yourself first before reaching out.
This video provides very good arguments for long term serious relationships and leading a productive life. Nothing about marriage tho. Marriage is not a social institution anymore, instead it is a legal procedure and contract. Since it is so easy to get divorced, especially for women, the real value of marriage even as a contract, has been reduced to close to nothing, especially from the point of view of men.
It's supposed to be a social institution. It doesn't matter if it's easy to divorce. It shouldn't be something easily considered to the couple who are married. You and your spouse shouldn't be wanting to get a divorce. That shows that there are deep cracks in the foundation of your marriage and you better help fix it before it's too late.
even if you don't get married the government can still consider you de facto married
@@saltycat662 Doesn't matter if it's supposed to be, it's not. The government should've stayed out of it so it would solely be a spiritual ritual. Most people don't value marriage as it was originally intended, because they're incentivized not to.
The comments here are exactly what I expected.
I find being unencumbered is quite peaceful and freeing. I get so much more done and have no one dragging me into unnecessary drama and expense. I’m able to do so much more for my child now than I ever could with the speed bump women out there. If I could find a level headed woman that could be a real life partner, I would consider being with someone again but these days, I doubt that will ever happen
I feel the same way, disappointed that I live better alone, happy to be single.
ofcourse there are level-headed women just as there are level-headed men. its a character trait not a gender specific trait.
unfortunately, i doubt you would find them cause sounds like you're attracted to dramatic women who brings chaos and loads of excitement. Level-headed, reasonable, decent woman have structures, routines in order to create that peace in their life...which is boring to some men lol.
i was chaotic in my 20s and guys liked that. im now in my 30s and have learned to manage those behaviours and i find myself extremely boring now.
@@Hamyhamster24 Since reading your Comment I have changed the description of myself to Happy to be Single and Boring😁My own life has settled down after years of youthful chaos. Thank you. xx
Might as well call it the same thing as s relationship without a ceremony but it'll kill you you cam have a healthy relationship with no sex that would be nice. I was practically married to my ex. But why do they try so hard? You could just hang out.
Is marriage the death of sex? For some couples, the answer is: Absolutely yes.
I have married twice. The first time was to a man who just wasn’t mature to handle being a husband. My second is to a man who wanted a full relationship and a real partner. It has been 15 years and I can honestly say it is successful for both of us to share this existence with.
So you traded up. Not a very noble thing to do.
@@trequor charity begins putting me first.
@@FemFantastic2.0 Oof. The typical words of a snake. I wish your husband the best.
@@trequor I think one best not judge someone's life based on a small anecdote that spares most details.
@@regandonohue3899 Yes, in general. Her response was everything in this regard.
The problem with marriage today is that it's too easy to get out of, legally. No fault divorce needs to be abolished.
This man is a treasure!
I’ve been with my husband for 18 years. I’m 40. We met when I was 22 and he was 31, we were both at uni. We didn’t like eachother at first and used to argue/debate so much in seminars that everyone was shocked when we got together. He was a typical skater boy, all black metal and tattoos, and I was the nerd girl who spent her whole life in the library. But that intellectual battling we did was the thing that drew us together and we haven’t stopped since. It’s never dull , I’ll say that. We’ve been married for 10 years. It’s been an extremely tough road but we don’t give up on eachother. He has a history of abuse in his childhood, I had a BPD mother and a father who abandoned me emotionally. We’ve taken our issues out on eachother, sure, but in the spirit of challenge, we never shy away from the difficult things. And we work together. I’ve just completed 10 years of psychotherapy, and he’s just starting out with a therapist now. We always say it’s you and me against the world. And it always has been, always will be.
Loved the background mate
Need to have a cup of tea too!.🥰
It's the pill most of the time. Woman gets married uses hormonal birth control. That stuff tanks the libido many of my friends are repulsed by sexual stuff while on the pill.
This is all nice and well-intentioned but the divorce laws in the US make me say NO.
Maybe instead of whining about how you can't find a good person to marry, focus on making yourself a good person to marry.
Solid gold information.
I really wish I could speak to you in regards to what I'd experienced, and I know as I've seen it, that people can find connections with my story in their own life. As I was deeply troubled given my familial situation which was only worsened by being given an ideological idea against my maturity; which directly imposed on my ability to socialize. Creating a very insecure barrier between myself and woman. Until it'd all subsided after a motorcycle accident to which I finally found my skin. Falling in love within the same week. A psychological nightmare it was but I knew I was introspective enough along with an obsessive ability to focus on details that I could figure out what'd happened.
It gave me haunting realizations about my generation and current human social behavior, especially sexually and intimately. I essentially incorporated my shadow by falling in love; pure and bloody insanity. It was what allowed me to find my voice that I didn't have for so long; or even taking ownership of the skin I inhabited. Learning key details of human emotions, imaginations and how it all related to the superego of society. Learning that I was blind as a result of my parents actions of which the world has plenty of ways of exploiting. Such as modern hook up culture or the possession of hair triggered lust. My first thought after the accident and meeting that woman was "what have we done?" Strangely enough I consider her to be my shadow, a direct opposite. Given that the world influences both genders in very opposing ways. To essentially make true unity next to impossible which weakens men and possesses woman with power that corrupts their sight. Not something they usually see until it's too late.
Great wisdom from this man
I try my best to not self-administer my sexual interaction at the moment.
I fail at it.
But it's the challenge a lot of us have, that (almost) nobody wants to admit.
@@elektrotehnik94 Yes, but the Nofap, anti-porn movement is growing and more people are aware now.
@@in3audio932 1.) YT censored your comment, likely because of not censoring words N*f*ap, or p*rn....
2.) As I see it, it's similar to any other powerful habit - if you overuse it/ abuse it, it gets a hold on you & ruins your agency to pursue more worthy things ❤
_
I need the Daily Wire ad I've seen a few times that starts with a “narcissistic” question along the lines of: “How can I find a good partner?” that is followed with an evaluation that this question is narcissistic and a suggestion that we should strive to be good prospective partners. I can't find this ad on DW channel (but there is a different one there).
Is bait-and-switch common with them now?
Being a good partner is great; but if you're single and already doing that, you still need what you clicked for.
Marriage is a contract that rewards the person that breaks it, most divorces are initiated by women. Let's be honest, women are hypergamous even your own wife admitted to that Jordan, so why should a man risk his time and resources he's accumulated throughout his years, just to invite the govt into his bedroom. It's simply not logical. You want men to marry? change the laws.
This video was, to me, a rare instance of Peterson stringing together random gobbledegook trying to make it sound like it works together. I'm sure it looks good on paper but, like Communism, the practice just doesn't bare out
@@shadowpathfinder7723 You should see him defend MGM, if you think this is bad.
I LOVE being married. My husband is my king and he gives me the gift of being a stay at home mom. 🥰🙏❤️
It is SO much more fulfilling to know and be known by one person (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) than it could ever be sleeping around with multiple people. It’s how God designed marriage. And don’t forget that true love is not a feeling, it’s a consistent action. Please read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in the Bible to learn what I mean if you don’t know what true love is.
Of course. That's what a married person would say.