I’m experiencing this very thing as you speak about this. I know this is what they do, but it makes me feel humiliated and almost embarrassed knowing that many are believing his lies as he goes around having a smear campaign.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access her phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) Text him directly on phone +1 (601) 287-5528. or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later.
Hi Carmen, Yes this is very difficult. You stand grounded in your truth. You have no reason to feel humiliated or embarrassed. Remember, that you are moving forward in the true authentic self. Give yourself great credit for this.
My mother’s lying often became apparent because of the mocking tone of voice it came with. It was as if she was saying, “I know I’m lying and you might know I’m lying but, I think nothing of it and you and, even if you’re sure I’m lying - there’s nothing you can do about it. I can lie about anything, as often as I like and since I’m the wife of ... and you’re merely my daughter, we both know I’m the one with the most credibility so, you’ll lose every time and, if you challenge me, I’ll destroy you, which was my intent to begin with, long before you started peeling back the layers.” It got to the point, last year where I told her that I knew she was lying because her eyes were open. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt as, she used to seem to be a good mother but, it all became so painfully obvious. I can only be glad that I had her sign legal papers for the money I lent her last year. It was likely the only thing that ensured I got repaid and not have to drag her ass into court. I, particularly, felt this once I lent her money and she, immediately started calling, asking for thousands of dollars, every few days. There was such mocking artifice that I just started lying back and said I had no more. I look back on it and, with what I’ve learned about her and narcissism, the goal was likely to make me destitute and, if I’d lost my job on top of that, it would be, “What money? You didn’t lend ME money. (adding a smirk).” All of these decades, I thought my mother’s 3 husbands were the problem. Now, I know better.
Arizona I don’t think anyone sees me as being in a position of power. I don’t either. Economically, she’s giving my sister a house and, although she has said that I have more than my sister, the intent isn’t to even things out. It is to put my sister, who’s mostly been absent the past few decades, who is poor as Hell and works 4 jobs, ahead of me. My mother is in an absolute heat to show me how I can be replaced so, she’s going to give my sister a house, likely worth at least $1/4 million and transfer all of the work I’ve done for her personally and for the family business to my sister, like I never existed. Problem is, my sister is going to not only be heavily taxed by my mother’s every want and need, but she’ll have a steep learning curve. If she’s lucky, she’ll get the 1 hour/night of sleep my mother thinks is appropriate for the work that needs to be done, while my mother acts like a lady of leisure. For me, for the most part, although I often feel that there is something brewing in the unknown of low contact, I’m merely separate. While I do realize that my mother will be enraged by her decision to scapegoat and exile me, although I’ve discarded her, as well, there’s nothing I intend to do to help her or my sister. In my mind, I have in store for them, what they both have in mind for me, with the exception that I simply don’t have to lift a finger or be present for any of it. But again, I don’t feel a position of power. I know that I’m alone and, although I have a decent job, my life is precarious. I’m trying to date but, it’s more difficult as one ages. My health could also take a turn for the worst. I’m so sorry that you have the issues with your mom that you do. It is painful and one is often left feeling as if they “fell for something” because they had the decency to answer the phone. I’ve not heard it said but, what works for me in a lot of situations is simple replacement. What I mean by this and I know it sounds stupidly easy, is to not think about your mother, by diverting your attention towards something else. As bad a word as “distraction” usually is, I find that feelings of anxiety, depression, rage are often shorter-lived, when I simply do something else. It is on a case by case basis and it depends upon your personal psychological makeup, as well as the depth of your narcissistic dynamic and whether or not you must engage with them often. But, I know for me, I do have it easy to the extent that I don’t live with my family and I only pick up the phone to avoid her calling my workplace and me having to haul her ass into court. Other than that, I only hear from her now about every 3-4 months. It hangs over my head that after almost committing suicide during the recession that my financial future has been further darkened by my narcissistic family dynamic so, I’m not worry-free. But, I do try to distract myself from ruminating about it constantly as, I only really discovered my mother’s narcissism early last year and so it still feels a bit new and freshly-painful in some ways. But, I do compare it to me having to be in her midst and as I’m not much of a shit taker, it would be WW 3.
Arizona well, my sister may have long been jealous. She always seemed to be the black sheep, from childhood and into her adulthood. We had “different types” of friends than one another. Her friends, I wouldn’t associate with. Through the years, as the unwitting Golden Child, I could not help but to wonder why she just didn’t mind our mother, who always seemed to have the best in mind for us. Our mother pushed for our education and successes as, she wasn’t always narcissistic or at least identifiably so. But, my sister seemed to be the troubled one. But, I’ll never know whether the purpose of her pushing us, was as a result of narcissistic mirroring. Just a few years ago, I had a rare phone conversation with my sister. Rare because I usually only saw her during the holidays. She expressed frustration that, whenever she had a phone conversation with mom, mom was always talking about me. So, I felt that it was something she’d long carried and couldn’t overcome. That she’d always felt like a failure, who could do nothing right, destined to fail for the rest of her life. So, she may have actually been scapegoated without me realizing it all of these years. She is not as dumb as her lack of confidence in herself outlines. As a child, she may have sensed being scapegoated but, of course, could not articulate it to herself. But, what I believe has happened is that, now in my mother’s old age, although she’d long depended upon me for my skills and maybe even being a sounding board as, I’d been her confidante during her 3rd marriage, my mother now sees more value in my sister’s weaknesses. Her emotional and financial desperation makes her an apt victim. My sister is absolutely desperate for the last parent not to die. She will believe anything my mother says and does out of convenience, desperation and envy of me. Now that she’s inheriting a home up the street from our mother, way ahead of me, as I am the eldest and one who did all of the work over the past few decades, things are finally “right” in her eyes somehow, although I wouldn’t call things “right” if it had gone in my favor either, knowing what I now.know. When someone is envious of you, even if by the person who increased their envy, all they can see is that their foe is finally being defeated and cast to Hell. But, as enraged as I can become at my sister since she is verbally-abusive in defense of our mother, and I’ve cut her off completely, I feel sorry for her also. I also feel sorry for mom. Why? Because the house she’s receiving is a Trojan horse. She is being given the house for a few reasons. It alleviates my mother of paying property taxes, while capturing an indentured servant. A servant who will soon find that she cannot express her opinion, that between her 4 jobs, she may not be able to maintain the property, that the help my mother is saying she will provide her may evaporate, based upon mom’s fickle whim, that she will do everything my mother has decided not to anymore. Understand that my mother is not beyond absolutely crippling herself in an effort to ensure that others are doing for her. I’ve long begged her to take care of her diabetes but, she is disinterested, despite the neuropathy she now has. The neuropathy will help to set the stage for her doing absolutely nothing and my sister doing absolutely every.single.thing. As it was last year, it seemed that my mother wanted me to incur all expenses and efforts of running the family business, while the few dollars there were went into her bank account. I was also under the impression that she wanted me to come there to care for her 2 cats, daily, while she just lived there. So, I believe that, as self-sufficient and independent as my mother had always been known to be, she may have apparently come to the conclusion that her working days are over and ours have just begun. She is uninterested in the fact that we need to survive. She is uninterested in my 1 job and my sister’s 4 jobs and I don’t think my sister is aware of our mother’s growing lack of empathy. What this means is that, if your livelihood is interfering with her needs and the needs of the family business, she’ll work to loosen the screws under that for you. It is done circuitously to ensure she has no responsibility for the loss of a job. For her, the economics of it have no meaning or are your personal problem. The same goes for sleep. One hour per night, which she hasn’t been above herself, should suffice. So, sans myself, we’re talking about a cult of 2 people. In addition, I do still feel sorry for my mother. Because, if my sister ever catches wind of what is going on and recalls my warnings of narcissism, may decide to predate mom, as well. I don’t want to be anywhere around when this either starts further deteriorating or going sideways. Either way, I will likely end up with nothing anyway. Any engagement will only likely end in abuse and destitution for me. At this point, although it turns me into someone I never thought I’d ever become, I only allow low contact from my mother in the off chance that I’ll be left anything from my efforts over the years. I already know that I have 2 inflamed people living just minutes away. Inflamed because, as I built my mother’s personal and business websites and edited her artwork over the years, while my sister did none of that and didn’t understand how to do any of that, I am the one who’s in possession of all of the materials. I am the only one out of the 3 of us who understands how to edit the family business websites. They’re going to continuously smack into the reality that it cannot be said that I’ve done nothing, when I maintain possession of everything, including the knowledge of how handle it. They’ll be further enraged when any requests of me fall on deaf ears. But, be glad that you have your husband in your life. As much as they are my angels, I have 2 cats. No people. I have no friends, other than coworkers, which makes it highly conditional. I often have difficulty plowing through my life to get things done. Learning of and being educated on my family’s narcissistic dynamic has been a HUGE help for me. But, in doing so, I’ve also sat and read, listened and watched, to the point where I’ve lost a great deal of muscle tone in that spans of time, as if I were in great shape to begin with. Typical to being the victim or target of narcissistic abuse, I have no one who comprehends my situation. If anything, I probably come off as looking like I am neglectful of a loving mother, who is just a bit cranky and, this, despite the fact that I’ve outlined my mother’s efforts in detail. Narcissism is a horrible nightmare when you’re in a love relationship with a narcissist. But, I suspect that it “may” be worse when it’s a parent because anyone you convey your situation to typically has a love affair with the idea of the loving parent. It is outside of common decency to not be able to recognize this love - even when it’s actually abuse. No matter the culture, no matter your age and no matter the abuse, filial piety is the order of the day - during and after the life of your parents.
Hi Private, This is an excellent analysis of the complex process of lying that you experienced. Give yourself great credit for understanding what was going on. Great insight!
Healing After the Narcissist thank you so much and thank you for all of your work, insight and expertise, including reminders to love and care for ourselves.❤️
If course, today, a friend of mine, in talking about her own situation with her aging parents, said that her brother now has the opportunity to step up to the plate to help care for their parents. She knows about my situation, yet, she was talking to me, as well and not just about her brother. If I were stepping up to the plate just now, like my sister, I’d be owed about 35 years of being there for my mother, now that she’s turned on me. But, this is the plight of targets and victims of narcissistic abuse, particularly when a parent is the narcissist. The parent is abusing, smearing, sabotaging. Heck, they can even kill your pets and set your house on fire and there will always be people in droves, placing their hand in your shoulder, telling you, “But, you know you’re mother really loves you.” You feel like you want to be a fire breathing dragon in their face, screaming, “Have you comprehended ANYTHING I’ve told you!!!???” They’re sooo in love with the idea that a parent loves their child unconditionally and without question, they simply can’t afford for the fairytale in their head to be disturbed by the truth. It comes to my mind that I am fortunate to not have been abused as a child. I cannot imagine the utter sickness and confusion of a child, who is abused by their parent and sole means of sustenance and to have it compounded by the entire world telling them to mind their parents and that their parents truly love them. I, as an adult, feel it is absolutely MADDENING!!! You are isolated by the narcissistic dynamic alone and, then, you have people defend them - who don’t even know them, who feel you just aren’t being a decent adult child by not being a whipped slave and, sometimes, that is because they’ve accepted that in their own lives.
The pathological liars may fool us. However, there's the all-time seeing eyes of the universe's Maker who never lies to those who seek and tell the truth. Praise and Glory to Him!! Happy weekend to you, Dr. Linda, and God bless!!
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access her phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) Text him directly on phone +1 (601) 287-5528. or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access her phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) Text him directly on phone +1 (601) 287-5528. or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later.
Yep. My mother called the police in 3 towns looking for me as, I’d not returned her 13 calls the day before. Two hours later, after I’d spoken with the police, she said she’d not called me 13 times the day before, once that morning, hadn’t called the police either. Only she lives in her house. Obviously, I have the evidence on my phone that she called, the police stations have the evidence and probably her voice on those calls and I have the evidence of a police officer ringing my doorbell on video. I had turned in late so, I slept in and didn’t know until 2 hours later there was even someone at my door. Her response? “The lengths people will go through!” Could be schema. Could be a bit of dementia. But, there’s definitely NPD in there. There’s no real shock. She wouldn’t care if the police brought her in and made her listen to her own phone calls. I’ve also been in conversations with her where she will deny something, followed up by the fact that she felt she had the right to do what I’d asked her not to, like call my workplace. So, it isn’t about forgetting. It’s about disregarding boundaries. She doesn’t care about my boundaries, she doesn’t care that my employer might come after her, she doesn’t care if the police were to find that she’s using them for stalking. But, she tries to get away with it by acting as if she doesn’t know anything about what she did. The good thing is that these intermittent reminders of her behavior perpetuate no contact with her. When I start to feel nostalgic and wish that, somehow, her behavior will soften, she manages to step up and remind me of what I logically know and that is that she will never improve.
I feel like my narc husband is always lying to me but what do you do if you have no proof. He will tell you he's going to the supermarket but will be gone for hours. He'll tell you he plans to carry out one thing that you supposedly came to a resolution/agreement about, but goes behind your back and does the exact opposite. It's almost as if you never had the conversation. He'll lock his phone and laptop so you can't observe what he's doing.
My narc father has been dead for 2 years and I just found out a month ago that I have yet one more sibling who is 20 years younger than I am. we linked our DNA on ancestry. i had no idea that this young man existed an I expect more to come forward as these DNA profiling sites become more prevalent my father literally had 5 lives going at one time I believe. I was always raised as an only child and now I know that I have two sisters and a brother.
Rich_Recluse When you submit your DNA into ancestry.com it links you to the people who are already registered on ancestry. if those people decide to submit their DNA it tells you how close your gene sequences are. and this young man popped up is my brother he was so close to me Biologically, he was closer than my first cousins. it says this person is either your Grandfather your uncle or your nephew or your brother. And for my situation, a brother is the only option. you should check it out, it's pretty neat. I wasn't looking for lost siblings I was looking at where my ancestors came from but his profile was linked to mine.
Hi Simon. The money is very often hidden so you do your research in advance and make sure that you take very good care of yourself. Thank you for your comment.
Yes, Susie, it is crazymaking. The narcissist is counting on us to believe their lies. As we get distance from the narcissist and know the truth, we are grounded in the truth as you are. Thank you for your comment and support.
I’m experiencing this very thing as you speak about this. I know this is what they do, but it makes me feel humiliated and almost embarrassed knowing that many are believing his lies as he goes around having a smear campaign.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access her phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) Text him directly on phone +1 (601) 287-5528. or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later.
Hi Carmen, Yes this is very difficult. You stand grounded in your truth. You have no reason to feel humiliated or embarrassed. Remember, that you are moving forward in the true authentic self. Give yourself great credit for this.
My mother’s lying often became apparent because of the mocking tone of voice it came with. It was as if she was saying, “I know I’m lying and you might know I’m lying but, I think nothing of it and you and, even if you’re sure I’m lying - there’s nothing you can do about it. I can lie about anything, as often as I like and since I’m the wife of ... and you’re merely my daughter, we both know I’m the one with the most credibility so, you’ll lose every time and, if you challenge me, I’ll destroy you, which was my intent to begin with, long before you started peeling back the layers.”
It got to the point, last year where I told her that I knew she was lying because her eyes were open. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt as, she used to seem to be a good mother but, it all became so painfully obvious. I can only be glad that I had her sign legal papers for the money I lent her last year. It was likely the only thing that ensured I got repaid and not have to drag her ass into court. I, particularly, felt this once I lent her money and she, immediately started calling, asking for thousands of dollars, every few days. There was such mocking artifice that I just started lying back and said I had no more. I look back on it and, with what I’ve learned about her and narcissism, the goal was likely to make me destitute and, if I’d lost my job on top of that, it would be, “What money? You didn’t lend ME money. (adding a smirk).”
All of these decades, I thought my mother’s 3 husbands were the problem. Now, I know better.
Arizona I don’t think anyone sees me as being in a position of power. I don’t either. Economically, she’s giving my sister a house and, although she has said that I have more than my sister, the intent isn’t to even things out. It is to put my sister, who’s mostly been absent the past few decades, who is poor as Hell and works 4 jobs, ahead of me. My mother is in an absolute heat to show me how I can be replaced so, she’s going to give my sister a house, likely worth at least $1/4 million and transfer all of the work I’ve done for her personally and for the family business to my sister, like I never existed. Problem is, my sister is going to not only be heavily taxed by my mother’s every want and need, but she’ll have a steep learning curve. If she’s lucky, she’ll get the 1 hour/night of sleep my mother thinks is appropriate for the work that needs to be done, while my mother acts like a lady of leisure.
For me, for the most part, although I often feel that there is something brewing in the unknown of low contact, I’m merely separate. While I do realize that my mother will be enraged by her decision to scapegoat and exile me, although I’ve discarded her, as well, there’s nothing I intend to do to help her or my sister. In my mind, I have in store for them, what they both have in mind for me, with the exception that I simply don’t have to lift a finger or be present for any of it.
But again, I don’t feel a position of power. I know that I’m alone and, although I have a decent job, my life is precarious. I’m trying to date but, it’s more difficult as one ages. My health could also take a turn for the worst.
I’m so sorry that you have the issues with your mom that you do. It is painful and one is often left feeling as if they “fell for something” because they had the decency to answer the phone.
I’ve not heard it said but, what works for me in a lot of situations is simple replacement. What I mean by this and I know it sounds stupidly easy, is to not think about your mother, by diverting your attention towards something else. As bad a word as “distraction” usually is, I find that feelings of anxiety, depression, rage are often shorter-lived, when I simply do something else. It is on a case by case basis and it depends upon your personal psychological makeup, as well as the depth of your narcissistic dynamic and whether or not you must engage with them often. But, I know for me, I do have it easy to the extent that I don’t live with my family and I only pick up the phone to avoid her calling my workplace and me having to haul her ass into court. Other than that, I only hear from her now about every 3-4 months. It hangs over my head that after almost committing suicide during the recession that my financial future has been further darkened by my narcissistic family dynamic so, I’m not worry-free. But, I do try to distract myself from ruminating about it constantly as, I only really discovered my mother’s narcissism early last year and so it still feels a bit new and freshly-painful in some ways. But, I do compare it to me having to be in her midst and as I’m not much of a shit taker, it would be WW 3.
Arizona well, my sister may have long been jealous. She always seemed to be the black sheep, from childhood and into her adulthood. We had “different types” of friends than one another. Her friends, I wouldn’t associate with. Through the years, as the unwitting Golden Child, I could not help but to wonder why she just didn’t mind our mother, who always seemed to have the best in mind for us. Our mother pushed for our education and successes as, she wasn’t always narcissistic or at least identifiably so. But, my sister seemed to be the troubled one. But, I’ll never know whether the purpose of her pushing us, was as a result of narcissistic mirroring.
Just a few years ago, I had a rare phone conversation with my sister. Rare because I usually only saw her during the holidays. She expressed frustration that, whenever she had a phone conversation with mom, mom was always talking about me. So, I felt that it was something she’d long carried and couldn’t overcome. That she’d always felt like a failure, who could do nothing right, destined to fail for the rest of her life. So, she may have actually been scapegoated without me realizing it all of these years. She is not as dumb as her lack of confidence in herself outlines. As a child, she may have sensed being scapegoated but, of course, could not articulate it to herself.
But, what I believe has happened is that, now in my mother’s old age, although she’d long depended upon me for my skills and maybe even being a sounding board as, I’d been her confidante during her 3rd marriage, my mother now sees more value in my sister’s weaknesses. Her emotional and financial desperation makes her an apt victim. My sister is absolutely desperate for the last parent not to die. She will believe anything my mother says and does out of convenience, desperation and envy of me. Now that she’s inheriting a home up the street from our mother, way ahead of me, as I am the eldest and one who did all of the work over the past few decades, things are finally “right” in her eyes somehow, although I wouldn’t call things “right” if it had gone in my favor either, knowing what I now.know. When someone is envious of you, even if by the person who increased their envy, all they can see is that their foe is finally being defeated and cast to Hell.
But, as enraged as I can become at my sister since she is verbally-abusive in defense of our mother, and I’ve cut her off completely, I feel sorry for her also. I also feel sorry for mom.
Why? Because the house she’s receiving is a Trojan horse. She is being given the house for a few reasons. It alleviates my mother of paying property taxes, while capturing an indentured servant. A servant who will soon find that she cannot express her opinion, that between her 4 jobs, she may not be able to maintain the property, that the help my mother is saying she will provide her may evaporate, based upon mom’s fickle whim, that she will do everything my mother has decided not to anymore. Understand that my mother is not beyond absolutely crippling herself in an effort to ensure that others are doing for her. I’ve long begged her to take care of her diabetes but, she is disinterested, despite the neuropathy she now has. The neuropathy will help to set the stage for her doing absolutely nothing and my sister doing absolutely every.single.thing. As it was last year, it seemed that my mother wanted me to incur all expenses and efforts of running the family business, while the few dollars there were went into her bank account. I was also under the impression that she wanted me to come there to care for her 2 cats, daily, while she just lived there. So, I believe that, as self-sufficient and independent as my mother had always been known to be, she may have apparently come to the conclusion that her working days are over and ours have just begun. She is uninterested in the fact that we need to survive. She is uninterested in my 1 job and my sister’s 4 jobs and I don’t think my sister is aware of our mother’s growing lack of empathy. What this means is that, if your livelihood is interfering with her needs and the needs of the family business, she’ll work to loosen the screws under that for you. It is done circuitously to ensure she has no responsibility for the loss of a job. For her, the economics of it have no meaning or are your personal problem. The same goes for sleep. One hour per night, which she hasn’t been above herself, should suffice.
So, sans myself, we’re talking about a cult of 2 people.
In addition, I do still feel sorry for my mother. Because, if my sister ever catches wind of what is going on and recalls my warnings of narcissism, may decide to predate mom, as well. I don’t want to be anywhere around when this either starts further deteriorating or going sideways. Either way, I will likely end up with nothing anyway. Any engagement will only likely end in abuse and destitution for me. At this point, although it turns me into someone I never thought I’d ever become, I only allow low contact from my mother in the off chance that I’ll be left anything from my efforts over the years.
I already know that I have 2 inflamed people living just minutes away. Inflamed because, as I built my mother’s personal and business websites and edited her artwork over the years, while my sister did none of that and didn’t understand how to do any of that, I am the one who’s in possession of all of the materials. I am the only one out of the 3 of us who understands how to edit the family business websites. They’re going to continuously smack into the reality that it cannot be said that I’ve done nothing, when I maintain possession of everything, including the knowledge of how handle it. They’ll be further enraged when any requests of me fall on deaf ears.
But, be glad that you have your husband in your life. As much as they are my angels, I have 2 cats. No people. I have no friends, other than coworkers, which makes it highly conditional. I often have difficulty plowing through my life to get things done. Learning of and being educated on my family’s narcissistic dynamic has been a HUGE help for me. But, in doing so, I’ve also sat and read, listened and watched, to the point where I’ve lost a great deal of muscle tone in that spans of time, as if I were in great shape to begin with. Typical to being the victim or target of narcissistic abuse, I have no one who comprehends my situation. If anything, I probably come off as looking like I am neglectful of a loving mother, who is just a bit cranky and, this, despite the fact that I’ve outlined my mother’s efforts in detail.
Narcissism is a horrible nightmare when you’re in a love relationship with a narcissist. But, I suspect that it “may” be worse when it’s a parent because anyone you convey your situation to typically has a love affair with the idea of the loving parent. It is outside of common decency to not be able to recognize this love - even when it’s actually abuse. No matter the culture, no matter your age and no matter the abuse, filial piety is the order of the day - during and after the life of your parents.
Hi Private, This is an excellent analysis of the complex process of lying that you experienced. Give yourself great credit for understanding what was going on. Great insight!
Healing After the Narcissist thank you so much and thank you for all of your work, insight and expertise, including reminders to love and care for ourselves.❤️
If course, today, a friend of mine, in talking about her own situation with her aging parents, said that her brother now has the opportunity to step up to the plate to help care for their parents. She knows about my situation, yet, she was talking to me, as well and not just about her brother.
If I were stepping up to the plate just now, like my sister, I’d be owed about 35 years of being there for my mother, now that she’s turned on me.
But, this is the plight of targets and victims of narcissistic abuse, particularly when a parent is the narcissist. The parent is abusing, smearing, sabotaging. Heck, they can even kill your pets and set your house on fire and there will always be people in droves, placing their hand in your shoulder, telling you, “But, you know you’re mother really loves you.” You feel like you want to be a fire breathing dragon in their face, screaming, “Have you comprehended ANYTHING I’ve told you!!!???” They’re sooo in love with the idea that a parent loves their child unconditionally and without question, they simply can’t afford for the fairytale in their head to be disturbed by the truth.
It comes to my mind that I am fortunate to not have been abused as a child. I cannot imagine the utter sickness and confusion of a child, who is abused by their parent and sole means of sustenance and to have it compounded by the entire world telling them to mind their parents and that their parents truly love them.
I, as an adult, feel it is absolutely MADDENING!!! You are isolated by the narcissistic dynamic alone and, then, you have people defend them - who don’t even know them, who feel you just aren’t being a decent adult child by not being a whipped slave and, sometimes, that is because they’ve accepted that in their own lives.
The pathological liars may fool us. However, there's the all-time seeing eyes of the universe's Maker who never lies to those who seek and tell the truth. Praise and Glory to Him!! Happy weekend to you, Dr. Linda, and God bless!!
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access her phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) Text him directly on phone +1 (601) 287-5528. or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later.
Hi Julie, Thank you for your contribution. The Truth knows everything and protects all of us.
They have no conscience
I love it when you post a new video. Absolutely uncanny. It is more often than not exactly what issue I happen to be dealing with. Thank You!
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access her phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) Text him directly on phone +1 (601) 287-5528. or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later.
Thank you for your kind words and I am glad to hear that I am on time with the videos. I appreciate your support and response.
I'm a 1st Time Viewer. I found this talk of value, as I endured 16 years of my Journey with a narcissist... That leg of it Taught me so much.
I love your videos, they hold all the truth of today's toxic people. Thank Dr Martinez you have helped me a lot in my healing journey.
Hi Wanda, Thank you for your kind words and your response. It is very supportive. I continue with the videos. I deeply appreciate your feedback.
Always hire a private eye when dealing with the narc in court.
Yep. My mother called the police in 3 towns looking for me as, I’d not returned her 13 calls the day before. Two hours later, after I’d spoken with the police, she said she’d not called me 13 times the day before, once that morning, hadn’t called the police either. Only she lives in her house. Obviously, I have the evidence on my phone that she called, the police stations have the evidence and probably her voice on those calls and I have the evidence of a police officer ringing my doorbell on video. I had turned in late so, I slept in and didn’t know until 2 hours later there was even someone at my door. Her response? “The lengths people will go through!”
Could be schema. Could be a bit of dementia. But, there’s definitely NPD in there. There’s no real shock. She wouldn’t care if the police brought her in and made her listen to her own phone calls. I’ve also been in conversations with her where she will deny something, followed up by the fact that she felt she had the right to do what I’d asked her not to, like call my workplace. So, it isn’t about forgetting. It’s about disregarding boundaries. She doesn’t care about my boundaries, she doesn’t care that my employer might come after her, she doesn’t care if the police were to find that she’s using them for stalking. But, she tries to get away with it by acting as if she doesn’t know anything about what she did.
The good thing is that these intermittent reminders of her behavior perpetuate no contact with her. When I start to feel nostalgic and wish that, somehow, her behavior will soften, she manages to step up and remind me of what I logically know and that is that she will never improve.
I feel like my narc husband is always lying to me but what do you do if you have no proof. He will tell you he's going to the supermarket but will be gone for hours. He'll tell you he plans to carry out one thing that you supposedly came to a resolution/agreement about, but goes behind your back and does the exact opposite. It's almost as if you never had the conversation. He'll lock his phone and laptop so you can't observe what he's doing.
-_- MAN!!..THEY LIE!!😥
Hi Dee, Yes, they are always lying. This is a "skill" they have learned since the early childhood. They do not have a fully developed conscience.
Excellent as always!
My narc father has been dead for 2 years and I just found out a month ago that I have yet one more sibling who is 20 years younger than I am. we linked our DNA on ancestry. i had no idea that this young man existed an I expect more to come forward as these DNA profiling sites become more prevalent my father literally had 5 lives going at one time I believe. I was always raised as an only child and now I know that I have two sisters and a brother.
Just how did u link ur DNA with someone who u did not know existed?
Rich_Recluse When you submit your DNA into ancestry.com it links you to the people who are already registered on ancestry. if those people decide to submit their DNA it tells you how close your gene sequences are. and this young man popped up is my brother he was so close to me Biologically, he was closer than my first cousins. it says this person is either your Grandfather your uncle or your nephew or your brother. And for my situation, a brother is the only option. you should check it out, it's pretty neat. I wasn't looking for lost siblings I was looking at where my ancestors came from but his profile was linked to mine.
@@Poppi_Weasel She said: SHE HAD HER DNA DONE on Ancestry which links you to all who share your DNA.
@@jennmemphis Wow. Never knew that...
@@jennmemphis I would never do this, but this is very interesting to know. Thanks for sharing.
On Divorcing you're Narc, you ALWAYS have to play the "Where's the Money Hidden" game....
Hi Simon. The money is very often hidden so you do your research in advance and make sure that you take very good care of yourself. Thank you for your comment.
They live in their own lies.Accordingly, to their fables.
It is their style of attachment . They know the result.Surrounded by bad ppl.
It is crazy-making!....
Yes, Susie, it is crazymaking. The narcissist is counting on us to believe their lies. As we get distance from the narcissist and know the truth, we are grounded in the truth as you are. Thank you for your comment and support.
The 1 thumb down is probably the ex hubby 🤣
Yes, a Cluster B subhumoon lol human or flying minion lol.You might be right Sarah.
More like ex wife.
Good video
Thank you Eva!