From a mother of 3 with absolutely no family support this episode was so spot on! So Educational. Insightful. Validating. Emotional. Humorous. I wish I had this before I started my journey. 🙏🏽
She is 100% accurate. You give up almost everything for children. Without support it is extremely difficult. My mother was a teacher, I lived down the street. At 330 everyday for wee(s she came over so I could have a shower, and we could bathe the baby. My mother in law babysat for a couple of hours on the weekend so my husband and I could go out to dinner or a movie. RIP Gma Winnie and Gma Ophie.
I am in an emotionally abusive very toxic relationship and let me just say watching Lisa and Tom converse was so peaceful and refreshing. The whole time I was waiting for Tom to tell Lisa she was wrong and her emotions don’t matter but it never came.
This was such high quality information from a high quality woman!! Amazing episode. Also Lisa is such an epic interviewer!! Her laughs enthusiasm and psychological digging abilities are so unique and unparalleled. Thank you ladies your are absolutely examplary 🙏🏻💎
What a different conversation about what is best for children. How refreshing, yet will this ever be really recognized? Next to pre-marital councilling, this needs to include this. Going back to supportive extended families solves this issue for women. This is something society needs to go back to. Change daycares to be playcare for socialization and return to family-extended family systems. I love everything this beautiful woman speaks as I see same.
I love this episode! Such a great topic of discussion. As hard of a job it has been, for myself personally-it has been my greatest calling in my life. Thank you for shining a light on such a tender subject.
There’s nothing like experience that is honest. We need more ways to create awareness. If I didn’t believe things were meant to be because they happened and are lessons to learn. Thank so much ❤
Its a beautiful thing to have a child... But yeasss absolutly are any of us really prepaired.. No! does it take tramendouse CHANGE and TRANSFORMATION. As an Integrated single parent, I intend to make everything I do now a conscious choice.. I may want kids again, but only with the right, most highest match of a partner and always choose Conscious Communication for Our Relational Partnership
The truth is if you're with the right person that child will not come between you and your partner that's usually a sign you with the wrong person, You can spread your love and have enough love for an entire family! kids are the biggest blessing in the world! I completely respect people that do not want to have children.I just always feel sorry for them because of all the beauty they're missing out on of not having children! I said my whole life that I would never have kids so it's actually funny that I'm so maternal now and love children. And I'm not gonna make it sound like it's all good because it's been h*** having kids there's so many emotions and so much a mother goes through in form of change and identity, but it's just I can't even explain how beautiful it is to have a baby and to raise a child and see them grow and the pride you feel🥰
You don't need to feel sorry for couples who don't want kids. It's also conscious decision, cause clearly it's a lot of work, responsibility and nowadays your life can be filled with love and joy without children, otherwise it's selfish if you need kids to feel loved. I know caring women without kids. I really enjoy the freedom in my life and flexibility, my partner is an entrepreneur who doesn't have enough time for a kid and I don't want to raise a kid basically on my own than. Also kid's aren't always the big blessing, I know many people who regret it, but society views down on them and still on women who don't want kids. I know so many women complaining a lot about motherhood, so I have mixed feelings and being 33 I feel to old... in my 50ies I want peace and calm and not a teenager or college kid to take care of
I am 35 and still thinking if I really want kids. I work with preschoolers and I have to say it's becoming so difficult to raise emotionally stable kids. Besides, today's society is such a mess, that I am really questioning if that tiny little unborn human would like to be part of it 😂
Yep, using the other person's insecurities against them ruins marriages. Mine was ruined by my ex's unapologetic use of poison-tipped arrows are things I struggled for years to heal from. I hate that we teach kids this insane and gaslighting BS: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Words hurt worse than broken bones and for longer.
Omg as a woman who didn’t have the motherly instinct and I was pressured to have kids and ended up having a kid at 37 because I knew I needed to vs being a wish it was very very it is very very difficult now I feel sooooo guilty for not embracing those early years
1:47:00 I am so grateful to a partner if they don't counteract to my hurt and nervousness... it takes conscience and heart to handle... this matters a LOT in a man!
Love this topic. Im on a mission to become the best parent!!!!... But OMG!!! I need your shoes Lisa!!! 😍😍😍😍 and how you wear them 🙌 you're so!!! Love your present and confidence 🙌😍
I wish more the the questions were directed from someone who actually wants children, childfree perspectives are important but so are those from those who want children.
My standard 7/grade 9 school teacher told us this, "do you want to know what kills love btwn 2 ppl - BABY" of course she was talking abt before marriage bt honestly I think implications are the same
One think that people need to consider too is that you get what you get. There's a high percentage of autism these days, greater chance of birth defects and having a child with special needs especially at a later age. And you'll be responsible for them your entire life, not just until 18 or after college. Also be ready to love and accept your child no matter whether they're like you or the complete opposite of you, if they turn out to be non-binary, trans, etc. or an ugly kid. Lol
Hi Shefali...I need help. I have two young daughters. I got separated from my husband last year...actually it was my daughters who took me out of the domestic violence relationship. However, I am still connected to my husband and somehow the circumstances I have taking his help for the past few months. I have been talking to my husband about our kids despite the girls telling me that I should not. Now they have a feeling that I am not telling them the truth and sharing everything with their father. I really want to connect with them but they are not giving me the platform for an easy conversation. They have a bubble around them which I can't get through. The truth is that I have no feelings for my husband and don't want to be with him ..I feel lonely and left out by my daughters. On the other hand my husband desperately wants me back in his life.
In my opinion, he does not want you back because he values you but because he misses what you used to do for him. By staying with him, you are teaching your daughters that abuse is normal. Not a lesson you want them to learn. If he doesn’t value you, he also doesn’t value his daughters and they deserve better and you need to show them how to set healthy boundaries. Do not throw them in the parent role
This is why get a pet first before having a child because un like children pets depend on u constantly where as children will eventually grow up and push u away but pets won’t because they don’t have the vocabulary so they can tell u 2 leave them alone but human children do because when they become teens they will want 2 push u away and u have 2 be tough and take it with pride and find something else 2 keep u busy but when pets grow up they can’t do that
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
From a mother of 3 with absolutely no family support this episode was so spot on! So Educational. Insightful. Validating. Emotional. Humorous. I wish I had this before I started my journey. 🙏🏽
She is 100% accurate. You give up almost everything for children. Without support it is extremely difficult. My mother was a teacher, I lived down the street. At 330 everyday for wee(s she came over so I could have a shower, and we could bathe the baby. My mother in law babysat for a couple of hours on the weekend so my husband and I could go out to dinner or a movie. RIP Gma Winnie and Gma Ophie.
How you speak to each other you and Tom, and how to see how present you are when he speaks 🙌 that's why you two are inspiring
I am in an emotionally abusive very toxic relationship and let me just say watching Lisa and Tom converse was so peaceful and refreshing. The whole time I was waiting for Tom to tell Lisa she was wrong and her emotions don’t matter but it never came.
This was such high quality information from a high quality woman!! Amazing episode. Also Lisa is such an epic interviewer!! Her laughs enthusiasm and psychological digging abilities are so unique and unparalleled. Thank you ladies your are absolutely examplary 🙏🏻💎
Thank you! I am healing as I’m watching this video. Blessings to all watching.🙏
What a different conversation about what is best for children. How refreshing, yet will this ever be really recognized? Next to pre-marital councilling, this needs to include this. Going back to supportive extended families solves this issue for women. This is something society needs to go back to. Change daycares to be playcare for socialization and return to family-extended family systems.
I love everything this beautiful woman speaks as I see same.
I love this episode! Such a great topic of discussion. As hard of a job it has been, for myself personally-it has been my greatest calling in my life. Thank you for shining a light on such a tender subject.
I feel the same.
There’s nothing like experience that is honest. We need more ways to create awareness. If I didn’t believe things were meant to be because they happened and are lessons to learn. Thank so much ❤
Its a beautiful thing to have a child... But yeasss absolutly are any of us really prepaired.. No! does it take tramendouse CHANGE and TRANSFORMATION. As an Integrated single parent, I intend to make everything I do now a conscious choice.. I may want kids again, but only with the right, most highest match of a partner and always choose Conscious Communication for Our Relational Partnership
Is this woman related to Esther Perel? It’s incredible how similar the intonation is.
Love Dr shefali. She changed my life
The truth is if you're with the right person that child will not come between you and your partner that's usually a sign you with the wrong person, You can spread your love and have enough love for an entire family! kids are the biggest blessing in the world! I completely respect people that do not want to have children.I just always feel sorry for them because of all the beauty they're missing out on of not having children! I said my whole life that I would never have kids so it's actually funny that I'm so maternal now and love children. And I'm not gonna make it sound like it's all good because it's been h*** having kids there's so many emotions and so much a mother goes through in form of change and identity, but it's just I can't even explain how beautiful it is to have a baby and to raise a child and see them grow and the pride you feel🥰
You don't need to feel sorry for couples who don't want kids. It's also conscious decision, cause clearly it's a lot of work, responsibility and nowadays your life can be filled with love and joy without children, otherwise it's selfish if you need kids to feel loved. I know caring women without kids. I really enjoy the freedom in my life and flexibility, my partner is an entrepreneur who doesn't have enough time for a kid and I don't want to raise a kid basically on my own than. Also kid's aren't always the big blessing, I know many people who regret it, but society views down on them and still on women who don't want kids. I know so many women complaining a lot about motherhood, so I have mixed feelings and being 33 I feel to old... in my 50ies I want peace and calm and not a teenager or college kid to take care of
I am 35 and still thinking if I really want kids. I work with preschoolers and I have to say it's becoming so difficult to raise emotionally stable kids. Besides, today's society is such a mess, that I am really questioning if that tiny little unborn human would like to be part of it 😂
The best interview with @Dr.Shefali Ive seen!
Yep, using the other person's insecurities against them ruins marriages. Mine was ruined by my ex's unapologetic use of poison-tipped arrows are things I struggled for years to heal from. I hate that we teach kids this insane and gaslighting BS: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Words hurt worse than broken bones and for longer.
Words hurt? Only Abusive Energy hurts
@@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN Not sure what the difference is. Words are often how that "abusive energy" gets conveyed.
That is so awesome!!!It's a firs time that I hear so openly annd honest someone talks about! Thank you!
Love love love Dr. Shifali!!! She’s a powerhouse 🙏❤️
Omg as a woman who didn’t have the motherly instinct and I was pressured to have kids and ended up having a kid at 37 because I knew I needed to vs being a wish it was very very it is very very difficult now I feel sooooo guilty for not embracing those early years
Lisa, WHY would you put such a degrading thumbnail picture of this beautiful woman?
So not cool.
All of her thumbnails have wacky expressions.
Because she doesn’t know what she hasn’t experienced. The guest is speaking a foreign language to her.
Happy Anniversary!!! Thank you for sharing your stories and wisdom
1:47:00 I am so grateful to a partner if they don't counteract to my hurt and nervousness... it takes conscience and heart to handle... this matters a LOT in a man!
Love this topic. Im on a mission to become the best parent!!!!... But OMG!!! I need your shoes Lisa!!! 😍😍😍😍 and how you wear them 🙌 you're so!!! Love your present and confidence 🙌😍
I wish more the the questions were directed from someone who actually wants children, childfree perspectives are important but so are those from those who want children.
The title of this video is misleading IMO. Spoiler alert: becoming a parent is the thing that "DESTROYS" relationships.
My standard 7/grade 9 school teacher told us this, "do you want to know what kills love btwn 2 ppl - BABY" of course she was talking abt before marriage bt honestly I think implications are the same
Omg. She reminds me of Ashwarya Rai...her voice. Yes, this lady speaks sense, its hard but you just get on with it alongside your family duties.
Amazing episode!!!
One think that people need to consider too is that you get what you get. There's a high percentage of autism these days, greater chance of birth defects and having a child with special needs especially at a later age. And you'll be responsible for them your entire life, not just until 18 or after college. Also be ready to love and accept your child no matter whether they're like you or the complete opposite of you, if they turn out to be non-binary, trans, etc. or an ugly kid. Lol
Also, if you paid attention - it's the women who give up things (like career) to be moms. Men do not give up their careers or themselves to be dads.
Hi Shefali...I need help. I have two young daughters. I got separated from my husband last year...actually it was my daughters who took me out of the domestic violence relationship. However, I am still connected to my husband and somehow the circumstances I have taking his help for the past few months. I have been talking to my husband about our kids despite the girls telling me that I should not. Now they have a feeling that I am not telling them the truth and sharing everything with their father. I really want to connect with them but they are not giving me the platform for an easy conversation. They have a bubble around them which I can't get through. The truth is that I have no feelings for my husband and don't want to be with him ..I feel lonely and left out by my daughters. On the other hand my husband desperately wants me back in his life.
In my opinion, he does not want you back because he values you but because he misses what you used to do for him. By staying with him, you are teaching your daughters that abuse is normal. Not a lesson you want them to learn. If he doesn’t value you, he also doesn’t value his daughters and they deserve better and you need to show them how to set healthy boundaries. Do not throw them in the parent role
Soo true!
This is why get a pet first before having a child because un like children pets depend on u constantly where as children will eventually grow up and push u away but pets won’t because they don’t have the vocabulary so they can tell u 2 leave them alone but human children do because when they become teens they will want 2 push u away and u have 2 be tough and take it with pride and find something else 2 keep u busy but when pets grow up they can’t do that
this lady is gorgeous.
She’s Expert❤
Right. She could be a high-end model
She is a Buddha Mama. Amazing！
So so true 🙌
Can you make a video on how women are toxic in love relationships.
Well………………..?
Beautiful 💕
We do all this healing and then the child gets an iPad.
Heads up, after commenting here I had a WhatsApp message in notifications to contact you.
She said "lobito" but I heard lobotomy 😭😭😭
Fuck health health doesn’t make u money why can’t we go back 2 the june cleaver days
Huh
@@ChristinaHay-p7h I don’t care about health I just care about paying my bills and surviving